Weekend friends

We went to some friends’ house last night for swimming and dinner. They have kids, a boy and a girl, right around our kids’ ages, and our kids play pretty well with theirs. They go to our church, and I got to know the mom/wife through choir. They’re perfectly nice. We had a fine time. But it just wasn’t emotionally satisfying in the way that I want our couple-friendships to be. It never is with these friends; they’re like us in some ways, and very much not like us in others. The word I came up with was warmth -- there just isn’t a lot of warmth among us. Not a lot of laughter. Okay, I’ll say this: we don’t really care for the husband as much as I like the wife. So there’s an imbalance, for one thing. I don’t think they’re tee-totallers but they don’t ever offer beer or wine, which I feel is sort-of odd for a Sunday afternoon in the summertime…. or, for anytime at a social gathering of adults. Is it weird for me to think that? I know alcohol isn’t necessary for a good time, but frankly this party could have used some loosening up. No matter – it is what it is, and I certainly don’t require alcohol for a good time (geez, now I’m all self-conscious that I brought it up). Anyway, I’m left wondering if the friendly warmth will develop over time (although we’ve been getting together with this couple, sporadically, for 5 years now), or if it just isn’t meant to be. Sigh. I’m trying.

On Friday night I had gone out with the school moms – a group of about 8 of us. We had a fantastic outing at an art workshop, where they coached us through painting a beach scene. I was pretty darn proud of mine, and it was fun to let the artist in me try something a little different.

But I thought, if I put as much effort into our couple-friendships as I do my girl-friendships, maybe we’d enjoy that aspect of our life a bit more. What we need, we were reminded last week, is to get together with W@lt and M@rti. They’re fun to be around, if a little off the wall. W is always cracking off-color jokes (he emailed DH last week and said, “I know this is a sperm of the moment idea, but…” GROAN) but is full of warmth and humor. His wife emigrated to the U.S. and is very interesting and sweet, and they parent similarly to our style (older girl, younger boy). It’s been a long time since we saw them. And Sherry and D. (Hi, Sherry!): Some of the nicest people I know (and also fun, warm!). And Mel and Jon. Okay, maybe I need to schedule a party. Friendships require tending, and I can see I need to get into the garden and get my hands dirty. (Plus it was a NY's resolution. Eek. 2011's half over!)

Guilt of another "nature," har har

We all have Mommy guilt; that's an established fact. When we don't serve our special snowflakes 100% All-Organic Juice, perhaps, or we don't schedule them for fourteen different activities during the summer like their obviously Harvard-bound peers, or we do make them clean their plates at dinnertime (the horror!). But I have another kind of guilt and lately it's been worse than Mom-guilt.

Mowing guilt.

Folks, I have a confession. I have never once mowed our yard. Never. Once. My poor, dear husband suffers yearly when the summer heat and humidity begin -- and even when it's a comfortable seventy degrees, he suffers up and down the hilly, sinkhole and rabbit-hole danger zone that is our giant yard. He bought the lawnmower, he uses the lawnmower... he hates the lawnmower.

And I don't help.

Obviously, it's a very dated picture of domestic life -- she cooks and takes care of the children, and he does the heavy yard labor. For that I feel badly, even though I hardly call myself a staunch feminist. I think in other areas, we do things mostly evenly. We both changed diapers. We both give baths. We both manage the money. We both MAKE the money. We both clean toilets. (Actually, if I'm to be fair, he does a lot more of the cleaning (vacuuming) than I do.) But I just can't bring myself to mow the grass.

Because It's HOTTTTTTTTT! Proper Southern ladies are simply not meant to sweat as much as it would require for me to tackle that task (did I tell you I was once a Debutante?)... No. No amount of iced tea could make up for it. And.... it's a big MACHIIIIIIINE! I'm slightly scared of it, I have to admit. I could cut off a foot! It's a dirty job, and, unfortunately, DH has to do it. That's just the way it is. I would say he knew this going in to the marriage... but he probably didn't, since we didn't have a lawn before we were married. Whoops.

My mother, I will have you know, has never mowed grass, either.

I suppose the obvious solution would be for us, a 2-income family, to Pay Someone Else to do it. The one time I tried that, it was an EPIC FAIL. I should have known, employing a pre-teen. Any future hire would have to be a professional service, and I feel like I've suggested it before, but... economy and unnecessary expenditures blah blah blah.

So. Guilt. Maybe it balances out slightly because I agree to play unlimited games of CandyLand with the kids while he does it?

(Do you ladies mow? I'm not sure I want you to answer that.)

Seven Quick Takes for AJ's 7th Birthday

Age 1.

We think AJ is figuring out ma-ma and da-da. Real WORDS. Evidently while I was gone, he saw a picture of me and DH, and looked at it and said, "ma-ma." **Heart melts.** Sweet, sweet, boy.

Age 2.

When we're outside, he's figured out that it's fun to RUN downhill. Again, I wince when he does it and prepare myself for a trip to the ER, but the joy on his face almost makes up for the heart attacks. His immediate request, when he falls, is for me to kiss it (although, no matter what hurts, he offers his LIPS to get kissed), and then he asks for "Ice?" Ahhhh, I love it. I always remind him that I will ALWAYS & FOREVER kiss his booboos.

Age 3.

He's fun to play board games with at this stage, because he's not competitive. Whoever wins, he screams with glee, "You WIIIIINNNN!"

Age 4.

AJ's adventure of the week: sticking something in his ear "just to see what would happen." He saw what happened, alright. A nice metal forceps AND a warm earwash later, and I don't think he'll be sticking paper OR crumbs anywhere but his pockets from now on (he'd better not)!

Age 5.

[he was so small then!]

Age 6.

We have no idea how this happened, but oh, man, watching your child succeed, and seeing HIM swell with pride and excitement... it’s like nothing I’ve ever felt. I was most proud of his attitude, and those of his fellow Scouts, though. When their own cars weren’t racing, they were cheering each other on.

Age 7. We're going to start it off with a bang, try out a new bike, go to TACO MAC (your favorite), and celebrate YOU all weekend. And then we'll see what happens next. Happy birthday, my amazing, sensitive, serious, articulate, adorable boy (who knows how to swim)! There's nothing better than watching you grow.

quick takes!

Grateful for these moments

It was a real three-day weekend, and we didn't travel anywhere, so we got to enjoy the full 72 hours' worth, with no major time-sucking activities like driving. Such a blessing!

Friday night: We had been telling the kids all week we would go to the new frozen yogurt place for Friday's D-Word Night. (Dessert, for the uninitiated.) And we did, and it was delicious, and non-eventful, and I think everyone was in a good mood!

Saturday: We went to the pool in the morning, got the kids well tired out, and even got some laps swum, ourselves. KT saw another couple of little girls there, and immediately wanted to swim over to them. I'm always concerned about bothering other people, but she is such a social butterfly! I'm curious how that will mesh with my own introvertedness as she gets older...

Dinner at one of our favorite restaurants (at suggestion of which AJ whined, "but we ALWAYS GO THERE!!" - luckily, we talked him down), with funny conversation and delicious pizza.

Sunday: Another restaurant outing -- brunch after Mass, at IHOP. I love going out to breakfast and we hardly ever do it.

Later, a leisurely pedicure for Mommy, during which I finished my book, and a grocery run With No Kids (you guys know what a gift that is). Just being able to set my purse down in the kid-seat, rather than keeping it on my shoulder, is such a relief!

Monday: Our city's 4th of July parade -- we got a pretty decent spot in the shade, found parking nearby (for $5.00, but still), wore our patriotic tee-shirts and waved flags! I got SO, SO teary as the parade started. Just the charm of being at a parade with my little family, I guess, must have brought back childhood memories of doing that, myself, as a kid... and then when all the Veterans marched by and shook the hand of the elderly vet (he was wearing a VFW hat) standing near us... I couldn't take it. Pride and patriotism and nostalgia all bubbled up to the surface and I let go like a leaky faucet.

Monday night: Tucking two very tired kids into their beds, and knowing that even though it was rumbling thunder outside, they would sleep well after all our activities. I love kissing those sweet little heads of theirs.

Wordy

Well, then. I don’t believe I have ever gone an entire June without first whining extensively on the blog about WHEN IS MY VACATION GOING TO START???, and then subsequently reminiscing about our lovely vacation that happened completely offline.

This year I was not stressed about preparing for the trip (except that one day), nor worried that Beach Week would never get here. I was too busy at work to loll about on the Internet with my THOUGHTS. I was entering product, entering product, entering product. Furiously proofreading. Furiously changing and translating. Attending meeting after meeting. My part of the Big Project is coming to an end and I can already start to feel the familiar loll-about desire. Hence my presence today, I suppose. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt like I could write a blog post for FUN during the day! But I have been reading all of yours for quick mental breaks, and on my phone when waiting for water to boil for dinner and such.

At any rate, our vacation. Was terrifically lovely. When I told my girlfriends the other night that I ACTUALLY read my book on the beach while there with KT, they all gasped. Moms with kids this age simply don’t GET to read on the beach, do we? I gather it’s a universal complaint. Admittedly, it was only KT there with me – 1 kid is less to manage than 2, aren’t I good at math? She was very serene, happy to be SITTING in the sand, digging a little bit, pouring it into her bucket of water, and I guess “building” sand castles.
I would get up every 5 minutes or so to re-fill her bucket from the surf, because she certainly wasn’t interested in the water. In fact, she was quite fearful of its loud volume. So it really WASN’T leisurely, uninterrupted reading... but it WAS reading. On the beach. It was awesome.

Also, AMAZING progress on the swimming front. Amazing. AJ is now able to doggie-paddle from one end of the pool to the other, with no floatation device (or parent) to assist!! Feels like a miracle, to be honest. We worked actively with him at my parents’ pool – it’s so helpful that their shallow end is truly shallow, and his short-kid feet could touch the bottom! It boosted his confidence tremendously. He is a bit of a fish now, and during our week away he was even eager to swim all the way to the DEEP END. I’m curious to see him at the neighborhood pool this weekend. But still, it helps my nerves a lot that he KNOWS to KICK his feet and he will move through the water. (I still try to stay pretty close.)

We returned home last Saturday buzzing with sunshine and relaxation (and Cajun food), and I think as a result of all the relaxing, had a big, philosophical conversation (DH and me) during the drive about improving our attitudes. Not worrying about money and time so much, and making sure we do fun things with the kids on purpose, with good attitudes, not grumbling every step of the way. I felt so good about that conversation. Because really, what do we have to be unhappy about? Nothing in the world. We should live and enjoy the everyday as well as the vacation-day, because we truly CAN if we just try. We held hands and really agreed. Smiled about it, even.

And then Sunday DH discovered that our water line from the street to the house was leaking. And has been for a couple of months. We got an estimate for fix it, to the tune of a LOT OF dollars. So that put a damper on the whole “Good Attitude” thing.

Last night we were all either grumpy or snippy. The kids were driving me KER-AZY and I know it had everything to do with this newly discovered, albeit temporary, stress. Doggone it, Universe. We would have liked to ride that Serenity wave a bit longer.

Although I will say it's not all the ADULTS' attitudes' faults: AJ is copping some capital-A Attitude in his own right. Exerting his independence and such, with phrases like “I don’t care,” and “This is so Stupid” under his breath. Delightful. I presume this is normal for his age, especially after being away on his own for a week at Grandma’s. He is so cool now. But still. Oh, and WHAT IS IT with little boys – or mine, specifically – that makes him think he can JUMP onto me if I am 1. Sitting on the floor, or 2. Bent forward so that my back is somewhat flat, like if I’m picking up HIS shoes or toys??! I about killed him last night after he attempted to launch himself onto my neck for the umpteenth time. HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU MOMMY IS NOT A JUNGLE GYM!?)

Tranquil to NOT SO MUCH in 7 paragraphs. Not really. Things are fine. What have you been up to this summer? :)

Happy, Dopey, or Sleepy?

I took a nap at lunch today, in my car. After doing my required errand-of-the-day at Target (new swim floaties for KT, and dog treats). I parked under a tree and set my iPhone alarm for 18 minutes, the exact amount of time I had until my lunch hour was over. Not that anyone watches my timecard, but I like to be honest about working my 8 hours, you know. The weather was surprisingly NOT as humid as usual for Atlanta in mid-June, and I wished for more breezes through my open windows, but didn't really get them. No matter -- I knew the warmth and stillness might help me sleep. I breathed in.... breathed out...

I've also just finished reading Eat, Pray, Love, and am feeling very romantic about the idea of meditation, and the heightened meditative state. A blue-ish light, surrounded by love and happiness and all that? Intriguing. I would like to experience that, perhaps. (Not to mention the stress relief, fear relief, and other health benefits.) I suspect I may never achieve the deepest state of meditation, even much of a buzz, and even if I practiced for a long, long time -- I would simply fall asleep. That's what I do. At this point I probably believe that the blissed-out state that happens for other people is a form of sleep-state. Twilight-sleep, or something. At any rate, I'm fascinated by the idea right now (call me a hippie) and trying to translate it into Christian Contemplative, centering prayer, or daily devotional stuff that I can better wrap my head around, to find a starting point for a little study and trial. I mean, I know a little about the secular breathing meditations you can find by Googling "Meditation for beginners." Imagine you're in a place of calm, beauty, and peace for you...

Anyway, today I took a little nap. :)

Surprise 70th birthday!

We got back yesterday from a quickie trip to Florida, to honor my Dad on his 70th birthday. It was my sister's idea, actually. She called me several weeks ago and said, "So... Dad's birthday this year is a big one... I think we should do something." From there it was easy. DH and I were planning to handoff AJ for his Week at Grandma/pa's the very weekend of Dad's birthday -- or, we hadn't exactly planned it, but we did it that same week last year -- so we could just stay, ourselves, and have a party!

It worked out pretty well that Sister's husband has recently graduated from culinary school, and they've bought a catering business. Free catering?! Ding ding ding! Yes, please, I'll take two. :)

Sister and Chef Brother in Law arrived last Thursday night, and with help from some handy cousins picking them up at the airport, they showed up on Mom and Dad's doorstep around 10:30 that night. Knock, knock. Dad was, I'm told, completely befuddled at seeing them -- he'd been sleeping in front of the TV, naturally, and besides that, they live all the way across the country. I was a little bummed not to be a physical part of the surprise, but I know they TOLD him that we would arrive the following night, all 4 of us, and that's good enough for me.

The kids were so excited up to our leaving town, and even moreso once we got there. They hardly ever get to see this aunt and uncle, and of course they love their grandparents. We left after work Friday, arriving LATE, but the kids had napped in the car and were ready to GO once we got there. (That night KT was awake until 1:15. And then up the next morning at 6! GAH!) We invited cousins and neighbors and got a cake, and Saturday night was full of life and festivity. Lots of kids to entertain each other, which meant that, for the most part, DH and I could simply enjoy the company of our family. And the (wine and) FOOD! Chef BIL worked ALL DAY to made a gorgeous table full of fancy appetizers and shortbread cookies oh my! It was decadent and very special for such a special occassion.

Dad was in his element -- he loves a social event, and even though he wasn't allowed to be in charge of the planning and executing, which he also loves, I think he truly had a good time. He kept thanking us for "sacrificing" to come down and do this for him, but no part of it felt like a sacrifice to me. We swam in their pool both days, we let the grandkids charm everyone, we spent time actually talking after the party was over... it was wonderful to all be together, and for all he's done for us, he deserves a celebration like that every year!

Shouldn't summer be LESS hectic?

Hello.

I've been putting off posting because I have wanted the next post to be THE BEFORE and AFTER of our kitchen. I owe you! I love the new look. I WANT to share! But then when I'm at home with my laptop and my pictures, I never have the juice to do that task. Maybe tonight? (Don't get your hopes up.)

Summer's awesome, right? Summer's all relaxing and no homeworking and wonderful easy, light dinners, later than usual because it's still sunny out at 7:30 pm. Right? Except summer's kinda busy, too. We just got back from our annual Memorial Day road trip to Nanny's, we are taking AJ down to his grandparents' house this weekend, and then the next is OUR week off at the beach, and meanwhile, Stupid Work is ramped up to eleven and there seems to be another birthday party , with another GIFT to buy dagnabit, every weekend. And we have to plan our own AJ's party and get invites sent BEFORE we go out of town, because his falls right after we return. Gah! Not that I ever get stressed out or anything.

Camp is going well -- AJ is occupied all day, having fun with friends, and runs into his sister sometimes. They both love seeing each other at school. I asked him, theoretically, if he'd prefer 1) Me working at home so he could play all day at home (with friends, of course), and we'd go to the pool Every Day of Summer, or 2) Camp (at the daycare). He chose Camp. I'm fascinated. I would have chosen POOL EVERY DAY when I was a kid. Of course, my kid's not yet a confident swimmer (although he's getting better and better). A friend told me her two kids reported the same: Camp. This generation wants to be occupied and entertained, I suppose. And that's fine... it just doesn't match up to the lazy, "I'm BORED" kind of (wonderful) summers I remember, with Green Acres on TV and the public library's summer reading program.

We have been to the neighborhood pool twice now. I love it. I'm so happy we paid the $400 Association fee to join it. I mean, yeah, that was a painful check to write, but having pool access is just awesome. Even if I DON'T get to sit in a lounge chair with my book. It's because KT won't wear her floaties so I'm nervous about her being in the water without me, and AJ is still just getting his feet wet (pun!) about swimming. I'm unsure what would happen if he let go of the pool noodle, and imagining that gives me nightmares, literally. The other night I bolted awake TWICE because in my dream it was time to JUMP over and save him from drowning. Ack. I hope I'll get over this fear someday -- it's a doozie. Tell me I'll get over it. Please.

My birthday this weekend was lovely. Facebook was partly to thank with its 120-something wishes! I loved checking in every so often, and I got random greetings from so many fun people from my past. My college chorus director! My theater friend from 1990! My buddy who lives in Antarctica and said he wished he worked with me right now, so we could have a "professional brithday party." (Cake in the conf. room) Hahahahaha! Marvelous! DH gave me a sweet card, in which he wrote that I'm "his good ol' gal," hee hee, a little pet phrase that I adore (and hate, but really adore), and he went out at 8:00 am to buy me coffee from Starbucks. I almost refused him that, but thought - NO! He wants to pamper me this morning, I WILL TAKE IT!! So sweet. He also gave me 2 tickets to see Guys and Dolls downtown in August, and I am THRILLED about that. It's one of my favorites. He'll have to endure a musical ("people don't just BREAK INTO SONG, it's unnatural"), but I hope he'll think it's worth it when he sees me so happy -- and besides, a NIGHT OUT to look forward to! Superb gift.

Stories

I went to a baby shower this weekend. I never feel like I get just the perfect thing, although I typically purchase directly off the registry for both wedding and baby showers, because that ensures that it’s something they officially want, right? You scanned it, don’t complain! But there were several unexpected adorable presents – or really practical presents – and I was disappointed with my contribution. The Mom-to-be is a good friend and I’m really excited she’s joining the Mommy club... I guess I’m just going to have to supplement this shower with another random gift sometime soon. It’s nice to have an excuse to buy baby stuff! I kinda miss that ol’ Babies R Us. If you can believe this, not a single 3-pack of Carter’s onesies was in the pile. So I’ll start with that (practical!).

***

Here was our Saturday:

9:00 am vet appointment (DH, kids, dog)

(I stayed behind to shower and then clean the bathroom)

11:30 am baby shower (me)

12:00 pm bday party at Bouncy Place (DH, kids)

3:00 pm playdate with church friend and her 2 kids

6:00 pm Girls’ Night Out (me)

6:15 pm McDonald’s, movie night (DH, kids)

DH said he enjoyed all that time with the little ones, and I'm so grateful to him for not being a Saturday golfer. (How do the golf widows do it??) And I very much enjoyed my GNO. I know I say, a lot, how I don’t feel like I have good girlfriends here. But look at that... three entirely different events with different GIRL friends. Maybe my lot is changing. The GNO was with 3 fellow school moms. One of them even said, “Think how many of these nights we have to look forward to! Our kids are just starting out!” Awwww. It’s true love. I know this will sound inordinately dumb, but I finally felt like one of the popular girls. And of course feelings and friendships will change and develop, who knows, but for this one night, I was there. My heart was full and my cheeks tired from laughing. It’s exactly what I’ve wished for.

PLUS, they have girl uniforms to hand down, they promised. YESSSSSSS!

***

KT has been SO much better about staying in her bed. Well, as I type that I’m remembering that I ended up in AJ’s bed on Friday night because she had taken over, perpendicularly, in mine. But still, it’s not every night anymore. She shared a little gem with DH sometime on Saturday – told him that he snores. (And he does, if he’s on his back. Sorry, hon!) Unfortunately, I was not immune to her opinions, either. When asked, “What does Mommy do?” she cunningly replied, “What Mommy does in the bed is I don’t like your STINKY BREATH.”

Lovely. Called out as a mouth-breather by my own daughter.

Time to Tend Them

It was one of those weekends where I felt really good about spending so much time with the kids. We really were able to focus on them, which is great for any family, but especially for a 2-working-parents one. DH and AJ went out Saturday morning to see THOR IN 3D – and came home speaking like that, in all caps, by the way, calling me “MAIDEN” and “WOMAN.” Heh, heh. That left KT and me some nice girl-time to get haircuts and go shopping. One of my buddies chided me for that, saying, “You’re starting her on that already??!” ...UM, YES. Actually she didn’t want to get her hair cut after we got there, but I did, and she sat patiently with my iPhone, playing her games (Princess dress up and the Sorting game from Toddler Teasers are her current favorites). What did kids DO before iPhones, I ask you?!

During our lunch (McDonald's, her choice), KT said something directly to me like, “This is Fun, Mommy. We’re having Fun.” I can’t recall the exact words but it was so sweet. Sometimes she tacks on “..because I love you” to her sentences (“You have to hold me [whine] because I love you.”) – she may have done that. “This is fun, Mommy, because I love you.” It’s clearly the most adorable thing you’ve ever heard, and it absolutely made my day. Even though she later pitched a hissy fit over not getting to push the buttons on the card-swiper at Target (eyeroll), and was swiftly buckled back into her carseat and told something disciplinary.

Saturday afternoon we went to a last hurrah cookout at AJ’s baseball coach’s home. I feel like we’re more socially engaged with this couple than with any of our other friends (until football season, when our Good Friends invite us over nearly every weekend to watch a game) – but I’m not sure I want to continue putting time into the friendship. Lots of reasons that I don’t feel like explaining – mostly about the coaching style. On the other hand – without other nearby couple-friendship options, I should be grateful, shouldn’t I? Tend the friendship and count my blessings. I was happy on Saturday when the wife called me casually and I was able to help her out with the menu – it was like, something actual girlfriends do. I have so little of that in my daily life. It’s weird.

At any rate, it’s definitely our turn to have this family over for dinner, so that will have to be in the works, if nothing else. What do you do for couple-friendships? Date-nights with one spouse or the others’ co-workers? Leftover friends from high school or college? Neighbors? Church groups? Do tell.

New skills

I have 10 minutes unaccounted for, right now, during my day. This is a good thing; I’m reading a productivity book whose first concept blew my mind: Managing your life from a to-do list is overwhelming; Why not manage your life from a 24-hour Calendar instead, since that’s all the time you have in the day?

I have long managed everything with a weekly to-do list. I’ve loved having my spiral notebook at the ready at all time, have loved writing “May 9-13” at the top of the page, have loved numbering and checking off items on that list.

But this new thought – that there are too many to-dos, and putting them all on a list is counterproductive – has really changed my thinking. I’m still in the setup phase of this, but now every morning I open my Outlook Calendar instead, and order my day by hours or half-hours, and specific tasks. “Work on X website, 1 hour.” “Check emails, half-hour.” “Lunch and walk.” “Prep for 1:30 mtg.” It’s been very helpful.

Especially when, 2 weeks ago, I agreed to a freelance project that was due the week after having my parents visit, and also the week after baseball playoffs. I keep calling it The Stupidest Thing I've Ever Done. (But it was a good mental exercise; I acutally enjoyed the work itself.) I ended up scheduling time to work on it in my personal calendar, got it done late at night and turned it in on time – but there was one rough day when I stayed up until midnight, and had to get up at 5 am. I was completely buzzed that day on coffee and fog.

Eh, I survived it. That's what we do. (It's good money I'd like to use on clothes and shoes, and maybe even put some in savings.)

One minute left. I’m so glad school's about to end, although summer brings its own challenges. We’re getting ready to do our annual road trips. I like accomplishing things. I’d like to accomplish that walk today at noon.

That’s it for now.

Sticks

You know what I love about my little kids? Their attraction to sticks.

I’m unsure but I think most kids are like this. Or, maybe it’s just that our yard and our neighborhood are filled with huge old poplars and sycamores, and they self-prune, so every time we have a little rain – or a season of crazy thunderstorms and tornadoes every year – we wake up the next day to a lawnful of sticks, but… (run-on)… my kids cannot resist them.

I remember 18-month- and 2-year-old AJ wanting to Pick Up Sticks nearly every time we went outdoors. He could hold more than I expected him to, and lovingly “helped Daddy” whenever I asked, toting his load all the way down to the burn pile. We spent a lot of time in the yard that year. And now, he uses them as swords, ninja ... things I don't even know, Indiana Jones whips... whatever his little mind conjures up.

Yesterday, KT and I were home on a sick-day. It was a beautiful 70-degree afternoon, so we went outside for a while at her request. I started cleaning up the twigs from this past Tuesday’s downpour, and she was game to help. Until she found “her” stick – one just long enough for her to carry over her shoulder like a fishing pole, and coincidentally, long enough to poke into the rabbit holes to “see if they were sleeping.” When she dropped her special stick to inspect some other rock or clover, and then couldn’t find it again, we had to instigate a full-on hunt. (We found it, not to worry.)

They’ve both been told more than once that we don’t bring sticks into the house. (Unfortunately.) I mean, I understand how awesome they are, I really do – I usually tell the kids to save them by the outdoor table, or near the garage, for the next time we come to play, but they forget or move on to a new one.

Some kids pick up rocks, I guess. We like sticks.

Lame and lamer

Our Thursday anniversary might have been called “lame” by the casual observer. I emailed DH a grocery list at around 3:00, for Pete’s sake, so he could stop on the way home from work to pick up Pop Tarts and chicken breasts. (You don’t want to run out of Pop Tarts!) And we had the Most Boring of Family Dinners: Spaghetti with meat sauce. I guess you could say we’ve “made” it – we really ARE ten years in, as evidenced by those items. Of course I did also receive 2 dozen roses at my office, and a pretty Pandora bracelet, which I don’t think DH even knew was something I’ve been wanting. He is an excellent gift-giver.

The next night, we did have a babysitter (scheduled long in advance). We were planning to go downtown to the restaurant where we’d dined the night he proposed. Except… that restaurant is now closed. Hahaha. It’s perfect, actually – the place we met has also since been demolished, the shop where I bought my wedding dress gone, the church where we were married is no longer a church building... why not this place, too!? But our marriage has stood the test of time, my friend pointed out. Anyway, we stayed very close to home, instead. Had a nice dinner out with no one to escort to the potty, and no crayons on the table. Afterwards, we tried going to a movie, but there was nothing we were particularly interested in seeing, so we opted to drive around a bit and then just went home.

Lame? Maybe. Tired? Always, on Fridays. But I think it’s quite special that we can celebrate even the smallest of things – a dinner when we can actually talk, and think, and share a bite of each others’ choices – and have that be good enough.

I’ve been fighting a cold the last 4 days, which has added to my less-than-social desire to do nothing. I have a lot of respect for the creators of DayQuil, seriously. Yesterday after I realized it had been 4 hours and was perfectly legitimate for me to take another dose, my fog lifted SO NOTICEABLY! I mean, it’s pretty amazing that there’s no cure for the common cold but they sure know how to zap the symptoms.

Okay, I owe you people some before and after pictures, because our painting project is just about completed. First, may I just say that it is SO HARD to get a good shot of these rooms! I have no desire for a fancy camera because I don't feel like I could ever learn about F-stops and aperture and all that, but... whimper. I wish I could get my point-n-shoot to PERFORM better. So these are kinda lame. I plan to go back to take pictures during the day sometime soon with natural light. Also, I am NOT FINISHED decorating! Therefore I can only show you the den right now - the kitchen is not yet ready for public eyes. Also-also, I didn't actually TAKE official "before" photos because the state of the house went directly from we-live-here-messy to painting-project-disarray, so my random shot from 2008 will have to suffice.

Here is how the den looked before:
(Tee hee. Funny husband playing with AJ's Hulk Smash! hands.) Floral border and cornflower blue, blech.

And here is after.
Labrador on the bottom, and Hopsack on top, both by Valspar. This is just to the left of where DH is sitting in the above photo.

I don't know - can you tell how much better this is? I hope so. It's much, much better. More to come!

Ten

I can't believe it's been ten years!



I love this one because it makes me look skinny. :) And because I loved our cake. And because he was kind and didn't smoosh it into my face.


I love this one because it reminds me how much fun we had at our wedding and reception. I think I only had that one glass of wine but my mood was as if I'd had many more! Giddy! That says something, doesn't it!


and I love this one because it says it all. Happy Anniversary, my Dear, Darling, Wonderful Husband.





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Monday teaser list

Sooooo many things I want to document here and share with my few wonderful readers. Soooo should be working and not blogging. But I just started reading a new productivity book this morning, and it’s making my To-Do List look even MORE daunting and stupid than usual. Plus, it's a post-3-day-weekend Monday, so I have very little oomph for work. My inner self is more important than my [non-life-saving] work IMHO, so inner self wins for the moment, and spills out onto the screen, in bullets:

> Three-day weekend! My company kindly gave us Good Friday off, so I spent it with both kids. I know that isn’t news to most people, but every day is so precious, especially in light of things going on around me, and I just have to treasure each extra day I get. So we went to the mall, again – I’m becoming a mall regular, which scares me just a little bit – because KT needed some 3T shorts and tee-shirts for school. I found a lot of cute things at JC Penney. Surprised me, but they’re just as good a value as our beloved Target. And, okay, I also let each kid get a toy at the Disney Store. AJ found a Perry the Platypus whoopee cushion and I PAID MONEY FOR IT. *forehead smack* But hey, it makes him laugh. KT got a Dalmation puppy (I sort-of forced it on her). She's been sleeping with it, so I guess it was a good choice -- note: Not a princess.

> Lots of singing for Easter Weekend. I was in the choir section Friday night, Saturday night, and Sunday morning. It was rewarding and fun, and I had a small solo psalm, for which I was very kindly thanked and congratulated. Most lovely was that we had a soprano “ringer” join us, and she was friendly AND talented. I was thankful for her because she made me want to sing better. Kept thinking to myself, “My new friend, S.” Hope to see her again.

> Swimming lessons continue. I’ve nearly concluded KT’s portion of the show – she’s just really too young for it, given her swimming history of only one week in the summers. She can’t take the combination of a big pool, a lot of other splashing kids, an unknown grown-up, AND 3:00 on a Sunday afternoon with no nap. She's melted down each week. It’s another *forehead smack* moment for me – really stupid – and a sunk cost (hat tip: Tess), so... whatever. We’ll swim with her this summer because we’re joining the subdivision’s pool for the first time. I’m going to continue my early Tuesday/Thursday schedule, and plan to take the kids to the pool on those afternoons after camp/daycare. AJ’s making great progress in his lessons, and he had a private one yesterday because no one else showed up (who holds classes on Easter Sunday anyway?!). He needed the extra practice and one-on-one attention, and he did really well. But man, is it a challenge for kids who don't like water in their faces. I felt pretty bad every time he spit in the coach's face. (Eek.)

> Kitchen is painted! I will have the photographic evidence to post soon, right after we re-organize the entire cabinet system and put everything that currently resides on the dining table back in its new, rightful position. Ha! No big deal! I'm hoping that a lunchtime trip to Garden Ridge today will help with those tasks. (BASKETS.) We love the paint colors we chose. *Pats on back to us!* We r so smrt!

So... more to come this week: Hopefully an extra special Before/After edition, and also something else extra special (hint, the traditional gift is.... inexplicably, Tin). :)

Quick one

Giving up sodas of all kinds for Lent really does not leave much in the way of lunchtime drink options, I gotta tell ya.

I am pretty sick of Crystal Light and unsweet iced tea. I like both, but NEED SOME VARIETY IN MY LIFE. I'm not even allowing myself those clear Crystal Bay "flavored Sprites," as I call them.

Come on, dawn of Easter morn!!

Surrounded

We seem to be surrounded lately with news of families dealing with difficult things. I mean, my Prayer List, if I actively used such a thing, is a mile long (as it is, I say, "prayer list" in my mind, and I do think about and pray for these people when I think of it, but mostly ask God to "please remember all the friends I've been meaning to pray for," and hope He knows who I'm talking about).

-- a friend from high school whose older brother died suddenly, 2 weeks ago
-- my choir director, who went in for heart surgery and has had complications (on the mend now, thank God)
-- a college acquantaince and roommate of a good friend, who's having a drug addiction relapse, again
-- AJ's teacher, whose 4-month-old baby has just been admitted to the hospital for heart trouble
-- a former colleague, who's having surgery this week
-- DH's coworkers who were laid off last week
-- my church friend whose brother, I just found out, is homeless and she doesn't know how to help or approach him
-- my book club friend whose son is having speech delays and she's walking that scary "spectrum" tightrope, waiting for diagnosis
-- another church friend whose daughter was married less than a month before her new husband began abusing her (now going thru divorce and criminal charges)
-- my coworker whose hair is falling out from chemo

It pains me that all this is happening to people I know. I can't imagine how it feels - nothing tragic has really ever happened in my own, immediate daily life. I don't know how I got so lucky (and I can't help but wonder, so morbidly and inappropriately, when will it be our turn - am I the only one who does that)? I look at my kids laughing and running and sleeping peacefully, my husband working so hard and keeping me entertained at the same time!, my parents being attentive and loving my whole life, my job staying intact, our health fine... and I am overwhelmed with the inexplicable goodness of my life.

Spring break 2011 (cont'd)

I am enjoying this week so much. It's rare time at home, doing errands, wandering, puttering, playing, and being grateful (I know it sounds nerdy but I do pinch myself and think, do I really not have to work from home while I'm here?!). (And I do not!)

Anyway, for posterity, here's what else we've been doing.

Tuesday: KT did stay home with us, and because it rained Monday night, my picnic plan was postponed, so we had our movie day instead. We met DH for lunch at Burger King and then went to see "Hop." (Much better than I expected. Russell Brand is cuter as an animated bunny.) Lots of Skittles were consumed. Afterwards there wasn't much time for anything else, but we did play outside with the neighbor kids and KT got a taste of the trampoline. She likes it. :) She crashed at 6pm and completely missed dinner, but rallied in time for a pleasant bath and regular bedtime. A great day.

Today: AJ and I had big plans to visit the local mall, where he was looking to procure a Pillow Pet. Its a pillow! It's a pet! It's a Pillow Pet! He got a blue triceratops and named it Rex, then changed that to Spike. Lunch at the Food Court! My kids think the mall is the coolest treat -- escalators, elevators, AND a Cookie Company?! Blows their little minds. KT took a Good nap at school and now the 2 of them are involved in a complicated outdoor spy and hide-n-seek game, again with the neighbors. While I sit at the patio table thumb-typing on my phone. Truly handy, these neighbors. Before I picked KT up I vacuumed and dusted the downstairs, did a load of laundry, and scheduled tomorrow (felt good to get that crap done, too):

Thursday: a picnic at Piedmont Park in ATL with my best friend from college. With the kids, of course. And frisbees.


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Spring break 2011

I took spring break off this year for the first time. Monday's report: Walgreens and Target this morning, trampoline jumping with our neighbors when we returned (yes, we both jumped!), picnic lunch with them in 75-degree weather, swimming at 2 at the public (indoor) pool, AJ getting more comfortable with it and having fun, "just us, Mommy," Frostys for snack after getting KT, then home for dinner and a kid-friendly movie (G Force).

Pretty good start. :)




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(i feel it necessary to explain that KT only naps at when she's at school and therefore had to attend today. Momma needs a break, too! Plus, I wanted to check out this pool with only 1 kid to watch, our 1st time there. She'll be hanging with us tomorrow! No swimming, but extra fun.)

Keep Calm and Carry On

I printed a postcard size image of that wonderful old British saying (in red) a few mornings ago, and pinned it near my desk at work. I'm a cheeseball, yes. I'll see it every day when I arrive and when I leave. It makes me smile. Which is exactly what I need to do regarding The Busy: just smile, keep calm, and carry on. Things have gotten better this week (thanking God for the rain which cancels t-ball games), but I don't want the kids to know we're stressed, just that we're living Quite a Nice Life. I'm always sorry when I stress out and complain about it here, but I guess it's honest so I might as well document it. Like DH said, one day we won't have all these same commitments, and I'm sure we'll kind-of long for them.
I was thinking that same thing re: the 3-yr-old in the bed, this morning. One day, I will no longer be able to snuggle under the covers with my kids. EVER. I mean, really ever. (I never snuggle in with MY Mom, even though I love her dearly!) So I'd better soak it all up. Their little open mouthed breaths, soft hair tickling my face, feet in my ribs... Well, you know what I mean. Easy for me to say right now; she's only been in the bed with us once this week, HALLELUJAH. Ask me again when she's back in the habit again. (Please, God, no.) We bribed her with princesses - those new little Polly-Pocket-esque ones with the plastic dresses - and it has mostly worked.
Moving -- Carrying! -- On!

-- This week I got to go shopping again for work. Twice. Nice little perk - two hours walking the mall. Sadly I try to stay on task, so that means no trying on, no stopping for Starbucks, no real time to people-watch. But it's still a break from the usual.

-- The painting project is going so well. We love the new color. I can't wait to post before and afters, but not until we get everything put back together. It's going to take a long time re-decorating one large wall, from which we've removed a giant print that I bought with my college roommate, three residences ago. I'm thinking of wall art like this, and shelving similar to this but not necessarily in that color (although maybe?), and a new mantle-scape with objets d'art. Heh! But I'm very indecisive. We also have to paint over the blue checkered wallpaper in our kitchen. We hope it doesn't turn out awful!

-- Swimming lessons! Our first outing went well, considering. I knew we'd have a meltdown from one of the kids, just wasn't sure which. It was KT. She was quite tired on a Sunday afternoon at 3:00, but all signs leading up to her lesson were good. "Mommy, is it my turn yet? Is it my turn? I want to go swimming. I want to swim! My turn?" She hopped up when the clock struck three, walked all the way around the pool to where her coach was waiting, and the minute he picked her up to measure her for a back float... "Waaaaaaaa! Mommyyyyyyyyyyyy! I don't wannnnnnnna swiiiiimmmm! Mommmmmmyyyyyy!!!!!" So. Nothing to be done but let her sit it out. We tried, the coach and I, to cajole her and flirt with her and offer her a chocolate milkshake if she'd just get in the water, but she was done. I'm hoping for a better outcome next time since those lessons were NOT FREE. Eek. Maybe she's too young, but if I hadn't signed her up, I KNOW she'd have been sad/jealous that big brother always gets to do everything. Understandably.

AJ, on the other hand, was my brave little bunny. He didn't like it, but he got in the water and really tried. He paddled, he kicked a little, he FACED HIS FEARS. I was amazed at him. My big boy! So brave. He did whimper a bit, but closed his eyes and soldiered on. The one time he let go of the wall and his coach had to pull him up, sputtering, brought back all of Mommy's bad summer memories (I can't seem to find a post about it, but he went under once while we were night swimming on our last beach vacation, and it scared the bejeezus out of me), but I was brave too, telling myself, "That's why we're here. That's why we're here..."