You needed me

We returned from my parents' house on Monday evening, whiny toddler in tow. He'd been unusually fussy about "wann' go bye-bye" when we left Florida that morning, then when we pulled into our garage 6 hours later, it was all tears and "go bye-bye?" again. I think he was confused. We're definitely having a whining stage. And traveling is hard. (Hi: I've mastered the obvious.) I can deal with that.

It didn't stop us from having a good vacation. Six days! I didn't realize it was going to be six full days, but man, was that nice. Time with the family, lounge-around days, no plans whatsoever... it was heaven.

Except.... along with the whiny, I get the clingy. Do you? Man, does my kid NEED ME. After a few days of it -- don't get me wrong, I love vacation and getting to be with him, but! -- I was about ready to jump out of my skin if I had to let him "help me" do dishes, or go to the bathroom, or clean out my closets, or go to the store one more time. He's so funny. I'll say, "AJ, I'm going to the potty, I'll be Right Back." And he immediately pops up and declares, "I come, Mama," as he runs to catch me. My Mom was kind enough to encourage me, saying that even though I get "a break" when I go to the office, once I leave there and pick him up (on typical days), it's all-him all-the-time. She made me feel normal about being tired of him, is what I'm trying to say. Even though I'm not a SAHM. And I needed to hear that. So thanks, Mom. :)

Mom also told me that parents can't play with their kids too much. I worry sometimes that I'm making myself more of a playmate for AJ than a responsible (disciplinarian?) capital-P Parent. But she said don't worry.

It was our first Thanksgiving without my Grandmother, and I didn't realize that it was Mom's first dinner party since the funeral in August. We got teary about that, and of course it was strange not to serve Grandmother's one pretty glass of wine, or take her home after the evening was over. Husband very keenly observed that my Mom's having to adjust to not being needed as much as when Grandmother was with us. She absolutely took care of everything for Grandmother -- she was Relied Upon. And now that's missing from her daily round. Ironically, that was one of the things Grandmother talked about in her recent years -- she wanted to feel appreciated and necessary, and often didn't. So I'm thinking of you, Mom, and want you to know how much *I* need you. (See above.)

Interesting that the same theme drifted in and around and through the holiday for both of us.

We had some great moments at the piano. AJ was truly in awe of my cousin Tom, who plays. He would sit on the bench with him and wiggle his little bottom in time to "Jingle Bell Rock" and "Come Here, Santa Claus." Maybe you know it as "Here Comes." A musician in the making, perhaps? Or at least some to-be-treasured musical memories (and videos) of holiday time, which every kid definitely needs.