Letters from the edge

Dear Sinuses:

We have never really gotten along and today I just want to say: I hate you.

Love,
el-e-e

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Dear 85-Degree Overnight Outdoor Temperature:

We need to talk. You are out of bounds and I'm starting to have a real problem with you. I especially hate that you make my AC run ALL NIGHT LONG, so that I can HEAR money being sucked right out of my wallet. These nights, it never stops for a little QUIET time while I'm trying to sleep. One other thing: You're compounding my current problem with the Sinuses, which is an actual head-cold and isn't helped by having dry mouth and lips and a foggy head, due to the aforementioned AC.

Piss on ya,
el-e-e

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Dear 25-year-old AC Unit:

You blow (but I'm in no mood for jokes). Also, your friend the metal Vent cover? The one who clicked all night with your constant blowing? click click click click click... Not happy with that either. You can pass that on.

Later.

p.s. Don't die, by the way. I still need you.

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Dear Baby:

Now, sweetie, you are entirely too young to be giving Mama this much trouble. I know you're growing and everything, and you need me to sleep on the left side for optimal circulation, but here's the deal: Mama needs her rest. So get comfortable and quit making me flop over and over. Like I said, you're much, MUCH too young for this. This next three months of gestation is supposed to be the blissful part. So work on that for me, okay? I'll give you cookies if you do.

Seriously.
Love,
Mama

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Dear Boss:

Not feelin' it today. A little tired. Sorry.

Best,
el-e-e