My fatal mistake was making it all public

That list. It's sitting down there mocking me. Stupid, stupid me to get so ambitious out here in the open where everyone can see! Monday was a fail, right? Then Tuesday morning, I woke up at 5:00 a.m. to puke. (Oh, hello there! Got your attention didn't it?) I felt better by noon, stayed careful by having broth and Sprite for lunch. Tuesday evening, KT puked all over the couch. And then twice in her bed. The parents' gold-medal event is always Puke Patrol in the middle of the night right? We went in there like a well-trained team -- he handled the sheet-changing, I handled the kid-clean-up, wham-bam, back into bed in 10 minutes or less. Annnnnnd... Wednesday, AJ's school nurse called and DH had to pick him up. Puke again! Which is how I find myself working from home with him today. What a week.

I guess the photo albums are going to have to wait, huh?

AJ and I are going to work for a while (he's on the Mac, I'm on my work laptop, on opposite sides of the kitchen table - cute!), I hope he'll do some coloring -- he's been really into coloring this little comic book lately -- and we'll probably head to Wal-Mart for a few essentials (LYSOL WIPES) later today.

I'm just thankful it's a little stomach bug that seems to go away, and not H1N1. Since we never did get our shots.

What're you doing today?

Monday fail

I did none of the things on my list. Wait, I read a chapter of my book. Felt crappy due to a lingering -- impending? -- cold, and just went to bed early. Hoping to make the salad quick-like tonight before dinner. Sock drawer, bills, and laundry... well, thank goodness for DH doing laundry. :) Still. Gotta have goals.

Just don't sit down

Monday
check bills
make black bean salad for Tues. dinner
yoga, book

Tuesday
bath night/vacuum downstairs
organize sock drawer (yes, seriously)
laundry
yoga, book

Wednesday
vacuum upstairs
put photos in photo album (1 year behind OMG)
yoga

Thursday
more photos/laundry
yoga?
Project Runway

Friday
yoga, book

If I can keep from sitting down on the couch all week, I'll be fine.

Lent again

I'm surprised that the only previous blog post about Lent that I could find was this one. I feel like I write about it every year, but I've been combing through my categories and finding nothing. At any rate, it's our first Lent with a child who is learning what Lent is. It means we have to actually practice it, ahem.

AJ came home on Mardi Gras saying his only homework was to choose something to give up for Lent. I thought it was odd that they're still mostly teaching the "give up" theory of Lent, when all we adults hear these days is, "It's not a diet; do something MORE, don't just give up chocolate."

Well, I gave up chocolate. AJ decided he's giving up his DS, which, if any of you has a 5 year old boy, perhaps you know what a MAJOR sacrifice this actually is. And did you also know that Lent is 53 days this year? We counted. I am already impressed with him for even thinking of it. I hope it doesn't come back to bite me this Saturday with a big WHINE FEST. I gave up the chocolate because I thought it only fair for me to give up something tangible, and DIFFICULT, that he can witness. DH gave up Vault, by the way -- his first "give up" too, as a lifelong non-Catholic who is now raising Catholic kids. Bless him.

But the other thing I want to give up is Wasting Time. It's directly related to my Monday and Tuesday -- I was feeling unusually listless at work, unable to start any of my projects, flipping windows in IE with plenty to do but no place I wanted to go. I know a lot of people give up the entire Internet, or Facebook, or blogging, but I can't really go there. I have to be on FB for my job, actually, and I think it would be impossible not to check on my own peeps once in a while. However, getting sidetracked to the point of reading the same status updates twice in one day? Not acceptable. Surfing Google Reader for more than 10 minutes during the workday (eek, yes, I do this) -- no longer. Blogging to say not much at all, when I have work to be done? Won't work in this scenario. All are poor uses of my time. (I sound like my second grade teacher, Sister Anne Mary! God Bless her!)

Does it help others? Is it a spiritual exercise? Probably not. Still. I'm posting here at 9:00 pm while I watch Project Runway. I won't be able to do that every night, but I also don't want to fall asleep on the couch at 9 every night. I should go to BED if I'm sleepy. Or stand up and go get a photo album organized for 20 minutes. No time wasting! I like it. Yesterday (Ash Wed.) and today, at work, with my plan in place, I got a lot done. Hoping the momentum will continue. It might be a little thin around here until Chocolate Day Easter, but I won't completely disappear. I would be interested in hearing if you have any Lent traditions or goals.

Butternut Squash Soup could cure a lot of ill in this world

Anyone out there have a fantastic recipe for butternut squash soup? Please send it my way. I just finished a lovely bowl of it at Atlanta Bread Company, which admittedly included a hunk of sourdough bread (not a loaf bowl -- I still have SOME dieting scruples), and probably also a lot of cream and salt. But it was sweet and thick and delicious, and I need to know how to make it myself during these cold winter days.

Winter seems different this year, yes? Sooooo cold! I know a lot of the country has had it worse than us. We've had it great, actually -- all of the "pretty" and none of the "power outage/no school for days on end" nonsense. Our snow was sticky and wet, perfect for the Georgia kids to actually get to build a snowman. For two days, us parents motivated ourselves to take them outside because we knew we had to -- kids need the chance to do this, at least once in their lives. So we did it, with all the subsequent shedding of wet clothing in laundry rooms. And just like that, it's gone again. Still cold today, but the sidewalks and trees look like nothing ever happened.

I love watching the Olympics, especially when it feels outside the same way it looks on the TV. Brrrr! Bring me my blanket and a cup of cocoa (who says "cup of cocoa?") -- and turn on the Men's Half-Pipe. Oh, okay, Figure Skating (who am I kidding). I do laugh, however, at the Visa commercial -- they're giving away tickets to the Winter Games "For The Rest of Your LIFE." Ummmm.... a chance to go stand in a crowd, 30 rows back, on a snowy hillside every year? In various Arctic locales? Doesn't sound like something I'm that keen on winning. You keep those tickets, Morgan Freeman. I will take my 40-inch HD view and Bob Costas' goofy fireside interludes any day.

Quick posty before worky

So much to doooooo! So much to doooooo! I miss blogging with purpose. That is, blogging other than just to "say hi" or record events for posterity. I remember when I used to actually WRITE here.

Oh well. Blog Guilt-Free! Moving on: I woke up today with 2 things to look forward to: lunch with 2 coworkers at a Mexican place (yum), and my parents' arrival tonight (and probably dinner out, as well). Yay! They're coming for KT's birthday weekend! She's TWO! So hard to believe, but on the other hand, a lot has happened in those 2 years, and she did say this morning, "I wannna wear Pink Dress," so she must be two, because babies can't say such adorable, grown-up things. Also, I would like to go shopping nowkthanks.

We're doing pink and yellow for the family-only party, due to KT's wish for a Sponge Bob cake. Perils of having an older brother, I guess. She is super excited about her "Bir-day com-eenup."

I feel like AJ has been getting ignored by me lately. I know it isn't true, and that 2 years ago I wailed things like, "When will he EVAR learn to play by himself so I don't have to entertain him?!?" I guess that's what has happened, Thank Heavens, and I'm certain I can look forward to more loosening of those apron strings as time continues to go by. But my Mom-guilt won't let it happen without saying something: I hope I pay enough attention to him. His Dad was army-volunteered to assistant coach T-ball this year, so that's some good father-son time he'll get, at least. DH said he really loves that they can sometimes hang out and just talk "like two dudes hanging out." I melted when he said that.

I think AJ's also getting taller. Finally! I mean, he's still a tiny little dude, but he's definitely growing some.

So, happy Valentine's weekend, and Birday weekend for us, and stay warm out there!

I'm stuck on water-related posts

Last night we had a chat about travel. We don't do a lot of it, unless it involves grandparents and kids. We drive to one of their houses, or meet them in Destin or DisneyWorld -- and that has been the extent of our vacationing since 2005. I've been absolutely cool with that. Traveling costs money, and requires taking time off work, and we haven't had a lot of either one to spare.

HOWEVER! Guess what is coming up in 2011? Our tenth anniversary. Here at the office, we've been doing some promos about a cruise, and my friend is going to Sandals in Jamaica next month, and my other friend is taking a honeymoon cruise this Valentine's weekend.

It's still a long way off, but we've always thought we should "do something fancy" for our 10th. We might be willing to try a cruise, although I'm hesitant about the size of the cabins and the motion-sick-inducing ocean. So if not that, it's going to be an all-inclusive somewhere, and I already can't wait. Granted, we beach-it every summer for a week, but not just the two of us. Not where we can lay on the sand and fall asleep, and then swim over to the pool-bar and get another daquiri. And GOOD LORD, SLEEP IN. And have Brunch.

Both Tess and Jess have mentioned having PLANS to look forward to, and I'm very excited to be joining them.

I'm posting it here to force it to come true. Because certain people hold me to the things I post here. For instance, last night DH rolled up his pants legs and GOT INTO THE BATH to wash the kids' hair. And lo, they laughed. Hmph.

And the devil will drag you under...?*

Do your kids have trouble getting their hair washed? Man alive, mine do. AJ has never liked baths -- not since his very first washcloth bath in the hospital, I don't think. Not when we got him home and carefully laid him in a terrycloth-lined baby tub, with honey scented Baby Wash and adorable towels that matched his very own bathroom decor. Not as he got older and learned to splash. He has always been too concerned that his head was getting wet, or his eyes, or any part of his face.

It has finally gotten a little better for him in the last year (he's now 5 and a half), and it's partly because he's such a good big brother. He lets KT dump water on his head, actually. It mostly rolls off the front -- I guess the way his hair is cut allows for that -- and thank God, because if it gets in his face he STILL says, "GET ME A TOWEL. TOWEL, MOMMY, I NEEDATOWEL." And he means a dry one. Only a dry towel will do. He won't wipe even one drop of water with his own hands, because they're wet and I guess that doesn't make sense to him.

KT hasn't been quite that severe about her displeasure in the bath, but it seems like when it comes to the washing-hair portion of our program, she always cries. I obviously use tear-free shampoo, and I try to be so careful. I ask them to lean their heads back (using a cup to rinse the shampoo out). I put my hand at the top of their foreheads to stop any drips from entering the facial region. I attempt not to get any water in their ears. AJ requires a (dry) towel over his eyes during the rinsing, and I comply with that.

I just don't understand what is the BIG DEAL? It's warm water, right? I would think it feels nice. They're not drowning in the ocean depths. I have tried singing, being silly, letting them "practice" on a toy/doll, letting them do it themselves... anything I could think of short of getting in the tub with them, which is NOT going to happen. My Mom used to lay us on the countertop with our heads hanging over the kitchen sink. Just like being at a salon. AJ likes that, but KT, so far, freaks out at the upside-down sensation.

So I need some parental advice. I'm wayyyy too late asking about this, but I'm finally tired enough of the bathtime drama, and some of our friends with 4-year-olds report their kids taking their own SHOWERS! I can't even fathom (heh). Before *I* drown, throw me a life-raft. Help!


*One of the boat songs I sometimes sing them in the bath is "Sit Down, You're Rocking the Boat," from Guys & Dolls. It's fun, useful (Sit Down), and I happen to know all the words. "Dreamed last night I was on the boat to heaven... And the people all said sit down, sit down you're rocking the boat.... And the devil will drag you under by the sharp lapels of your checkered coat! Sitdown sitdown sitdown sitdown, sit down you're rocking the boat." Maybe it's that one line that's scaring them??

Being Carried

The food doesn't have to be gourmet. No one's wondering if you used shredded Kraft versus a fancy Brie... they're eating.

The house doesn't have to be spotless. No one's inspecting every corner of yours... they're grateful to be out of their own for a few hours.

The back door doesn't have to be wiped down. No one's looking at the door... they're looking at your face as they walk in.

The house doesn't need redecorating or renovating, even if theirs have been. No one's coming to see your interior walls or your cabinets... they're coming to see each other.

I am so blessed and honored to have known these women this long. THIRTEEN years! What an amazing thing. A "club." Almost like when we were little girls, but better. Every time, I fuss and worry that my hostessing won't be good enough, but it is always fine, always complimented.

I adore my book club friends. I hope they all know that, and I'm not just writing it because they might come read me here today (*waving* Hi, S, G, M!). I may not be their "call on the phone every week" kind of friend (although I'd like that), but these dear friendships are absolutely carrying me through my adult life. They are hugely important to me. They are, I think and pray, for life.

7 Quick Takes for Friday

I have a grand desire to sit in this text box and type, type, typetypetype... all day, even, to make up for not recording the things that have happened in the past week, but even I don't like reading marathon posts. (I find that I skim down to the bottom, read the last few paragraphs, and then skim upward... until I HAVE read the entire thing, even though I didn't want to.)

This is too long already. Here, quick takes:

1. AJ. Reading silently, by himself! He got a Magic Tree House book from the library on Tuesday, read it during Library and after-school care, and by the time I picked him up he had finished SIX chapters! I was floored. He buckled himself in and read it some more during our drive back to the house. An entire new world has just presented itself. I am so excited, and thinking about The Bobbsey Twins (one of my first beloved book series) and other favorites. Must research! Also very glad to have an alternative to the Nintendo DS, although his prowess there is fairly impressive as well. Man, it's wild as kids get older and learn things.

2. KT. Potty training begins soon, I think. No other way to say this, but she is interested in doing her business there, as well as reading "Dora's Potty Book" every night. There is a tiny light at the end of the Huggies tunnel!

3. Date night. We're going to attempt, for the 3rd or 4th time, to see Avatar in 3D IMAX tonight. It was sold out during the holidays, so I'm getting tickets today at noon for the 7 pm showing. Fingers crossed.

4. When the Internet is down, it is difficult to do one's job as a web content manager.

5. I am pretty sad for Conan. I know that seems stupid, but when he was awarded the Tonight Show after all those many years of Leno, I was so relieved. And now they're giving it right back to Leno?? Ugh. The only good thing about Leno's show is when he interviews stupid Americans on the street. Conan's funny just standing there. His beady little eyes? Weird hair? LOVE. Not to mention Andy Richter.

6. DH was the parenting star last night with a disciplinary idea. AJ was sent home with a behavior report from Art class. Who knows why, but he was "cutting erasers off the pencils" in that classroom. ?! No idea. DH suggested that we make him use his allowance to buy new pencils for the Art teacher. Rock Solid. I am going with it. To Target we go.

7. Getting philosophical here at the end, last Sunday during Mass the thing I thought about most was wanting to feel God's presence more in my daily life. Specifically, I prayed to feel "carried" by God. For some reason those were the words. I don't want to feel like I'm slogging through each day. Picking up my feet in heavy boots, plodding over wet grass and stressful tasks. I want to be carried. Perhaps that makes me weak, but aren't we supposed to be, anyway? I already know that it happens -- for instance, this week with the Internet down at the office, I had to work from home 2 days. That allowed me to do some things (like prep for DH's birthday yesterday, and get posterboard for a school project for AJ) that I wouldn't have been able to do otherwise. So I know God's carrying me -- I just want it to feel tangible. So I'm working on that.

More Quick Takes at www.conversiondiary.com. Happy Friday!

Bored? At least you're not grouchy...

I am bored AND grouchy for a variety of reasons.

• My office building has put new hand soap in the dispensers in the restroom, and it stinks. One of the things I liked a lot about this job when I first started was its nice-smelling restroom soap. I know that seems silly, but when I smell strawberries it makes me less grumpy than when I smell the industrial "eau d'employees must wash hands before returning to work." Blech.


• I have a new cube neighbor. She is a friend, but her job requires her to be on the phone all the time and it's jarring, after having 6 or 7 months of quiet. She keeps her Blackberry at the desk, so when it rings (all the time) and she has stepped away for lunch HOUR, I hear the Island Shimmy. She also, EVIDENTLY, likes Corn Nuts (see: Loud).


• I want to be on a health kick, but I'm sick of health kicks. Bor-ing. I would also like to eat pepperoni pizza at least twice a week. Easy, and not boring. I would also like a glass of wine with that because I like the taste of wine.


• I am working on this project and have lost that healthy perpsective I hoped to have about it. WHO CARES? Apparently I do. Dammit.


• The news is depressing. I wanted to talk about the Golden Globes this week. I also have a coworker from Haiti and don't feel I will ever be able to do enough for her and her family (who are safe, but have lost everything).


• Why is everyone else cheery today?


• I went to Costco and was happier for a half hour, retail therapy you know, but I still need to go to the regular store. We have Taquitos and boneless chicken breasts at home.


• I knew blogging would make me feel a bit better, but it didn't finish my work for me. Rats.

Smileflakes

What makes Southerners so crazy about snow is the rarity of actually getting it. Yes, it's a crazy associated with our inabiliy to drive and our Worrying about Bread! And Toilet Paper!

But more than that we go a little nuts because when it begins falling, the little kid in all of us comes out, and -- as I just witnessed at the shopping center and the drive-thru -- we can't help smiling at each other.

A small wonderment, to be sure.

Here's one of the "laughable" work things

I'm part of a project team at work that received this instruction in an email recently:

"I'd like to ask the teams to critically reconsider the objectives and add until you think they cover your whole subject. The following criteria might help you:
- the objective is strategic (3-4 year scope)
- the objective is not country-specific
- the objective does not contain a measure
- the objective doesn't contain an initiative
- the objectives cover the 4 perspectives (financial, customer, process, innovation)."

HA!!! Ridiculous. Belongs here.

Whereas before, an assignment like this would kind-of stress me out, I'm trying to just put it in perspective. I'll do my part, yes, but not get flustered trying to over-work or perfect it. Because who cares!?

My 2009

It's been great reading everyone's Old Year recaps and New Year's resolutions. The Sundry meme is always a good template to organize those thoughts. I did it last year. It's too long, though, so I'm skipping the stupid questions this time.

I did have the glass of wine (and a half), and as I begin this, am cozied up in the covers at 10 p.m. I rarely bring my laptop to the bedroom, but we have a new laptop now taking the main station in our kitchen/den (thank you, Santa!), so I'm thinking the iBook G4, in its old age, will serve well here for reading and writing before bedtime.

Anyway, here goes.

1. What did you do in 2009 that you’d never done before? I started a new job. I've done that before, but never with this company. Lots of the new things I did this year were related to this job (which still feels new). Other new things: Traveled with two kids and both sets of grandparents to DisneyWorld (awesome); watched my first-born start Kindergarten, bought school uniforms, made school lunches), went to T-ball games, and rocked a Magazine Drive.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? Ugh. Is it funny to talk about failure on the heatlh/fitness resolution? No....? Darn. I exercised a bit more faithfully in '09 than in '08, thanks to the new job -- they had a lunch-hour walking program when I first started -- but it fizzled. See also: Various excuses. I received a Wii Fit+ for Christmas, and DH joined a 24-hour gym, so I'm hopeful there'll be some activity in this department. But frankly, I'm sick to death of making it a "resolution," and even reading of other people making it a resolution. It just needs to be a part of daily life, something that we Do, not something that we Start and Stop doing.

DH and I also hope to organize, declutter quite a bit, and PAINT this year.

4. Did anyone close to you die? DH's paternal grandmother died right before Christmas. We weren't close to her, but the times I'd met her I thought she was a really fun lady. I regret that we never visited her with our kids before she died.

6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009? Last year I said: Muscle tone in my abs, and lower cholesterol. (Um, no.) A pain-free back. (Check!) My side of the bed to myself. (Check!) In 2010, let's see... a fresh coat of paint on the den walls. New boots. New bath towels in at least one bathroom. A chair for our kitchen desk. It's the little things. And maybe that muscle tone, too.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Making dinnertime slightly more bearable. It seems small, but has made a big difference. Dessert happens on Mondays and Fridays only, and everyone gets dessert regardless of how much they ate at dinner. We're still fighting a few dinnertime battles (don't tip your chair back, don't play with your food), but infinitely fewer than before.

9. What was your biggest failure? Unsure if I want to quantify any "biggest" failure. Let's not get so negative. I'm trying to enjoy a little wine buzz, yanno?

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? I was ill when things in my former job started going all screwy and desperate. I was injured somewhat when, during Christmas break, my neck and shoulders seized up and wouldn't relax for a week or so (was it viral or muscular? hard to tell...) And how about this, I was ill when my coworker injured herself and worked from home for 8 weeks, because she shifted a lot of her busywork to me. Rrrrr.

11. What was the best thing you bought? iPhones.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? My parents' and DH's parents'. Each set has come up to stay with AJ as we navigate the novelty of a school calendar and random days off for "teacher inservice" and "fall parent-teacher conferences." AJ's behavior, for trying something new (T-ball) and doing his very best. KT's, because she's awfully cute. ;)

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? My own, on several occasions.

14. Where did most of your money go? We had quite a bit of car repair and maintenance going on this year. Thank goodness we paid the loan off in May, or even more would have gone to the "car" column.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? DisneyWorld and staying at the Animal Kingdom Lodge. Battlestar Gallactica. iPhones.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? Happier. No, really. Last year this time I was commuting an hour each way, every day, and not enjoying the work, either. This year, 6 miles. Better work. WOOT!
b) thinner or fatter? Fricking same. Same, same, same.
c) richer or poorer? Overall, richer, I think. But not much.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of? date night

19. What do you wish you’d done less of? Spanking. I mean, we don't Spank as in, "I'm getting the belt," but what I realized, and almost put in the "biggest failure" category, is that I definitely have a tendency to WANT to spank in the heat of a fight with the kids (AJ). I know kids sometimes do need a swat on the butt, but I am never proud of it, I try to avoid it. and the realization really stopped me in my tracks. Hard to admit that here.

22. What was your favorite TV program? Even I am bored by this question. We did start watching a new one, though -- Man vs. Food on the Travel channel. Love!

24. What was the best book you read? The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society. (I also loved Twilight and New Moon, and am not afraid to admit it.)

25. What was your greatest musical discovery? Pandora.com.

26. What did you want and get? Are you still reading this?? The new job, obvs. And Starbucks gift cards for Christmas.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? Worked. And sulked because a coworker forgot. Big, 35-year-old baby.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? More time to spend helping out at AJ's school, thus allowing me to make friends there. The "insta-friends" I was hoping for haven't panned out yet. I know it's early in our career there, but if I were able to go to volunteer in the classroom, the library, etc., I'd be happier with that situation.

35. Who did you miss? Same answer as always - my Sis and MB, and I feel we've talked even less the last few months. And my parents. You know, I think a lot about why we live here instead of there, and wonder -- desperately? hopelessly? -- about who's going to take care of them as they get older, if we're not there. We're not far, but still.

36. Who was the best new person you met? Actually, our new pastor is pretty awesome. :)

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009. I am getting very tired, here. But I wanted to write about something that inspired me recently. I tried to explain it to DH and it didn't come out right. It's the thought that "I am so much more than this job." Even though I'm happy about the job change, and about having a job at all in this recession, I have to work very hard not to identify solely as "Working Mom," emphasis on "Working." But the importance of my life is not wrapped up in this job. I learned this from watching a few (sour, grouchy) new coworkers who ARE solely empowered by their jobs, and also from a recent homily on motherhood. It's not so much that my calling is to motherhood, or that people whose lives don't include children are "less than." Not at all. It's more a realization that the trappings of office work and business are so miniscule that they're almost laughable; and therefore not worth getting stressed out about. Do good work, full stop.

That's it for me on this one. Lots to do in the year twenty-ten, that's for sure. Looking forward to sharing it here!

Beginning

Stopping by... hello... I didn't write a single thing over the holidays. I had an inkling, but instead opted to fully engage in the moments. I truly enjoyed my time off from work and my wonderful family, and kept up somewhat with all of you through the magic of the iPhone.

I hope to stage a cozy meeting in my bed this evening, with a glass of nice wine (or maybe juice, I feel a sore throat coming on) and my laptop, to muse about last year, these last few weeks, and 2010.

Meanwhile, please jump over and visit my darling real-life friend, the simple minded suburbanite. Her blog is new, and fantastic. You will love her.

Three gifts, all wrapped up

Another great weekend, man. I don't know what is different this year, but Operation December-Sans-Stress is really working for me.

Oh wait, I just remembered I'm not having anyone stay at my house this year, for the first time in, let's see... three years?! Instead we're descending upon my Mom, which is probably why she's unusually anxious this year. Sorry, Mom! Transferred all of my angst down to you, I guess.

Anyway, after a late evening -- my friend, her husband, and their 6-week-old stopped by on their way to Florida last night -- I had a lovely realization: I got to spend a grateful few moments holding each of the 3 members of my family yesterday.

AJ and I had gone to Mass together in the morning, and during one part while we adults were kneeling, he cozied up in front of me and let me put my arms around him for several minutes. I was so happy to have a moment to say prayers of gratitude just for him... my little man, my firstborn.

At naptime, KT pulled her usual and wouldn't sleep in the crib in broad daylight, so I sat with her in the rocking chair for an hour or so. I snoozed, too, but just watching her sleep, feeling her little breaths, smelling her hair... I had intended to be finishing up laundry during that time, but on the other hand... no. It was perfect, and such a blessing to just be in that moment.

And then at 10:30 when it was time for bed, having the perfect someone to curl up and get warm with, thankful for each other and our happy little life. :)

Three sweet hugs to cherish, all on one day. Best gifts I'll get this year, I'm certain.

Tough one

As usual, I should be spending my time posting stories to my work websites instead of this one, but eh. It's December 18th. The mind is not jiving with work right now.

Yesterday was our hardest day of the Christmas season so far. Everything piled up to land on that particular Thursday -- KT's classroom party at daycare, for which I had signed up to bring cupcakes, and no, I didn't allow myself to simply purchase them, I wanted to BAKE and FROST and even SPRINKLE ever-so-lovingly... (perhaps stupid?) plus we had to bring a wrapped gift. So that was to start. (And also the night before until 11... cooling, then frosting.)

My day at work started immediately upon arrival, with a "brainstorming" meeting for 2 hours. A "brainstorming" meeting is appropriately named. Everyone's thoughts were thrown into the middle of the room (well, screen, it was a teleconference), and the person taking notes didn't even do so in a linear fashion -- his notes looked like one of those "tag clouds" on purpose. Argh. That set my mind spinning and I could not stop for at least a few hours afterward. I worked through lunch, tried most unsuccessfully to focus until 4:30, and then...

It was the night of AJ's very first school Christmas program. He played a cow. An adorable one if I do say so, and thank the Baby Jesus there was no sewing involved. I zoomed over to school to pick him up from after-care, grabbed KT, who'd bumped her cheek, pulled out a large clump of hair along with her barette, and stained her cute Christmas sweater-dress at the party -- with my chocolate cupcakes! We patronized a drive-thru, stopped at home to potty, costume up, and let the dog out, met DH, and off we went... to "Penance." This, I learned, is the name the parents have given, over the years, to the 2.5-hour festival of song and narration that is the Christmas program.

I've been meaning to go to Penance all Advent, so that worked out. (har)

Naturally the Kindergarteners were the last to perform.

Also, to remind you, 22-month-old kids do not sit well for 2.5 hour festivals of song and narration. Wiggle Worm! At least she was mostly quiet. We did remember the paci (don't judge, we will wean her someday) and a snack-pack of Craisins -- the silver bullet.

It was not that bad, but sadly, I barely saw AJ during his song, and I was so tired by that point I mostly didn't care. I knew he was having fun, plenty of other paparzzi -- I mean, Kindergarten parents -- got photos, and I guess we'll have several years of this ahead of us! We'll sit closer next time, perhaps. Thankfully, there was no obligatory reception afterwards!

It was a long day, but worth it for the check-box in our Family Life category Christmas pageants. Check! Part of what Christmas is all about, indeed. :)

Observations

When I left the office for my lunch hour yesterday, another girl was leaving the building, too, with her Lean Cuisine already heated, fork in one hand. Her purse was slung over one shoulder, and she was eating as she WALKED. Now that's taking it to a new level. I've been guilty many times of eating while driving, eating "on the run," but never literally. Bizarre, no?

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There seems to be an office tradition of giving a Christmas card to every co-worker. So far the ones I've received haven't even been personalized. Not even a "Dear el-e-e." Just signed at the bottom: -Yatt. (Yes, she gave me one!) I find it odd. Sort-of like passing out valentines in the 5th grade. I can't decide if I'll join in or be a rebel.

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God has a sense of humor. There's a new priest at our church, and he's... well, let's just say he's very DELIBERATE (read: slow) about every. single. thing. he. does. His Mass takes at least an hour and a half. I thought, this past week, that SURELY he wouldn't be saying the 5:30 p.m. Sunday "Life Teen" service. Surely someone as Rite and Ritual-oriented would ask not to say the electric guitars and drums "Praise" service (read: surely we wouldn't have to suffer through his slowness). WRONG-O. We've heard him now 3 weeks in a row. I'm learning patience in yet ANOTHER way.

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All the things I was going to put into this post have flitted back out of my mind. Why does that always happen? If I think of them I'll come back to edit. (You: Wowww, thannnnks.)

A girl's best friend.

I can't quite get behind the concept of "trading up," when it comes to wedding jewelry. At least, not within my age group. I do understand the basic idea -- what woman doesn't want a big, sparkly diamond, right? My aunt got a beautiful (2-carat, I think) diamond after about 25 or 30 years of marriage -- I still remember her 1-carat original and it was lovely, but her new one does have a real WOW factor. And after 30 years, she certainly deserves something that nice. But my friend Pam is now wearing a beautiful diamond and sapphire band that her husband gave her on their 10th anniversary. She doesn't wear her original anymore (I don't remember it).

Maybe I'm entirely too sentimental, but we're closing in on 9 years and I simply can't fathom turning my wedding set in, just to have a bigger, fancier, more expensive one. THIS is the ring DH picked out for me all by myself. THIS is the one he took out into the natural light, to make sure it was high enough quality. This is the one he put on my finger when he asked me to marry him. It's the one the priest blessed on our wedding day. It always was my style, and just the right size. Sparkly, noticeable, without being overdone.

What I would prefer after 10 or 20 years, I think, is a right-hand ring. Or an extra band to nestle next to my current one. Like I said, what girl doesn't want more sparkles?? I just can't imagine wanting to give up all the sweet, young history of this particular left-hand diamond. Maybe that will change and I'll get tired of it someday. But I doubt it.

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At AJ's school this week, the Kindergarteners visited Santa's Secret Shop. They were asked to "budget" what they wanted to spend on each family member -- and here, let me just interject that for ME, he budgeted "Less than $1.00" while for his Dad and his uncle both, he decided on "$9.00 and up." He was talking about "Nine hundred for Daddy" so I have a feeling he does not understand the concept of money very well, despite our giving him a small allowance when we remember. Some of the room mothers helped them shop and wrapped things up with nametags. "For Grandmommy, From AJ," for instance. Well, when he got into the car after this big event, he immediately pulled my gift out of his bag. He couldn't wait for me to see it, even though I protested every way I knew how. "It isn't Christmas yet, AJ, Mommy should really wait..." Eventually, though, I couldn't force him to wait, especially when he was so excited. He assured me it was something I needed before Christmas. I was convinced it was an ornament for the tree. What else could it be, for Less than $1?! Also, it was his first solo shopping excursion and he was high with the expectation of giving. (Don't you love that? When you've picked the perfect thing and you KNOW they're going to love it?) So, HE ripped open the bag for me. to reveal what I'm now wearing on my right hand:

(It's adjustable in the back.)
And I'm not ever trading this one, either.

Small Sacred Moment

I've mentioned before that Christmas tree decorating is never as blissful as I think it should be. This year ours seemed stressful even in the planning, because we decided to do it on a weeknight (last Monday), which of course got pushed to Tuesday because of an unexpected Book Club conflict. Add two parts kids -- one who wants to hang all the ornaments right now right now, and the other who wants to just take them all down -- and it's even messier. I did my part by giving DH The Look, after he griped at AJ to not put all the ornaments on the same branch. I didn't like him adding "Grumpy Daddy" feelings to my tree-trimming. Because I am so perfect, myself, (ahem). (Sorry, DH.) It didn't devolve too badly, and we actually got the ornaments hung in under an hour.

But the perfect moment occurred afterwards, during hot chocolate and cookie-time. Since we were all seated at the table, KT assumed it meant we were about to say the blessing like we do at dinner. "Bess-eeen!" she announced. AJ laughed, and I said, "Well, I guess it would be nice to ask God to bless our Christmas..." I didn't expect us to do it, but AJ quickly put his hands together with a "God, please bless our Christmas," and another giggle.

It seemed small and silly to him, but I found a spot of joy in that request. Yes, please bless our Christmas.