Posts I've started but never finished, and other things - 7QT

I still read Conversion Diary's 7 Quick Takes posts, but I obviously don't participate in the link-up anymore since I'm not publicly blogging. Her format fits this time, though -- I've started at least 3 posts recently that never have gotten finished and I just feel like sharing today, random (and whiny) though it may be.

--- 1 ---

Relating to Others. I had some thoughts going on this topic last week, when there were a couple of days where my coworkers and I barely said two words to each other for 8 full hours. Mostly, it's because we all have so much damn work. There's just not any let-up in this company. I don't know if it's the economy, and we're all doing too many jobs because we can't afford to hire more people, or if it's just our weird policies and procedures that have evolved over time, but some days I hate it. I work with nice people... it's just that we don't take the time to talk to each other. Maybe good morning, how was your weekend. MAYBE "come look at this funny YouTube video. Oh, and there were other thoughts included in this about Smart phones, and Facebook, and how they've also ruined us for relating to each other. Example: I NEVER call friends anymore, just to say hi and see how they're doing. I think, "She's too busy," and "I hardly know him/her anymore." Sad. Even my friends who were persistent about calling 3 or 4 years ago (and by persistent, I mean slightly annoying) have stopped altogether, and it turns out I'm kinda sad about it. This world, man. It's a little messed up.

--- 2 ---

Kids' Activities. Good heavens, this move is badly timed. End of school and summer camp haven't even been on my radar, so I'm late, late, late planning them. I think we've figured out most of how they'll spend the summer. MOST. Kate will have three weeks in Florida, thanks to her awesome grandparents (thanks, Grandparents!), and Alex will have two. Then Alex will go to his sleepaway camp for 2 weeks -- ON HIS 10th BIRTHDAY, sob, sob!!! He'll also be going to a Manga/Anime camp at the local university sometime in June, something I know he reeeeeeeally wants to do. I've got my eye on a week of Theater camp for both of them. (Can't help myself!) And for the in-between times, they'll just have to go to their old daycare camp and hopefully get to go on a few field trips. I wanted one of their second cousins to be their nanny for a week or two, and take them to the pool and stuff, but now that our new neighborhood won't have a pool... besides that, I didn't want to tie the girls down. They're 18-19, I doubt they really want to babysit for 5 days straight.

--- 3 ---

Reading. I bought three new books on my Kindle last week and had high hopes for getting back into reading. I've missed it! I haven't read anything in MONTHS, besides my Facebook feed and blogs when I don't feel like working, and magazine articles. I miss books. But with all the packing to do, it's not looking real good for the rest of this spring, either. The books I bought are:

Astonish Me, by Maggie Shipstead -- I know nothing about the author except what I read in the description and the book jacket, last time I was in a bookstore. But it's about the backstage of professional ballet, so I know I'll love it. And it's fiction. Haven't bought fiction in a great while, surprisingly!

Something Other Than God, by Jennifer Fulwiler -- I don't know why I didn't pre-order this first thing, but I didn't. But obviously I love the author, wish I knew her in person, and atheist-to-Catholicism stories are AWESOME. Can't wait to get it next Tuesday.

Five Lessons from the Carmelite Saints that Will Change Your Life, by Connie Rossini -- on Jennifer Fulwiler's recommendation. I think I put it in my Cart at the beginning of Lent when I still thought "Maybe I'll make Lent count."

--- 4 ---

Lent didn't happen much for me. I was very busy TRUSTing God about real estate (side eyes: was I really?), so I didn't concentrate on anything else, prayer-wise. I ate my usual amounts of chips and salsa even though I had wanted to give them up. Bah. Try again next year? Or does Lent even need to be "fruitful?"

--- 5 ---

Webelos Woods campout. Shawn's taking Alex and his den of Webelos to a serious camping event this weekend. I am so impressed with Shawn, first of all. He doesn't even like camping, and yet he's been on 7, I think, campouts in the last 4 years, with a few more on the way. This one, he's kind-of in charge. Being a Leader and all. He's had the extra stress of planning the menu, getting the food itself, coordinating with who has the coolers and other supplies that belong to the Pack, assigning tents and activities to all the campers for his Den.... it's been a lot. He doesn't like this stuff. And yet, he's doing it (is even good at it - he was in Production/Project Management for a while, after all). So this campout is specifically for teaching the kids to DO IT THEMSELVES. They've all been assigned particular duties, and once they get there, the Leaders aren't even supposed to help. Pitching the tent, cooking the food -- all on the kids' shoulders. No help unless there's an emergency. Alex is the "Grubmaster." I'm so excited for the boys. Kids these days need to be allowed to do for themselves! I think it's awesome. (Profound.)

--- 6 ---

and Girls' Weekend! With the two males out of the house, Kate and I... don't have many plans except she's sleeping in my bed with me. :) Hee. I hope we'll go out to a nice dinner together, maybe invite a friend, and we have a birthday party to attend. She willingly told me that the birthday boy "likes" her... and she also likes him... "kind-of, I mean, I don't want to talk about it!" !!! Hee hee. I'm looking forward to our time together, even though we already spend a lot of time together, she and I.

--- 7 ---

Quick Takes are never that quick, actually! Wowee, this seems long. I've just had conversations with our real estate agent and we're getting closer to having things buttoned up. We might not even come out as poor as we originally thought (although summer camps don't help! Geez!) We're trying to coordinate moving times, talking about the final clean-up before we leave... at Easter dinner I said to the kids, "This is the last holiday meal we'll have in this house..." and none of us was very sad, I don't think. Shrug of shoulders. I've had some mixed emotions telling people, but have been trying to think of it as EXPANDING our circle, not moving it altogether from one place to the other. It's all going to be good, because there's a reason for everything. Yes. It is.

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

Calendars and tasks

I'm plowing through articles for work websites. Had to do a big "brain dump" this morning to get all the tasks out of my head, and I think it helped. I set a timer, tuned everything else out, and just typed.

Get the dry cleaning
Drop off the salad for Teacher Appreciation
Pay this bill
Scan that document
Write the behind the scenes article (work)
Fix the product description file
Call about moving truck
Sign kids up for summer camps
etc etc etc

There's a lot to do. The brain dump helps, though. Sometimes I do it on paper but I'm trying to break myself of that habit (again). So once the tasks are in Outlook (my planner of choice), I can schedule them on the Outlook calendar, and then my time is spoken for. Like this:

The theory is, you only have so much time in a day, so prioritize/schedule what fits in the allotted time and plan to do the rest later. I like it. It sometimes even seems like it gives me extra time, because, for instance, writing an email doesn't necessarily take the whole 30 minutes. I just wish I could stick to it.

Oh well, productivity once in a while is better than productivity never. (I think.) And a generally zen "everything is okay, it will all get done when it's supposed to" attutide helps as well.

If you've looked at the time stamp on this post you'll see that I'm supposed to be making website updates (TBCS is a website) right now. Heh. Guess I'll go do that and then I can reward myself with a trip to Target for Kleenex and TP. Woo! Lifestyles of the rich and famous! ;)

Half caffeinated this morning

It's the Monday after an at-home Spring Break, so you can imagine exactly how the kids and I all feel today. (Well, except Alex, who had a field trip. Lucky duck) I've combed through my work emails once or twice, and had one catch-up meeting already -- all without coffee, which I didn't want this morning. I bought cheap Folgers coffee last week in a fit of "we are running out of money" related to the house sale and subsequent purchase... and it's awful. I didn't think I had become such a coffee snob but it turns out I have. If I don't even want ANY coffee you know it's bad. I brought a big glass of ICED TEA from home this morning, a complete sacrilege.

I'm considering Office Coffee for a mid-morning perk-up.

Anyway, work today is going to be horrible, obviously, after a delightfully lazy week. The only thing I had on my agenda, really, was Find us A House. I woke up when the birdies got so loud I couldn't stand it anymore (around 7:30 most days), took showers only when I had to, did yoga in front of my south-facing window every single morning while the kids watched Disney Channel, and barely did a chore. Oh, and we did find a house. (Were you here just for the update?? Hee.)

We looked at quite a few -- the poor kids (mine and the agent's), being dragged around town all week -- and last Wednesday we put an offer on the prettiest house we've seen. That much is true. It is move-in ready, all updated, and very open, bright, and pretty. It's not Edenberry. We're both still crushed over the loss of that one, and we can't deny it. But it's lovely, LOVELY.

4 BR, 3.5 BA, built in 2000, granite kitchen (and bathrooms!), hardwoods downstairs, a rocking-chair front porch, and a big, flat backyard. There's a small office off the master bedroom. Walk-in closets. The only thing we're not getting is a basement/media room, which wasn't one of our original requirements but we came to think of as something we'd like. No matter; we're both somewhat glad of the reason to pare down and simplify, and try to keep it that way. I take it back, there's one other thing it doesn't have: a Swim/Tennis subdivision. However, the next-door neighbor has a pool (score!) and if we get really determined, I've already inquired about the nearby country club, and it's only $40 a month to swim over there. When we thought about it, we realized we only really swam 4-5 times each of the last 2 summers, in our current neighborhood pool. With rainy days and working full-time, it's just not something we're able to spend the whole summer doing -- not like when I was a kid and we swam nearly every day in summer. We (the kids) swim a lot during our annual time in Florida, and at camps, and we'll make it work.

It's slightly farther northwest than our current location, which panicked me late in the night Thursday after we'd already made an offer and nearly signed on the dotted line, but the good thing about this is, it's a better high school district, and full of families. My agent assured me we will love the community up there, including youth activities for our kids based at the H.S., which sounds promising. Lots of people live up there and it's just as "suburbia" as we're used to, with Super Target (upgrade!) and a Publix on either end of our main road. We predict it will add about 10 minutes to commute times, but those still won't involve the interstates which most metro Atlantans can't say.

We got it for an excellent price, exactly what we were comfortable spending.

We are waiting on paperwork now. I'm freaked out about packing/moving/logistics at the moment, because both closings take place on the same day. How to schedule the truck? I have no idea.

Will keep you posted.

Not meant to be, but...

I totally jinxed it. (No I didn't, I don't believe in jinxes. .......but I totally did.)

If it seems too good to be true, it probably is. We KNOW this. We should have known this.

Crushing disappointment.

Big blow.

Don't f*king count your chickens.

Why did we do that?? Let ourselves get emotional?!

Hard to motivate now. I just looked at all the previous listings we've been given to consider, and none of them is as good as that house was. Ugh. Stupid.

Also, the seller is going to get their karma, too. They went w/other offer because those people needed to be out of their house next week (=less risk?). I know because I was in their house that they have a LOT of stuff to get done before next WEEK, and I think they're going to regret it. Not that I wish it on them, but.

Sigh. Just some thoughts going through my head this morning.

Frowny face

They got a better offer.
We even upped ours to more than what was actually comfortable, but it wasn't enough, apparently.

Now YOU'RE riding the roller coaster with us! Sorry to dash your hopes, dear friends/family. We will keep trudging and keep you posted. Sigh.

No jinxies...

We made an offer! We knew from the photos -- we had a good feeling, and the feeling ended up real. It was funny, the FMLS sent us the email about this listing about 4 times, for some reason. We woke up to an insistent FMLS: HERE IS A HOUSE FOR YOU! Thank you, God, for the sign. A big, yellow arrow of sorts. :)

There seemed to be very little wrong with it. One or two little bits of wood rot on the exterior; some fencing that the owner already told our agent they were planning to have fixed (so we wrote that into the offer, of course); but overall everything checked out. It's an upgrade for us without being too much house, and it met most, if not all, of our wish-list items:

• Guest bedroom
• Flatter, smaller yard
• Nice kitchen
• Fenced backyard
• Nice flooring -- (oh, it has the most beautiful wide-plank hardwoods!)
• Decent-sized, equal kid bedrooms with bigger closets than what they have now
• Basement (it's even finished, and fairly nicely, with a full bathroom!)
• Swim/Tennis neighborhood with reasonable dues (we've seen some where the dues are $595 and uhh, no)
• Obviously, price point

I mean, we had to wait for the right day and suffer some disheartening worry in the last 2 weeks, but then God handed us the very thing we were wishing for. (My word through all of this has been TRUST. I haven't always achieved 100% trust, but I've been really trying.)

I mean, not to get ahead of myself -- they haven't accepted the offer yet. They have until 2:00pm today. This market is nuts with the one-day-or-less turnarounds! These people hadn't put the sign in the yard yet! And they're on Spring Break - I'm sure they're feeling shell-shocked, much like we were. My guess is they'll come back wanting to pay less of the closing costs, because who accepts an offer as-is? Nobody.

They decorated to charm me, too. I know the decor doesn't stay, but it had a lot of sweet furniture that was country-chic, but upscale-country, you know? Pottery Barn with purposefully roughed edges, or something. It's hard to describe but it clearly worked. Also, they had a lot of Texas knick-knacks and treasures, so obviously (to those who know I lived there in my childhood, lucky me!) that said "home" to me in a certain way, and made me like them. Apparently they're moving because they've outgrown the space (3 kids), just like we had outgrown ours.

I will update by 2:00! THANK YOU ALL for your prayers and crossed fingers. Really, I felt them. Thank you.

Sherry, I heart you for asking! What's happening...

We're holding our breath is what's happening. We signed the buyers' amendment and agreed to fix a few things. We hope it won't cost us an arm and a leg and I'm relieved that we're finished with the sale -- that document seals the deal, I think (besides the closing, of course).

Today we got a search result that I'm excited about. It's in what appears to be a lovely neighborhood, and looks like it will need some interior paint, but we've gotten pretty good at that! Finished basement, fenced yard, swim/tennis community, closet "systems" in each bedroom... The seller said in the listing that they're putting granite in the kitchen this month. (Saves us the hassle!) As far as I can tell from the photos, it is one of the best options we've seen, so I've already asked to go walk through it at lunch.

Fingers crossed. Trying not to get my hopes up, but you know they're up.

Wishing of another sort

I'm very ready to get back a normal, mundane existence, even though I've hoped and prayed for the events of the last few weeks so long. But I just read Lag Liv's Sunday night post, about her weekly menu and her kids playing outside on the swingset, what she got at Costco and her date night-in with wine and cheese and her husband, and gosh, that all sounds sooooooo nice. So plain-vanilla.

I know we'll get back to that someday. Shawn will mow the (smaller, flatter) lawn on a Saturday and I'll make banana bread or portion out lunch snacks inside while the laundry runs, and while the kids play on their scooters all day, coming in only every few hours to get a drink or a popsicle. I solemnly promise not to say I'm bored with those Saturdays of the future, but to be grateful grateful grateful.

* * * *

For anyone following along with our real estate saga: Friday afternoon the structural engineer told us, "Those are normal cracks, nothing to be concerned about, that'll be $320.00 please." We paid him to put that in writing with his credentials underneath, and then yesterday, before we could hand the letter over.... we got a Termination of Sale notice from our buyers.So our agent went back to the other buyer (we had two offers in the same day, two weeks ago), and thank God they were still interested. We were driving back from Savannah yesterday, but they asked to visit the house again, so Emily had to go over there to make beds and pick up dirty laundry because we had certainly not left the house "show" ready. The horror!! I am glad she's a friend and not just a random agent... I think. I'm glad she's a working mom, anyway.

They sent their offer last night. This roller coaster is full of twists and turns! I am so ready to find our next house. And now the clock is even tighter -- their date was May 12, instead of May 21.

Come on, FMLS, don't fail me now.

This week in buying and selling...

The inspector found issues with our house, which we knew was part of the process, and we knew would not be 100% A-OK, everything looks perfect.... but has been one large cause of our stress this week. Many of the issues are bullsh*tty, I think, like saying "The fire alarm in the downstairs hallway DOESN'T WORK AND NEEDS to be REPAIRED OR REPLACED." Well, no, it doesn't need replacing, jerkface, it probably needs a new battery. I know that it's his job to report everything and to make the buyer BEWARE, but geez. It needs a battery. He commented on everything from foundation to retaining wall to a clogged bathtub drain to possible critters in the attic (also bullsh*t, imho), and can you tell we're feeling defensive about it all?? Urgh. We have to address -- or as our agent says, "get answers about" -- the foundation issues. There's a pretty large crack in the garage floor that I will admit is kinda disconcerting, now that he mentioned it, and I guess our back deck isn't quite level and blah-dee-blah. We're trying to coordinate a meeting with a structural engineer. Joy. I look forward to the day, truly, when all of this is just a bad memory of a tough time. I had a small vision that this is what we'll be doing someday -- looking back and saying, "Yeah, that was awful." [implied: But it's over now and we're much, much happier and better off.]

On the flip side of the coin, I gave up on the house mentioned previously with all of its issues. (Hey, at least our issues were hidden...?) There's another one in that same neighborhood and we're more inclined to like it, now, although I still don't love it. I want to love it. I want to FEEL something. I haven't yet felt anything and it doesn't seem like much new inventory is becoming available. Somehow, me checking my email four hundred times a day isn't making new ones appear. ?!? I know. But it's the first week of Spring, surely there will be something soon. SURELY.

Long story short: The clock's ticking.

The Marietta real estate scene will mostly have to get along without us this weekend, though. We're off to Savannah to visit Shawn's Mom and Dad. His Dad's been ill for what feels like a really long time, and I know his Mom needs a break. I wish we could do more to give her one, but maybe a bit of sunshine in the form of grandchildren will be a help. Maybe I can let her dog out in the mornings this weekend, so she gets to actually sleep in with no interruption.

Under Contract

The short version is: We put the sign in the yard Tuesday afternoon around 3:00. That night and Wednesday, my phone rang off the hook with agents wanting to show the house. By Thursday morning, we had an offer, and ended up signing it -- but not without a lot of finagling all day Thursday.

My stomach was in knots all day. I didn't eat. I don't like talking about money and grown-up stuff (just ask my Dad), let alone all day long. And it was all day, dithering, counter-offering, wondering if Shawn agreed with me on things, texting, calling, plugging numbers into a homemade Excel file I had thrown together to see the ACTUAL costs and gains. (More costs.) So we countered, but knew another offer was coming in, so we sat on it until the last possible moment. The second offer looked better, but was a little more risky because it was based on appraisal. The first buyers then offered us asking price and... it hadn't even been 25 hours but we were more than ready to put the whole thing to bed. And it was an acceptable offer.

We're extremely glad that today we didn't have to leave the house spotless. Messy is much easier.

Closing is set for May 21st so we are heavy into house-hunting today. If you're a pray-er, I would appreciate a thought for good fortune. I am trying real hard to Trust. So far we haven't seen the perfect house. I don't know if there IS a perfect house. I saw a great one yesterday but its issues include:

• wood siding that needs replacing soon
• some house settling that is concerning
• upstairs carpets that need replacing (cats, gross) before move-in
• price is on the high end of our range (but we'd offer less due to all these issues)
• kids' bedrooms on the smaller side

But the positives include:

• big kitchen with updated counters/appliances
• lovely yard with fewer trees than we currently have
• house feels spacious and there are extra rooms, including a finished basement that could easily be both man-cave AND playroom
• it's in a neighborhood we really like

So that's going to be hard. I'm crossing my fingers that this week (first day of spring is Thursday) will see a lot of new inventory and we'll get an alert, go see it, KNOW deep down that this is it, and be able to make an offer.


I've been doing a lot of hippy-dippy visualization to make it so. And straight-up Christian prayers for help and wisdom, too. :)

For Sale

When I thought, just now, that the realtor is there this minute putting her sign in my yard, I got the butterflies.

It's our home, after all.

I've had a lot of "are we doing the right thing?" thoughts this week. People move for a lot of reasons, many of them uncontrollable -- their jobs change, their family needs them "back home," they can't take the winters anymore. Our reasons feel somewhat "first-world" to me -- we want more space (a guest room, maybe an office, maybe a media room, more closet space), our neighborhood has seen some decline. Our house is perfectly adequate. Lovely, even. My heart has felt guilty (of course) about wanting more than I really need.

Yesterday, though, I decided to let that go. Because there's a reason we've been led to do this. There's merit in going after something that will make us happier, no matter if others might call it superficial. Maybe there's a reason we don't even know, but God led us here. He knows we've wondered and wrestled and yes, asked for His help in deciding to move. So it's okay. There's nothing to worry about. Did I tell you that 2 Sundays ago when I was in the throes of this worry, the Gospel reading was, “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink, or about your body, what you will wear...." and "Do not worry about tomorrow; tomorrow will take care of itself." I mean, if I was looking for an answer from God, there it was.

Yesterday, also, when I arrived home with the kids, there was a police car parked directly in front of my house. He was ringing the bell of the (rented) house next door to me (newish neighbors that we've not even really met.). He stayed there on her front porch talking to the lady who lives there for half an hour. Filled out some paperwork in his car. Went back up to the door. A second police car had pulled up as well. My other neighbors and I all peeked out our windows.

No idea what it was about, nor do I care to know. And I realize cop cars can come visiting in any subdivision, any city, any time. It may not have been a sign, but maybe was more confirmation made me feel better. This House is For Sale!

Check this palace out

Entryway

Living room

This was the room that sold us, in 2002, and it was pink then!

Boooooo, cabinets

Here's where we spend 90% of our time (den).

Master.

New pretty bathroom. Note candle-in-hurricane!

Girly bedroom that nurseried my 2 babies! Sniff!

Man, is this bedroom CLEAN. I still can't believe it.

Sleeping 7 hours a night, week 1, and REAL estate update

The sleep experiment went well... I think.

I was taking notes the first few days but that went by the wayside because at the same time I decided to do this, we amped up the house sale prep. I know, I know, it's all I've been talking about for a YEAR, probably. I'm super sick of talking about it. But... it's finally here, so let's diverge from the sleep thing for a moment.

We have a lock-box on our front porch. (I didn't realize realtors just keep a stash of those in their cars. Ours just opened her trunk on Sunday and stuck our key in there, ta-da!) Today -- this minute, in fact, as I type, the realtor and her photographer are headed to our house to take interior photos that will be uploaded to the MLS. OMG! WTF?! I am not succeeding in the avoidance of "being a nervous wreck."

Yesterday we had the carpets steam-cleaned. It's worth grossing you out to tell you that Kate puked on Sunday night around 10:30 pm and did not make it to a receptacle -- after drinking red fruit punch with her dinner. RED. The stain didn't come all the way clean, even after ZeroRez worked on it -- they warned me that stomach acid was sometimes not save-able, and it wasn't. But I took it as a little gift from God that she did it Sunday night, and not Monday night AFTER the scheduled carpet cleaning.

I took the day at home with her (24-hour rule don'tcha know) as another generous gift, and I went ahead and did some "homecaring" even though I was laptopped and supposed to be work-working. My manager, when I emailed to tell her of the sick day, said, "No worries - hope Kate feels better - just tell HR of any PTO (personal time off) you accumulate." And I thought, yes, you know what? I don't need to sit at the kitchen table all day, I have shit to DO. So I took a half-day. GIFT. Just Windexing mirrors and wiping down toilets, but you know, it made a difference.

Last night after the carpets were mostly dried I wandered around fixing every little detail I could think of. I went digging in our basement and found a glass hurricane and a white pillar candle that, with the help of a random silvery napkin tucked around the bottom, miraculously pulled our master bath together. Haha! We have DECOR! I was feeling a little worried there towards 9 pm that things weren't Decorated enough. Some of the homes we've seen have had nothing BUT big decor. These people spend a lot of time and money at Kirkland's, it seems. Me, not so much, but last night, all my existing pretty things, ahoy. I quick-prayed to ask God to help me find do-dads and knick-knacks that I'd hidden away over the years.

Then I stashed the toaster. Fluffed the drapes. Removed my jewelery. Boxed everything I could lay hands on. This morning after the kids left, more of the same, didn't care about getting to work late (and I WAS late).

The selling of a house is no joke, you guys. I had no idea.

I guess it's good I've been getting more than 6 hours of sleep each night or I would be beside myself. That's my basic sleep report. I haven't been on the scale (I just know the sleep thing is going to take 10 pounds right off immediately, LOL) because it's neatly stored at the moment, where no one can see it. I haven't been exercising because at lunch breaks I've been buying fresh (cheap) throw pillows at TJ Maxx. I haven't been sitting on the couch so I don't know if I've been sleepier or less sleepy (although I did manage to stay awake until Midnight this past Saturday so we could watch Gravity). That's a pretty good indication. But I know it's better for me to sleep more. Onward, with week two! Amen and hallelujah.


I hope to show you today's photos soon. Here's the exterior (from last August):

Front, obvs.

Backyard

Side yard

The paperwork is being finished later today/tomorrow, the photos will be back at the same time, the decks are being stained and exterior trim painted Thursday/Friday, and we are GO for LAUNCH. Say a prayer!

P.S. Realtor just called and said inside looks "perfect." Thank God! Eeee!

Weekend Recap

Instead of moaning about all there is still left to do to put the house on the market (and there is), let me detail, for my mood's sake, all that got done this weekend.

• Kate's princess costumes packed away/other junk thrown out
• 3 bins of toys from Alex's closet moved to basement
• All the random wall art removed and to basement
• Decals and posters off Alex's walls
• A box of books donated to charity
• Linen closet cleaned out/re-organized/box of unused linens to basement
• Lots of toys from the living/dining room into a box/to basement
• Threw out the rest of the bath toys, and a big pile of old kid artwork (sorry, kids)
• Cleared off bookshelf downstairs (just a few items left for decorative purposes)
• Removed bookshelf from upstairs landing to basement (thanks, Shawn)
• Shawn filled in the crack in the garage door so we can paint it tonight 

 Plus, the Pinewood Derby, grocery shopping, yard cleaned up, 2 cars washed/cleaned out (thanks, Shawn, again), kids fed and bathed, Jello made for dessert tonight. And I slept 7 hours every night. So.

I think we're shooting for next week, to have a photographer come and then listing it. Aye-yi-yi.

Sleep Experiment

Yesterday, everything was insurmountable (in my mind). The house-prep, the weekend coming up (Pinewood Derby), all the tasks on my to-do list at work, the errands, choir practice, spiritual drought, my diet/exercise failings, my dirty car (kids and their papers!).... all of it. I couldn't focus on any one of those things because together they were ALL weighing me down. I could feel gratitude for my life in general, but no way to move forward and get anything done. I sat here at my computer at work and just wished I could get out of my own head. Sometimes I do wish it would SHUT UP in there. I couldn't start any projects; I couldn't send the emails that needed sending.

I stumbled on this article about sleep. I have read it before -- maybe for work? But this time it hit me: ALL of my problems might be solved if I just made myself get 7 hours of sleep every night. Nearly every one of the signs/symptoms listed there describes me (and the effects). Can't diet successfully? Sleep debt causes weight gain/prevents weight loss. Too tired at night to do anything (like pack up boxes)? You need more sleep. Grouchy and impatient with kids? More sleep. Stressed out? Can't focus at work? SLEEEEEEP. I also happened to see this post yesterday from one of my favorite advisers. Just another way of saying the same things. (hello, God, thanks for the signs)

So, I'm doing a sleep experiment. For a week, I am committing to getting 7 or 7.5 hours every night. (The article says 7.5 is ideal because it's a multiple of 90 minutes, which is a full sleep cycle. But 7 would also be an improvement for me, so I'm allowing that flexibility.) I just want to observe the first week very objectively.

It will mean giving up some of my time in the evenings, I guess. Sit on the couch time. I may never get to finish watching all my shows. I'm trying to decide if that's a bad thing (I already know the answer). But I'm hopeful I'll have more focus for work, more energy to walk or do yoga, more patience, more mental strength not to eat all the cookies, etc. ;)

Last night I got 7.5 hours (minus a few (Alex) wake-ups during a thunderstorm) and I do feel better today, mentally, than I did yesterday. Not that it's a result, yet, but it's a start. I told MB, I'm convinced it's going to fix EVERYTHING. Miraculously.


p.s. I should add that thanks be to God, Kate's not getting up in the night nearly as much as she used to. I do believe that for the first 4 years of her life and into the 5th, she was the main cause of my sleep deprivation. But now it's mainly me. Just not willing to look away from the Idiot Box and go to bed. That's going to have to change.(I also think the kids (and probably Shawn) could benefit from better sleep, but I'm not going to decree anything for them at this point.)

Fruits, vegetables

I need to get more of them. A brilliant idea occurred to me, and was just successful (lunch), and I don't want to forget it for next time.

I had several half-used bags of frozen vegetables in the freezer. Mixed (carrots, peas, corn) and the Seasoning Mix (onions, green peppers, red peppers), mostly. I love casserole-type dishes for lunch, instead of boring sandwiches. So I put about a cup of the veggies into a Tupperware, added 1/2 c. of black beans, and brought one of those Ready-to-Serve Minute Rice Brown Rice cups in my bag. At lunchtime I heated both the rice and vegetables, topped it with S&P and a little green chile pepper Tabasco (my fave).

So yummy and so virtuous. Whole grain! Vegetables! I want this type of thing to be my go-to lunch instead of Lean Pockets.  I could do chicken, low-sodium soy, and broccoli/cauliflower. Smoked turkey sausage, vegetables, and a little BBQ sauce, perhaps. Time to eat more real food and less processed stuff (even though I love a Lean Pocket now and again)! And less deli meat. I am really tired of deli meat sandwiches, plus, I always want chips to go with them.


P.S. I do love PB&J. One day 2 weeks ago when I was making Alex a PB&J for lunch, I made myself one, too. Delish. Funny how you forget. One of my long-ago co-workers used to bring PB&J every day for his lunch, when he was in a financially difficult time. I almost decided then and there to do the same thing, not for financial reasons but for bored-with-my-usual reasons. Almost.

P.S.S. Tomorrow's lunch will be a leftover fajita that I froze last week -- so, green peppers and onions in a whole wheat tortilla, w/chicken. Wholesome again! Win!

Bathrooms before and after (not that amazing because I'm not a photographer, but still)

Here is the kids' bathroom before. I put up that trains-planes-and-trucks border before Alex was born, and never changed it after Kate, because she didn't mind.

And here's how it looks now, in an unassuming neutral (Sherwin-Williams Versatile Grey) with a buyer-friendly seashell theme.

I'll get rid of the kids' blue hamper, obvs.

If you can believe this, I never took a picture of our awful master bath Before. Imagine a jewel-toned  wallpaper border at the top, over a cream colored wall (painted over wallpaper, of course.) Horrible. Why did we leave it that way for twelve years?! The world will never know. Here is a During:

 (At least you can see what [non] color it was...) And here are some Afters:

We used Sherwin-Williams Silverplate in this room and I really like it. Our realtor suggested putting a curtain in front of the stall shower door, which we never would have thought of, but it really finishes things. Go figure. I feel really dumb for not ever considering it before. (There's a garden tub behind that wall on the right but there's nothing decorative there yet. I'm torn about putting new holes in the walls but we'll see.)

Of course for REAL staging, we'll get rid of some of the stuff on the countertop. I like both of the rooms so much more now.

Monday cheerleading

A really good and productive weekend can do wonders for one's mood.

And so can a coat of nail polish. Yesterday afternoon, after I spent much of the day scrubbing bathrooms with my hands submerged in water and Mr. Clean, I was really bummed about the state of my hands. Winter cracking, scraping dried paint drips off tiles and counters, and regular cleaning had definitely gotten the best of them. I was feeling a lot of negative things (I was going to write, "like a failure" but see how I refrained?) because a lot of my school-mom friends had gotten all dressed up this weekend for a big fundraising event and I was not feeling pretty. (I didn't WANT to attend the event, but you know how it is. They were all cute in their Roaring Twenties dresses.)

Life decision: Keep the nails painted as often as possible. It's a small thing that makes me feel a little closer to the "supermom" I'd like to be, and like I'm actually handling stress pretty well.

The weekend was PACKED, but thankfully, packed at home, and not running around town. We had started the bathroom-painting project last Thursday but the guy didn't finish and had to return Saturday, 9am until 5pm. I had promised the kids they could have sleepovers Saturday night and everyone would be arriving around 6pm. !! There was some very fast vacuuming and surface-swiping in the second newly-painted bathroom (naturally, the kids' bath) during that hour!

It all turned out very well, and the bathrooms look great. We've RESOLVED not to let projects like that linger for twelve years, in our next house. Ahem. I will post pictures as soon as I have matching bath mats. They're both very grey-neutral, there are no stinking wallpaper borders and darn if some lovely buyer isn't going to love this house!!

Saturday while waiting for the painter to finish, I also packed away some more books and things. It is going to take a long time but I'm editing and decluttering. Anxious to do more of it, actually. There's a charity clothing pickup this Friday and someone is going to inherit A LOT of baby clothes. A lot of grown-up clothes, too.

And work... Work is probably going to be fine. I've talked myself into feeling more positive this morning, grateful to HAVE A job that pays me well and affords me a painter and new bath mats without a worry. I will plan my daily tasks calendar, I will stand up and take breaks, and I only have two hands - I can only do that much. It is not brain surgery, no one will die if I don't get the websites perfectly updated. Actually, all of Atlanta is looking at the forecasts again (snow, ice, freezing rain) so I expect to have another couple of days of working from my kitchen table this week. No one's taking any chances this time around, thank goodness. So this week shouldn't be nearly as bad as last.

Feeling sorry for myself today

I've been feeling beaten down by work for the last 2 weeks. Under the gun. Under the thumb. All of those things. SO instead of doing something productive like talking to an HR manager, or my actual manager, about it, I'd rather come and whine to my blog. I'm feeling like this is the only person/thing/space I can turn to -- feeling like I don't have any friends who want to support or help me. (Not to mention my manager has been out this week because SHE is "overwhelmed" and also doing the jobs of at least 2 people. So I can't very well complain to her, anyway.)

So just take this whole thing with a grain of salt. We're all busy, I know. Every mom, and every working person, and every first-world whiner in the world could list this much and more.

But I mean, GEEEEEEZZZZZ, my job! I hate all the teeny, ticky things I get asked to do every day in stupid emails. Well, and all the big, glaring projects that I'm also responsible for. Today I had a meeting about one of the websites for which I manage content. "Manage content" used to mean thinking of topics, then assigning stories to our writers, uploading the text, finding a photo, the end. NOW it means all of those things, PLUS deciding which stories will get the most shares, creating and sending an e-newsletter, creating social posts for FB, Twitter, and Pinterest (gotta find BETTER photos), and then managing any comments that come in. And that's just ONE site.

On the other site, I think I've mentioned I'm supposed to "brainstorm" (RAGE/HATE that word) for a concept for the article, write the article, suggest a photo, upload the article, publish the article once the image is ready, share the article, and follow up later. Plus products. Every time there's a new one, add it. Translate it. Link to it. Plus the Store Locator. And god forbid one of our stores has an error in their listing, or aren't "ranked" as highly as another store. I take all those fun phone calls, too, and besides that, manage the excel file and send it twice a month to the programmer to upload it.

On the third site, I have to manage the invitations form; if it's not working I have to investigate why. Manage the schedule of classes. Answer "Why isn't X on the website?" Help people who've forgotten their password. (Seriously?! Since when am I in the IT Help Desk business?) Add news stories. Take off the old news stories. AND strategize how the site is being used and if it helps us meet any KPIs. (Hate those, too.)

Then of course there are analytics. We don't sell anything online but we have to have a REASON for our websites, so that reason is "to build awareness and our database," so I'm supposed to monitor traffic in a meaningful way, set up "conversion events" like signing up for newsletters, and then figure out why people AREN'T signing up for them.

On all three sites.

I write the press releases. I edit the ones that other people write.

Thank the good Lord we only publish a small magazine twice a year, or I would jump off a ledge. I am always asked to suggest content/feature ideas for the next issue, "flesh them out," figure out who'll write them (sometimes me), add sidebars and Drive-to-Web teasers, set deadlines, write or edit the stories, proofread the layouts ... I know this is part of being an editor, and this stuff I do like, but not on top of all the other stuff.

Here are the teeny things:
-"I need a photo of X product, can you send it to me?" (No Soup For You. Find it yourself, is what I'd like to say!)
-This poster's call to action text isn't quite right? Please revise. 
-Can you help me write a letter to X customer? (People can't write their own letters anymore?)
-Can we send an eblast to this group of customers? (on top of all the regular eblasts that I concept, write, send out, monitor opens/clicks)
-React to other people's emergencies.
-Answer every generic email that comes to the "Info@mycompany" inbox, or route it.
-have stupid meetings
-proofread other brochures, just because
-give a shit

Sorry, that last one. But oh my god, this is a job for about four people, not one.

And then I go home and make "something yummy" (Kate hopes) for dinner, and no one will have a glass of wine with me and I'm no fun, I just crash on the couch the minute I sit down.

The Snow that Wrecked Atlanta - January, 2014

It should have been so pretty. We didn't have any snow in 2013, so we were really craving some, I think. And it came down so fast, but still silently, as snow always does, that it could have been really beautiful.

Except that it wasn't, as everyone knew by the evening news.

I just want to record how I felt about it. My own experience, for memory's sake.

We left that Tuesday morning 1/28, thinking nothing of it. Forecasts all said that north of Atlanta, where we live, would get 1" - 3", which is usually an indicator that we'll get less than 1". It was cold, sure, and we bundled the kids up in their coats, but went off to school as usual, confident that, as the forecasters had told us, the snow wouldn't start coming down until around 3 or 4pm.

Well, at 9am the snow started coming down. I was safely ensconced in cubicle-land, prepping for and hosting a small online meeting. I saw out the window that it was snowing (pretty!) but didn't really think it would continue all morning. And my meeting caused some additional drama and stress, and I had some big projects that needed finishing -- a full to-do list -- so I was unable to think about outdoors at all. At one point I remember going into the breakroom and looking down at my car (I'm on the 4th floor) thinking, "It's sticking. The car's actually getting covered up. Huh."

At 12:20, Shawn called me.The school had announced via phone-tree message that they were shutting down at 1:00pm with regular carpool, and all kids should be picked up by 2:00 at the latest. He had volunteered to pick them up, and I was fine with that -- I didn't realize until later HOW glad I was that he had them. So at 12:20 he had already left his office and was in slow traffic -- he told me he could only go about 20 miles an hour and that I'd better leave, too.

I booked it out of there with my laptop, of course, to finish all my work from home that afternoon, and good thing. I think 10 minutes after I left, an intersection near my office, which has a small hill, had iced over and several cars didn't make it up that hill. Meanwhile, traffic on the two roads I needed to drive was at a standstill already. As you've read, ALL the offices in all the towns released their employees right around 12:30 -- sheer coincidence -- and the buses were trying to get kids home and the untreated roads were beginning to get slippery. Recipe for disaster. I felt okay in the beginning -- I could keep my tires in line with the slushy wet tire tracks in front of me and I didn't slip at all. It was just slow going. I turned left without a problem. I noticed I had been on the road an hour, and hadn't gotten very far. Less than a mile, probably.

I had called Shawn and he had the kids but he was also moving verrry slowly around the school (hills), trying to get out to a main road. They were excited about the snow at this point, talking to me from the back seat. We hung up and I was so grateful he had them. Then I did start slipping a little. Crunch, crunch, swivel swivel, and my blood pressure immediately shot up, I could tell. In seconds that seemed like minutes, I remembered, "Don't stand on the brake," which was exactly what I'd been trying to do at first. (My standard excuse is "I learned to drive in Florida!") I pumped the brake and that stopped me, thank God, but that was the beginning of the nerves being on edge. I looked out the window and noticed it was pretty coming down, but was only able to think that for a few seconds before the heightened feelings of worry took over again.

Another hour. I called Shawn again and this time I was kind-of panicked. He had to take me off speaker so the kids wouldn't hear, because I was crying. "I'm just a little scared," I told him. He said to keep calm, just drive carefully in low gear, and that it was going to be fine. I used yoga breathing and prayer to try to calm down, and it worked, mostly.

At several points I had to turn OFF the local news radio, which was making me more nervous than helping. They were trying to report accidents and I knew there HAD to be one in front of me, so I wanted to hear confirmation of that, but they never mentioned Barrett Parkway. They just kept saying my county was one of the worst, and then they'd mention tractor-trailers (semi trucks) turned over, and cars sliding off the road at random, and my heart rate would skyrocket. This happened a couple of times. I was imagining all the terrible things. I would get hot, too, and roll down the windows a bit. I wanted to keep the heat ON to keep the windshield defrosted (the back window was already forming some ice in the center) and I was scared to think, "what if I can't even see out the windows?" On the other side of the median, cars were still driving, albeit very slowly, so I knew the roads weren't completely iced yet. That helped my logical brain. Still, when a car in front of me and one lane over, just randomly starting sliding -- we were stopped -- I panicked again. What IF my car was next?

My hands were shaky and I cried a couple of other times. I also noticed that the other drivers around me WEREN'T panicky. They mostly looked bored, annoyed. I couldn't understand that. I kept thinking, "Why is no one else panicked?" And then since we were going nowhere, I started looking at Facebook. Everyone I knew was stuck somewhere. It was now 3:00 and there were still moms who hadn't gotten to school. (School sent out a message to say, "of course we will keep your kids safe as long as necessary.") Commenting on their scary situations actually helped me focus less on myself.

I also called my mom. She helped keep me calm just by talking and listening to my tale of woe, for half an hour. It helped immensely.

Top of the hour, called Shawn again. I had made it more than halfway to my subdivision and I told him if I got there and the ice was too bad (our s/d is all hills), I was leaving the car wherever I could and walking the half-mile to the house. The kids were being good as gold, he said. He could tell Kate was somewhat scared. They'd both slept a little, too. I couldn't imagine. He, funnily, had had to use his water bottle to relieve himself. I had been worried the kids would need to potty -- thank God, they never did. They'd eaten their school snacks. (Oh, another thing: because my morning at work had been dramatic, I hadn't eaten breakfast, and then I left before lunch. I had a few bites of chicken from my lunch salad on my way home but was basically going through the whole thing on an empty stomach. At one point I found a piece of the kids' Hubba Bubba gum, and ate it like medicine -- I could feel my blood sugar lowering, truly. Felt faint. Gum helped.)

I couldn't believe we had been in the car four hours. We talked about which road Shawn should take and I strongly suggested he stay on a main road, and NOT take the mountain road that was all hills and curves. He thought his new tires could handle it but I didn't want him away from commercial real estate -- if he chose the road I was suggesting, at least there'd be a grocery store and other businesses on the way, just in case. He thankfully agreed. I did see people out of their cars at this point, leaving them and starting to walk. To where, I don't know - the street I was on is pretty residential. Oh, and I was desperately watching my temperature gauge. It was just above halfway from Cold to Hot - no need for panic, but every time I looked at it I was convinced it was edging upwards. (It was fine.)

I was approaching our subdivision entrance and there was a car stopped just before the turn, slowing everything down as people went around it. Finally, finally, I got to turn in, and could go more than 1 mph. I went 5. The street was solidly covered but still had enough new snow on top to give me some traction, and I made it home. My neighbors' kids were already sledding. I made it up the hill in front of our house and down our driveway, into the garage. I couldn't believe that, and as I stopped the car I was seriously shaking, and had to sit a few minutes, cry my last tears, and let the panic shudder out of my whole body.

I know the whole thing sounded strange to everyone at home, but this was what it felt like to me. I went inside, called my mom again, texted my friends who'd sent out "are you okay?" texts, and sat at the front window waiting for Shawn's car. Didn't even take my coat off and I was still so tensed up. I should have probably started shoveling the driveway for Shawn, but couldn't move. When they pulled up, I can't even tell you. I ran to the back door. I couldn't believe the kids weren't climbing up the walls. I couldn't get them hugged enough. We all exclaimed. Alex said, "I don't think I want to go play in the snow right now. I've had about enough of the snow!" Kate couldn't believe it took them SO LONNNNNG to get home.

We spent the rest of the night watching Facebook for friends' reports -- several sat in their cars for 10+ hours, walked a mile or more to their homes, or the homes of friends, some slept at the school with their shaken kids after arriving there at 5:00, 6:00, and some helped strangers along the way. No one we knew got hurt. It was impossible. It was unbelievable. We still both felt high strung at 10 and 11pm.

The rest of the week, we recovered, enjoyed our snow days, and watched the news pound Atlanta government officials and our favorite weathermen for the epic fail. I don't know. Who knows what Mother Nature is ever going to do? There's no way to predict that. Shawn got out to his office on Thursday. The first time I drove again was Friday at 1:00pm and I was actually nervous. Ice was still on the ground in some places and my stomach was preparing for the worst. Post-traumatic, I guess.

What a crazy week. 

(And then yesterday, Sunday, it was 60 degrees and the kids played outside in their flip flops.)