Inside My Mind on a Quiet Sunday

I got myself into a little mental spiral yesterday, after leaving the kiddos at Susan's (MIL) for the week, and having 4+ hours of quiet time in the car trip back home. Here are a few of the things I was mulling over (and over and over and over):

1. When will it be our TURN, to live a more relaxing life? I don't mean winning the lottery  necessarily, or living a life of luxury. Because, as Shawn and I discussed last night, that would only lead to a different set of stresses. And we have a good life already. What I mean is, when will we be able to have a daily round that has more EASE? I feel like this summer has turned out to be very busy and slightly stressful day to day, after a school year which was also busy and stressful. I'd like to have the opportunity to just BE sometimes, and not always DO. To not have a tasks list. I'm grateful for this good life, but, you know?? Do we have to wait until we're retired? That doesn't seem fair.

1a. Am I allowing too many extracurriculars? Would cutting those back help me feel better? I have an opportunity to do so, here with a choir director leaving (again). Perhaps that's the first thing that should go - my choir commitment. And possibly Kate's. That's at least 2 nights of more ease, plus Sundays, so...probably. Yes.

2. Are we providing a good life for our kids? Is this life, which feels stressful to me, also stressful to them? Have they had a good, or a stressful, summer? (If it's been stressful for Alex, I can at least lay some of the blame on high school. He has an unreal list of summer homework and I'm mad about it.) We're doing our best. Is it good enough?

2a. Has leaving them at home alone so much this summer, so we can work, been the right thing to do? Has it made them feel abandoned? Or has it, on the other hand, helped them develop the skills of independence, time management, and self confidence? Taught them the value of hard work (seeing Shawn and I work hard) (and also helping with some chores every day while we're gone - simple things like litter box duty and laundry and loading/unloading the dishwasher)?

3. Do we need to move one grandparent or the other set up here closer to us? Will we, eventually? How will we even do that? How many weekends would it take to clear out and sell Susan's house? Or would she rather stay with her friends down there? I suppose the latter. I guess I started thinking about this because being in her house is so unpleasant, unfortunately. Wouldn't it be nice to get her into a nice, new living situation, for our sakes? 

4. How can we be better at communicating with family? We need to FaceTime with grandparents (and Aunt Jane) (and what about other aunts, uncles, cousins?) more often. We should do it during dinner, once a week, pick someone and call, so we all get to talk with them. Doesn't matter that dinner is supposed to be device-free. This would be better than NOT calling. Susan gave Shawn a little dig about not visiting more than once a year, and it hurt a little. We do the best we can. It goes back to #1, we're just always so busy. Even on weekends. When we do get a 3-day weekend, gosh, sometimes we just need a fricking DAY OFF. And I feel like this is not abnormal -- that every family with kids in school has this same schedule, this same level of busy. But I/we feel bad that we DON'T visit more often. (Nor do we visit Pensacola very often. Or, ever.) And it sucks that we NEVER seem have 2 full weeks -- or even one full week -- left at the end of the calendar year, for holiday trips. Never. We carefully ration our vacation days, and still, we can't get away for holidays in December. Also, we sometimes don't want to travel during the holidays, and then we're made to feel bad about it by some people.

I guess that's enough. My brain is tired. Overall, everything is fine, of course. Exactly as it's meant to be. But I got all thinky, and these are the things that bubbled up to the surface.

June, and now July!

I can't believe it's been so long between blog posts. But A LOT has been happening -- I mean, a LOT. June simply didn't slow down, not even when we ditched the kids at WinShape for 2 weeks. Er, lovingly dropped them off.

Much of my own "busy" was at work. It has just been non-stop. We had a Sales Meeting to prep for and then attend (11-13th, I stayed in a hotel down by the airport). We had an impossible deadline to meet, launching brand-new microsites in 4 different countries. Then they decided to throw in a PR campaign for said websites (2 press releases to write and several meetings to talk about how to manage the PR). More immediate deadlines. Then I don't even know what-all.

It made it a little harder that I had signed Kate up for a day-camp the week of June 18th. Oh, summer day-camps, how I hate thee. It is so unhelpful to have camps that begin at 9:00am and end at 3:00pm. I guess the SAHMs find those times perfect, but not this mom. No offense to the SAHMs. (Dear Kate, I advise you to become a teacher.) I brought her to my office most of those mornings. She was good as gold, actually, and I had worked out some carpools with friends, but it still complicated my week somehow. I also had an offsite, all-day meeting one of those days. WHY!? Gah. Extra shuffle, Shawn took her to work and to camp that day, and Carli helped with some afternoon pickups, too. Oh, also also, one of those days included dentist appointments for both kids, and since Alex had brought home a cold from Winshape, I went ahead and scheduled a doc appt for him, too. WHIMPER. I "worked from home" that day, which I love to do, but... after toting my laptop around town, sneaking in a half-hour here and half-hour there, I was mentally and physically exhausted by Friday. Mostly mentally. Had a touch of a breakdown, in fact, when I hit my head with the vacuum (because why not, let's also vacuum the house before we leave town, we don't have enough to do). It HURT, and I cried.

Thank GOODNESS we left for the beach the next day. And we did nothing, zero, zip, zilch at the beach for a week. It was a memorable year for that reason, and for the kids' parasailing adventure with Papa Joe (poor Alex got sick from the boat on choppy waters), and for the reason of having no extra uncles/cousins/people to entertain. Hooray! I read 3 books: Fates and Furies by Lauren Groff (pretty weird, but interesting enough and well written); New to Me by Linda Sharps (the best! Laugh out loud funny); and then Return to Sullivan's Island by Dorothea Benton Frank (perfect easy (almost wrote 'dumb') beach read with a kind-of surprise ending).

Which brings us to now! This week the kiddos have been at Mom and Dad's for "Camp Grandmommy." And none of us knows what is going on with Kate, but she has called us and cried that she misses us (and she's scared of thunderstorms) nearly every night. WTH?! She's been going to their house since she was four years old with hardly a backward glance. The only thing I can figure is different this year is that she's ten, and maybe has some pre-teen hormones swirling around making her inexplicably weepy. Right? Surely that's it. She was weepy for 3-4 days after we returned from Seattle, too, missing it, overly sad it was over. So that has been weird, but they're having a great time, I think. Playing with the cousins, swimming a bit, shopping, movies, pedal/paddle boats, and today a ferry ride across the bay. I'm so grateful to my Mom and Dad for enduring the moody one, and for hosting/feeding/entertaining both of them.

We pick them up tomorrow, if I can get through one more day at the office. Then a quick weekend -- including Alex's 14th birthday on Sunday (WHUT?!) -- and then back at it.

Next post may just be about the first week of school. Whatever happened to deliciously long summers?? Sigh. These poor kids don't know what they're missing.

Survivors of May; 8th grade Graduation & Lots of Feelings

We did it. We did ALL the things and came out on the other side. Today is finally Kate's last half-day of school, and Alex has been graduated for 3 days and out for a week already, and my stress levels have dialed themselves back to "acceptable," for now. I do still have to get them packed for 2 weeks at camp in the next 8 days, but I think with a credit card that shouldn't be too difficult. (Aside: I know it's fun to have a different costume for every "Nite Life" at camp, Camp People, but I do wish you'd provide a BIN of costumes the kids can pick from once they get there, instead of making ME visit Party City for more junk after I've already spent very-many-hundreds of dollars paying for this camp.)

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That was all I could muster on May 25th; but we also survived the first 4 days of June and got both kiddos dropped off at camp. Hooray, camp!

Let me return to my Feelings from Alex's 8th Grade Graduation. There were a lot of them. On his last day of school, I made sure to have the day off work so I could participate in all the send-off activities, like their "Last Carpool," where the kids decorate the parking lot (read: they TP it gloriously) and parents driving their younger kids to school honnnnnnk their horns and make a giant noise to celebrate -- for a continuous half-hour. Several groups of teachers ride through the carpool line, too, a few times, usually in convertibles, sometimes squirting the lined-up 8th graders with water guns and blaring their radios. It's like the Party version of carpool, for one day. And, oh, it was fun. I was teary-eyed when it started (we had to be there an hour ahead of time), at the sheer celebration of it all. The kids just revel in being the center of attention, and it's such a festive atmosphere, so different from the buttoned-up every day! Afterwards, of course, they have to clean up ALLLL the mess, which they did, quite well, and then they're treated to donuts, they rehearse for Honors Night and Graduation, they have a picnic lunch, and then, the big event: The 8th Grade vs. Teachers Volleyball Game.

I've never known a school to do something like this, but it's huge at our school. They make a big deal leading up to it -- even holding 6 or 8 serious practices for the kids, because the kids MUST WIN. ;) I think the teachers practice, as well. Everyone wears their class shirts (which they decorate or destroy especially for the occasion), there's loud music and an actual game with a ref and coaches and all. Best 2 of 3, and Alex's class won in 2. Alex actually SCORED a point! It was so exciting for our little non-athlete! I didn't cry at this part, too much, until the end if I saw some of the 8th graders crying, which I did. Got a little choked up there.

Finally, on that day, the kids do their Last Walk through the halls, and all the littler kids stand outside their classrooms for high fives. It makes me teary to think about it, but in actual fact it was anti-climactic, I thought.

HOWEVER. Honors Night and Graduation were Extra Climactic. The first kid I saw dressed in a cap and gown nearly knocked me over with emotion, before the graduation Mass started. And it wasn't even my kid! It wasn't even a kid I particularly LIKE! But I've known him since he was 5 years old, and I think that's what undoes me in this whole thing -- it's the fact that these kids have been in my circle and in my heart since most of them were practically babies. We all share them -- we all parent all of them through the 9 years together. So it feels bigger than just one kid leaving the nest -- it's all the ones you've grown to love.

We were super proud of Alex who earned (tied for) the highest GPA in Social Studies, an award for Principal's List all 4 quarters of 8th grade (that's a 93 or above average in every core subject), and the Presidential Academic Award, as well as some other nice honors. And we were so thrilled Mom and Dad could join us. There was lots of talk about high school and where everyone is headed next, there were special songs and slideshows (including baby photos!), the kids had a pool party, Alex and Brandon had a 2-day sleepover while Kate still had to finish her last week (she was not pleased), and gosh, it was all a whirlwind.

I was really glad it finally ended, to be honest -- in the meantime and while all of that was happening, work was also stupid-busy, ugh! But if I think about it, I'm still quite sad that he's finished at St. Joe's. What a wonderful place. I'm glad I still have 4 years with Kate there!

Playlist

"That's My Jam" playlist from WLC Spr18:

-- Peter Warlock: Capriol Suite
-- John Denver: Take Me Home, Country Roads
-- Pharrell Williams: Happy 
-- Justin Timberlake: Can't Stop the Feeling
-- Mumford & Sons: Roll Away Your Stone
-- R.E.M.: Superman
-- Amy Grant: My Jesus, I Love Thee

Good mood music!

May

I said forcefully to Shan the other day, "I REALLY hate May," because of a work project that has been given to us (2 days of videography with breast cancer survivor-models), somewhat out of left field. Or rather, with an unrealistic deadline to get it all up and running on a website. Thankfully, most of the hard work is being outsourced to an agency, but the timing is just terrible. May is always a difficult, overly busy month, and this year even moreso.

But we're through one week already, and it was managed with a flick of the wand and a shared Google calendar, I suppose. Every day I'm grateful for our jobs close to home/school, and for a husband who always does more than his share. Any time I ask him to manage a (forgotten) doctor appointment or an after-school pickup, he says, "Sure." So I'm lucky. When I look at last week, though (and this week), even I'm a little baffled.

Maybe it's my fault for putting everything in the calendar -- Alex's stuff from 3:30-4:45, for example, doesn't affect me at all because I'm still at my office, but if I didn't, I might forget to remind him.

Last week I kept opening that Google screen and thinking, "How are we going to do all this? Just how?" Then I'd feel overwhelmed, add a reminder to my phone, get back to work, and try not to think about it.

But we made it through. Shifted piano lessons to Sunday so we could do the Art Show on Thursday. Handled late drama practices by ... not really cooking much last week (planned not to!). Mom and Dad arrived and, by the weekend, thank heavens, we'd landed at downtime. Saturday and Sunday were both VERY mild and obligation-free, and I appreciated that. I sat outside SO much! This week and weekend won't be quite as easy, but I love a good Drama performance weekend and a cast party. I'm going to insist that Alex go to this one (we skipped the last and did not regret it, but it's his last chance). I want him to soak up everything he can possibly get from SJCS in his last 10 days there.

Historian/diarist-me just wanted to save these two images because they're so crazy and impossible. Right smack in the prime of this life, aren't we? :) Thank you, God, for this good Life.

Silent Inbox, Kindle reading and Bottles of Wine (well, one bottle)

Spent the first hour of my workday wondering why I had so few emails, and no one was checking in on Skype to say hello, and where were all my assignments... and then I realized it's a holiday in Germany and my other counterpart from the UK is traveling today. Yay! Not going to even pretend to complain -- just going to come here and take a little time for myself.

Not sure I reported this here, but I finished the 30-day yoga challenge (yay!! hooray! go me!), then took a week off from waking up at 5:00 a.m. for it. It was a nice week off -- a few of those days, I woke up at 5:30 instead, to do a quick 10-minute stretch, as required by the WLC. Today I backed the alarm up a little more, and did 20 minutes. It's a nice way to start a day and I've gotten used to it. The cats always come with me. Sometimes they scratch up my mat, naughty kitties, but usually we all just purr together in the lamp light, hee-hee, and stretch and be still. 

I needed that stillness today, with the first of two super-busy weeks ahead. The month of May is always super-busy, of course, but this one even more so with Alex graduating. I'm practicing "one thing at a time," though, hoping it will help me not panic. "This moment is perfect, just as it is meant to be..." on repeat. Today is Kate's Battle of the Books at 1:00 p.m. -- she finished her last book yesterday (!!!) at around 3. HA! Talk about procrastinating. She also forgot said book at her friend's house, when she spent the night out Friday. That created a storm of emotion on Saturday late afternoon, when she desperately wanted to read/finish it but I refused to go to B&N and buy her another copy. Instead, I downloaded it from the e-library on my Kindle. Mom Saves The Day! Superhero pose! Cost us nothing! Except... and here is one of those things I shouldn't even record, because it doesn't paint Kate in the best light, but... I'm going to anyway. An e-book was NOT what she wanted. Oh, she spent 20 minutes sobbing and telling me she DIDN'T LIKE books on the Kindle! And she couldn't POSSIBLY read it because it wasn't a book with PAGES and etc. etc. (Overtired from her sleepover, to be sure.) I managed to calm her -- told her that while Daddy and I were out on our anniversary date, we would go look for the book at B&N. And after her tears dried, she did read on the Kindle until we finally got her own book back (well, the school library's copy) from her friend on Sunday morning. And no, we did NOT look for the book for her at B&N -- I told her they didn't have it. (...I think I won this one and I feel pretty good about it.)

What fun, right?! 

Bless her heart. (really. not the Southern meaning.)

One night she and I were talking about emotions, mostly related to a friend of hers who's been extreme-hot or extreme-cold lately, and I told her this may be the beginnings of puberty for her and her friends, with emotions being taken over by biology. She completely took the opportunity to ask, "Well, what HAPPENS during puberty, anyway?" Little extrovert, never too shy for anything. Ha. So I told her the whole thing. Yep, all of it. (Well, we'll still have a little more to discuss about the finer details, pads vs. tampons etc., but there's time.) I am so relieved to have it over with. ;) And next up, this summer, I'm going to give her a copy of Are You There, God, It's Me, Margaret -- maybe on my KINDLE. 

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We had a fantastic anniversary dinner on Saturday night. Treated ourselves to the expensive stuff, at Aspens steak house. Filet mignon for everyone! We also finished a bottle of wine. Been a LONG time since we did that! Reminiscent of our very first date, actually. It was funny, not being able to walk straight when we left the restaurant. ;) And we SO needed to get out and laugh like that. The day to day stuff, 17 years in, sometimes doesn't leave room for enough (wine and) laughter. It's all good stuff, of course, it's a well-oiled machine, but wow, leaving the kids at home and going out is AWESOME. No babysitter, even. We decided 13 and 10 is plenty old enough to manage for 3 hours, with a pizza. And they were totally fine. I see more bottles of wine in Shawn's and my future (at least I hope so). Year 18 is looking pretty good already. 

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I also want to record the nice weather we finally had this weekend, and the good day we had Saturday. Actually, it started with a shopping trip for Alex and me, to bulk up his summer wardrobe a little. We spent exactly one hour inside Belk, which is as long as I predicted he'd be able to stand shopping. Got several polos, though, some dress pants, and nicer shorts he can wear to church when the weather warms up. I have to continue adding for him, so he'll have enough clothes to wear in high school next fall, with no uniform! Eek! 

Afterwards, and after lunch, I planted my annuals. Petunias and marigolds this year, fingers crossed they'll live. It's an act of hope, particularly when I'm involved, to plant. It was a beautiful day; even helped Shawn pick up detritus later as he trimmed trees. Now if we could just get the kids to commit to helping, too, we'd be golden. #Goals.

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This is so long! But Shan is still not here yet and I've received one assignment so far since starting this post, which will take me about 5 minutes and isn't due until Wednesday. Menus! It's been an OK season of the WLC so far. I'm trying my best not to repeat too many meals so the family won't resent me being on the challenge. This week, I'm planning:

Brinner. (last night). I made Pillsbury biscuits for them, with scrambled eggs and turkey sausage and Harvest Apples. In my scrambled eggs, I added stewed tomatoes and onions. The Best way to eat eggs.

M - Tacos. Ground beef, mine in corn tortillas and theirs in (luckies) Doritos taco shells,with black beans as a side dish. I have guac and good salsa and iceberg lettuce, and it will be delicioso, as Dora used to say. 

T - Chicken/Green Beans/Potatoes in a casserole dish with butter and Italian dressing mix. Easy-peasy! 

W - Scheduled leftovers or You're On Your Own (Yoyo). I always have Hot Pockets in the freezer and egg noodles in the pantry, so everyone can find something.

Th - Annual Art Show and then Laredo's for dinner! (Or somewhere else, but I'm not cookin'.) :)

Fr - Burgers, I hope, cooked on the grill and eaten outside on the back porch. If the weather cooperates. 

Boss is here! Better go! "This moment is perfect, just as it is meant to be." 

Dear Alex, on your 8th grade graduation retreat...

The 8th grade graduation celebrations have started. The first is an all-day retreat today, and us parents were asked to send our kids letters. Here's mine. 

Dear Alex,

I'm so glad that I've had lots of opportunities to write to you over the years, mostly via the letters and postcards I've sent to WinShape. It makes this letter-writing a little less daunting. ;)

Today you're at your 8th grade retreat (duh, Mom). It's both unbelievable — it honestly seems like yesterday you started Kindergarten at St. Joseph's with your Batman backpack — and totally believable — sometimes the days have been long, haven't they? Finally, you're about to reach the end of 9 years. And wow, all that you've accomplished in your time there. My heart bursts. Your Faith in Action awards (3!), your amazing report cards every single grading period, your deep friendships, your excellent papers, stories, and essays, Scouting experience and achievements, Math awards and Honors, Battle of the Books awards, AR awards, Drama performances, and JESUS! ;) I'm most proud of that one. AND of your being chosen to do a long reading at your very first Mass in Kindergarten. 

You'll take all of these things, and what you learned from them, with you in the next phase, high school, and even beyond that. You may not realize it, but there are characteristics you've earned by doing, that are now part of who you are and who you will continue to be: dedication, commitment, integrity, friendliness (don't discount that one — it's super important), goodness, humor (I adore your sense of humor and it will take you further than you know, particularly because you know how and when to use it well), easy-going-ness (sorry, I know it's not a word), patience, and pride in yourself. Since you were very little, you've been self-assured. This pleases me to no end, because I don't think I felt self-assurance until much later in my life.

I am so proud of you. The joy you bring to our family is unique. I love you infinity, and I am always, always here for you. Congratulations, and enjoy these last few weeks. 

Love, 
Mom

Spring Break in Seattle

We had a lovely trip to Seattle. For memory's sake:

Wednesday: We arrived so early because we left Atlanta so early! Wakeup time was 2:45 am. (!) Flight took off at 6:15. The airport was a huge part of our excitement, though, since it was the kids' first flight. (not Alex's, but he was 3). They did great in the security check and getting to the gate -- only bad part was not getting any breakfast, but we survived that. Easy flight, if a little long. Kate's device wouldn't download the movie app, so she had to use mine. It was fine though. Landed in Washington around 9:15. First stop, Aunt Jilly's house! To see it, first of all, and to meet our cousin Thomas O'Malley the (alley) cat. ;)

Next, we headed down to the famous Pike Place Farmers' Market, for a delicious chowder lunch and some tourist-level shopping. So fun. In the rain. Afterwards, we stopped at the Starbucks Reserve and Roastary and had a coffee "experience" at the Experience Bar. My drink, a gin-barrel roasted Rwandan cold brew with tonic and lime (!!!) was delicious. We made dinner at home that night, a Sun Basket meal of chili mac with lime yogurt topping and everyone loved it. I'm going to try to recreate it at home one of these days (after May 26 when the WLC ends).

Thursday: Kurt Cobain's memorial park bench on the very anniversary of his death 24 years ago. We didn't quite intend to be there on the exact day, but that's how it worked out. Nearby was a beautiful Japanese Garden that we explored, in the rain. It did rain while we were there! A true Pacific NW week. ;) Lunch was amazing.... lunch was at Din Tai Fung, a Chinese dumpling place. Again, the kids were adventurous (the chili mac the night before was not their usual fare, with quinoa pasta and lots of veggies)... and I was proud of them. We loved it and ate a ton. That afternoon, we toured the Theo chocolate factory. A tad disappointing -- the other time I toured it, we got to walk through the factory itself and even the tasting/confection kitchen. This time not so much. But still, we got good samples and spent lots of dollars in the gift shop! Thursday night we went to a pizza place for dinner. That was a lot of food for one day! We tried watching a movie (Guardians of the Galaxy 2), but none of us could stay awake.

Friday: Bit of a later start, but we were totally fine with that. We took a ferry to Bainbridge Island on the one sunny day of our trip. It was interesting to think that some people take the ferry in to work every day, and home again. Many were eating their home-packed lunches or breakfasts, sleeping, and otherwise bored, while we were taking pictures, exploring the views, and finding it all so interesting. Once we landed, we shopped in the very cute main street area, bought souvenirs, ate ice cream, and enjoyed the weather. (Well, kind-of. Alex was annoyed he'd needed a jacket in the morning, and now he was hot, but knew he'd need it again later on the boat. I agree, that was kind-of tiresome.) Still, an awesome day. Dinner Friday night was.... hm, what was it? Oh yes, Chinook's, a seafood restaurant at Fisherman's Terminal. Delicious. I had salmon tacos. We watched A Man Called Ove.

Saturday: Finished Ove, since some of us had slept again. ;) We had not yet seen the Space Needle, so downtown we went! Got our tickets, spent some time hanging out by the giant fountain while we waited (in the rain), and then went up to the top. Super fun, even if it is under construction until June of this year. We'll just have to go back! After that, the Chihuly Garden and Gallery, which was just the art our eyes and hearts needed in all the grey weather. Loved it. Everyone was hungry so we ate lunch nearby and then home again, home again! Jilly had to sing at Mass, and Kate and I went with her while Shawn did some laundry. For dinner afterwards, we found Bizzaro, a little (really little!) Italian bistro. I loved our conversation that night. Jilly was asking lots of questions about the kids' school. It was yummy and we hated that it was our last meal together!

This update is really bare-bones, despite the large number of words. I just wanted to record some of the details for posterity. :) It felt both really busy/packed, and also relaxed and not stressful. Thanks to Jilly for being the BEST hostess. Kate's probably seriously considering college out there, after we talked about it and UW and Seattle U. Don't know for sure how I feel about that! But I know that parts of all our hearts are still in Seattle, and likely always will be.

Our Spring Break Trip 2018 Begins in 15 Hours...

At 2:45 a.m. tomorrow (tonight) we will get up and dressed, get in the car and drive south for our 4:15 call-time at the airport! Seattle, here we come! Finally! I've been wanting to do this for years. It's going to be SO FUN!


...I don't know that getting up in the dead of night is going to be FUN, exactly, but I'm saying that to keep the positive vibes flowing. But seriously, our flights to/from Seattle are going to be some of the best parts of the trip, according to Kate. First one takes off at 6:15 a.m. and since no one except me has flown on a plane since 2007 (or never, in Kate's case), we're all a bit excited about the experience. (Early morning flights were cheaper and non-stop, so that's why.) We started the packing process last night, which was smart. "Does this need to go in the carry-on?" "No, since that's larger than 3 oz., put it in the checked bag." "Are we checking this bag?" "No, let's carry it on, and then if we arrive at the gate and they're asking people to gate-check bags, we won't have to pay the $25 to check it." "Mommy, can I take this perfume?" "Why do you need perfume? You're TEN. No, that's out." Lots of questions and scurrying around to find quart-sized ziplocs and luggage tags.

But I'm excited that they're excited. It IS kind-of a lot of logistics to get 4 people on a flight. !  Not as easy as traveling solo with just 2 carry-on bags. Papa Joe is here and giving the kids lessons on what happens in the cockpit. I'm trying to explain security as best I can, but really, there's no way to understand it until you do it. I'm grateful, really, that we're going so early in the morning, because I HOPE that will mean the lines aren't quite as long and the crowds not quite as large. We'll see, though.

Once we get to Seattle.... yay!!!! We'll be hanging out with Sissy and her fluffy kitty, Thomas O'Malley, and sightseeing and enjoying a Pacific-Northwest spring (it's forecast to rain every day, woo!). Probably will go to the Space Needle, Pike Place Market, ride the Bainbridge Ferry, and maybe Discovery Park, too. Already booked a tour at the Theo Chocolate Factory in Fremont. :) I've been looking a little bit at visitseattle.org this morning... cutting it close! But also trying to let it be a relaxing vacation, not a sight-seeing extravaganza with every moment planned. I'm hoping for one day that includes brunch out somewhere. I love brunch out.

We're grateful to Mom and Dad who came for Easter, and are staying to kitty-sit! Hee! I do feel a little bad we're going to Seattle without them. But on the other hand, it's good to take family trips, just the four of us, too, and make our own memories. That's what it's all about. Catch you on the flip side!

We love the kitties!

I haven't given much update on the cats! And since they have their own category, I think it is high time to remedy that.

We are LOVING being pet owners again, and these two cats in particular. They are so fuzzy -- I mean, funny -- with two little distinct personalities. Apple is SO "girl," and SO "big sister." She definitely believes she is in charge. She sits so pretty, when she's upright and stately. Most of the time, though, her default position is "cat loaf." Paws tucked under and rounded on top. ;)

And she is indeed rounded. Hee hee. Side note, I just wrote an article for work about body types and swimwear shapes (you know that article, about the pears and the apples, it gets published every year by every women's magazine, ever). She is aptly named. You see, Apple really prefers to eat kitten food, which is higher-calorie than her adult cat food. Anytime she thinks we aren't paying attention, she has a snack from Ash's bowl. I felt like she gained a lot of weight quickly when we first adopted her, which is why now, their dry food bowls get put away after they eat in the morning, before we humans leave the house. I think that's helping. I just don't want her to get toooo fat and happy. But I'm glad she's happy.



Favorite napping spot? Rocking chair in the guest room.
Best trick? Allows us to hold her, for just a minute. Sometimes even snuggles.
Funniest habit? Scratches the wall/door frame after she uses the litter box. (In case any got up there, I guess? It looks like she's torn up the door frame, actually, which is annoying.)
Nicknames? Apple-cat, Apple Jack, Apply-Dapply.

Ash is our little brother kitty. Shawn calls him Loki, the Lord of Mischief. He's harder to catch on camera, but ever so lovey when he's in the mood. When I work from home, he'll walk around on the table in front of my laptop. Classic. He's also SUPER talkative. Meow? Meow. Meow meow. Ash will start a chase any day of the week, you don't even have to ask. He loves to play, and jump on Apple. She tries to ignore him.

He and Alex have a particular friendship and he usually sleeps on Alex's bed during the day, and at night.

Ash will not let us near his paws, so off to the groomer he went last Friday, for a bath and a mani-pedi. ;) He smells so nice now and is so soft! (Apple's up next in a week or so. I couldn't wrangle both of them in one day.)

By far his most noticeable characteristic is that he prefers his water fresh out of the tap, please and thank you. We keep a rubber band around the faucet handle when we're out of the house, because more than once he has turned it on himself!

Favorite napping spot? Alex's bed.
Best trick? Drinking water from the faucet. (Oh, and jumping up to the tippy top of the kitchen cabinets one Friday night late!) (And running down the stairs to crash into the mat by the front door. He's wild! And he has lots of tricks!)
Funniest habit? He watches the birds outside and talks to them, whining that he can't go catch them.
Nicknames? Ashy, Ash-kitty, Buddy

I'm so excited for Mom and Dad to meet them at Easter!

30-Day Yoga Challenge

I decided to try a 30-Day Yoga Challenge, just on my own in between Whole Life Challenges. Those 7 "easy" WLC habits fall away immediately after the thing ends. No stretching or walking or anything. I'm working to NOT do that this time.

I'm using Yoga With Adriene, her Yoga Camp series, because I've heard so much about her online from others, and also hello, she's free. I like her style (now that I've gotten used to it). It's slower-paced yoga than many other videos I see online. At least so far. I'm on Day 5. Patting myself on the back -- not only for sticking to it, but also for starting on a Friday, giving me 4 full days (day off yesterday) before I had to set my alarm for 5:00 am today! But I did it. I decided that's the only time I can do a 30 or 35-minute yoga workout -- before everyone else is awake. Ten minutes after dinner? Sure. No big deal. 30 minutes? Much harder somehow. I try to remind myself that I LIKE yoga, a lot, so waking up for it is NOT actually torture. :) The good news is, we're already going to bed at 9:30 (we're so OLD!), so I'm not losing on sleep.

I'm feeling sore in some places and that is a good thing. Today's theme was 'I am alive.' In case you're curious, I try to also connect the spiritual side of yoga to my OWN spirituality. I do find yoga to be very focused on the inner Me, Me, Me. It has its place; self-awareness and self-compassion are important. But sometimes it gets to be a little too much for what I'm used to. A little too frou-frou, too hippie, too not-Jesus-focused, lol, although I appreciate the ancient tradition and the inclusive language of it all. Without trying to add any Catholic guilt to it (difficult), I try to at least look for my God on my mat. I try to take the calming strategies and the mantras and make them match my own heart and traditions. Don't want to get too deep here on a Tuesday morning at 10:00 am. (wink), and also, let me note that Adriene's style does NOT seem very spiritual, which I like. Sometimes I'm just in it for the workout and the relaxation, you know? In fact, I've only once had an instructor who was overly zealous with the Hindu stuff and the mala beads and the chanting. It did make me uncomfortable. But as far as I'm concerned, you have to find what's true for you, and I'll hold to what's true for me, and let the rest go. I'm not saying I recite the rosary while I stretch. ;) But a lot of Catholic resources online give yoga such a bad rap, and I just don't believe it's bad. I think if you're seeking the Divine, seek it in every instance. (Some websites say yoga is a tool of the devil. I ...strongly disagree. I remembered this morning that the Church also said, at one time, that Judaism was of the devil, and they tried to expel all the Jews from Spain. I just read an excellent book about that. So... they're not always right.)

I like that this is happening. Ignatian Yoga seems perfect. :) Anyway, all this is to say: another reason I'm learning that it's important to do my yoga in the early morning is so that I can find some quiet -- a prayerful moment, maybe -- and really BE in it. Not distracted or interrupted.

Speaking of self-aware: Kate is becoming so. She had a small moment this morning which caused her to wail and gnash teeth, but then she had a bit of applesauce and got over it. As she left for school, tears dried but her cheeks still rosy, I told her how pretty she looked. She came in for a hug and said she was sorry for before. "I think I was just tired." Aww. I think she was hungry, myself, but maybe both. But GOOD WORK, recognizing it was Something and ... well, getting over it.

Because I'd done my yoga I was t o t a l  z e n about the entire episode. ;)

What Time Even Is It?*

Haha, I know what time it is (Monday, 8:35 am). But I do feel a little bit wrecked this morning - I got home from my business trip to Las Vegas at about 11:15 last night. While I was out there, three time zones away from home, we changed to Daylight Savings. So my body clock is probably a little out of whack. Not to mention the fact that I have woken up several times every night since Friday night. Every hour, almost. Even last night in my own bed.

What am I doing at work, then?! You're not the first to ask. I had to get up anyway, to help get the kids off to school, and to SEE them, and Shawn, say hello... so I figured I might as well just go to work. I'm pretty sure I won't be super productive, though.

The trip itself was okay: A conference for nurse navigators in breast centers, with tons of very medical, very data-specific and jargon-filled workshops. I held my own, taking notes, grateful I didn't have any clients to entertain or responsibilities other than listening, but I did have mild existential questions like, "WHAT is God's purpose, actually, in putting me in this particular place today?" Because seriously: I'm not a nurse, I'm not planning to ever BE a nurse... or a doctor or a statistician... it was interesting to think about. I did have one mini-encounter with a speaker whose topic was different from all the rest. He is a brain cancer survivor, and was there to talk about self-compassion and gratitude, and how those tools can help nurses do their jobs better. It was just the topic I've been "studying" via the Happier app since January, and I loved his talk. I took a moment afterwards to thank him and he was very kind and appreciative. Maybe that was my purpose in being there? Maybe he needed to hear Thank You...? It was one of the best moments of the trip. The other was a dinner I had with a coworker and her family (husband, stepdaughter). Really enjoyed them all, particularly the coworker. Finally, the very best moment was my hour-long conversation with Jilly, since I was in her time zone! We were planning our Seattle adventure (more later on that)!

Anyway, instead of feeling grumbly about the fact that I was there, mostly I felt curious about it, and that helped, I think. Oh, I was plenty grumbly on Friday before I left and on my way to the airport, don't worry. Traffic was a nightmare and I just don't like Not Knowing where to go, what to expect. I also hate getting from an airport to a hotel. Just hate that in any city. Don't like taxis. I'm not yet an Uber or Lyft user (but should be). So I'd booked a shuttle in Vegas, which was only $10 and I thought would be a good option. It was a terrible option. I mean, it worked, but it stressed me out. My coworkers asked, "WHY did you do that?" But... I don't like taxis. Especially not at night, especially not by myself. Anyway. That was the hardest thing.

I didn't even touch a slot machine or have a drink in any casino (stayed at Bally's, meeting was in Paris LV). Someday maybe Shawn and I should go to Vegas together, and try to enjoy it. Although neither one of us is very good at parting with our money. ;)

*I find this sentence structure so fascinating. The kids do it. Not sure where it (even) comes from but I loved this article.

Post-Party High

We did it -- invited the new neighbors over for dinner. Yay! I was nervous -- what if they don't like us? -- but as it turns out we share a lot of interests. Shawn and Mr. Neighbor geeked out about Marvel and Star Wars and gadgets, and Mrs. Neighbor and I talked PTA and working motherhood (she's not, now, but is anxious to go back sometime after her Baby #2 arrives this summer - probably working at home, lucky dog). I heard a lot of laughter from the kids, too. And on a related note, their daughter, age 8, taught Kate age 10 to ride a bike this weekend! Ha! So now we're in the market for a used bike for Kate. ;)

I tried to keep dinner simple and not get crazy or stressed, because that's no fun for anyone. And it helped that it was Cleaning Weekend anyway, and we got the downstairs nicely vacuumed and dusted, and rearranged some furniture on Saturday. We had all the laundry finished and folded (thx, Shawn!) at 6:25 pm and they were due to arrive at 6:30! Everything came together beautifully.

For food, I ordered 2 pounds of pulled pork from a BBQ place, and made all the other sides. Hashbrown Casserole in the Crockpot (yum), coleslaw, Jim N Nick's cheddar biscuits, and watermelon. These Strawberry Brownies for dessert (and I resisted eating one).

This meal was not WLC compliant! Nor was my Saturday-night-after-Mass, celebratory-WLC-is-over Mexican food at Huey Luey's! I had a chimichanga of all things (not as satisfying as a cheese enchilada would have been, but they didn't have those), and lots of chips and queso. And a margarita. It was nice to be "off-challenge," and I enjoyed it all. I am trying to be back on track for the work week as much as possible, because I didn't lose many pounds during the challenge, which is a bummer. But I think I've said, my pants fit better and I lost inches. We'll see how well I stick to it in the "off" period. I don't want to lose what little progress I made. Stupid dieting. Why do I love food (read: bread and cheese) so much? And here's a tip from me to you: Staying away from sugar does NOT take away the craving for it. I totally believe in having less sugar/fewer carbs, but I still love/want them. Deprivation has never "cured" me.

The spring weather makes everything seem lighter and happier, too, I think. It's still cold in the mornings/evenings, but this weekend was just lovely in the middle of the day. Birds are singing, sun is shining! That has been so nice, after such a lot of rain  and gray days lately (which I think are set to return this week, boo).

I'm trying NOT to let my mood be swung by a required weekend business trip coming up. It's a trip to Vegas, and actually shouldn't be HARD or anything -- I'm just going to listen, observe, and learn in some conference sessions. I don't necessarily have to shmooze or sell anything, and I can go to my hotel room as soon as I like after the conference ends. But it's over the weekend, and I have to travel there on my own. So funny -- something I used to really want to do, when I was in my twenties, was travel for work by myself. It felt so grown up. I'll have to remember that instead of grumbling about the hassle of it, on Friday. I think the good news is that I get to take 2 days off that next week, to make up for having to work over a weekend. So I need to ask about those -- something else to look forward to. :)

Office update, happy Friday, weekend plans

Today my partner in crime (Shan) is away from the office and I admit I feel a leeeetle isolated. My new office is at the end of a back hallway. Luckily, it has a huge window so I don't feel claustrophobic, just "apart" from whatever's happening over there where everyone else sits. I'm not complaining -- you know I appreciate my moments of solitude. I'll just have to make an effort to get up and go visit people. (And I already have once this morning.)

I do love my new space. Yesterday I rearranged a little, and hung up some stuff. I still want to remove the leftover boxes and extra products that the previous three occupants left in here. There's a ton of it. But I've got my kids' school photos, my Kleenex and hand sanitizer, my little desk fan, and my favorite books from my work collection, so I feel "planted." I would say that I'm working better in the office than in the cube, being more productive than I was before (I have been, I think), but... well, I'm here on Blogger, so I'm not sure how truthful it will sound. ;) 

Anyway, it's Friday and I'm feeling happy. My projects, for the most part, are all waiting for someone else to do their part so I can afford a little personal computing. I'm reading a really interesting book, The Mapmaker's Daughter, set in Spain in the 1400s, and told from the POV of a Jewish woman. I LOVE reading about Judaism. One of my very favorite books was Bee Season, by Myla Goldberg, which went deep into Jewish philosophy and mysticism and was fas.cin.a.ting. This one has also hooked me; even made me look up a map of 15th century Spain this morning -- a country I have never once been interested in learning about. Yay, books! This morning I've also spent more than my fair share of time making a list of things to read next!

We had a "normal" week, with nothing extra. So nice! The kids even had three days in a row of Fun Food, so no lunchboxes to pack. This weekend I/we plan to: 

• Gather up and tag our too-small uniforms, to be sold next week at the Spring Used Uniform Sale. I have SO many. Alex is alllllmost grown out of his pants and I hate to buy him any new ones for $40 apiece. I really hope I can find a few pairs to get him through to the end of his uniformed school days in May! Meanwhile, Kate is growing too, having to buy size 12 shirts in order that they hang nicely over her leggings.
• Windex my bathroom mirror. HOW, I ask you, how does it always get so dirty? I do not spit on it or do chemical experiments in there, I promise. But you would think that I do. Ugh. 
• Hand wash some sweaters of Kate's that have now been sitting in the laundry room for 3 (4?) weeks. Now that it's 80 degrees of course. Ha. Maybe it will stay warm and they will stay clean until next winter. (I'm not going to detail for you every chore I plan to do this weekend, but this one MUST GET DONE and if I write it down maybe it will.) 
• Have at least one long workout or walk. That was my personal goal for the Whole Life Challenge, that I would do more than the required 10 minutes/day, at least once on the weekends. Pretty sure I've accomplished it. I'm so anxious for the Challenge to be over. It's seemed especially hard this last couple of weeks, for some reason. My office is starting a "Biggest Loser" competition on March 1 and I'm really torn about whether or not I want to do it. I do, but I don't. They're going to be doing workouts together 4 days a week, including Zumba, which I've never tried! So that's certainly appealing. But I will have just finished this! Not sure what to do.
• Going to see Black Panther! Don't want to miss out on important pop culture! If it's got Marvel's name on it, we're there. :) 
• Hopefully doing some cooking and baking. Might need to visit Whole Foods at my lunch break to pick up some coconut flour and almond flour, which are surprisingly hard to find at Publix. My sweets cravings are killing me and there are ways around this! I've just been too lazy to get the stuff for it.

New Reliables: Healthy Foods I Love (and Can Prep Ahead)

When I do the WLC, I have to do lots of meal planning and prep. It's something I enjoy doing even off the challenge, so not a huge deal. This round (my third), I've tried a couple of new recipes that have been awesome. In rounds 1 and 2 I relied on an easy tomato soup recipe, as well as butternut squash soup, for packing my lunches (and even some dinners), but I needed to change it up this time and I'm glad I did.

Some things I've discovered:

• This Creamy Crunchy Vinegar Vegetable Slaw. WHO KNEW that homemade mayo would be such a game-changer? But it is, and takes approximately 5 minutes to make. I bought a big bag of pre-shredded cabbage/carrots, added in some raw broccoli, dill relish, and the mayo and vinegar, and MAN, is it delicious! Of course, I'm someone who LOVES dill, and that's a big flavor in this slaw (I even add more fresh dill, since I have some in the fridge leftover from a salmon dinner a week ago). But it is fully satisfying to me. Really goes well with the next one:
• (I've mentioned it here before...) Paleo Pizza Soup. This is heartier than my usual tomato soup, with sausage and pepperoni. Nearly too rich/hearty, if I'm honest. Made a big batch one Sunday -- I added mushrooms, green bell peppers, and olives, which are pizza toppings I NEVER get to have since none of my family likes them -- and have had some really good lunches from it. I sincerely wish I could dunk a garlic breadstick in there, or melt some mozzarella on top! 
• We also had Easy Burrito Bowls one night, and they were my biggest success, WLC family-dinner-wise: Brown and white rice mixed, canned black beans, rotisserie chicken cut into bite size, corn, fire roasted canned tomatoes, cheese which I skipped, guac, sour cream, salsa, jalepenos, cilantro. I could eat it every day, I think. Shawn says not to mess with it by trying to do quinoa instead of rice. So I won't. Might make them again next week, in fact!
• Kate has started wanting Ceasar salads for her lunchbox. I love this idea for her, although I wish she'd let me put some chicken on it for a little protein boost (she does take 2 cheese sticks on salad days). So this weekend I cut up a big ol' gallon Tupperware's worth of romaine. Makes it super-fast in the mornings that she can grab a handful or two and be on her way. Me too! Today I made a salad for myself and had Buffalo Ranch dressing (LOVE that my Kickstart level lets me have Ranch dressing). It's just Ranch with some Frank's Red Hot Sauce mixed in. Added sesame seeds for crunch. Delicious!
• I might as well chronicle another soup we tried here: Hamburger Soup. Next time I might add more Worcestershire and maybe even mustard powder to up the flavor a little.
• Sweet potatoes for breakfast. Nearly forgot about this one, but it's perfectly portable: Peel/dice a couple of sweet potatoes, drizzle w/olive oil and roast in the oven w/salt and pepper on a Sunday. Divide them into your serving-size lunch bowls and store in the fridge. Add a chicken sausage patty on top and you're out the door in 1 minute (if you have a microwave at your office, which I do). Would also be delicious with a fried egg on top if you're eating at home! YUM.

Painted a room! And other good news

Kate's room is painted. I forgot to really take any "befores," and that's too bad, but here is the "after:"

She chose the colors, and she helped us paint. I don't mean just a few minutes' worth, either. She stuck with it. She worked hard. I was really proud of her and tried to ignore my actual feelings when she dripped paint on two places on her carpet. (Resolve to the rescue.) She realized after we put the furniture back in that her existing comforter is a perfect match, and so she let go of wanting a new one. Hooray! It really looks great and opens up her space nicely. Of course, she wants to close that back up by getting a desk for that empty corner behind her. But I'm okay with that. A kid needs a place to put all her stuff, you know? And maybe one day, to do her homework.

Next up is Kate's 10th birthday, next week! TEN! That's a lot of years! Other than the room makeover (which should be enough, imho), she's getting a gymnastics mat (I guess), a camera case for her Instax camera, some junk from Justice (because always), and... plane tickets to Seattle! A little much for a young girl...? PERHAPS. But I guess that ship sailed when we took her to Disneyworld on her 1st birthday, didn't it??? Yes, it did. Of course the tickets are for all of us, not JUST Kate, a trip I've been meaning to take them on for at least 3 years. However, Kate is the one who's been vocal about never being on an airplane, and she is the one who's going to flip out the most when it finally happens. So I'm happy to wrap up the ticket for her as a surprise.

-------

This month, at work, has been bonkers. Starting mid-January, I mean. New VP is already making big changes to the team, including my role. It's the 2nd time this company's changed my role without consulting me first -- well, I suppose they sort-of asked me, on Tuesday, but it was more of a "here's how it's going to be, you're okay with that RIGHT?" Eh. I don't have the time to care, I guess, or the motivation. It's still a job, close to school. The role doesn't change that much, and....

drumroll....

I'm getting an honest-to-God OFFICE.

This is big news!! It's right next-door to Shan's, and away from the constant chatter of the hallways and customer service people (I'll kinda miss the customer service people, actually), and it's got a freaking DOOR. And a huge window looking toward Kennesaw Mountain. I am beyond thrilled. (I only wonder how long they'll let me keep it. I wouldn't put it past anyone to hire some Manager-level person in the next 6 months and kick me right back to cube-land.) For now, BLISS. I move my stuff in tomorrow. :)

I've been joking, this last year, when people ask me, "You work full-time, too? I don't know HOW you do it!" -- side note, it's rare that people say this, but once in a while they do, and I like the validation of it -- anyway, my response is usually (self-deprecating), "Oh, work is where I go to REST." Because it's sort-of true, that work is a bit more restful than Not-Work. I do sit on my butt in front of a computer most days. But 2 things: 1) WHY do I do that to myself, acting in front of people like "it's no big deal, I don't work all that hard," when in actual fact it IS HARD to do all that I do in the time I have?  and 2) when work is MENTALLY stressful, like it has been the last week for me, then I definitely don't get the "rest" I probably need. The last several weekends have been just Go-Go-Go all day Saturday AND Sunday, this coming weekend, too, and I'm super tired of that. Shawn and I never get to just chill out together, sit down and watch a movie, drink wine and talk about random things, and we need to FIX IT immediately. He said so, too. I'm putting it down here for official-ness.

But this is The Life, Grateful for all the #blessed I feel, etc... ;)

Painting a room

Kate has wanted to redecorate her room in the last year or so. Wants it painted, wants a whole bunch of new furniture, and "decor." LOL isn't she cute? ;) Last fall, in desperation for her to stahhhhp bringing it up, we told her we would do it for sure by her birthday. 

Her birthday's in 2 weeks! But no worries, Shawn got most of the room taped off yesterday, amazingly. More impressive, Kate did all the packing up of existing furniture herself -- books off all bookshelves, dresser swiped bare, cabinets cleared, everything in plastic bins -- so that when it's time to move those pieces around, we can do it. I was so proud of her for doing that, and she only once asked me to help her. I brought her a garbage bag and left her to it! Our girl is GROWING UP. 

I remember when my friend Ashley's daughter turned 10, and they redecorated her bedroom to be less pink and princess-y, and more Pottery Barn Pre-teen. I'm excited that we're doing the same for Kate. She wants three walls to be a lovely teal, and one accent wall to be a lavender, I think. I hope it turns out lovely. (I'm unsure about the accent wall, to be honest, but I'm letting her decide.) 

I know it's going to make me/us want to do MORE painting, which is good. We promised ourselves we would not wait until the 12th year, like we did in our last house, before making it the way we want it! (Or even before doing any touch-up paint.) Of course, in our last house we were raising babies and toddlers, and time/motivation was much more difficult to come by. 

I was just sure we wouldn't have time THIS weekend, actually. We had so much going on. Basketball, drama, a classmate's birthday party thrown in for good measure, and the usual groceries/laundry/cleaning. But we -- SHAWN, all Shawn -- got it done. Thank you, DH, for being awesome and making our young lady very happy. :)

More Snow Days!

My goodness, this winter! We had another little snow event Tuesday night in the Atlanta metro (2 inches), so now it's Thursday and we're on our 2nd Snow Day. This was already a short week with the MLK holiday (one of my favorites, because it helps soften the blow of the regular routine after the holidays), but now it's been barely a week at all.

I'm not complaining. I like that the city authorities are taking weather seriously, I HATE driving on ice, and I don't mind AT ALL being forced to work from home. However, this time it's so cold that the kids don't even want to go play in it! How about that?! Their teachers are frustrated with the dent in their lesson plans, and therefore sending assignments via email and the school portal, which is helpful. I'm not sure my kids have ever practiced piano 4 days in one week before this. All good things. But I think I'm all done with snow, now, thank you very much Mother Nature, and can we please get on to spring-like temperatures? Kthanks. (It's supposed to be 61 degrees by Sunday, ha!)

One of the articles I worked on yesterday afternoon somehow was not on my computer this morning. I don't have a clue what happened, and luckily I was able to recreate the work, but argh, that's annoying.

We've met our Unicorn (VP of Marketing). Finally! It's been a year and a half without a boss. We started calling her "The Unicorn" during the hiring search, because it seemed like we would never find this special person with all the perfect qualities and qualifications. I liked her well enough when I met her on Tuesday. Of course there's the cultural difference of personality/tone of voice that kind-of causes everyone to stumble over conversations and squint our eyes, at first, until we get to know her better (she's Danish), but I think she sees our challenges and is here to help us by making good decisions... I hope, too, she'll be able to argue for some additional help within the department -- and she mentioned wanting to reconsider roles/responsibilities, so that might be an improvement. I don't know.... it's possible she'll be my hatchet-man. It's possible she won't.... we're all in a bit of flux until we know what her M.O. is. I'm trying to think positively, be open to her ideas, and not feel defensive if she starts critiquing things. That's part of her job, I guess. Just keep my head down and do my work until I'm told otherwise. ;) 

Work. Bah. 

On the side, I'm reading Defending Jacob -- it's really good. A courtroom drama. Makes me want to read some of the recent John Grishams. I gave him up after The Firm, I believe, LOL. I'm also trying to gear up for the WLC! Yesterday I made lists, for family meals and for lunches, so that when I'm meal-prepping and shopping this weekend I'll know what to get. I think the first thing I'll make will be gumbo, which is no sacrifice at all (EDIT: Phooey, I guess I can't really make gumbo. I could try to find organic andouille, but there's no getting around the roux. I'm going to call the flour in the roux negligible and anyone who wants to argue with me is welcome to it)! I do love this health plan. Snacks are the hardest part, but there's a Whole Foods near my office now, woo hoo! Game changer.

Nothing to Say? And 2018...

We had an unexpected day off Monday, because of a threat of ice. Nothing at all happened, but it was lovely to work from home. (Except I hadn't brought home my laptop, so I had to drive to the office on Sunday night at 9pm to get it, after we got the school closing announcement. I really must start bringing that thing home every night. You just never know when someone's going to get sick or the weather will threaten. WHY don't I do this already? Because it's heavy.....so lame.)

I find myself wanting to write something, but don't seem to have much to say. I feel like my phone conversations are like that too, lately -- definitely want to talk, to Jill, to Mom and Dad, but don't have much to talk about, except the daily round. The weekend's activities. It's a life of doing, right now, I guess, without time to reflect and create feelings around the to-dos... just to do them and move on to the next ones.

It's good, really, and I do try to make time for introspection -- at my desk before I start really working, and on weekend mornings when I can get outside (where it's quiet) with my coffee and my Calm app/Bible app/journal/brain. But a lot of that time is simply a release -- a moment to be still, grateful, to breathe and let my mind wander -- rather than process big feelings (am I feeling big feelings lately? Not sure). I trust that the self-care of releasing and breathing allows my brain to process what needs processing. I hope so.

But as a result of all that, I feel like my 2018 has started completely Mindlessly. I did a small 2017 review in my pen-and-paper journal, and scribbled out some little, brief ideas about this year's goals:

• professionally -- Grow / Learn from my new Development Action Plan (ugh, terminology) which has me visiting clients (medical professionals) with another team member. To learn about marketing to doctors, essentially. Maybe interesting. And to also get some kind of Content Marketing certification.
• personally -- what areas need refreshing? Fitness, definitely. I've let it slide but I know I feel better when I'm active  -- what do I want to focus on (4-6 things): being PRESENT for both kids and for Shawn. More self-compassion practice. Trip to Seattle. Maybe making up the trip to Disney. Whole Life Challenge/creativity in the kitchen. Back Porch remodel.

And that's as far as I've gotten. Doesn't feel very deep, but maybe it doesn't have to.

Moving on.

This week's menu is pretty decent, in the 2-week build-up to the next Whole Life Challenge... let me share it for your perusal:

Sunday - We had Lag Liv's Mexican Rice, for the 2nd time, and it was well-received again. Yum  yum with Fritos.

Monday - Breaded Chicken Breasts. I used to make this when I was newly married, and I remember thinking it was one of my "fancy" recipes. It sort-of is, but... not really. Served with frozen broccoli and parmesan noodles.

Tuesday - Took the kids to Jason's Deli, where I tried their new Papa Verde Sweet Potato. Oh my! This thing is delicious, people. Totally worth missing out on their awesome Salad Bar to try it.

Wednesday - Chili with rice!

Thursday - Is an eat-out-between-activities night.

Friday - Crock Pot Tortilla Soup. Have made this so many times, even I'm a little tired of it. But no one complains! I'm sure I'll freeze some and then eat it during the Challenge, even though it has beans and corn.

**I've been writing this post for 3 days. Yesterday at work I got nothing done and today has started out similarly, plus a server difficulty that was frustrating, so I've got to get out of blogger and get going. Some days are like that, even in Australia, I guess.

Update: Allergy/Asthma, says the Nurse Practitioner

The best thing about the doctor's appointment was I met with an NP who told me she herself has FOUR cats, and a young son with asthma. So it kept the (dumb) guilt factor out of the conversations. I've heard doctors before say, "When people knowingly have allergies to pets, but they have pets anyway, that's their fault." It may be true, but it's not very nice to say.

Anyway, I'm armed with Singulair, Symbicort, albuterol for emergencies, and an instruction to not let the kitties sleep on my bed (or in my bedroom, probably). She admitted that part would be hard. Last night Ash snuck up onto the bed and I didn't even realize it until I woke up, so... yeah. But we'll get it worked out.

I should have known it would happen, really, but no guilt. The kitty love is worth it.

Allergy / Asthma?

In other news, my allergies might be flaring up.

We went two months with the cats and I had not a single allergy symptom. I was taking Claritin or Sudafed every day and felt absolutely fine, even with them sleeping on my bed, even spending lots of time (as much as possible, really!) petting them, and even allowing myself to deal with the litterboxes (because despite all their promises, the kids don't just "remember" on their own to do it, surprise surprise). (Supposedly there is a lot of histamine in feline urine, and isn't that a pretty sentence?)

Anyway, I was fine. Hooray for cats! I do love cats.

The night that we had snow, our power went out for about 5 hours. Being Christmastime, I had several candles around the house already, and I lit about 6 of them, downstairs. We all kind-of camped on the couch during those hours, with the candles. Sure smelled nice! The kitties did come around, and they curled up on the couch with us for an hour or two. Around 11:00 pm, still in the dark, I noticed I was wheezing a bit. I felt sure, since I'd had no trouble with the cats so far, that all the candles were probably affecting my breathing. (At this point I was a week into taking a generic Zyrtec -- I don't know why I bought it instead of Claritin, but I did.) So I blew most of them out, and the power came back on after a little while longer.

(That day I had also vacuumed downstairs pretty thoroughly, which probably kicked up a lot of dander in the living room and on the couch.)

But my lungs still haven't really recovered. It's been more than 2 weeks and I've been carefully NOT lighting candles, but I've had this tiny little wheeze ever since; if I get to coughing, it gets worse. One night I was miserable, and miraculously found an old Albuterol inhaler, which I used. (I think it was Alex's, actually, from one time he'd been sick as a toddler.) I'm trying NOT to use it, but I've used it more than twice. It helps a little. The wheezing is worse at night.

I'm back on Claritin now and really hope it kicks in. I want to just tough this out and am hopeful it  will go away on its own. But if it doesn't in another week, I guess I'm going to have to see a doctor. (Side note: In my 20s, a primary care doc had diagnosed me with a touch of allergy-related asthma, and given me a prescription for albuterol to keep around, just in case. I had a few attacks of wheezing when I visited friends with cats. But 3 or 4 years ago, a different PCP, whom I didn't particularly like, told me I did NOT have asthma, and she didn't know why that previous doctor thought I did. Hmph. I'd like to go breathe on her now and see what she says.)

Am not happy about all this.

Work break

I'm taking a small break from the product descriptions I'm supposed to be writing, even though I've not made as much progress as I would have liked today. Oh well. It's such a frustrating process:

1. I find the barest of information from our Textiles designers on a server in Germany (thankfully it's in English -- well, Germish).
2. I copy and paste the basics into the Excel template I need to prepare. Easy step.
3. Based on the Textiles info, I then write the Product Description (at least 75 words), taking care to included proper keywords; the Meta title (65 characters); the Meta description (155-320 characters); and 5 bullet points (Unique Selling Points) for each of 50-100 styles per season, once in fall and once in spring. If I'm lucky, I have a set of physical samples of the products that I can look at to ensure accuracy. 
4. If there are any color extensions of previous styles, I have to add those in. Half the time I don't know where to find out. Check for any particular USPs for new colors; edit meta fields to include correct new colors.
5. Do a huge spell check and format the file correctly.
6. Do a huge Find/Replace from US to UK English (I'm supposed to provide the UK version, even though I live in the US, lol. What's worse is that, once it's uploaded to the US site, the person in charge of the US site doesn't ever change those spellings back, so we have "colours" and "favourites" and "accessorise" which makes me crazy.)
7. Send it off to the e-commerce guy, who doesn't even look over it before he uploads it (I assume).
8. (I don't even know how the translation to German, French, Danish, Spanish, Dutch and all the  other languages takes place.)

After that, I hear all kinds of comments about how this or that isn't accurate, or this style has been cancelled, or this new one has been added in, and I take it all personally, even though I've done my very best.

I both love it and hate it. I love it because it's a good lot of work and keeps me busy, and makes me feel like I know things. I hate it because of everything I said above.

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It helped me to type all that out, so thanks for reading or skimming -- or skipping -- it.

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We spent our Christmas in Savannah. Well, just a couple of days of it. Drove down on Saturday morning, and came back Monday (Christmas Day) in the afternoon. I don't know how I feel about it. It was lovely in many ways -- Christmas Eve dinner around Nanny's table was particularly poignant and nice. 

I do love my mom-in-law and I feel bad for her, she's had a really tough run of it lately. Since about 2013 when my FIL got sick, and probably long before that, to be quite honest. She's so kind and sweet and good. She's got some habits that drive Shawn and me both crazy, and, as is usually the case, they seem to be getting worse as she gets older. She needs help around the house and my BIL refuses to help her, though he lives only half an hour away. We feel like he should be at her house at least a few times a month, especially since October 2016 when Hurricane Matthew dropped a tree on her roof. She hasn't lived in her house since then, until just this past weekend, because we were coming to visit. When we arrived, she and the friends she's been living with were in a frenzy of cleaning. Vacuuming, dusting, bathrooms, mopping -- because of course she hadn't gotten around to it yet. We definitely caught them all off-guard by arriving early, and I know she was trying to make it seem like she was ready all along. 

We presume that she wouldn't have moved back at all if we hadn't said we were coming. And maybe that would have been easier for her, but we thought we were doing the right thing, going to see her out of love and respect. You know? We don't want her to feel unloved by us, or lonely. She can't or won't come up to visit us, for some reason. It's really hard to know what to do, and where it's all going to go next. We probably should plan some more weekend trips to help her put things away (including her mother's things, who died this year, another emotional blow) and/or sell/trash other things... but we also have our own lives here, with plenty to keep us busy on weekends, and not a real huge desire to get involved in her mess down there -- it's not much fun. Of course, we're called, I guess, to GET INVOLVED IN THE MESS, as Christians. God got involved in our mess down here on Earth at Christmas, in fact (I learned that from an Advent prayer program, didn't think of it myself. It convicted me a bit, I'll admit!)... but it's hard. I love you, Shawn, and I love your Mom. I want us to do right by her. It's hard to know what to do, though, isn't it? 

The kids had a good time in the two hours we visited with their little cousins. There wasn't enough time to visit with their Gammy, but I know they were happy to see her. And they enjoyed the opening of presents (Santa made it). Shawn said at one particularly frustrating moment, though, that 'we won't be going down there for Christmas again,' and... I was not sad he'd said it. I'm not sure I want to send the kids to her house for a week in the summer, either; I just don't know that she can handle it, or that they would have a good time sitting in her house mostly, with the secondhand smoke. 

So pray for us, that we know the next right thing.

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It helped me to type all that out.

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We have no major plans for New Year's, except that I get to have Jan. 2 and 3 off work. So next week will only be a 2-day week, hooray! I don't mind working THIS week since I get so much of next week off. I mean, I would RATHER be at home enjoying the rest of the holiday, but I'm okay here. 

Better get back to my descriptions so I can get them done before the deadline (Jan 8).

Snow days, Christmas prep and whatever else comes to mind

This time last week, we were anticipating snow, and SNOW it did!

Friday, Dec. 8, 2017 | Early release from school!

In total, we got around 8.5 inches at our house, while the area where we live officially reported 12 inches and I'm not surprised. It was gorgeous, but only because we made it home before the roads turned icy. I was feeling that old post-traumatic stress in the last few miles of our drive home from school, but nothing some hot pizza (thank you, Shawn!) and a little Kahlua in my afternoon iced coffee couldn't cure. I managed no work the rest of the afternoon, although I tried.

Shawn and the kids built a snowman - it was a great wet snow for building and for snowballs - and the power even went out for several hours. I regret that we didn't build a fire in the fireplace (we really need to get it inspected before next time), or make hot cocoa or play board games like the fairy-tale power outage families do, haha. It was around 6:30 pm so we mostly camped on the couch under blankets, listening to a Brian Regan comedy show via Shawn's phone, which still had some battery power. After 2 hours, the lights came back! ...And then went out again. We all slept on the couch with lots of candles burning and kitties purring, until around 11:30 pm. Mama's back was SORE. 

Saturday we cleared the driveway so that we could drive as soon as the roads were safe. Honestly, I was so glad to have another full day of being stuck in the house. After all the busy-ness I've been complaining about, it was good to balance me out. The kids didn't even whine too much ;).

And just like that, it's the middle of December! We're doing okay with our Christmas shopping, although I definitely still have a few things I need to hurry up and buy/wrap/ship. As always. 

We're going to be in Savannah on Christmas Eve/morning, driving back that very day so that I can come back to work on the 26th. Sucks, but eh. I'm off next week instead, the 19-25th, and the week of New Year's, and the quiet at my desk on the 26-39 will be helpful as I try to write a bunch of words for our next fashion collection, due January 12. Every day from now until my vacation, I have lunch plans, so that's fun. ;) 

Here are twelve things I love about this year's Advent/Christmas season:

1. Santa's White Christmas coffee, and coffee coolers (iced coffee)!
2. Our wooden Advent calendar. I didn't get it out last year and I missed it. Found some good candies to fill it with this year, and I have had fun writing up dumb Christmas jokes, too. Even snuck in some spiritual prep for the kids on a few days, like "Be a good elf: See how many people you can help today."
3. The Atlanta Christkindl German Market! I got to go yesterday with my lovely friend Shan, and drink Gluhwein during the workday! Our company's German, after all.
4. Amazon Prime, like everyone else. I do wonder if UPS and the people who work for Amazon logistics hate Christmas, though.
5. TheGrommet.com - found some cute things there!
6. Kitties!! I have a trip to Petsmart on the to-dolist, to buy them stockings and treats! LOL Also, they've not eaten/broken any significant Christmas decor yet.  
7. Being away from choir commitments on Dec. 24-25. It is SUCH a relief that we won't have to be at church all afternoon on the 24th for the children's Mass (Kate's choir), and then me, again, from 10:00 pm until 1:00 am for Midnight Mass! SUCH A RELIEF. 
8. I'll still attend the choir Christmas party, of course, which is this weekend, Shawn. ;) Reminder. The really nice thing is that for once, it is NOT a potluck! The odd thing is we'll have to work around (Edited because I was wrong about the dates.) Alex, who's attending a (co-ed) party of his own peers the same night! 
9. Being Santa. I think we've thought of some good gifts this year. We're taking them all down to Savannah (well, almost all - not the bball goal), kind-of a pain, but as they're getting older it gets somewhat easier. It's true that presents get smaller but more expensive. ;)
10. Anticipating plenty of time off, and baking cookies next week.
11. Anticipating lots of READING under a blanket (loved Pride & Prejudice, btw, and also Longbourn, which I'm reading now).
12. Letting go of the need to send Christmas cards. I mean, I'm still feeling a bit of guilt about it, but not as much I could be. The world will go on without my professional family photograph, carefully selected design and matte finish, rounded-corners card with a Shutterfly logo on the back. I'm sure of that. 

Merry Christmas!

Oh what a ___ morning

Haha. It was like Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day at our house this morning. Only it was Katelyn. First off, I couldn't do her hair right. She washed it last night so it was too clean; wouldn't hold in any kind of a braid, and she wanted French braids which I'm only marginally good at, anyway. After three attempts, I got frustrated and teary, unfortunately, and we had to abandon that enterprise. I know I made her feel bad but I totally didn't mean to. Sorry, Kiddo. Next, we had to give Apple the cat some eye medicine for her conjunctivitis (!). Her ears went back but she let us do it, and that was the least stressful event of the morning. Poor Kate then dumped a full glass of oj on her school uniform, and had to hurry upstairs, breakfast unfinished, to completely change her clothes while we mopped up the mess. Finally, when she was rushing to get into Shawn's car with her heavy as crap backpack, and a big jacket because it's super cold all of a sudden, somehow the door got pretty much slammed on her arm (I'm still not sure I understand how this happened) and she burst into tears.

It was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad morning. My coworker said kate definitely deserved a go-back-to-bed, do-over-tomorrow, and I agree.

I guess we survived. It feels like every day this week has been a little bit nuts. After school, mostly, although there's been some extra stuff during the workdays, too. On Tuesday for example, we had our usual basketball practice at 6 pm, then gymnastics at 7:30, with an Alex-handoff in-between, in the parking lot. This week, there was also a Tuesday Advent supper at the school so I had to remember to bring in my potluck contribution (a salad). Not a big deal and it was nice to have dinner there, instead of fast food. Of course it was raining, so getting from one building to the other was wet and cold. Then at gymnastics, Kate fell a couple of times and wasn't seriously injured, but when she got into the car she had a little meltdown, telling me, "I try to be funny when I fall, but ....it actually really hurt and it still hurts..." and I totally understood that. It's just too much, sometimes, to put on a brave face. I think it's what we do every day -- trying to wear the mask that says, "Yes, I'm handling all these commitments and homework and heavy backpacks" -- and in my case, "Yes, I'm totally capable of working full-time and volunteering at school and driving the kids around everywhere and also trying to make sure they have some fun..." -- but the mask is hiding our truth, which is: OMG, I'M TIRED.

Saturdays/Sundays are no better, usually, with basketball games and necessary shopping and groceries and church and laundry. (Thank you, Shawn, for handling laundry.)

I'm dismayed that Kate at age 9 is already feeling the pinch of trying to "do it all." Although I think without the injuries this Tuesday, she might have been fine. She's tired, though, and it's showing. Both kids have tiny little colds that I'm willing NOT to get worse or spread to the grown ups. She told me she would definitely be going to bed early tonight. I pray she'll honor that, for her own sake.

And I'm looking forward to the time off coming our way in T-minus 12 days!! Jesus, take the wheel.

At last, Pride and Prejudice

For all my big talk about books and love of literature, I've never read Pride and Prejudice! Never! Jane Eyre is my favorite of all time -- I think I've read it 3 times -- but never P&P.

So today I downloaded it to my Kindle. (Hooray for Amazon Classics costing $0.00!)

One reason I chose it is that I just read Anne Tyler's A Spool of Blue Thread, which I thought was a complete waste. Totally disappointing. So I wanted something "meaty." The other reason is that I also saw this book -- Longbourn, the "downstairs" account of the events in P&P -- and that intrigued me! But I won't allow myself to read it until I read the original.

I've had a fun year reading free e-books through my county library. Want the mini-reviews?

1. Time Traveler's Wife - loved it. I had tried to read it several years ago and couldn't get interested, but once I did, I didn't want it to end.
2. Scythe - YA dystopian fiction that Alex chose on a table at the bookstore. Was awesome.
3. Shadow of Lakecrest - chose it because it was on sale for .99, and really liked it. Think about it still.
4. Man Called Ove -- loved, obviously
5. The Heart Goes Last - weird Margaret Atwood. Too weird.
6. Good Harbour - awful, sappy, cheesy annoying "ladies who are friends at the beach" story
7. Hagseed - awesome Margaret Atwood, loved it (from the Hogarth Shakespeare re-imaginings)
8. Life Below Stairs - meh. non-fiction and dry
9. The Goldfinch - I think it's controversial! some people hate it! But i loved it a LOT. Deep and sad and intriguing
10. Code Name Verity - loved it. WWII fiction with female heroes, set it England/France? of course it was good!
11. The Secret History - since I liked The Goldfinch so much I thought surely another Donna Tartt would be good. It was a good story, but not as heart-rending as the other one, I thought. Still, the setting in New England was lovely and the characters... weird and interesting.
12. Station Eleven - kept hearing about it online. It was only OK, I thought. But nice how it had several plotlines that came together in the end. I love when books do that
13. Remarkable Creatures - as much as I adore Tracy Chevalier, I was not planning to like this one. The preview descriptions just did nothing for me. But then I loved it! Read it at the beach, which was perfect.
14. Room - excellent. Disturbing.
15. The Arsonist - meh. just something to tide me over. I think I read the whole thing in 5 hours on the way home from the beach
16. A Game of Thrones - as epic as its reputation on TV. loved it. can't decide, however, if I want to read the rest.
17. Chains - Alex read for school, and recommended. Excellent. 
18. Bridget Jones Mad About the Boy - so nostalgic to go back to Bridget Jonesey. Fun read.
19. High Mtns of Portugal - one of the weirdest stories I've ever read. There were 3 distinct sections, and they came together in the end, but they were all totally bizarre (and sometimes boring)
20. The Glass Castle - already reviewed. Excellent.
21. Wild - loved it
22. In the Unlikely Event - renewed my love of Judy Blume, and a fascinating (based on true) story
23. State of Wonder - only okay. I wanted it to be better. Total bummer of an anticlimactic ending
24. Spool of Blue Thread - disappointing and banal

Pride & Prejudice will be book #25 and might take me through Christmas. I'm pretty impressed with myself - it's the most I've read in a lonnnnng time.

Any recommendations for next year?