Reunion

I think all of my conference calls for this week -- which, no matter how many I do, no matter how chummy I feel with a particular client, always make me stress out just a little bit -- and I feel like I can finally relax a bit. [today's work rant:] I'm grateful for getting to use my mind at my job, and grateful that I'm not at home with AJ right now because we'd be playing Cariboo, I just know it, and I am not sure I can swallow ONE MORE GAME of that game... but sheesh. Other times I really WISH I was doing mindless data entry somewhere, or wiping someone else's kid's behind at a daycare job, instead of figuring percentages of success rates of direct mail campaigns (kill me) or wondering if this client's .asp registration form is going to hook up correctly with to our blah-de-tech-speak server config. [end. rant.]

So, the Hubby's high school reunion, surprisingly, was fun even for me. I don't know if I was just looking forward to a date night, or if being "on his arm," in a new outfit, in downtown beautiful Savannah made me feel loved and happy, but he was proud of me and I was proud of him, and all his classmates seemed to be super-decent people. I felt sorry for the one guy who was clearly the "uncool" kid during high school. He and he wife sort-of stood out from everyone else, a little bit ungainly and odd, and for a while Hubby and I both felt protective of them, like we wanted to make sure people were talking with them. We did for a good long while, and for the most part, other people did too. I worried when they were the first couple to leave, although I remember now they said their 12-year-old daughter was alone at home for the first time; it probably had nothing to do with feeling ignored. They had their own thing going on.

That's really the thing, twenty years after you've graduated -- not that I know, since I still have 5 years until that milestone myself, but my observation was that almost everyone had married and had babies, or else gone on with healthy careers and other friends. Their own lives. Their own stories. Absolutely no need for validation from the 88 folks also occupying the party room. There was less competition and more just... reconnecting on this new, mortgage-carrying, gray-hair-displaying level. I sensed that most people were at peace with who they were then, and who they are now, and who cares about all the other stupid water under the bridge.

DH says he was not "popular" in his class, although he certainly had friends. It was fun to meet someone and immediately ask him, "Okay, who was she in high school? Cheerleader? Nice? Snotty?" Several people, he said, never gave him the time of day back then, but were pretty normal now.

We visited the school, too, which was a trip down memory lane for both of us. Marybeth: Picture a school gym, darkened, bleachers pushed back, dust mop propped over to the side with remnants of spring's last janitorial cleaning -- corner doors ajar because LORDY, it's HOT in the gym when the central AC's not on.... What do you think of?

Summer cheerleading practice, right? Crazy. I walked right into my own life, albeit 2 states and 17 years away. The gym was empty when we arrived but I could almost smell the hairspray we used to wear (Aussie) and hear our coach shouting commands. I guess high school's much the same everywhere.

GratiTude-sday

1. Yesterday at Publix I said, "TO HECK with fat-free creamer," and bought regular, flavored, Cinnamon Hazelnut. I am grateful this morning for that moment of genius. Why fat-free? I am getting fatter right now, as we speak!

2. While at Publix, I became very dismayed that they did not, in fact, carry, mint chocolate chips, so I could not try this incredible-sounding recipe. But my arteries, I think, are quite grateful. And you better believe I will be takin' it to Kroger as soon as possible. I am on a HUNT now.

3. So far, a wee cough in AJ's throat has not blown into something larger, nor gotten him sent home from daycare. I am thankful for that because if he got sent home, I'm not sure what I would DO with him all day; it is too fricking hot to play outside for longer than 45 seconds and you can only take so many Go Fish games before you lose your sanity. I am also thankful that my mother-in-law bought him some Robitussin while we were busy at the reunion picnic last Saturday.

4. Fish tacos for lunch today. As we do every Tuesday. And yet I don't get sick of them.

5. Okay, I know this seems like a REALLY shallow list of things to be grateful for, but I didn't want to bowl y'all over with sappiness, and be 5-bullets thankful for mah growing baby, the size of a lime, and mah perfect husband who's so understanding and patient with my tired and useless self all the time lately, and mah perfect son who this morning, on the way into school, let me carry him and said "Y'know what? ....Ah wuv you, mama." Because that would just be TOO much.

It's fuzzy, but it's still an award!

I am so honored that my friend at 4andcounting passed this lovely award to ME! Li'l ol' me! Thanks so much. (She said I was funny! Hee!) I'm anxious to go visit her other 4 nominees, as well. I like reflecting. In fact, I wish my blog included more of that but it seems the daily stuff is easier to write when you're in a dash, like I usually am.

Like any good blog award, the rules state I am to bestow this gift on 5 more bloggers who are reflective. Or, who make me reflect. Something like that. Happy to! Here they are, in no particular order.

Indigo Girl is a longtime read of mine, and I still love her style. Now SHE can take the "daily stuff" and really make it shine, somehow. I wish I were as good as that, but I think what makes hers good is that it's so perfectly clear and honest. There's nothing fabricated, it doesn't even read like it's "composed;" she just writes what's on her mind. Her third baby is due soon now and I can't wait! She's going to have 2 wonderful little assistants to get her through it. :)

Et-tu, Jen, is becoming one of my daily reads because her perspective as a very new Christian (and former atheist) is quite interesting. Also, I like that she's a regular person who admits her imperfections and laughs about her struggles. If you want a good theology post, read through Jen's archives. She's awesome.

I've always liked poetry, and Sunday School Rebel writes prose the way I like to read poetry. Oh, she writes actual poetry, too, if you're into that. I could read her all day. These days she's reflecting on mothering baby Thomas, who's most assuredly a Keeper.

I'm liking Mighty Maggie lately, too. I found her through Arwen, who deserves a spot on this list, too. Maggie's a new-ish mommy to the adorable Jack, and her Catholic sensibilities are much like mine, I think. I loved the other day, she was talking about indulgences, and quoted her mom as saying the Church takes away all the "funny stuff." Hee. Healthy respect for Tradition, plus a sense of humor: those are the keys to understanding one's own cradle-Catholicism, I think.

If I were a teacher (perish the thought), I would want to be just like Some Pig. She is charming and funny, and uber-smart. And naturally she doesn't take any crap from students. Her song-title posts have been brilliant lately! How does one keep coming up with such cleverness? Me likey. You win.

happy reading! (More on our trip to the Hubby's high school reunion later!) *Dash*

Telling

Something about this 2nd pregnancy has me all juiced up to tell perfect strangers The News. I was in Talbot's the other day, buying what was left useful to me there -- one very wide-bottomed linen tank and one long summer sweater with cap sleeves that I adore -- and upon checkout I just HAD to say that I really loved their pretty fall dresses, and was so sad I couldn't buy one... *low tone:* Since I'm about 12 weeks pregnant...*pretty smile* Of course, you know the ladies who work at Talbot's. She was very congratulatory in a non-emotional, It's A Classic kind of way.

Then when I got my haircut Monday at Great Clips -- desperate as I was, with DH's 20-year high school reunion this weekend and all, and not wanting to look shaggy -- I told the perfect stranger of a "stylist." Because that's just the kind of thing you discuss with your stylist. Juicy, interesting personal news, you know?

So it bugs me that I'm stymied every time I think it's time to tell my manager. Who I talk to every day. Ridiculous.

Fine, then

Bought more itty-boy underwear (SO. CUTE. ON HIS WIDDLE. BODDOM). Target had Diego, which made someone I know VERY happy. They sadly did not have Sponge Bob in his size, however. Also, a decision has been made by me: we will wear underwear in school (and continue doing GREAT! keeping it dry all day). When we get home, we will put on a PullUp, because someone I know still can't fathom pooping in the potty, even though he did it once last week with great success. And someone gets really upset when he has accidents. Small steps are fine with me.

(Part of the reason I'm anxious is SCHOOL, obviously. In the 3-year-old class, they're supposed to be trained, see. It's not just me, hurrying him for the sake of hurrying. But whatever. If he's doing fine AT school, that's all they need to know.)

And that concludes my talking about the potty. I swear.

Let's talk about the POWER of PRETEND. Last night, ohmyheavenlyDAYS we were having an off night about the bath! AJ was not pleased about having to take one. He was fine right up until time to get undressed, then all of a sudden, not pleased. I hate forcing him into the bath, or to do anything, really, when he's having a fit. SO! I took a little lesson from this book*, and probably countless others, and PRETENDED that Miss Green Dolphin, one of our bathtime friends, was hoping AJ would get in the tub and play with her. She whispered to me, about AJ, and I responded to her that "Yes, AJ was kinda sad tonight." When she cooed in her (my) high-pitched little coo-y voice, someone couldn't help but quiet down to see what she was saying about him. Ahhh, I gotcha, kiddo! Miss Dolphin then offered AJ a little kiss on the cheek. He fell all over her! Why, AJ would be HAPPY to bathe you, Miss Green Dolphin! And den we will go wimming, would dat be fun?

And the heavens opened and angels sang, and bathtime was delightful.

*Let me just say for the record that I think the majority of the ideas in this particular book are kiiiinda wacky. However! I bought it during a week of hellish daily tantrums, and if this one gem of an idea has worked one time? Probably worth the $9.99.

Book Seven

Only a few books have made me choke back tears. I mean 4-Kleenex, snuffling and gasping with the weight of sadness and the beauty of great literature. Those have been, in order:

A Wrinkle in Time, when I was 12.

The Sparrow, in 1999.

and Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, July 31, 2007.

(I have ONE more chapter to read this evening -- I'm counting on Caillou to babysit for me while I devour it.) THEN you may comment. :)

Plain vanilla

I cherish our weekends so much, especially the plain-vanilla ones, where we don't have anything too specific planned, and can just wake and enjoy our weekend routine, maybe read every moment we find spare, such as while browning ground beef or when AJ's content to play for FIVE SECONDS by himself, umm... I mean, read a little bit (still Harry Potter), and live this simple family life.

I love the time spent with AJ, too. He is so cute wanting to PLAY --with me-- all the time. He bounces from one thing to another. I don't always WANT to play, but remind myself that playing is his JOB, his only responsibility in the world right now, to learn and explore through imagination and Legos and board games and laughter. (He's fun to play board games with at this stage, because he's not competitive. Whoever wins, he screams with glee, "You WIIIIINNNN!") I sit on the floor with him and TRY to think of plausible dinosaur adventures for Triceratops and T-Rex. I used to think I had a good imagination. (Where does that go when you turn grown-up??) I try not to fall asleep, too.

Oh, AJ does have ONE other responsibility, and that is the potty training. We had an underwear weekend, with I think 2 or 3 accidents, and finally on Sunday evening I admitted defeat and put him in a Pull Up. I'm sure that was A Grave Error and broke the rules of the potty training but I was just tired of it. And I needed some time to wash underwear so he could wear/take it to school today. Krissy Poopyhands saw her boy's 2 accidents as a stunning victory... I must be a glass half-empty kind of girl because each time it frustrates me. He can keep a Pull Up dry ALL DAY: Why is it the moment I put underwear on him, he has an Oops? And WHY, when I ask him nicely or plain tell him, "It's time to potty," does he get so defensive and flat refuse? I know he doesn't do that at school. I guess it's one of those "He loves you/trusts you the most, so he acts out for you" moments. Le Sigh. I know we'll get there. It's just a mental challenge.

Oh, also: Big-boy bed! Still the crib, but the railings are off and he now has sheets and a real pillow and COVERS, which made him jump up and down (on the bed) like he'd won the lottery. I'm pretty excited by the sheets, too, actually. They're a washed denim and really handsome and I NEVER buy new sheets! Fun, fun stuff.

I did some shopping yesterday and it was awesome. Can't beat spending money when you HAVE NO CHOICE... nothing fits anymore. It's officially the awkward, in-between stage where my regular clothes hate me and maternity are still too baggy. So I went to Lane Bryant and to Talbot's where I had a gift card, and was SAD SAD SAD, because they have gorgeous brown madras petite dresses there right now for Fall. GORGEOUS. And I couldn't buy one. But still, I scored with 2 pairs of comfortable shorts and three new tops. Should get me through Hubby's high school reunion next weekend, anyway.

I feel bad for the lack of inspired posts lately (and for all the potty talk). I feel like we're just plodding through the dog-days, though... y'know? It's hot, work's busy, we're all fine, but just... Auto-pilot.

Work things, breakfast, etc.

It has been the busiest week at work so I'm feeling like SURELY I need to be doing one of a thousand work-things right now, but there is a curious lull, and a lack of email this morning, making me think I can stray for just a few minutes to write here. And make myself an egg and some toast.

This pregnancy (I guess) has made me return to breakfast, and decide that it's really the most versatile meal of the day. I've never been one to ADORE eggs and toast, but lately they just SOUND GOOD. As does cereal (Cinnamon Life! Raisin Bran! Honey Bunches of Oats! Rice Krispies!). I thought I had eaten enough cereal as a child to never, ever want it again -- and I haven't eaten it, regularly, in years. But lately it's just another one of so many great options. I'm Mrs. Mary Sunshine about breakfast, and part of it is that I have the ingredients for everything on this list, nearly every day:

• I could have coffee and an english muffin or a bagel. Usually with cream cheese. Tomato if I have it.
• I could have milk and cereal, and orange juice. (no coffee when I eat cereal, though, because I put milk in my coffee and that'd just be an overload)
  
• I could have an egg. Toast. Butter. Apricot jam.
• I could get crazy and have a banana with peanut butter.
• A single-serve cottage cheese. (Love)
• A yogurt smoothie with frozen strawberrries.
• Toast and peanut butter, Sis's favorite.
• Feeling savory? How 'bout an egg burrito? (I always have tortillas and salsa in the fridge.)
• Or I could snag some of AJ's beloved Cinnamon Bun oatmeal.
• Don't forget PANCAKES.
• Blueberry muffins. (there's a ready-made package in the pantry)
• Ooh, what if I made banana bread?? Score.

It lately just blows my mind that there are so many good things! And then I laugh at myself for being such a goof. But anyway, what's your favorite? Indulge me. (Of course I didn't say Eggs Benedict which is the ultimate favorite.... but I don't make that. I want someone else to make that for me.)

Yesterday at work we had to explain our division, and what we actually DO, to someone in the corporate chain of command. As I was sitting there I was thinking, "It's really pretty damn cool, what we do." And I think it was a little gift to me from God, that tiny thought. So I'm grateful for it, even though it has now fleeted away and today just feels like normal drudgery. ;)

AJ's teacher has said she thinks he's READY, absolutely ready to be wearing underwear to school. So we start tomorrow. (Eeee!) I'm nervous for him because he definitely doesn't have the #2 thing down. Normally he waits until the 6:00pm hour to do that business -- he's nothing if not regular! -- (so it's only ME who'd have to deal with it, which is good only because I think accidents will upset him in a major way), but what if...? I guess we'll just have to see.

I'm reading Harry Potter 7 and just dying that we haven't yet seen #5 in the theater. If we don't, it'll be the first in the series that we have missed on the big screen. And that would be tragedy.

All the ideas

...that might be good blog posts, if I could spend enough time to flesh them out.

• Some friends came over for dinner on Saturday, and brought flowers for the table. They're perfect little lavender roses, and exactly match the tablecloth I had picked out. They have made me REALLY happy. Just flowers. I'm sitting next to them now.
  
• My coworker is back after her maternity leave. I'm alternately giddy because I've missed her, and sad because I know how she must feel today. I want to promise her that it gets easier, and it does.... I know that she's got a good setup of wonderful family taking care of her baby girl. And readjusting? Well, that's just part of it from now 'til eternity. I think we readjust a tiny bit every day.
  
• I feel like I want to CALENDAR the prep-for-baby to do list. Like, okay, we need to get AJ moved into his new big-boy room, and he'll need some time to get used to that before the baby arrives, so... calculate back a few months... aaaaand, okay, mid-November needs to be the goal.
  
• So, before then, I've got to get the closet in that room cleaned out. And the dresser moved out. And buy some fun things (maybe wallies, maybe Ikea) for decor. And a new queen-sized comforter for him. Make it as Pottery-Barn-Kids as possible, on a shoestring budget! But I want to wait 'til we know if Baby is a boy or girl, because if it's a girl, I can recycle some of AJ's baby stuff into big-boy stuff... and this is where my head explodes with all the thinking.
  
• I had a good talk with my friend Martina on Saturday night, who said she is so much better for her kids when she's working. For her, it means she comes home eager to see them, and not overtired from their whining and fussing. And she is willing to spend time with them, and is more patient, because she's been away from them. I decided that I feel that way, too in many ways. It made me question wanting to switch to part-time work, but I'm not about to deviate from that plan just yet. It merits much more thinking, though. I can tell you after a long day like Sunday, with AJ having no nap and not eating well, that *I* was most definitely over it, and tired (as evidenced by my SLAMMING his unfinished dinner plate into the sink after he'd been defying me, and raising my voice)
  
• Yesterday we played outside with the neighbors in cool, low-80-degree, no humidity weather. Unfortunately, the mosquitoes were still out in full force. AJ is NOT a big fan of bugs. He's pretty scared of them, actually. They told me at daycare one day last week, he cried all through naptime. When I asked him why he said "I had a ant on my knee." :( I can relate. My first nightmare was about giant bugs. I was really young -- 3 or 4 -- but I remember scenes from it pretty vividly. A dream. Weird.
  

Deep breathing for today

Best thing I've read all week is located here.

I like the part that says,

Life does not come to us all at one time; it comes only a day at a time. Even tomorrow is never ours until it becomes today, and we have nothing whatever to do with it but to pass down to it a fair and good inheritance in today's work well done, and today's life well lived.

I am hungry and I have a due date

Whee! I couldn't resist some baby-swag. I know, it totally cheapens the place but too bad. :) Baby #2 is on his or her way Feb 16, 2008, and the doctor said so! We tried to find heart tones today during my first, painfully paperwork-laden prenatal visit, but no luck. Not worried, just bummed because it would have been neat to know that the little kumquat-sized fishie is really for-true in there with audio evidence. Since I still have a hard time believing it.

I love when they asked (twice) How's your diet? Do you eat fruits and vegetables? I kind-of don't know what to respond to that. "Doesn't everyone?" or "Not 5 times a day, but yes." or "Does guacamole count?" Hee hee. It's a different OB practice for me -- much closer to home than my last doctors, as is the hospital where I'll deliver this little bundle. With AJ, we were thankful that labor started in the middle of the night because that guaranteed no traffic problems down I-75. This time, I don't want to commute to the birth of my child. The hospital is right down the street (well okay, ten minutes away) from home. And as a special bonus, it's across the street (literally) from our church, so during the down-time, hubby can run over there to light a candle for us. :)

Wait. Did somebody say guacamole...?

82 wpm

Some days I sit in my cube and just listen to all the ridiculous typing going on around me, and it makes my heart ache. There will be no other sound except various ones of us pushing the letter-buttons. It makes me wonder WHAT in the hell is so important that 5 people need to be sitting here, brows furrowed, fingers clacking, for 8 hours. Even the sound of my own typing is giving me the heebies right now because it's just so obnoxious. I think it's also because we all type so damn FAST, like it's a life or death race and we have to PUSH, PUSH, PUSH all these stupid useless words out into the world, before we can hit "Send" or "Print" with a big flourish, and get up from our desks to go pick up the hot-off IMPORTANT.DOCUMENT. I'm mostly talking about work, and the business of the world (not blogging -- blog typing, of course, is critical). It just strikes me some days how stupid we all might look if the proverbial aliens came to watch from above.

I guess if the gears in our brains made noise as they turned round and round, that would annoy me even further. So thank goodness for that.

Phoning it in

Sorry guys, all I've got is the 1st-trimester blahs (TI-RED), and the past rainy weekend where I did nothing but lay around. Seriously. So, I've probably done this one before but TOO BAD.

Were you named after anyone? My first name was my Grandfather's first name, which is pretty cool. Not many girls can say that.

When was the last time you cried? Thursday I got a little teared up, but the last good cry was a while ago.

Do you like your handwriting? I have never liked my handwriting. It's very sharp and inconsistent -- sometimes slanty, sometimes not.

What is your favorite lunch meat? Ham. But I prefer "real" ham over cold cuts. With mayo & pickle.

Do you have kids? Kid-S! Plural! That is a scary thought but yes, 1 out- and 1 in-utero.

If you were another person, would you be friends with yourself? I think so. We would be so close I would tell myself to have a backbone once in a while.

Do you use sarcasm a lot? NAWWWWWW.

Do you still have your tonsils? Yep. And my wisdom teeth.

Would you bungee jump? No way.

What is your favorite cereal? Oooh, I just bought some Cinnamon Life and I think it is my very favorite in the entire world. I wonder if the fact that I wait so long between buying it makes it that much more appealing to me?

Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? Not if I can help it.

What is your favorite ice cream? Coffee ice cream (although I had some Rocky Road, of all things, the other night and it was mighty delicious)

What do you notice first about people? I guess overall neatness (or lack thereof) is the first thing that really jumps out at me.

Red or pink? Red. I have said since I was about 4 years old that red is my favorite color. However, I don't wear a ton of red, and my house isn't crammed full of it.

What is your least favorite thing about yourself? I can be pretty lazy.

What is the last thing you ate? (when I started this post:) Thai Peanut Bowl with chicken... (just now:) Cinnamon Life!

What color pant and shoes are you wearing? khaki jeans, brown sandals

What are you listening to right now? my coworker gripe about his server connection and a client request

What are your favorite smells? onions simmering in butter (is this question on every meme?), fresh peaches, hazelnut coffee, lavender, clean laundry

Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? Emily, a programmer I work with

What are your favorite sports to watch? football, gymnastics

What is your hair color? the most boring brown

What is your eye color? hazel

Do you wear contacts? No, and no glasses either.

Scary movie or happy ending? Happy ending.

What is your favorite food? pizza or Mexican, although I had both this weekend, and neither one appealed to me that much pre-eating, or after dinner! Odd pregnancy thing?

What was the last movie you saw? Fantastic Four: The Rise of the Silver Surfer (DH's choice!)

What color shirt are you wearing? khaki with pink stripes

Summer or winter? Fall.

Hugs or kisses? Really, hugs.

What is your favorite dessert? chocolate pie, I think.

What are you reading? I started The Time Traveler's Wife but not really into it yet.

What is on your mouse pad? don't own one

What did you watch on TV last night? some of the E-3 coverage with hubby, then a few minutes of that movie "Picture Perfect" with Jennifer Anniston and Kevin Bacon

Rolling Stones or The Beatles? The Beatles

What is the farthest you've been from home? Japan, although it didn't feel so far away since my family was with me and we were on a military base. Poland felt farther.

Where were you born? Hereford, Tx

Over the weekend I had thought of some additional questions to add to this, but now they've escaped me. Anyone who wants to play, feel free to play.

Also! Go congratulate Sam! Baby Kicky Feet was born, hooray!

Inflection

My little boy is SUCH a grown-up talker.

Yesterday I asked him, "Will you go to Walgreen's with me?" And he said,

"Suwah. Dat will be a good idea."

After our errand, I said, "Thanks, man. I really appreciated your help in there."

And he said, with exactly the inflection you would use,

"Oh, no pwobbwem. Nooo pwobbwem."

Toys for 3 year old boys

(I say boys, but our neighbor came over, a girl, and she was every bit as interested in AJ's new toys as he was.) Rounding up birthday things that were most successful:

• One of those books with the buttons down the side, that play music for every character. Ours is a Shrek variety book, which may have more to do with it than the buttons, but for the first 2 days, AJ didn't even want me to take the plastic wrap off. He was perfectly happy to push the buttons through the plastic: "Story? Pages? Who cares. It beeps!"

• Cariboo, by the makers of Cranium. Now when I was just out of college, my roommate planned Game Nights every few weeks, to where I got pretty sick of games. But this one is really very cool for a 3-year-old. I don't get bored until at least 2 rounds in. ;) It's a treasure hunt. There's a magic key for unlocking the treasure, there's educational letter- and number-matching.... it's just great. A total success -- we've played it nine-leventy million times since Sunday.

• Chutes & Ladders, the classic I never played until this week. I personally think the update of the board's design went a little too far -- I find it hard to tell where the ladders and slides begin, and the squares on the path are difficult to distinguish under all the other fat graphics -- but AJ lurvhs this game, too. He likes to spin the spinner, and he likes to BANG his piece as he moves it around the board randomly. (We really have to help him follow the correct path, number by number, but that's understandable since he only counts to 14 and the numbers go to 100!) When he hits a ladder, it's WHEEEEEEEEE! and ALL RIIIIGHTTTT! and loads of fun for everyone. Or at least for him, heh.

• No surprise, a Thomas wooden Gold Mine Mountain track and train set. Do I even need to explain this? He loves it from tunnel to bridge and around the bend. He loves to make the trains go, and make them crash. It is a masterpiece of boyhood happiness. :)

• You know, Mr. Potato Head and all the "costumes" are entertaining him, too. He's at a stage where he'll "talk" for his toys, which makes me hide around corners so I can listen without making him self-conscious. The big, deep voices and the teensy, high-pitched voices are so funny! I love it.
  

Write these gift ideas down, people. My advice to you.

Slow down, y'move too fast

I read a couple of bloggers who are paid for it, and it's funny, they're just about as pregnant as me -- which is to say, barely -- but all of a sudden have something to SAY about it. Like, pregnancy and baby TOPICS. Me, I'm still just starting to register it. And I'm lucky, because I am so far having another EASY pregnancy without nauseaKNOCK WOOD KNOCK WOOD and without weird major cravings -- except yesterday I did want to eat a large meal about every hour and a half -- so aside from a little crampiness and none of my underpants fitting (gawd!), not much has changed for me yet.

I think about it all the time, I'm just not talking about it out loud. I guess because of all the other excitement going on. AJ's birthday bash was every bit as tiring as I thought it would probably be, with all the relatives here to celebrate. It was wonderful, just tiring. My brother in law DID become newly-engaged, while they were here! So, Wheeee! A wedding! We think they've chosen December 31 as their date, however, and all we can say to that is Ugggggggggh. Could there be a worse time of year?? I don't think so. (Of course I've also pictured myself as the 6-months-pregnant bridesmaid, Sigh. I'm thankful the bride's talking about letting us wear black at least.) Thank goodness we already have December 31 off work but one Blessed Event adds to-do list fodder in triplicate, including getting AJ fitted for a ring-bearer tux, probably, and showers and being the helpful older sister-in-law. (I did get excited thinking about bridal registries. Squee!)

Seems like there's a lot more on our plate for the rest of the year, too. Oh, I know: Hubby's 20th high school reunion in a few weeks (read: trip to Savannah). And my parents want to take us to DisneyWorld with their new Vacation Club points (COOL!), but it has to be before November 30th. And some dinner plans with various groups of friends that we've been meaning to make forever. And inviting the neighbors over (because on 4th of July their 3-year-old CALLED ME OUT, saying, "We NEVER go to AJ's house!" I was mortified because it's true). I'm starting to get a little freaked out and just imagine what kind of freak-out I'll be having when the baby actually ARRIVES. Heaven HALP me.

I will say this. At one point during our carazy weekend of festivities, when AJ was running around playing "Rock Star" by Smashmouth via his Shrek audio birthday card, and the garage door was being opened and shut about a thousand times an hour, and I didn't have any creamer for coffee, and some NASCAR race must've been on TV to entertain... I don't know who... my Dear Husband took me aside into our room and hugged me, and patted my tummy very gently, and it was the first time he'd done that this go-round. It was just what I needed: a quiet reminder that this time is about US, him and me, and this new little person that we haven't met yet, and it's a good, new, sweet single thing. I love him for doing that.

Audience participation

Bah. There's nothing new to read. I'm having one of those days where I click "Refresh All" every ten minutes in my feed reader. That can't be good, can it? I guess I'll just have to entertain myself.

I made the CUTEST cupcakes for AJ's birthday party at daycare today. They're white cake, with white frosting and red sprinkles, and they're delish (every good chef tries the dish, don'tcha know). The teacher said to me on Wednesday, "Sure, bring 'em in. I'd do something if the parents don’t, but it's HIS day on Friday." (His birthday is Sunday.) It, of course, made me a little sad to think that some parents WOULDN'T do something for their kid's birthday… but to say so would be judgmental, since I don't know what circumstances other people are dealing with. I’m just glad that the daycare employs sweet, loving people like Miss Ashley who love the kids when they need loving, and celebrate each one on his or her special day.

So, for the birthday I think we have an official extravaganza locked and loaded, even as I tried not to. (At least there will only be ONE screaming kid running around, and he's mine.) The grandparents on both sides are headed this way as I type, as well as AJ's uncle, who's intending to propose to his girlfriend TONIGHT! We have to recommend a restaurant for the actual scene of the romance! And afterwards, they'll come back home to MY house! So exciting! I have the champagne chilling in the fridge right now. Ooh, maybe I should go out at lunch to get a bottle of sparkling juice for me and little fetus (now the size of half a pea!) to enjoy.

Although AJ's birthday is on Sunday, we'll likely celebrate Saturday with a lunch trip to the brand-new pizza buffet place, a Dora cake, and some presents:

• Spiderman sleeping bag
• "I Spy" card game
• "Cadoo" board game, which I hope is somehow "Memory" related
• possibly a plastic slide for the backyard
• a new Mr. Potato Head "outfit"
• a big plastic dinosaur playset, and
• 2 new battery-operated Thomas trains for our train set.

I'm very excited because it appears we are giving him NO MOVIES, for once. Just all good, imagination-spurring, smart-enhancing playthings. I think the birthday boy's going to be over the moon about all these gifts, but it brings up a good question:

What are good gifts for a 3-year-old boy?

My mom and I have been trying to keep a running list as AJ grows, so we'll know, next time we have a birthday party to attend (or next baby, perhaps!), which things get good reactions at which ages. Please share your favorites!

Do over

I'm really embarrassed about my post yesterday with all the whining bratty nonsense.

I'd like to start over and try again: We're expecting! And so are a lot of other folks, including my work friend, J! Isn't that awesome? It's going to be a(nother) banner year. :)

It is, indeed, awesome, and I'm starting to be able to tell there's something happening in my belly; yesterday I felt all crampy, all day. Things are adjusting to accommodate a squatter I guess! Hee hee. I also HAD to eat ice cream, twice, yesterday. FEED ME calcium (in a tasty frozen confection). Finally, my bladder, which has never been the same since AJ was born, is definitely taking notice. I'm back to ye olde familiar morning potty break -- I totally remember this. Every day about 40 minutes before my alarm goes off, I'm waking up and having no choice but to go, just like last time. This is a feature of pregnancy I grew to hate, especially when it started be accompanied with fourteen other bathroom trips per night, but mostly because in the remaining 37 minutes before the alarm, you just can't get back into an excellent sleep cycle. (Silver lining: It becomes prime time for testing out baby names.)

* * * * * * * * * * *

Along with the enormous gift of a baby-to-come, I've been given another little gift.

A few months back, I asked my Mom to look for the white paperbacks I remember carrying to Mass on Sundays as a child: "The Old Testament for Children," "The New Testament for Children," "The Life of Jesus," titles like that. They were just pocket-sized, and perfect for a little girl to play housekeeper with, dusting the pews baaaack and foooorth noisily read quietly during church.

Mom found 'em, and she tossed in an old black missal with gold lettering and red-edged pages, called "Mother Love." I have a sneaking suspicion that maybe HER Mom gave it to her (though I'm not sure), and I'm just giggly over it. Its heft -- for a small book, it's chock-full of those parchment-thin pages -- and its quaint little 1950s tips are somehow a comfort to me. Like this:

On Going Steady: Are your teenage sons and daughters "going steady" to Confession, Communion, and Holy Mass, or are they "going steady" on dates and becoming spiritually unsteady?

Hee! Having such a 'vestige' of the pre-Vat II Church tradition makes me want to pass its lessons on more conscientiously to my own children. I.E., I ought to read it, and pray, more daily.

Some of the prayers I like best:

Lord, please help me today to be a good wife, mother, and neighbor. (um... yes.)

* * *

How often I ask You to listen to me, O Lord. Give me the grace to listen to my children and especially to my teenagers. (Or toddlers!)

* * *

The day is about over. I worked and I am tired. (Amen!) Please give me the gift of a good night's sleep.

* * *

I just love it. I've put it beside my bed. I don't promise to read it every night, and I'll never be as pious as the Confraternity of Christian Mothers who put the thing together. But I think it's good practice to rely on Grace in motherhood, and maybe this will remind me to try. :)

Me, Me, Maternity

I was packing for our trip eleven days ago and noticed, "Hey, Self, it's been 43 days... You are going to need to either pack Tampax and Tequila, or possibly saltine crackers and peppermints, so which is it?"

And it was... saltines. (Hoo-ray for not needing Tampax on a beach vacation.)

So there you have it, my news. I'm about 4 weeks in, I guess, and perfectly thrilled and grateful. I told my parents, sister, and best friend last week and had fun "hiding" it from our other family ("Just a Sprite for me, thanks"). It -- the news, not the Sprite -- certainly added to the joy of having a week off.

I'm being slightly grumpy about it today however, because I came home from vacation (painful enough in itself) hoping to share the news with a few close coworkers. And then got scooped: another of our colleagues announced while I was out that she's expecting... Twins. (Hey look over there, it's the air going SWOOOOSH, right out of my tires.) There's also another work-friend who helps out part-time in the summer, and she's due in 5 months or so. The two of them standing together today, talking about due dates, just made me feel childish. Like, "It's no fair" and "But that's MY news," and probably a dose of "I guess no one will care about me now, I'll just go eat worms."

I AM Extremely Immature. And I realize that every woman, especially someone I think of as a friend, deserves to be a mother and deserves congratulations and excitement, and not petty selfish scowls from me. And that some people can't get pregnant, or can't right now, and I have nothing to whine about. NOTHING. It's a bigger forehead-slap than the day I realized, after a particularly bad vocal audition, that there are a LOT of talented singers in this world. Really A LOT. I'm not the only one. And I'm happy for everyone, really. I don't know why I can't just say, Hey! this will be fun! We'll all start comparing our heartburn and looking cute in our shared maternity clothes. (Can I borrow your red blouse?)

I will confess something I'm a tad ashamed of -- back when I got pregnant with AJ, I was desperate to be first at my office. We are a group of around 25 people, and at the time, about 6 of us were married-a-few-years-ready to be thinking about it. I WAS first, and was really relieved. So I guess this is come-uppance for that smug (and stupid) "win." Maybe next week I won't cringe when I see all the other pregnant women. I guess I can't help my natural feelings, so for now I think I'm going to stamp my little feet for a teensy minute. Mine! (Whaa.)

And then, I'm going to get over it and be excited. :)

I really thought I'd be liveblogging the beach.

I guess I disappeared there, for my vacation week, lost to the blogosphere and to work and email. I fully intended to use my laptop while we were in Florida but I just never could bring myself to pull it out of my briefcase. In fact, even looking sideways at my briefcase last week made me shiver and involuntarily turn the other way, so I couldn't have kept up with the blogs even if I'd had anything to say.

The week was nice; it was beach week. There was some of the usual drama (hey, you take 30 of your nearest and dearest relatives to one resort complex and see what happens), not to mention AJ's own drama -- the kid wouldn't go NEAR the sand or the big, bad ocean, and whined about just nearly everything else -- and I'll tell you: mentally? Not so much a vacation.

Then I come back to a disshelved workplace -- some extra drama there, too, while I was gone -- and it pretty much shoots my mood right to hell. Far, far away from here isn't far enough. :( Boo.

I should be grateful that I had a vacation at all, and I am. But the first day back? Ouch. Sorry if I'm not much for chatting. And I'd really like to spend all day catching up on your blog, but instead I have a buttload of work to do.

I'm going to go Sigh several times now.