There'll be joy

I knew I wouldn't be able to stand "taking a break" from blogging. :) So I'm here, even though I still don't feel I have anything much to share. Except, well, writing things down that *I* want to remember, like last weekend I participated in possibly the best choral experience I've ever had. Now for me that's saying a LOT, because I have had the honor of singing in LOTS of choral concerts. Some in Europe, which you'd think would make them top on the list just by geographical and architectural default. I've been inspired many many times by particular MOMENTS during a choral performance. Like when I sang Handel's Messiah, when all the A-mens begin, I really FELT the "end" of that piece -- the culmination, because it paralelled my own life at that moment. It was the end of my college career -- my senior year Spring concert -- my last event with my first concert chorus. The end of my first love affair with choral music. (Oops, watch out for my dripping Sap!) I had a brief moment singing those Amens where every instance of music in my life was brought to mind: Granny, "the" singer in our family who taught me by example; my childhood stint in the First United Methodist and First Presbyterian choirs in my hometown (I was very young - maybe only 3 or 4 - for one of those choirs); all the piano and violin lessons; "songleading" in elementary school Masses... it was a tearful but happy moment that I'll never forget. And the times in Europe WERE great, too. Sometimes I'd just marvel at where we were -- Poland, Prague -- those were amazing moments.

That said, this past weekend was, yes, I think a teeny bit BETTER. The music we sang included a lot of songs I'd done before, and some, like Schubert's Mass in G, that I didn't think I even liked in rehearsals. But I learned very definitively that *the orchestration* is what makes Schubert and Mozart. The choral components? Meh. But put 'em together -- stand right in the middle of it, feel it happen around you with the 2nd violas sitting right there and a great conductor, an organist, and focus on your every note so that you execute each one perfectly as it was meant to be sung? and it's heaven. It's mathmatical and perfect and a full unique language. That is why those guys are called "genius."

Choral performance is most assuredly my favorite thing to do. I would rather have been in that church, on those risers Saturday night, than just about anywhere else. [And now for some stream of consciousness that I typed out shortly after the concert...] Durufle motets -- Tota Pulchra Es won't get out of my head now, I love it. Totus Tuus -- hardest choral piece I've ever sung -- and I've done it twice in performance now -- Such a prayer. "Totus Tuus sum Maria" -- I am completely yours, Mary -- Our Mother -- was a good chance for me to ask for strength and guidance in motherhood. The whole experience was spiritual for me. The actual "spirituals" made me grin wide. Gilead, Ride On King Jesus, Little Lamb, and Ain'a That Good News! Man! The acoustic was amazing, the music well chosen, the artists real, the sound glorious. The last note of Little Lamb = "Joooooy!" reverberated at least 6 seconds. I am PRIVILEGED to have been part of all of it. I heard my own voice, singing its best and loudest! at times. And yet it was just a tiny part of this grand whole GROUP -- a real communion with others, musical ensembles. I know that music is, aside from my family, my husband, and my son, Absolutely the greatest gift God gave to me. -- to the world! It's larger than me, larger than the world. It's a Privilege. And it's very humbling.

Thanks. Had to get that out. :)