Accomplishing, and sitting

Today I've gotten some minor details taken care of, like calling for dentist appointments that are long overdue for all three of us big people, faxing a form for my work leave of absence, blah blah. Yesterday, Darling Husband cleaned the house, tip -top to bottom -- I can't thank him enough. [I was grumpy with him, unfortunately, and am choosing to blame it on hormones and say I'm really sorry, honey. I miss the fact that while we were in the hospital those 2 days, it was just him, me, and Baby. Kind-of like a retreat. Since we've gotten home it's been less just us and more "let's hurry and get back into our regular (new regular) rhythm." Kinda makes me sad but I guess it's reality. I've joked that eventually I'll have to stop being the invalid and start taking responsibility for things again. Thank goodness my Mom's still here to help me put THAT off.]

KT baby is just the sweetest thing. She's doing an every-other-night routine of good sleeping. Last night was her "off" night. Heh. The night before she gave me two stints of 3-hour sleeping and I felt GREAT yesterday. A friend wisely pointed out that because I'm fairly certain this is the last time I'll be doing this newborn thing, I'm probably less aggravated by being up with her. It's a time that's so fleeting, and I know to cherish it..... Okay, I'll admit being a little aggravated -- mostly because it still hurts to sit for too long, ifyaknowwhatimean -- but man, when the house is all quiet and I just get to sing "Hush, Little Baby..."? That's not such a bad lot in life.

So, what are you people doing? Did we watch the Oscars? (We did.) Did we care? Not really. In fact it probably worked well that KT was up last night, since I wanted to be up, anyway. I've been watching a lot of late-night TV -- keeping it on provides just the right amount of light in our bedroom for nursing and burping. I've watched a whole night's worth of Dirty Jobs, a whole night of FoodTV [go away, Paula Deen], 2 episodes of Married With Children (!?), and even a western -- Shenandoah -- for reasons unknown. Anyway, I thought most of the dresses last night were very pretty, except Tilda Swinton's. Gah. She ought to try makeup, too. I thought most of the awards were probably deserved and I enjoyed all the musical numbers from Enchanted! Go Amy Adams -- it was a little feast for a former musical theater nerd like myself. :)

Ooh, I also accomplished these Mocha Chip scones, and accomplished eating half of them myself. TRY THEM. No butter!

Day 5 Dispatch

The first few days are obviously about surviving -- in our case so far, they are about cold cereal breakfasts and afternoon talk shows. Supply and demand in the feeding department, of course (going okay so far, and I'm proud of myself for powering through some of what I know must be just early pain that WILL go away -- I'm like a marathoner, wooooo! push through that next mile), and keeping things like the spilled sugar on the kitchen countertop out of my mind.

She checked out fine at the first peds appointment. Had to get rechecked for bilirubin levels and ever-so-slight jaundice, but all came back normal.

My husband is a dream come true. He is overcome with love for his Kate.

My parents have been wonderful helping with everything, and AJ -- what can I say about that wonderful boy? HE is also surviving these weird days. I don't get too emotional, post-partum-wise, except when I think about him, and how MUCH I love him and the unfortunate requirement that I neglect him a bit more than I'm used to while I'm utterly and so, so willingly attached, literally and figuratively, to this precious little girl. I can't stand to be away from her. It's overwhelming. :)

Welcome

Katelyn Elise
born February 15, 2008

6 lbs, 15 oz

18.5 inches

~We are a family of four!~

Distraction - My Post Meme

I've been tagged by my friend at LagLiv to do a meme that's, surprise, all about me! And my posts. Past ones, you see, that I like. Here we go. (Hey, one thing first: Did you guys know I'm thisclose to having a baby? Except, not?)

THE RULES:
** Post about the meme and link back to the person that tagged you.
** Go back to your archives and link to your five favorite posts.

Link One: must be about family
Link Two: must be about friends
Link Three: must be about yourself
Link Four: must be about something you love
Link Five: can be anything you choose

** Tag five other people (at least two must be new acquaintances so that you can get to know them better).


1. My post about Family: Well, there are lots of posts about the family that lives inside my house, but since my parents have joined us this week to help with the baby prep, let's read about them and how good they were (are) at parenting.

2. My post about Friends: Looking through all my posts, I realized I don't post very much about my friends. However, I have some wonderful ones! Including, of course, MaryB, whom you should all know and be reading. I met her a few weeks before freshman year of high school, either at Orientation or at the meeting for those interested in cheerleading. We were fast friends and I can only recall one or maybe two fights in all these coughtwentyohmygodcough years. In our adult lives, she has also become my clothing supplier! Love her!

3. My post about Me: This one.

4. My post about something I love: Of course, it's about
music. I love being able to read music, knowing a little something about theory, and having an outlet for performing it.

5. Anything I like: This is one about working out and dieting, which is not always a heartwarming topic, but during this pregnancy as I've watched other people make resolutions and start fitness programs, I've gotten kind-of... jealous. I miss my old body (not that it was ever perfect), and I've been thinking about how I'll tackle the losing weight issue in 6 or 8 months or (18 months) whenever I can muster up the gumption.

Alright, tagging my five people! Gerah, because she's BACK! And maybe she should unearth some of her old stuff for all her new readers. Slynnro, because I'm new to her blog and it appears she has plenty of archives to choose from. Mandy! because she's my 2nd cousin and maybe she has some MySpace archives she could link us to. Arwen, because maybe she needs a writing prompt to thaw her out (and because she writes beautifully), and Skiplovey, because I definitely want to learn more about her funny self.

I feel ... sheepish*

Y'all, I am feeling really stupid for not having had a baby yet. My MIL left yesterday and her "reinforcements," my parents, arrived. Reinforcements for what, I don't know. For sitting on my couch and possibly folding my laundry. I'm glad they're here, of course.

Went to WBlech-Mart yesterday and drove the cart so slowly around the aisles that AJ fell asleep in there. Hee! It was cute. But the trip wore me right out. Afterwards I could do nothing but sit, sit, sit. Oy, the Gravity was painful.

I'm worried my cold has turned into a sinus infection.

Aren't I lovely??

In happier news, I think the nursery looks great:




*no one remembers that line from Aladdin, but it is my favorite. By the inimitable Robin Williams as the Genie.

Building a kid's self-esteem

Ah, self-esteem. The thing all of us probably have, or have had, trouble with during our lives. Whether it's in your pre-teen years when you just realize that other folks are looking at you, or in that most awful of times, high school, or even after you're an adult and have kids of your own. Helping our kids establish a healthy sense of self is so important. This article made me think about it, and had a lot of good points, I thought.

AJ is very small and very shy. He doesn't particularly play with any specific "friends" yet, and sometimes I wonder about how his self-esteem will play out, as he gets older. We're good about most of the things the article mentions. We love him unconditionally, set limits (or try to), let him know mistakes are okay, pay attention to him, etc. I am intrigued by their discussion of the delicate balance between "Praise" versus "Encouragement." I'm very prone to saying "I'm proud of you" when he does well with something. I've also been known to tell him he's pretty smart -- because he is! I do wonder, can that kind of praise really be detrimental? I guess I need to attach a specific task to it, like, "Good job, remembering to throw away your empty juice box." Or, "You are really learning your numbers, do you like to count?"

On the other hand, maybe it's all just over-thinking.

---------

To build MY self-esteem (and distract me from my tummy) my friend Lauren gave me this! We're blog buddies! What fun! I would like to pass it on to black sheeped, because she is so spunky and sweet. :)

Still no news...

Forget waterboarding, this Having No Idea When This THING is Going to Happen is about to be classified as INHUMANE. Went to the doc today and had dilated a slight bit more, but no other significant developments. Except the doctor went in and waved her magic little fingers to maybe start up some action.

Still.... No. Idea.

I'm ready for a little snuggly baby to hold. I'm ready to go productively to the hospital. I'm most of all ready to turn on my 'Out of Office' message on LOTUS NOTES at work, and be done with that stuff. I just can't concentrate on it now but I feel like, if I'm not contracting, I might as well be emailing and finishing things up. I mean, I guess it's still conceivable that I'll be pregnant on Feb 24th, so... just, who knows. That would make me weep, you know.

Mostly I'm irritable when real-life strangers KEEP asking me "When are you due?" like the door-to-door sales-kid did today; or "No news??" like AJ's daycare teachers keep doing. (Not YOU people, of course, or people I love. Moms, best friends, sisters, and blog buddies can ask all you like.)

I've also gotten advice to "go for a walk," so labor will really start. Dudes, if I could walk comfortably around the house, I'd walk down the block. But let me say this: cement shoes.

But no, wait, this is all a MIRACLE and a JOY.

Grateful

I'm so thankful that my mother-in-law has arrived to TAKE CARE OF US. Yeesh, yesterday I was so fuzzy under the blanket of a stupid head-cold, and I felt like such absolute kee-rap that when she appeared at the door at 2:30, I nearly cried with relief and collapsed in her arms. Of course, of course, I wish it were MY own mom -- even my MIL realizes that we all want our OWN mommies, which gives her BIG POINTS in my book. But we determined that I'd rather have my mom here AFTER baby girl joins us, so I can cry in HER arms when everything is WRONG, WRONG, WRONG. So MIL is here now.

And I'm super grateful.

She is, as I type this, folding her third or fourth load of laundry.

She drove on up, because Sunday night was more than a SuperBowl, wasn't it? I mean, the game, yeah, the game was great. Even the commercials were better, I thought, than the last few years. But for us it was REALLY more: I had 3 hours of -- seriously, y'all -- 4-minutes-apart contractions. I thought for sure we'd be heading to the hospital and we considered which kind of homage we should pay the football gods for delivering her safely that night: we could've named her Manning, Brady, or maybe Belly-Check (HAR DEE HAR HAR)! That's what we spent the first 2 quarters doing, anyway. Checking my belly. It was big fun. Sitting down didn't stop 'em. Lying down didn't. Cold water didn't. But I was still able (and willing) to eat my share of our hosts' spinach dip and pizza ring, and I walked around a bit without my "cement shoes," as hubby calls it when I waddle around at a snail's pace... so I couldn't really decide if it was "REAL" labor or what. Called the doctor, who didn't seem concerned. Then everything subsided and we all went about our business.

I fell asleep during the beginning of the 4th quarter (body a little worn out, maybe?) then woke up in time for the best part of the game.

* * * * * * * *

I've gotten a little sad a couple times this week, thinking, "But our family is just perfect like it is." Even though I know it will only get MORE perfect and there will be MORE love. It's a little bittersweet, I guess. And then Beth started taking pictures of her daughter's "last only-child" moments, and... I hadn't even thought of that.

What I've Done Today

-- timed contractions for an hour (5-6 am, ugh). They were about 16 minutes apart. And stopped around 6:30 or 7.

-- got my hair cut. for the last time before Baby. also for the last time with that stylist, she's leaving (sob!).

-- made my husband paint a few items of nursery decor (told ya I couldn't stand it)

-- wondered, "are THESE my THIGHS? (How did they get so... wide?)"

Admittedly

Alright, maaayyyybeeee I got a little overheated about yesterday's doctor's appointment. Maybe. I sat still as much as I could last night (hoooooray for LOST's return to the TV screen! 2 hours of mind-boggling entertainment) and never had any regular contractions, and usually they were at least a half-hour apart. So. But DOODS! Here I was thinking, "Oh, I still have at least 3 weekends to finish all these Major Preparations, la la la..." and the idea that maybe I don't just freeeeeaked me out a bit.

So I made two casseroles last night for dinner instead of one (freezer-time!) made hubby get the infant carseat out of storage, and made that trip to Babies R Us for a few last-minute items. I sort-of hate that Baby's room is just not quite finished yet (bare walls! no toys cleverly placed to appear as "decor!") but I suppose second kids just get the shaft and she may as well get used to it. Fewer photos, half-assed baby book, boring nursery. Not to mention she won't be living in there the first few weeks anyway. Blah. Stop worrying, self. Settle. Down.

But thanks for all your supportive comments. This little adventure is about to begin!

Here's my question to you: for your warehouse membership needs, Costco or Sam's? Both are equidistant from my house and I'm remembering how much I love their ha-yooge boxes of diapers. The land of plenty! C'mon, admit it -- you shop there too. To which should I become a loyal subscriber, do you think?

And seriously, Lost, y'all. Does Matthew Fox look even better this year or is it just me? The flash-forward scenes where he's all dressed in a business suit... SIGH. Very pretty. ;)

Edited to add: Hey, someone started it in comments: Let's have a Guessing Game! Closest to the actual due date WINS! (my love and affection)

HO.LY. ----

Anyone want to hear some numbers?

1.5 cm
50% eff.

If that means anything to you, then please join me as I start to PANIC.

:) ? !

p.s.? My husband remembers getting a doctor's report of "1.5 cm" last time. We went to Labor & Delivery that very night.

panic panic panic panic panic...

Coming back

I'm feeling things again, spiritually. Throughout this pregnancy, and even before then, I guess, I've felt like I had this dark hallway in my heart that nothing was getting through. Not depression, not sadness, just a flatline of emotion, especially concerning faith and matters of spirit. Oh, I've gone to church; I've prayed here and there. But nothing real, nothing genuine seemed to stay at the forefront.

Of course, we were so busy. For so long. And I let that stress really take over my thoughts and push out the clean breath of knowing how small I am, knowing how good God is, and living for that every day. Instead I lived for details and schedules and had nearly forgotten to look up at the sky once in a while, and take that clean breath.

Lately I can feel my heart coming back. I wonder if it's the nearness of new life, the impending birth of a new baby, and my inner self instinctively knowing that it's about to be washed - baptised again - by love and hope for her?

I find things are moving me that haven't, in a year: A song on the radio this morning, one that has been released a long while, and I've heard but never really tuned into, reached me today and got me teary. (It prays that God will "Cover up my heart,/ cover up my soul,/ cover up my life/ and everything I know/... and I felt the words exactly when I heard it today.) Last night in bed my hands and fingers throbbed, and while my first thought was, "Gawd, why me? Why this? It HURTS..." my second thought was, "Wait, be still and grateful -- this pain is a gift. The gift of a life that we get to have and hold and be responsible for. God? I'd rather be thankful for this privilege."

Getting his own juice

My wee baby son, who not so long ago was barely learning to talk
and then stepping down stairs, and learning to do lots of other big-boy things, is now in front of the fridge he opened, pouring his own apple juice and not. even. spilling. it.

Wait, hang on... he remembered to close the fridge door when he was done.

Good thing that as I finished that paragraph he also asked me urgently to help him, "I can't do 'Menu,' Mama! Can't do 'Menu!'" (on the DVD remote). Whew, he still needs me. :)

Little dude had a fever yesterday and was just so pathetic. Laying down on the couch of his own free will? What is that? Covered with a blanket, no less. He did that TWICE. Thank goodness they haven't taken Children's Tylenol off the shelves yet, though I'm sure that's coming. My friend who was born on a farm in the fifties reminds me that his mom gave him a spoonful of turpentine when his stomach hurt. Y'know, to EASE the pain. HA! I am sure we'll have to revert to that in this next uber-regulated, nothing's-safe-to-sell day and age. It'll be like the bomb hit or something and we have to start over from scratch.

But I digress.

So he's home with me today and we're trying to keep it low-key, but he obviously feels
fine now. We were just outside playing -- kicking the soccer ball. He's pretty darn good -- can stop it when it's coming to him, and kick it back in a fairly straight line. He's also being brave: willing to go retrieve the soccer ball when it rolls near the yard with three (fenced-in) big, barky labs. He totally would NOT have done that a year ago. He would have cried 'til I did it for him. We play board games like Parker Brothers is going out of style: Sorry, Disney Candyland (at least twice a day each), and sometimes Leapfrog Bingo and Caribou. He knows that an Eleven in Sorry means he can either move eleven spaces or switch with an opponent. (He doesn't always choose the most strategic of the two, but HEY.) He goes to the bathroom all by himself -- moves the stepstool under the light switch to turn the light on himself, then scoots it back to the potty. He even sometimes washes his hands if I shout at him a little. He tolerates one or two spicier foods. He fork-cuts his own pieces into smaller bites, if they're too big. He'll sit across from me at the table and color with markers for a span of ten or fifteen minutes.

He's still not brushing his own teeth so DH or I do it, which is getting to be a pain. He's still not over making a giant mess at mealtime by smearing something on his vinyl placemat. He's still employing the whine tactic a lot when he thinks he's not going to get his way. He still wants me to lie down with him as he falls asleep.

But as a general rule, the kid is actually growing up, right in front of my very eyes. I'm not going to know what to do when a new infant shows up next to him, and reinforces this fact by her very presence.

My baby.

Productivity

Well! After a particularly good morning on the work-front, wherein I completed Contract Negotiations for one client (sounds impressive but has really been a giant pain in my ass for 4 months -- or is that a pain in my giant ass?), compiled some data and made Pivot Tables for my boss (hear me ROAR! Pivot Tables are HARD for me! Excel-hater here...), and wrote a stunning, "outstanding" email to another client (acc'd to the VP who reviewed it).... I am pretty much mentally pooped. It may be all I can do to read blogs and appear busy the rest of the day.

I also need something chocolate. Oh, vending machine? I fly to thee.

However, my productivity shall continue tonight: I plan to pack the ever-important hospital bag. I think I can get away with a small-ish tote bag this time. All I'm going to take are the following:

-- iPod and ear buds (but they live in my purse)
-- magazines like People and Cosmo: no real books!
-- lip balm
-- gum
-- a present for AJ "from Baby Sister"
-- my camera, OBVIOUSLY
-- a couple of nightgown-type garments for me
-- a couple of going-home-type garments for her
-- a few snacks I like... i.e., NOT Goldfish
-- a small makeup bag with the essentials (toothbrush, paste, comb, shampoo, powder foundation and lipgloss)
-- pads and possibly some good, big underwear (although last time I did get pretty friendly with the fishnet variety the hospital provides)
-- a bottle and some formula just in case
-- a clean pillowcase to put on the pillow I will be bringing from my very own bed

I don't know if hubby wants me to include any items for him since we'll be close to home this time. Probably a toothbrush would be wise. I'm thinking even my going-home outfit can just be retrieved the first time someone is available. I figure there will be much more running in-between hospital and house this time, with AJ to attend to, and no interstate on the paththankGod.

What makes me excited about this packing list is that I probably need to run by our favorite store to get some of these things. (See. Spot.) And AJ requested that his Daddy pick him up from school today, so Hooray! You'll know where to find me at 5:00 p.m.

Happy Friday.

iPod, and adding Injury to Insult

This morning I heard two songs on the radio that I want to download immediately:

Goo Goo Dolls: Better Days (2005)

and

Brandon Heath: I'm Not Who I Was (2007)

I'm also psyched about a few of the songs from this album, by my real-life friend from college. Go listen! Buy! He is very, very talented.

I've been compiling a list of other songs I want, and I'm excited to have a big gift card for iTunes from Christmas. New music is something I haven't wanted in a long time. I think because I so rarely get to listen to my iPod anyway -- or if I do, it's with AJ in the car, and he requests the same songs every time. Good songs! But the same ones. "Particle Man," "No! No! No!," and the Spiderman theme song as sung by the Ramones (I think). :)

All these songs I want are really calm, acoustic-y ones, which complements my theme for early 2008 -- trying to relax myself and chill out before the impending Unrelaxed State due Feb 24th. I hope one of these becomes a real favorite. During AJ's birth, I had a very sweet song stuck in my head (Amy Grant's "My Jesus, I Love Thee"), and I really hope that happens again for this Baby's entrance to the world. I might have to employ the iPod, actually, to make it happen. We'll see.

- - - - - ...and now back to our regularly scheduled complaining... - - - - -

Okay, this third trimester stuff is really just NOT a whole lot of fun, can I tell you? In the past week I've had a couple of very painful nights of crampy bullsh*t, where my lower abdomen just feels like it's on FIRE. They're not regular-interval cramps like contractions, just one loooong contraction I guess. On top of that, the pelvic pain and hip pain is beginning to really hurt during the night. I mean, I do sit most of the day, and commute; there is a lot of weight helping gravity's natural tendency there. And the launch-pad's creaky beams are making room and making ready, so okay, I can deal. I know it's all normal -- the doctor told me so -- and I'm not a first-timer. I'm trying not to get all het up about "normal."

I'm also getting BIGGER as we speak, and last week I had to go buy, 5 weeks before I'm due mind you, 3 pairs of pants in size large because my mediums are just not working anymore. Fine, whatever, I'm Large and in Charge. But on top of the pain already emanating from down there, Monday I wear some of the new pants without washing them first (desperate times), and the seam is so rough on the insides of my (dry, can't-reach-'em-with-lotion) thighs that now I also have to deal with flaming, bumpetty skin.

Gah. It is no wonder pregnant women waddle. (Warm baths every night have been very helpful for the contrax, by the way, although I can't lay down in the bath. I just sit there and pour big cupfuls of water over my shoulders for about 30 minutes. Quite nice. Send more bubble bath.)

What does a girl have to do to get a doc to write "Bed Rest" on a little white slip of paper? Because I'm thinking that would make it allllll better.

This is more like it

Not Snow Much

Well, metro Atlanta survived our fifteen flakes of snow with nary a frostbitten pinky toe, as usual making mountains out of molehills. Me included. I guess we just can't help getting excited to see the white stuff we hear so much about falling out of the actual sky. AJ and I were coming out of the grocery store when it started, and his first-time enthusiasm coupled with my nostalgia made for tongues hanging out to catch it, and positively joyful laughter as we soaked up the wintery-ness of it all. It was so fun to watch him. I may have accidentally mentioned that if it snowed a lot we wouldn't have school. And in my defense, they were predicting a lot of frozen rain and low overnite temps, which might have wrecked the streets and power lines... but it didn't. It all ended with some very uninteresting rain, making things just wet and annoying instead of "fairytale wonderland." Oh well.

Luckily, AJ went off to school this morning without any protesting, which has become pretty rare until this week. I think we're over yet another little tantrum hurdle -- when do these stop, exactly? Sigh. He's doing great in his new classroom, though, bringing home artwork where he has lined up elephant pictures from biggest to smallest, or drawn lines in diagonals across the page from SOCK to SHOE and HAT to HEAD and other things that match. I just love watching him learn.

I went to the OB yesterday and have finally gone all the way through their rotation, so I saw a doc I'd seen before, and decided I really like him. He's got a gentle bedside manner but tells it like it is, and I appreciate both of those things very much. Here's hoping he is on call the day I deliver. We've also got the nursery coming together (slowly but surely) and I washed a big load of itsy bitsy clothes -- none of which really needed washing. My friend who donated girl things to me obviously washed them before she gave them to me -- they even smelled like detergent -- and I had washed my own stuff before binning it three years ago.... but still. [Aside -- I am surprised at how many of AJ's onesies and little sleep gowns I am getting to reuse. He seems so BOY now, I forgot that sometimes 'baby' is just 'baby,' no matter what flavor you get. We had a ton of yellows, oranges, and greens and I'm so excited to cuddle and squeeze see them again. Hee.] You feel like you WANT TO do those Dreft loads. It's a ritual or something, a true PART OF getting ready for a baby. Next up is the casserole-freezing, I guess. And muffins. (Inspiring!)

High Class Trash

I am strangely addicted to yet another BravoTV hit, The Real Housewives of Orange County. Show of hands: Anyone? It's a love-hate thing for me -- these women are portrayed as whiny, bitchy, have-it-alls -- and I do mean ALL, we're talking millions of gadollars here. Exactly the type of person that makes me gag.... yet I can't. stop. watching. (Not meaning to judge, of course, because I certainly have everything I could ever want or need and *I* certainly whine and bitch, but you know what I mean.)

Last night rewarded my enduring XBox Live and hockey all week (love you Honey, and there's nothing else on anyway) with TWO episodes. In the first, they were having a Botox Party at a local plastic surgeon's office, complete with sushi, wine, and free consultations. Now I'm no expert on plastic surgeons, but um.... it seems to me if the invitation said they were going to seduce me with fancy wine in a big glass and THEN conduct my free consultation, I would notice that *something is fishy about this.* Sure enough, once the 39-year-old housewife was drunk enough, she thought everything the doctor said was either hysterical or GOSPEL TRUTH. She "wasn't planning to have anything done, but after the doctor told me I needed this lift and that lift..." she jumped right up onto the table for a Botox injection right then and there.

Brilliant of the doctor, I guess. I should give him credit for being a smart businessman and knowing his customers.

The second episode was the 39-year-old's 40th birthday party in which she MOANED and CRIED and RENT HER GARMENTS about turning 40, on her yacht... until her husband presented her with a BIG FAKE "I spent my last few dollars on this" Diamond encrusted -- no, Diamond Covered Rolex. And oh, ho, ho, by "last few" he meant "forty-thousand." The other women, in their confessional scenes where they speak directly to the camera, were all, "It's a rite of passage to receive your first (diamond) Rolex." BWAHH HAHAHAHAHA! God, they are funny. My first Fossil must be the middle-class equivalent. (I love my Fossil.)

After that, she didn't mind being forty so much, though. Go fig. Time to get drunk again, she said, pass the champagne.

It does sort-of bother me that they're calling all these women "housewives" when a) most of them have housecleaners and gardeners and pool-boys, which I'm not sure but I think means they don't fit the traditional definition of the word housewife. And b) two of them aren't even married, they've been divorced for more than 10 years each. ("You keep using dat word... I do not tink it means what you tink-a it means.") In Season One there was a single girl on the show who happened to be dating a very rich Orange County guy whose money she spent hither and yon. Dear Bravo: NOT A HOUSEWIFE.

To think, this used to be the network that showed intelligent, arthouse movies and James Lipton.

And yet... I'm a bit excited that they're doing a New York City spin-off this spring.

Let it snow, and photos

Ooh, they're predicting some sort of cold and precipitation for Wednesday/Thursday! Yay! Maybe we can get a snow-day out of it. You know, big southern city goes all Chicken Little when there's a potential for white stuff coming out of the sky.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I have been meaning to post a few pictures of the New Year's Eve wedding bash, mostly to show off the world's most adorable three-year-old in a tuxedo:

Practicing our runway walk before the festivities...

Charming the ladies on the dance floor...

Sampling his bartending skills (Sprite, meatballs, pretzels, chocolate-dipped marshmallows, and a strawberry) ... doesn't look like it's much of a hit...hey, I didn't care, it kept him occupied...

and finally...

Causing mom and dad to burst with pride and joy and Happy New Year feelings that will last and last. Awwwwww. Look, all dressed up we're pretty festive!

Things I love

Sunrise. The cool, gradual lift of darkness.


My car. A comfortable ride.


Happy baristas at the drive thru.


The potential of a weekend and a Target gift card in my purse.

Starting to think

I am starting to really think about just HOW this thing is going to work, this BABY thing.

....HOW is it going to work, y'all??

I mean, we had our little routine for getting up and out of the house with one baby:

>get awakened 4:30 or 5am
>warm bottle
>feed bottle, snooze in chair
>place baby back in crib
>go back to bed and snooze a while, if lucky

...and that evolved naturally into "with one kid:"

>wake with alarm, hit snooze
>let kid sleep while we're showering
>wake kid, get him snack or breakfast
>turn on his shows
>get him dressed

We now get it done within about an hour-fifteen (and usually without much screamingKNOCKWOOD). But what exactly happens when you add another baby to that mix? We already wake up at the crack of dawn -- well, I mean, I KNOW that the actual 'crack' of dawn is entirely relative when there's an infant involved -- so am I going to have to wake up and feed the infant at 5:00 am and then just continue on to our regular 5:45 start-time for showers and cereal and shows and scurrying around the dresser and bathroom sink? I guess I will. With no extra time for the snooze button! What am I going to DOOOOO without my SNOOOOOOZE? Sob.

I would say screw the whole thing while I'm on maternity leave, we'll just wake up when we wake up... but we need to keep AJ on his regular schedule as much as we can because GOD KNOWS he is better when he's in his groove. He needs a hat or something that warns: "Does not respond well to change."

Oh wait, I just remembered -- at least during maternity leave I can take my Today Show nap. I mean, if this baby cooperates. It's just crazy that you can't predict! Anything! She may not sleep the same way AJ did! I'm going to have to re-learn everything... with an extra distraction just for a challenge, you know.

Where did I read yesterday... someone's comments section -- a mom said "You're just tired for 16 years. You get used to it."

Every mom is superwoman, I think -- especially those of you with more than TWO! I BOW IN YOUR DIRECTION, YOU AMAZING CREATURES.

The glow of pregnancy

Here's me, showing off my World-Championship Ladies Bowling League gear.

No, wait, that's not it. Those are my "ROCK ON!" eyes and snarl.

No... no... hang on, I'll get it: These are the wrist braces I purchased today from Walgreen's so that my hands will cease feeling like they've been ground to stumps with a hacksaw.

Carpal tunnel, baby. One of the many millions of things they just don't tell you about pregnancy. I never had carpal tunnel before -- even though I've worked mostly at the computer for ten years. AJ gave me a mild case, which never completely disappeared but had become mostly unnoticeable until a few months ago. But that was just some tingling and numbness. Baby #2 is really letting me know how much she needs my good blood flow with PAAAAAIN. So I'm sporting my Hott New Look for winter. In a lovely twist of fate, the weather's gotten warm enough for short sleeves here, for a couple of days, so I can't even hide these monstrosities under a nice sweater. I feel like the biggest dork! All for a good cause, of course, and the braces actually do seem to help. They're a bitch to type with (again, ironic since that's probably why/how I got it in the first place), but the real test will be sleeping with them tonight. That's when the pain level usually shoots up to eleven -- sometimes I'll wake up at night to pee and have to shake and massage my wrists out for ten minutes before they loosen back up.

In other pregnancy griping, my stomach hurts. Just... all the time. I mean, crampy kind of hurting. No, it's not REALLY all the time, just seems like a lot. Don't worry, I have counted. No more than one "contraction" (Braxton-Hicks, obviously) in any given hour. They just seem long. Maybe I'm doing too much. Maybe I need to spend more time on the couch with my friends Haagen and Dazs.

While I was in Walgreen's, I peeked at InStyle magazine's cover story on Katie Holmes. I had no idea she is 30. Here I thought she was a teenage bride but, not really. Just a girl, in love with a boy, OH SIIIIIGHhhhhh, and she loves being a mom. I was disappointed the interviewer didn't ask her one single time if Tom is as wacko as he seems. It was all, like, professional and benefit-of-the-doubt and stuff. Oh well. Katie said "the weather is here, wish you were [as] beautiful [as me]." (Truly, the photos of her were somewhat bizarre and beautiful.)

*********

Have I told you my secret weapon for parenting? J-E-L-L-O. I swear, the days I make it, you'd think I hung the very moon. Today, just hinting that there was Jello in the fridge for dessert meant AJ cleaned up his snack debris, played nicely with the neighbor kids, read stories willingly with his Dad while I got dinner ready, Pleased and Thank You'd all through the meal ("Mama, do you want me to please pass anything to you?"), patiently endured his bath/shampoo, and went to bed when I said "It's bedtime."

Maybe I'm wrong -- maybe it's the new dresser. But I think it's the Jello.

*********

Today I received my customized Starbucks gift card in the mail. Have you heard of this? You can create "art," or simply choose a coffee cup with your "signature" drink spelled out on it, or any number of other mod designs. I can't wait to use it tomorrow. Thanks, Mom!

More bold moves

First it was OUT with the list-making.

Then today, I actually said NO to something, just because I DIDN'T WANT TO DO IT. This all-good-for-me, all the time, attitude is surprising.

The commitment was a request to sub for a cantor at Mass this Saturday. At first, I quickly but reluctantly typed out, "Sure, I can take it, Ralph. Hope you have a very Happy Birthday. Send me the song list if you can." Then I backspace-deleted every letter and typed,

"Sorry, Ralph, I'm afraid I'm already committed for Saturday. Hope someone else can sub for you. Have a very Happy Birthday!"

(Even though guess what? I'm not committed!) DANG, that feels good. I hit "Send" with no regret.

Look at me, I'm all zen and stuff

Believe me, if I had anything to say, I'd be blogging it. People are writing such gosh-dang funny things these first few days of 2008. I'd say it's going to be another banner year for the Mighty Internet. I just hope I'll have something to contribute, too.

This weekend we're going to get a dresser for AJ's room, and once we have that, I feel like many other things will snap into place. I can move his clothes into there, and thus move Baby's clothes out of the corner of MY room, and once AJ's clothes are there, his toys might as well be, too, and I can CLEAN UP FREAKIN' CHRISTMAS which is as of yet, still strewn about the living room floor. (Just his toys, I mean, and the tree. Which we plan to take down tonight.)

(He's already sleeping in his new room, btw. I think he likes it there.)

So really, that one item of business ought to make my entire home come to order in one hot second -- at least that's how I'm choosing to look at it. All hail the dresser.

I have not made any single list in 2008. Not counting my work to-do list, of course. But I'll tell you, not having every item of crap in front of me on a dog-eared piece of paper has greatly helped my mood. I'm just taking things one at a time and trying to be careful of getting overwhelmed. Sometimes I start listing in my head, and have to stop myself. (Dreft... hospital bag... mostly baby-arrival things. But I have time.)

I wonder how long I'll be able to keep this up? More later. It's Friday night, after all!

Just fine, and how was yours?

I suppose the thing to do would be to get out my to-do list, place it neatly on my desk, and start a clean page with "Jan 2 - Jan 4," underlined. Then begin listing out the must-do work-tasks of the day: finish the XYZ sitemap. Start the annual review paperwork. Invoice job #4022. Update project tasks list.

But GAWD, doesn't that all sound depressing?

Instead, I'm still trying to enjoy some of the lingering scent of the holidays that have come and gone. (But not the evergreen centerpiece my mother-in-law sent us; no, no, it was lovely -- beautiful, even -- but I think my pregnancy hormones are misinterpreting pine needles. To me it smells like B.O. every time I walk by it. What a bummer. I usually love evergreen.) The scents I like to remember are the ones of tape and wrapping paper being ripped and balled up, of mashed potatoes that turned out smooth and not-too-salty, of plentiful Honey-Baked Ham leftovers but Taco Bell for lunch on the 27th ANYWAY, and this year, of bridesmaids' hairspray and delicious lemony wedding cake.

Yes, my brother-in-law got married Monday night, New Year's Eve! We had a fancy party to attend for the first time in... ever. It was nice to get all dressed up and go someplace with good food, a dance floor, and an open bar (Sprite for me, WITH LIME, oooooh). In general the "wedding weekend" was a bit of a logistical disaster, but I think that comes with the territory. I managed to keep my good attitude up front EXCEPT:

> a couple of hours before the wedding -- when my DARLING BIL the groom called his mother to "run to the mall" for him real quick, and by the way, if I come over would you make me something to eat?? ...and then...

> during the ceremony, for which AJ had walked BEAUTIFULLY down the aisle holding hands with me and generally making my heart burst with pride and joy, and looking SO ADORABLE in his tuxedo... when he began whining out loud for 15 minutes straight, "Mama I wantta go OUUUUUT. I wantta go OUUUUUT. I need to go POTTTTY. (Which he didn't, but was using as an excuse, to which I replied: Hush, honey, in one minute.) It's been ONE MINUUUUUUTE..... WAAAHhhh..." causing the minister to notch up his volume a bit for the ring ceremony. I finally decided there was nothing to do but take him out and I will always remember it as stomping back down the aisle and then speaking harshly to the little guy outside through embarrassed hot tears, as everyone else watched the bride and groom kiss and be announced as Mr. and Mrs. I hate that I couldn't just laugh and say "HEY, he's THREE," and forgive him on the spot for nothing -- he did nothing wrong, he was just himself, a three-year-old asked to stand in a fancy suit and be still. But I let my pride get the best of me.

Definitely lost my cool there for a moment.

I shouldn't even post that -- I'd rather not remember it, except when AJ himself gets engaged someday and has a three-year-old niece or nephew or cousin that he thinks would be a great nominee for "wedding party member." Heh.

Anyway, we're back, the New Year has begun. I may or may not make any lists today, and my only resolution is to try to make each day better than the last. I think that about covers everything.

Gerunds, and a well-planned Christmas morning

Am doing a bit of sorry-for-myself-feeling, what with the first-to-the-office-being today: Friday, the last day before vacation-beginning. I am the pregnant one! Shouldn't *I* be doing more easy-it-taking than most people? Yes, decidedly. But nooooo, I have project-managing to attend to. Stoopid money-making.

Anyway, last night I was talking with Maryb and she shared with me the very logical, sensible Christmas morning plan that her family has followed through the years. I want to write it down so that someday when my life turns organized and sensible (!), I can consider it.

First, some personal history. It seems our Christmas mornings as teens -- that is, the ones I remember most clearly, which became our usual tradition -- were slightly chaotic. We never liked going to the 4:00pm Christmas Eve Children's Mass at our church because it was standing-room only, and a little bit ridiculous. The youth group always did this crazy thing where, right before the blessing and dismissal, they sent an "elf" or "elves" up the aisle with jingle bells (one year the guy ran screaming and hollering excitedly - and very stupidly) to announce SANTA'S ARRIVAL! And then Santa would process around the church for a few minutes making all the children go wild and... well, it was just too much after a Mass that went over an hour in the first place. Not to mention ruining the solemnity of Christmas Eve, GAH. So we generally preferred singing with my cousins at the 8:30am Mass Christmas morning.

However! That meant waking up at the crack of dawn to get the presents opened (tree first, then stockings) and still have time for showers. Which we wanted to do before Mass, because right AFTER Mass we had all the family over for brunch, most of those years. It wasn't a BAD way to do it, but it wasn't quite cozy and relaxed. (No one's fault, Mom! Don't go feeling bad! Still good memories, I promise -- I mean, Christmas brunch?? That right there is divinely inspired.)

But here's how Maryb's family did it:

Wake up. Open STOCKINGS first. Her Santa *wrapped* all the stocking presents, and that was the way the kids knew which wrapping paper under the tree was "theirs." This way, Santa did not have to give himself away with his handwriting on gift tags! wink wink! Brilliant. Each kid had his own pattern and discovered it on his own. So while they did that, Mom and Dad had coffee, and Mom put cinnamon rolls in the oven. (Mmmm, cinnamon rolls.) Cozy.

After stockings, they took a break for breakfast. And that turned into a break for 8:30 Mass. Again, brilliant, because no one goes to 8:30 Mass on Christmas morning so it's nice and quiet, and really, the anticipation is almost as much fun as the opening of presents. Putting it off for one hour (8:30 Mass is quick since no one's there) didn't hurt anything. Then after that, they'd come home and tackle the presents under the tree. And have the rest of the day to play, or make dinner, or whatever.

Doesn't that seem smart to you? What's your Christmas morning schedule?

Our house hasn't really established one yet. Last year AJ woke up, glanced at the presents, then declared he wanted his Froot Loops. Ha! We waited. I have a feeling this year will be different, but we'll just have to see. I haven't decided about Mass times, and I want to do breakfast. Oh well, whatever way it works out will be perfect. It's the togetherness anyway, not the logistics. Have a merry one, everybody! :)

Round up: Thoughts

> I've simply got to get started on work, but don't have the necessary oomph. As any holiday approaches, my work motivation just starts seeeeeping out the cloth walls of the cube. By Friday I'll have nothing.

> We've finally started receiving Christmas cards, hooray! It's the only time of the year when getting the mail is actually fun. Unless you subscribe to Southern Living like I do, and then once a month you have a fun mailbox. I finally have enough cards to display them on the pantry door. One of AJ's big things lately is wanting to tape his artwork to every available cabinet door in the house, so this is a good project for him. Hey, I bought him a glue stick the other day. HOURS of fun! I just cut out random images from Reader's Digest, and he sticks them to a piece of construction paper! How easy is that?! He made his first masterpiece the other day and was SUPER excited to give it to Daddy "for his office." CUTE!!

> Speaking of artwork and 3 year olds -- are they supposed to be able to hold the pencil/marker/crayon correctly yet? AJ wants to write the alphabet, and sort-of can, but he's holding the writing instrument... mmm, how to describe?... his fist curls over the top of the crayon instead of around the side/back. DH and I debate over whether we should correct that or not. I'm sure he'll get it eventually. I kinda want to make it easier on him. However, he isn't much interested in trying the 'right' way, so I guess I just answered my own question: Leave him alone.

> We seem to have turned the corner on this latest round of tantrumy behavior from him. I tell ya, every time I should remind myself, THIS IS JUST A PHASE! But in the thick of it, you really forget. You start analyzing and doubting and being sad and worried. BOO for that! I suspect it is easier with the second child.

> She, by the way, was kicking/punching me on both sides of my stomach this morning at 3. Like SHE was having little fits. DEAR LORD, already??

> I got the daycare teachers $10 Target gift cards, and the 3 directors $10 Chick Fil A gift cards (because they get out for lunch). Everyone seemed pleased.

That is all.

Poppyseed Bread

Not necessarily festive, but altogether delicious!

(makes 2 loaves)

3 cups all purpose flour
2.5 cups sugar
1.125 cups (that's one and one-eighth cups) vegetable or canola oil
1.5 cups milk
3 eggs
.5 tsp salt
1.5 tsp baking powder ('exsqueeze me? baking powder?' I always think this. Still.)
1.5 tsp vanilla extract
1.5 tsp almond extract
1.5 tsp butter extract
2 tsp poppyseeds

Grease 2 loaf pans. Mix all ingredients together with a spoon, pour into pans, and bake at 350 for one hour.

Glaze:

.25 cup orange juice
.75 cup sugar
.5 tsp vanilla ext.
.5 tsp butter ext.
.5 tsp almond ext.

Bring to a boil and pour over hot bread.

Only thing hard about this recipe is that you may not have butter extract on-hand. But you SHOULD!! I found it at my regular grocery store. And it will seem like there is too much glaze. Not so! It'll soak in and make everything even more LOVELY.

PS - sorry about the decimals. I wanted to do 1/4c for the 1/4c items, but then it was inconsistent and I had to edit that. Decimals seem much less elegant but then again, cooking is the only science I've ever loved, so there ya go.

Um, just one more thing...

Two friends said they actually LIKE the stressy posts. So, stressy it is:

-- Why THIS WEEK of all weeks, did we have a virus attack one of our servers?? (Part of my company's job is that we host some web sites that we've designed, although we don't have servers OR technical people on-site. I.E., ME, I am not a technical person and I don't know how to fix it -- but I'll get to field the phone calls of pissed-off clients.) The one guy from our group who seems to enjoy fussing over and "deploying solutions to" this kind of problem is, of course, out of town. *Sing-song voice:* LOVE-LY!

-- And BTW, corporate IT who run our email: GET REMOTE WEBMAIL TO WORK, dammit! We're in the middle of a weekend server-virus-crisis but can't check our email because.... I don't know why because. Because our multi-national company still runs a crappy version of LOTUS NOTES instead of Outlook, like the rest of the free world.

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That's it for real stress this Monday morning. And do I really care? No. This weekend in family-world, we knocked a whole bunch of crap off the list, like mailing Christmas cards (whose idea...? nevermind), getting haircuts, buying and wrapping a few more gifts, and baking. I made Lemon Poppyseed bread, which is really more like cake, and I'll post the recipe soon, AND I made my favorite peanut-chocolate "cussters" as AJ is calling them. That recipe:

Melt some chocolate bark. Dump in some cocktail peanuts. Stir. Spoon into cluster shapes on wax paper. The end.

I also had lunch with a friend Saturday, and laughed and laughed with her, and then attended a really fun Christmas party with some other friends -- a cast of characters for sure -- that made me COUNT MY BLESSINGS. (Swistle: haHA! You're so right! But still.) Let's just say there were cards and appetizers and one man farting outright, which was gross and so NOT in the Christmas spirit, but... still funny, and I felt like PART of the group, and the women talked in one room while the men looked at a video game in the other room until we raised our eyebrows to the vaulted ceilings to get them to quit and come be merry with us. And they were. AJ was beyond cute and everyone told me so. I think he may even have beaten out a 10-month-old for receiving the Most Attention. Look, he may not be very socially active among his own generation, but the kid knows how to work a room of adults, I'll give him that. Could be a very handy skill one day.

Finally, one of my favorite things was putting my Christmas china front and center in the china cabinet on Sunday while AJ napped. It looks so festive and it makes me surprisingly happy to putter around --gently... ever...so...gently...-- with bone china. :)

Christmas Past, Present, and Future

So! *Brisk claps* (hat tip to Swistle) No more stupid stress-n-drang talk! Pinky swear.

On to fun holiday questionnaires from Sophie.


I'm supposed to tell you my favorite childhood gift, my favorite gift I received as an adult, and a gift I would like to receive in the future.

BUT FIRST: Important, and relative, Literature Question: In your opinion, did Scrooge have a really vivid dream, or was he ACTUALLY visited in the night by those famous Christmas ghosts? I mean, as "actually" as possible -- it is a story, after all. Just curious -- either way, he was morally moved and ultimately redeemed, so it's all good. I personally think it was a dream. But since it's a story, it COULD have been a real visitation...

My favorite childhood Christmas gift: It's pretty hard to decide. The two that stand out are my kitchen set -- a white wooden stove and sink that must have been hand-painted -- and my JAM BOX, received when I was about 11 and listening to the radio for the first time. Y'all, it had a DOUBLE tape deck. I pirated many a cassette with that gift. I believe that was also the year I received Wham! Make It Big and Mr. Mister, Welcome To the Real World, so I was rockin' hard core.

My favorite adulthood gift: The first Christmas DH and I were married, he surprised me with an extra stocking gift -- a velvet box with these teeny diamond chip earrings. He said, "I had to get you something sparkly." Awww. I don't wear them very often, but that doesn't mean I don't love them. They mean a whole lot to me. It was such a sweet, young-love romantic gesture.

A gift wish for the future: One day, probably not next year or even the year after that, but one day, I'd really like to do a kitchen remodel. It's not something that can be wrapped up with ribbons and bows, but it sure will take the place of any gifts for me the year we decide to do it!

No taggies today, if you want to play let me know so I can come see!

Alright, this is just getting insane

The lists are going to eat me alive. I'm making more lists. I'm making lists to organize my lists. I want to clean everything. I want to put away stuff in AJ's new room so when I glance in there I don't see loose screws and brackets rolling around on the nightstand. I want to BAAAAAAKE. Lemon Poppyseed bread, cookies, heck, I even want to make banana pudding which I don't really like (but hubby does) and I feel like Making Stuff and making him Happy. And I happen to have some pudding mix on-hand.

This is nesting, right?

Other things that are insane:
- That my manager can't say "Staff meeting at 10," he has to say "staff meet at 10." Meet. Never MEET-ING. Not even "Mtg." "meet." All lowercase. Makes me twitch.

- That my back-door neighbor, always a strange yardbird, and that's the only way we know him, really, by watching him do yardwork.... decided yesterday to pile all of his raked leaves in the drainage ditch that runs through his yard.... and ours. So, we're all under a drought watch and outdoor watering ban, right? He can't burn the leaves until we get about four feet of rain and are able to use our hoses again. And whose yard is going to flood if we DO get any rain? That's right, mine. His leaves are going to cause a backup, I just know it. So he burned a few last night in a barrel, which, despite the outdoor watering ban *HELLO SAFETY VIOLATION I WANTED TO CALL THE COPS,* was preferable to letting them sit in the ditch... I think?

- Three-year-olds.

- That this week my only two freelance projects both come due, GAH, while I have no free time because of an influx of office work projects, too! I'll handle it, just... pardon me one more time while I WHII-YI-Y-YIIINE.

- That AJ turned down his beloved Pop Tart this morning for a Clementine instead. What the... who the...?

I should point out that my Dear Husband could sense my sanity level sinking this weekend (might have been all the crying out loud) and ushered me out of the house on Sunday afternoon. I had my nails done. It was lovely.

EDITED TO ADD: Sorry, guys. Really sorry. I just revisited my archives from the last, what, 3 months? and every other post has been, "I'm stressed and I'm busy." BULLlAAAGHGAHH. So boring. I will try to come up with a different topic, I sware. ;)

Fat on top, but not "fat on time"

Or: el-e-e rambles on and on -- be warned

Something I forgot about pregnancy and weight gain, as I have gone about my merry way eating every brownie and snack-pack of M&Ms I can find, is that you gain weight not only in your belly, but also around the torso -- the shoulders and triceps and, naturally, the chestseses. Padding and extra fat for making milk and all that jazz. I was cruelly reminded of this fact yesterday when I took my bridesmaid dress to be altered. Horrifying. I haven't been wearing all that many spaghetti straps lately, you know. I hadn't noticed. I was a bit surprised to be so stinking voluptuous. These wedding photos are going to be happy memories, aren't they? Gaaah. Oh well, motivation I suppose. In the three weeks from now 'til the wedding, I don't suppose my little 2.5-pound handweights are going to do one ounce of good, especially since I plan to CONITNUE eating brownies. It's Christmas for Pete's sake. So screw it. I'll be the fat bridesmaid and everyone will marvel when they look back at 2007, and say, "Wow, she really lost that pregnancy weight, didn't she?" YES THEY WILL.

I feel like I just can't, and will never, catch up with my December schedules and to-do lists. Every time I scratch one item off, I definitely add a few others. Every day at lunch is some errand that must be accomplished TODAY. It's only the 7th but I feel like I'm already late shipping presents to Seattle and Virginia and various other locales. Is everyone else getting this unnecessary "hurry-up" vibe? I heard "It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas" this morning on the radio and thought, "Beginning?? Sheesh, people, where have YOU been? We're late, we're late for a very impor-tant-date!"

Deep breaths. Deeeeeep breaths.

Hey, I KNOW you people buy some holiday gifts that are perishables. Chocolates, fruits, etc. There comes a point in your life when you just don't think you need any. more. random. STUFF, so your neighbors and uncles and parents' friends, whose homes have been filling up 20 years longer than yours, don't either. Do you go with Hickory Farms or Harry & David, in those cases? Is there a favorite gourmet food gift that you give? We had a client once who always sent us Crate & Barrel's Christmas snacks, which are DIVINE. I like those. Last year, I was introduced to John & Kira's floral chocolates, and WOW. They're pretty snazzy. Sometimes I just run to World Market and pick up something that looks international, hoping it suffices. If you have some fancy regional or local food item that I need to check out and can order online (I have about 3 gifts of this sort that I need to buy), spill it!

Wouldn't it be fun to hear some of the RESULTS of all this Christmas-purchasing frenzy? I think it would. I can't tell you everything, because many of my recipients read this blog. But I can tell you a few things:

For Nanny (DH's grandmother): 2 twenty-five-dollar Schwann's gift certificates. We got her these last year and she hasn't stopped raving about how useful they were. She has shopped with Schwann's for years.

For my MIL: The new Eagles' CD; a hand-painted ceramic plaque that says, "I am woman. I am invincible. I am tired." (ha!) Saw that and loved it and it's definitely her style; an Emerilware skillet that she asked for.

For my FIL: a pair of jeans; a Thrashers ballcap; half of a new office chair (we're counting on my brother in law to pay the other half and actually purchase this -- I'm not sure he can be counted on, but I hope so. *Add to to-do list: DH needs to call BIL and remind him.*)

For my secret-Santa cousin: a book I think she will like (and now Sis probably knows who I got)

For AJ: Shake-n-Go Crash Cars racetrack; 2 new Imaginex dinosaurs (from Gammy, but posing as From Santa); an air-powered football kicker-guy; 3 Berenstain Bears books; a preschool-appropriate clock for his room (from Grandmommy but might pose as From Santa); and for his stocking, some animal figurines, loads of stickers, some candy, etc. etc. We're still mulling over the V-Tech or Leapster handheld. Can't decide. I'd love to hear what you're buying.

Add a Dash of Meaning

I'll admit that I got caught up in a bit of a frenzy right after Thanksgiving, in preparation for the small party we had this past weekend. We decorated the house and have been ordering and buying and wrapping presents... even baked some goodies. We also had a birthday party thrown in there for extra stress good measure, and so the "spirit" of the season so far has basically been one of Hurry Up and Git R Done, as we say here in Georgia.

However, I would really prefer to have an appropriately anticipatory ADVENT. (Say it 3 times fast: GO!) Last year I managed to remember that we "deck the halls" for a reason -- to quietly create a space in our homes and hearts to welcome the King. And this year.... well, we didn't make it to Mass on the first Sunday of Advent (or the last Sunday of Ordinary Time, either) if that's any indication.

It makes me sad when we don't make it to church. But that's another topic for another day.

Onward. Advent. Looking forward. I did let AJ help me set up our nativity scene on the fireplace hearth, and it felt good to share that with him, telling him who these characters are, and what they are doing at the stable. Of course, he wants to put them ALL in the "house," so they don't get wet when it rains. I have to keep telling him that the shepherd with that lamb in his arms can't go in, because that lamb is too loud and will definitely wake up the baby Jesus. And that the 3 wise men are just visiting -- it isn't their house and they didn't wipe their feet, so they need to stay outside and just watch.

It's cute, and he's learning the Christmas story bit by bit.

I'd like to do the following other Adventy, preparatory things this year:

1. Get an Advent wreath. I say this every year and have yet to do it. I like the idea of having one at home and then the kids noticing, hey, there's one at church, too! (This has more impact if we start GOING to church, ahem.) I'm not saying we need to do all the prayers around it or anything that devout; I just kinda feel like it'd be nice to have one. THINGS beget questions, and questions become teaching opportunities. And besides, I like candles and need a centerpiece for the dining room table.

2. Paint or make some ornaments. There's a great how-to here," -- hey, look at that, I'm an "editor!" what fun to collaborate with kara marie! -- but I might not actually BAKE ornaments. I think I have some ceramic ones already in a craft drawer somewhere. It's still a fun activity and maybe AJ can paint some and then decide whom he'd like to give them to. Thus teaching him about the spirit of giving, instead of receiving, see.

3. Hmm. Why don't you help me here. Do you do any Adventy things? A paper chain? A Jesse Tree (OVERACHIEVER)? Even if it's just driving around the neighborhood one evening, looking at all the lights (we're TOTALLY doing that, too). Make our December meaningful. :)

Cute-isms and oddities of the weekend

AJ was sitting at the table eating a snack, when his foot must have fallen asleep. He said, "Ow, Mama! My foot feels all sparkly!"

----

Saturday night, we woke to a little boy standing by the bed saying he'd had a bad dream. (First time this has ever been reported live and in person!) He naturally proceeded to kick us in the ribs the rest of the night, and was ready to wake up by 6:00am. Gah.

----

This morning around 4:30, Hubby woke me to point out that AJ was sleeping on the floor, in the corner of our room, wedged between the armoire and some CD binders. Why there? Who knows. We thought it best to return him to his own bed. He didn't mention it when we all woke up later, and we didn't ask.

Have yourself a ranty little Christmas

Listen, I understand that the radio stations are businesses, and that they have to play more than 12 songs in their rotations, in order that people will listen and not switch the station, in order to get the good ads. So I know that musicians need to write new versions of old songs. How else will the station fill 24 hours of Christmas Tunes, now 'til Christmas?? How, I ask you! But I have BONES TO PICK -- mostly music-nerd and English-nerd bones, so bear with me, here -- with some of the newest versions of 2 of my favorite Christmas carols. OH MY GOD.

First, someone has recorded a very swing-y, very filled-out version of "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas." There are a lot of embellishments and odd syncopations, and it is rubbing me the wrong way. Because, listen to the words: Merry Little Christmas. It's a little thing. A delicate, simple notion of Christmas. The words spell out what the music should be. The four even eighth notes of the original "mer-ry lit-tle" are ON PURPOSE, people.

That one gets a warning -- minor offense.

Over on the local Christian station, someone else has done a big band/swing version of "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas." This one doesn't bother me as much with its swing rhythm, because it's big band in very obvious ways, like lots of horns and a big, brassy, round vocal lead -- he sounds like Michael Buble or Harry Connick and I really like those guys. HOWEVER. This version has hijacked the lyrics for Extreme Right Evangelicalism and it pisses me off. It says,

"Through the years, we all will be together,
If His grace allows...
Hang a shiny star upon the highest bough..."

Nothing wrong with "If His Grace allows," I guess, but nothing wrong with saying "the Fates," either!! I mean, dang, it's just LITERATURE. Just mythology, the first stories the world ever had. But NOooo, we wouldn't want to allude to something other than GOD allowing things to happen, not even innocent, literary Fate. That wouldn't be Christian enough. Errrrrrgh. Annoying. I almost can't listen to this one.

Traffic ticket. You have violated the song in a big way.

Finally. This week I have heard 2 separate versions of "The Little Drummer Boy," both with LOUD drums and/or background vocals like Doo-wops or Doot-doots, intruding on the song. Here again, you idiot "songwriters" of today: LOOK AT THE LYRICS. The beauty of this song is its simplicity. The older, choral version (that thankfully, you still hear on the radio), barely has any accompaniment. That is no accident! The haunting silence of the moment where the little drummer boy offers to play his drum is what MAKES this song. Am I right? The pause before... "Then... He smiled at me...." ?? Is BEAUTIFUL. Makes your throat catch in the back. BEGS to be followed by a reverent, appropriate ending: "Me and my drummm." My simple, tiny, seemingly insignificant drum. That made God the baby smile. NOT my LOUD, FAST, BASHING DRUM-SOLO DRUM, which is, I swear, what one of these ridiculous versions served up.

APPALLING. Go to Jail. Go directly to Jail. Do not pass Go, do not collect any candy canes from me.

Score!

Shopping solo on lunch break: One of the perks of being a working mom.
Also, shopping for clothes: One of the perks of being pregnant. Must shop! No alternative, nothing fits! (Certainly can't go naked, no one wants that!)

Anyway, I totally forgot there's a Motherhood store by my office. Went in there today and spent a cool Benjamin - lots on sale.

These two sweaters for $14.99 each. Totally can be dressed up or down. Not too heavy (it's only in the 50s-60s here, not freezing arctic like the Old Navy Christmas commercials want you to think).

Precious pink (almost too pink, but my heart called out to it) blouse. Not on sale, but I will wear it a lot between now and Feb 24th, and it'll help ease Hubby's transition to the Pink-i-Side Layer. ("CATS" reference. Anyone? Bueller?)

Check out this ruffley blouse. NINE-ninety-nine, baby. I almost bought two. Probably should have, but I also needed jeans, and found some in Large-Petite. I don't think you need a visual on jeans, but they're appropriately cute.

I am proud of myself and happy to have some new things. I looked for a coat/jacket -- don't think I can get through all of winter without one that closes properly in the front -- but they didn't have my size. Bummer. Shopping is fun if you allow yourself!

I also went to Party City for some pirate-costume stuff. Our next-door neighbor turns four, and wants a pirate party with everyone (including parents) dressed up. ARRRRgh, matey. But at least PC had some stuff -- eye patches, small swords, a Jolly Roger hat. AJ is going to be cute again this weekend, pictures to follow!

Then I bought a 6-inch Subway and SunChips. Score, again. It's been a VERY good day so far.

Thursday Thirteen

There's a girl in my office who just graduated from college in May of '07, so this is her first year in the real world of No Christmas Month Off. It has made me remember of some things I loved about Christmastime in college.

1. Um, having a MONTH OFF. We used to finish exams around the 9th or 10th of December, and not return from Winter Break until January 6th or something. That was so awesome.

2. Finals and Reading Week. Yeah, I know that's crazy, but I was a nerd. I liked having no classes to attend, and getting to manage my own study-time however I saw fit. I especially liked the exams that weren't "exams" so much as "homework," like the take-home tests in English. Holing up in a cozy library study carrel for hours. Pages of essay questions, and you could use your textbooks for reference. They were tiring, but not as stressful as a timed scan-tron form.

3. Being in the chorus. We always performed a Festival of Nine Lessons and Carols, which I'd never heard of until college. (My previous Catholic choirs didn't do all the fancy Anglican stuff back at home! Such a tragedy!) It was a busy time but the biggest extra-curricular event of my year, for four years. I loved everything about it -- choir robes, candles, processions, decorating the huge church, the solemnity, readings from a King James version, professors in regalia, and of course, the music.

4. I especially loved the years when my parents came for the Festival -- and freshman year, when Maryb came with them.

5. There's one spot on campus I can remember feeling very "wintery;" a small bridge that went over the creek. Always felt quaint and silent to me.

6. Making mix tapes (TAPES!) of my dorm-mates' Christmas music. I know I had at least 2 of these and they were so fun. One has John Denver singing with the Muppets.

7. I didn't love this at the time, but I love to remember the fact that I sometimes rode home with the most RANDOM people -- people I didn't really know, but who lived near Pensacola and left a "ride-share" note on the campus post office wall. I can think of one group, especially, that was just an odd combination of kids, but turned out to be a decent road trip. I just think it's funny, spending that time with basic strangers, whom I've never seen again and didn't impact my life in any real way -- but they were part of it.

8. Ohmigosh, I nearly forgot -- Mark and Jason's annual Christmas party! Two friends of mine always put on a huge bash in their basement apartment before we left for home. One of the "features," besides Dundee's Honey Brown, was a huge sheet of white butcher paper, fastened to the dark hallway wall, where we'd draw pictures and write stupid drunk messages to each other. I mean, um, not me, Mom... I wrote stupid sober messages of course.

9. Shopping for my family at Lenox Mall, which, at the time, felt so refined and big-city. I especially loved taking the shuttle with my friend, Kim, before I had my car on campus.

10. Care packages from Mom and Dad. I think I received one with hot chocolate once. :)

11. Mistletoe. Not kissing under it, but the fact that it was growing in the trees on the quad. I'd never seen it "live" before -- didn't know where it came from, actually, 'til I saw it at college.

12. Christmas cards. Actually sending some of my own, after I got home for break, to friends from all over that I'd met at school.

13. Senior year, my roommate and I moved off-campus to an apartment of our own. We got our first Christmas tree and hosted a "trim-the-tree" party where we asked each guest to bring an ornament. Some friends made ornaments, others bought them, and I still hang some of them on our family tree, now. Fun to remember where they came from. I think new couples should do this so if you know of someone who's having an "our first Christmas" this year, pass this idea on!

Happy Thursday! Go visit other participants! thursdaythirteen.com

One of our holiday traditions

The holidays for me (and my Mom -- did I tell you I'm turning into my Mom?) are all about Tradition. That's with a capital T, and the word pops out of our mouths more than absolutely necessary: when we do something that we may have done once before. I guess we just want to attach meaning to family time, in every possible instance. For example, buying Barnie's "Santa's White Christmas" flavored coffee, which I did yesterday at my regular old Publix: We have to say, "It's Tradition," with a grin. For some reason we feel the need to declare that fact, even though... who cares what kind of coffee I buy? (My Mom does.)

It's delicious, by the way.

Last night we began getting out all our Christmas decorations, and I decided we needed to put up the tree, hang ornaments with AJ, and then toast with hot chocolate, per Tradition. We're having a small party on Saturday night and I want the house to be decorated. (Aside: I'm pretty darn excited about this party, even though it's not a big deal -- not a "Christmas Open House" or a fancy "Holiday Desserts and Champagne" kind of shindig where everyone dresses in velvet and black patent leather. It's just a few work buddies and their spouses. But A) it's a grown-up party -- all the people we've invited are older than me, no college friends (heh), and B) Every year I LONG to have a holiday party but never really have the time or the momentum to schedule one. So this year, thanks to Husband's momentum, I get to! I also got to go to the mountains in the early fall this year, so some of the things I've wished were Tradition are maybe coming to be. ...and you see how neatly I snuck that in? I've done these things exactly ONCE but I'm declaring them.) I was supposed to put a few things up, like the wreath and some candles, while I worked at home yesterday, but it just didn't happen so I already felt behind. Then AJ lingered over his dinner and dilly dallied while NOT washing his hands as asked, so we were getting pretty thin on time.

I'm making a short story long. What I want to tell you is that our Tradition, every year, is to hurry with the artificial tree primping and fluffing -- yes we use an artificial tree and we LOVE IT. It's totally paid for itself for 5 years running and I think it has at least 2 more years of life in it. Then I typically start wrapping the lights around, starting at the top. Then DH looks at me and says, "Oh... you're starting at the top?" Then I get defensive and say, "YES. This is how I do it every year." Rrrr. If he's so smart why do *I* do it every time, I wonder.

He turns, and probably rolls his eyes while he continues checking strings at the nearest outlet. I get two strings placed in the branches, then realize the prong ends aren't going to line up right with the extension cord at the bottomdammit. Meanwhile, DH has found 2 strings that are half multi-colored and half dead. So we explain to AJ that the lights don't work and the lights are a grown-up job but the ornaments are a kid job, and we really just can't do ornaments until tomorrow night. (And I am so glad we hadn't told him about the hot chocolate.)

He complies reluctantly and once he's in bed, I'll SIGH and say, "WHY is putting up the lights always so difficult?" And DH tells me the story (a Christmas story!) of when he lived with his 2 married friends, Andy and Pam, and how every year Andy "did the lights all wrong" according to Pam, who would get so mad she'd leave the house, so he thinks Christmas lights aren't really a good activity for a marriage. -- I SWEAR, he tells me this story every year because I ask him. Every year! -- So then I go to Walgreen's or Target (daily mention) to pick up a few more strings of lights, and we start at the bottom this time with the lights plugged IN, Duh, and do the squint tests and finish in about a half-hour. We're usually still on speaking terms after this.

Can't you just hear Tevye singing?

Things I am thankful for, re: our trip

• Because my brother in law was away, we got to sleep in his very comfortable king-sized bed (we usually have an older, floppy full-size).
• Emeril's Butternut Squash, Sausage and Wild Rice soup added a special touch to our turkey dinner (at least to me it did).
• We had a nice lunch with some family friends on Saturday, and got AJ and DH fitted for their wedding tuxes -- the mall was deserted by Saturday!
• My MIL really restrained herself, I think, with the Christmas gifts for AJ. We didn't have to rent a U-Haul to get them all home (an improvement over last year)! Also, am thankful that she's so generous and wants him to have one of everything. :) Also, am thankful that she didn't load ME down with Christmas tchotchkes ("Here, take this, it's so cute").
  
• While excessive, the 4 Xmas gifts he DID get to open from family friends were very cool and he's played with all of them a lot already.
• The bathroom remodel at MIL's house -- new counter and cabinets! Pretty!
• Staying up late Friday night to watch The Departed. I don't know why but that made me happy.
• Of course, turkey-dressing-cranberry-sauce sandwiches.
• AJ said he had so much fun, and was sad to leave Gammy's house, and that is how it should be for a kid. :)
  
• Traffic was not that bad coming or going.

How was yours? Did you survive your annual family drama? (I made my own, in my head, but I *think* I managed to keep my opinions to myself and my general demeanor pleasant. I hope so; I can be a brat and know I need to work on the demeanor thing. I likely won't talk about it here, btw. If you can't say something nice, and all.)

Welcome to the Christmas season! (My to-do list is a mile long!)

There is no one in my office but me

When I used to ride to work with DH, we came to the office really early, and sometimes arrived before anyone else. I always liked that "silent time" and was always slightly disappointed when the next worker-bee would trudge up the stairs. Today is the pseudo-holiday, so lots of folks are out and it's been a loooong time since I've been alone in the cube farm. (Or alone, period, really, save my commute-time.)

Alone is GOOD.

I used to relish time alone when I was a kid -- I remember going into my closet, flipping the light on and shutting the door, just playing by myself or reading, listening to a record, or rearranging my stuff on the shelves. It was like a whole secret room and no one else was allowed. (The cool thing about that closet? It was wallpapered and carpeted. Go my parents! Nice feature!)

This morning while driving I listened to "The Rosary is a Place," the CD I won from Et tu's Jen a few weeks ago. I was convinced that I would think it hokey, despite my great love of Christian music and such, especially the heartstrings-tugging kind that makes me cry sometimes. But the rosary, recorded? Hmm. I knew my soul probably needed that CD, and that's what I'd told Jen, but... I don't know. As Maggie says, I'd probably rather be watching TV.

However, the CD is... nice. It has a gentle-looking Franciscan priest on the cover, and I like the Franciscans. They staffed our parish when I was a kid so they feel like "home." And I like saying the Rosary once in a while during the ol' morning rush-hour. I don't know if that makes me odd, or a religious nut, but it's sure a heck-of-a-lot more calming than watching the cars around me, or listening to NPR talk about Pakistan AGAIN. (I love NPR, too, but I swear, sometimes they get a story and won't.let.it.go. coughHurricaneKatrinaVictims'Plightcoughcough! I don't want to hear any more about Per-Vez Musharraf or however you spell it.)

Anyway. So far today, that's been my theme. Quiet. Meditation. Nice music and prayer. And I think that's a fitting way to go into the Thanksgiving holiday, especially one that is so often about loud dinner guests who've had too many bourbon-and-Cokes, or the familiar discomfort of having a snarky great-aunt, or just COPING with those we love the best. Heh. Perhaps the least-treasured American Thanksgiving tradition, but tradition all the same. I'll be with my in-laws... and the three bounding dogs and the TV-always-on and the talky talky. It's just us, a small group of five, and I really love my in-laws: It's just not quiet there. (Is Thanksgiving quiet anywhere? I rather doubt it.)

Here's hoping you find your own hushed moment somewhere to give thanks, a full plate of side dishes (which we all know are better than the turkey anyhow), and laughter all the way around the table. Happy Holiday.