I'm it

And by that I mean, someone tagged me! Chantal at Bread Crumbs in the Butter (and everyone else) is doing this meme and hey, I’ll admit to being a joiner.

Ten Years Ago:
In September, 1995, I was just beginning my senior year of college, for the first time living off-campus in a cute little apartment with my friend Cantus. It was an effort for me to ask my parents to let me do this, and I don’t know if by doing it, I was bleeding them dry, but I was also excited to have just started a work-study job that paid – get this -- $5.25/hour! I said in my diary, “But it’s about to go up to $5.75! Hope I can pay my bills!” Oh, the innocence. I “didn’t know from bills” back then! ...I was also dating, long-distance, My College BF (it had been 2 years by this point). He’d graduated a year earlier than me and moved home to Texas. I was whine-ily missing him in the particular diary entry I found for this date. *dry-heave* He wasn't a bad person, it's just that I'm realizing now what I thought was Love was really just a ginormous crush. I had a crush on him my whole freshman year, then he kissed me sophomore year, and I thought I'd died and gone to heaven. So I stuck with it longer than I should have. ANyway....!

Five Years Ago:
I was engaged to be married to DH, and had just moved myself into what would be our first little apartment home together. I had “split up” with Cantus and cried about it – it was the end of a long era of being roommates and best pals! – but was definitely enjoying having a place ALL to myself. What a treat! I was shopping for bridal dresses (I remember doing this all alone and feeling lonely), and working at the Job I Hated. That was possibly the oddest time of my life – I was living alone for the first time in my life, yet very much together with Soon-To-Be-Husband. I was thrilled and In Love, but Hated my job. It was All Paradox, All the Time.

One Year Ago:
One year ago, actually, I was counting out the last remaining hours of my maternity leave, grieving that 12 weeks -- what seemed like a lifetime of job-free days, at the beginning! -- could fizzle out so soon. I was making sure to sit outside in the cool early fall morning air each day, nuzzling the sweet little folds of AJ's creamy skin, and cooing at him, teaching him the difference between a cardinal’s "peep, peep" and a blue jay’s distant chirp. I was also walking, daily. That was nice. And I was finally comfortable with his feeding and napping schedule. It took me forever to get confident that whatever worked for us, was OK. I had read wayyyy too many books. I was sad, a year ago. Did I say that? I couldn’t imagine how to leave him.

(But we did it, and we managed, and look how far we’ve come.)

Yesterday:
I was at the office from 8-4, working working. And checking things off the list. I had lunch with DH in the lunchroom. Afterwards, I was at home with AJ, who’d had a bit of a rough tummy according to his Wonderful Teacher -– but he seemed just fine and dandy to me. I was making boxed Mac & Cheese (Gerah!) with broccoli and tuna -– a mighty delicious dinner if I do say so myself. Then I was briefing DH on the goings-on, handing AJ over, and sneaking out to choir practice. Then I was singing. Then I was rolling my eyes. Then, thanks be to God, I was home again, watching Lost and folding itty-bitty socks.

Five Songs I Know All The Words To:
The Morning Mambo, by Bear
Insomniac, by Billy Pilgrim
Livin’ on a Prayer, Bon Jovi
Lord of All Hopefulness
Another Suitcase in Another Hall, from Evita

Five Snacks:
Chips and Salsa
Chips and Guacamole
Chips and cheese dip
Chips and bean dip
Chips and I don’t know, what else is there?!… Um… Peach Salsa

Five things I'd do with 100 million dollars:
Lordy. Buy a new house. Well, first, fix up and sell this one. DECORATE new house. Buy husband a new car. (Or three.) Hire an accountant.

Five places I'd run away to:
Paris
Canada
Minnesota
Colorado
Episcopal Church

Five things I would never wear:
A wet suit
A Scuba tank
Gauchos
Leg warmers
army fatigues

Five Favourite TV Shows
Lost
Queer Eye
Amazing Race
Will & Grace
Ally McBeal

Five greatest joys
Husband
AJ
Family
Singing
Great food

Five favourite toys:
? I have no idea.


Current Reads:
Good Wives
Parenting magazine (I’m a sucker, I read it)
A Million Blogs
Real Simple magazine
My cookbooks

Five People I am tagging to do this:
I think a lot of my peeps have already done it. Krissy? Have you? SDW? Feel like a goof-off exercise? Beansy? Indigo Girl? Stacie? How 'bout it?

How he melts my heart

I think I stole that title from my friend at poop & suits. But hers was about Baby. Mine is about Husband.

Have you ever heard the theme song to Charlie and Lola? Go to that link right now and listen. It's not particularly sad, I don't think, but it is kind-of sweet, and obviously British, so it's different from the music of most of our US kids' shows. Well, AJ, in his love for Playhouse Disney, hears this theme song quite a bit as he waits for Breakfast with Bear. (I'd link it, too, but I'm lazy. Bear's his actual favorite.) As a result, Husband and I hear it quite a bit. We sing it to each other for a laugh sometimes, when we're not singing Elmo's theme song, or Bear's.

The sweetest thing is, Husband says this Charlie and Lola song makes him kind-of sad. When he thinks about it at work. When he's away from his little boy.

It isn't even Friday

...and yet, I'm playing stupid Internet games!

Your 80s Heartthrob Is

Kirk Cameron

Who's Your 80's Heartthrob?

Ah, Kirk -- I did have quite the crush on him at one time. He was always in my "M-A-S-H" lineup, along with Ricky Schroeder when he was Ricky. :) Too funny.

Bonne anniversaire a toi

And zat, my frennz, is how ve say Happy Birz-day En Francais.

It was my Mom's birthday yesterday. And many bloggers I know would have written a long, loving letter to Mom, a letter that would make readers weep with its beauty, and actually feel like they could hang on the strength of that bond of biological goodness connecting one to the other. My blog, however, sat dormant while I struggled to corral the papers on my desk. Those stinking papers would not be tamed. Every time I delved into one project, the guy from the other project called me to interrupt. And I couldn't sit for five minutes and DO something without having to get up to go do something else. Frustrating. I did call my Mom and tell her I love her (I do, y'know), and I sent a card. I didn't manage a present. It's hard enough for me to get groceries (sorry, whine) let alone get a gift, wrap it, and get to the post office to send it. WHERE IN THE HE** IS A POST OFFICE, anyway? I can't find one near our new office.

So Mom's either getting a belated (online) gift, or none at all. Terrible. I'm her first-BORN! It is I that MADE her a mother! And yesterday I failed her. ;) Luckily, she is very kind and said, "Oh, honey, you don't have to send gifts." When meanwhile I know my cousin and cousin's wife who don't even have the money to spend on presents, got her one, and went to her party. So, the guilt. Terrible.

Even WORSE: I completely forgot my friend's birthday on the 24th!! Cantus NEVER EVER forgets my birthday. She was my roommate in college and for 4 years after, until I met DH. She is a dear, dear friend even though I hardly ever see her anymore, since she lives Inside the Perimeter and I live OTP. I called her up on a whim yesterday and as it was ringing.... I remembered. So instead of a happy little "I was thinking about you" voice mail, I had to leave her a "I'm so sorry, happy belated" voice mail. Bummer.

It makes me mad, sort-of, that my life as a working mommy has made me so much LESS focused on my friends and family. I feel like, when I talk to Mom and Dad on the phone, it's so one-sided and "Here's what else we did. And then this. And then AJ did this cute thing, and this, and this one, too." And I also hate having to talk TO him while I'm on the phone with them, because Before I was a mommy, that was a serious pet-peeve about other Mommies I knew. (What can I say? I didn't know things then.)

"Honey, no no don't touch that cord... Hang on, yeah what were you saying about the wedding? Oh, yes, I agr -- no, NO, AJ. Come over here, let's look at your puzzle. Mm-hm, mm-hm, definitely wear the green one... good job, AJ! Yeah, with the strappy sandals."

I know my parents love to hear all that stuff, but it still feels different from how we used to talk. Mom and I (and Sis) can sit at the kitchen table All Day and chat about nothing much. But in that time we learn so much about each other, and share opinions, and often get very Philosophical. Used-ta could on the phone, too.

And I just hate forgetting someone's birthday. Because when it's MY birthday, I LOVE getting the phone calls and cards in the mail, especially from people other than family. Like Cantus. Or my cousins. I want to be the girl who sends (at least e-) cards, every year. Who thinks about Other People once in a while.

I need to set alarms, I guess, to ensure I vill remembah zeez tings.

It's not a brain-cloud

...it's a house-cloud. This weekend our refrigerator died. Or at least, fell on its back gasping. Clutching at its heart. I'm sitting here with Boris now, who's replacing the defrost mechanism. To the tune of $400, la-la-la. Our poor house. Can't get out from under this pox it's got.

Friday fives

Let's all give a high-five to the weekend! This week has crawled by. To celebrate: Friday's Feast:

Appetizer
Name something someone has done lately that impressed you.
My friend showed me something yesterday that she figured out all by herself. It was a workaround solution to a problem I had, and she saved me about 40 bucks and a lot of downloading time. Nice! She is entirely too smart and I sometimes wish I could figure stuff out like she does. It is impressive.

Soup
Do you have any relaxing rituals? If so, what are they?
I do love to take a nice bath. There's not much ceremony to it, I just soak and sigh!

Salad
If you could spend the winter season somewhere other than your current location, where would you choose to stay?
Oooh, the winter season! Well, my husband has a fascination with Colorado, and I did, once, go skiing there and stayed in a nice cabin in the mountains. I think it'd be fun to hole up like that for the winter. We might actually see some snow, and have a fire every night, and have to wear boots. The novelty would be just about right for a 3-month stay (although I know winter lasts longer out/up there!) Winter for us isn't much of a season -- just cold and sometimes rainy. There's absolutely no magic to it. We sometimes get snow but it's never until the end of March, when we're ready for it to be spring already. I'd like to experience the tall, silent pine trees, blanketed with snow and dripping icicles. Once.

Main Course
When was the last time you had dinner out, and what was the name of the restaurant?
My last dinner out... let's see... that would have to have been months ago weeks... no, wait, when we went to Savannah on the 9th-10th we went out to dinner at The Lady & Sons. Spent a boatload of cash, had wine, appetizers, desserts...y-u-m-m-y.

Dessert
If you had a boat, what would you name it?
(Great reference: Lyle Lovett's "If I Had a Boat." One of my very favorite songs ever.) I've seen so many great boat names in the marinas in Florida. Like, The "Her Diamond." The "Jack N A Splash" (ha!). The "Nograstomo" (get it?). People are so clever. However, being that I'm not much for sea legs, I'd probably have to name mine the "Lady Dram-a-Mine." Or else, the "Ku-ku Ka-choo" (from Finding Nemo, duuude)!


And now, let's get our grateful on:

• For my little man, who woke up so sweetly this morning and makes every day worth waking up for...
  
• For my grown-up man, who's making difficult decisions at work this week, but keeping his loyalites to our family and our quality of life....and still remembering to take good care of me with kindness...
  
• For getting things checked off the to-do list at work...
  
• For good music, and even the songs that get stuck in my head, because they make me think of loved ones, lately...
  
• For a life that's full and satisfying, if a bit overcrowded sometimes... this is the way it's supposed to be, isn't it? Family, work, dinner, singing, driving, rushing, cleaning, sighing, playing, reading, tickling, answering, striving, wishing, trying... living.
  
• Updated 10:25 am to add: Grateful for that We had pasta with fresh basil last night. Fresh basil that is planted in my (container) garden, which is something I've longed for, for many moons. So fresh! So sweet! So delicious with lemon and parmesan. :)
  

A-Brewin'

God in heaven, what is the meaning of the violent storms?? MUST WE? AGAIN? And of course, what's going to happen is the political bull---t; how, just because Texas is MOBILIZING and getting the HELL out of DODGE, everyone's going to say, "ohssshure, that's GEORGE BUSH's home state, no WONDER the federal government's taking care of the TEXANS..." and that is a bunch of CRAP. One of my co-workers already tried to start something like that this morning and I am telling you, I do not want to HEAR IT. I just about put my headphones on WHILE HE WAS TALKING. If the Texans are getting evacuated it is because no one, not one state, could possibly have missed the news in the last 4 weeks, and perhaps now we've all seen what can happen and We Are Not Stupid! If FEMA is sending water and supplies it is because, well duh! I mean, it's because they have to! They've already been roasted and raked, they can't afford to screw it up again, so they won't. I'm just sick and tired of all the politicizing, and don't tell me my head's in the sand. If the Prez HAD gone on TV the day of the last Incredibly Devastating Hurricane, what would that have accomplished? The people who needed his Capital-R Reassurance? ...They Didn't Have Power, Y'all. The people who began criticizing were, what? Sitting at their TVs waiting to see him on there? (Read: Also not helping.)

Anyway, forgive my rant -- I am SO against party politics it isn't even worth engaging me, because I'm not going to answer -- but can't we just for once, STAND TOGETHER and cluck our tongues at the severity of NATURE? Without having to wonder who caused it? And wouldn't it be nice if somehow, storms could magically Dissolve just the same way they appear (only backwards)?

Infinite possibilities

I present... my To Do list!

(AJ's at daycare and I'm WFH today, so I have grand delusions that I'll accomplish oodles of things that normally are left by the wayside. Shut up, I know -- less typing, more doing!)

1. at least 2 hours of content input make that 5.5 hrs -- SCORE!
   
2. at least 2 hours of content writing
   
3. go to the nursery (plants, not kids) and get pots, soil, and plants
   
4. two loads of laundry
   
5. make pie
   
6. plant new containers while AJ plays alongside me
   

See what I mean? Delusions. But a girl's gotta dream.

Same old

There are some great discussions happening on the 'net. Selkie's got homeschooling, Gerah's got full-time-working-mom questions, and I've got... the following.

blah blah blah blah not really feelin' work today blah blah blah blah the "Morning Mambo" is stuck in my head (from Disney Channel) blah blah blah blah at least husband told me I'm Pretty blah blah blah blah blah I definitely need new shoes blah blah blah blah neck still hurts blah blah blah blah blah blah blah am hungry for breakfast blah blah blah blah ooh, better put a load of laundry in blah blah blah blah blah some days I wish I was a novelist with really great stories that needed telling blah blah blah blah guess I need to get to work.

20 random things

Please tell us 20 random things about yourself. Keep track of how many minutes you take, and tag that many people to perform this exercise themselves.
8:05 am

1. My neck is very sore this morning, for the 2nd day in a row. I can't turn my head in any direction.
2. I drink coffee every weekday morning. 2 Splendas, Fat-free half-n-half.
3. I am doing CMS training today.
4. I'm still wearing sandals even though it's almost officially Fall.
5. I pulled a few weeds this weekend.
6. I've been reading a book for a month now and am only on Chapter 3.
7. I even like the book.
8. My watch battery has been dead for 3 weeks.
9. I'm getting used to going without a watch.
10. I took at least 1 music class every semester of college, but have no music degree.
11. I majored in French but can't speak it confidently anymore.
12. I only have 3 pairs of earrings that I wear regularly.
13. I have a U2 song stuck in my head.
14. I love yoga.
15. I forgot to get milk, of all things, last time I went grocery shopping.
16. I hate getting my feet wet in dew-soaked grass.
17. But I often go barefoot, when I go outside.
18. My favorite candy bar is Whatchamacalit.
19. I used to love going to the teacher-store (school-supplies store) when I was little.
20. I have green tea & aloe fragranced hand soap, which smells yummy.

End:8:11 am

I'm not tagging 6 people, but I finished this faster than I thought I would. I barely know 6 people on the Internet! Join in, if you like, in Comments or your own blog.

Radios should have a "replay" button

I had to do an aural double-take this morning when, after the local NPR affiliate's traffic guy gave me the low-down on the highways and byways, he said: "This traffic report sponsored by the WWE Friday Night Smackdown."

Something just not quite right about that.

Like the Tower of Pisa...

I'm leaning toward not singing in "Herod." As flattered as I am by the invitation, and as much as I think it'd be a fun endeavor, I am haunted by this: "They're only young once." I don't think it's unreasonable for me to crave as much time as possible with my little one. IF I were a full-time SAHM, the story would be entirely different. But three nights out of seven is too many to be away, and, I think, a big request to make of my spouse, and those nights don't even include Book Clubs and Date Nights. I just felt egocentric & bratty, wanting to chase my precious vocalist/soloist dream, and while I *definitely* want to teach AJ to pursue his interests and use his talents, I also want him to know -- to believe, deep in his bones -- that family matters most in this world.

Besides that, I have gotten just about NO work done today. It would behoove me to to be home tonight, WRITING. And not in my blog. :)

I really appreciate all your advices.

The Longest Post Ever Written, Ever

I’ve been composing this entry since about 5:00 p.m. today while in my car, so forgive me if it’s a bit disjointed, ‘cause there’s a lot of information in me that wants to get out. It’s been swimming around in my brain all afternoon and I’ve been saying, “hold onto it, just hold onto these thoughts,” because they’re good ones and I don’t want to lose them. There’s going to be run-ons and stream-of-consciousness, though, because all of a sudden today -- this week, really -- I am VERY conscious. Meaning I have lots of thoughts. That want to pour out. So pour, they shall. Forgive me in advance, it’s going to be Lo-Hong.

What I wanted to title this was The Navy Blue Girl with the Little Umbrella, and channel her because when it rains, it pours, and it has been pouring on me lately. In the form of:

…Work…
I mean to tell you, I am BUSY as a little bee these last coupl'a weeks. It’s going well, actually – much to my surprise I am enjoying the art of Project Management for two clients, whose websites are being produced in roughly the exact same time frame. With roughly the exact same designers and writers doing both. And meanwhile writing content for a third site. And meanwhile, needing to input content for a fourth site, that I wrote months ago, but all of a sudden after sitting, is hot-hot-hot. IT’s a little crazy. I send emails all day and coordinate this and don’t forget that, and schedule one thing right as I’m crossing another off my list. (And this is NOTHING, NOTHING in comparison to the work that some of my colleagues do every day who happen to read this blog; just want them to know I realize that my blip on the screen is their MAJOR PROJECT!, and I appreciate very much the idea that they do really hard work day in, day out.) But I’m rather swamped. Yesterday as I walked in my clicky high-heeled sandals to our weekly tech meeting, carrying my laptop with me and feeling a little bit self-important, I thought of my best friend MB. She’s been a SAHM her whole married life, and has often said how she envies me and my career. I thought, “This is exactly the kind of situation she probably craves –- got my hair all done, wearing a skirt and a new blouse, feeling all career-minded, carrying my laptop. So “Executive” am I. And she WANTS this. And that made me LIKE IT just that tiny bit more, yesterday. Not that I want her jealous, that’s not what I mean –- just that there’s someone out there in the world who’d like to do this, and I GET to do it. But then today, after sending the aforementioned emails and coordinating etc., it all bubbled up in my head and seemed so superficial and so unnecessary. All this random crap, paperwork, clients, office supplies, deadlines –- I don’t know what to do about it but because I was feeling overwhelmed, I guess, my brain started wanting to release it all –- just to scatter it away because it’s too much, too much stupid bogus rat-racing. Maybe that’s how this post got started. Anyway, those are my thoughts about work.

…Choir and Life…
Okay, here’s the real reason I got all “twitterpated” to use a word my friend used recently and I hadn’t heard in a hundred years, and love. I called my old choir director today. “Old” meaning former. He has recently asked me to be a part of (or at least audition* for, but I’m guessing I’m already guaranteed a spot by his tone) a holiday play called “Herod” that he’s worked on for years and years – it’s a very respected work in the Atlanta arts community, I think, (or at least by one woman I know who’s tuned into the Atl Arts scene), locally written I believe, and choral and plainsong (kinda chant-like but not quite so medieval). He’s complimenting me more than he knows by telling me my voice would be perfect for it. He’s told me twice, and each time my head swells a teensy bit. And he asked me to consider it last year and I had to turn him down ‘cause AJ was still so little. So, okay, what’s the big deal? AJ’s not that little anymore. It'd be GOOD music, something I enjoy singing, as opposed to the crapola that I mentioned last week. This Director, Director-K, we’ll call him, is a respected musician, Director of Choirs for the cathedral, the seat of the Archdiocese, the last 20 years, and he LIKES MY VOICE –- it seems to be a pretty easy decision that I’d very politely say, “Thank You, Mr. Director-Sir, I would LOVE to be in your play, thank you again, and see you on Wednesday!” That’s a no-brainer. That’s something you WANT to do -– sing gorgeous, ethereal music in a stone cathedral. Yes, yes, yes, no brainer. Except. Sigh..... Except it’s another 2 nights a week that I’d be away from my boy. At least two, in addition to Wednesday, when I sing in the St. J’s choir (the one that SU-hucks, but to which I’m feeling sorta committed and loyal and it hasn’t even been a year since I joined it). So what to do? I’m going to be out of town for Christmas anyway, so perhaps it’d be a great excuse to go “on sabbatical” from St. J’s this fall, since next week I believe we’ll be starting the Christmas music anyway. And then go right back and resume my position in January as if nothing happened, and everyone’s happy. Except in my self-important way, I’m thinking I’m kinda a decent soprano at St J’s, and that Director, Director-J we’ll call him, relies on me quite a bit. Not to carry the section, (not that I’m going to say that OUT LOUD), but just to be there, on time, when I’m supposed to be. You know. And besides that, I read music which is helpful. And which precious few other of the St J’s choir members do, actually. (ahem, meow, and all that).

So, (new paragraph, you’re welcome), does it become SELFISH and VAIN for me to want to do this other performance? OR is it me being ME, and taking the time to develop my skills and hobbies and be my best self, thus delivering me as a better Mommy and Wife because I’m happy with who I am and what I’m doing with my life. Or is it the selfish one? I just can’t reconcile the time away from AJ, although Husband has said emphatically that he’ll support me and do whatever he needs to do if I really want this. So Helpful, he is. And not that AJ is old enough to remember, anyway, but he’s still at the separation anxiety stage and I can hardly bear hearing him cry 3 nights a week as I walk out the door… even though I KNOW, I know he goes right back to playing 5 minutes later. But if this opportunity is of the “best self” variety, do I quit the other choir to lessen my own guilt? And how about that Husband? How about I spend a little time with him once in a while, huh? Oh, SIGH. And how many times will Director-K (the important one) keep asking me to do this, and hear me turn it down, before he stops? Sometimes ya gotta strike while the iron’s hot, y’know. Get while the getten’s good. Snap up that worm. Etc.

I could write another book about choir, and taking myself less seriously in the face of all this contemporary vs. traditional, good bad and otherwise music, and actually hearing the words of verse two: “Open my Ears, Lord, help me to Hear Your Voice…. And we’ll speak in new ways, and we’ll see God’s face….” – speak in new ways, that’s the line that got me -– that maybe with my ears and heart open and less focused on what we're NOT singing, I’ll learn that this contemporary stuff isn’t so bad, and wow, what a reward, to see God’s face in all that… and then another book about the crickets and tree-frogs singing their own (probably contemporary) music during my drive home through the National Forest, meanwhile I’m listening to Beethoven on Karl Haas’s show on NPR… hmm. But Lordy, this is getting longer and longer.

…AJ…
Ending on a fun note, I am LOVING the teacher in AJ’s Infant 2 room. Miss S. She has privataely told me AJ’s her favorite and I can only hope that she says the very same thing to all the other parents. But man, is she good. She really gives me the full report at the end of the day telling me who he played with and what he liked and didn’t’ like and how much or how little he cried. And… AND! Today that included he has a little GIRLFRIEND!!! Hee hee! I am so in love with this: she said that Anna has taken to him with a nickname and everything, and that today they walked around HOLDING HANDS. OMG is that the cutest thing you have ever heard??? They’re ONE!!! Year old, I mean! Bless her for telling me that. Husband said, “Son, they have COOTIES, don’t you know??” hahahaha. Precious. Precious.

Meanwhile, someone in the class has Stomatitis, from the Foot-n-Mouth category of highly contagious illnesses, ewww, so I certainly hope all of that hand-holding isn’t going to get him into trouble at such a young age! Of course they disinfected the whole place multiple times and kicked the sick kid out, but still. A mother worries.

My GAWD, does it feel good to have it all out. I told you it pours.

*Edited to add that the real obstacle is that the audition gathering is TOMORROW, at 6:30pm, which is of course AJ’s dinner-time and not the easiest time to be traveling to the center of town, especially considering Darling Husband can’t be home before 6:30 (especially not on short notice), and I can’t ask the neighbor because I still owe her from the dogs last weekend, and this is when it would be really handy to have my mother living across the street. So do I take him with me and pray to St. Cecelia (surely she was a mother as well as a singer?) that he doesn’t create holy hell and distraction while Mommy’s trying to sound like an angel? Do I give him a BOTTLE, from which he’s been officially WEANED, but which I know will occupy his mouth for at least 10 minutes and keep the noise levels down? For crying out loud. I guess it’s all I can really do, though...

Why iTunes makes it better

Tuesday again, the warmly welcomed morning at home alone, with coffee and my laptop. And this morning it's even more wonderful because I've been furiously ripping CDs to iTunes these last few days. My CDs. For Christmas, I have asked DH to get me an iPod. Yeah,yeah, behind the times, I know, but better late than never. I am forever indebted to my husband, mind you, for introducing me to a lot of great artists, like Liz Phair and Modest Mouse and the Judybats, but his collection is a little bit heavy on Unknown-Alternative, and sorely lacking in Cutting Crew and Amy Grant and Lyle Lovett (with his Large Band). So today I've heard all three of those, plus a little Norah Jones, and I'm purring like a little kitten with a dish of milk all to herself. Purrrrrr.

If only iTunes could toast a bagel, we'd be all set.

Entree, side dish, salad, dessert

Today I have made a new kind of list. It is relative to the never-ending grocery list, and certainly dependent on the weekly menu listing I always try to make. It is the "Dinner Guests" list. There are about 6 different families/couples that DH and I constantly say, "We need to have them over for dinner," and never do. SO -- starting this week I'm going to be inviting people. First, the next-door neighbors, whose dogs I said we'd look after this weekend, right before we made plans to be out of town. Ooops. I probably owe the across-the-street-neighbors, too, who ended up pinch-hitting for me. Let the stress fun begin.

I really like having people over, actually. I get that from my Dad, who'd have guests every night if he could. My Mom is not as keen on that idea, but she does an amazing job of being hostess when he plans a party of 15 without telling her first (asking?)! My DH gets a wee bit more stressed about entertaining -- he wants the house to be perfect and spotless before even considering letting the world in to see. Me? I mean, yeah, it'd be nice, but.... bah. If my dust bunnies scare you, don't look in the corners. Come be with us and laugh with us and eat our food.

Here are some yummy things I have made for guests:
Jerk Chicken on the grill. (Grilling is always a winner because it gets the husband involved and he shines at it). Side items: yellow rice, maybe "party broccoli," chips and dips.
BBQ Brisket. One of Mom and Dad's standards. With pinto beans and coleslaw on the side.
Gumbo. What could be easier? Throw it all in the pot. Cook up some rice. Done.
Chili. Especially good for Monday night football get-togethers.
Taco Salad. One of my favorites and easy as pie. -- Oooh, pie! That, too.
Lasanga, Ceasar, and Garlic Bread. Who doesn't cook this? I am not above Stouffer's, either. :)

You know, none of these things is gourmet. It'd be nice to get all trendy and do something with feta, but... well, maybe I have extraordinarily forgiving friends, because when I don't go nuts over the menu, I can relax and enjoy the company. So, this is one of my goals for the next few months (before the holiday craziness begins). To feast and fete and fellowship (v.) with friends.

Mini-break

We're off to visit the paternal grandparents this weekend, so they can smooch on AJ at will (and we can go out on a real live date). They haven't seen him in a while and I feel an eensy bit bad that my parents, semi-retired, get to see him whenever they want. Of course, it's just like when I was a kid -- my Mom's parents lived far away and my Dad's were in town. Luckily, you don't grow up loving one set any more or less than the other -- it all works out just fine. :) I'm blessed to have very nice people for in-laws. They're not quite like me, but easy enough to get along with. AND, they're providing some very superfluous new toys for AJ! Just what he needs! Let's hope that at least one of them has Elmo on it. (Mo-mo, our new best friend!)

We'll be sans Internet for the weekend and sans clean laundry when we return, so I bid you a temporary farewell -- I gotta get busy packing, and/or cleaning the dog cr*p out of the bottom of my shoe, thanks to this morning's "recess," during which I did not pay attention to where I was stepping, because I was busy talking to three different neighbors who popped outside to say hi. Eww. (The dog mess, not the neighbors. The neighbors are quite nice).

Get out the Twizzlers, we're goin' on a road trip. :)

And in entertainment news...

With their debut album certified platinum, country music's latest sensation is local Atlanta trio, Sugarland, and they aced the CMA award nominations yesterday -- that's Country Music Association for you non-believers -- with three, including Vocal Group of the Year!

The reason this is so exciting for me is that I feel like I know them. I don't, really, but see the lone guy in the group? That's Kristian Bush, and I've been a fan of his since way back when he played The Depot at Emory University in 1992 with his then-musical-partner, Andrew Hyra. They were 2 guys with guitars, folk-rock to the Nth degree, and I absolutely fell in LOVE with it, and with them. They wrote cutting lyrics and singable melodies -- my kind of tunes. I have every album. I saw them at least 8 times. My roommate and I shared this little fan-dom, and we weren't alone -- Billy Pilgrim, as they named their act, still has scores of devoted fans although they broke up several years ago. Some of their fans are annoyingly rabid -- to the point where they're still whining in emails to the list-serv, "Why doesn't BP get back together?!?!" (Yes, I'm still on the list-serv.)

Meanwhile, Kristian has taken this wonderful turn with his music and is SUCCEEDING! It's impressive because he's thirty-something. He has a wife and a little boy. He has played the local bar circuit and sold CDs out of his trunk his whole life. BP did well, and signed with Atlantic records at one point, but it wasn't the perfect management situation for them, so they gave it up. And how courageous of them -- the chance to be on a major label, but they didn't want it if they couldn't be in control of the music. And now lookee -- he's Platinum! He's going to win a national award! He is so cool. And yes, yes I did: I knew him when. Sort-of.

One of the band's managers/closest friends -- she's mentioned in the liner notes, right at the top! -- works here, at my company, during the daylight hours. So my degree of separation is ONE, direct to my musical hero (and, admittedly, one of my few celebrity crushes, hee). Guess that makes this entry less congratulatory and more "screaming girly fan." But really, I'm very proud of them. They deserve it, no doubt about that.

Summer beauty

This afternoon, we saw our Butterfly.

AJ and I have been noticing, when we play outside in the yard, this year's abundance of butterflies. Have you noticed them, too? I've never before seen such big, beautiful ones so often. Of course, I've never played outside so much, not since I was a kid. ;) So we've been watching for them. He seems to be intrigued, which is adorable. He turns his head and follows their scattered flight patterns, and calls out to me, "Buuuuhhhh---?" Which is his way of saying "Buuuuutter-fly!" like Mommy does. I have visions of a little boy with a white net on a stick, running after the butterflies in a glowy, hazy summer dream...me, watching him from the window, smiling, wistfully.... then I remember he's not quite there yet. But I am. If it weren't for needing to stay by him and make sure he doesn't trip on our uneven driveway and sidewalk, I'd run and jump and laugh with every one. The big, yellow and black and blue (gorgeous!) ones, and the little solid-butter-yellow ones, and even sometimes the brown moths, which catch my eye because I'm absolutely Waiting for something to flutter in my peripheral vision.

Lepidoptera, in case you were wondering the scientific name.

So today, we were coming home from work and from daycare, and as always, we trekked out onto the driveway with Napoleon and his tennis ball, all the way to the mailbox to get the mail. We have Gerber daisies and a perennial red dianthus planted there, so it's a good cultivating spot, I guess. I wasn't much paying attention, but very softly, she alighted in the dianthus and went about her work -- it looked like she was harvesting nectar, although I didn't realize they did that. (How dumb am I? I never took botany or horticulture, I guess.) And I whispered, as loudly as I could, "AJ!!! Come over here quick, and see the Butterfly!" It was hard to keep the environment safe and welcoming for her, what with a 65-pound Lab panting and smacking and pawing at his tennis ball, and at me. But she stayed, and continued her fluttering, for at least 10 minutes. She'd be off and about for a minute or two, across to the neighbor's yard, up, up into the trees, then back down again. And kept returning to our garden. I was so honored. So blessed. And AJ quieted down and really stood there and watched her with me, up close, her wings moving more slowly as she drank that nectar. My arms around his little waist, his mouth open in wonder, my heart racing with excitement.

I wanted to freeze that moment. Instead, I tried to get too close. My granola neighbor, upon learning that AJ is into butterflies lately, showed off his skillz last weekend and let one of the big pretty yellow ones sit on his finger for a minute. So I got all ambitious and tried to do the same, today, and she realized she was being watched. She wasn't as into us as we were into her! She flew far away. But I do hope she'll come back. I am sure, in my little personal fiction, that we keep seeing the same one over and over. Sweet, sweet buuuuuter-fly.

(Something about butterflies, and having a mini-obsession with them, strikes me as very '70s all of a sudden. Next thing you know I'll get a screen-printed t-shirt -- or better yet, a glitter decal -- of the Butterfly, the Unicorn, and the Rainbow all holding hands and singing "I'd Like to Buy the World a Coke." But I don't care. She's pretty. I like her. If I was a homeschool Mom, we'd have a unit on Leo...Luh....I mean, Lepidoptera.)

Mirror, mirror, on the wall

I'm as vain as Snow White's Queen, y'all.

I'm wearing my hair back in a barette today, for the first time in about 10 years (besides Sis's wedding). As a matter of fact, even 10 years ago when I had long-ish hair, in college, I rarely put it in a barette. I was a headband girl. But anyway, today, since it's still in the "growing" stage, there are bits and pieces that stray All The Damn Time and it's driving me crazy. As a result, I've been to the restroom about One Hundred Times to play with it. And re-position it. And re-do. And finger-comb. And gaze, gaze, gaze into the mirror. It's vanity in its purest form! How do I look?!?! I even went to Target to buy some new Hair Implements, since mine are from about 1989. Sis* says I can just play off the stray pieces as "Sexy-Messy," like Elliott on Scrubs. Great idea! Sexy-Messy. I can aspire to that.

*To whom I owe most of the content of this blog. She's awful sweet to let me gack everything she says and publish it here.

IM me

re: choir woes

Here's where I point out how much of a music snob I am, and how I wish I could find a traditional church choir that sings the OLD HYMNS like "Faith of our Fathers" and "Lift High the Cross." Instead, we have a mix of about 1/3 those old greats and 2/3 things like the following. Sigh. It's okay. But sometimes it gets to me, how we're ignoring the years and years of good music in the Catholic church... hello, things like Mozart and Beethoven and, who's that other guy? Oh yeah, St. Gregory of Gregorian chant fame.... music that transcends time and connects us with our forefathers and mothers. We've focused so much on adding the modern things from contemporary Christian radio because we're all very "open minded." Don't get me wrong, I love some of the CC things. On the RADIO. Or in the "contemporary" service. There's a time and a place. Anyway, without further adieu, my sister and I, talking about the contemporary song my choir studied at rehearsal last Wednesday:

MySelf says: (2:27:03 PM)
YES!! On to happier things!

MySelf says: (2:27:20 PM)
ummm...... *crickets*.....

Sis says: (2:27:28 PM)
hahaha

MySelf says: (2:28:31 PM)
My choir SUCKS! How 'bout that? We're singing "With one Vooooice, we'll pass the Word along! With one voooooiiiiice, bring justice to the wooooooorld!" CLAP CLAP CLAP --claps written into the Freaking Score!!!! Bllllahghghghg. I could die.

Sis says: (2:29:17 PM)
Ewwwwww! And you're actually doing the claps? Yuck!!!!! and cheesy words, too.

MySelf says: (2:30:30 PM)
NO way will I do the clapping. (she says resolutely, knowing she will). It's too much. AND --- ANNND! He's hired a DRUMMER for the 10:45am "traditional" Mass!!! Or else the guy volunteered. But I'm saying, "TRADITIONAL" does not mean Rock and Roll Drummer!!! Let him play ANY other mass but not this, this Last Vestige of Musical Decency!!!!

MySelf says: (2:30:51 PM)
(which isn't even that decent anymore!)

Sis says: (2:31:42 PM)
can't the choir argue that you can't CLAP and hold music at the same time? All clapping must be nixed. And oh, geez, a drummer? no other instruments, just drums and piano/organ? Horrifying.

MySelf says: (2:32:26 PM)
Probably flute and violin, too. It IS horrifying. What a perfect word. LOL

MySelf says: (2:34:05 PM)
Of course now that stinking song is in my head!

Sis says: (2:34:06 PM)
flute, violin, and frums. what a perfect trio!

Sis says: (2:34:06 PM)
drums

Sis says: (2:34:15 PM)
i'm glad I don't know it

Sis says: (2:34:52 PM)
we're going to go to the cathedral on Sunday and hear the big choir and fancy organ. I'll think of you, being miserable, clapping to the beat of the drum.

MySelf says: (2:35:28 PM)
I know! How divinely inspired, right?! Oh, and the worst thing is that it's for "nine-eleven," which is what Director calls the week after this one -- he refuses just to say Sunday, the 11th. It's NINE-ELEVEN. The ANNIVERSARY. Gggggag. "Bringing justice to the world.... (like Iraq?)."

MySelf says: (2:35:47 PM)
LUKCY YOU, going to the cathedral! I will listen from afar.

Sis says: (2:36:03 PM)
teehee! can't stop laughing

Sis says: (2:36:14 PM)
9/11. whoa

Sis says: (2:36:27 PM)
justice to the terrorists

MySelf says: (2:36:29 PM)
My pain, your laughter. No, I'm kidding. it's so awful it's funny.

Sis says: (2:37:56 PM)
good luck trying to keep a straight face next sunday

MySelf says: (2:38:23 PM)
seriously!!

MySelf says: (2:38:26 PM)
I may have to leave.

MySelf says: (2:38:51 PM)
It WOULD be inappropriate to be laughing out loud in the middle of such a MOVING presentation!! hahahaha!!!!!!

Sis says: (2:39:22 PM)
moving, yeah. moving folks out of the choir maybe

MySelf says: (2:39:47 PM)
lollolol!