Grace

My favorite Christmas present came yesterday evening, right after we put AJ to bed. Husband was doing the dishes, as he does most every night. (As much as I love him for this (!), it's not THE reason I married him. But it helps. *wink*)

I watched him from the other room, where I was diligently packing up all my merry decor -- and he stopped what he was doing for a minute just to stand there, staring at the floor, dishcloth in hand, mulling over something. I called to him, "You okay?" And he replied, "Yeah. But I'm sad. I just love my little guy so much..."

He came over to me and put his arms around me. "I just had the best time with him this week, you know? It was like we really got to know each other...and just watching him play... because when I'm at work all week... he usually isn't as talkative to me as he is to you, but this week?... y'know? He's such a sweet boy. Growing so fast... THANK YOU, for giving him to me. And for sacrificing yourself for 9 months to keep him healthy and safe, and being so calm and good with him. He's sweet because of the way you are with him. ....I'm just really going to miss him tomorrow."

Of course I don't accept his theory about AJ's sweetness being my doing -- it's certainly not -- but the loving, life-giving, genuine things he said? I needed those, as much as I worry about not having any grace as a parent. We forget to tell each other these important things -- forget to acknowledge them to ourselves, even. I am so, so blessed and thankful for the moment. It was an instance of Finding the Sacred in the Everyday. It was Sacramental. Warm. I was sharing fully in his sadness, but I find great joy in his feeling, during the holidays, like he received such valuable blessings. Such Gifts. I received one, too, in his telling me.