Fever all through the night

AJ slept fitfully with a fever last night, and although I gave him plenty of Tylenol, the fever hadn't gone down by noon today. So I called the pediatrician. I hesitate to do that, knowing as we all do that fever can be caused by any number of things including teething. I'm always aware of the neuroses of first-time mommies and don't want to be that way - I want to be Mrs. Common Sense about the baby. But you hate to take a chance and let me tell you, when a kid is that hot to the touch, you want to DO something about it. I did all the things that the books say you should do to reduce a fever, but he was still miserable. Admittedly, I was a bit surprised that the nurse said over the phone that they'd want to take a look at him. Surprised and thankful. They easily could have advised me to do Tylenol every 4 hours, lots of liquids, and plenty of love. (Okay, they wouldn't have said the "love" part, but you know as well as I do that it's essential.) Which is, in fact, what they advised after we went in and were seen. But, to be sure, and to make me feel like I did the right thing, they took a blood sample and tested it for viruses. None found, thank goodness.

We're having a sick day together since I'm recovering from yesterday's allergy attack. (Well, I'm recovered mostly, but it still feels good to be home on this dreary day.)

Gimme Five! An interview for you!

Miss Issues, I wave my interviewing wand in your direction with a flourish!

1. What did you dream last night? (Or, the most recent night that you remember?)

2. What do you JUST LOVE about libraries?

3. What, so far, has been the happiest day of your life?

4. You've earned a bazillion sky miles: Where do you go and how long do you stay (assuming you have plenty of vacation days to burn)?

5. If you could plan a party "for no reason," who would you invite, what would you eat and drink, and would there be a theme?

An Interview with Me

Many thanks to my friend at sotto sotto for the fabulous questee-ons. :)

1. You've got four consecutive daylight hours to yourself, no child, no work, no spouse, no dentist appointment. What do you choose to do??
Wow oh wow oh wow. First, I take my book to Starbuck's and enjoy an uninterrupted hour of coffee-shop reading (and people-watching), Toffee-Nut Latte in-hand. If it's nice out, I sit on the patio. After that, I head to the pool and swim for half an hour or so. I might even lay out in the sun for half an hour after that. The luxury! Working out AND sleeping! (Who loves falling asleep in the sun as much as I do? Isn't it the best??) Two hours left.... Next, I'd definitely go to a nice salon and get a manicure, pedicure, and facial -- quelle splurge! I'm sure that would take up the rest of my time, but assuming I had just a smidgen left on the clock, I would SO go to Barnes & Noble, and browse the fiction shelves to my little heart's content. (Is it weird I didn't include a single friend in any of this free-time? I just would love to have free, me-time!)

2. Who was your favorite character on the late great Ally McBeal, and why?
Oh, it's so easy -- Peter MacNichol's character, "the Biscuit." Can't even remember his "real" name -- John Something -- oh yes, John Cage. His low self-esteem, despite being an intelligent attorney, just broke my heart. When he did his smile therapy in the mirror and started singing Barry White in his head, he looked like an adorable little kid - I could squeeze him! Besides that, when he "took a moment," or used phrases like "I've been disparaged" or "I'm troubled," I laughed out loud.

3. Money is tight and you must give up wither your Internet connection, or your DVR. Which do you choose?
Oh, this is just cruel. DVR, I guess. We lived without it for a long time. Truthfully I wish I didn't need TV so much in the first place, but I do.... but there's always Netflix, which I could have if I still had Internet. :) I think I need the high-speed more.

4. What's the last song you fell in love with (i.e. listened to at least 15 times)?
Amy Grant, from Legacy: Hymns of Faith: Be Still, My Soul. I fell in love with it the very first time I heard it, but when I was struggling emotionally, before coming back from maternity leave -- like anyone, I couldn't imagine leaving my little one -- it spoke so deeply to me that I listened to it again and again. "Be still, my soul, thy God is on thy side... bear patiently the cross of grief or pain. Leave to thy God to order and provide, through thorny ways He faithful will remain." Every verse, including the prayer she speaks in the middle of the song, pierced me. That's the only word I can think of. I almost get teary thinking about it.

5. If you could put down roots anywhere, regardless of cost of living, and assuming you could bring your loved ones along...where would you love to live?
I have no idea. This will sound very shallow, but I guess I'll go with Destin, where my family goes every year for a week-long "reunion" of sorts. It started out as one branch of the family's annual beach vacation, and the rest of us have joined in now for years. Because I'm in vacation-mode when I'm there, it seems like the most relaxing place on earth (although it's getting more crowded every year with tourists and cars and more and more tourists). But I think I'd set every family up in a condo of their own, and we'd just stay there year-round, if we could. It'd be a beach party all the time! With plenty of naps.

The way this game goes is: If you want me to ask you 5 questions for your blog (or if you don't have one, you can post 'em here), comment below and let me know!

Lenten update

It's the middle of the 2nd week of Lent, and my "projects" are going fairly well, I suppose. Giving up dessert has been harder than I thought it would be! I had really developed quite the habit there! It's been good, though, to go without. I posted on Selkie's comments that I've been reading Pearl Buck's The Good Earth, which I had forgotten since reading it in high school. It includes quite a descriptive section on the extreme poverty that the lead character and his family go through. How convenient, that it has made me consider the poor and destitute, which is what we're supposed to be doing by fasting and/or giving up. Who knew that Book Club would prove so spiritually helpful?

I've not done as well with the "addition" of something Lenten, although I do still try to read Creighton U's Praying Lent. However, I need to work on the speed with which I read it -- usually I go much too fast to really get anything out of it. It's enough to "count" as doing it, but not much of a reflective exercise. In one ear (eye) and out the other, really. Zoom, zoom, I'm done.

Meanwhile, food and speed are making their mark on our lives in another way -- AJ is eating lots of baby food, and I finally found a feeding chart based on age in months and approximate amounts (in measurements I can visualize, like 1/4 cup, 1/2 cup, instead of ounces) -- hooray! Good news is, we were doing it just about right. And, I can go easy on the pureed meats for another couple of weeks -- they're not really even necessary until the 8 month-mark. (Those things are so foul-smelling I'm glad to keep them tightly sealed in the pantry as long as possible.) And on the speed front, we are sooo close to crawling. AJ is rocking now, head held up, on hands and knees. Any. Minute. Now. He's going to zoom off to begin exploring the world (and I'm sure I will begin the mother's lifelong wish for him to just come back and sit with me).

get your head back in the game

After yesterday's low point (thank you for enduring it, and pass the chocolate), it's time to get myself back in gear. I have a meeting in an hour with the Big Boss - I'm writing the new web site for the company, eek! Must prepare. Must try to appear impressive. :) I am sure this Non-Fat Toffee Nut Latte from Starbuck's will help my general alertness. I love me some Starbuck's. Slurp!

grateful....(grumble grumble)

Pardon me, I'm wearing my grumpy pants* this morning. Don't feel like writing. And yet, I do. **takes a deep breath** I am grateful for:
1. the days when I have the wherewithall (sp?) to remember to bring breakfast to work with me
2. the words I know how to spell without looking up
3. the fact that meetings do, in fact, end
4. the chicken casserole I made last night, which I thought was pretty good, if a little too salty.... (DH, on the other hand, commented innocently, but annoyingly, "Maybe I just don't really care for casseroles." Rrrrr. Oh wait, this is about what I'm thankful for, not growling about)
5. lotion to soothe my dry, dry hands and cuticles.

Grump, grump, grump. Frown, frown, frown. Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. That is helping a little.

*Props to my Sis for the phrase "Grumpy pants."

serious time-sucker

Name Four Bad Habits You Have:
1. rolling my eyes
2. leaving my clothes on bathroom floor after shower
3. letting laundry sit in the dryer, only to get wrinkled and need drying again, or worse, ironing
4. doing things-other-than-work, at work

Name Four Scents You Love:
1. warm vanilla sugar from Bath&Body Works
2. onions sautéing
3. the neckline of DH’s t-shirts, fresh from the laundry (even with detergent, they still smell like him)
4. clean baby

Name Your Top Four TV Shows: *current*
1. The Amazing Race
2. Scrubs
3. Lost
4. Sex & The City reruns on TBS

Name Your Top Four TV Shows: *cancelled*
1. Ally McBeal
2. Mad About You
3. Jamie Oliver on FoodTV (where is he??)
4. Tony Bourdain (“A Cook’s Tour”) on FoodTV (and where is HE?)

Name Your Top Four Movies:
1. Bfast at Tiffany's
2. Sense & Sensibility
3. When Harry Met Sally...
4. Apollo 13

Name Four People That Know You the Best:
1. DH
2. Sis
3. Mom
4. Colleen

Name Four Things You Are Thinking About Now:
1. If I’ve ever “let Dad in” enough to know me best
2. what I should be doing for work, instead of this survey
3. that I should get the chicken out for dinner tonight
4. …and unload the dishwasher

Name Four Things That You Have Done Today:
1. showered
2. written 2 blog entries
3. talked to Tina on the phone
4. taken DayQuil

Name Four Drinks You Regularly Drink:
1. Coke
2. Crystal Light peach tea
3. regular sweet tea
4. Crystal Light Strawberry-Kiwi

First Grade Teacher's Name? Sister Arcadia

Last Song You Sang?: Do-Re-Mi

Last Person You Hugged?: AJ
Last Thing You Laughed At?: AJ
Last Time You Said 'I Love You' And Meant It?: this morning

Last Time You Cried?: Feb 13
What's In Your CD Player?: a practice CD for Archdiocesan Choir, I think
What Color Socks Are You Wearing?: none, and my feet are cold!
What's Under Your Bed?: gift wrap in a storage bin, sweaters in a storage bin, crafts supplies like yarn and paint, a lapdesk that I made
What Time Did You Wake Up Today?: 5:00 am
Current Taste?: diet Mt Dew Code Red
Current Hair?: too long
Current Clothes?: jeans, long-sleeved tshirt
Current Annoyance?: the headache I have
Current Longing?: free time
Current Desktop Picture?: one of the Mac’s generic ones
Current Worry?: being financially responsible with savings, etc
Current Favorite Physical Feature Of The Opposite Sex?: hands
One Person From Your Past You Wish You Could Go Back And Talk to?: some of the nuns I grew up with – would just love to pick their brains about being a nun

How Many Kids Do You Want?: 2

Type A Line You Remember From Any Book: "Reader, I married him.”

Some of the things surrounding your computer: phone, salt and pepper shakers, “The Good Earth,” AJ’s toys, my watch

gratitude journal

1. Our little furry friends. AJ has discovered our dog. He is in love. When Napoleon runs up the stairs past us (he always has to be first), AJ giggles his head off. He can't wait for kisses from Polie, through the spindles of the banister. It is the cutest thing ever.
2. See above, giggling. It amazes me that now something can tickle him without touching him - he's discovered happiness and laughter without the artificial stimulus! What a joy!
3. My family. All of them. Husband, Baby, Parents, Sister, Cousins, Aunts, Uncles, Grandparents...we are richly, richly blessed.
4. One of the Simple Pleasures: Morning coffee. (And fat-free half & half: I would kiss the person who invented it, if I ever came across him or her.)
5. We have money in the bank. I know this seems trite, and we are lucky in that we usually DO have money in the bank, thanks to savings... but sometimes its such a relief to get all the bills paid, have a $200 grocery bill, and still have enough leftover.

Let's call him AJ

Alright, since enough of you know his name, anyway, I might as well just use his initials, which are A & J. I don't intend for him to be called AJ in real life, although it might evolve to that when he gets into school. But at any rate, it's better than wondering why you've got "The Lollipop Guild" stuck in your head every time you visit here, right?! AJ it is. My little munchk.... err, lovebug. (I do call him "lovebug" in real life.) He's sitting here in his bouncy seat and is obviously too big for it now -- is sitting up, forward, instead of lounging back in it like it's meant to be used. What a cutie. Pretty soon he'll "graduate" and I'll just sit him on the kitchen floor and let him go to town in one of the drawers that's especially for him! I was thinking about that yesterday - will have to save and decoarate one of his formula cans and make it a drum.

Weekend Update: the choir solo. In my mind, it went fine. And that's all. I was not thrilled with it. For starters, the microphone gave me feedback on the first 2 notes so I was frazzled by that. The director was motioning for me to move forward, into it, but my natural reaction was to move back. I think I lost all breath control after that so I sounded a little shaky. Ergh. But, the congregation applauded after it was finished (surprising), and I got enough compliments to make me feel like it was alright. I suppose the problem is when you start thinking of church singing as a PERFORMANCE, instead of as a prayer, which it was certainly meant to be. You know, you start focusing on yourself instead of on The One for whom you're supposed to be singing. That's a challenge, though, for me. I don't know if I would ever be able to completely not focus on ME when I'm singing. It's my voice, my breath support, my pitch and rhythm.... so that's something I suppose I'll have to work on. But like I said, everyone was nice and one woman even said the song brought tears to her eyes. :) 'Til next time, this is the Diva, retreating quietly to her private studio.

Now, back to being a work-from-home Mommy -- I most definitely need my coffee. Am ever-so-sleepy this morning and actually not feeling too well. I think the family cold has made its way back around to me. So off I go to find some liquid energy. Happy Monday!

Important Question:

Does "Munchkin" make you think of those creepy little "Oz" inhabitants, with their squeaky voices and hurky-jerky dancing???? Oh, Dear. If so, I'm definitely changing his "name." Please chime in.

the one where I get the choir solo

It has long been a wish of mine to have a singing solo (see right). Once, during high school, when the director of the spring musical felt guilty because he promised me a part and then reneged, he gave me a small, 5-second singing solo in Act II. A second time, in college, because I was the VP of the university chorus, the conductor let me sing the soprano part of a 4-part quartet: approximately 16 measures of one piece. Both were small parts. Both were significant to my little singing ego. But I have since learned that, as much as it would be nice to be the soloist, it is also very important to have good singers on the melody, leading the congregation, making the unified chorus sound unified.

Wednesday night, I went to my first rehearsal of the St. Joseph's church choir. I've been a parishoner there for 3 years, but haven't had the desire to join them. But Sunday, I was mysteriously Called by a notice in the bulletin: "Music Ministry needs singers, esp. sopranos." ...and when does a choir EVER need sopranos? So, I went. It was fun, in a nostalgic way. I was in a legitimate, grown-up church choir in my single days, for about 4 years. (And in many, many teen church choirs all through my school years.) Made some wonderful friends in the adult choir, had a great director, sang some great music. (Actually, I think I sang a duet there once, too. Not a solo, mind you, a duet.) St. Joseph's group is so similar, it made me smile. Church choirs are all the same. You've got your big-shots, who sing with the local civic chorus and think they know it all. You've got your humble folks who don't really read music or have any formal training, but like to sing. You've got the ones that, bless their hearts, have been in the choir for going-on-17 years. I think the weekly choir-ing is something that I like -- maybe need -- to have in my life, and I was glad to be there once again.

After rehearsal, the director asked me to stay a minute. I presumed it was to fit my robe, get my phone number and address, you know, the typical stuff. He said, "Would you want to sing solo on "X" song, this Sunday?" I was floored. My first rehearsal! He likes me, he likes me! (He could actually hear me in the acoustically inferior music room, with flute and (loud) 20 tenors going strong!) Now granted, after the first few minutes of rehearsal, I could see why they needed soprani (soprani?). They have more of the "like to sing" variety of choristers than the "have-had-vocal-training" type. I am oh-so-superior, aren't I? But hey, when you're good, you're good. ;) And apparently someone noticed. Hee.

It's technically a duet, if you want to know the truth. But the first verse is mine, all mine. I'll let you know how it goes.

The opposite of super-woman

Last night after dinner I sat down on the couch and folded a big ol' pile of baby laundry. (Wow, isn't that the MOST exciting way to begin? Are you dying to find out how it ends??) After that, I was a bit chilly, so I pulled the fleece blanket down over my knees, grabbed a magazine, and that, my friends, was it. Over and out. I was completely useless, on a night when DH and I had planned to catch up on all the housework that we've put off every night this week, not to mention wanting to watch "Lost," which we recorded on Wednesday. (Thank God for DVR!) Heh. Somehow, I managed to get out of all the work -- and I do mean ALL -- while DH cooked dinner, scoured our bathroom, took out the garbage, put the Munchkin back to sleep after he woke up once, let the dog out, and made bottles. Oh, wait, I did do one thing: prepped my coffee for this morning. (How's that for selfish?) I positively HATE when this happens. But man, oh man, was I tired. I guess that working from home does it to me. It's a constant state of activity - I realized yesterday there are no breaks, even if you go out for an hour to "lunch," which, yesterday, was actually a quick rehearsal for my 1st solo with the new church choir (more on that later).

The schedule goes: 5am get up, feed baby. 6am, shower like it's a regular work-day. (I'm not one of those who can work in her PJs.) 7am, after DH leaves, turn on the laptop and the coffee pot. Cross fingers that Munchkin will continue being sweet and quiet for another hour. Read email. Click around and figure out the day's To-Do's for work. 8am, time for his "real" breakfast. Hmm, bananas and oatmeal. That goes 'til about 8:20 or so, and then it's time to see if Munchkin wants to play in the exer-saucer. 10 minutes later, no? You're tired of the exer-saucer? Okay, let's go roll around on the floor. Hang on, I have to get the laptop. Work a bit while he practices crawling and sitting. --Oh yeah, get the dog some more water and a treat, and let him out 2 or 3 times, since he thinks he deserves it. Back to the laptop. Working, working... oh, Baby's fussy and sleepy. Time to go read a story, put him in crib. (Whew! At least he's been going down easy lately.) Okay, on my way downstairs, I should definitely take a load of laundry. Cool. Allright, NOW I can get some work done. Although, maybe, since he's not clinging to me at the moment, I should eat something... and THEN work. .... it goes on like this and once again, I certainly don't mean to complain about it. I count it as one of the best blessings of 2005 that I can spend time with him and watch him grow up, and continue to be a part of my professional world. But I guess I'm trying to justify to myself why I collapse like a house of cards every Monday and Thursday. F - l - o - p.

And that's how it happens that, although I start the laundry at 9am, it doesn't get folded until 9pm.

gratitude journal for today

I am very grateful for:
1. lunch with my hubby -- granted, it was just at the cafeteria at work, and we barely had any interesting conversation, but it's still nice to get away and be together.
2. air conditioning -- it's 70 degrees out and I'm in a sweater.
3. day-quil -- enough said.
4. work to do -- it's a huge project, and really annoying, but it's pretty mindless and keeping me occupied. Probably will tomorrow, too
5. a secret I was keeping is OUT! -- hooray! I was having a hard time trying to tiptoe around it. (I'm helping to plan a little fête for my sister, the bride!)

like clockwork?

I am conflicted about Baby Munchkin's feeding schedule. Let me just state right off the bat, that since the minute he was born, I have been conflicted about his feeding schedule. The nurses in the hospital insisted that he be awakened every three hours to be fed. I contended that sometimes when a baby is asleep, One Should Not Wake Him! I struggled with that question for the first, oh, 3 months of his life. Not to mention, they suggested 3, 6, 9, and 12, am or pm. I have since learned that my baby, like me, prefers Even Numbers: 8, 12, 4, 8. And four-hour intervals are just fine with him. Anyway, this has always been hard for me. Since he was born fairly small, I want to be sure and feed him enough... but since the "obesity epidemic" is all over the news, all the time, I don't want to overfeed him or set him up with bad life-long habits.

Now, he's in daycare three days a week. And they have their own particular way of doing things. I applaud the "teachers" in the Infant 1 room -- handling 10-12 babies can't be a picnic. They have their methods and try to get the kids on somewhat of a similar schedule, so they can have a bit of breathing room. Namely, they want the kids to eat around 10 and nap from 11:30 to 1. Well.... I'm sorry to inform them that MY Baby gets sleepy earlier than that. 10:00 am (sometimes 10:30) is the witching hour for us. I can almost plan my day by it, when he's at home on WFH days or weekends. And he'll sleep until approximately 11:30 or 12. At which time he is probably hungry, since he last ate at 8:30 or 9. At least, this is how it works when we are together. Clockwork. Easy. Predictable. Not necessarily THEIR schedule. But that's the way he is. Shouldn't they know that all kids are INDIVIDUALS? (And, in my cattiest mood, isn't 11:30 to 1 the LUNCH HOUR? Doesn't it make more sense for the kids to have lunch then, and naps AFTER lunch? Or are we trying to schedule the ADULT lunch break at the lunch hour? Hmmm?)

I'm aggravated that I keep trying to tell these ladies "Here's how I'd like it to work," in my nicest tone of voice, and they keep responding with things like, "It just depends on how he feels -- you know, sometimes he gets sleepy earlier in the morning." Well, Not when he's with me. I'm just at a loss. Do I conform to their way of doing it? Do I insist that they do it my way? Does he care? Is he spending his days up there screaming his head off because he's sleepy at 10, and they'd rather feed him? Are they wasting my hard-earned formula and writing on his daily report card: "refused bottle?" (Yes.) Does he ever refuse a bottle with me? (Rarely.) Do they sometimes feed him a mere 1.5 hours after the last feeding? (Yes.) Why??

One word summation: Argh.

Points for Good Behavior

This weekend has been lovely. My parents came for a visit, as promised, and they just cooed and giggled and played with the Munchkin.... are still doing it, in fact, as I sit here "working" from home. (Hey, give me a break, it's only 7:22am! Blog first, work later.) They've had a great time, and we've all been impressed, once again, that our little boy is so even-tempered and well-behaved. I mean, you couldn't really fault him if he was loud or fussy in public -- he's too little to know any better at this point -- but Mom and Dad keep saying how pleasant he is, and that pleases me. Aside from a small hungry outburst on the way home from dinner at Smokey Bones (the best BBQ ribs I've ever had, BTW), Munchkin has done great. And, of course, that one outburst was my fault -- I went unprepared with no bottle to feed him. I can be a real dimwit. But, back to the matter at hand, I hope he'll grow up to be a good kid, who can be taken to nice restaurants and won't run wild or disrupt dinner, or disturb other patrons. A lot of that has to do with parenting and I know DH and I agree on this issue. At any rate, we've enjoyed being all together this weekend, at home, and out at church as well as just about every restaurant surrounding our little suburban home. :)

Last night, I thought that the balloon had been deflated, though -- that no one was having fun anymore. Munchkin's screaming fit had something to do with it, as he kind-of wore everyone out! But then DH announced, "I'll be down in the basement polishing my shoes..." and he was gone more than an hour. This, after leaving earlier in the day "to go to Jason's" -- Jason is his best friend. I was ticked at that -- what, are we not enough fun for you? Do you just HAVE to "get away?" I really thought he had had it with my parents (who do tend to "take over" a bit, when they visit)... but still, it's no excuse for just LEAVING. So, before bed, I confronted him about it. "Are you okay? Have you had a good weekend?" I asked him. "Yeah, it's been great!" he replied. "Really? You're sure you're not sick of my parents or something?" Him: "WHY would you say something like that? I love your parents." ...and then me, dissolving into a few stupid tears as I tried to explain to him how his leaving had made me think he was mad at us or tired of us. He wouldn't hear it. "Come here," he said, and led me downstairs to the kitchen, which was all turned off and "shut down" for bedtime... He flipped on the light.

There they sat, the two dozen roses he'd gotten me for Valentine's Day. That he gets me every year for Valentine's Day. "I didn't go to Jason's," he said, grinning proudly at the major surprise he'd pulled off -- my drama just made it that much sweeter for him. I hid my head in shame and emabarassment, breathing in his t-shirt and smiling through my stupid tears (still falling, for better reasons now). Of course. Of COURSE. He loves me, he said, without saying it at all.

DH earned points for good behavior, too. Happy St. Valentine's Day to you and your Valentine.

it's no coincidence

Things happen For A Reason. Did you ever read "A Prayer for Owen Meany" by John Irving? Or, did you ever see the Mel Gibson movie "Signs?" Both of those hold a high place in my "favorites" list, because of their message that every single atom bumps another atom for a particular purpose. I guess it's not too uncommon to believe that, but there are just some things that are too important in my life (and others' lives) to be coincidence. For example:

My father, today, is retired and in very good health.
He had open-heart surgery about 2 months ago.
He did not have a heart attack, but was having a valve checked in December when 3 blockages were discovered in his arteries (99%, 90%, and 90% blocked).
He was having the valve checked because he is (was) a pilot and they have a medical requirement each year.
His medical checkup got postponed in September due to Hurricane Ivan (Mom and Dad live in FL).
Being "grounded," without a current medical, he was home to help with the clean-up.
While cleaning up hurricane wreckage, he broke his leg... Grounded some more (short-term disability leave).
Because of the leg, he wasn't able to work as hard as he would have liked on the clean-up (and my Dad likes to work, HARD)...

....which, I think, is the reason he did NOT have a heart attack, and why he lived to tell the tale.

Imagine what might have happened -- well, I don't like to imagine it, myself -- if the Hurricane hadn't hit, forcing him to stay at home and deal with the mess. He might have had a heart attack in the air. (NOT to say that the Hurricane was good, or God's plan for my Dad -- I am not claiming to have figured out the reason for natural disasters, and why so many people have to die or be injured or lose everything they have.) But imagine if, after the hurricane, he hadn't broken his leg. He might have been working hard to repair a fence, or a roof, and had the heart attack then.

Or, if God hadn't planned for him to be a pilot in the first place (after careers in both farming and real estate)... he wouldn't have had the requirement for the yearly physical, and heaven knows he wouldn't have gone to the doctor regularly, on his own! (Men!)

Mom and Dad are coming to visit us (well, the Munchkin!) this weekend, hooray! Five things I'm grateful for: Dad's health, Mom's strength, good doctors, FFA policy, and Dad's happy retirement ahead. :)

moment to moment

I spend a good lot of time (too much) reading the blogs of people I think write well. Many of them are mommies like me who often make my eyes mist up with the beauty, the simplicity, the honesty of their stories. And maybe it's because I'm so self-critical, but I never think that my writing measures up. Of course, when I started my blogging adventure, I kept it all private, so I didn't care so much. But now that I am exposed to the world (not that the world is necessarily watching, as you can see) ... well, I want to make it better. One of the reasons for doing this is to practice the art of writing. Practice practice practice. I think that I tend to write about my feelings, when the really interesting things to read about are actual happenings. Yes, it's a journal, and a journal is where you keep your deepest thoughts and feelings. But I think, as I attempt to learn and grow here, I should try a bit harder to write about the Moments. The tender ones, the funny ones, the really sad ones. Actually, we had a Moment this morning, and it was funny. It goes like this:

Munchkin has been sleeping very well lately, waking regularly at 5 or 5:30 for his first bottle of the day. But he doesn't really wake up through that bottle... he takes it all -- hungrily, I might add -- but he's asleep for all intents and purposes. (Which I think is pretty cute, but it makes me wonder when I will be able to skip this bottle? Hopefully the near future.) Back to the MOMENT, though: After today's bottle, I walked him into our bedroom because it was time for me to start getting dressed and ready for work. He stayed asleep for about 20 minutes, on our bed, on his tummy. (Our sleeping position of choice, SIDS-prevention be damned!) Okay, so all is quiet, we're padding around in our pajamas, getting ready, when DH picked up the phone to call in his prescription refill... the digital (beeping) phone... (are you anticipating the moment? Because here it comes...) Munchkin's little head popped right up, and, even though he could barely open his eyes, he actually "glared" at his Daddy, as if to say, "What the Hell? Dad! Can't you see I'm trying to sleep here?" His face was all wrinkled up and his mouth very much frowned in disapproval. He stared at Daddy for about 5 minutes, until all the beeping was finished. Meanwhile, DH and I were doing our best not to laugh out loud and disturb the little booger any further - it was too much. Funny because in normal circumstances, he really loves the beeping of the phone. He gets all giggly and watches as I dial. Also funny because it hits home... my Sister and I have been known to glare at our own father for lesser offenses. (Right, Sis?!) ... and finally, funny because it seemed like such a grown-up feeling to have -- disturbed. Like he was a by-the-book librarian lady trapped in Munchkin's clothing, going, "For gosh sakes, SHHHHHHHHH!"

Today is a good day

I am having a good Work From Home day. The little Munchkin is sitting quietly in his high chair just playing with his Red Dog, and we've had his breakfast (bananas and oatmeal cereal), and he's happy. The morning is the best time -- he can sit for longer stretches and I can do more work. I'm testing a website today and it's going pretty well. I hope that when he goes down for a nap I can do some writing. It's just such a major blessing that I get to do this. When I first got pregnant, I hoped that this would be the way it worked out... but I really didn't expect it. The best part is, because my company is planning a big move to an undeisrable location, my whole department might get to work remotely (read: from home) for a year or so! Wouldnt' that be COOL? I am imagining staff meetings at Starbuck's. Buying more PJs, fewer skirts (yeah, like I ever wear skirts)! :) Of course, I don't want to be unrealistic. The really great things that the company sometimes suggests rarely come into being. But one never knows. I guess it's worth remaining optimistic about it.... at least for today.
Gratitude Journal: 1 - PeekABoo 2 - Itsy Bitsy Spider 3 - bananas and cereal 4 - our new (on sale) video camera that captures it all 5 - all my coworkers and bosses (yes! I'm thankful for them!)

What? No Breakfast?

Ah, the Fast. Have never really grasped why we do it, but I read this about Lent yesterday and it made pretty good sense. So I'm fasting today, Ash Wednesday. Should be interesting... I'm not as bad as my DH but sometimes I get a little grouchy when I'm starving! If I snap at you, please forgive!

In other news, can you believe that Kris and Jon did not win The Amazing Race?!?! A TRAIN? You have got to be kidding me. It was a great episode, though -- how much do I love that show? I'm so excited that we only have to wait 3 weeks until Season Seven begins. Woo hoo! DH and I love to watch it together and think about how BADLY we would do at it. We would kill each other... and we're VERY happily married, and a good partnership! I think the pressure of going around the world at break-neck speed would be unbearable. We love to laugh, when there's a ridiculously hard task like finding one lock out of 3,000 that fits your one key, about how we would handle it. It wouldn't be pretty. I don't think one million dollars is worth it. Maybe 50 million. ;)

But, back to being pious, poor, and hungry.

blues and blahs... and totally oblivious

Seems a lot of my friends are experiencing major stress and/or winter blues lately. Real-time friends and online ones. For example, my sister: wedding to plan, possible move to brand-new-state, two weekend trips in a row, major work deadlines. My DH: big, big, super-big work deal might come through, meaning 6-days-a-week and major responsibilities for him (and hopefully, pay increases, but that's another story for another day); and he's just been kinda down lately. My college acquaintance whose blog I read: opening night of a show, wedding to plan, roommate issues, shoe issues, and a serious case of winter depression. My other blog-buddy: busiest time of year at work, grad school, boyfriend to spend time with, pet woes, dinners to host, ET cetera! Not to mention all the people I know who are going through health-related stress right now, in major ways. I'm talking cancer, brain injuries, the big stuff.

I don't mean to be glib about it all, but I'm wondering, frankly.... what the hell is going on? Is the world about to end and I'm oblivious to it? Am I the only person who's not stressed? For some reason last night I was super-mom. I came home, Munchkin took a 45 minute nap and in that time I changed the guest room sheets, cleaned up my room, and put a load of laundry in, and put dinner out to thaw. Then, when DH came home, and while he was cooking (thank God he cooked), I vacuumed and dusted the entire upstairs. So why is it that, while everyone else I know is drowning for lack of energy, I'm swimming Olympic-sized laps and not even breathing hard? (Booo for that atrocious metaphor! Sorry.)

At any rate, I feel sorta guilty. Gulp. I'm sorry, friends, if I stole your mojo! I'd give it all back, if only I knew how!

My five things: 1-no stress on me 2-my black pants are now too big to wear 3-spaghetti for dinner, yum 4-getting car back tonight? 5-upstairs is clean