Pumpkin Spice Latte Day

Picture me with my red cup! Yummy.

It's Friday, 8:11 am and so far I'm still the only one in the office that I can tell. Did everyone take the day off and not tell me? No, my UK teammate just called me for a little chat. I learned that, on top of the confidential stuff happening here in the US, regarding which I've already been approached to "help cover responsibilities" (naturally) (again), our German teammate has just told us she has to have surgery on Dec. 4 and will likely be out until Janaury, so guess what? Can I "help cover responsibilities" for her, too?  WHY, SURE! This is so awesome!

I was remembering last year at my appraisal/review, and Ms. Meany-Pants boss told me one of the things I need to work on... hang on, let me dig out the sheet... ah, here it is... was being "Flexible." Let me read the delightful comment:

Score: 2/5 = Requires Development. While Lee is willing to pitch in when asked to, there are times when something is requested spontaneously and Lee's reaction seems a bit negative.... I do think that Lee has done a good job in adapting to so much change in the past year, but I would like to see her respond better to the changes in priority and the last minute pop up projects.

Hahahahaha! WELL. I think I've been PRETTY GOSH-DANG flexible, and I apologize in advance that I have not "developed" any further in that area but....it's because all the stupid crap is STILL HAPPENING. These idiots. They changed my job description without even telling me first. I WENT WITH IT. =flexible. And I actually don't think that I'm any more negative than anyone else, and if they say ANYTHING about it this year, I will be certain to throw names out. No one here is positive, because no decision ever makes sense, there is NO leadership -- and they continually DUMP on a few of us. They can't ding me for taking on the mood of the entire team, or for being A BIT NEGATIVE.

Sorry.

Didn't mean to get into all that. Incidentally, appraisals are due today, and no one has even bothered to mention mine (because my manager resigned, remember). Maybe I'll get out of it this year? Doubtful. But one can hope.

edited to add: my coworker in Germany is fine, I hear. I asked, I promise. I am concerned about her surgery, not just myself, despite how this reads.

Three days, including today, and then I will be on vacation. And even if it's busy with cooking and traveling and family gatherings, guess what? IT'S NOT HERE.

(I actually can't wait for the cooking and family gatherings. Love you, Mom and Dad -- see you soon!) 

Freebie

We had a power outage today at office building - an accident of some sort, so whole city blocks were without power. I was sent home to finish out the day on my laptop. Total gift and luxury to be able to work at home -- alone, with no kids to supervise / feel guilty about. I sat outside for the first hour and a half, writing an article and submitting it for approval.

After that I came inside and treated myself to a half-hour yoga session, just because I can. It was crappy -- Namaste TV, I think? hastily found on YouTube -- but full of breathing, (a little too fast for my taste), which I needed. I needed to "empty of everything" and fill it with breath. I was extremely frustrated by work yesterday evening, and once again flustered/flummoxed by Kate this morning. We're working on it. I'M working on it. (She doesn't want to work on it much.) But I was drained and needed that extra, quiet breath.

My "new" (old?) annoying manager resigned today. That's confidential. When I found out, I just laughed out loud. She was well on her way to being fired, anyway, as long as we're talking confidentially. Today at lunch we discussed how she uses several little tricks to make it seem like she's still in the office -- always leaves her computers on, lights on, even leaves a bag kind-of half open, near her desk, chair pushed back -- as if she's just gotten up for a coffee or a quick ladies' room visit -- but it'll be 3:30 pm and she'll just never come back. Her bosses and the important people had begun to notice. That among other things. But nope, she went ahead and resigned herself. One week notice. Hahahahahaha. I just can't even. This place is never devoid of something interesting or dramatic. I do wonder what in the hell will happen next.

My own workload seems to be full (I have to tell them frequently what is "my capacity" -- lately I've just been saying I'm at "max capacity" or above), because the idea of new assignments just sends me spinning. I can't even GET TO some of the existing assignments, or heaven forbid, come up with any NEW strategies or plans, just to be a leader / idea-bringer. Wouldn't that be nice? But it'll never happen. I feel so guilty sometimes, that my parents paid a big walloping college tuition bill for me to be still doing a low-on-the-totem-pole job (even though I do have a nice-sounding title). How did that happen? I did everything right, really -- the internships, the "paying of entry-level dues..." it's just that the companies I've landed at haven't had anywhere much for me to go. I mean, I'm writing now, at least there's that -- something I like and am good at, and have been doing consistently for a while, but I don't necessarily feel like an "expert" at it. [Well, especially not when they still feel the need to EDIT ME so much, when I AM supposed to be The Editor. Global Content Specialist, I mean, right? That sounds important, or like I would have THE authority over the writing at the company. But nope, I don't.]

Sometimes I wonder if I'll find THE THING late in life. Like, I'll finally be inspired to write a book (lately I've been thinking it would be about my interesting (?) 20+ years in a cubicle) when I'm in my fifties or something. And will sell it to a real publisher and do book tours and speaking engagements. Haha. Is that a wish/dream/hope? I don't know. Maybe. But will that story even be useful by the time I'm in my fifties?

Whew, all that fast breathing must have gotten to me. Stream of consciousness is not a bad thing, though. Gets the dust out of the corners sometimes.

Anyway, I am enjoying a somewhat free day. :)

Choir, on a positive note

Let me just start this with a huge Siiiiiiiiiiiiighhhhh. Because that is, in general, how I feel by Thursday night at 7:00 p.m. I donnnnnn't wanna.

But yesterday I decided to talk myself out of that crap. To direct my thoughts a little. To TELL myself, "I am going to choir because I enjoy singing. I enjoy being with these funny people. I am furthering my music education, and I like doing that." I don't know what all exact words I used. But during the drive there, I kept thinking it. When I got there, one of the men who drives me a little bit crazy pulled up at the same time I did. But I stopped myself from rolling my eyes (not that I would ever do so TO his face, just inside my own car), and instead tried to think, "How do I want this person to see me? As "that nice young lady who's always so kind to me." Not as, "That soprano who always seems tired and a little closed off."

I've also been trying to think of vocal breathing as another kind of yoga breathing. They're not the same thing, obviously, but breathing is good either way. :)

So, last night's rehearsal was better, with a positive intention behind it. I also remembered that choir can be my only time to (sorry for the cliche) "break open the Word" a little bit. The hymns we sing, of course, are usually based on Scripture, and Lord knows I don't have (make) time to read it. When it speaks to me personally, which happens a lot, hey, that's a lovely bonus. "Singing is praying twice," and all.

Anyway, life. It's true we humans are learning all the time, and still haven't figured it all out. More for me to be diligent about. :)

Trying my Best to Magnify/Multiply the Good Stuff!

• About 2 weeks ago, while I was stressing out over what the heck content I could use to fill up some pages of my (work) magazine, out of the blue I got a pitch from a trusted writer that was just perfect! Paid her $300 and thanked her Very Much! 
• Our babysitter is almost always available. Whether I need her for an evening out (this coming Saturday) or for a full day (one of last month's random SJCS student holidays), she's up for it, and will come at 7:00 a.m. if I ask her. We totally lucked into her, too, through one of Shawn's co-workers.
• Kate and I had a big talk last night and thus hope to resolve morning-rush stress once and for all. She wants to do better, I can tell. Bless her little heart. I am so proud of her.
• You should SEE these kids' school pics. Wait, I'm going to share them: 

Already on my desk and we just got them yesterday. Look how grown up! Alex looking more like his Daddy, and Kate looking like a tiny fashion model, if I do say so myself! She thought her hair was "messed up," but I think it's perfection. #unbiased

• We've hit a rhythm for weeknights, I think. Who goes where, when, and who picks up, and how to have dinner as a family, still, most nights of the week.
• Halloween went off without a hitch. First time the kids trick-or-treated without each other, Alex at one friend's and Kate at another's (with us). I didn't even get a photo of them together in their costumes. Felt so left out of the Facebook fun, I have to say! 
• November is here, and that means Thanksgiving, my favorite! All the food to look forward to! I have already made Pumpkin Corn Chowder and Pumpkin Dip that you eat with graham crackers. I might overdose on pumpkin but I would die happy. ;)

Weekend: Full of Happy

• Every other 6- to 10-year-old girl in this town might have gotten to hear T. Swift live and in-person Saturday night, but MY kids got to play Go Fish, Crazy 8s, Slap-Jack (Whisper-Jack, Yak-Jack), and even Gin Rummy with me on Sunday night at our kitchen table. I love playing [non-stressful] card games.
• It's surprising how delicious the pizza at Mellow Mushroom is. I was thinking about it again this morning, after going there Friday night. (Friday night pizza! What is better than that? NOT MUCH. I'm in love with Friday Night Pizza. Can we please do it every weekend?)
• Kate was totally giggly most of the day yesterday because of the word, "Tummy." We don't know why.
• Alex has begun using the word "Derp" in all the right ways, and it, too, made us laugh over and over again.
• A fuzzy diary and a metal Naruto headband (? I don't know either) are little things you can get at the mall, that make 2 kids pretty happy. 
• Wal-Mart might have lowered my grocery spend for the month of October (we haven't done the final tally), but I have declared that experiment over now. I really hate buying groceries at Wal-Mart, and decided my happiness is more important. Do what makes you happy! Don't do what doesn't. 
• During our backyard game of Frisbee yesterday, we broke the RECORD of 16 catches without dropping it! We made it all the way to TWENTY-ONE! It was momentous. 
• Shawn is the one who sorts, starts, switches, and folds most of our laundry on Sundays. (And he's cute, too!)
• We made Jerk sauce for our hamburgers last night, because we both like to eat everything spicy. YUM.
• The glass of Riesling I sipped while reading The Shell Seekers on my Kindle (64% through it) for 30 minutes last night made that half-hour truly lovely. Loving the book!
• I went to bed at 10:30, and slept all the way through.

Wish

Hope. The Holy Spirit. And a reason to Smile at the office. These are 3 things I prayed for this morning. These are what I think I need to get through a workday. My office is so amazingly bizarre/horrible. I have never been in a place that has SO much politics, drama, and is so incapable of getting a wholly successful team on-board. Is it because our hiring managers are no good? I think that has been part of it. We've had people in the HR office who have little understanding, in my opinion, of what it means to be an HR manager, and their bosses, the VPs of hiring, are European, and maybe don't catch all the nuance in their American interviewees' personalities. So they hire these people who never turn out to be what the position needs, and then they have to dramatically let them go and people whisper and worry, and get shuffled around to cover, and and and. It's a theory. (Also: there's one manager in particular who is actually good at what she does, but has power-trippy tendencies and also causes a large majority of the daily chaos, because she can never enjoy status quo. This person is head of my team, incidentally.) Anyway, we are once again in a state of flux/drama with middle management and leadership, and yet EVERYTHING STILL HAS TO GET DONE, so I have one million "hot" tasks and I'm once again (still) so over it.

Holy Spirit, be here. Hope, come in. Smiles.... just, please let us smile. I'm yoga-breathing today.

I'm ready to find something else -- to flee, to run away! -- but I am also having a hard time being enthused about anything jobs I've seen, particularly in my field. I'll keep looking. How I would love to have a remote (work from home), flexible full-time job writing for a cool, successful company (because benefits). Putting that wish out into the universe, maybe, will mean something. Hear me, Universe? Help a girl out.

Follow-Up: Summer Goals

We didn't accomplish all of my summer goals. However, we did accomplish a few of them, so I thought I should update my life-log, for future reference. [Related: I just had to Google "blog etymology" because I forgot where the "b" came from. !!?! (web. web-log)]

1. Finish the Easter puzzle. .... nope. In fact, I finally put it back into its box on Saturday morning. Gave up. Not going to happen in this stage of our lives. I will save it for my first week of retirement, someday, and work on it while eating Raisin Bran for lunch.

2. Bike riding. Another nope. Too hot. Too tired.

3. Reading! YES! DID IT! Both kids read 4 chapter books. Maybe more. Kate, who prefers being read to, even finished several of hers without me. I'm unsure now if Grandmommy read them to her while she was in Florida, but even if.... this was a big success. I gave them the gift-card prizes, too. (See? Just because we don't have leisure-time for the public library summer reading program, doesn't mean we don't have a reading program!) Am very proud of us.

4. Swimming! Kate! YES, by the hair on her chinny-chin-chin, she figured it out by September. GO GIRLY! Like a fish.

5. [Screentime Limits] I don't even know. This issue is going to continue to crop up again and again, I think. Right now, we're in school again, so it's different from summertime, but obviously still requires limits of some kind. We discovered we're right AT our monthly usage limit on our internet usage overall, so we're monitoring that... and both kids have "favorite" YouTube channels, users who publish new videos either every day or every week ("Munching Orange" is Alex's current favorite gamer to watch, and Kate likes a makeup artist named "Promise Phan" as well as "MattyB," a kid musician/rapper who's hilarious/nauseating.) Plus, Kate is lobbying for her own tablet -- she wants it right away but I'm trying to stall her until Christmas -- so then we'll have to figure out more rules. It's a moving target. Last night, we declared no devices during the weeknights without asking parental permission. Time will also be limited if they ask. We'll see if they can survive. (Does TV count? I don't know. Yes, I think it should, but no, not really, since they can access the TV more easily and I can't "put it away.")

Breaks

I feel compelled to tell someone that I'm enjoying an afternoon of working at home today. I was sure my manager wasn't going to approve it, but lo and behold, she proved me wrong, so here I am. Both kids are watching their shows with headphones on, for a little while until I make them go do something constructive, and I'm sitting here feeling content and grateful, with my pumpkin spice candle burning -- and oh, yeah, actually getting some work done, too. Mildly important.

It's interesting that part of why I'm feeling good is because I was entrusted with two fairly important projects at work. And they're getting done. This morning I was kicking ass and taking names on those two projects! Helping the president of the company, thank you very much. And also because yesterday, I did the annual helping-with-inventory at our warehouse. I dread that day every year, but while I'm there, I usually enjoy it. It's a distraction; the workday goes much faster when you only have 3 scheduled breaks to look forward to. You know you must work until 10:30, then take 15 minutes, then work until 12:30, and after lunch again at 3:30, you get a 15 minute break.

I'm considering setting up my regular days the same way. Isn't that silly? On my own schedule, I will dork around 'til the cows come home, taking the 5-minute break here to check Facebook, there to read a blog post, everywhere 5 minutes. (Sometimes 10; I do enjoy my 10-minute walking break that I try to do every day, especially now that the weather's cooled down.) Yesterday I was reminded that the longer breaks are a lot more satisfying. Hmmm. Something to think about.

Anyway, the day away from my desk and the gift of a work from home Friday afternoon have improved my week SIGNIFICANTLY.

Also: I am no-more bound to the no-good manager -- my time as "E-business and PR Coordinator" is officially over, and I am on the Global Marketing team, hooray hooray! I'm hopeful this will improve things in a long-term way. Goodbye, Store Locator spreadsheets! Goodbye, "Help Desk" duties! Goodbye, requests from random salespeople to help their customers download photos, or manage their own Facebook pages! I will SO not miss you.

Amen and amen!

Old 'hood, Groceries, and New Dude

1. We learned that the rental house 2 doors down from our old house -- have I already told you this? -- has new tenants, who, according to our source, have "sh!t all over the yard." We drove by there once, and even though it was nearly dark, we could see some sh!t. Trailers and bins... it was Whoa.

DH has thanked me a number of times for spearheading the Real Estate project and getting us out of there. It's satisfying. ;)

In fact, where we live now is continuing to grow, with large new neighborhoods popping up all over the place. Well, at least trees being mowed down in preparation for new neighborhoods. Traffic definitely feels thicker than it did this time last year, and it looks like there will be more influx of people/cars in the future. So far, it isn't unmanageable, but the window for leaving the house is NARROW. If we're not out of there between 6:45 and 7:05, forget it.

2. I'm so proud of us, for stretching our groceries to last 2 weeks. Last Sunday I just didn't go to Publix. Didn't feel like it? Knew we had enough? Had just paid bills and didn't wanna spend any more cash? Whatever it was. I did have to buy milk, bread, apples, ham, and some on-sale crackers for the kids' snacks, on Wednesday. But for the most part, we have been totally fine without spending my usual weekly $140 or so. Yesterday I had thawed chicken breasts in the fridge and I was certain they would be bad by 5:30 pm. So I tossed 'em in the crockpot before I left the house, with BBQ sauce, Zesty Italian, brown sugar, and voila! Shredded chicken bbq sandwiches for dinner. We happened to have burger buns on-hand. Other times in the week, we used leftovers wisely. ....Fine, I will admit that Monday was a bit of a bust; the kids had McDonald's milkshakes after school, and Spaghetti Ohs for dinner. The hipster/Paleo/bento-box moms do not approve! And speaking of boxes, more days than not, the kids' lunchboxes didn't include a fruit or vegetable. BUT STILL. I am happy about the whole deal. Tonight's dinner might have to be made from Bisquik, but I do have it, and milk! WIN.

3. New Dude at work: Takes notes, has been trained, has been given procedure documents... tells me this morning, "I don't remember all the steps." ARGH. (But he did give me a red pear, so I'm considering forgiveness.)

Clairey's

Kate has discovered The Mall. More specifically, Justice and Claire's (which she adorably called "Clairey's" this weekend, thinking the "e" was more than silent). We had to go there during Labor Day weekend, to pick up a wedding shower gift at Macy's, and since we had the day off, I just decided we'd walk around and explore. And... well, Kate insisted she needed go back this past weekend, too. :) We had smoothies from Smoothie King (had a coupon), visited Claire's and Justice and The Disney Store, and Bath and Body Works (all the important ones), sat down in one store and rested our feet from all the walking, ate lunch in the food court, gave in to frozen yogurt after lunch (I am a sucker), and then figured we'd had enough for one day!

Our mall isn't all that close to home, although we've taken the kids there a few times before. It's always fun for me to see their little minds blown over so many stores in one place. These last two times, Kate has commented on how good the mall smells. As soon as you open the door, you get this sweet whiff of shopping and cotton candy or something. I love it, too, and love that she loves it.

She's not interested in getting her ears pierced, although I won't be surprised if that comes up at Claire's in the next couple of years.

On a related note, something about girls-growing-up-too-fast, yesterday she sent this message to her Daddy from my phone, while I was busy doing something else:

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Totally unrelated book talk: Check out the awesome comments on this post. Sherry, need any more recommendations?? I got several from this discussion, namely I was reminded again of The Shell Seekers, which my mom has been urging me to read for oh, about 20 years now. !!

Schedule change

For years here, I've been saying, "I just don't know if I can do this flex-schedule again." So this year, I dropped it. I've maintained a 7:30 to 4:30 workday, and it's better. No more 5:00 alarm. No more stressful 3:30 rush to the 3:15 carpool line, only to be the very last one there. No more worrying if Shan thinks I'm cheating. The kids go to Aftercare every day, they do their homework there, mostly, and it's fine. Thumbs-up for eliminating unnecessary stress.

I had a heckuva week at work -- just mentally tiring. Lots of meetings. Wednesday night, we had an out-of-town work-guest to entertain, so I stayed at the office until 6:30 and then went to dinner with the team. Not a terrible evening - free meal and wine, after all - but wow, did it feel like a long day. I'm very glad I only do that rarely. And even more glad that Shawn's around and available to share dropoff and pickup duties with me every day -- I don't know how people do it when one parent travels a lot. Yesterday was my first choir rehearsal at 7pm, and we've shifted our gymnastics time to Thursdays at 6:30, so that was tricky, too (I take the kids, Shawn meets us there, I leave for choir, he takes them home). Two nights in a row not saying grace at the dinner table, and me not good night to the kids in person (or even on the phone). Sad trumpet.

It's fine, of course, just new. I'm hopeful that next week will feel a little more normal as far as the extracurriculars are concerned, but I'm also fully aware that we're deep in the kid-raising years right now, and it's going to be like this a little bit, until Alex can drive. I wonder if I need to say something to John about choir - like, maybe he just needs to not expect me to always be there. Last night I was so tired before the rehearsal started, and I sang LIKE CRAP (but I blame him for rehearsing pieces with high B-flats in the descants, gross). But in the end I was still glad I had gone. Mostly.

Alex is doing fine so far, but I've seen a few instances where I could tell he's stressed about fitting everything in: schoolwork, piano practice, gymnastics, clarinet (he joined the middle school band), Scouts, and the video gaming and YouTube videos about his gaming that he wants to produce... so we'll see how it all goes. So far they've not had any big school projects but WOE on that day.

However, today is Friday, my managers have all left for the day, I have some projects to keep me occupied until 4, Kate's having a friend over tonight (sweet Ady Grace), and I hope that means Shawn and I will be able to watch Justified. :) Weekend! It's supposed to be rainy, too -- BONUS!

On authority, and watching

I am watching from the sidelines as a project at my company is in the last planning stages and still not at all ready for launch. It's a new website. My original job here was to manage the company's US websites, both content and functionality. Since I started working here, of course, there have been major changes, and now we have a global e-commerce manager as well as other team members, so when this new site project was conceived, I was actually left out of it entirely. I felt strange and slightly offended about that, but I'm not in a position of authority and I presumed my team knew precisely what they were leaving out by forging ahead without me. Fine, whatever. They've given me a new title, anyway, and hired someone else for the website stuff. Good riddance.

However, I can't help but overhear and feel a lot of tension around the final days and leading into the launch, and I wonder if I should have spoken up or gotten involved. I couldn't have, without appearing intrusive, could I? Is intrusive or overstepping your bounds okay when it positions you as a "team player?" I don't know. I don't WANT the project to fail, but I fear it might. Or at the least, it's going be a huge and complicated mess. The dude they hired talks in circles, I think -- posturing, to make people THINK he's very smart -- and most of the time his words/ideas don't make sense. (I think most, if not all, successful people do that, by the way -- but some of them actually ARE smart, and others aren't.) Besides that, they've not given him all the information he actually needs. Besides THAT, he's never wrong, according to him. (I'm not bitter, I swear, but this personality type drives me bananas.) The manager in charge postures the same way -- and on top of it, she never follows through with her tasks. The tech guy on the other side of the pond thinks he can do it all by himself in the first place, and isn't very communicative.

On the one hand, I'm definitely glad that my name has not been "allowed" to be on the project -- it will not be my fault! On the other hand, I'm sure I'll be pulled in, to triage, troubleshoot or otherwise manage the mess, and that will tick me off, indeed.

Oh, corporate life. So ridiculous in so many ways.

So far, so good!

Week 1 of school was a rousing success...but they haven't had any real homework, yet. This week starts the real deal. I just looked online at the 2nd grade Homework planned for this week and it's a doozy! Spelling and Math tests, and worksheets every night. I can't even imagine how 6th grade will be, eek. So it's good we had a productive and relaxing weekend to gear up.

It ended with yesterday evening's trip to the pool with our friends, from about 4:00 until 7:00. We ate dinner there (country club For The Win!) and went out for ice cream afterwards. But first, the biggest news: Kate SWAM!! Underwater and everything, kicking her feet and coming up for air! I am  so proud of her. Of course she was hesitant when we left the house, not wanting to wear her floaties in front of other kids (Maren, 1 year older than Kate, in particular). I gave her a boost by telling her I hadn't even packed the floaties (she grinned and hugged me), but that Daddy and I would stay near her as much as she needed in the shallow end. She's fine on a kickboard or noodle, and can touch the bottom in the shallow end (barely, in this pool).

So I mostly sat on the steps with Emily and Shawn, and once in a while Kate wanted one of us to catch her or carry her, but she didn't cling to us like a little koala, which is what she has done all summer. Having Maren there helped; at one point, Maren asked why Kate couldn't go to the deep end and I think Kate was slightly embarrassed, but I helped answer the question and they both forgot about it and played anyway. Then toward the end of the evening, Kate was by herself in the shallow end, and I saw her practicing. She got better and better, swimming a little farther each time she went under. I could tell she had gotten determined. :) Goggles have been a key element for both of them; once they learned how clear everything looks underwater, they've wanted to see more. I'm just as thrilled for her as I was for Alex when he finally got it. All she needs is to get used to going longer distances, without stopping to put her feet down, and she'll be golden. We're going back to the pool as much as we can before they close it in September, I can tell you that much. Practice, practice, practice.

Who knew swimming would be such a major deal in the parenting gig? I never would have guessed!

9 Things on my Mind That Aren't Work

My mind needs an "Out of office" message today; no room for this job! I'm buzzing about:

1. A happy report from 2 kids who had good first half-days at school
2. Alex's signup for Band, meaning we'll have to either buy or rent an instrument of some sort here, soon
3. Kate's gymnastics camp and the school friend who also wants to sign up... but that we might need to move Kate to a different day, to accommodate Alex, who also wants to sign up, and for whom I would like a class that has more boys his age
4. My driving/flex schedule, and telling the kids I'm not doing carpool this year, instead they'll do Aftercare every day (if I do, indeed, decide that)
5. Is it too much? Monday - Boy Scouts, Wed - Girl Scouts and piano/choir, Thurs - gymnastics, plus instrument and piano practice?? OR is now the time for them to be digging in and finding out what they want to pursue in the future (somehow I think scouts might not last for either of them)?
6. PTO/vacation days - I think I will be able to accommodate several school holidays this fall and the Middle School Dances (committee member!), except for the day of Parent-Teacher Conferences, which is a student holiday (Darling Husband, can you take 10/23 off?)
7. Remaining PTO days and even The Holidays; yes, already thinking about that week off
8. The large piece of Harry and David milk chocolate sitting on my desk - should I eat it immediately or save it for an emergency chocolate situation?
9. Yoga - I've taken nearly an entire week off and I miss it. Even just the fifteen minutes at a time that I can manage. I want to get BETTER at it, too, but how/when?

So you can see there isn't any work getting done.

6th and 2nd Grades

Yesterday was School Orientation day. The little boy young man in our life, who squirmed nervously the night before his first day of Kindergarten, was assigned a middle school locker and a combination lock and will start 6th Grade. SIXTH! (It's fun, as you get older as a parent, and can actually remember your time in the grade your kid is entering. Sixth grade was a lot of fun for me and I'm praying he will love it, too.) He got a great teacher, I think, and yesterday his best friend's name was on the desk next to his own, so it's a happy start and he's curious/excited about the change to the Upper School Hallway, and all that entails.

The young lady in our life will start 2nd Grade, and once again, was pretty quiet when the teacher greeted her enthusiastically. She was also (rightfully) miffed at me, I think, because I left a lot of her supplies at home, whoops. They were the things that we are reusing from last year, like the purple pencil box, her headphones for computer lab and her old shirt for art class, but still, she couldn't check every single thing off the list on her desk. I would have been mad, too, but she got over it and when she went to bed last night the thing she was most concerned about is that she has to sit next to ALL BOYS. Smart teacher, I say. ;)

The mama was exhausted after our morning! Lugging textbooks up and down the hills and stairs was one thing, but the locker hallway was entirely another. I had to find scissors to undo the locker shelf from its stupidly-secure packaging; there wasn't enough room for everyone's backpacks and supplies so I kept having to get up and return to the classroom, then back to the locker; the locker wouldn't shut all the way; I saw a LOT of friends and fellow parents but didn't have ONE MINUTE to talk to any of them because of the kids and siblings everywhere. It made me think of high school, and how awful and crowded those halls were between classes. And it was like we didn't even notice! We WANTED to run into people, and walk by the boys we had crushes on, and hope they said hello! If I had to go through those kinds of crowds NOW on a daily basis.... ugh. But not kids - they'll thrive on all the energy and possibility.

So it was fun yesterday but it was HOT; someone had left the outside doors open and the AC was definitely not apparent. And finally, we missed some classmates who've left this year -- a lot of them, it seems. For valid reasons, but still... going into our seventh year together, with some key people missing, doesn't feel quite right. At least they still live nearby. In fact, I'm having lunch with my favorite mamas today, so we'll get to hear how the missing ones' kids are adjusting (they've been back in class all week already).

Off we go! Monday, ahoy!

Gifts we've given Hailey (so I don't repeat)

--age 1 birthday: Ball Popper!
--age 15 months Xmas: Melissa and Doug cookies set
--age 2 birthday: Disney Baby Princess. It was Aurora (pink).
--age 2.25 Christmas: Build-a-Bear pink bear with outfit
--age 3 birthday: Princess Cupcakes stacking game and Color Wonder markers set (princesses)
--age 3.25 Christmas: Sofia the First puzzles, clothes.

Solutions for Summer Blues

I scheduled this post back in January, when I was reading Swistle's brilliance about recognizing her Low Times.

So I've linked it there, to go back and see if any of the strategies she uses, or her commenters use, will help me remember: What you are feeling, Lee, is just a low period and it will pass. Be patient with yourself. 

And one other thing: Remember that next summer, you can hire a nanny instead. Try it. Some camps, some nannies.

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It's funny because I AM feeling a lot of ennui the last 2 days, but not for the "summer blues" reason of kids being bored at daycare camp and me not being able to have fun with them. It's more a my office thing, with its usual stupidity. Just like that time several months ago when I had no boss and no manager and no direction. The same is happening again, since they've iced me out of part of my job (the U.S. part) and that manager never has bothered to "connect" with me personally in the first place, and the new part of the job, (the Global Content Specialist part, sounds fancy, doesn't it?) hasn't started yet and so I'm not being invited to those meetings either. AND everyone is out. A couple of coworkers are traveling, one has been out on medical leave since June 30 (I think she's back next week), and the other has been out all this week with a combination of vacation/off-site meetings/sick days. I don't like the New Guy. It's just that the FRIENDS situation at work is lacking. SORELY lacking, I would say. My one really good friend, Shan, is about to take another job, I just know it. I'm happy for her. Jealous, too. But geez, she's the only person I'm comfortable going to lunch with! Seriously. Oh, bah. I'm done whining.

Little stuff and big stuff

Well, that's that for slowed-down summertime! This week, we've amped right back up to normal speed, and I have a full week of errands to run and things to do. This isn't necessarily bad, but did cause me to grab a sheet of paper last night to write it all down before I forgot.

• Uniforms - I'm hopeful that Alex will have at least one pair of correct pants and a shirt, and shoes, for the first week (he has to have all new uniform colors this year for middle school). Eek. Kate needs one more plaid jumper, too - tried them on  yesterday and... nope. I didn't intend to let it go this late, but on the other hand, I wasn't thinking of mid-July as that "late" for planning for the next schoolyear. 
• Pest control. Gotta be done, and it's definitely my turn for serviceman duty at the house. No biggie; I plan to put something in the crock pot (shredded BBQ chicken) while I'm there waiting for him on Thursday.
• Call to schedule Kate's gymnastics class for fall. -DONE!
• Pickup the kids' finished pottery at the Art Camp location - Calling on Shawn to handle this one, please, since it's closer to his office.
• School supplies - Kate and I bought hers this weekend because she saw the printed list and got excited about it (I don't blame her, it's the best part of Back to School), but Alex wasn't home from Scout camp yet. He came home Saturday afternoon.
• Middle School Dance Committee - I forgot I had scheduled a meeting this week of the moms on this committee; really another way of saying "dinner out with my friends," but talking about this volunteer job is going to get me a little panicky, I think. It's a big job as it turns out, and I'm not sure why I agreed to it. At least there are 3 of us.
• Having friends over Friday night! Why not?! They just moved to our neck of the woods and I was hoping to relieve them of having to cook/plan during those first few weeks of unpacking. I remember those nights from our move last year. I really like the couple (...I think our kids like/tolerate their kids), but as it turns out, it's kind-of a crazy week to do this. Oh well! Nothing like anticipating company for a housecleaning motivator.... so perhaps some vacuuming downstairs is also on the plan for this week, wheee!

In other news, I have had several heart-to-hearts with my sweet Kate-Kate this weekend/week --  some triggered by good things and I will leave it to your imagination for how the rest were triggered -- but gosh, do I love that challenging little girl. I said to her last night that being a parent, raising a person, can sometimes be so HARD for parents, and we don't always know what to do. Honesty, right? She was crying over something, and sobbed, "But WHY is it so hard to just RAISE somebody???" Why, indeed. She couldn't fathom. I suppose none of us can, until we do it. But gosh, it IS so hard, isn't it? Knowing what to say, and how to say it? And how not to say it? She's growing up before my eyes, and I know that because even through her fits and stubbornness, she's starting to feel right and wrong, and more important, empathy. She frequently tells me, after an episode, that she's worried she's hurt us, Shawn and me, by being disrespectful. Yesterday I got to tell her, "YOU ARE LOVED, NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO. You can't ruin that or mess that up, ever. Period." ....I can't put into words how honored I felt to teach that big and significant lesson, both in words and in actions. And grateful for the grace of that moment.

It's excellent timing before her First Penance next spring, too. She'll be ready, I think. Age of Reason. Pretty smart, Catholicism.

Also interesting re: Saint Claude de la Columbiere.

...


Back to my busy week, I guess, but I'm basking in the big stuff to reflect on, to keep perspective. Grace. Love. We can't mess up badly enough to ruin it. We do make mistakes, but we're still loved absolutely.

Job-y

Small things in the grand scheme but I need to vent a few thoughts about work today. Not the way I usually do! Just about the way my company seems to operate. UGH. You won't believe it.

In the last 2 weeks it was decided to split my job description in half and hire someone to replace one half of my function, without telling me beforehand. They told me on a Friday, New Guy started the very next Monday.

This is bad enough on its own. But they way they're treating and "training" him -- and I use the terms very loosely -- is frustrating me even more. On his first day, my manager set up three meetings, me with New Guy. Not her, too -- no "leadership" involved, just hello, here is your replacement, start training him. No instruction about these meetings, just a title that appeared in my calendar. "B2B training, 10:00 am." No pre-training discussion at all about how these responsibilities are going to be divided in the future, if I'm handing them off completely or if/how we will split the tasks. I don't know what New Guy knows, or what he doesn't. So I did the sessions, but he hadn't yet had any BASIC company training, like WHAT PRODUCTS WE SELL, or anything. It's... been a cluster.

Aside from that, his 2nd day here, his (my) manager was out of town. She had scheduled him a few meetings, I guess, but I think he was floating around, mostly unsure what to do. I know he left early that day with her blessing (via email), because she didn't have anything else for him. Fine, understandable. Did I mention he was taking notes on printer paper he scrounged up? He was given no supplies. No legal pad. No company catalog. Nothing to study besides what I had emailed him for our "trainings." Nothing.

Today he asked me, "Is there like, a microwave around where I can warm up something?" AYFKM?! I would have done these types of things -- building tour, product catalog introduction -- but I wasn't given a copy of his schedule and didn't know if someone else was already doing it. I assumed they were but GUESS WHAT? Nope.

Finally yesterday, I think my role has been sorted out by my new bosses. There was definitely miscommunication among upper management because my current boss and my future bosses had differing opinions about my tasks. The timeline for "transition" has been established. I'm to keep working on my same stuff, status quo, until Sept 30, and train/transition as necessary. After that, I leave X, X, and X responsibilities behind and do only Y responsibilities. I will be suuuuuuper grateful for that day. In the meantime I have to decide when/how to train and share my stuff, because apparently no one else will tell me. That's fine, I am a responsible person and could manage a team better than they are, obviously, so I can manage this, but ZOMG, as we  used to say.

ZOMG.

Home decor, yippie!

We just ordered this pretty patio table and chairs set, on sale, for delivery next week. And an umbrella. YAY!! I am so excited for dinners and weekend mornings outside. Shawn said he expects to always be asking "Where's your Mom?" and the kids to answer, "Outside on the patio," after we get this set...since I've insisted we get it so... heartily.

He and I have been having so much fun homecaring the last week or so, since coming back from vacation, that it's really starting to feel like "We have a beautiful home we are proud of." This makes me happy. We've bought and hung (expensive-ish) framed art, put up some curtains in the main living room, cleaned top to bottom, including the front porch ceiling, columns and windows, and picked up the kids' crap which is usually everywhere. God love 'em. I hope they don't feel like they can't just BE, in the house. We don't nag too much, I don't think. When Kate's stuff multiplies we just pile it up on the bench in the den and ask her to take it upstairs. Sometimes she does that. Sometimes we even help her. And shoes. Socks and shoes seem to also fly all over the house and land in the middles of rooms.

Mom and Dad are planning to haul their piano, which was Grandmother's piano, to our house soon. I am excited about this, definitely. I've never "wanted" it before because I really didn't have any place for it. Now I actually have a place, and really, have wanted it all along. How awesome will it be to have a real piano, and the one I played as a child? I think THAT room will start to feel like a grown-up living room, as well, as soon as it's installed. I am a bit sorry for them, not to have a piano at their house anymore. But Mom says no one ever plays it down there, so I'm trying not to be sad. Nor think about the general idea that they're giving me big furniture, as generations do... nope, not thinking about that.

Next up on the projects list: A gallery wall upstairs. We have some items ready for it, and have Pinterested some ideas and tips for inspiration. Just need to find the time to work on it and hammer those holes into the wall. :) We still need to figure out a bookshelf solution for the guest room/play room. And last on my list is to find something new to hang over the bed in the master bedroom.

Well, not last. There's never really a last project with a home, is there? Thank goodness. More fun to come. Future projects: extend the back patio slab (and make it nicer-looking), which will then require fixing/replacing the fence on that side of the house... Fire Pit and comfy chairs around it... this morning I was thinking about a little running bird-bath / water-feature.... lots in the backyard, it would seem!