We Are All So Sick of Meals

That title seems negaitve, but I intend this post to be a little more cheerful than the last couple! I haven't posted what we've been eating in a while. And I know that what to eat has been on everyone's minds ad nauseum -- aren't you so sick of meals? I am.

I'm so thankful my kids will EAT now, though. All of you with littles who are super picky, I salute you and stand in solidarity; I know this time must be extra hard with that complication. AND the unavailability of any frozen chicken nuggets anywhere! (At least that has been the case at my Publix -- the prepared chicken freezer cases are absolutely BARE.)

We are making do, and have yet to really tap into our now-fully-stocked emergency stash of Spaghetti-Ohs and dried beans. I've worked hard to build that stash up over the last few weeks, and have found plenty to eat with my slightly-less-than-weekly grocery runs. I used to go every weekend, but have been getting 8 or 9 days out of a trip, rather than just 7.

We just recently decided we are all kind-of over Hello Fresh, and the credit card was feeling the weekly hit. It was great when I couldn't find meats in the stores, but we're skipping the next several weeks and will have to rely on my own recipe books and culinary prowess (I won't say "talent") to get us through. Ha!

This week we've had, after our 2 HF meals:

Cereal/You're On Your Own - was it Tuesday or Wednesday that I just could NOT ...? I can't remember. I think Weds.

Bush's White Bean Chicken Chili - so easy, and really, pantry staples. We serve it over rice and had at least 2 helpings of leftovers.

Smoked sausage with tater tots, canned green beans - look, I didn't say I was winning any awards, here, just getting food on the table. We included a Texas Chocolate Sheetcake for dessert -- one of the things I make (learned from my Mom, hi Mom!) -- that my family does love. Our recipe is similar to PW's, linked there, but has a couple of secret ingredients, bourbon and cinnamon, which give it just a slight edge over any other Texas Sheetcake out there. We needed cake last night; it was our "Shawn had to buy 4 new tires AND has a toothache and Summer Camp Was Canceled" Cake. Medicinal Cake, if you will.

Next week's plan is currently being formulated. I may have to visit 2 grocery stores (ugh) so I don't take too many items from one section at any one store, eek. It's been at least 9 days and we're low on stuff. Here are some things on the menu:

Bacon Ranch Pasta with salad and garlic bread

Oven Cheeseburger Sliders, YUM, if I can find ground beef

BBQ chicken thighs, with roasted broccoli and butterered rice (I have had these thighs in the freezer for a while now; I don't like making this recipe because it smokes up the kitchen. Do you have a better recipe for chicken thighs? I would be open to suggestions.)

We will definitely order in one night this weekend, and I am also planning a pizza order on a weeknight. Of course, living in GA I suppose we could just join the other germy citizens and go out to eat next week, woooo!

JUST KIDDING. It is ridiculous to even consider it yet.

On Working During C-19

Okay, time for some real talk. I am, in my heart of hearts, so happy with this Temporarily Permanent Work From Home Situation. I looooooove working from home; I love being in my home, for me it makes working more tolerable. I'm saving literal hours a day by not commuting, and not having to pick up kids after school. Even with them here during the day, I'm happier than Before, because this is really an amazing quantity of TIME I wouldn't have had with them otherwise (never mind that we're in our rooms working or on devices a lot of the time).

However. This week, I have found it extremely hard to focus. Or, more specifically, it feels like my time working has been monumentally inefficient. I feel like I only work in fits and starts, and as a result I only really accomplish one or two tasks a day. Like, one e-newsletter composed and sent. One webpage created and published. Granted, both of those involve writing, finding and sizing photos, testing, editing, etc. - they're not just simple tasks. But still, it's a low number.

I'm trying really hard to plan my days carefully, like this:
7:30 - 9 work (do email newsletter + website update)
9 - 9:15 break - go outside
9:15 - 11:00 work (mtg, followup)
11-12 work (tasks)
12-1 lunch w/kids
1-3 work
3-3:30 break - walk
3:30-4:30 work (finalize tasks)

It seems like there are meetings nearly every day, which throw me off. 9:30 or 10 is smack in the middle of what could be deeply-focused "flow" time.

And then there are the personal interruptions. I will just sit myself down at the laptop and then the doorbell rings. Or a cat throws up. Or I have to go to the bathroom. Or a kid asks for help with a poetry report.

Maybe one accomplishment per day is enough to ask of myself during this weirdness. Maybe companies should lower their standards, and I should, personally, as well. I've seen the meme that says, "You're not working from home, you're at home trying to get work done." It's a subtle difference, but an important mind-shift. But as this becomes more permanent, I feel like I should be settling into making it as good, as productive, as before.

Probably not realistic. And again, it's fine, it's fiiiiiiiiine, this is absolutely the way I would WANT to spend my days if I could choose, but along with having been off for 2 weeks (and seeing a 2nd furlough likely in early May), it's reducing my motivation significantly.

This checks out.

Furlough Week Report

I am grateful for last week's furlough. Especially as I look back on it while staring at my work Inbox, with its meetings and tasks for THIS week. I am having a hard time returning.

Aside from the kitchen closet clean-out and finishing World Without End as "major accomplishments," it was definitely a quiet week for me. 

• I washed/changed the sheets on all the beds in the house. 
• Kate and I straightened up the front yard after an overnight thunderstorm. 
• I did some filing (but did not do the oil business spreadsheet). 
• I think I vacuumed, but can't quite remember.
• I worked out frequently, including a couple of lovely yoga half-hours outside in beautiful weather.
• I started another book, and nearly finished it.
• I hand-sewed myself a mask from some fabric scraps (it isn't too pretty but it works -- I've worn it 3 times already, and have become very determined to wear it when I'm out).
• Yesterday for some strange reason I decided I needed to Windex all the downstairs windows.
• I showered and put on makeup once or twice, oh, and I do have a very nice looking home-mani/pedi. 

I don't know -- I guess I thought those 2 weeks would somehow be more ....profound? Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed them immensely. I spent a lot of quiet time to myself, reflecting, experiencing the birds and breezes. Not having to think about work or sit at my laptop all day was very freeing, and I'm grateful. On Wednesday, though, I texted Mom and Jill and said I felt "unmoored." I cried that day -- not about feeling unmoored, but just about this whole situation, and the kids not knowing if they'll go back to school in the fall. My guilty conscience had something to say about that: You have 2 weeks off and you've found a way to complain about it! "Unmoored?!" You're free! Way to be the champion of whining.

But on Thursday, I practiced "acknowledging and accepting my feelings," and that was better. As a result I didn't accomplish much that day.

Ah, well. It's over now, and I'm back to my heating pad, my notebook, and Microsoft Outlook.

A couple of other important things I learned: 

1. It helps to open the window blinds every day. Let light in.
2. The less I do, less I want to do. 

Better get to it. Two meetings today, beginning at noon. Thank God it's still working from home. I really, really hope I can carry this into the Return to Normal, and WFH a couple of days a week permanently. I will argue for it, that's for sure. 

Pandemic Spring Break and other Random Things

Our Spring Break went about as expected; the kids were somewhat bored, but we found things to do I guess. The most memorable was a long walk we took, cutting through a couple of side-yards to get to the subdivision next to ours, where we commenced wandering. Following our noses. It was a beautiful day, sunny and warm, and such a different experience to see unfamiliar houses and yards, instead of the same 40 we see every day in our own small neighborhood. (It really is the little things.)

I dug out my square wooden plates/trays that were a wedding gift, and we used them to have lunch on the couch one day -- again, in "little things" revelations, Kate said, "This is so fun!"

We finished our 2nd puzzle (750 pieces), and now I need to order some new ones online, although I question whether it's a justified expense, not getting a paycheck and all.

We spent Saturday evening in the backyard, with a fire in the fire pit and some games of cornhole, complete with s'mores made using Easter peeps. (I now think it's the only way to eat them.) It was a lovely night. I still want to buy plastic Adirondack chairs, though.

And then we had Easter Sunday, subdued. I saw several people post photos of their families dressed up anyway. We did not do that, lol. For once, my tendency to wait until Holy Week to shop for Easter outfits didn't matter one bit. We watched Mass in our PJs (painful, again, since Kate fussed the whole time about having to do it), we opened baskets during the homily, and then had to get over being grumpy to enjoy the rest of the day. Ugh. I just can't, anymore, with video Masses. Felt I had to for Easter, but I'm out. I did make a traditional Easter dinner of ham, deviled eggs, mashed potatoes, etc. But our hearts weren't in it, I didn't think.

This week it's furlough for me and the kids are back to online school-ish. Yesterday I was really productive, cleaning out a closet in our kitchen that is where we keep recycling, cat food, and random other junk. It felt really good to get rid of things we weren't ever going to use, like silver chargers that are too big for my dining room table, a Captain America waffle iron, and about 15 old cookbooks that have not been opened since 2002. I did a load or two of laundry, and some filing in the office. 

Other notes:

• I'm currently out of half and half, so guess what? Using Redi-Whip in my coffee, and not even sorry.
• I'm using my old carafe coffee maker, not the newer Keurig, because those pods are more expensive than regular coffee, and I'm also drinking more than 1 cup (more than 2, even) these days at home.
• I have worn a scarf-as-mask at the grocery store only once. I'm not seeing everyone at my stores wearing them, not even all the staff. I feel guilt about not wearing one, but ugh, it's awful. I really hope we aren't forced to wear them all the time. I have some things I need to return at Target today or tomorrow, and I guess I'll wear it.
• I called our vet, who had advertised house-calls for annual checkups. That would be so much easier than packing our cats into their carriers! But they will charge a fee for it, and annual checkups are already pretty expensive.... so I don't know.
• The Archdiocese is holding out on cancelling the rest of the school year, even though the Georgia governor has cancelled public school. We got a letter yesterday saying Catholic schools will remain closed until May 8, and reevaluate at that time. I think they're being ridiculous.
• We (us, Jill, Mom and Dad) had a virtual happy hour last Friday, and it was fun! Planning on it again this Friday. We're trying to drink the same drinks -- last week it was White Russians -- but also use what we have on-hand. Doesn't matter, really, but it's fun to try. 
• Finished the 1,000-page book. It was great, but really strange to be reading about the Bubonic Plague from the 14th century, During These Times.
• My fervent prayer lately is just that things are back to somewhat normal by August, so the kids will be able to go back to school. I will grieve for Alex if marching band is cancelled. This week, he's applying for a leadership position in the band for next year. I've made peace with this year being called off. But if it extends into next... I just can't think about that. 
• We all need haircuts but we're too chicken to try doing it ourselves. Alex said he doesn't like his so long, but I figure it's as good a time as any to see what he looks like with longer hair, since no one of consequence is seeing it. It's definitely the longest it's ever been in his life. 
• I only have 2 Reese's eggs left in my freezer!

Pandemic Diaries: Day 26

We have been mostly at home for 26 days.

(Except dear Shawn, working hard for us in an office without much work to do. He said they're discussing a reduction of their hours -- not of pay, yet, but hours. Makes sense if there's nothing to do.)

What we've been doing on the homefront:

This past weekend was really lovely -- I'm finding that to be true during COVID-19, the weekends are so nice. Time at home, without extra obligations, really feels restful. Imagine that! I would like it to continue, please, after this crisis has passed, although who knows what kind of lives we'll lead by then. Or when. I really wonder when things will be normal again. Today I read a very optimistic email from one of Kate's teachers, saying, "[we'll do X] if the stay-at-home order is lifted by April 13," and... I doubt it will be, ma'am. Nice try, but no. 

Anyway, Saturday I feel like we were able to all do what we like. I read my book, Shawn played some video games in the daylight, Alex too, and I think Alex also practiced clarinet in prep for his lesson on Sunday, and Kate made TikTok videos and probably played with Adrianna. We've completed one puzzle, and we started a family game of Monopoly that I hope we'll finish tonight.

On Sunday morning, I reluctantly put on our parish's Palm Sunday Mass livestream. It was incredibly boring, I have to say. I mean, our church isn't known for being exciting, and it was our most boring priest, and the Palm Sunday Passion gospel reading, the longest of the year, took FOREVER, and there was only one musician, singing, behind the camera. It... doesn't make for the best television. ;) But we suffered through it to assuage my guilt. We watched in our jammies. The kids checked their phones a few times during the service. (Fine, whatever.) When it was over, I got out the Easter baskets and a few other small decorations. Yesterday I ordered 2 small items each for the kids from Amazon, and at Publix I found some candy to put in their baskets, and that's going to have to suffice. I also bought ham and asparagus, and I suppose I'll make them on Sunday and maybe even serve them on the good china at 2pm, to make it official. 

Sunday our one outing was taking Alex to his clarinet teacher's house. I wondered if we'd get "caught" doing something non-essential. But we didn't. And I let him drive us home. In another instance of bad timing, Alex's 2 two-hour driving lessons with an instructor were cancelled, and with nowhere we can go, it's hard to get him driving experience. I guess we'll have to start just taking a drive for that reason -- good thing is, the streets are empty.

We're also, of course, taking walks in the neighborhood.

This week begins the kids' Spring Break and my furlough weeks. I am finally a stay at home mom. ;) My fear about this week is that the days will all seem the same, and will go by too fast. We don't usually take big trips over Spring Break, but this year we had planned to go to Pensacola, to meet my sister's fiance's 3 boys and see Mom and Dad. It is a huge bummer not to get to do that. Maybe we should plan a FaceTime chat with them. 

For Spring Break Day 1, we watched 2 episodes of Survivor (don't judge, it's really fun), I went grocery shopping (Kate couldn't come with me since that is not recommended at this time), we had lunch outside on the front porch, played a card game, had time on our own for reading/whatever, and then the kids had to make dinner because I cut my stupid finger trying to slice onions. !! 

What we're eating: 

We've been trying to get take-out once a week, to help the economy but also keep our budget in mind, and on Saturday what the kids wanted was Culver's burgers. Meh. It was fine but not really what the adults wanted. Adults get to choose this weekend. 

Our home dinner menu this week includes:

S - Hello Fresh meal #1, which was a "southwestern" (debatable) sausage and rice casserole, basically. Delicious. 

M - HF #2, pork burgers with caramelized onions and roasted potatoes. Also delicious, moreso because the kids cooked it. ;)

T - Turkey Sausage, roasted broccoli, and cinnamon apples I made myself from some pink lady apples that weren't being eaten as snacks (am so proud, usually I buy those from the frozen section, lol)

W - Chicken Fried Rice

Th - Rotini with meat sauce, and salad and garlic bread. (lots of bread lately... I'd even like to make my own, but I cannot find yeast in the stores.) 

F - I think I'm going to make shrimp etouffee over rice (lots of rice, too), with a lonely little can of shrimp I bought at Publix. Sacrificial Good Friday dinner, you know.

I'm also having to think more about lunches, since we're all real sick of sandwiches. I bought some Lunchables yesterday and Kate said "they're so cute!" Lololol. Some other alternate things I might offer are potato soup, make-your-own pizzas in lieu of pizza Hot Pockets, which the kids are eating a LOT of, snacky lunch, and oh, hey, surprise, leftovers. ;) 

How we feel:

I'm still not really able to watch the national news. Or maybe I should say, I just don't want to. I'm reading the local newspaper (reduced number of print days), and mostly avoiding Twitter. Like I said, the main emotion is that these 2 weeks are going to go by too fast and I won't have made the most of them. So job number one right now is: Savor what we can. Breathe deep. Smile more. Spend time together. Make it count.

School's Out Forever

Georgia's governor finally decided to declare this a big deal and issued a stay at home order yesterday. I'm glad my county had acted ahead of him on that, and we've been staying home as much as possible (minus a few food runs). His order also included that kids will not go back to schools in Georgia this year. Boom.

It felt so sad and pessimistic to actually hear it for sure; we suspected this was likely to happen, but yesterday it became true and just felt heavy and final. Watching the press conference made me cry. There he was, trying to say things like "we'll be back, with strength and courage," when none of us really feels like that at this moment.

Oh well. I mean, we can't control what we can't control.

Today* I put on makeup, real pants, and shoes that were not lace-up sneakers (Skechers slip-ons, but still). I don't think it made a huge difference in my mood, but I felt like I at least needed to try. I did get a new pair of yoga pants, by the way. They're extra soft and we will become very close friends immediately.

Here's one thing I'm not doing well: faith/Catholicism During This Time. I mean, Lent was quickly out the window when it all began; I started comfort-eating sweets and desserts immediately, which was what I'd given up. The cliche of "gave up everything in Lent 2020" fits here, and I don't even feel bad about it. But, because the bishops of Atlanta lifted Catholics' Sunday obligation, I haven't been requiring that we attend any online Masses. Nor even wanting to. I skimmed this article today, but it didn't make want to livestream Masses. And Easter? No motivation, I gotta tell you. At some point we could get out the home decorations....Maybe. I haven't decided yet about an Easter dinner. All that fuss? There's some guilt building, because I know I shouldn't deny my kids the holiday, and more important, their own practice of faith, just because I'm not feeling it. But, ugh, it exhausts me to think about it if I'm honest. Do we mark Good Friday by being somber and fasting? We're already kinda down already, you know?

I'm doing plenty of prayer and gratitude by myself (this Catholic's preferred method), but I know I have some parental responsibility, too. It will be curious what these weeks (months?) will do for this generation of kids; will they decide that they can get along without churches/synagogues, as they grow older? Or will those buildings fill back up as soon as we're allowed, and people proceed with more fervor because everyone will have missed Community? I don't know.

Deep thoughts on a Wednesday.


*Wendy's for lunch, chili for dinner; working/watching Liv & Maddie reruns; and feeling fine-ish/whatever.

Pandemic Diaries, Week 3, Day 2

It's Week 3 at home. Who could have predicted this? It's crazy. I remain grateful; during Week 1 my password was about to expire, so I changed it and in it I use the phrase "work from home gift," becaue it really is one. I think the kids have settled in and found their schoolwork rhythm; I have, too... resigned to the fact that more than 7.0 hours of work is near-impossible, and that is OKAY. (I no longer count them up -- haven't at all, in fact, since this thing started.) Diligently working on the daily tasks, and actually grateful that there are new ones every day, like writing a COVID update email; someone's whim that we should post XYZ on social media; putting together a spreadsheet of gifts we can send our customers. It's good that even the pandemic is giving me some concrete tasks to do; I prefer them to nebulous "planning" and strategizing work.

Yesterday, though, our company announced temporary (I stress temporary) furloughs, and I was on the list. That's a stomach-sinking word, isn't it? Furlough. I remember when my dad changed his career and became a commercial airline pilot. There were, at that time, a lot of newer, start-up airlines. That was a blessing for him (the stalwarts like Delta wouldn't hire newbies like himself), and a curse, because just as soon as he'd get hired and trained, business would dive and they'd furlough employees... usually for good. I know it happened at least twice, maybe more. It didn't scare me as a tween too much, but there was some household uncertainty around that time, and I really feel for him, having to go through that. Probably wondering what he'd gotten himself and his family into.

And now here I am: starting next Monday, which was the first day of our Spring Break, I'll be fuloughed for 2 weeks. There are a LOT of blessings in it: the company will sign us up for unemployment pay, we don't have to do anything (apparently); we keep our health insurance; it's only 2 weeks in April (and possibly May, but that isn't decided yet); we can use PTO days if we want, and continue getting our full salary (I haven't decided yet); we keep our jobs. And the silver lining is: A 2-week break. A luxury.

Will I use the time wisely (paint a room? finally organize my dad's oil business stuff?) or squander it, is the real question. Gosh it'll be tempting to absolutely laze around. Finish my 1,000-page book and start the Jodi Picoult I ordered and picked up, curbside, last week. Watch Mrs. Maisel 8 hours a day (why can't I get that series going? I want to love it). Day drink. LOL Look what I found at Publix, speaking of:

Watermelon Rose? You'd better believe I grabbed that and its friend, Peach Rose.

Of course everyone knows being lazy isn't good on a long-term basis, and I guess the kids will still have school work to do (minus Spring Break, of course). So we'll see. I haven't told them yet, and am trying to figure out how to do that gently.

Eating:
We're fine on food. Eating mostly the same that we always do. About to run out of chicken breasts. Tonight is Taco Tuesday, if I can run out and get a tomato (or I might not, it isn't that critical). Health-wise, I am trying to not eat all the breads this week; I'm feeling bloated and like none of my shorts fit, and it's hot enough for shorts.

Doing:
We binged a season of Survivor; that is some good entertainment. Shawn and I used to watch it 18 years ago, and there's a reason it's lasted that long. The kids, especially Kate, really got into it, and it was fun and funny to develop feelings about the players. I think the Amazing Race would also be fun, if I can convince her to try it with me (Shawn and I also loved that one back in the day).

We've also been working on puzzle #1, and the kids are actually patient enough to have spent a lot of time on it. Color me surprised!

Neighbor-wise, we've been okay. Adrianna has a kiddie 4-wheeler, and wants Kate to ride it with her, and that's been a hard NO. We watched her drive it around the corner yesterday and nearly tip it over - she was going pretty fast - and now is not the time for a potetntial emergency room visit, (!!!) so yeah. No no no no no no and I don't feel one bit bad about it.

Kate and I went to Target yesterday for some necessities (like shorts that fit, ugh) and saw a dude there who was legitimately scary. I think because of coronavirus, he was dressed head-to-toe in black, with a long SKIRT (like a priest's cassock), black gloves, a wide-brimmed black hat, and a black mask covering most of his face, like a burka. !!!! What the What? BIZARRE.

Feeling:
Huh. Well, yesterday's aforementioned stomach-drop started a whole new set of emotions for me. We've all been saying "we're in this together," and now suddenly I'm not just praying for other people whose finances will take a little hit. I've been sleeping well, I think, but having some complicated dreams. Last night I finally think I got a really good night's rest; I can tell because I woke up with no dream memories.

Counting down to vacation, now... hope you're all well! xx

Dear Diary, again: Let's Go Shopping

I've enjoyed starting my days with a little journaling online, here. It falls into the "8 am - 9 am breakfast, email, planning" category on my calendar. Today I am BRISK CLAPping myself into a better mood.

I don't know if I will be outside as much: the pollen count has shot up in metro Atlanta, to 3,600 or thereabouts. Yikes. That is a lot of flipping pollen. So I have to decide which is worse, pet dander inside or yellow dust outside? We'll see. A puff on the inhaler may be penciled in for me this morning.

Right after I get up from the heating pad which is helping my lower back. I mean, sheesh, of all the injustices, working from home is the gift that's giving me back pain.

But I am not here to complain, for once. Today I will tell you about some things I have in various online shopping carts. Because what else can we do?

1. More yoga pants. Really, why do I only have 2 pairs, and both of them so old? This must be rectified immediately. I can't continue sitting around my own house (with a heating pad) in regular pants. (Any brand recommendations?)

2. More t-shirts. We are in a CRISIS, people, this is no time for Stitch Fix blouses.

3. Puzzles. When my family tried to do a puzzle 5 years ago, I went big with a 1500-piece. That was a mistake and we never finished it. Didn't even get close, and, defeated, we donated it. So I have a 550 and a 750 in my cart at Barnes & Noble; they're available for pickup at my local store (yay! maybe today!), and I happen to have a B&N gift card.

4. BeautyCounter "essence" and night cream. I love this set but they don't run out at the same rate, so I am needing a few things. These are totally unnecessary luxuries, but with a 10% off deal, I might just hit "Purchase."

5. Outdoor throw pillows. Since I only entertain my neighbors outdoors anymore, some pretty new pillows would freshen up the back patio nicely. I'd pair these with the 4 Adirondack chairs I've wanted for years, which I will buy for $20 each from Kroger, I hope.

6. My company actually makes these super-comfy tank tops, with the bra built in. No bra required! You need one (or 4). They're pricey, but worth it, believe me. They work for workouts, sleeping, or under Stitch Fix blouses. They run tight, so if you normally wear a size 10, I strongly recommend a 12.

What are you about to impulse-buy?

Week 2, Day 3 (I think. It's Wednesday, right?)

Nice things that have happened recently:

• I got a text from a friend asking how I was doing. It was just what I needed at just the right time and felt so good to be honest and say, "I'm not sure. I feel kinda sad today" etc.
• The rain stopped and it's around 68 degrees outside with lots of birdsong.
• I FaceTimed my Mom and Dad this morning at 10:15 just because I could.
• Hello Fresh brings groceries right to my door.
• Alex was part of this Virtual Band video - so cool! (You can't see him, but his name is in the credits and he did turn in the assignment for it.)

Some things that have not gone so great:

• Alex was frustrated about Algebra II (I don't blame him. That's a subject, IME, that you really do need a teacher for).
• Kate was frustrated about Social Studies AND Science assignments this morning, meaning she was talking (whining) to me about them and I couldn't get anything of my own work done.
• I feel scattered and unable to focus anyway.
• I am trying to set a schedule for myself each day; but then Shan pings me on Skype and it's during the time I was going to workout, so then I have to rearrange my schedule entirely.
• Ashley and kids were over here yesterday on the trampoline (I cheerily said last Sunday in a text message, after declining their dinner invite, "the trampoline is still open!") ... for one thing, it was so muddy out and I didn't want them tracking in mud, but then she offered to bring over wine, and I let her, and we had a few nice minutes on the back porch... but then her 1 year-old wanted to go inside (my house) and she assumed I wouldn't allow it, which (is mostly true, but because of the mud, too, not just the virus, and) made him cry, and then the whole thing was totally awkward and not fun.
• Nothing I want/need at the store is available for a pick-up order, so I'm going to have to go there in person and doing that lately makes me feel a little anxious. 

So. How are you? 

Week 2 Begins: The Same, But With Rain

It was better when the weather was good, last week. Yesterday it rained all day, and today promises the same, making us feel cooped up instead of on "vacation." I mean, of course it isn't a vacation, but you know.

I'm still super grateful for this time, whenever I think about it really. Yesterday was a tough one, though. Stress and discomfort are kind-of starting to pierce through, and it shows in arguments and frustrations with each other or with our work. But we'll get through it, I guess. Every day is a chance to try again.

What we ate:
Yesterday's fight was about lunch, because apparently I'd promised Chick Fil A drive-through. I did not recall ever saying that, and it was rainy and we have lots of food that needs to be eaten, so I refused. It did not turn out well. For dinner we made chicken tenders, green beans and roasted potatoes. We're not as snacky during the days as I thought we'd be, although we have plenty of snacks. However, we're dessert-y. ;) Yesterday since Kate didn't have much work to do, I asked her to make us Jell-O (orange).

We we did:
Not much. My workday was hijacked around 4:15 as my managers anticipated that the governor was going to shut Georgia down, and therefore we had to get ready. I scrambled to write a "COVID-19 update" email, then had to watch the press conference... then he didn't do what we thought. We decided to postpone until today. But even before that, my day was borked. Meetings in the morning, the CFA argument around noon, and then I couldn't focus after that. I didn't get much accomplished, I didn't workout really, and I felt meh. Alex worked more efficiently because he made himself a schedule. Shawn worked at his office. He's likely going to quit going to his gym for now, and Lana, who cuts our hair, called to cancel Shawn's appt this week.

How we felt: See above. I'm starting to wonder when we'll be able to go back to normal. Shawn brought up how the kids, at this time of their lives, are really supposed to be WITH other kids. It's going to mess with their development, we predict. And Alex's band director wrote a long email, addressing the seniors in particular. He wrote, "I hope we'll get to make music together again," and it made me cry.

Another thing: The world is providing all kinds of fun, free online entertainment and learning and "group chats" and stuff, but we aren't really taking advantage of any of it. I'm not sure why -- partly because it overwhelms me. Partly because I don't want to "impose" things on the kids by making them watch or do anything they don't want to. And then I think, "I'm not being a very good parent-leader." (Because maybe these things would help us all feel good.) So that's great.

Finally: I'm worried about my friend S., from Life of a Doctor's Wife! S., where are you? Are you okay?

One bright spot last night: AFV. People are still doing stupid things and recording them, and they (and their pets) make us laugh.

COVID Weekend 1

Gosh, I hope there won't be too many covid weekends. We had our first, though, and it was a relief.

What we did:
First of all, to put away my laptop in its bag, plus all of its wires and accoutrements -- a pen and pencil, my paper planner, my notebook, a box of labels I had used, the pillow for my back -- helped things look much more orderly. By Friday, I was itching to straighten up all the shoes and socks by the back door, papers on countertops, etc. With three of us here all day, that stuff just seemed to accumulate. Not to mention the dirt and fallen blossoms we kept tracking in from outside (we've been lucky to have good weather during this so far, so all of us have been outside and back in multiple times a day -- well, that's not true, Alex doesn't go outside as much as Kate and I do). So anyway, I cleaned downstairs first thing. I have been wiping doorknobs and light switch plates every day with a Clorox wipe, and will continue to do that, but a good full cleaning made me feel SO much better. Vacuumed, scrubbed the kitchen sink and counters, and put stuff away.

We signed our taxes and paid the CPAs. I took a nap Saturday after reading some of my book. I did a yoga video and painted my toenails.

The most memorable thing was a bummer of a conversation with my neighbor. She'd invited us to dinner. At first I said yes, but the more I thought about it, the more guilt crept in, and I felt like we really shouldn't be doing that. :( It was hard and I still feel bad, but she said she understood. I didn't mean that the kids couldn't play at all this week, but I think that's how she's going to take it. Maybe I'll have to send Kate over there at some point. It's just... all the articles say social distancing is not supposed to include dinner parties. Sigh. I don't know, maybe it was unkind of me - we humans need each other, after all - but it seemed like the right thing to do. I tried to let it go on my yoga mat, but apparently I'm still feeling bad about it.

On Sunday, Alex had his first private clarinet lesson. It seemed to go well and I'm happy he wants more instruction. We watched a couple of movies ("Big," and I will never again suggest an '80s movies to these kids, and "Dark Phoenix" which was pretty good). Sunday night after dinner we played a game of Carcassone.

What we ate:
On Saturday, we got take-out from Moe's for lunch, and Chili's for dinner. It felt like a little luxury. And on Sunday, instead of our neighbor's pot roast, we had a Hello Fresh meal (pork carnitas tacos, I liked them). We also made brownies. And Kate saw something online she wanted to try -- a frothy coffee cream (whipped by hand!) over a glass of milk. It was pretty yummy but took forever to whip! P.S. I have let any and all discipline about eating go out the window.

How we felt:
Mostly normal, and good. I think some of the stress of the work-week dissipated. Shawn got out in the yard and that made him feel better to Do Something; introverted me didn't mind being home reading at all!

I'm really not looking forward to work this week. I love working at home, but I'm not motivated on this Monday morning. We will see what the day holds. Kate supposedly won't have any new assignments until Tuesday (gah). She has been instructed to read a book and practice piano. I have a meeting with Shan at 9:00, and then a full staff meeting at 10:30.

Pandemic Diaries: Days 4 and 5

Yesterday was a busy one, and different; I met Shan at the office for some work we couldn't do from home (printing a mailing on letterhead that had been delivered to us there). It was nice to see friends, but I did feel weird about being with other people. We worked about 3 hours, then went to lunch - took it to go, sat outside.

Adrianna comes over in the afternoons. We haven't invited her, I mean - she just comes over and rings the doorbell. I still don't feel great about it. On Day 3, we all went on a hike together (except Alex, who was in the middle of clarinet recordings). We continue reading that "this is not the time for playdates!" but... I know the kids are bored, and I know the mom next door needs a break sometimes - they also have an 18-month old. Still, I don't like it and don't really want to host Adrianna every single day of this 2-week stint. But there's no nice way to say that, especially now that I've already allowed it to happen. They play outside a good bit, but also inside. I don't know. Probably someday soon the governor WILL order people to stay at home, like California has just done, and then it will be a given (I hope). I think sometimes Adrianna leaves the house without asking her mom. :/

What we've eaten:
All the usual stuff. Kate made pasta for her lunch yet again yesterday (I was at the office or I'd have stopped her). It's fine, it's fine, and yet... save the stuff that will keep, child. Today we should get a Hello Fresh box and i'm happy about that. But tonight we plan to order and pickup from Chili's. I guess to support them? I'm not exactly sure - Shawn's driving that. I guess that means Alex, at least, will eat meat, even though it's Lent. We're all forgetting about Lent. I'm eating cookies and not feeling guilt. Comfort food. Bah.

Activities:
Yesterday Kate had a poem as one of her assignments, and she complained like it was a 12-page math packet. I would have LOVED to have a whole day to work on a poem! (I think my dream job is POET.) But she just wanted it DONE. It was so odd to me, that she fought against that.

We've played some frisbee in the backyard (already getting mosquito bites from it, though, gah), and Kate took another walk with the neighbors. On Day 3 I think, we had lunch on the front porch, which was fun. Reminded me of days off when they were little.

How we feel:
Stress is showing itself in different ways. Mine is that I can't do all the housework and the work-work that needs doing. When I WFH for a day, I can tell myself I don't HAVE to do any housework. But home for a full week, that feeling starts to fade and the house looks a mess with all of us here. There was a small fight (and a large tantrum) about butter (we don't have much, and someone wanted to use it up to make Oreo truffles). Shawn is shopping at Costco with a coworker today and is instructed to look for it. I'm looking forward to stuffing envelopes today, finishing a movie, and sitting outside with my laptop for a while. My back still hurts, but I am trying to workout (already at 165 minutes for this week, if I include the hike, which I do even though it was slow). My wrists also hurt - the laptop keyboard isn't as ergonomically correct as the regular erg keyboard at the office. Boo for that. Oh, also, cat allergies are a little more apparent when you're at home with the cats all day. One reason I'll be outside more today.

It sounds like a lot of complaints, but we're healthy, we're fine, we now have MEATS because I braved WalMart yesterday. I feel much better, grocery-wise. And I had good phone chats with Mom and Dad yesterday.

So, happy weekend. I am eager to take a break from actual work-work, clean some surfaces, play some Uno, enjoy some wine, and just chill.

It's Day 3

The news continues: more cases reported in Georgia, every state now reporting at least one. Several states have closed restaurants/bars and entertainment venues. Ours hasn't; in fact, Shan told me she and her husband had decided to order food every day from a different local restaurant to try to help them out. Good idea, maybe, but I'd go broke and also gain 30 poounds if we did that.

I'm trying to eat the fresh things first, so leftovers and salads before making anything from the pantry. Because we are not having much luck buying groceries. We'd gone shopping last Friday, but there was no meat in the meat department. Still isn't. I picked up from Kroger yesterday and they didn't have any of the meat I'd ordered, not even canned chicken. WalMart said they had the product, but didn't have a pickup time available. I'm going to have to go there in person, I guess. Which is fine, but we just want to do the right thing and stay home as much as possible.

This morning I'm standing up at the kitchen counter for the first hour of work. The kids aren't up yet (they should be). My back is killing me from sitting in my unsupportive dining room chairs yesterday.

What we ate:
Breakfast - everyone was on his or her own yesterday, although I did bake banana bread late Monday.
Lunch - I made a plate of leftovers. Kate made herself mac and cheese, which is when I explained to her about eating fresh/leftovers first. She went, "Ohhhhhhhh." I think she got it.
Dinner - I thought I was going to make chicken enchiladas with some pre-cooked chicken I had in the fridge. But the chicken smelled bad, so it was black bean enchiladas instead. Pantry item, check. The enchilada sauce was too hot for Kate; Alex managed it. We also had some avocados that would have gone bad, so I made a really good guacamole... but we are out of Tostitos. Then, a stroke of brilliance! I made baked chips from some corn tortillas we had. They weren't great, but they scooped the guac adequately.

What we did:
School work for the kids. There was a 6th-grade math meltdown. Perfectly timed, too, while I was on a Skype call (my only one of the day yesterday, naturally). It got worked out, but there was also a Come To Jesus about me not being a teacher, but I will try to help you as best I can, and this is going to be strange and difficult for all of us, and your attitude needs to improve if we want to get through it. Sigh. I hated to have that talk, but it needed to be done. Someone does not take "help" very well. It was only the first (2nd) day! Gah.

Otherwise, I don't think we were particularly great about taking breaks and keeping a routine. I mean, I did... but I am trying to let the kids schedule themselves, and I don't think they did it right. Ha. Kate, I know, tried to do more than just one day's work - she wants to finish it early and then have free time. They both might have taken breaks yesterday, but they weren't mental health breaks, they were device breaks. So, an hour of work, and then a half hour of Tik Tok or reddit. Hrm. We might have to discuss that again. We did manage a trampoline session, and laughed a lot by trying not to laugh. ;) Best part of the day and the weather was perfect! Our neighbor's daughter came outside and she and Kate played for a few minutes. I was hesitant about letting her into the house (are we supposed to do that? not really, I don't think). I felt crazy to hesitate, but I did.

How we felt:
See above. We're trying to settle into all this, but there were a couple of hiccups and we're not quite there yet. I think Shawn feels nearly panicked about groceries. I don't feel like working; would much rather do long yoga videos and read my book ("World Without End," a gigantic novel by Ken Follett, perfect for a quarantine.)

Pandemic Diary 2020: Day 2

A lot changed between last Friday and yesterday; namely, my boss who was not that serious about all this COVID-19 stuff, got serious. So now we ARE on a 2-week Work From Home directive.

My first thought is, of course, Hallelujah! What I've often longed for, an expanded WFH schedule! And it will make it easier for me to keep tabs on the kids as they try to do school from home. But the reason for it feel quites a bit less like happy news. Ah, well, so be it. We try to be grateful in spite of circumstances, right?

We had a good day yesterday. I was quite productive, I thought, and it made it interesting to have the extra task of writing our COVID letter and then posting it and sending it in all the relevant online channels. I felt needed, and useful, and like I was Doing Something For the Good of Everyone Involved. That was nice. Got lots of compliments on the letter, too.

I thought it'd be easiest, going forward, to do a daily recap of these days, kind-of like so:

What we ate:
Breakfast - Kate made us Oreo waffles in her latest impulse-buy, a mini-waffle maker. She got it with birthday money. Actually they were very yummy and I appreciated having plenty that we could package up for the freezer in These Food-Strange Times.
Lunch - We had to go up to St. Joe's to get some of Kate's books; they had opened for that purpose from 1-3pm. So on the way home, we stopped at Subway. I felt like we were going to get in trouble for going into a restaurant, and tried to propose fast food with a drive-through window, but we'd had enough of that on our road trip, so Subway (vegetables!) it was. I had a stern talk with Kate, though, that all these days coming up were not "days off" and we couldn't have lunch out every day (or ever, maybe, depending on what our state decides as far as restaurants/bars closing, like some states have done).
Dinner - Spaghetti and meatballs, of course. Pantry food if ever there was. I presume lots of people also ate spaghetti on Day One.

What we did:
Just drove to get the books/lunch. Alex came with us, to get out of the house for a minute. Kate, after her breakfast making, started a tie dye project (gah with the messy projects!). She did a t-shirt and shoelaces, outside in the backyard thank goodness, while I was on my first conference call of the day. Later she painted her nails -- a big deal because normally she isn't allowed (Catholic school uniform rules). Alex worked on homework. For band, he's having to record himself practicing his clarinet. Every Day. We didn't do any board games or other group activities. Not sure we will. It's a little different with bigger kids, you know? I've told them (a thousand times, by Kate's estimation) that they're going to need to develop some kind of routine, to get through this. We'll see if they do. *I* need to develop a routine, too, or I'll sit at the kitchen table at my computer muuuuch longer than necessary/healthy. We also went outside and played a little basketball, until we broke our ball pump. It was kinda chilly out.

How we felt:
I actually felt like it was a great day. I was glad to have interesting work, the kids stayed occupied, it's all novel and new at the moment. My only complaint was Ash the cat walking over my laptop several times. He deleted a big section of something I was working on, at one point! Naughty! (I got it back.) Kate and I even did a Pahla B workout in the evening -- important for mental health. I like/recommend P. B., but not her "walking for weight loss" or her "31 days" videos. Those are boring. The ones with weights, or "cardio + abs" or "cardio + strength" are great.

Hope your days are going well so far. Today should be interesting as Kate starts having actual work to do.

Pandemic Diary 2020: Day 1-ish

I feel like this coronavirus shutdown of the U.S. is a prime opportunity for blogging! Blogs are all we'll have! When we're so sick of reading news and analysis and non-official social media posts making us think they ARE official, we'll need our bloggers to lighten the mood a bit, right? We'll need each other's voices, to feel like a community. We'll need to commisserate about being at home with our kids! Just like the original mommy-blog days! Also, it's the right thing to do to preserve these strange days for historians of the future.

I have about 15 minutes this morning -- well, I have more than that, I'm working from home -- to jot down a few thoughts, and then I have to get to work writing my company's COVID-19 letter to customers. This is how it is when you're a Marketing Communications Specialist in the year 2020!

So. Last week on Thursday, March 12, 2020, Cobb County, GA made the decision to close schools starting today, for an indefinite length of days. Kate's Catholic school (St Joseph Catholic School -- I feel like I need named details for history, even though this is an anonymous blog and private, but you know?) followed suit on Friday, although they already had Friday and today as holidays, so they won't "start" until tomorrow. Both systems declared there will be online distance learning and that these will not be "days off." We're lucky that our school is in an area where it's not a problem for most families (they have internet, and computers, generally), but the county said they would deliver equipment and materials to students who do not have access to them at home -- interesting).

I had already planned to work from home today but now I'm hopeful I will be working home all week -- we'll see, though. My boss hasn't said that, specifically. He has said he wants us to "feel comfortable," and if we don't feel comfortable coming to the office, that's okay, but I feel like that's a non-answer. I wish he would say, "If you have the means to work from home (a laptop), then please do that." It seems to be what most companies are telling employees. Shawn's already left for work. He doesn't really have a job that can be done at home much, or so we've thought all these years. Maybe they'll change their tune after this (but I doubt it).

Last Friday, we drove 4 hours to go visit my MIL in Savannah. The plans were on the books already, and she lives alone and we hadn't seen her in ages. And it was her birthday. I wasn't sure we should, but I also didn't feel like there was any serious danger. We wouldn't be in any crowds, just seeing family -- her, and also my BIL and SIL and their 3 girls. And that's who we did see. We went out to lunch on Saturday. Should we have? Don't know for sure, but there were plenty of other people out and about - of course it was St Patrick's Day weekend in Savannah, so some were tourists and others were locals who are used to this being a celebratory weekend. We did sit outdoors, on purpose, so as not to be too closed in with others.  (At least in my mind, that's why we sat outdoors.) It was a beautiful, sunny day and around 74 degrees, so that was pleasant.

Some of my questions about all this include:

• Will the kids at St Joe's finish their standaradized testing, which was supposed to be going on this week? 
• Will the schools try to add on a few days at the end of the year?
• Will the social distancing be over by then, or will our summer camp also close? 
• Will the online learning be successful, or will the kids finish all the work quickly and then do nothing most of these days off? 
• Will Alex get to take his AP exam on time, and will he do as well as he'd have done without the weird interruption in class-time? 
• Will Kate do better at home if I'm here, helping her stay on task, or if I go to my office? Sometimes she gets things done on days when I'm NOT here (no one to whine to)...
• Will we have enough food, actually? We did some shopping and stocking up, but need a few additional things (meat -- the store was completely out of meat last Friday when Shawn went).
• After 14 days, will we all be expected to go back to normal? Will this "work?" Will it actually be safe then, or will we have more cases pop up? 
• Do I have enough hand soap?
• Do I have enough coffee?

I need to get to work, but more to follow.

In Concert: A little update on our eldest

Last night, I was struck very emotionally about how dad-gum GROWN Alex looked on-stage:

Seriously, click to make larger and see just how handsome he is. ;) The new haircut helps, some, too, but this is a kid! A mere child! Okay, he's 15 and a half, but how and when exactly did that happen?! I just couldn't quite believe it. There was a sense of "this is what he will look like as an adult" and I did not enter that theater expecting such a vision.

I was so glad to go listen to him play, and gosh, I'm thankful for this school. Public school is AMAZING in our district/county. This music program blows me away -- the concert last night was thisclose to being as good as any symphony orchestra I've heard. The music was so difficult! It's just all kinds of impressive.

And it chokes a mom up, especially when she's sitting safely (intentionally) by herself and allows the little tears to well right up because no one is watching.

One other thing I want to remember: He was excited about the third piece on the program because he said, "It's just fun to play." And ahhhhhhh, that got me in the heart! To know the Joy of music is something I dearly, dearly wished for my kids. Afterwards he told me "I'll miss playing that one." Just.. sighhhhh. So happy. He actually practices these days. He wants to learn more, get better -- has even asked to start clarinet lessons, despite being worried about the cost (good-hearted). YES, that is happening. Spare no expense! Bring it on.

As a update from the last post, his braces are half on (bottom half comes next), and so far we cannot even tell he has them. He has a kind-of narrow-lipped smile, anyway, but I seriously forget because I NEVER SEE them (they're clear). Whew. Hopefully he isn't bothered by them and they will do their work and allow an impacted tooth to fall where it's supposed to, thus negating the need for mouth surgery. Eek. Please please please.

And in other facial news, he has his own razor now and has used it. What the what?! Yeah.

Two more driving sessions with the instructor to go; he still has to wait until at least August before getting his license, but he's getting better every time I ride with him. It still scares the heck out of me, but not quite as much as it did at first.

He's writing a paper on "Things Fall Apart" today, for his AP history/literature class. That first AP exam is coming up in a few weeks. I think he's somewhat interested in what's happening in politics this year. And he chose his electives for his JUNIOR YEAR.

Hard to believe. The days are long but the years are indeed so very, painfully short.

What's Up? I Don't Feel Like Working...

...even though I only have to work until noon today. I am having an afternoon off, yay, while Alex has a doctor's appointment (see below).

Our menu this week:

Sunday - Easy frozen chicken patty sandwiches, with fries and broccoli salad for me.

Monday - Totally stolen from S., we had Foil Pack Cajun Chicken and Veggies. (Thanks for the idea!) Except I used Baby Bella mushrooms instead of zucchini. Served with rice. This was mostly a hit, although the mushrooms were scooted to the sides of the kids' plates and left there, and Kate still finds anything with chili powder "spicy." It is NOT spicy, I swear. I was glad it was somewhat healthy and I LOVE mushrooms (and ate their extras, ha).

Tuesday - Crock pot Loaded Potato Soup, in honor of Alex who is getting braces on his teeth (again) today, and needs soft foods for a day or 2. Poor buddy. He'll likely be 17 by the time they come off, and we hate that for him, but he'll thank us later. I tell him he'll have beautiful teeth for the rest of his life.

Note: Jell-o for dessert, or King Cake for Mardi Gras, because it's my last day of dessert -- I'm giving it up for Lent. YES. Goodbye, dessert. It's a discipline, not a diet (she insists). ;)

Wednesday - Breaded tilapia (ha ha, frozen fish sticks) tacos for the grown-ups, served plain for the kids with mac and cheese and green beans (or applesauce if Alex prefers). Ash Wednesday meatless favorite! Get ready for more meatless meals on Fridays until Easter, woo. (If we remember.)

Thursday - Chili over rice. Alex's fave, and soft.

Friday - I'll be driving Kate across town for a 2-night church retreat with a friend of hers, so the boys will have to fend for themselves. Or perhaps I'll pick something up on the way home, who knows.

We'll receive our box of 2 HF meals on Friday, as well, which we'll probably have Sunday/Monday next week. I've chosen Crispy Mozzarella Crusted Chicken and Bacon and Cream Supreme Spaghetti. Sounds good to me!

Now that I think about it, I have very little time to get through a lot of work tasks this morning, so I'd better run! Gah. Work.

Before and After: Foyer and Upstairs Hallway

Nothing like having guests to make you clean-slash-decorate your house real quick. The very night that I wrote here about being anxious to hang stuff up, I went home and hung stuff up, because Kate's birthday sleepover was imminent. Not that the 12-year-old girls cared, but I did. And now I have photos to show you!

Before, foyer:

After, foyer (no new decor, just a much nicer color):

Before, upstairs hallway gallery wall. I never hated this wall, but I wasn't pleased with how unmatched and chaotic everything was.

After, upstairs gallery wall. Much calmer, matching frames (new floral art from Kirkland's on sale for $15!), lovely warm color.

 

I have since added 5x7s to that one frame that was empty: sweet baby pictures of both kids, that hadn't seen the light of day or been displayed, ever. 

Note our stupidly positioned light switches/outlets. The whole house is like this, with switchplates (even thermostats) in the middles of walls. We cannot understand why the builder did this. Note also the wreath: Ash the cat was verrrrry interested in it at first. From downstairs, we heard a loud, scratchy attempt to jump up and attack it. Only happened once, though, and thank goodness he didn't scratch up the newly painted walls, or he'd have been In Trouble (what does that mean, exactly, with a cat? Nothing). Finally, here's an example of, why we can't have a house that looks like Southern Living magazine: Nestled in the bottom of the wreath now is a Yoda figurine. Pretty sure that was Shawn's doing. It's fine, no one's going to see it but us, and it made me laugh. But still. I try and I try.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

We're in the middle of the week already, yay! Kate and I had Monday off, and I needed it, to continue recovering from her birthday party. Not to be dramatic, but it nearly killed me. Walking up and down the mall while the girls did their scavenger hunt was not what I had envisioned. I'd envisioned bringing a book and letting them go by themselves, and check-in with me every so often. But the little girl in Kate is not yet ready for full independence, so she asked me to walk.... behind them. Ha! Wants me enough to keep her safe, but not to actually BE with her! Anyway, I needed that extra day. 

Alex is in driver's ed this week, poor kid. He has the whole week off school, but is, in fact, going to school Mon - Thurs. It's a county program and has to be done, but I feel for him. 

Both kids were starting to have sniffly noses and sore throats on Monday-Tuesday, but I think we have sufficiently headed off anything worse (knock on wood knock on wood). 

And we're eating easy, but yummy meals - nothing I need a recipe for (skipped Hello Fresh this week):

Sunday - Angel Hair pasta w/meatballs, salad, and garlic bread

Monday - Burrito bowls with chicken, black beans, salsa, corn, etc. 

Tuesday - Ham, steamed broccoli, pasta salad and crescent rolls

Wednesday - I'm going to pick up a rotisserie or fried chicken, and make mashed potatoes and corn

Thursday - I think this is going to be a Leftovers on Parade kind of night.

Friday - Tetrazini (from the freezer), green beans and rolls

Twitter, weekend, and decor

I have been spending a lot of time on Twitter. I used to pooh-pooh it, having plenty enough social media and long-ago schoolmates to deal with, thank you very much, on ye old Facebook. But I don't know, over the last couple of years Twitter has become more interesting to me. And much more tiring. Of course I know it's where most of the angry bots live, and of course I recognize that the feed is curated mostly by Twitter's weird algorithm so that I don't see what I signed up to see, but instead the various Likes of other Twitterers that I may or may not even know I'm following.

It's awful, is what I'm saying.

But why am I drawn to awful? Why do I keep going back for more? Sure, there is some funny stuff mixed in, and some heartwarming stuff -- do visit @emrgencykittens, @alyssalimp, @facespics and @mecookiemonster for some completely banal entertainment. I don't follow any particularly volatile accounts, just people or entities that I like, such as TV shows and 2006-era mommy bloggers. And a little news (NPR, Dan Rather, my local NBC affiliate) to stay informed. Still, it eats away at my brain and makes me feel bad when I click away, and then an hour later, open it up again. WHY, dopamine? So stupid.

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Guess what? We did NOT have a so-busy-I-have-to-blog-it week, or weekend! No juggling whatsoever, except Shawn taking a half-day Friday to hang out with Kate who had a half-day. It was just regular: work, school, and that's it. No band events! No drama club! Shan was away Thursday and Friday, making my work time even more gentle. This weekend I got my hair cut and colored, long overdue -- while it snowed!! -- took Kate to watch the 8th grade girls' basketball game at CTK (I thought we were through driving for bball this season, but nope - actually it was fun), and we had dinner at Chili's, the ultimate in lazy weekend ideas. I was supposed to go to a friend's for girls' wine night, but it got postponed. I was glad.

Friday night, the kids both played piano in the annual Federation (of Music Clubs') solo and hymns competition, and scored all Superiors! YAY! More and more, I'm glad of these types of things that Alex will be able to add to his college applications. (Eeeeek. He hasn't yet begun talking to us about it. I only hope he's started THINKING about it, but I have no idea.) But also because working hard at something, feeling nervous, and then having to be brave and perform in front of a judge is just good life experience.

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Yesterday I got twitchy about my newly painted, but as-yet-unfinished walls. The new grays are beautiful, but I'd like to hang pictures back up at some point. However, it's too hard to make decisions about which pictures and where. We have SO many frames, but many of them aren't that pretty. And yet, I don't want them to "go to waste." We have tons of wall space, particularly in the hallway upstairs. But every time I start thinking about it, I get overwhelmed for some reason. I want it to look planned and lovely, not random and "college-apartment." It doesn't help that many of my friends here in the suburbs have professionally decorated homes. Bleh. Kate helped me, though, and we went to Kirkland's to buy a new "focal point" picture (they were having a great sale). I think we have at least one of the walls figured out, now we just need to do the hanging.

The wall going up the stairs is the hardest, to me. I can't figure out how high to hang things there. I know I need 3 new frames that match, for that space. The question is what to showcase there. Family photos? Or pretty prints/paintings? WHY is it so hard to commit to a nail in the wall?! SO. HARD.

January wins

The first win, I guess, is that I'm working at my kitchen table this afternoon ("working"), and this is the 2nd time this month I have done so.

The second win is that January is finally OVER, and I say that with love, but man, did this month pile on the Busy. It felt like it would never end, with the weekends going thusly:

• New Year's weekend, which we spent in Pcola and was lovely
• New bed delivery (Th), and middle school semi-formal for Kate (Fr), and basketball (Sa)
• Painters in the house (Th and Fr), and then JTF (Sa-Su, skipped basketball); thankful for MLK Day off (roofers)
• Aladdin, Jr. weekend and Mom and Dad's visit to see the play (loved having you!), plus basketball
• This current weekend will be basketball - hopefully the last game on Saturday but only if Kate's team loses (it's bad to want them to lose, right?)

Weekdays were rehearsals for all of that, of course. So, yeah. Stick a fork in me, I'm done. (Thank goodness the marching band is off in January!) All of those things were still wins, though. 

The NEW BED! We gave in to the Sleep Number pressure and I think we both like it! I won't say "love," because we're not hopping out of bed in the mornings with zero pain, but it seems to be significantly less pain. I love how, when I first lie down to go to bed at night, the bed pauses and then slightly adjusts to me. It's like a gentle hug: "Welcome to bedtime!" I wonder, will my Sleep Number need to go UP in the years to come, as the bed starts to wear (up is more firm, down is softer)? Probably. Still, it's a significant improvement over a bed whose springs were legitimately poking us in the back/sides while we slept. 

The Paint! Of all the rooms in our house, the entryway was going to be hardest to paint, because it's open to the 2nd story. So we hired it out. I went with Ellie Gray in the entry and Silverplate in the hall (both Sherwin Williams) and they look good together; actually there's barely any difference between them, but that's okay.  

Hello, Fresh. ?  I think this is a win. I'm certainly glad we've tried it. It isn't blowing me away, but it's good food and proper portions and it helps me not serve the same-old same-olds all the time. And helps me have an answer when Kate asks "What's for dinner tonight?"

One more tiny win: At work, I was given the [hokiest, dorkiest] "Kinda a Big Deal" Award for the month. It's supposed to come with a gift card which I haven't received yet, but still, it's nice to be recognized and the person who nominated me (I found out later) was not who I would have expected. I want to do my best at work, but I am having a hard time settling on what that looks like. I also got an adjustable desk so I can stand up twice a day for an hour or so! I love it -- something I've wanted for a long time, work-wise. I think I also got out of having to travel to an event in April, woo!

I'm reading "Where'd You Go, Bernadette." It's funny, but I really dislike every character -- they're terrible people, all of them! Still, a quick read that has felt light in an otherwise stressy month, is a WIN.

Happy Friday!

Look at Me

"I'm the king of New York...!"

I'm on a Newsies kick at the moment. Last February, I was reminded about how I love musicals, and this past weekend, I was given another boost to my system.

Sorry, no video, this is just a screen grab - but it wasn't that interesting, anyway.

Kate's drama teacher has always taken the kids to the Junior Theater Festival, and this year I was asked to chaperone. I DREADED it. I knew it would be a long 2 days, at a conference center, trying to corral 39 pre-teens who were full of adrenaline and Broadway Jr. enthusiasm, and it WAS long.

However.

It reminded me of when I was that age (and a bit older), when all I ever listened to was musical theater soundtracks over and over, and although I knew I wouldn't ever make it to Broad WAY (as one of the speakers this weekend kept saying), I loved being part of the chorus in the small-town shows I did. I loved being backstage. I loved Friday night rehearsals. I made my first best friends in those shows, and we had inside jokes and we weren't afraid to express ourselves, and that was HUGE for me, who was pretty shy as a very young girl. We were loud and full of laughter and didn't care what anyone thought. AND we knew how to sing and dance, and deliver a line (well, the ones who had lines did). ;)

The weekend was exhausting, as I predicted, but my girl was happy. Her troupe didn't win any awards, and gosh, were there some excellent performances from other groups. Ours, very amateur (but so sweet). Still, Kate said several times how much fun she was having. I don't know if she's been bitten by the Theater Bug (harrrr, a cliche I very much dislike), but I'm so happy she's trying it out, and I was so happy to be there to experience the fun alongside her. (And pay for her merch, of course.)

Anyway, I got on here to say that I'm now working hard to fill in the gaps in my knowledge -- this week it has been Newsies (LOVE) and Wicked (meh) in my Apple music library. On deck: Book of Mormon, Waitress, Rent, Matilda, Dear Evan Hansen, Children of Eden, and probably Tuck Everlasting (because I can see our school doing that one if it ever appears as a Junior edition).

This weekend I'll be backstage chaperoning again during Kate's 2 performances of Aladdin, Jr., singing along and clapping wildly for the next generation of musical theater kids.

Post something, already!

I have started posts at least twice, then abandoned them. I had an inkling to do the whole big 2019 Review post, but I guess I decided against, since I never did it. I did do a final review in my planner, in which I said these things:

• I enjoyed having a paper calendar/planner again
• I loved Golden Coil, but over-estimated how many pages I would need, esp. re: goal-setting.
• Goal-setting still makes me feel more shame/guilt than control/productivity
• I'm proud I was gentle with myself about the goals, but don't feel like I want to continue with them, at least not on paper so much
• Gratitude journaling remained constant, all year long
• I chose a Rifle Paper Company planner for 2020 and think it will serve the purpose just fine, for about half the cost

Best things about 2019:

• 10 years at my company (!!), which means more days OFF going forward
• Some workout success, both in January (30 days of yoga w/Adrienne) and July - Nov (150 minutes/week, 17 consecutive weeks)
• Marching Band Mom-hood! Discovered which volunteering I like and don't, made new friends, took a trip
• Quitting gymnastics (Kate) and choir (me)
• Experience gifts for the kids (a gaming "homestand" for Alex and Shawn Mendes concert for Kate)
• Gardening more thoughtfully
• Jilly's (my sis) happiness, engagement, and the family meeting her fiance last week in P'cola (New Year's Day and weekend)

In general I think I was more calm in 2019, refusing to let being busy stress me out so much. Relative to that, I didn't even want to consider the "worst things" of 2019. Didn't bother. No need to think negative thoughts. 

So, here we are in 2020! Twenty-twenty! Can you believe it?? We have a lot going on already. 

• Doctors, ahoy. Starting last month, I visited the eye doctor, my primary care doc, and this morning, the dentist. Kate went to a dermatologist and has a follow-up in 2 weeks. The kids both have dentist appointments as well, in January, and I get to have 2 cavities filled. Ugh. But thankful for insurance.
• We bought a Sleep Number bed and it will be delivered in 3 days. Shawn and I and our aching backs are very excited about this development.
• The painting crew is coming later this month to fix the hole in the kitchen ceiling and also paint the entry/walls of the stairs/upstairs hallway. Eeeee! Been wanting to paint those scuffed up walls since we moved in almost 5 years ago! Choosing a grey soon. Any suggestions are welcome.
• We also hope this will spur us to paint other rooms in the house, not to mention redecorating the guest room, but I'm not expecting it to happen right away.
• Kate's middle school semi formal dance this Friday, for which we are still looking for a dress and shoes, eek. Going at lunch today with fingers crossed.
• Kate's first drama club performance on the 24th-25th! So far she isn't in love with the preparation process, which includes rehearsal nearly every day for the next 3 weeks, but I hope the performance weekend will be fun for her. 

Posting our weekly menu is still so fun, somehow. It taught me last year that I am prone to taking the easy way out (hot dogs and fries, tra-la!) but also that the kids' palettes are slowly growing and more able to try new things. I have another Hello Fresh box arriving tomorrow, with Parm Crusted Chicken and Lemon-Tomato Spaghetti one night, and Cajun Blackened Tilapia with Red Beans and Lemon Rice the other. Yummy! Just noticed the 2 lemon sides, oops. However, those are probably not getting made until the weekend because my darling husband made the menu and did the grocery shopping this week while I was out of town, thank you, Shawn! and it's all of his family faves:

• Sunday: Spaghetti with meat sauce and garlic toast
• Monday: Cheesy baked chicken breasts, steamed broccoli, salad
• Tuesday: Chili
• Wednesday: Hot Dogs and Fries!
• Thursday: Pork chops (breaded) (okay, Shake n Bake), rice and field peas

Finally, I will tell you my plan for detoxing from the holidays, or should I call it All-Cookies All-The-Time. It is thus:

• WATER, lots
• 150 minutes/week (also good for carpal tunnel management)
• no second helpings
• no candy
• no sugar
• no dairy
• no extra bread (meaning, if pasta is on the menu I can eat some pasta, but no roll. And choosing salads for lunches instead of sandwiches, etc.)

Those last 4 are just for a week or two, hopefully to remove the feeling of bloatedness that has become permanent lately. Ugh. I was thwarted this morning: my coffee from home tasted terrible, so I went to the Dunkin drive-thru and ordered plain black coffee with vanilla flavoring (I know there's sugar in it). They handed me a full-cream, real sugar hazelnut latte. Oh well, I'm taking it as a loving gesture from God. :)

Even More Merry!

I just up and took Monday off! I had plenty of PTO days left, and Shan was suprirsed I was planning to be here Monday the 23rd, and she said, as she handed me a Peppermint Mocha she bought for me, "it isn't too late to request it..." So I did! And she approved. Yay! (Isn't she the best boss? I am very lucky.)

Now I get a whole week for Christmas and today is IT, and the last half of today I'm going to work from home anyway, because Alex, my dear 15yo Alex who spends so many of his half-days and days off at our house, without transportation or anyplace to go, just him and the cats.... was invited to "hang out with" 3 boys from his Spanish 2 class. The kid never asks for anything, and so even though we don't know the other kids, we are trusting him and trusting that their parents will be home (fingers crossed) and shifting our plans so he can go socialize for a while. (I'll stay home with Kate instead of him staying with her, as was planned.)

All this to say, I'm so happy we've finally made it to the end of this week. NOTHING is going on at my office anyway, or inside my laptop. No emails. Our German headquarters is already closed for the next 2 weeks, and our sales force, whom I support, has checked out. (I mean, Salespeople, they're on their own schedules all year round, right?)

Next Monday, Kate has scheduled a little lunch-date with her current group of girl friends, and I also have a lunch-date scheduled with my girl friend, and so it's starting to feel pretty festive slash laid-back around here.

We successfully prepared and ate our 2 meals from Hello, Fresh. The Bulgogi Pork with jasmine rice and roasted carrots was DELICIOUS. The Pineapple Chicken Quesadillas were, too, but less impressive since we eat quesadillas and pico often enough. But there's something I can't put my finger on about the HF meals... something about how "fussy" they seem to prepare. Maybe it's all the garnishing? (White sesame seeds AND lime zest AND finely chopped green onion? I would never do all that for my own recpies, although I guess the plates looked nice...) Or is it the packaging? When I cook with regular grocery-store bottles and boxes, things get put away back into the pantry -- but with HF, every time you use an ingredient, you have to throw something away. OR in my case, set it aside to be rinsed/recycled later, making the countertops seem messy and the whole affair unfinished... maybe it's that. I can't decide. Maybe I just felt rushed because they were planned for school nights. I liked the meals, though, and it's a good way to get out of a meal-making rut. I have skipped the next couple of weeks, but will plan to order at least one more time after the holidays. It is a pretty good deal, cost-wise. Thanks, Suz!! Anyone want a free box? I have invites.

I messed up a pot of ham and white beans the other night. HOW in the world I messed them up, I have no idea. I forgot to soak them overnight, but I know a trick for that: bring them to a boil, cover and let sit for an hour. Presto! Mom has done that for years. I've done it before. So that's what I did, then put them in the crockpot for 6.5 hours on low, as my recipe suggested. But they came out HARD! Not at all soft, even though ONE thing I messed up was I think I doubled the amount of water. Still, it doesn't seem like that would make a difference. Seems like it would even help! But no, the entire pot had to be thrown out, after we'd tasted and tried to eat them. At least beans are cheap. I bought them at Target, maybe they were defective? Who knows. Alex has been teasing me about "not even being able to cook BEANS." As if HE knows how. ;)

The Sped-Up Advent and Slowed-Down Christmas of 2019

Hasn't the month of December been a blur? With Thanksgiving so late it has felt like we arrived abruptly AT Christmas, and even though it's still 7 days away, time has already run out in my mind.

Our shopping is mostly done, thank baby Jesus, but very little of the wrapping. No Christmas cards have been addressed or sent. Nor have I attempted any meal-planning for the days of Christmas itself, because for the very first time, we have ZERO obligations and no family coming to visit. It's just US FOUR. I'm happy about that. I know I will probably feel a little bereft on Christmas Day, when Mom and Dad are alone in their house and we're in ours, 6 hours away, and Shawn's mom, too, by herself. But on the other hand, I have this cozy, slowed-down picture in my head of just a relaxing day, our little foursome and our kitties. I want to do my usual Christmas crepes for breakfast, and then I suppose we'll think of something a little more special than a weekday dinner, for afternoon Christmas dinner... but I also hope there's time for reading, movies, naps, games, hot chocolate, and maybe even PJs all day.

I DO NOT HAVE TO SING at any Mass this year! That's a first. Or, a first in a loooooooong time. It's my very best gift to myself, I'm so happy about it. Of course, it means we'll have to really work to get ourselves to a Mass at all... the 7:30 am is probably the wisest choice as far as crowds are concerned, but I can guarantee my crew won't want to do that. So 6:00 pm Christmas Eve is more likely. (Less wise.) Doesn't matter, I don't have to be there from 10 pm until 1 am and that is an amazing freedom.

Kate told me tearfully a couple of weeks ago that she knows, about Santa and the Elf and all. :( It was hard for her to admit. She was wandering around the house kind-of unable to sit still, looking at the Elf on the Shelf and acting like she wanted to say something, but not saying anything, while I was writing a grocery list. Finally, I asked her, "Kate, you seem like you have something on your mind, what is it?" And she said down next to me at the kitchen table, and said, "I don't want to say because I don't want to be sad..." and then I could guess what was coming. "I know," she said. I tried to comfort her and say that we'll still DO all the things -- I did get the feeling she was worried we'd say, "Oh welp, that's the end of that! Thank goodness, the jig is up!" -- and told her the "magic" of Christmas is that you're infinitely loved, and that families give gifts to each other to show that love and and and... and I think she understood, but still. big breath. It was a moment. The real end of an era. (I think she had her suspicions last year, truly, but wasn't ready to admit it.) And it's time, I mean, she's nearly 12.

Somehow, it wasn't enough to quell our parental desire to make Christmas special and... bigger than it needs to be. I mean, it isn't going to be "BIG" by some people's standards, but we still had to list out and chart all the gifts to make sure both kids' piles will be "even," and honestly I'd really like to be one of those families that does "Something you Want, Something you Need, Something to Wear, Something to Read," and that's it. Cut down on the consumerism of it all. Not quite there yet, but maybe one day. Jill's new family is apparently better at that; maybe they'll be a good influence.

We get our first Hello, Fresh box today! I'm excited! Tonight's dinner will be Pineapple Grilled Chicken quesadillas, and tomorrow's is Pork Tenderloin Bulgogi. Yay for trying new things! Thanks to Suzanne for the referral!

I have to work the rest of this week and Monday the 23rd, but it's already winding down significantly. I suspect I'll be doing some desk cleaning in the next few days, and not a lot of work-work. I'll take it! Merry Christmas!

Things I Don't Want to Forget, Fall 2019

• At one of the last marching rehearsals of the season, before Grand Nats, when it was inexplicably something like 36 degrees out and a night practice, Alex noticed his freshman clarinet buddy, Cooper, was wearing shorts, shivering with blue lips. Alex had prepared, thankfully (and somewhat surprisingly), by wearing two pairs of pants, one fleecy sweatpant and a lighter athletic pant underneath that. He gave Cooper the sweatpants. No fuss, just took them off and handed them over. No one noticed this, as far as we know, but Shawn happened to be watching practice that night and caught it. Our hearts grew three sizes.
• When I was sick over Thanksgiving (so sick! headache and cold for about 4 days straight, and I was stuffy enough that I couldn't taste any of the food I was making), my family was so kind to me. On Wednesday they let me nap for about 2 hours in the afternoon, and no one complained that we made it a pretty low-key Thanksgiving Day. They helped me cook. They probably did the hard parts for me. I took breaks. We used our regular, dishwasher-safe dishes, not the bone china I like to use on holidays - I just couldn't. I didn't even make any dessert until the afternoon of Thursday, which is when I finally started to improve, and even then only 1 dessert when I had been planning 3. I made the other one, the pumpkin bars, probably 2 days later. It was nice to be allowed to kind-of phone it in. Family is the best.
• Last week, high schoolers received their spring class schedules. Alex was called to the Guidance office to discuss the fact that they had moved him into 2nd period Band, which is the most advanced "Wind Ensemble" class. (He's been in the intermediate-level this semester, having moved up after his freshman year.) He went to the directors to check this. "Hey," he said, "I just want to make sure that this isn't a scheduling error." (Surely you don't move up after one semester, as a sophomore, into the highest level, right?) The head director responded, "Nope, that's not an error. Congratulations," in his very understated way. Heart bursting with pride (again)!
• My Kate has such a generous heart. While it sometimes drives me crazy, because she has all these "ideas" -- we joke that our most feared words from her are, "Mommy, I have an idea..." -- requiring us to go to Michaels to shop every weekend, mostly with my money instead of her allowance, it is so sweet, really. For her 4 best friends, she's decorated Mason jars with color-coordinated candies (Lindt chocolates), PuraVida bracelets, and lip balms, nestled into tissue paper or shredded paper/filler. And, not wanting to leave anyone out, she told me last night she'd also like to bake some cookies for 2 other friends, and put them in clear cellophane bags with pretty ribbon. Makes me happy to see her happy. 
• She also told me again recently, and I don't want to forget, that she desperately wants to be an interior designer someday. Have I mentioned this before? I think it would be perfect for her: spending someone else's money to do creative things. (And eventually, being her own boss.) It fits every aspect of her little (big) personality so well. 

Turkey Week

Hard to believe we have arrived at the end of the year and the holiday season! With Thanksgiving so late this year, everything feels like we're already late/behind, though. Not good! I am trying to envision a looonng December stretching out in front of me, to make me feel like there's still enough time.

Mom and Dad are driving to Atlanta as I type this from my desk at work. Festivities are about to begin! The kiddos are at home, sleeping in and, if Kate follows through with her plans, she's drinking coffee-milk (cafe au lait) and making a fried egg on toast. (This is her favorite breakfast lately.) She'll do her laundry this morning, and hopefully clean her bathroom -- Alex cleaned his yesterday. Such good, helpful children! Who are they? ;) wink wink. We were surprised that we didn't get any flak from Kate about being home "alone" today. Perhaps there is light at the end of that particular tunnel!

I put a chicken soup into the crock pot this morning. Creamy Italian Chicken Noodle Soup, to be specific. I've never made it before so I'm taking a risk, but it sounds delicious to me. Here's hoping! Will serve it with cheese and crackers, and French rolls. Because we have to eat something tonight, and tomorrow (Honey Baked Ham, salad, and homemade mac and cheese casserole), AND Wednesday (I'm hoping we'll go out)! Even though we are making a giant meal on Thursday! What's with that?!

I'm fighting a cold. Alex came home with it from Indianapolis -- I guess 8 hours on a bus with a bunch of grimy kids will do that to you -- and I guess he passed it on to me. I'm on DayQuil today, wishing I were at home under a blanket but hoping for the best. Thankfully I don't think it will be a difficult workday.

For one, we're having our office Thanksgiving lunch today. It's a concept I kind-of don't care for. It's turkey and dressing and sides from Cracker Barrel, and I'm sure it will be delicious, but... we're having that already, on Thursday, at home. Why duplicate it at the office? I would rather have an appetizers party/lunch at the office, I think, to mark the holiday but not RUIN the meal that we're all waiting to eat on Thursday. What say you? Oh, well, I should be grateful, and I am. I didn't have to make a lunch this morning.

For our actual turkey day, we're roasting a turkey (with sausage dressing inside) -- no fancy brining or any of that for us. I'm also having mashed potatoes (I realllllly want to try this), sweet potatoes, corn, green bean casserole, Sister Schubert's rolls, cranberry jelly from a can (and whole-berry, but also from a can), and an apple moscato wine I found at the store that looked festive. And I did buy ingredients for cherry pie and pumpkin bars! I can't wait.

There has been talk about seeing Frozen 2 (at least some of us), and we are proud subscribers to Disney+, are you? There will be some movie-watching going on this weekend! Also, I just downloaded the free (public domain) Kindle version of Jane Austen's Emma, because I realized I've never read it before. So I'm definitely looking forward to the "downtime" portion of the holiday.

Wishing you and yours a lovely time, too! Tell me about it! What are your plans?