Sometimes I know I'm not present with the kids. There are too many dishes in the sink, needing to be washed; there's dinner that I haven't even started putting together; there's Christmas decorating (at least there was 2 weeks ago) that will take a full Saturday to really do "right." So the kids need to find their own entertainment, which they typically do in front of a flat-screen. (Well, also in the hallway, throwing a ball. I don't have time to argue about ball in the house -- at least they're being "active!" And not bugging me!) I'm okay with not always being present, and they NEED me to let them just go, spin around and find their own ways in the world, but I want to do more, be there enough.
In the past 24 hours I did at least three things more "presently," and I want to pat myself on the back for them. (Also, I just read one of those insipid HuffPo articles titled "motherhood is ____" -- they're all named the same -- and I'd rather have read/written my own version I guess.)
1. I did not "scratch on my phone," as my dad endearingly says, at all from 4:00 pm until 10:00 pm. My eyes were available for whatever they wanted to show me, my fingers for whatever they needed me to do.
2. At bedtime, I finally got to spend a few minutes with Alex. After getting Kate down, which is always a feat worth a pat on the back (but not dramatic last night, thank the Good Lord), I went into Alex's room. He was re-reading one of the Diary of a Wimpy Kid books. I flopped down on my stomach next to him, and we flipped through the pages together. We laughed and laughed at the part where they're trying to name their dog. Roderick, the older brother, suggests they call the dog Turtle. "Turd for short," he says, hilariously. We laughed out loud for at least 4 minutes together, repeating the phrase to each other and collapsing in giggles every time. Man, I needed to connect with that kid, in that exact way.
3. This morning at 5:00 (don't worry, that's my normal Thursday wake-up time), I was making a quick breakfast dish for my office Christmas brunch. Kate must have heard me and wandered downstairs. When she saw her new "doodles" coloring book on the counter, she asked if she could color in it, and if I would, too. And I did. We used markers and sat together in the dark of the kitchen, and just colored. There was very little chatter -- I mean, there was a little, she's a 5-y-o girl -- and it was just perfect.
Thursday, December 19
Monday, December 16
We had a better weekend
Thank you for your prayers. We had a nice weekend. Kate was SO much better. I'm not saying we're all cured, but. It was better. As, of course, these things tend to go. She and Alex invented a new game of pretend that satisfies them both, so all was right with the world, I suppose. :)
It's crunch-time for Christmas, isn't it?! I have a lot of tasks left but am trying not to look at the big picture, just one day at a time. I went grocery shopping yesterday and didn't even think about what I'm making for Christmas dinner, or what I might need. I have one more weekend before the big day, you see. I have time. (Why does it always feel like there's less time than there really IS?)
I wish I weren't working, that's for sure. We have a website launch this week so there's a lot of proofreading and testing; we're trying to prep for January, and my European colleagues take a full 2 weeks off, so that means doing half of January's work now; and I could just get a lot of shit done if I could be at home - laundry, cookies, vacuuming, changing sheets! This is my forever complaint, I suppose.
I made peanut clusters this weekend. Now it feels like the holidays. :) Maybe we'll have time to make some sugar cookies, too. I went ahead and took the working mom easy route for one of the kids' classroom parties -- ordered sugar cookies from a bakery! I mean, how easy are sugar cookies?! But not easy enough. Worth my $50 if I don't have to think about it! Remind me NOT to volunteer for the Valentine's Day parties -- I have done my duty.
Kate's holiday ballet recital is tomorrow night. Her last for a while, I guess, because she says she doesn't want to continue. They tried to ask me if I thought she'd prefer a hip-hop class. I think she would, and she asked, "What's hip-hop?" I said, "It's sassy dancing." Even with that description, she said, "Nah." ;) I'm relieved. Off to the next adventure. Soccer? Piano? We don't know yet. Maybe nothing.
Signing off to procrastinate and figure out which errands I want to run today at lunch!
It's crunch-time for Christmas, isn't it?! I have a lot of tasks left but am trying not to look at the big picture, just one day at a time. I went grocery shopping yesterday and didn't even think about what I'm making for Christmas dinner, or what I might need. I have one more weekend before the big day, you see. I have time. (Why does it always feel like there's less time than there really IS?)
I wish I weren't working, that's for sure. We have a website launch this week so there's a lot of proofreading and testing; we're trying to prep for January, and my European colleagues take a full 2 weeks off, so that means doing half of January's work now; and I could just get a lot of shit done if I could be at home - laundry, cookies, vacuuming, changing sheets! This is my forever complaint, I suppose.
I made peanut clusters this weekend. Now it feels like the holidays. :) Maybe we'll have time to make some sugar cookies, too. I went ahead and took the working mom easy route for one of the kids' classroom parties -- ordered sugar cookies from a bakery! I mean, how easy are sugar cookies?! But not easy enough. Worth my $50 if I don't have to think about it! Remind me NOT to volunteer for the Valentine's Day parties -- I have done my duty.
Kate's holiday ballet recital is tomorrow night. Her last for a while, I guess, because she says she doesn't want to continue. They tried to ask me if I thought she'd prefer a hip-hop class. I think she would, and she asked, "What's hip-hop?" I said, "It's sassy dancing." Even with that description, she said, "Nah." ;) I'm relieved. Off to the next adventure. Soccer? Piano? We don't know yet. Maybe nothing.
Signing off to procrastinate and figure out which errands I want to run today at lunch!
Friday, December 13
Hosting, and other notes
I think I'm going to get to host something Christmas-y this year. Well, besides Christmas dinner and the Christmas/New Year's Holidays -- we're already hosting those. :) I am so happy. I think it's the perfect plan: Grandmommy and Papa Joe arriving on Christmas Day. It's actually our first Christmas (Santa) morning in our own home, with no guests. That, in itself, is exciting and a small blessing, I think. Having guests is lovely, too, but I'm happy about it just being us. And then later in the day, we'll have our favorite guests-who-aren't-guests, but who are family, to join us for a real Christmas Dinner, and the rest of the fun stuff about the holidays: sitting around, watching movies, enjoying time off, playing with new things, reading new books, napping, chatting, drinking yummy beverages and eating cookies. ;)
But BESIDES that hosting, I think I'm going to get to host my little group of mom buddies, next Friday night. Another woman had volunteered, but one of our group is allergic to cats (so am I), and she asked if we could not go to that friend's home. (No offense.) So I volunteered. It's an easy potluck and BYOB, so as long as I can keep the place relatively straightened up, and it's already pretty straight because of Christmas decorating, I'm good to go. I love this group of girls, and like Swistle said, I definitely feel like it solidifies my place among them to host something. I've been wanting to -- I don't know why I don't ever send that email to INSTIGATE a get-together. Maybe after this I'll feel like I can.
I would love to do a "whole families" party, too, and not just the moms -- but I just don't think our house is big enough for that. Not in the winter, when the back deck is unavailable. This is yet another reason I'd like to try to find a new home. I really like having parties, and being stifled by the lack of space is hard.
------
The "other notes" are harder. We're still having a hard time with Kate. That's all I want to say. I wish I could make it funny, like all the bloggers do. I wish I could laugh and say, "She's like a tiny drunk, one minute saying one thing (GET ME A SNACK!), and then next minute, the exact opposite (NO! DON'T TOUCH MY SNACK BOWL!"), and expecting me to believe both hahaha, isn't it hysterical, how illogical they are!" But it has become less funny. I'm seriously considering the question, "Where would I even buy a lump of coal?" (...was that funny?)
Bless her. I pray for her so much. I pray for me. She gets her flaring temper from both her father and, I've learned, from me. I pray for Alex, who loses out. I pray for Shawn who has to deal with her irrational emotions, and then feel bad for mine. I have extremely HIGH expectations of my kids because that's the standard I was raised by, and I met it. I WAS A PERFECT CHILD. ;) (Really, I was.) I wouldn't have DREAMED of telling my mother she was stupid or bad or any of the things Kate says to me on a daily basis. But I need to let GO of those expectations. Every single one.
And yet, she's still so sweet when she decides to be. Today there was a glimmer of hope when she apologized to me for "being bad," with no prompting (that I know of). That's a tiny speck of hope. (and also breaks my heart)
I've said too much. Just... Mom, say a prayer for us. Say a prayer that this will be the worst of it and the teenage years will be a breeze. PLEASE, say that prayer. Because, Jesus.
But BESIDES that hosting, I think I'm going to get to host my little group of mom buddies, next Friday night. Another woman had volunteered, but one of our group is allergic to cats (so am I), and she asked if we could not go to that friend's home. (No offense.) So I volunteered. It's an easy potluck and BYOB, so as long as I can keep the place relatively straightened up, and it's already pretty straight because of Christmas decorating, I'm good to go. I love this group of girls, and like Swistle said, I definitely feel like it solidifies my place among them to host something. I've been wanting to -- I don't know why I don't ever send that email to INSTIGATE a get-together. Maybe after this I'll feel like I can.
I would love to do a "whole families" party, too, and not just the moms -- but I just don't think our house is big enough for that. Not in the winter, when the back deck is unavailable. This is yet another reason I'd like to try to find a new home. I really like having parties, and being stifled by the lack of space is hard.
------
The "other notes" are harder. We're still having a hard time with Kate. That's all I want to say. I wish I could make it funny, like all the bloggers do. I wish I could laugh and say, "She's like a tiny drunk, one minute saying one thing (GET ME A SNACK!), and then next minute, the exact opposite (NO! DON'T TOUCH MY SNACK BOWL!"), and expecting me to believe both hahaha, isn't it hysterical, how illogical they are!" But it has become less funny. I'm seriously considering the question, "Where would I even buy a lump of coal?" (...was that funny?)
Bless her. I pray for her so much. I pray for me. She gets her flaring temper from both her father and, I've learned, from me. I pray for Alex, who loses out. I pray for Shawn who has to deal with her irrational emotions, and then feel bad for mine. I have extremely HIGH expectations of my kids because that's the standard I was raised by, and I met it. I WAS A PERFECT CHILD. ;) (Really, I was.) I wouldn't have DREAMED of telling my mother she was stupid or bad or any of the things Kate says to me on a daily basis. But I need to let GO of those expectations. Every single one.
And yet, she's still so sweet when she decides to be. Today there was a glimmer of hope when she apologized to me for "being bad," with no prompting (that I know of). That's a tiny speck of hope. (and also breaks my heart)
I've said too much. Just... Mom, say a prayer for us. Say a prayer that this will be the worst of it and the teenage years will be a breeze. PLEASE, say that prayer. Because, Jesus.
Thursday, December 5
Bored out
I'm so bored with the Internet. There's nothing new. Is there? You tell me, I would say if this were still a public blog. Where are the hilarious new bloggers that I must be reading? The fun new sites I have to try?
I suppose I could DO MY WORK, but that's just too sad. No, I'm kidding -- in fact, I have a ton of work that needs doing, and none of it is terrible or awful. But I do like a good click-fest between projects, and Facebook, Twitter, my feed reader and my email just aren't doing it for me anymore. I do Instagram and Happier on my phone; they're good for a minute or two. Pinterest.... meh. I'm bored with it. The same people post the same recipes over and over, and I got to where I couldn't look at the decor or home-improvement stuff any longer because it made me feel bad about myself. There, I said it.
I used to also spend a lot of clicky time on Sparkpeople, but again, it got to be less motivational and more depressing. Maybe I'll pop over there later and see if I can kick my butt into gear. I have been using the Fitbit again, and meeting my 5,000 steps goal - woo! - after Swistle's inspirational post about it. Maybe after a few more successful days I will officially increase the goal to 6,000. And then further still, after that.
I still want to DO yoga, but I think I'm finished with the studio I have been attending. I've just never felt overly welcomed there. I think it's because I only do the one class, at random times, and am not a "regular." And that old dude, man, with the judgy eyes. I'm done with him. I might have spent some money for which I didn't get a class (I think I have 2 or 3 left on my "punchcard") but as our old friend Tess would say, it's a sunk cost. It's spent, whether or not I get anything from it. And it wasn't much. Some of the classes only cost $6 -- for an hour and 15 minute class! Bargain.
I don't know if I'll find another studio or not. Yoga is actually meant as singular meditation, after all. I like learning new poses and experiencing the kindness of yoga teachers, but... eh. I did just start receiving Yoga Journal. It's all organic and new-age and makes me feel like a bit of a faker. ;)
Today I'm bored with our weather, too! It has been gray and rainy for 4 days straight! Normally I like the moody feel of those kinds of days, and I will say it feels awfully wintery (except that the temps today will be in the high 60s), but I'm ready for some variety. It can get cold, but we need the sun once in a while.
Perhaps this last paragraph helps explain my general mood! Ha.
I suppose I could DO MY WORK, but that's just too sad. No, I'm kidding -- in fact, I have a ton of work that needs doing, and none of it is terrible or awful. But I do like a good click-fest between projects, and Facebook, Twitter, my feed reader and my email just aren't doing it for me anymore. I do Instagram and Happier on my phone; they're good for a minute or two. Pinterest.... meh. I'm bored with it. The same people post the same recipes over and over, and I got to where I couldn't look at the decor or home-improvement stuff any longer because it made me feel bad about myself. There, I said it.
I used to also spend a lot of clicky time on Sparkpeople, but again, it got to be less motivational and more depressing. Maybe I'll pop over there later and see if I can kick my butt into gear. I have been using the Fitbit again, and meeting my 5,000 steps goal - woo! - after Swistle's inspirational post about it. Maybe after a few more successful days I will officially increase the goal to 6,000. And then further still, after that.
I still want to DO yoga, but I think I'm finished with the studio I have been attending. I've just never felt overly welcomed there. I think it's because I only do the one class, at random times, and am not a "regular." And that old dude, man, with the judgy eyes. I'm done with him. I might have spent some money for which I didn't get a class (I think I have 2 or 3 left on my "punchcard") but as our old friend Tess would say, it's a sunk cost. It's spent, whether or not I get anything from it. And it wasn't much. Some of the classes only cost $6 -- for an hour and 15 minute class! Bargain.
I don't know if I'll find another studio or not. Yoga is actually meant as singular meditation, after all. I like learning new poses and experiencing the kindness of yoga teachers, but... eh. I did just start receiving Yoga Journal. It's all organic and new-age and makes me feel like a bit of a faker. ;)
Today I'm bored with our weather, too! It has been gray and rainy for 4 days straight! Normally I like the moody feel of those kinds of days, and I will say it feels awfully wintery (except that the temps today will be in the high 60s), but I'm ready for some variety. It can get cold, but we need the sun once in a while.
Perhaps this last paragraph helps explain my general mood! Ha.
Tuesday, November 26
More thankful
I went back just now, through the archives of my own blog, and found my Jan 1, 2013 post. Here's what it says:
So there's sleep.
Plus, I've been capturing little moments in the Happier app since February. It's a wonderful way to count blessings, and counting blessings -- even just the smallest things like "wearing a scarf I like" -- changes you. It does. You notice those things more. In the app, you even want to take little pictures of them. (Kate always scoffs at my photo library: "WHY do you have a picture of your Starbucks cup, MOM? That's so weird." Haha! She's only five.) So that feels like some of the "light" I was wishing for, back in January.
And I've definitely been asking for spiritual help lately, with Kate's little tantrums and attitude testing me. I pray over her every chance I get, and over her brother. "Please help her be kind. Please be with her, in her heart." "Please give him patience. Let him know he's loved and cherished." But also for me, "Help me know what to do." That one a lot. One of our parish deacons (the one I like best, and found out recently he's a Franciscan, so no wonder) gave a homily this past Sunday, and said we all need at least "one humiliation each day," because it keeps us going to God. It's a pretty smart theory, and I've certainly been getting mine.
Anyway, I've been dying to write something about the Thanksgiving holiday, but haven't at all been motivated, until I saw the January post. I think I've accomplished some of those things, and I'm glad. Here's hoping I can continue to be even more thankful all this holiday weekend, and through stressful December.
In 2013 I'm hoping to just move more lightly through the days.... I don't want to focus on the details all the time. I'd rather see the big things -- love, joy, dedication -- in the forefront, and the rest -- work projects, stress about commitments, etc. -- just background noise.I don't know if it's reflected here, but I think I have managed to do that, a little bit, in 2013. It's partly because, I will freely admit, I've gotten more sleep this year. Not only has KT been better about not waking me up at night, but also, Shawn and I have made a bigger effort to get to bed in the 10 o'clock hour as much as we can. (I hate "not only/but also," by the way. I employ one writer who overuses it and I have come to think it's the worst grammar convention in the history of writing.)
So there's sleep.
Plus, I've been capturing little moments in the Happier app since February. It's a wonderful way to count blessings, and counting blessings -- even just the smallest things like "wearing a scarf I like" -- changes you. It does. You notice those things more. In the app, you even want to take little pictures of them. (Kate always scoffs at my photo library: "WHY do you have a picture of your Starbucks cup, MOM? That's so weird." Haha! She's only five.) So that feels like some of the "light" I was wishing for, back in January.
And I've definitely been asking for spiritual help lately, with Kate's little tantrums and attitude testing me. I pray over her every chance I get, and over her brother. "Please help her be kind. Please be with her, in her heart." "Please give him patience. Let him know he's loved and cherished." But also for me, "Help me know what to do." That one a lot. One of our parish deacons (the one I like best, and found out recently he's a Franciscan, so no wonder) gave a homily this past Sunday, and said we all need at least "one humiliation each day," because it keeps us going to God. It's a pretty smart theory, and I've certainly been getting mine.
Anyway, I've been dying to write something about the Thanksgiving holiday, but haven't at all been motivated, until I saw the January post. I think I've accomplished some of those things, and I'm glad. Here's hoping I can continue to be even more thankful all this holiday weekend, and through stressful December.
Wednesday, November 20
She was probably sick; and a yoga update
So, Kate came home from school at noon yesterday feeling cruddy. She did a lot of sleeping, and coughing. She was likely feeling cruddy all weekend (Sunday, when her whining was a day-long affair) and Monday morning, which prompted my last post.
Don't I feel like an idiot.
Oh well, nothing to be done for it now. I tried one of the calm, hug-it-out, talk about it techniques this morning with success... the first time. The second tantrum, 5 minutes later, sent me into a rage. I realize this whole thing is likely my problem, not even hers. I'll have a large guilt, please. Hold the self-loathing. If this becomes the go-to technique, then it only took me five and three-quarter years to figure out my own child. Yay?
Anyway, a good sweat would help me feel better so I'm off to yoga today. It's been so long that I'm nervous again, just like the first time I went. Stupid. I hope that guy isn't there. I've always seen him on Fridays; I hope he only goes once a week and not twice. Ugh.
Don't I feel like an idiot.
Oh well, nothing to be done for it now. I tried one of the calm, hug-it-out, talk about it techniques this morning with success... the first time. The second tantrum, 5 minutes later, sent me into a rage. I realize this whole thing is likely my problem, not even hers. I'll have a large guilt, please. Hold the self-loathing. If this becomes the go-to technique, then it only took me five and three-quarter years to figure out my own child. Yay?
Anyway, a good sweat would help me feel better so I'm off to yoga today. It's been so long that I'm nervous again, just like the first time I went. Stupid. I hope that guy isn't there. I've always seen him on Fridays; I hope he only goes once a week and not twice. Ugh.
Monday, November 18
Wrong side of the bed
Today's not the first time I've cried on a Monday morning, when my manager/friend walked in and asked, "How are you?"
Unfortunately, I was not that great.
Unfortunately, KT and I experienced our morning friction again today.
Has it been a while? Maybe. I mean, we've talked before about how she isn't a morning person. Thankfully, we haven't fought very much about bedtime since Kindergarten started. Lately she's been grouchy about wanting to lie down on the couch, NOT THE CHAIR, when we come downstairs for morning snuggles. Lord forbid if Alex makes it to the couch before her. But she's somehow been able to get over it, and hasn't gotten flipped out over the lights being TOO BRIGHT in quite a while.
Until today. Really, we spent most of yesterday (Sunday) in a heightened state of emotion, too. She was mad at me about every little thing. Nothing was going her way and she made that known.
Always, after these tantrums, I feel two things: 1. Ashamed, at the things I think (and sometimes the things I say), in response to her lashing out; and my inability to handle it with more patience and calm. But I mean, good grief, should I also have to be spoken to disrespectfully by my child?? No, I should NOT. 2. Guilt, that I've let it go this long and she's still acting this way. Is it because I don't have (make) the time to help her get through it with "emotional intelligence (see link below)?" Or time to discipline her properly? I've thought that "ignore, ignore" was the Number One Rule... but maybe that's also known as "Letting her Get Away With It." She's five and a half... Tantrums should have long ended, shouldn't they have? At least tantrums this big? I don't know.
I don't want us to punish her harshly, because she feels everything very deeply, from the initial reactions that get her ramped up, all the way to deep remorse. Often in the last 3 months, she's sobbed, "I don't want to be a bad person..." which just.... you can imagine what that does to a mama's heart.
We can't NOT discipline her, though, can we? I always run to the Internet or a book and further convince myself that I'm doing it all wrong, even though I know in my head that isn't true, and that every parent just does the best they can, and it's good enough. It IS.
I hate it for Alex, because it's not fair to him that she forces my full attention on her all the time; it's simply not fair. Even though he's older and doesn't need me as much, I know that too... but he's so like me and averse to conflict that he'll often give up whatever it is she's fighting for, just to avoid the hassle. What does that teach her? And yet, I don't blame him; it's what I do, myself. So I've definitely taught her, "Scream, and you'll eventually get your way." Not in every instance, but in some of them. I'm sorry for that. I don't believe in bratty kids, I swear. Would you believe me if you watched us from afar? And how do I turn it around now?
What's the natural consequence for acting out in the morning? You have to eat your breakfast alone in the dining room, instead of with Alex in the kitchen? (She'll scream that she's scared to be alone.) You must not want your breakfast; let's just go get dressed and you can have a granola bar on the way to school. ("You don't even want to FEED ME, Mommy? You don't even LOVE ME!" Believe me, this is what will transpire.) The next morning, you have to wake up with an alarm clock instead of Mommy so nicely waking you up?
Or, what can I start taking away that she will give a rip about? all TV? (which punishes Alex as well). Dessert? Sweets and Snacks? It's not immediate so she won't see the logic. She doesn't care that much about her toys and again, not immediate unless it's a specific situation)
How do I help her learn that she cannot always have her way? We played a board game yesterday and she flipped the board, mad when I pulled a card that she wanted. Yeah, she's that kid. It was CandyLand -- the game meant to teach 3-year-olds about winning and losing. I tried to gently tell her that we can't win every time -- as I have since we started playing games with the kids -- but it fell on deaf ears.
If we up her bedtime because she's just not getting enough sleep (I guess this is possible), she'll have to go to bed at 7:00 (that would give her 11 hours). I honestly don't think I can make that work.
I've come out with so many different "New House Rules" charts and "Kate's Behavior Chart"s over the years that I doubt they have any effect at this point.
I like what I read in the link above, and she does seem to respond to that type of helping behavior... I WANT to acknowledge her emotions every time and say, "There, there, I know you're mad/sad, and I'm here, you're safe. Let's talk about it -- you can tell me about why you're scared or upset." Is that the right thing to do? Or is it just babying the baby? Giving her attention when that's exactly what she wants?
I don't know which.
p.s. I know. I KNOW that everything's okay and I'm doing the best I can, and she's fine and she'll BE fine. I know, really. I love her and I love being a parent. It helps me sort out the difficult emotions and ideas, and to vent my frustrations, by writing it all here.
Unfortunately, I was not that great.
Unfortunately, KT and I experienced our morning friction again today.
Has it been a while? Maybe. I mean, we've talked before about how she isn't a morning person. Thankfully, we haven't fought very much about bedtime since Kindergarten started. Lately she's been grouchy about wanting to lie down on the couch, NOT THE CHAIR, when we come downstairs for morning snuggles. Lord forbid if Alex makes it to the couch before her. But she's somehow been able to get over it, and hasn't gotten flipped out over the lights being TOO BRIGHT in quite a while.
Until today. Really, we spent most of yesterday (Sunday) in a heightened state of emotion, too. She was mad at me about every little thing. Nothing was going her way and she made that known.
Always, after these tantrums, I feel two things: 1. Ashamed, at the things I think (and sometimes the things I say), in response to her lashing out; and my inability to handle it with more patience and calm. But I mean, good grief, should I also have to be spoken to disrespectfully by my child?? No, I should NOT. 2. Guilt, that I've let it go this long and she's still acting this way. Is it because I don't have (make) the time to help her get through it with "emotional intelligence (see link below)?" Or time to discipline her properly? I've thought that "ignore, ignore" was the Number One Rule... but maybe that's also known as "Letting her Get Away With It." She's five and a half... Tantrums should have long ended, shouldn't they have? At least tantrums this big? I don't know.
I don't want us to punish her harshly, because she feels everything very deeply, from the initial reactions that get her ramped up, all the way to deep remorse. Often in the last 3 months, she's sobbed, "I don't want to be a bad person..." which just.... you can imagine what that does to a mama's heart.
We can't NOT discipline her, though, can we? I always run to the Internet or a book and further convince myself that I'm doing it all wrong, even though I know in my head that isn't true, and that every parent just does the best they can, and it's good enough. It IS.
I hate it for Alex, because it's not fair to him that she forces my full attention on her all the time; it's simply not fair. Even though he's older and doesn't need me as much, I know that too... but he's so like me and averse to conflict that he'll often give up whatever it is she's fighting for, just to avoid the hassle. What does that teach her? And yet, I don't blame him; it's what I do, myself. So I've definitely taught her, "Scream, and you'll eventually get your way." Not in every instance, but in some of them. I'm sorry for that. I don't believe in bratty kids, I swear. Would you believe me if you watched us from afar? And how do I turn it around now?
What's the natural consequence for acting out in the morning? You have to eat your breakfast alone in the dining room, instead of with Alex in the kitchen? (She'll scream that she's scared to be alone.) You must not want your breakfast; let's just go get dressed and you can have a granola bar on the way to school. ("You don't even want to FEED ME, Mommy? You don't even LOVE ME!" Believe me, this is what will transpire.) The next morning, you have to wake up with an alarm clock instead of Mommy so nicely waking you up?
Or, what can I start taking away that she will give a rip about? all TV? (which punishes Alex as well). Dessert? Sweets and Snacks? It's not immediate so she won't see the logic. She doesn't care that much about her toys and again, not immediate unless it's a specific situation)
How do I help her learn that she cannot always have her way? We played a board game yesterday and she flipped the board, mad when I pulled a card that she wanted. Yeah, she's that kid. It was CandyLand -- the game meant to teach 3-year-olds about winning and losing. I tried to gently tell her that we can't win every time -- as I have since we started playing games with the kids -- but it fell on deaf ears.
If we up her bedtime because she's just not getting enough sleep (I guess this is possible), she'll have to go to bed at 7:00 (that would give her 11 hours). I honestly don't think I can make that work.
I've come out with so many different "New House Rules" charts and "Kate's Behavior Chart"s over the years that I doubt they have any effect at this point.
I like what I read in the link above, and she does seem to respond to that type of helping behavior... I WANT to acknowledge her emotions every time and say, "There, there, I know you're mad/sad, and I'm here, you're safe. Let's talk about it -- you can tell me about why you're scared or upset." Is that the right thing to do? Or is it just babying the baby? Giving her attention when that's exactly what she wants?
I don't know which.
p.s. I know. I KNOW that everything's okay and I'm doing the best I can, and she's fine and she'll BE fine. I know, really. I love her and I love being a parent. It helps me sort out the difficult emotions and ideas, and to vent my frustrations, by writing it all here.
Wednesday, November 13
A few ideas
I kinda would like to have some sort of celebration this summer.
I think my DH appreciates knowing these things, and being given a few ideas. I know it's not even Christmas yet -- I haven't given any ideas for Christmas (we're maybe skipping gifts this year). But I thought I'd put a bug in someone's ear. A
F O R T I E T H
birthday is happening on a Wednesday in June 2014.
Here are the few ideas. We mustn't do all of them; I'd be thrilled with one:
Of course for HIS 40th, Kate had pneumonia, I think we ate dinner at home, and I tried to frost a cake myself, which was cakewrecks.com worthy. Truly pathetic. :/ Not sure how to reconcile my guilt about that (he did have a surprise 35th), but I'll have to think about it another time. Hitting Publish before I wimp out....
I think my DH appreciates knowing these things, and being given a few ideas. I know it's not even Christmas yet -- I haven't given any ideas for Christmas (we're maybe skipping gifts this year). But I thought I'd put a bug in someone's ear. A
F O R T I E T H
birthday is happening on a Wednesday in June 2014.
Here are the few ideas. We mustn't do all of them; I'd be thrilled with one:
- A bottle of Veuve Cliquot
- or a small family fondue or some-other-atypical party (maybe at the Melting Pot)
- or a nice-sized party at our house (I'll even help cook and clean)
- or a surprise party (wherein I do NOT have to help cook and clean) ;) -- is it a surprise if you ask for it?
- or a weekend getaway, just the two of us?
- or a day-trip or 1- or 2-night family trip somewhere fun/unusual/interesting?
Of course for HIS 40th, Kate had pneumonia, I think we ate dinner at home, and I tried to frost a cake myself, which was cakewrecks.com worthy. Truly pathetic. :/ Not sure how to reconcile my guilt about that (he did have a surprise 35th), but I'll have to think about it another time. Hitting Publish before I wimp out....
Thursday, November 7
Sick day
Tuesday, because Alex had a 101.5 fever the day before, and because the fourth grade at his school is plagued this week, meriting a typed letter from the school nurse to remind us of the 24-hour rule (fever-free, WITHOUT fever-reducing medicine, they said emphatically).... we stayed home. Seriously, 21 kids out of his class of 54 felled by strep or flu or virus or sinuses!
In retrospect, he probably had a fever Sunday and Monday, too, but I assumed he was just tired from his Cub Scout trip. Whoops. He wasn't really complaining, as I'm told boys sometimes don't do. The fever was gone by the time he woke up Tuesday, of course. He stayed in his jammies and I did a very reckless thing and didn't go to the office to get my laptop. Just took a day. I checked my email one time only and didn't even respond.
It was lovely.
I made 2 lasagnas for the freezer, before noon. Yes, I have been praising the pre-fab ones recently, but I do love to give food to new mamas and sick people, and I'm involved in a current opportunity for that. (One lasagna is for us, however.) It was relaxing to just cook like I had all the time in the world - no dinnertime bearing down on me! I did all the laundry I could find. Used up my last dryer sheet, even! He played on the computer, worked on a social studies project due next week, watched some (really terrible) TV. Cartoon Network needs to go home. Cartoon Network, you are very drunk.
After lunch we agreed to read/rest for 1 hour. He read Boys' Life magazine without complaint. At first he was reading it aloud to me every little bit but then we settled in, and he was working a crossword or puzzle of some sort, and I finished my book, and tried to fall asleep on the couch. Such a nice silence, together. The lights were off, just soft daylight through the blinds. This kid is so easygoing. I think he needed that quiet time, too. He's a lot like me in a lot of ways.
We played cards. I taught him Gin Rummy (what I know of it), and he taught me a game called "Trash," which is fun, too. Then we played an interminable game of War (they always are) in the afternoon sunshine at our kitchen table. Then we went to pick up Kate at school.
I want to box up and wrap the memory of our nice sick day together. :)
In retrospect, he probably had a fever Sunday and Monday, too, but I assumed he was just tired from his Cub Scout trip. Whoops. He wasn't really complaining, as I'm told boys sometimes don't do. The fever was gone by the time he woke up Tuesday, of course. He stayed in his jammies and I did a very reckless thing and didn't go to the office to get my laptop. Just took a day. I checked my email one time only and didn't even respond.
It was lovely.
I made 2 lasagnas for the freezer, before noon. Yes, I have been praising the pre-fab ones recently, but I do love to give food to new mamas and sick people, and I'm involved in a current opportunity for that. (One lasagna is for us, however.) It was relaxing to just cook like I had all the time in the world - no dinnertime bearing down on me! I did all the laundry I could find. Used up my last dryer sheet, even! He played on the computer, worked on a social studies project due next week, watched some (really terrible) TV. Cartoon Network needs to go home. Cartoon Network, you are very drunk.
After lunch we agreed to read/rest for 1 hour. He read Boys' Life magazine without complaint. At first he was reading it aloud to me every little bit but then we settled in, and he was working a crossword or puzzle of some sort, and I finished my book, and tried to fall asleep on the couch. Such a nice silence, together. The lights were off, just soft daylight through the blinds. This kid is so easygoing. I think he needed that quiet time, too. He's a lot like me in a lot of ways.
We played cards. I taught him Gin Rummy (what I know of it), and he taught me a game called "Trash," which is fun, too. Then we played an interminable game of War (they always are) in the afternoon sunshine at our kitchen table. Then we went to pick up Kate at school.
I want to box up and wrap the memory of our nice sick day together. :)
Monday, November 4
So I'll remember
I don't do photo albums much anymore. I feel extreme guilt about it. I really, truly want to do photobooks, and maybe I should make a goal of catching up in 2014. But at least I will have snapshots in words to help me look back at the beautiful things in my life.
- Kate losing her first tooth. We're (Mom and I) hanging out in the kitchen on Saturday, she's watching TV in the den. She calmly walks over to us and says,"Look what I did." And shows me a tiny little bloody tooth in her hand. Her purple and pink tooth pillow had JUST arrived the day before from Etsy. Whew!
- Alex and Shawn going on yet another Cub Scout campout. This time on an aircraft carrier, the Yorktown, where they slept in bunks stacked 4 high, with barely enough room to roll over between them. Might have been better than sleeping in a tent, but not much. I know they're going to treasure the memories they made together in Charleston, even if the time spent there wasn't all roses and unicorns (or, in their case, it wasn't all gunfire demonstrations or cool programming or soft mattresses). I know that this time with his dad is the best foundation for Alex's heart and will make him an amazing man and (hopefully) father one day, too. I can't wait to see the seeds Shawn's planting someday grow big and strong.
- I mean, I CAN wait. Slow down, time. But it will be a satisfying sight.
- Another volleyball state championship game for my cousin, Amber, a junior. This year, it was a loss. (Last year, a win.) Seeing her all grown up, but still so young. High school doesn't feel that long ago when I'm there, and I know it won't be long before my kids are in that amazing time of their lives, too -- it's one long mind- and time-warp-trip, going to her games. It felt appropriate that she had to learn the agony of defeat this year. Tough on her, but made me proud of her. And here's hoping her senior year brings a come-from-behind, satisfying victory.
- Quiet afternoons with MY Dad, doing our 'project' -- a word that has bonded us since childhood, when he'd wake me on a Saturday with "Lee... got a project for ya..." -- in the very definition of a companionable silence. (We painted the deck rails.) The fall sunlight was perfect and there was even a nice breeze sometimes, and we shared a comment here or there, about a dog barking, or about Kate wandering off to play with the neighbors, or about our paint running out. It was hard work, on one hand, and easy work on the other hand. Something about the meditative action of painting, too -- whitewashing -- was calming. I enjoyed being in those moments, so much.
- Kitchen table with my Mom. There's nothing better. Our adult friendship is built on the kitchen tables.
- Easy, but big, beautiful family dinners. I mean, a frozen lasagna. A Caesar salad. Garlic bread. There's nothing fancy about it, but for sure pulling the extra leaf out from under the table, and gathering around it, is one of life's biggest blessings.
Thursday, October 31
Halloween things, and scarier things
Two things:
I have never liked dressing up for Halloween, as an adult. Maybe I did too much dressing up as a teen in community theater? Maybe I thought I didn't have any good ideas (and wasn't willing to spend $29)? Maybe I didn't think I could pull off the sexy-whatever that seems to be the norm for adult women costumes (definitely)...I don't know why.
But this year my office has a new HR manager, and a real need for some morale-boosting (it's just been a crummy few years with no social events at all), and so we're actually having a costume contest. And it's actually really fun. I'm Minnie Mouse. I already had a headband with the ears and the red bow from our last Disney trip, and I just safety-pinned white felt polka-dots onto a red t-shirt. Easy! (I also bought white gloves but it's awfully hard to type in them!)
The best part was Kate telling me this morning, "Everyone is going to love your costume, Mommy!" :) Awww. Made my day.
In previous jobs I've had, there were always the few people who dressed up, but everyone looked sideways at those weirdos. Without an official invitation, I never was motivated to do so myself. I'm glad of the planned requirement, this year.
Around the office, we have Rainbow Brite, a cowgirl, a "devil in a blue dress," (clever), a zombie, a guy wearing an Afro wig who says he's Bob Ross (love), a fortune teller, some other creative things, and several bah-humbugs who aren't dressed at all. The ones whose religions prevent them from celebrating Halloween (Jehovah's Witnesses, we have a few), I'll give a pass -- but the regular ol' people who just didn't feel like it, I'm now scowling in your general direction. Even though I used to be one of you.
---
Much scarier than Halloween, is the fact that at my kids' Catholic school now, they are having Intruder Drills along with Fire Drills and Tornado Drills. "Intruder Drills are where you have to HIDE, Mommy," Kate says in her 5-year-old, doesn't-even-know-what-"intruder"-means voice. She prefers the restroom to the closet, she says, and is glad Ms. Lane brings a flashlight.
I just can't... this is so incredibly sad. Leaves me feeling entirely hopeless for our world.
I have never liked dressing up for Halloween, as an adult. Maybe I did too much dressing up as a teen in community theater? Maybe I thought I didn't have any good ideas (and wasn't willing to spend $29)? Maybe I didn't think I could pull off the sexy-whatever that seems to be the norm for adult women costumes (definitely)...I don't know why.
But this year my office has a new HR manager, and a real need for some morale-boosting (it's just been a crummy few years with no social events at all), and so we're actually having a costume contest. And it's actually really fun. I'm Minnie Mouse. I already had a headband with the ears and the red bow from our last Disney trip, and I just safety-pinned white felt polka-dots onto a red t-shirt. Easy! (I also bought white gloves but it's awfully hard to type in them!)
The best part was Kate telling me this morning, "Everyone is going to love your costume, Mommy!" :) Awww. Made my day.
In previous jobs I've had, there were always the few people who dressed up, but everyone looked sideways at those weirdos. Without an official invitation, I never was motivated to do so myself. I'm glad of the planned requirement, this year.
Around the office, we have Rainbow Brite, a cowgirl, a "devil in a blue dress," (clever), a zombie, a guy wearing an Afro wig who says he's Bob Ross (love), a fortune teller, some other creative things, and several bah-humbugs who aren't dressed at all. The ones whose religions prevent them from celebrating Halloween (Jehovah's Witnesses, we have a few), I'll give a pass -- but the regular ol' people who just didn't feel like it, I'm now scowling in your general direction. Even though I used to be one of you.
---
Much scarier than Halloween, is the fact that at my kids' Catholic school now, they are having Intruder Drills along with Fire Drills and Tornado Drills. "Intruder Drills are where you have to HIDE, Mommy," Kate says in her 5-year-old, doesn't-even-know-what-"intruder"-means voice. She prefers the restroom to the closet, she says, and is glad Ms. Lane brings a flashlight.
I just can't... this is so incredibly sad. Leaves me feeling entirely hopeless for our world.
Tuesday, October 29
Flavorful!
I made jambalaya for dinner last night. It turned out pretty darn tasty. Wasn't as amazing as the jambalaya recipe that my parents and Uncle are currently using, but still had that delicious, unmistakable Cajun flavor, and what seemed like a lot of healthy vegetables so it was virtuous. It calls for a 1-lb. can of whole tomatoes, among other things. Lycopene for the win!
I made mine with shrimp, ham and brown rice. You can also do oysters, but why would you? The parents'/Uncle's recipe has chicken and andouille sausage, I think, but this easy recipe (from Great Aunt Lou) doesn't.
Only thing I didn't have was a nice loaf of French bread. Darn. Probably saved myself 600 calories, though.
I can't wait to have the leftovers for lunch tomorrow. (Didn't bring them today because of eating the same thing 2 days in a row. It's just not right.)
The kids tried it and both said, with eyebrows raised as if surprised, "That's pretty good!" As I tell them every time I make something Cajun, "Good, you'll be seeing it again."
----
Although, it's funny about "family" recipes. I think a lot of people who have nothing at all to do with Louisiana make Cajun dishes like jambalaya. They might even call them "family favorites." The millions of cooking websites and recipe Pins and cooking shows these days -- not to mention the availability of ingredients -- makes it possible to have anything you want as a "family" recipe. You like Pad Thai? It's easy. Want some Indian curry and Naan? Got that. Authentic Polish kielbasa something-or-other? I bet there's a crock-pot version.
It makes the special recipes a little less unique, I think, which is kind-of sad. It also dilutes the family "norm," because in any given week, we could have pasta, sitr-fry, pulled pork, and chorizo quesadillas. We're diluted on heritage -- we're not Italian in any way, nor Chinese, nor Mexican. (I guess pulled pork BBQ's the only thing we can legitimately claim, as Georgians.) But we're always big on flavor. :)
I made mine with shrimp, ham and brown rice. You can also do oysters, but why would you? The parents'/Uncle's recipe has chicken and andouille sausage, I think, but this easy recipe (from Great Aunt Lou) doesn't.
Only thing I didn't have was a nice loaf of French bread. Darn. Probably saved myself 600 calories, though.
I can't wait to have the leftovers for lunch tomorrow. (Didn't bring them today because of eating the same thing 2 days in a row. It's just not right.)
The kids tried it and both said, with eyebrows raised as if surprised, "That's pretty good!" As I tell them every time I make something Cajun, "Good, you'll be seeing it again."
----
Although, it's funny about "family" recipes. I think a lot of people who have nothing at all to do with Louisiana make Cajun dishes like jambalaya. They might even call them "family favorites." The millions of cooking websites and recipe Pins and cooking shows these days -- not to mention the availability of ingredients -- makes it possible to have anything you want as a "family" recipe. You like Pad Thai? It's easy. Want some Indian curry and Naan? Got that. Authentic Polish kielbasa something-or-other? I bet there's a crock-pot version.
It makes the special recipes a little less unique, I think, which is kind-of sad. It also dilutes the family "norm," because in any given week, we could have pasta, sitr-fry, pulled pork, and chorizo quesadillas. We're diluted on heritage -- we're not Italian in any way, nor Chinese, nor Mexican. (I guess pulled pork BBQ's the only thing we can legitimately claim, as Georgians.) But we're always big on flavor. :)
Wednesday, October 23
Don't look at her
Let me tell you what volunteering in Kate's classroom has been like, so far. [So Fun.]
I went in last week to help the new computer lab teacher with the Kindergarteners. I didn't do much prep-work for this event with Kate; the day before, I mentioned it to her. It was going to be 45 minutes or an hour -- a convenient lunch-hour for me -- and I wanted to give her fair warning but didn't think we needed to discuss it at great length. She knows I go over to school once in a while to do little "jobs." But when I told her, I definitely got A Look. It wasn't the teenage eyeroll you're thinking, but it was close. There was a hint of, "Are you kidding me?" (the sarcastic version), and just a touch of "I'm revolted by the thought," too. Clearly the Kindergarten classroom is her very own domain and she does not want Mommy coming in there to mess it all up. (Or, she doesn't want me to see how WELL-BEHAVED she can actually be....)
When I saw her coming into the computer classroom, she nearly stopped right in line to GAPE at me, like, "Really? You actually ARE here?" and she kind-of wrinkled up her nose like something smelled bad. Talk about funny. I made SURE not to talk to her much during the class. Instead I took it as an opportunity to meet some of her friends. (And of course, to observe the wide variety of computer skills that a group of 28 mostly-privileged white kids displays -- it was so interesting. Some can navigate through a SurveyMonkey questionnaire with just a little bit of reading help by the teacher, clicking here and there and having no trouble. Other kids track their mouse all over the table, trying to get the cursor back where it belongs, and unable to find "A" or "Enter" on the keyboard at all. Fascinating.)
Yesterday, I volunteered again, this time in the Library slash Scholastic Book Fair. Helping kids count out their money, now THAT'S fun. ;) Once again, Kate was not very happy to see me (at least on the outside). She did allow herself to whine to me a little bit, when she realized her $12 saved-up-allowance would only buy her 2 books, but at that point my hour was up and I had to leave. I made the mistake of calling her "Kate-Kate" on my way out. Her Kinderg. friends don't know that name -- just her Pre-K friends, who've known her and called her that since before they could all talk (awww). I apologized later for calling her that in front of people. Thankfully, she hadn't noticed or cared.
I'm not hurt by any of her antics, by the way. It's actually the best part of it. I do my best to react the right way, and not annoy her any further, and not incite her! It's so funny. Also of note, Alex used to totally LIGHT UP when I (infrequently) showed up at school. Makes me want to be there even MORE. I have another computer lab date next month, I think, and I signed up to be a "Mystery Reader" in January. HOW embarrassing, to have your mom READ (think I should do character voices??) to your class. Hahaha. I can't wait.
I went in last week to help the new computer lab teacher with the Kindergarteners. I didn't do much prep-work for this event with Kate; the day before, I mentioned it to her. It was going to be 45 minutes or an hour -- a convenient lunch-hour for me -- and I wanted to give her fair warning but didn't think we needed to discuss it at great length. She knows I go over to school once in a while to do little "jobs." But when I told her, I definitely got A Look. It wasn't the teenage eyeroll you're thinking, but it was close. There was a hint of, "Are you kidding me?" (the sarcastic version), and just a touch of "I'm revolted by the thought," too. Clearly the Kindergarten classroom is her very own domain and she does not want Mommy coming in there to mess it all up. (Or, she doesn't want me to see how WELL-BEHAVED she can actually be....)
When I saw her coming into the computer classroom, she nearly stopped right in line to GAPE at me, like, "Really? You actually ARE here?" and she kind-of wrinkled up her nose like something smelled bad. Talk about funny. I made SURE not to talk to her much during the class. Instead I took it as an opportunity to meet some of her friends. (And of course, to observe the wide variety of computer skills that a group of 28 mostly-privileged white kids displays -- it was so interesting. Some can navigate through a SurveyMonkey questionnaire with just a little bit of reading help by the teacher, clicking here and there and having no trouble. Other kids track their mouse all over the table, trying to get the cursor back where it belongs, and unable to find "A" or "Enter" on the keyboard at all. Fascinating.)
Yesterday, I volunteered again, this time in the Library slash Scholastic Book Fair. Helping kids count out their money, now THAT'S fun. ;) Once again, Kate was not very happy to see me (at least on the outside). She did allow herself to whine to me a little bit, when she realized her $12 saved-up-allowance would only buy her 2 books, but at that point my hour was up and I had to leave. I made the mistake of calling her "Kate-Kate" on my way out. Her Kinderg. friends don't know that name -- just her Pre-K friends, who've known her and called her that since before they could all talk (awww). I apologized later for calling her that in front of people. Thankfully, she hadn't noticed or cared.
I'm not hurt by any of her antics, by the way. It's actually the best part of it. I do my best to react the right way, and not annoy her any further, and not incite her! It's so funny. Also of note, Alex used to totally LIGHT UP when I (infrequently) showed up at school. Makes me want to be there even MORE. I have another computer lab date next month, I think, and I signed up to be a "Mystery Reader" in January. HOW embarrassing, to have your mom READ (think I should do character voices??) to your class. Hahaha. I can't wait.
Monday, October 21
Around the office
I can tell my co-worker/mgr is going to be grouchy today. Great. After such a nice weekend, too. Leo B. would say that her mood doesn't have to determine how I'm going to react. It's a "leaf falling" or a "bird flying by." I can't control it and there's no need to respond with equal grouchiness. I should instead try to respond with care for her. I should consider why she might be feeling that way, and then consider ways to show her compassion and kindness instead of feeding her bad mood by letting myself be negative, too.
Except I think I know why she's grouchy -- it's because it's Monday and she had to get out of BED, and she has a lot of TASKS to do at work today. And not enough time to do them. People demanding things of her. Same as the rest of us!! It's hard to feel sympathy when this is the reality.
Well. I don't want to sink into a crappy Monday. -Brisk clap!- I have rearranged my desk, did I mention it? In an attempt to alleviate what I still think is carpal tunnel in my left elbow, although a physical therapist has suggested otherwise (just in conversation, I haven't seen anyone officially)... I moved my computer out of the corner of my desk. I'm pretty sure I was extending the elbow in question farther than necessary so I could rest it on the desk. Very poor ergonimic technique. Now I don't have that option -- I must by necessity hover my wrists and elbows properly over the keyboard. I also have a nice footrest under my desk, so my short little legs can reach the ground. Moving the computer required that I basically redecorate. FUN! It's coming together. Isn't perfect yet, but it's nice to have a fresh perspective. It seems odd that something so small would make a big difference, but it does. I could use another lamp.
I don't have to tell you that we had another nice weekend, and now we've had a cool front and it feels like Actual Fall! We wore long sleeves and jeans to the corn maze (one goal accomplished: Shawn and I want to do MORE of these types of fun outings with the kiddos), and by the end of the evening we even needed sweaters. AND low temps are supposed to be in the 30s later this week. BRING IT! I need more pumpkin bread, more hot chocolate, and lots of Yankee Candles.
I've written this whole thing while my other (new) coworker has been talking to me through the cubicle wall. It's nice to have a buddy but sometimes I do need my whole brain to write things, even dumb blog posts like this one. I also just got up and walked around the building in the 50-degree morning. I feel 100% better about everything when I remember to do that. Maybe my mgr should try it.
Except I think I know why she's grouchy -- it's because it's Monday and she had to get out of BED, and she has a lot of TASKS to do at work today. And not enough time to do them. People demanding things of her. Same as the rest of us!! It's hard to feel sympathy when this is the reality.
Well. I don't want to sink into a crappy Monday. -Brisk clap!- I have rearranged my desk, did I mention it? In an attempt to alleviate what I still think is carpal tunnel in my left elbow, although a physical therapist has suggested otherwise (just in conversation, I haven't seen anyone officially)... I moved my computer out of the corner of my desk. I'm pretty sure I was extending the elbow in question farther than necessary so I could rest it on the desk. Very poor ergonimic technique. Now I don't have that option -- I must by necessity hover my wrists and elbows properly over the keyboard. I also have a nice footrest under my desk, so my short little legs can reach the ground. Moving the computer required that I basically redecorate. FUN! It's coming together. Isn't perfect yet, but it's nice to have a fresh perspective. It seems odd that something so small would make a big difference, but it does. I could use another lamp.
I don't have to tell you that we had another nice weekend, and now we've had a cool front and it feels like Actual Fall! We wore long sleeves and jeans to the corn maze (one goal accomplished: Shawn and I want to do MORE of these types of fun outings with the kiddos), and by the end of the evening we even needed sweaters. AND low temps are supposed to be in the 30s later this week. BRING IT! I need more pumpkin bread, more hot chocolate, and lots of Yankee Candles.
I've written this whole thing while my other (new) coworker has been talking to me through the cubicle wall. It's nice to have a buddy but sometimes I do need my whole brain to write things, even dumb blog posts like this one. I also just got up and walked around the building in the 50-degree morning. I feel 100% better about everything when I remember to do that. Maybe my mgr should try it.
Wednesday, October 16
Girl Scouts!
I've lost my motivation. All I feel like doing is reading stuff online, checking email to see if there's anything new from our Daisy Scouts troop leaders (EEE! Kate's going to be a Girl Scout and for some reason I've gotten really geeked about it!), and let's see, what else... NOT WORK.
I ordered her uniform vest and the official insignia items this morning. A TREFOIL pin! An American flag. A Troop number. I think I've said, I didn't love Girl Scouts myself - it was fine, but we weren't in it long enough to start to have feelings for it - but the history, the connection to my Mom, the international-ness of it makes me really, kind-of inexplicably happy that she wanted to join. I think I'm equally happy that the girls she talks about most as her new friends, K and C, are also joining. I hope we'll get to know them better. I am ready to invite them for playdates. Let's DO this girl thing!
Maybe it's because last night was the annual Cub Scout Halloween meeting/party. Balancing out all the black hooded capes and scary masks with a little Daisy color and girl-positivity, perhaps. By the way, in our school/collection of troops, Daisies don't sell cookies. Thank the Good Lord. That craziness will come in a year or two.
Okay, I suppose I have to get to it. Four articles and they all need to at least get started today. Ugh.
I ordered her uniform vest and the official insignia items this morning. A TREFOIL pin! An American flag. A Troop number. I think I've said, I didn't love Girl Scouts myself - it was fine, but we weren't in it long enough to start to have feelings for it - but the history, the connection to my Mom, the international-ness of it makes me really, kind-of inexplicably happy that she wanted to join. I think I'm equally happy that the girls she talks about most as her new friends, K and C, are also joining. I hope we'll get to know them better. I am ready to invite them for playdates. Let's DO this girl thing!
Maybe it's because last night was the annual Cub Scout Halloween meeting/party. Balancing out all the black hooded capes and scary masks with a little Daisy color and girl-positivity, perhaps. By the way, in our school/collection of troops, Daisies don't sell cookies. Thank the Good Lord. That craziness will come in a year or two.
Okay, I suppose I have to get to it. Four articles and they all need to at least get started today. Ugh.
Monday, October 14
October
I've been enjoying the private blog. There's no pressure to post. There wasn't MUCH pressure before, but I did hate to have the page linger with a week-old title on top. I've been too busy the last couple of weeks, though. Work has been pretty ridiculous. My days have had to be very planned out, down to the half-hour, to get all the important things done. I'm hopeful (but not convinced) that the worst of it is past.
Right now it's Monday morning, and the lights aren't turned on in the office yet. My little desk light is. Soon the other people will start arriving. I pray they'll turn on the AC; it was steamy when I arrived after a weekend of saving pennies, I guess. Today the task list is lighter so I feel like I can take a minute to write down a thought or several.
I went to yoga again last Friday. There's an older man in the class who is very scowl-y. His face is trying to ruin that class-time for me. I'm sure it's not intentional, but gosh, he makes me, personally, question myself. I don't know if he does the same to everyone, but he looks at me like, "What are you doing here?" ...I don't know! Geez, HELLO, Sir. Ugh. I think I only have 2 more "punches" on my purchase card, so that might be good. I'm wondering if a different studio would be better.
We had another really lovely weekend. (Or, I did, as I always feel compelled to clarify. Shawn did yardwork, and had to deal with a broken lawnmower halfway through. On the other hand, the weather was nice, so at least he got a dose of Vitamin D and fresh air. And on the other, other hand, it isn't like I was eating bon-bons; I did laundry, cleaned the bathroom, vacuumed, too. But these are the things that have to get done, yanno? It's all good, especially when the kids can entertain themselves a bit.)
Saturday was activities and errands -- I am still very proud of us for scheduling the kids' extra-curriculars at the same time Saturday morning, across the street from one another -- then I planted some fall pansies and mums. I was itching for a little new curb appeal. I'm pretty terrible at floral landscaping, but ya gotta give it the old college try. It makes me feel better to have the beds cleared out, at least. Shawn added a fun "graveyard" scene to make it Halloween-y. Then AJ went to a friend's house while I got my hair cut in the afternoon, and we all had a yummy pasta dinner on the patio at Macaroni Grill. Expensive-ish, but a beautiful night, well-behaved kids, and they ate their food. It's becoming less of a miracle when that happens.
Sunday I sang with the choir, then mostly piddled around the house after grocery shopping. I was wearing my tennis shoes, because I've discovered that piddling around on my hardwoods all day, in flip-flops or bare feet (my preference), makes my FEET HURT. So I wear tennis shoes in the house like an OLD LADY. Gah.
I made a Publix-brand frozen lasagna for dinner, and added it to the list of Dinners Everyone In Our House Will Eat! (At least, last night everyone ate it.) The kids were out in the yard with the neighbor-kids, until 6:30 pm. It is so nice. I have said before that our neighborhood is one of the reasons we are thinking of moving, but I have to keep in mind how rare it is, these days, for kids to be able to play out in the yard all day on a Sunday, with other kids close in age to themselves. Is it possible we would find this elsewhere? I don't know.
Speaking of the moving plans. Well, there's not much to report, other than we're starting to feel some, not pressure, but, urgency, to get the punch-list items done. Half the laundry room is painted. This week I really want to paint the bottom half, and the trim. I really want to get the deck sanded and stained, and the rails painted, right now while the weather's good. Then, our bathroom. Got to do that. I think if we accomplish those three big things, I'll feel pretty good.
Anyway, it's time to start work. I can't end before reminding myself how grateful I am that we live such a charmed life. I thought of that a few times this weekend. How lucky we are.
Right now it's Monday morning, and the lights aren't turned on in the office yet. My little desk light is. Soon the other people will start arriving. I pray they'll turn on the AC; it was steamy when I arrived after a weekend of saving pennies, I guess. Today the task list is lighter so I feel like I can take a minute to write down a thought or several.
I went to yoga again last Friday. There's an older man in the class who is very scowl-y. His face is trying to ruin that class-time for me. I'm sure it's not intentional, but gosh, he makes me, personally, question myself. I don't know if he does the same to everyone, but he looks at me like, "What are you doing here?" ...I don't know! Geez, HELLO, Sir. Ugh. I think I only have 2 more "punches" on my purchase card, so that might be good. I'm wondering if a different studio would be better.
We had another really lovely weekend. (Or, I did, as I always feel compelled to clarify. Shawn did yardwork, and had to deal with a broken lawnmower halfway through. On the other hand, the weather was nice, so at least he got a dose of Vitamin D and fresh air. And on the other, other hand, it isn't like I was eating bon-bons; I did laundry, cleaned the bathroom, vacuumed, too. But these are the things that have to get done, yanno? It's all good, especially when the kids can entertain themselves a bit.)
Saturday was activities and errands -- I am still very proud of us for scheduling the kids' extra-curriculars at the same time Saturday morning, across the street from one another -- then I planted some fall pansies and mums. I was itching for a little new curb appeal. I'm pretty terrible at floral landscaping, but ya gotta give it the old college try. It makes me feel better to have the beds cleared out, at least. Shawn added a fun "graveyard" scene to make it Halloween-y. Then AJ went to a friend's house while I got my hair cut in the afternoon, and we all had a yummy pasta dinner on the patio at Macaroni Grill. Expensive-ish, but a beautiful night, well-behaved kids, and they ate their food. It's becoming less of a miracle when that happens.
Sunday I sang with the choir, then mostly piddled around the house after grocery shopping. I was wearing my tennis shoes, because I've discovered that piddling around on my hardwoods all day, in flip-flops or bare feet (my preference), makes my FEET HURT. So I wear tennis shoes in the house like an OLD LADY. Gah.
I made a Publix-brand frozen lasagna for dinner, and added it to the list of Dinners Everyone In Our House Will Eat! (At least, last night everyone ate it.) The kids were out in the yard with the neighbor-kids, until 6:30 pm. It is so nice. I have said before that our neighborhood is one of the reasons we are thinking of moving, but I have to keep in mind how rare it is, these days, for kids to be able to play out in the yard all day on a Sunday, with other kids close in age to themselves. Is it possible we would find this elsewhere? I don't know.
Speaking of the moving plans. Well, there's not much to report, other than we're starting to feel some, not pressure, but, urgency, to get the punch-list items done. Half the laundry room is painted. This week I really want to paint the bottom half, and the trim. I really want to get the deck sanded and stained, and the rails painted, right now while the weather's good. Then, our bathroom. Got to do that. I think if we accomplish those three big things, I'll feel pretty good.
Anyway, it's time to start work. I can't end before reminding myself how grateful I am that we live such a charmed life. I thought of that a few times this weekend. How lucky we are.
Monday, September 30
Fresh air and family time
I got over my work-rage last week, I guess, but it remained a bit of a stressful few days. 4th grade is kicking our butts! "Our," meaning my family's, and also all of the 4th grade moms'. I'm glad it's widespread! There's a lot more homework than our kids are used to, and their teacher, whom they all love, has been on bed rest (pregnant) for the past 2.2 weeks, during which time they were given several tests and assigned a big science project. Timelines have been screwed up. Homework assignments not turned in. It's been rough, man.
On Tuesday, in addition, I realized I had completely borked up my left elbow. I think it was a carpal tunnel thing, radiating upwards. I was working on the aforementioned 600-line Excel file, for hours at a time, with my left fingers sort-of stretched out over the keyboard to reach both the numbers and the CTRL-key, and by Tuesday night I couldn't straighten my arm or turn it at all. Weirdness! Old-lady-ness! Creaky joints! It really hurt.
And by Friday, I think I was just run-down and I woke up with pain in the back of my throat, just like a cold coming on. I was already dosing up with Motrin and Advil for the elbow, but they didn't seem to be helping much with the aches and throat.
I don't know why I feel the need to document those things -- except maybe in the future, if I ever have such elbow pain again, I'll be able to find out how it finally went away** -- but there you have it.
However, a few excellent things happened, too, for which I am grateful.
Thursday afternoon, I had to cancel my Friday yoga plans with Ashley because of my elbow, but guess what? She was going to cancel, too, for work/other commitment reasons. Hoping we will go this Friday instead.
My parents arrived Thursday evening! AJ and KT were looking forward to it all week and I just loved hearing them say, "I can't WAIT 'til tomorrow! Grandmommy and Papa Joe will be here!!!" (And I was excited, too... I'm so lucky that I LIKE my parents, and I'm not just saying that because they are half the readers of my blog. Hee. I really do enjoy their company.)
Friday was my Mom's birthday so we went out to dinner and then had birthday cake. Well, actually I cut the cake, and then scooted off to a little wine-y get-together with the 4th-grade moms, at Ashley's house. Mom had made me promise not to change my plans. There were 6 of us and we gabbed and snacked until around 11:30. (Unfortunately, I was still slightly under-weathered, and the DayQuil mixed with the wine messed me up a bit. I slept sloshily and most of Saturday I felt off.)
But Saturday morning after activities, we managed a little picnic at the park. The fresh air was good for all of us, and a great excuse to leave the house. We whipped up some pasta salad and some tortilla wraps and everyone got a soda. :) Afterwards, I got laundry done and visited with the parents, while the kiddos played outside all afternoon. At one point, KT came in and whined, "I haven't been entertained ALL DAY." Hahahaha! She seemed fine to us! I let her watch some TV and I guess she got what she needed.
Sunday we went to Mass and to the grocery store, and then spent the afternoon in the kitchen. I made salsa, chocolate ice cream, spicy Chex mix and a chicken pot pie (with cream cheese!) that were all yummy. And we just talked and enjoyed each other -- the kids, again, were out in the fall neighborhood, running, breathing cool air, just like Norman Rockwell intended.
I do feel slightly terrible that Shawn was doing yard work all that time Sunday, and on Saturday he had been at a Cub Scouts obligation. I don't know how to reconcile those two days to him. What would he like best? That I take the kids next Saturday so he can do whatever he wants? That I hire a yard service so he doesn't have to do that ever again, particularly not while we have company? We could totally afford it... I just don't know. He just doesn't ever seem to get to relax on the weekends. I guess I don't relax toooo much, either, but it seems imbalanced.:/
**My friend Jackie from church used to work as a massage therapist at a chiropractor. She told me to massage two pressure points near the elbow that HURT when I first found them, but did help a LOT. She had me ice it for 20 minutes at a time, as well. Today it's perfect, no pain. I'm going to be more diligent about doing anti-carpel tunnel stretches every day. Might even massage those pressure points regularly. (Also for the throat: Listerine! Gargling!)
On Tuesday, in addition, I realized I had completely borked up my left elbow. I think it was a carpal tunnel thing, radiating upwards. I was working on the aforementioned 600-line Excel file, for hours at a time, with my left fingers sort-of stretched out over the keyboard to reach both the numbers and the CTRL-key, and by Tuesday night I couldn't straighten my arm or turn it at all. Weirdness! Old-lady-ness! Creaky joints! It really hurt.
And by Friday, I think I was just run-down and I woke up with pain in the back of my throat, just like a cold coming on. I was already dosing up with Motrin and Advil for the elbow, but they didn't seem to be helping much with the aches and throat.
I don't know why I feel the need to document those things -- except maybe in the future, if I ever have such elbow pain again, I'll be able to find out how it finally went away** -- but there you have it.
However, a few excellent things happened, too, for which I am grateful.
Thursday afternoon, I had to cancel my Friday yoga plans with Ashley because of my elbow, but guess what? She was going to cancel, too, for work/other commitment reasons. Hoping we will go this Friday instead.
My parents arrived Thursday evening! AJ and KT were looking forward to it all week and I just loved hearing them say, "I can't WAIT 'til tomorrow! Grandmommy and Papa Joe will be here!!!" (And I was excited, too... I'm so lucky that I LIKE my parents, and I'm not just saying that because they are half the readers of my blog. Hee. I really do enjoy their company.)
Friday was my Mom's birthday so we went out to dinner and then had birthday cake. Well, actually I cut the cake, and then scooted off to a little wine-y get-together with the 4th-grade moms, at Ashley's house. Mom had made me promise not to change my plans. There were 6 of us and we gabbed and snacked until around 11:30. (Unfortunately, I was still slightly under-weathered, and the DayQuil mixed with the wine messed me up a bit. I slept sloshily and most of Saturday I felt off.)
But Saturday morning after activities, we managed a little picnic at the park. The fresh air was good for all of us, and a great excuse to leave the house. We whipped up some pasta salad and some tortilla wraps and everyone got a soda. :) Afterwards, I got laundry done and visited with the parents, while the kiddos played outside all afternoon. At one point, KT came in and whined, "I haven't been entertained ALL DAY." Hahahaha! She seemed fine to us! I let her watch some TV and I guess she got what she needed.
Sunday we went to Mass and to the grocery store, and then spent the afternoon in the kitchen. I made salsa, chocolate ice cream, spicy Chex mix and a chicken pot pie (with cream cheese!) that were all yummy. And we just talked and enjoyed each other -- the kids, again, were out in the fall neighborhood, running, breathing cool air, just like Norman Rockwell intended.
I do feel slightly terrible that Shawn was doing yard work all that time Sunday, and on Saturday he had been at a Cub Scouts obligation. I don't know how to reconcile those two days to him. What would he like best? That I take the kids next Saturday so he can do whatever he wants? That I hire a yard service so he doesn't have to do that ever again, particularly not while we have company? We could totally afford it... I just don't know. He just doesn't ever seem to get to relax on the weekends. I guess I don't relax toooo much, either, but it seems imbalanced.:/
**My friend Jackie from church used to work as a massage therapist at a chiropractor. She told me to massage two pressure points near the elbow that HURT when I first found them, but did help a LOT. She had me ice it for 20 minutes at a time, as well. Today it's perfect, no pain. I'm going to be more diligent about doing anti-carpel tunnel stretches every day. Might even massage those pressure points regularly. (Also for the throat: Listerine! Gargling!)
Monday, September 23
Releasing Steam
You have to forgive me for this post in advance. I need to blow off some steam and my fingers are itching to POUND SOMETHING, which in this case happens to be my KEYBOARD. (ooohhh, so scary)
I think that PR is a fancy way of saying "SOMEONE DOING A LOT OF VERY MEANINGLESS AND IRRITATING WORK," but "NEVER THE PERSON WHO INSTIGATES IT." <<<< Official definition. I am sick to death of being the person that everyone asks to WRITE EVERYTHING. I mean, no.... grateful that they pay me to do something that comes naturally, etc. etc. but OMG. If one more person today sends me an email with bulleted things that need to be written, FOR THEM, by YESTERDAY, I'm going to throw something. And it's not just me. Every time there's a "PR OPPORTUNITY" we -- the peons, I guess -- have to do the writing, and the finding photos and the uploading thereof, and the sending out samples to whomever is asking for them, and the adding of the press release to OUR OWN website, too, and and and.
My company was given a "PR OPPORTUNITY" last week, naturally it's for October - last minute - and naturally the woman who called my boss said everything would be taken care of! We get a big ol' spread in their online magazine, plus 4 blog posts, plus social media to go with it! Awesome! Sounds like a great deal! Thank you very much and my boss signed us right up. And I KNEW... I knew it was too good to be true. No, it's not all provided for us, guess who is now being told she needs to write those 4 blog posts by yesterday?? Yes, that'd be me. On top of the 3 new assignments, one with an all-caps URGENT at the front of it, that my "other" manager handed down over the weekend. And the one stupid time-sucking assignment (uploading files) that my "actual" manager gave me that's due Wednesday. And let's just see, what else? A huge Excel file of 600 customer names that I have to rifle through manually, copy/pasting some additional columns in as I go, that will inevitably end with some of those same customers calling ME, unhappy with the outcome. And some introductory text to write by Wednesday for our product catalog, no pressure, and by the way, it's the same exact topic you've written four thousand times already, but could you do it in a UNIQUE way? This time? AGAGAHAHAHAHAHHh.
Today I am hating my job. Mondays, man.
I think that PR is a fancy way of saying "SOMEONE DOING A LOT OF VERY MEANINGLESS AND IRRITATING WORK," but "NEVER THE PERSON WHO INSTIGATES IT." <<<< Official definition. I am sick to death of being the person that everyone asks to WRITE EVERYTHING. I mean, no.... grateful that they pay me to do something that comes naturally, etc. etc. but OMG. If one more person today sends me an email with bulleted things that need to be written, FOR THEM, by YESTERDAY, I'm going to throw something. And it's not just me. Every time there's a "PR OPPORTUNITY" we -- the peons, I guess -- have to do the writing, and the finding photos and the uploading thereof, and the sending out samples to whomever is asking for them, and the adding of the press release to OUR OWN website, too, and and and.
My company was given a "PR OPPORTUNITY" last week, naturally it's for October - last minute - and naturally the woman who called my boss said everything would be taken care of! We get a big ol' spread in their online magazine, plus 4 blog posts, plus social media to go with it! Awesome! Sounds like a great deal! Thank you very much and my boss signed us right up. And I KNEW... I knew it was too good to be true. No, it's not all provided for us, guess who is now being told she needs to write those 4 blog posts by yesterday?? Yes, that'd be me. On top of the 3 new assignments, one with an all-caps URGENT at the front of it, that my "other" manager handed down over the weekend. And the one stupid time-sucking assignment (uploading files) that my "actual" manager gave me that's due Wednesday. And let's just see, what else? A huge Excel file of 600 customer names that I have to rifle through manually, copy/pasting some additional columns in as I go, that will inevitably end with some of those same customers calling ME, unhappy with the outcome. And some introductory text to write by Wednesday for our product catalog, no pressure, and by the way, it's the same exact topic you've written four thousand times already, but could you do it in a UNIQUE way? This time? AGAGAHAHAHAHAHHh.
Today I am hating my job. Mondays, man.
Friday, September 20
3rd Yoga class
Today the actual, scheduled yoga instructor led our class, and it was the best one yet (for me). It was no-nonsense, poses I knew, I felt more comfortable, yet still verrrry challenged, and the AC was on before class started so I didn't get as steamed up. Apparently the enjoyment of yoga for me depends very much on the temperature. But I was able to concentrate, stretch, do more push-ups than usual really relax in Savasana (or Shavasana? The internet spells it both ways), and there are poses I want to attempt/work on this week (for my own memory: fallen triangle, crane and side crane, and flipped Down Dog), so that next week I can attempt them in front of people.
The biggest challenge, really, is letting go of comparison to other people. It's a huge mental block if you let it linger. And you'll fall over faster if you don't focus on YOU. A little contrary to the Jesus-Others-You mentality that we're all told is correct (and it is), but on the mat, you just have to be in your own space, and do you own thing. That's why I've liked doing yoga in my own bedroom for all these years - it's impossible to compare yourself to others when there are no others there! But again, challenge is good when we do it gently and with kindness (the instructor said that today).
I was also glad there was no crying. :) But at the risk of getting totally touchy-feely on you, I am learning that you take what you need from yoga, and you GET what you need. Last week, I needed forgiveness. For me, for sassy last-week Kate, for being gentle as I was nervous and learning. This week, I needed a good stretch of my glutes, and to feel empowered, like I can DO THIS. And that's what I got.
Next week, I'm so excited, my friend Ashley asked to join me. Even though she and I have been friends for more than 4 years now, I still feel unusually happy when she asks me to do things, or acts like she "likes me." How silly is that? I have a friend. It's still surprising. I don't mean it in a pity-me way, just in a how-cool-that-this-has-worked-out way. :)
The biggest challenge, really, is letting go of comparison to other people. It's a huge mental block if you let it linger. And you'll fall over faster if you don't focus on YOU. A little contrary to the Jesus-Others-You mentality that we're all told is correct (and it is), but on the mat, you just have to be in your own space, and do you own thing. That's why I've liked doing yoga in my own bedroom for all these years - it's impossible to compare yourself to others when there are no others there! But again, challenge is good when we do it gently and with kindness (the instructor said that today).
I was also glad there was no crying. :) But at the risk of getting totally touchy-feely on you, I am learning that you take what you need from yoga, and you GET what you need. Last week, I needed forgiveness. For me, for sassy last-week Kate, for being gentle as I was nervous and learning. This week, I needed a good stretch of my glutes, and to feel empowered, like I can DO THIS. And that's what I got.
Next week, I'm so excited, my friend Ashley asked to join me. Even though she and I have been friends for more than 4 years now, I still feel unusually happy when she asks me to do things, or acts like she "likes me." How silly is that? I have a friend. It's still surprising. I don't mean it in a pity-me way, just in a how-cool-that-this-has-worked-out way. :)
Tuesday, September 17
Nicer
We had a better weekend, this past. Worked on Saturday, yes. Did the lessons and Cub Scouts and errands and laundry, and I think Shawn mowed the grass, bless him -- general running around. But Sunday we were determined to enjoy the day, after Mass.
We had "lunch" at Dunkin Donuts, which made the kids happy as you can imagine. When we got home, do you know what Shawn and I did? We changed clothes, I poured myself a Coke Zero, and we watched the Falcons game. Without driving anywhere! Without any (or minimal) interruptions from the kids, who were off playing outside with the neighbors! It was so quiet and calm in the den, and we just... watched the game! It was bliss. I told him, "Enjoy this 5 minutes, because you know it can't last much longer." I got up here and there; I think I was thawing something for dinner, and freezing a new batch of ice cream. (I am loving the ice cream maker! Hint: It works best if you use full-fat heavy cream, and whole milk. LOL)
But it did last, long enough anyway.
We had told the kids we'd go on a hike at 4:00. But 4:00 showed up and it was HOT. Too hot for hiking, in my opinion. We offered the pool instead and there was jumping up and down, and "you're the best mommy ever" if I remember correctly.
The pool was super cold, but Alex jumped right in without even testing it first (his new method of entering the pool). BTW, he Jumped In! He is finally, officially a SWIMMER. Complete with diving sticks and everything. Kate was all in, as well, no fear of the cold. I abstained from swimming, for once. It was too cold for me, and I saw a glimpse of my own mother, who gets teased by my father all the time (hello, both of you) for only swimming if it's "bathwater." Mirror, mirror, on the wall, I am my mother after all. :)
Everyone, however, stayed sweet, got along, smiled, soaked up the sun, and then I caught this moment as we were packing up to head home.
We had "lunch" at Dunkin Donuts, which made the kids happy as you can imagine. When we got home, do you know what Shawn and I did? We changed clothes, I poured myself a Coke Zero, and we watched the Falcons game. Without driving anywhere! Without any (or minimal) interruptions from the kids, who were off playing outside with the neighbors! It was so quiet and calm in the den, and we just... watched the game! It was bliss. I told him, "Enjoy this 5 minutes, because you know it can't last much longer." I got up here and there; I think I was thawing something for dinner, and freezing a new batch of ice cream. (I am loving the ice cream maker! Hint: It works best if you use full-fat heavy cream, and whole milk. LOL)
But it did last, long enough anyway.
We had told the kids we'd go on a hike at 4:00. But 4:00 showed up and it was HOT. Too hot for hiking, in my opinion. We offered the pool instead and there was jumping up and down, and "you're the best mommy ever" if I remember correctly.
The pool was super cold, but Alex jumped right in without even testing it first (his new method of entering the pool). BTW, he Jumped In! He is finally, officially a SWIMMER. Complete with diving sticks and everything. Kate was all in, as well, no fear of the cold. I abstained from swimming, for once. It was too cold for me, and I saw a glimpse of my own mother, who gets teased by my father all the time (hello, both of you) for only swimming if it's "bathwater." Mirror, mirror, on the wall, I am my mother after all. :)
Everyone, however, stayed sweet, got along, smiled, soaked up the sun, and then I caught this moment as we were packing up to head home.
.JPG) |
| Kiss of / Peace out. :) |
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