You'd do better to read the paper wrapper your lunch came in...

Reports from ya-ya ma are that AJ is getting along just swimmingly without us. Quite literally -- it sounds like they're swimming at least twice a day. He's hanging out with his cousins, eating and sleeping well, and waking her up, instead of me, at quarter to six AY! EM!

Desite that good news, I'm feeling all sorts of ennui, which is normal for this Longest Week Of The Year pre-vacation. I'm blah about work, not feeling like I even qualify to be doing some of the stuff I'm tasked with. I'm not yet motivated for trip-tasks besides laundry; I'd rather read my book. And yet I know that both work-work and home-work need to be ramped up before Friday OR ELSE. It's time to start stressing. (Why aren't I stressing?) I'd like to take trips to Barnes & Noble and TJ Maxx tomorrow at lunch, to ensure I have all the right gear. A new book light and a new swimsuit would both be handy. But ugh, what a pain, buying a swimsuit.

I'm still the same same same weight, height, and pale-skin-level as before the 30-Day-Shred attempt. I feel plllbbbttt about that, as well. Why didn't it work? Why couldn't I keep doing it after 30 stupid days? I don't look bad, per se, but I could look better. I've used my Target-brand self-tanning lotion 2 or 3 times but I'm hardly interested in smelling it for the little difference it makes.

The one thing I did get accomplished today was scheduling AJ's birthday party at -- Heaven forgive me -- Chuck E. Cheese. I know I shouldn't spoil him by granting that request, especially because I am not a fan of Chuck. But I AM a fan of hosted parties where I let the hired teenager run things and I write the check. And I'm also a fan of AJ, himself, and asked very sweetly. Last year we did a very non-commercial party at the park. It was awesome, and cheap. So I feel justified that this year we can do something a little bigger.

That's all I've got. Oh, also: Yatt has moved into the cubicle next to me. Should be interesting. She's grown on me a little since our last discussion. And I've vowed not to be a jerk about her on the blog. So unnecessary, spreading ill-will into the world. Still, though. One of the only people to ever merit her own category on helloself. I feel I should mention it.

Sleepaway

Next weekend we're dropping AJ off for his first summer vacation "alone" with his grandparents. I'm having little bursts of nerves about this, not at ALL for him, but for me. A week without my sweetheart boy?? It seems impossible, and impossibly long!

Of course on one hand, I'm sad that we're one of the hundreds of families having to juggle and schedule summer camps and daycare opportunities, due to the 2-income economy and my having a full-time job even in summer. Heh. Independently Wealthy, I wish we were! On the other hand, I'm extremely excited that he's going to have a real sense of summer Vacation, capital V, and thrilled that the parents are jumping at the chance to entertain him for that time period. They're planning some outings, some backyard barbecues, some pancake breakfasts, a fishing trip and some other fun projects that I know AJ will just love. And I keep telling them that it's OKAY if he sits around playing video games a little bit, too. I want him to know that lazy, nothing to do feeling. Remember it? ...Man, that's a trip in time on the way-back machine!!

I'm also happy that he'll get time to get to know his grandparents without me and DH as a filter. (He'll be going to the other grandparents' in July, too.) They'll have to work out conversations and personality nuances one-to-one, and that's what gels a relationship.

We've timed it so we'll drive down the following weekend to "pick him up," but really we'll be meeting all of them and heading over to our condo for our Beach Week. (Let's not talk about the Gulf.) My underlying goal was that he'd be rewarded for MISSING HIS MOMMY when I show up to spend another carefree week with him, myself! Ha ha.

The only detail I desperately need to work out is: WHERE is his White Blankie? (Almost six years old, but still loves/needs the Woobie.) It has been misplaced in the last 2 days, somehow, and I'm not sure how he'll fare without it, away from home. Eeeek. Dear Saint Anthony, please look around!!

More Quick Takes

Blog-post bullets. This is what it's come to. A friend told me yesterday, because she's taking an online art history course, that for the first time she is considering starting a blog. To "work on her writing." I had to laugh: That was my original goal, as well. Haaaaaa.

1. Friendship is good. I can't wait to see my bestest next month. Poolside, baby. We can talk books and nail polish and recipes and not much else, and that is OKAY BY ME.
2. Prayer is good. I have a few more things to pray for all of a sudden, and I'm excited about it. I need a reason to BOOST the MOMENTUM in that department. Hopefully won't be just a grocery-list, either. I've been thinking a lot lately about PRAISE and my lack thereof, in most typical praying I do. How to remedy?
3. Last day of Kindergarten today. I can't believe it. Mah baby. The Graduation was adorable, except when - you won't believe this - his teacher mis-pronounced his last name!! OMG. A mispronunciation of our last name is not pleasant. Thank goodness she also mispronounced 2 other students'. We parents banded together and joked about it but COME ON. Do you know these kids at all? Later DH and I decided okay, she probably rarely CALLS them by their last names. Still.
4. So, leaving work at noon, special last-day lunch with AJ, then a Target trip. Best day ever.
5. Babysitter tonight! We have a friend's son's college grad party to attend. I'm happy to have a new blouse and shoes to wear. Also happy about free food and drink. Don't know much about the grad, but who cares!
6. Road trip to Nanny's tomorrow! Annual lovely time away from the big stupid city. I can't wait to see that back porch again. And hug that wonderful lady I've come to love as my own.
7. I bought something just for me yesterday. A set of 5 magnets with funny/sweet sayings on them. They made me so happy in the store, I had to spend 20 bucks. One of them says, "Don't believe everything you think." Perfect advice. Another one says, "Everyone is somebody's Weirdo." Couldn't resist.

Happy Friday! More QTs here.

Minutae et cetera

It goes without saying that we've had 2 mornings now when KT pitches a big fit over getting dressed. Rendering the morning routine IMPOSSIBLE to handle by oneself, or at least that's the guilt-factor I'm feeling, which leads to I don't know I don't know I don't know about the Flex Schedule. Maybe not going to work. Maybe not fair of me to get up early, grab my coffee, and wave good-bye for DH to handle that crap every day. We both remember AJ not wanting to get dressed for what felt like a lonnnnng stretch, right around this age.

Biscuits.

(That's our new Curse-word Substitute, courtesy of "Kick Buttowski," a cartoon I can't believe Disney launched with that name.)

* * * * * *

I'm doing some research on energy healing for work, and as much as I enjoy the idea of mind-body-spirit connection and 'auras' and 'chakras' and all, I think I enjoy stumbling upon www.skepdic.com -- the Skeptic's Dictionary -- even more.

* * * * * *

I do not like Coke Zero, not even Cherry. I'm about to decide that Diet Dr. Pepper is the ONLY no-calorie soda worth drinking. I was not paid to say that.

* * * * * *

Kindergarten graduation tomorrow. And I really need it. I need a big reminder of why DH and I work hard at full-time jobs that are sometimes just bleh. Just.... bleh. We choose to do it because sending our kids to a school like this is a priority. So I'm grateful. I'm grateful.

* * * * * *

I'm really tired of a certain acquaintance's obsession with whole foods and organic and farmer's market. Good for her -- she read The Omnivore's Dilemma. And I agree with those ideas to some extent. But shut up.

It Would Require Early Mornings.

If I altered my schedule to accommodate the things I want to accommodate -- namely, swimming this summer and being able to pick up AJ during regular carpool next fall -- it would mean getting up even earlier than I already do, which is 5:45 a.m.

This is what I'm thinking: 6:30 am to 3:30 pm. FLEXTIME, baby.

To get showered, dressed and high-heeled (just kidding; I do not wear high heels) by 6:15, I'd need to get up no later than 5:30. Meaning the first Snooze Button Push would take place at 5:15 because heaven knows I need my Snooze! I think I could get the kids downstairs with breakfast in front of them before I left. In other words, I wouldn't have to skip seeing them altogether in the mornings, and that's a good thing.

AJ's been complaining more and more about having to go to After-care. I don't know why, exactly. His best friend is there, too, and they get snacks and playtime and MOVIES, even, if I'm later than 5:00 (which is almost never). Maybe it's just end-of-the-year ennui, which I had to explain to him yesterday when he said he's tired of going to school. I told him he's supposed to be.

Although Aftercare and 3:30 carpool aren't part of the equation this summer, having the time to swim in the afternoons would add infinite amounts of FUN to his vacation, and that's important to me, too. I feel like the kids need to have an element of "off-routine," within the limits of my still having a work schedule. It would be time to get used to the morning shuffle before actual school begins again.

What I'd have to sacrifice is the evenings from 10-11 p.m., because there's no way I could do very well with LESS sleep than I currently get. It's worth mentioning that I DO sleep between 10 and 11 most nights, on the couch... but I think this would need to involve some DEDICATED sleeping.

One other thing--I would have to rely on DH to drop off both kids, which might take a lot out of him. Some days it's a wrestling match to get one or the other of them out the door and buckled up. We're very wary of a Morning Mood. Still, it's an even exchange I guess, all him in the mornings, all me in the afternoons (the afternoons are sometimes hairy, too). Only sad thing would be us swimming without DH.

Would it be worth it? I read of women who do this kind of "flexing" all the time, and to them it's worth it. As I said, I have a mental THING going on with After-care. I LOVE the After-care director at AJ's school, and I know he isn't alone there -- a large portion of parents need After-care every day, just like we do in our current situation. But I fondly remember after-school time with my own Mom -- especially in high school when I had a LOT I needed to talk to her about. We had such a close bond (still do!) and might not have, if not for having had that time together every single day -- and I feel like it's one of the quintessential American Mom THINGS that I'm not getting to do, and it sort-of hurts me in my heart.

Obviously it requires a discussion with DH, but he has said he's always willing to help me with any flexible scheduling I can wrangle; it's a shame his company isn't as lenient with arragements like this. I'm presuming mine would be. But I would love to hear from anyone who has a thought. What do you think? Should I:

• Work 6:30 to 3:30 every day?


• Work 6:30 to 3:30 3 days a week, and send AJ to Aftercare 2 days?


• Forget it, stay in bed those extra 15!

We interrupt this broadcast...

We have had 2 full nights now with no pacifier, and one nap on Sunday.

The infamous "Invisible Blue-y," so named by AJ, I think, to distinguish it from another "Blue-y," disappeared rather conveniently at a party we attended over the weekend. (This particular Paci has a history of disappearace. It lived between the floor and the couch of my parents' living room from December 31 until around April!) I had been talking to some of the other moms at the party about needing to RID ourselves of this habit. MY habit, not necessarily KT's. I'm completely responsible. Paci-Fairy, Build-A-Bear, Something needed to happen. (In case you haven't heard this GENIUS idea, a friend of a friend took her 3-year-old to Build-A-Bear, kissed the pacifier, and handed it over to be sewn up with the heart and the stuffing into a brand-new bear! GENIUS.)

Then something did happen. A total accident, I swear: After a day's worth of playing, we couldn't FIND Paci when it was time to leave. KT cried and cried, but there was nothing we could do.

And she is doing fine so far. A couple of whimpers, but nothing that can't be deflected with a toy or some juice.


--Reporting from Mommyblogland.

7 Quick Takes Friday (because it's been a while!)

School's Almost Out for Summer edition!

1. I am contemplating a schedule change. This probably deserves a much longer post, but I think I want to alter my work schedule before the next school year. I realized late last month that I really don't want my kids to spend the entirety of their lives going to After-care. We see the other kids in our neighborhood playing outside when we pull into our driveway at 5:00 pm. It's just not fair that AJ doesn't get to do that. I mean, he DOES... they play outside at After-care... but... well, you know. All the Arguments. Again, it's probably more for MY comfort than for his, but I'm contemplating. Maybe I'll save the details and have something substantial for my next post. Wouldn't that be novel?!

2. Nearly had a panic attack this week about Money. Lots of things we want to do, like the Anniversary Trip next year, the New Car we'll probably need next year, Kitchen Cabinets/Countertops (please?), and then I thought, "ACK. What about when KT enters St. J's Catholic School?? I can't afford a TEN-thousand dollar payment! Ackackackack bring my smelling salts..." All this came about because I had to sign the form saying I'll pay for AJ's school next year. Took me a while to realize that, OH YEAH, I already pay that much over the course of the year, with AJ's tuition plus KT's daycare. Duh. Actually I think it will be a slight decrease when she gets to Kindergarten. Whew.

3. Except it will be double all the extra t-shirt fees, and books, and uniformsOMG and incidentals like the 2nd-grade charity bake sale and the 2x/year book fair. Yeesh. Money. Can't live with it, can't shoot it. Or something.

4. If your choices today were a) compose an e-newsletter, b) prep for a sales-y phone call tomorrow, c) research some scientific cancer news or d) make calls to sell ad space in your magazine... which would you choose? IKNOWRIGHT? Terrible choices.

5. I think we have AJ's summer schedule figured out. He'll spend a week-ish with my parents, right before we meet them down there on the oily Gulf Coast for Beach Week (or, Pool Week, as it were). And then in mid-July, he'll spend a week with DH's parents in Savannah. I think he's super excited about both. I am going to miss that kid like CRAZY when he's gone, I already know it.

6. Although I haven't written the check yet, I have thought I want us to join the Home Owners' Ass'n this summer, for use of the neighborhood pool. This may also inform #1 re: my schedule. Hmmm.

7. I was recently asked to help with the music for Vacation Bible School. It's during Beach Pool Week, however. AND there's the unfortunate fact of my job. Mornings from 8-12 kiiiinda wouldn't work. SO BUMMED. I adored VBS when I was a kid.

More Quick Takes at Jen's.

Finale

Well, we did lose a game. Tuesday night, actually. 28 to 15 or some crazy score like that. The kids took it well for the most part.

And LAST night, Wednesday, we sat down at the table at 6:00 pm, with mesquite-lime grilled chicken, steamed corn and garlic pasta. "What's this?" the kids asked, curious. "It's called Dinner," I said. "We haven't had one of these since April."

Or at least that's how it has felt.

By the way, I have been sick again, this time a cold, and it's kept me away from my 45-Day-Shred since Monday. I'm back at it tonight, and if I can just do Wed., Thurs, Fri, and Sat., I can call it done. Ridiculous.

Baseball Ready

Lordy. They told us that spring t-ball was going to be "more serious" than fall ball, but they didn't tell me I'd have to fend off rain and mud because heaven forbid we postpone the SACRED TOURNAMENT.

Despite it, I've gotten caught up in wanting to WIN. And somehow, our guys keep pulling it off. In truth, DH and I fully wanted our team to lose at first. (He may still, and part of me does, too.) We were/are both feeling a little s t r e t c h e d by the frequency and intensity. But you can't help fist-pumping when a 6-year-old makes a pop fly catch (and then zings it into the glove of the first baseman, for good measure. Hee.)! They're playing their little hearts out, and man, I hope we keep winning. It means a game every night this week, and 2 on Saturday, but... Emotions are high out there, folks. On every field there are LOUD cheers and CRACKS of the bat. Lovely sounds.

There's definitely a bond with the other parents, too. I've been looking for friends at our school, but maybe t-ball is where we'll really get connected with people. Such nice families; we're lucky to have been matched up so well.

We're very proud of AJ. His attitude has been great, even though he's playing boring ol' left field. He complained about that for 1 minute last night, poor little bunny. But every night, he runs out there and stands "baseball ready" and he swings hard and runs as fast as his legs will carry him.

It was perfect, Because...

Mother's Day is completely pressurized these days. It seems if you're not treated to an entire day at the spa, plus breakfast in bed, fresh flowers and dinner at a French restaurant with kids, pressed and washed, sitting on either side of you, you've not been treated right. Or at least that's what they would have you think.

I'll challenge that. My Mother's Day started as all my other days start, with AJ notifiying me that it is 7:05, Mommy... It's 7:06. Are you getting up now? It's 7:07. I dragged out of the cozy comforter. KT was awake so we plucked her out of her crib before heading downstairs. Being careful not to trip on the 14-year-old dog who makes it his mission to be first to the bottom every time.

A beautiful photo frame with a picture of me and the kids greeted me in the kitchen, along with a sweet card and a gift card to the spa. (DH actually wanted me to grumble on my way down the stairs, so as to surprise me more. And that went according to plan ;)...) But otherwise, things proceeded as normal. Cereal, hot chocolate, coffee, then I made breakfast, I went to Wal-Mart after DH got up, I put groceries away, I even swiped down the bathroom. I sat outside while AJ played with the neighbor kids. He and I planted some caladiums in the front yard. I played pretend Ben 10 with him, which you know I don't really love.

But all those things make me a Mom, don't they? While I could have felt sorry for myself (and at moments, I admit I did), the bigger picture is that I get to be the exact person, in the exact role, that I wanted my whole life. Sweeter still that I was born to be in this role, with these children and this husband. The truth of that was a gift to me yesterday, even as I made my own bed.

Also, it's been a really long time since I had a day without a single committment or any scurrying around! I toodled around Wal-Mart (I was alone, after all; another gift). I puttered around the house getting things done -- even the long-overdue photo album. I cooked a dinner for once! Put it in the crock pot for later. We went for ice cream, and then to Mass, and best of all, the kids played happily for 45 minutes while I boiled the pasta and unloaded the dishes. GIFT! (Usually they cling.)

KT's got a new word: Because. She doesn't use it correctly, but she says it a lot. It's so cute. She says something like, "Guess what?" Then, "Because... See my band-aid, Mama?"

My day didn't make sense either, in one way. But it was perfect Because it was.

Day 25, T-ball, and The Church band

It's at the point now where I have to keep Shredding (hate it as a Verb) because THANK GOD it's nearly over. Not that I'm planning to quit exercising, but I think most people who do this particular workout for the full 30 days get SICK OF IT after a while, amiright? (Please say I'm right.) I am jonesing for my Yoga/Pilates DVD. On the other hand, I am scared that I won't keep up the momentum, will fall right back onto my spot on the couch, with a handful of M&Ms to fill the Jillian void. I don't WANT that, but that's what has traditionally happened, so I expect it to. I'll do my best to fight it, but that'll be new for me. I am really grateful that DH has kept up his workouts since January. 4 days a week, without fail. It's been impressive.

So far I'm not noticing a great physical difference in the place I want to see a difference. My shoulders seem to be getting slight definition (be still my heart, if I someday get to see my collarbones for the first time in my life!), but the post-babies tummy is still a post-babies tummy. Oh well, I suppose I'll have to pretend to feel good about my heart health. HA. Everyone knows that deep down we just want to look nice in a tankini. Okay, enough of this nonsense.

* * *

T-ball tonight. It's the second game in our tournament series. We lost the first 22-0, did I tell you? It was a sad situation.... for the crazy parents/coaches who think this is IMPORTANT or something. DH and I are of the opinion that if the kids are having fun and learning the basic rules, it's ALL GOOD. In contrast, the head coach went to the ballpark last night and the night before, when we had off-nights, to SCOUT the COMPETITION.

Kee-razy. I think I mostly like T-ball because it means I don't have to plan dinner on those nights.

* * *

We had Date Night last weekend. Went to hear one of DH's all-time favorite bands, The Church. It was the last stop on their 30th Anniversary tour. Thirty. Years. OfRockandRoll. Pretty amazing. Maybe you don't remember the Church; they only really had 1 hit in the U.S., "Under the Milky Way," which I'm sure you'd know if you heard it. My only memory of that song from high school is being about 15, and at a party where all the lights were low, and I knew someone was drinking beer and shouldn't be, and I felt uncomfortable and unsure. So I just stared quietly at VH-1, where the blue, watery-looking video was playing.

I never knew anything about their other music until I met DH, but when he put one of their songs on a mix CD for me early in our relationship (a mix CD! how quaint!), called 'Almost With You,' I was hooked. I've seen them twice before, and we both agreed it was one of -- if not the -- best show(s) we've ever seen. Not just of The Church, but of any band. (I feel like I say that after every concert I've seen in the last 10 years. Bon Jovi, U2, Billy Idol...) It was a small venue, and they chatted with the audience -- literally bantering with people between songs -- and there was this enormous mutual respect going on. Because they've been around so long, the band members have come to this profound gratitude for their fans, I think -- who've stuck by them through the requisite breakups, overdoses, and comebacks. And the fans... well, the type of music they play has a lot to do with fan loyalty, I think. It's deep, thought-provoking, with intelligent lyrics and memorable, but complicated and sometimes dark melodies. I think it just grabs hold on a deeper emotional level than a lot of music, so the fans are much more connected.

One thing we loved was the audience. Someone commented to me before the show started that "the guys have all gotten so OLD!" meaning the band. But I looked around at the fellow concert-goers... uh, yeah. If you give a flip about this band, you're pretty much old. The show started exactly at 8:30, as promised (OLD). They did 3 encores, but we were home before midnight the way God intended.

It was really great, and we're both still on concert-high, where all we want to listen to is The Church. I love that. What's the latest show you've seen?

My Dog Ate My Homework

You'd think as an editor slash writer, I could come up with headlines for my own blog. But I'll admit: I've always had trouble with headlines. Even professionally.

It was all I could think of, because this is going to sound like an excuse, but I'm not thinking of it that way. I skipped my workout last night. We had a 4pm art exhibit at school, an unexpected Tball practice, and my in laws arrived yesterday. Dinner was at 8 pm. Kids went to bed at 9.

I've decided "30 consecutive days" is just not practical for... well, for anyone really. But particularly not for me. So I had to skip last night. (I've only skipped twice during this thing, plus the 3 days I was sick.) I don't workout if it's past 9:00 before I can attempt to change clothes.

However, I'm still in the MINDSET of "30 consecutive days," which is a change for me. I'm planning to workout tonight as if I were still on-track. In all the times I've tried before, one slip has led to a complete fall off the wagon. It was, 'Oh, now I'll never finish... it's over. Might as well not even keep trying."

This time, I just change my mental day-counter and continue. So today becomes Day 20 and I'm still on my health kick. Or, I should clarify -- my fitness kick. Because the strawberry pie I made last week (even though it's pretty low in calories) isn't exactly helping my health. Still, a fitness kick is a good kick to be on. I'm happy about it.

Home

I'm working at home today. Oh, working at home, how I have missed you so!! I love sitting next to my kitchen window, with only the QUIET sounds of Napoleon snoring and my dryer finishing a load of whites -- nothing to disturb me! I'm writing an article about going green today, so I've got all the lights turned off, the blinds open, and the appliances unplugged. (Well, not ALL of them, but the ones I can unplug.) I get up every once in a while with purpose. To go swipe down a bathroom or let Puppy out -- not to idly walk to the restroom. I am getting a lot done without the stupid phone or inane chatter to interrupt me.

Home, hommmmmmmme! It's too bad we spend so little time here.

Speaking of home, one of my dumb insecurities was relieved last night during Book Club. I have been thinking a lot about my 1986 kitchen cabinets and ugly off-white Formica countertops. They embarrass me. So, while looking covetously at the hostess' beautiful granite, I came right out and asked, and guess what? Neither girl in attendance could recall what my cabinets look like. Nor have they ever thought, "el-e-e's kitchen is ugly." My longtime friend Melissa said, "You know what I notice about your house? The pictures of your kids. And the way it always smells good."

I tell myself these things, but it's so nice to hear them being spoken.

Home is where the heart is, it's true. And that's a serious cliche of a transition sentence, but I'm glad to be here today. One final reason: A florist delivery man just left my front doorstep. He dropped off a dozen roses from my Darling Husband, with whom I celebrate 9 years today. What a happy anniversary for me!

Gratitude check

--- Whew. That was rough. I didn't eat for 2 days. I supposedly lost 4.5 pounds. I am grateful that's over, and REALLY grateful that I have a husband who took care of me and handled the household while I was sick and useless!

--- I am still loving T-ball. Probably more than the T-ball player, himself, at this point. Last night's game, although it was at 7 pm (LET ME RESTATE: TOO LATE FOR 5-6 YR-OLDS!), was amazing. These kids have finally come together as a team, each one doing his or her part, playing with and FOR each other. They still fall over their feet sometimes, or play in the outfield dirt -- it's still Little League after all -- but they also score their first home runs. Not AJ, but his teammate MC, one of the older boys on the team who works really hard and LOVES baseball. SMACKED one over the fence. His Dad jumped up and down. Team Mom opened the dugout door and all the other kids ran to home plate to congratulate him as he came home. Big moment! It. Was. Awesome. I nearly cried for a kid who's not even my own! (Am nearly crying now, typing it up.) It's just enormously fun, watching kids grow up.

And P.S. opposing team coaches: Trash-talk is not cool at this age. Come On. DH tells me that the kid standing on the pitcher's mound (who wasn't pitching - this is coach-pitch baseball, and DH is our pitcher) was saying all kinds of rude things about each of our batters. "Oooh, bummer, a GIRL." when our pink-helmeted Caroline was up, and "Oh look, a 2-year old!" at AJ's turn. NOT COOL, coaches. There's no place for that crap in wholesome family t-ball. Rrrr. Mama Bear.

--- The weather. Finally spring. Last night it was 74 beautiful degrees for our game. Perfection.

--- Quiet week at work so I can be sick, and now in the last part of the week, accomplish some important lunchtime errands. Sigh..... errands. Oh well, grateful I have them.

Derailed

Of course. Of COURSE the one time I get really, really motivated and want to DO THIS THING to the nth degree, I get sick.

I did Day 12 yesterday, but that was right before I began throwing up etcetra (TMI, sorry), so no suprise, I didn't even finish it. And I'm unsure if I'll be able to do it tonight, either. I haven't been able to eat much of anything besides crackers and Ginger Ale and feeling generally weak.

Dammit. I was going to DO 30 days straight! Oh well. I'll be tacking 2 days on to the end, I guess. So now it's May 7 toward which we're counting down.

Bah.

The difficult things I do

Day 9 was hard last night. I didn't wanna. Luckily, the 20 minutes goes much faster the more you do this stinking workout, but I will admit last night I was whiny before getting started.

Not to worry -- I GOT R DONE. I hate Level 1.

At least yesterday's job task was out of the ordinary. I am planning a small "fashion" spread in our little women's wellness magazine, so I had to go shopping. (Had to.) I like a day where I'm not in the office, but am doing work. Especially one that involves the mall!

But it is difficult for me to spend money like that. And even though it's the company's money, which I kept telling myself -- you're spending someone else's money; shop like you're NOT YOU, pretend you're [my friend who's a good shopper]; don't worry, your budget is padded for this -- I still had to use my own credit card. Which DH had JUST paid off the night before. It hurt a little. Especially when USAA called my cell phone as I was driving back to the office -- to make sure all those charges weren't fraudulent. HA!! They're not used to me spending nearly $300 at a pop.

I did find an $80 Kenneth Cole blouse on major sale for $20 -- and an awesome pair of $80 shoes to match -- so guess what, I will be keeping those after the photoshoot. Heh. That's the upside of using my own credit card. I just won't turn that particular receipt in! (Hey, I HAD to try the shoes on, anyway. Shoe departments get particularly suspicious if you buy a pair without trying them on.)

8 Days A Week

I have been keeping a secret from you. It's not a big deal, but it is, kinda. I haven't kept it from everyone, just this particular space. Guess I just haven't been ready to reflect on the whole situation yet. Sometimes if you think too much -- more than 140 characters, for instance -- you ruin it.

Here it is:

I've done Level 1 of the frickinfrakkin 30 Day Shred every day for 8 days. I swore to myself I wouldn't post anything about it here until I'd gotten through a full 8 days -- don't know why I picked that number, maybe because I knew I wouldn't be able to hold out any longer than that.

EIGHT. DAAAYYYYYYYS, Y'ALL!!!!!! Maybe it doesn't sound like much to you, but me? Working out 8 days in a row without fail? Is a pretty significant accomplishment.

I've been doing it mostly at night, after the kids go to bed. It's not that hard to fit in Jillian's 20 minutes; I don't know why I thought it was, before. I still get to watch my weeknight shows (ahem, fall asleep on the couchevenduringthefinal6episodesofLOSTOMG!!) and get to bed by 11:00-ish. Last night I managed to make AJ's lunch and fold a load of laundry, as well. On Sunday, I did it in the morning, both kids underfoot, and guess what? They didn't care. AJ did it with me, actually. And then, since I wasn't doing it again until Monday night, I felt so grateful that I had "a long break." HA! My brain has been scrambled.

My endurance is improving. Those cardio butt-kicks? Easy-peasy. Although last night I tried to use larger hand weights (5 lbs each) and ... uh, no. I'll stick with 2.5 for now. Heh.

I'm pretty sick of Level 1, but determined to do it for TEN DAYS and then switch, because Level 2 is going to be such a welcome relief. I'm actually looking forward to feeling SORE on Day 12, after Level 2's inaugural run.

I'm hopeful that there will be visible results, but I also know to keep my expectations in check. I am counting calories too, but not being very strict about it. (Last night's jelly bean overdose as an example. These modern jelly beans from Starburst and Jolly Rancher, my goodness! So yummy! So soft!) My long-term plan is to FINISH this 30 days, to ACCOMPLISH a fitness goal for once in my life, and then rotate in more yoga and pilates. Maybe walking/jogging. Maybe even have a rest day. Mostly I want to be beach-ready. I have hated myself in my bathing suits the last 3 beach trips.

So, that's it. Health kick!

Tending

Something I notice is that when I see the lady who tends all the plants in our building, I feel a little jealous of her. She's quiet, unassuming, and walks around with her watering can and spray bottle, in a beige uniform shirt and work boots.

I used to get this same feeling when, on a weekday, I would see landscaping people in people's yards, or on the grounds of a corporate building. Especially if they were women. Tending little pansies and peonies in the middle of a Wednesday -- imagine! What a pleasant life that must be, I think.

The irony is that my Career Skill Set does not include plant-tending. I've killed many a houseplant and even some in the yard, accidentally, over the years. (I think it's because I don't have TIME to tend them properly, but you could argue it's a real-live black thumb.) I also don't do any of our yardwork at home; I leave it to DH. I babysit, he tends the garden.

Anyway, I think being a plant-tender/landscaping assistant would be a pleasant existence. "Touch the earth every day," is a simple living mantra I've liked. Maybe it's my farming roots calling to me.

What's something completely surprising that you think you'd enjoy?

Perfect Easter

For me, it was perfect.

We woke up early, AJ rushing downstairs to find the Bunny's treasures, and me whispering, "Wait! Wait for everyone!" behind him, as I watched the adults (Mom and Dad came up to stay with us) stumble into their pants and rub their eyes. Hee. The rest of us caught up and the kids marveled at all the CANDY. Admittedly, there wasn't as much as some years; the Bunny tried to restrain herself in light of all my Jamie Oliver talk. Pinwheels, a frisbee, a book or two, stickers, and Hex bugs rounded out their baskets.

But chocolate for breakfast is totally allowed on this one day of the year. (In fact, I was so lenient that KT ate chocolate all day. We'd find her trolling the plastic eggs looking for more treats, at various quiet times during the day. She used our busy kitchen duties to her full advantage and found a lot of times to sneak away.)

After that -- and seriously, no real breakfast -- we went back upstairs to get ready for 9:00 a.m. Mass. We did this last year, and pulled it off, so we thought we'd try it again. Easter miracles, indeed -- we made it with plenty of time to spare, no meltdowns, and found both parking and an empty pew into which no usher attempted to squeeze any more than the 6 of us. I was feeling guilty for the luxury of comfortable seating the whole time, but... eh. If the usher isn't aware that he could seat 2 more parishioners, Not Really My Problem. The kids were even well behaved.

We had two funny things happen during Mass. One was by our own kid. KT, at one point before Communion but after the readings I think, said aloud, "I weady to go home now." Clear as a bell. I don't think anyone heard her but the folks directly near us, but it had us giggling. And the second was during the Consecration. We had just sung, "Christ has died, Christ is risen, Christ will come again!" when another baby on the other side of church shouted, "YAYYYY!" I mean, right in rhythm. The priest actually had to stop and calm his own giggles for that one. He smiled and said, "AY-MEN." It was awesome. Made the whole church happy.

I whispered to DH during Mass that I Wanted to Take Pictures afterwards, out in front under the cherry trees. Because he needs a preemptive warning, otherwise he'll rush off to the car toute de suite. I'm all for hanging around to see if there's anyone who wants to chat with us after we leave Mass (there never is) but he's OUT the door. Heh. It doesn't bother me (parking IS sort of difficult there) but think it's funny. Anyway, we took some pictures that, if I do say so myself, turned out beautifully. We found our cars and headed home where the front-yard egg hunt awaited.

Fast forward to the cooking. I had planned a simple but nice Easter dinner. Mom and I tottered around the kitchen from about 11:00 until we served at 3:30, but it was so nice. We were able to kind-of cook one thing at a time so it didn't feel rushed at all. AJ was oblivious, working on his new Word Search puzzle book. DH and my Dad did some work out in the yard, which I know tired them out. Maybe for them it wasn't exactly the Perfect, relaxing Easter Sunday, but still. (They were out of my kitchen, which was helpful. Thank you, dear hardworking men!) I was worried that since KT was so busy eating chocolate and hadn't napped, we'd have a meltdown right at serving time. Didn't happen. She managed just fine, ate lots of corn and ham, and didn't even break the Lenox plate I let her use. We ate:

Honey Baked Ham
Mashed Potatoes
Corn on the Cob
Sweet and Sour Green Beans
Deviled Eggs
Dinner Rolls (from frozen, are you kidding?)

and Strawberry Shortcake for dessert. Dinner was slow, and conversation lively. I like that. I don't like when holiday dinners are over in fifteen minutes, all that work gone with barely enough time to acknowledge it.

We cleaned. Again, it was enjoyable, and comforting, to stand there with my Mom washing, me hand-drying, playing with my wedding pretties. :) I love that we went ahead and used the good china and silver. I was inspired by the simple minded suburbanite to attempt to create some kind of little legacy for my kids. I hope it worked. Afterwards, we sat down with a glass of something to drink (white wine for me, Dr. Pepper for Mom), and after I put KT to bed -- At 6:30 p.m., another miracle -- we could just reflect on what a lovely day it had been.

I just wanted to record all that. A Major Holiday so stress-free and easy is truly a treasure I want to remember.

New (somewhat ranty, somewhat linky) Things

I've/we've been doing some new things. Starting with the most important and ending with the least:

1. Going to Confession. Well, I did it once. Last week. I had been kinda hoping to get to go to our parish's Reconciliation Service, but it was on a Monday night at 7:00 pm and I didn't see how I could get the whole family there, or even just myself and AJ, and get him home by bedtime. I know I need to start going again because AJ's first confession LOOMS in 2nd grade! Luckily (or not), the Music Director called and, whoops! He needed a cantor at the last minute, and couldn't I come step in for him? I think God might have wanted me there, no? Or, heard me thinking, "I wish I could go..." and found a way to Make It Happen. Thanks, God! So anyway, it was a long wait in line even though they had 15 priests there to help, and the confession itself was your run-of-the-mill "Impatient with spouse and children, Don't always get to church every Sunday, Say a Rosary for penance" kind of confession. I went back and forth being nervous and not caring, although I can't go anywhere NEAR a penance service without crying just a little. It's all so holy! And emotional! I love it, in a way. I enjoyed imagining all the sad, guilt-ridden little prayers and wishes of all the different people whispering to various priests, prayers rising up into the air and then being gently blown away into the clean, clean air. It's nice imagery. (And then there's the annoying "Rules" about going once a year, and the "Why don't all the other Christians have to?" thoughts. Heh. It's a constant conflict, Catholicism.)

2. Going to Urgent Care. And seeing my baby boy have to deal with something that he didn't expect. Something that embarassed him (an ugly rash and accompanying set of big ol' blisters on his little cherubic face, poor thing). Something that he had to learn to explain to his friends without breaking down because they're thinking, if not saying outright, "OMG, what IS that?" It's been a learning experience for us both. Mommy learning to accept that he's going to get hurt in this life, and him learning (hopefully) to be brave, to not listen to what others say/think about him, and to accept people even when they have weird growths on their faces. Man. Heavy stuff.

3. Watching a whole lot of Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution. Well, I mean it's only been broadcacst twice, but I'm smitten with the show. And I'm posting about it because all of you guys should watch. For one thing, who doesn't love Jamie's accent?! He is a cutie pie. It's been eye-opening and mirror-pointing, in that I've realized just how much CRAP I actually feed my own kids on a daily basis. I know I'm much less of a food a**hole (hat tip, Kristen) than most of the mom-bloggers I read. I sent AJ to school with ABCs and 123s (the orange ones) for lunch today, along with a Little Debbie Oatmeal Creme Pie, okay? And I do that regularly. He eats Oscar Meyer bologna. (Baked) Cheetos. Trix yogurt. (He also eats fruit every day, just so you're not calling DFCS on me, righteous food a-holes!) HOWEVER. I want to try to be better about all this. I'm really, really trying to serve the kids more fruits and vegetables, and my mission over the next few months is going to be to start trying them out on some new meal options. This, for instance. For another thing, I'm trying to substitute, in my mind -- on nights when I want to just take the easy route and order a pizza, I'm trying to do a fruit/crackers/cheese dinner instead. As long as you're reading about it, a great ranty link about this subject (and others) is at supercool Rita Arens' blog today. AMEN!! But still. This topic has been in the forefront of my brain for the last 3 weeks.

4. One final New Thing. I cleaned out my sock drawer. Remember? From the to-do list How many weeks ago?? It's done. That's new.

History repeats itself

The lovely and articulate Arwen posted yesterday about how we love our children differently, because they are different little people, after all. The part that rang truest for me was about how we, as parents, are in a different time in our lives when each child is born, so naturally we notice and appreciate the kids' traits in different ways. (Think I could use that word one more time?? Different!)

But ON THE OTHER HAND. Wow, are all kids the same when it comes to toddler tantrums. We've been seeing KT's dark side lately -- more specifically, I've been seeing it. She doesn't seem to wind up to eleven as much for her Daddy -- and it's eerily similar to when AJ was a whiny, fit-pitching 2 (and 3 and 4) year old.

Last night, let's see, what set her off first? I wouldn't give her an M&M before dinner. Right. And then it was, "Juuuuuuuice. I wanna juice." And 30 seconds later, "NO JUICE. [hits table for emphasis]" And then the wailing and whining began in earnest, for no reason, and continued all through dinner. We took her upstairs for a serious, In Your Crib Time-Out, but even that didn't stop her. It was just one of those nights, I guess. She got mad that I took her saggy, falling off diaper completely off. I think she wanted to do it herself. She got so pissed off during her bath that we removed her, barely washed, and put her to bed with no stories.

I know it's all minor, and thanks to my being in a different place in life, I have better perspective on it than 3 years ago, when I was convinced AJ was posessed by the devil. I mean, yeah I still get worked up by it, but it doesn't drive me to tears (or hasn't yet). Aside: I nearly melt after she's had a good crying jag and gets those hiccupy, short little sniffling spells. Hhhh-hhh-hhaaaaaaa. So cute. And sad.

But my, how history repeats itself.

Sorting out what's in my head

It's not wasting time when your brain needs the relief of blogging. Getting it all out, out, OUT!

I have one hour before I leave for my lunch break. During that break I'm going home to do a little cleaning. We have weekend guests coming (KT's favorite UNC SHAAAAANE!), and I haven't been to the grocery store yet this week, plus we're getting a new roof put on the house tomorrow (insurance is paying, score!) and have to prepare somewhat tonight, plus plus. Whatever other required tasks (plenty).

Such as: KT's class is learning about toothbrushing this week, and requested that we send it a spare clean toothbrush, and a photo of her brushing her teeth. Um. If I had time to go somewhere and print photos, I wouldn't be ONE YEAR BEHIND on my own albums. I opted NOT to participate in that activity, and I'm sorry about it, but Lordy. Make a big trip to Walgreen's to print one photo?! Can't do it. (Guess we need to get a photo printer for our computer now.)

So it's crazy, as usual.

I'm trying not to freak out and continuously note how crazy it is, but to just take these things one at a time and know they are part of a full, rich, blessed life.

(...Yeah, right. You all know good and well I'm flustered a little bit.)

But I'll tell you what I've decided: Having a T-ball schedule is somewhat of an anchor -- a comfort, even. I like looking at the practice calendar, which is planned out until MAY. In my own life, I'm never "planned" that far ahead! And at least on T-ball nights, we have a Plan. I can serve a quickie dinner and have a very logical reason --no guilt-- in doing so. If it's a game, I know I'm going to be on the bleachers for 1.5 hours. There is a nice grounded feeling with that -- and it rules out having to squeeze in chores. Sorry, can't - I'm at the ballpark! If it's a practice, KT and I will play for a while while the boys go out, then I'll put her to bed. Sometimes I have five whole minutes to myself, and I'm usually pretty sure they'll bring me a dessert or a drink from Dairy Queen when they come home.

In fact, as I was typing this, I got a call from the T-ball coach and it reminded me that there's a practice tonight. I had forgotten. ?!!! What was I saying about anchored, comforted? Hahahahahaaaaa.

Life just goes so fast, sometimes. Good THING I blog it, or it would be lost forever in a memory blur.

xo Kisses! xo

My fatal mistake was making it all public

That list. It's sitting down there mocking me. Stupid, stupid me to get so ambitious out here in the open where everyone can see! Monday was a fail, right? Then Tuesday morning, I woke up at 5:00 a.m. to puke. (Oh, hello there! Got your attention didn't it?) I felt better by noon, stayed careful by having broth and Sprite for lunch. Tuesday evening, KT puked all over the couch. And then twice in her bed. The parents' gold-medal event is always Puke Patrol in the middle of the night right? We went in there like a well-trained team -- he handled the sheet-changing, I handled the kid-clean-up, wham-bam, back into bed in 10 minutes or less. Annnnnnd... Wednesday, AJ's school nurse called and DH had to pick him up. Puke again! Which is how I find myself working from home with him today. What a week.

I guess the photo albums are going to have to wait, huh?

AJ and I are going to work for a while (he's on the Mac, I'm on my work laptop, on opposite sides of the kitchen table - cute!), I hope he'll do some coloring -- he's been really into coloring this little comic book lately -- and we'll probably head to Wal-Mart for a few essentials (LYSOL WIPES) later today.

I'm just thankful it's a little stomach bug that seems to go away, and not H1N1. Since we never did get our shots.

What're you doing today?

Monday fail

I did none of the things on my list. Wait, I read a chapter of my book. Felt crappy due to a lingering -- impending? -- cold, and just went to bed early. Hoping to make the salad quick-like tonight before dinner. Sock drawer, bills, and laundry... well, thank goodness for DH doing laundry. :) Still. Gotta have goals.

Just don't sit down

Monday
check bills
make black bean salad for Tues. dinner
yoga, book

Tuesday
bath night/vacuum downstairs
organize sock drawer (yes, seriously)
laundry
yoga, book

Wednesday
vacuum upstairs
put photos in photo album (1 year behind OMG)
yoga

Thursday
more photos/laundry
yoga?
Project Runway

Friday
yoga, book

If I can keep from sitting down on the couch all week, I'll be fine.

Lent again

I'm surprised that the only previous blog post about Lent that I could find was this one. I feel like I write about it every year, but I've been combing through my categories and finding nothing. At any rate, it's our first Lent with a child who is learning what Lent is. It means we have to actually practice it, ahem.

AJ came home on Mardi Gras saying his only homework was to choose something to give up for Lent. I thought it was odd that they're still mostly teaching the "give up" theory of Lent, when all we adults hear these days is, "It's not a diet; do something MORE, don't just give up chocolate."

Well, I gave up chocolate. AJ decided he's giving up his DS, which, if any of you has a 5 year old boy, perhaps you know what a MAJOR sacrifice this actually is. And did you also know that Lent is 53 days this year? We counted. I am already impressed with him for even thinking of it. I hope it doesn't come back to bite me this Saturday with a big WHINE FEST. I gave up the chocolate because I thought it only fair for me to give up something tangible, and DIFFICULT, that he can witness. DH gave up Vault, by the way -- his first "give up" too, as a lifelong non-Catholic who is now raising Catholic kids. Bless him.

But the other thing I want to give up is Wasting Time. It's directly related to my Monday and Tuesday -- I was feeling unusually listless at work, unable to start any of my projects, flipping windows in IE with plenty to do but no place I wanted to go. I know a lot of people give up the entire Internet, or Facebook, or blogging, but I can't really go there. I have to be on FB for my job, actually, and I think it would be impossible not to check on my own peeps once in a while. However, getting sidetracked to the point of reading the same status updates twice in one day? Not acceptable. Surfing Google Reader for more than 10 minutes during the workday (eek, yes, I do this) -- no longer. Blogging to say not much at all, when I have work to be done? Won't work in this scenario. All are poor uses of my time. (I sound like my second grade teacher, Sister Anne Mary! God Bless her!)

Does it help others? Is it a spiritual exercise? Probably not. Still. I'm posting here at 9:00 pm while I watch Project Runway. I won't be able to do that every night, but I also don't want to fall asleep on the couch at 9 every night. I should go to BED if I'm sleepy. Or stand up and go get a photo album organized for 20 minutes. No time wasting! I like it. Yesterday (Ash Wed.) and today, at work, with my plan in place, I got a lot done. Hoping the momentum will continue. It might be a little thin around here until Chocolate Day Easter, but I won't completely disappear. I would be interested in hearing if you have any Lent traditions or goals.

Butternut Squash Soup could cure a lot of ill in this world

Anyone out there have a fantastic recipe for butternut squash soup? Please send it my way. I just finished a lovely bowl of it at Atlanta Bread Company, which admittedly included a hunk of sourdough bread (not a loaf bowl -- I still have SOME dieting scruples), and probably also a lot of cream and salt. But it was sweet and thick and delicious, and I need to know how to make it myself during these cold winter days.

Winter seems different this year, yes? Sooooo cold! I know a lot of the country has had it worse than us. We've had it great, actually -- all of the "pretty" and none of the "power outage/no school for days on end" nonsense. Our snow was sticky and wet, perfect for the Georgia kids to actually get to build a snowman. For two days, us parents motivated ourselves to take them outside because we knew we had to -- kids need the chance to do this, at least once in their lives. So we did it, with all the subsequent shedding of wet clothing in laundry rooms. And just like that, it's gone again. Still cold today, but the sidewalks and trees look like nothing ever happened.

I love watching the Olympics, especially when it feels outside the same way it looks on the TV. Brrrr! Bring me my blanket and a cup of cocoa (who says "cup of cocoa?") -- and turn on the Men's Half-Pipe. Oh, okay, Figure Skating (who am I kidding). I do laugh, however, at the Visa commercial -- they're giving away tickets to the Winter Games "For The Rest of Your LIFE." Ummmm.... a chance to go stand in a crowd, 30 rows back, on a snowy hillside every year? In various Arctic locales? Doesn't sound like something I'm that keen on winning. You keep those tickets, Morgan Freeman. I will take my 40-inch HD view and Bob Costas' goofy fireside interludes any day.

Quick posty before worky

So much to doooooo! So much to doooooo! I miss blogging with purpose. That is, blogging other than just to "say hi" or record events for posterity. I remember when I used to actually WRITE here.

Oh well. Blog Guilt-Free! Moving on: I woke up today with 2 things to look forward to: lunch with 2 coworkers at a Mexican place (yum), and my parents' arrival tonight (and probably dinner out, as well). Yay! They're coming for KT's birthday weekend! She's TWO! So hard to believe, but on the other hand, a lot has happened in those 2 years, and she did say this morning, "I wannna wear Pink Dress," so she must be two, because babies can't say such adorable, grown-up things. Also, I would like to go shopping nowkthanks.

We're doing pink and yellow for the family-only party, due to KT's wish for a Sponge Bob cake. Perils of having an older brother, I guess. She is super excited about her "Bir-day com-eenup."

I feel like AJ has been getting ignored by me lately. I know it isn't true, and that 2 years ago I wailed things like, "When will he EVAR learn to play by himself so I don't have to entertain him?!?" I guess that's what has happened, Thank Heavens, and I'm certain I can look forward to more loosening of those apron strings as time continues to go by. But my Mom-guilt won't let it happen without saying something: I hope I pay enough attention to him. His Dad was army-volunteered to assistant coach T-ball this year, so that's some good father-son time he'll get, at least. DH said he really loves that they can sometimes hang out and just talk "like two dudes hanging out." I melted when he said that.

I think AJ's also getting taller. Finally! I mean, he's still a tiny little dude, but he's definitely growing some.

So, happy Valentine's weekend, and Birday weekend for us, and stay warm out there!

I'm stuck on water-related posts

Last night we had a chat about travel. We don't do a lot of it, unless it involves grandparents and kids. We drive to one of their houses, or meet them in Destin or DisneyWorld -- and that has been the extent of our vacationing since 2005. I've been absolutely cool with that. Traveling costs money, and requires taking time off work, and we haven't had a lot of either one to spare.

HOWEVER! Guess what is coming up in 2011? Our tenth anniversary. Here at the office, we've been doing some promos about a cruise, and my friend is going to Sandals in Jamaica next month, and my other friend is taking a honeymoon cruise this Valentine's weekend.

It's still a long way off, but we've always thought we should "do something fancy" for our 10th. We might be willing to try a cruise, although I'm hesitant about the size of the cabins and the motion-sick-inducing ocean. So if not that, it's going to be an all-inclusive somewhere, and I already can't wait. Granted, we beach-it every summer for a week, but not just the two of us. Not where we can lay on the sand and fall asleep, and then swim over to the pool-bar and get another daquiri. And GOOD LORD, SLEEP IN. And have Brunch.

Both Tess and Jess have mentioned having PLANS to look forward to, and I'm very excited to be joining them.

I'm posting it here to force it to come true. Because certain people hold me to the things I post here. For instance, last night DH rolled up his pants legs and GOT INTO THE BATH to wash the kids' hair. And lo, they laughed. Hmph.

And the devil will drag you under...?*

Do your kids have trouble getting their hair washed? Man alive, mine do. AJ has never liked baths -- not since his very first washcloth bath in the hospital, I don't think. Not when we got him home and carefully laid him in a terrycloth-lined baby tub, with honey scented Baby Wash and adorable towels that matched his very own bathroom decor. Not as he got older and learned to splash. He has always been too concerned that his head was getting wet, or his eyes, or any part of his face.

It has finally gotten a little better for him in the last year (he's now 5 and a half), and it's partly because he's such a good big brother. He lets KT dump water on his head, actually. It mostly rolls off the front -- I guess the way his hair is cut allows for that -- and thank God, because if it gets in his face he STILL says, "GET ME A TOWEL. TOWEL, MOMMY, I NEEDATOWEL." And he means a dry one. Only a dry towel will do. He won't wipe even one drop of water with his own hands, because they're wet and I guess that doesn't make sense to him.

KT hasn't been quite that severe about her displeasure in the bath, but it seems like when it comes to the washing-hair portion of our program, she always cries. I obviously use tear-free shampoo, and I try to be so careful. I ask them to lean their heads back (using a cup to rinse the shampoo out). I put my hand at the top of their foreheads to stop any drips from entering the facial region. I attempt not to get any water in their ears. AJ requires a (dry) towel over his eyes during the rinsing, and I comply with that.

I just don't understand what is the BIG DEAL? It's warm water, right? I would think it feels nice. They're not drowning in the ocean depths. I have tried singing, being silly, letting them "practice" on a toy/doll, letting them do it themselves... anything I could think of short of getting in the tub with them, which is NOT going to happen. My Mom used to lay us on the countertop with our heads hanging over the kitchen sink. Just like being at a salon. AJ likes that, but KT, so far, freaks out at the upside-down sensation.

So I need some parental advice. I'm wayyyy too late asking about this, but I'm finally tired enough of the bathtime drama, and some of our friends with 4-year-olds report their kids taking their own SHOWERS! I can't even fathom (heh). Before *I* drown, throw me a life-raft. Help!


*One of the boat songs I sometimes sing them in the bath is "Sit Down, You're Rocking the Boat," from Guys & Dolls. It's fun, useful (Sit Down), and I happen to know all the words. "Dreamed last night I was on the boat to heaven... And the people all said sit down, sit down you're rocking the boat.... And the devil will drag you under by the sharp lapels of your checkered coat! Sitdown sitdown sitdown sitdown, sit down you're rocking the boat." Maybe it's that one line that's scaring them??

Being Carried

The food doesn't have to be gourmet. No one's wondering if you used shredded Kraft versus a fancy Brie... they're eating.

The house doesn't have to be spotless. No one's inspecting every corner of yours... they're grateful to be out of their own for a few hours.

The back door doesn't have to be wiped down. No one's looking at the door... they're looking at your face as they walk in.

The house doesn't need redecorating or renovating, even if theirs have been. No one's coming to see your interior walls or your cabinets... they're coming to see each other.

I am so blessed and honored to have known these women this long. THIRTEEN years! What an amazing thing. A "club." Almost like when we were little girls, but better. Every time, I fuss and worry that my hostessing won't be good enough, but it is always fine, always complimented.

I adore my book club friends. I hope they all know that, and I'm not just writing it because they might come read me here today (*waving* Hi, S, G, M!). I may not be their "call on the phone every week" kind of friend (although I'd like that), but these dear friendships are absolutely carrying me through my adult life. They are hugely important to me. They are, I think and pray, for life.

7 Quick Takes for Friday

I have a grand desire to sit in this text box and type, type, typetypetype... all day, even, to make up for not recording the things that have happened in the past week, but even I don't like reading marathon posts. (I find that I skim down to the bottom, read the last few paragraphs, and then skim upward... until I HAVE read the entire thing, even though I didn't want to.)

This is too long already. Here, quick takes:

1. AJ. Reading silently, by himself! He got a Magic Tree House book from the library on Tuesday, read it during Library and after-school care, and by the time I picked him up he had finished SIX chapters! I was floored. He buckled himself in and read it some more during our drive back to the house. An entire new world has just presented itself. I am so excited, and thinking about The Bobbsey Twins (one of my first beloved book series) and other favorites. Must research! Also very glad to have an alternative to the Nintendo DS, although his prowess there is fairly impressive as well. Man, it's wild as kids get older and learn things.

2. KT. Potty training begins soon, I think. No other way to say this, but she is interested in doing her business there, as well as reading "Dora's Potty Book" every night. There is a tiny light at the end of the Huggies tunnel!

3. Date night. We're going to attempt, for the 3rd or 4th time, to see Avatar in 3D IMAX tonight. It was sold out during the holidays, so I'm getting tickets today at noon for the 7 pm showing. Fingers crossed.

4. When the Internet is down, it is difficult to do one's job as a web content manager.

5. I am pretty sad for Conan. I know that seems stupid, but when he was awarded the Tonight Show after all those many years of Leno, I was so relieved. And now they're giving it right back to Leno?? Ugh. The only good thing about Leno's show is when he interviews stupid Americans on the street. Conan's funny just standing there. His beady little eyes? Weird hair? LOVE. Not to mention Andy Richter.

6. DH was the parenting star last night with a disciplinary idea. AJ was sent home with a behavior report from Art class. Who knows why, but he was "cutting erasers off the pencils" in that classroom. ?! No idea. DH suggested that we make him use his allowance to buy new pencils for the Art teacher. Rock Solid. I am going with it. To Target we go.

7. Getting philosophical here at the end, last Sunday during Mass the thing I thought about most was wanting to feel God's presence more in my daily life. Specifically, I prayed to feel "carried" by God. For some reason those were the words. I don't want to feel like I'm slogging through each day. Picking up my feet in heavy boots, plodding over wet grass and stressful tasks. I want to be carried. Perhaps that makes me weak, but aren't we supposed to be, anyway? I already know that it happens -- for instance, this week with the Internet down at the office, I had to work from home 2 days. That allowed me to do some things (like prep for DH's birthday yesterday, and get posterboard for a school project for AJ) that I wouldn't have been able to do otherwise. So I know God's carrying me -- I just want it to feel tangible. So I'm working on that.

More Quick Takes at www.conversiondiary.com. Happy Friday!

Bored? At least you're not grouchy...

I am bored AND grouchy for a variety of reasons.

• My office building has put new hand soap in the dispensers in the restroom, and it stinks. One of the things I liked a lot about this job when I first started was its nice-smelling restroom soap. I know that seems silly, but when I smell strawberries it makes me less grumpy than when I smell the industrial "eau d'employees must wash hands before returning to work." Blech.


• I have a new cube neighbor. She is a friend, but her job requires her to be on the phone all the time and it's jarring, after having 6 or 7 months of quiet. She keeps her Blackberry at the desk, so when it rings (all the time) and she has stepped away for lunch HOUR, I hear the Island Shimmy. She also, EVIDENTLY, likes Corn Nuts (see: Loud).


• I want to be on a health kick, but I'm sick of health kicks. Bor-ing. I would also like to eat pepperoni pizza at least twice a week. Easy, and not boring. I would also like a glass of wine with that because I like the taste of wine.


• I am working on this project and have lost that healthy perpsective I hoped to have about it. WHO CARES? Apparently I do. Dammit.


• The news is depressing. I wanted to talk about the Golden Globes this week. I also have a coworker from Haiti and don't feel I will ever be able to do enough for her and her family (who are safe, but have lost everything).


• Why is everyone else cheery today?


• I went to Costco and was happier for a half hour, retail therapy you know, but I still need to go to the regular store. We have Taquitos and boneless chicken breasts at home.


• I knew blogging would make me feel a bit better, but it didn't finish my work for me. Rats.

Smileflakes

What makes Southerners so crazy about snow is the rarity of actually getting it. Yes, it's a crazy associated with our inabiliy to drive and our Worrying about Bread! And Toilet Paper!

But more than that we go a little nuts because when it begins falling, the little kid in all of us comes out, and -- as I just witnessed at the shopping center and the drive-thru -- we can't help smiling at each other.

A small wonderment, to be sure.

Here's one of the "laughable" work things

I'm part of a project team at work that received this instruction in an email recently:

"I'd like to ask the teams to critically reconsider the objectives and add until you think they cover your whole subject. The following criteria might help you:
- the objective is strategic (3-4 year scope)
- the objective is not country-specific
- the objective does not contain a measure
- the objective doesn't contain an initiative
- the objectives cover the 4 perspectives (financial, customer, process, innovation)."

HA!!! Ridiculous. Belongs here.

Whereas before, an assignment like this would kind-of stress me out, I'm trying to just put it in perspective. I'll do my part, yes, but not get flustered trying to over-work or perfect it. Because who cares!?

My 2009

It's been great reading everyone's Old Year recaps and New Year's resolutions. The Sundry meme is always a good template to organize those thoughts. I did it last year. It's too long, though, so I'm skipping the stupid questions this time.

I did have the glass of wine (and a half), and as I begin this, am cozied up in the covers at 10 p.m. I rarely bring my laptop to the bedroom, but we have a new laptop now taking the main station in our kitchen/den (thank you, Santa!), so I'm thinking the iBook G4, in its old age, will serve well here for reading and writing before bedtime.

Anyway, here goes.

1. What did you do in 2009 that you’d never done before? I started a new job. I've done that before, but never with this company. Lots of the new things I did this year were related to this job (which still feels new). Other new things: Traveled with two kids and both sets of grandparents to DisneyWorld (awesome); watched my first-born start Kindergarten, bought school uniforms, made school lunches), went to T-ball games, and rocked a Magazine Drive.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? Ugh. Is it funny to talk about failure on the heatlh/fitness resolution? No....? Darn. I exercised a bit more faithfully in '09 than in '08, thanks to the new job -- they had a lunch-hour walking program when I first started -- but it fizzled. See also: Various excuses. I received a Wii Fit+ for Christmas, and DH joined a 24-hour gym, so I'm hopeful there'll be some activity in this department. But frankly, I'm sick to death of making it a "resolution," and even reading of other people making it a resolution. It just needs to be a part of daily life, something that we Do, not something that we Start and Stop doing.

DH and I also hope to organize, declutter quite a bit, and PAINT this year.

4. Did anyone close to you die? DH's paternal grandmother died right before Christmas. We weren't close to her, but the times I'd met her I thought she was a really fun lady. I regret that we never visited her with our kids before she died.

6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009? Last year I said: Muscle tone in my abs, and lower cholesterol. (Um, no.) A pain-free back. (Check!) My side of the bed to myself. (Check!) In 2010, let's see... a fresh coat of paint on the den walls. New boots. New bath towels in at least one bathroom. A chair for our kitchen desk. It's the little things. And maybe that muscle tone, too.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Making dinnertime slightly more bearable. It seems small, but has made a big difference. Dessert happens on Mondays and Fridays only, and everyone gets dessert regardless of how much they ate at dinner. We're still fighting a few dinnertime battles (don't tip your chair back, don't play with your food), but infinitely fewer than before.

9. What was your biggest failure? Unsure if I want to quantify any "biggest" failure. Let's not get so negative. I'm trying to enjoy a little wine buzz, yanno?

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? I was ill when things in my former job started going all screwy and desperate. I was injured somewhat when, during Christmas break, my neck and shoulders seized up and wouldn't relax for a week or so (was it viral or muscular? hard to tell...) And how about this, I was ill when my coworker injured herself and worked from home for 8 weeks, because she shifted a lot of her busywork to me. Rrrrr.

11. What was the best thing you bought? iPhones.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? My parents' and DH's parents'. Each set has come up to stay with AJ as we navigate the novelty of a school calendar and random days off for "teacher inservice" and "fall parent-teacher conferences." AJ's behavior, for trying something new (T-ball) and doing his very best. KT's, because she's awfully cute. ;)

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? My own, on several occasions.

14. Where did most of your money go? We had quite a bit of car repair and maintenance going on this year. Thank goodness we paid the loan off in May, or even more would have gone to the "car" column.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? DisneyWorld and staying at the Animal Kingdom Lodge. Battlestar Gallactica. iPhones.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? Happier. No, really. Last year this time I was commuting an hour each way, every day, and not enjoying the work, either. This year, 6 miles. Better work. WOOT!
b) thinner or fatter? Fricking same. Same, same, same.
c) richer or poorer? Overall, richer, I think. But not much.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of? date night

19. What do you wish you’d done less of? Spanking. I mean, we don't Spank as in, "I'm getting the belt," but what I realized, and almost put in the "biggest failure" category, is that I definitely have a tendency to WANT to spank in the heat of a fight with the kids (AJ). I know kids sometimes do need a swat on the butt, but I am never proud of it, I try to avoid it. and the realization really stopped me in my tracks. Hard to admit that here.

22. What was your favorite TV program? Even I am bored by this question. We did start watching a new one, though -- Man vs. Food on the Travel channel. Love!

24. What was the best book you read? The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society. (I also loved Twilight and New Moon, and am not afraid to admit it.)

25. What was your greatest musical discovery? Pandora.com.

26. What did you want and get? Are you still reading this?? The new job, obvs. And Starbucks gift cards for Christmas.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? Worked. And sulked because a coworker forgot. Big, 35-year-old baby.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? More time to spend helping out at AJ's school, thus allowing me to make friends there. The "insta-friends" I was hoping for haven't panned out yet. I know it's early in our career there, but if I were able to go to volunteer in the classroom, the library, etc., I'd be happier with that situation.

35. Who did you miss? Same answer as always - my Sis and MB, and I feel we've talked even less the last few months. And my parents. You know, I think a lot about why we live here instead of there, and wonder -- desperately? hopelessly? -- about who's going to take care of them as they get older, if we're not there. We're not far, but still.

36. Who was the best new person you met? Actually, our new pastor is pretty awesome. :)

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009. I am getting very tired, here. But I wanted to write about something that inspired me recently. I tried to explain it to DH and it didn't come out right. It's the thought that "I am so much more than this job." Even though I'm happy about the job change, and about having a job at all in this recession, I have to work very hard not to identify solely as "Working Mom," emphasis on "Working." But the importance of my life is not wrapped up in this job. I learned this from watching a few (sour, grouchy) new coworkers who ARE solely empowered by their jobs, and also from a recent homily on motherhood. It's not so much that my calling is to motherhood, or that people whose lives don't include children are "less than." Not at all. It's more a realization that the trappings of office work and business are so miniscule that they're almost laughable; and therefore not worth getting stressed out about. Do good work, full stop.

That's it for me on this one. Lots to do in the year twenty-ten, that's for sure. Looking forward to sharing it here!

Beginning

Stopping by... hello... I didn't write a single thing over the holidays. I had an inkling, but instead opted to fully engage in the moments. I truly enjoyed my time off from work and my wonderful family, and kept up somewhat with all of you through the magic of the iPhone.

I hope to stage a cozy meeting in my bed this evening, with a glass of nice wine (or maybe juice, I feel a sore throat coming on) and my laptop, to muse about last year, these last few weeks, and 2010.

Meanwhile, please jump over and visit my darling real-life friend, the simple minded suburbanite. Her blog is new, and fantastic. You will love her.

Three gifts, all wrapped up

Another great weekend, man. I don't know what is different this year, but Operation December-Sans-Stress is really working for me.

Oh wait, I just remembered I'm not having anyone stay at my house this year, for the first time in, let's see... three years?! Instead we're descending upon my Mom, which is probably why she's unusually anxious this year. Sorry, Mom! Transferred all of my angst down to you, I guess.

Anyway, after a late evening -- my friend, her husband, and their 6-week-old stopped by on their way to Florida last night -- I had a lovely realization: I got to spend a grateful few moments holding each of the 3 members of my family yesterday.

AJ and I had gone to Mass together in the morning, and during one part while we adults were kneeling, he cozied up in front of me and let me put my arms around him for several minutes. I was so happy to have a moment to say prayers of gratitude just for him... my little man, my firstborn.

At naptime, KT pulled her usual and wouldn't sleep in the crib in broad daylight, so I sat with her in the rocking chair for an hour or so. I snoozed, too, but just watching her sleep, feeling her little breaths, smelling her hair... I had intended to be finishing up laundry during that time, but on the other hand... no. It was perfect, and such a blessing to just be in that moment.

And then at 10:30 when it was time for bed, having the perfect someone to curl up and get warm with, thankful for each other and our happy little life. :)

Three sweet hugs to cherish, all on one day. Best gifts I'll get this year, I'm certain.

Tough one

As usual, I should be spending my time posting stories to my work websites instead of this one, but eh. It's December 18th. The mind is not jiving with work right now.

Yesterday was our hardest day of the Christmas season so far. Everything piled up to land on that particular Thursday -- KT's classroom party at daycare, for which I had signed up to bring cupcakes, and no, I didn't allow myself to simply purchase them, I wanted to BAKE and FROST and even SPRINKLE ever-so-lovingly... (perhaps stupid?) plus we had to bring a wrapped gift. So that was to start. (And also the night before until 11... cooling, then frosting.)

My day at work started immediately upon arrival, with a "brainstorming" meeting for 2 hours. A "brainstorming" meeting is appropriately named. Everyone's thoughts were thrown into the middle of the room (well, screen, it was a teleconference), and the person taking notes didn't even do so in a linear fashion -- his notes looked like one of those "tag clouds" on purpose. Argh. That set my mind spinning and I could not stop for at least a few hours afterward. I worked through lunch, tried most unsuccessfully to focus until 4:30, and then...

It was the night of AJ's very first school Christmas program. He played a cow. An adorable one if I do say so, and thank the Baby Jesus there was no sewing involved. I zoomed over to school to pick him up from after-care, grabbed KT, who'd bumped her cheek, pulled out a large clump of hair along with her barette, and stained her cute Christmas sweater-dress at the party -- with my chocolate cupcakes! We patronized a drive-thru, stopped at home to potty, costume up, and let the dog out, met DH, and off we went... to "Penance." This, I learned, is the name the parents have given, over the years, to the 2.5-hour festival of song and narration that is the Christmas program.

I've been meaning to go to Penance all Advent, so that worked out. (har)

Naturally the Kindergarteners were the last to perform.

Also, to remind you, 22-month-old kids do not sit well for 2.5 hour festivals of song and narration. Wiggle Worm! At least she was mostly quiet. We did remember the paci (don't judge, we will wean her someday) and a snack-pack of Craisins -- the silver bullet.

It was not that bad, but sadly, I barely saw AJ during his song, and I was so tired by that point I mostly didn't care. I knew he was having fun, plenty of other paparzzi -- I mean, Kindergarten parents -- got photos, and I guess we'll have several years of this ahead of us! We'll sit closer next time, perhaps. Thankfully, there was no obligatory reception afterwards!

It was a long day, but worth it for the check-box in our Family Life category Christmas pageants. Check! Part of what Christmas is all about, indeed. :)

Observations

When I left the office for my lunch hour yesterday, another girl was leaving the building, too, with her Lean Cuisine already heated, fork in one hand. Her purse was slung over one shoulder, and she was eating as she WALKED. Now that's taking it to a new level. I've been guilty many times of eating while driving, eating "on the run," but never literally. Bizarre, no?

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There seems to be an office tradition of giving a Christmas card to every co-worker. So far the ones I've received haven't even been personalized. Not even a "Dear el-e-e." Just signed at the bottom: -Yatt. (Yes, she gave me one!) I find it odd. Sort-of like passing out valentines in the 5th grade. I can't decide if I'll join in or be a rebel.

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God has a sense of humor. There's a new priest at our church, and he's... well, let's just say he's very DELIBERATE (read: slow) about every. single. thing. he. does. His Mass takes at least an hour and a half. I thought, this past week, that SURELY he wouldn't be saying the 5:30 p.m. Sunday "Life Teen" service. Surely someone as Rite and Ritual-oriented would ask not to say the electric guitars and drums "Praise" service (read: surely we wouldn't have to suffer through his slowness). WRONG-O. We've heard him now 3 weeks in a row. I'm learning patience in yet ANOTHER way.

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All the things I was going to put into this post have flitted back out of my mind. Why does that always happen? If I think of them I'll come back to edit. (You: Wowww, thannnnks.)

A girl's best friend.

I can't quite get behind the concept of "trading up," when it comes to wedding jewelry. At least, not within my age group. I do understand the basic idea -- what woman doesn't want a big, sparkly diamond, right? My aunt got a beautiful (2-carat, I think) diamond after about 25 or 30 years of marriage -- I still remember her 1-carat original and it was lovely, but her new one does have a real WOW factor. And after 30 years, she certainly deserves something that nice. But my friend Pam is now wearing a beautiful diamond and sapphire band that her husband gave her on their 10th anniversary. She doesn't wear her original anymore (I don't remember it).

Maybe I'm entirely too sentimental, but we're closing in on 9 years and I simply can't fathom turning my wedding set in, just to have a bigger, fancier, more expensive one. THIS is the ring DH picked out for me all by myself. THIS is the one he took out into the natural light, to make sure it was high enough quality. This is the one he put on my finger when he asked me to marry him. It's the one the priest blessed on our wedding day. It always was my style, and just the right size. Sparkly, noticeable, without being overdone.

What I would prefer after 10 or 20 years, I think, is a right-hand ring. Or an extra band to nestle next to my current one. Like I said, what girl doesn't want more sparkles?? I just can't imagine wanting to give up all the sweet, young history of this particular left-hand diamond. Maybe that will change and I'll get tired of it someday. But I doubt it.

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At AJ's school this week, the Kindergarteners visited Santa's Secret Shop. They were asked to "budget" what they wanted to spend on each family member -- and here, let me just interject that for ME, he budgeted "Less than $1.00" while for his Dad and his uncle both, he decided on "$9.00 and up." He was talking about "Nine hundred for Daddy" so I have a feeling he does not understand the concept of money very well, despite our giving him a small allowance when we remember. Some of the room mothers helped them shop and wrapped things up with nametags. "For Grandmommy, From AJ," for instance. Well, when he got into the car after this big event, he immediately pulled my gift out of his bag. He couldn't wait for me to see it, even though I protested every way I knew how. "It isn't Christmas yet, AJ, Mommy should really wait..." Eventually, though, I couldn't force him to wait, especially when he was so excited. He assured me it was something I needed before Christmas. I was convinced it was an ornament for the tree. What else could it be, for Less than $1?! Also, it was his first solo shopping excursion and he was high with the expectation of giving. (Don't you love that? When you've picked the perfect thing and you KNOW they're going to love it?) So, HE ripped open the bag for me. to reveal what I'm now wearing on my right hand:

(It's adjustable in the back.)
And I'm not ever trading this one, either.

Small Sacred Moment

I've mentioned before that Christmas tree decorating is never as blissful as I think it should be. This year ours seemed stressful even in the planning, because we decided to do it on a weeknight (last Monday), which of course got pushed to Tuesday because of an unexpected Book Club conflict. Add two parts kids -- one who wants to hang all the ornaments right now right now, and the other who wants to just take them all down -- and it's even messier. I did my part by giving DH The Look, after he griped at AJ to not put all the ornaments on the same branch. I didn't like him adding "Grumpy Daddy" feelings to my tree-trimming. Because I am so perfect, myself, (ahem). (Sorry, DH.) It didn't devolve too badly, and we actually got the ornaments hung in under an hour.

But the perfect moment occurred afterwards, during hot chocolate and cookie-time. Since we were all seated at the table, KT assumed it meant we were about to say the blessing like we do at dinner. "Bess-eeen!" she announced. AJ laughed, and I said, "Well, I guess it would be nice to ask God to bless our Christmas..." I didn't expect us to do it, but AJ quickly put his hands together with a "God, please bless our Christmas," and another giggle.

It seemed small and silly to him, but I found a spot of joy in that request. Yes, please bless our Christmas.

Cookies!

Sugar cookies (pre-made dough), "frosted" with peanut butter or Nutella, and decorated with white choc chips, mini choc chips, pretzels and M&Ms. Kid friendly (if a mess), Mother devoured three approved.

Thanksgiving 2009 - Report

It feels too late to post a Thanksgiving report, actually, since Christmas and all its materialism and crazy-making has already begun FULL TILT. I am headed to WalMart today, in fact, desperate to shop and not be "behind." (Ridiculous!) But I have to follow-up. Can't have a prelude without a post-, you understand.

Our Thanksgiving was lovely. Really nice. We spent the day snacking on a BLT cheeseball (divine) that was placed on a plate by me but planned, created and executed fully by my MIL, who is wonderful. I just have to say that. She really is a hero. We left the sliding glass door open to the back patio most of the day -- football was on, the kids were in and out playing and enjoying the freedom of that open door, splashing in a small fountain on the porch. To me, that was idyllic. Aside... Something different about our childhoods and our kids' -- I feel like we were allowed to "do our own thing" much more than our kids are. I remember exploring the porches and yards of several grandmothers/great aunts, just us kids, during holiday gatherings. So I was thrilled that we didn't hover (too much) while the kids splashed, giggled and got their Thanksgiving outfits all wet.

Neither kid ate one bite of Thanksgiving dinner. Too full from pretzels and juice all day, I suppose. I didn't much care and let them get down from the table early. Like, almost directly after "God is good, God is great." Next year, no dice. They're going to have to learn manners one of these days.

Our dinner was Yum. I ate a lot. Two things -- no wine or drinky was ever opened/offered, not that I needed it, but it makes everything more festive IMHO. Also, no dish was especially rich or decadent with butter/sugar/garlic or whatever. I missed that aspect. But all good, classic, delicious food (and sweet tea, mmmm!) for which I was, and am, very grateful.

I had a bit of a spiritual revelation while I was there, so if you're not into spiritual revelations, here's the paragraph that you may skip -- see you down the page. I was making my way through the weekend-with-the-in-laws, not feeling bad or put-upon or annoyed, just very NORMAL but slightly WORN from being there. You know how it is. You love your family, but you don't need to be around them 24/7, am I right? The thought occured to me (in the shower, naturally) that I shouldn't be concentrating so much on how I was going to endure the weekend/family members, but instead how I should be bringing Love/Jesus to them. Actually, I thought about Jennifer from Conversion Diary, and just knew that's something she would challenge herself with. (See how blogs are doing good in this world?) But a nice little wake-up call. I tried after that, in the smallest of ways (hugs, smiles, kindness), to be more Jesus-bringing and less "me, me, this is all about me." I wish I had time to write it more eloquently. There are things that will annoy you, when you're with relatives. It is not worth being annoyed. It IS worth showing the people you're with that God exists and love is apparent. Anyway, it's something I hope I can take with me and work on more often, with more people in my life.

Just two other small updates:

-- AJ is finally able to tie his shoes, using the "rabbit ears" method. I have never liked that one, because the resulting knot isn't as strong. But I realized it makes more sense to a kid because it's the same action as the first part -- cross the two sides and loop one under. DUH. I am anxious for him to gain confidence. His teachers refuse to tie anyone's shoes after December. (<--LOVE THEM.)

-- KT is playing like a little girl. I see her feeding her Little People bites of whatever she's eating, patting her doll's back to go night-night, "talking" them, and -- the most fun -- playing with Mommy's lipstick. She puts hers on (I don't really let her, it's twisted down into the tube) and then offers, "Mommy want some?" while putting it on me. What fun!

Thanksgiving 2009 - Preview

I have to admit, I'm feeling a little left out of all the Thanksgiving stress. We're going to my in-laws' in Savannah, meaning road trip, meaning I'm not even required to bring a dish, meaning I am totally sidestepping a lot of what makes the holiday, for women. Granted, it's the hard part, but still. I don't like to miss out, especially on stressy things. (They give me a reason to blog.)

I was at Publix Sunday to just grab a few items to get us through the week before we leave town (how that turned into $85, I don't know), and I walked by the filled-to-capacity frozen turkey bin. There were couples milling about, chatting about how many pounds they need, young moms calculating how long will it take to thaw the bird... it seemed like a pretty major event right there in the poultry aisle, and I just skipped right through to the cereals.

Sort-of a bummer.

I've hosted Thanksgiving at my house exactly once, I think, when AJ was 5 months old. We held his baptism that same weekend. I'm pretty sure I was stressed about the dinner; I may have even had an emotional outburst but I don't remember (no need to chime in and remind me if I did, family). But I LOVED getting out my pretty wedding china, finding a new set of placemats and napkins, and getting to make my Grandmother's famous dressing. When we go to my in-laws' I always think I want to bring some of that dressing -- maybe make it a week ahead, freeze it, and transport it down in a cooler -- but I've not done that yet. I don't really think far enough ahead.

The set-up of my in-laws' house makes it difficult to do what I consider the important part of the holiday -- socialize and work together. Houses that are good for those things have a "flow" through the kitchen. MIL's kitchen, through no fault of her own, has one way in/out. The kitchen's like a dead-end. You can't just easily mill about, chatting and drinking wine, you know? You also can't hang out on one end of the counter and help with cutting or peeling -- or at least I can't, because the kids tend to velcro onto my pants and the kitchen is also rather small. Someone is bound to get stepped on. Oh, I don't know. I really want to make it a happy holiday, and to be the helpful daughter-in-law, and to have all of that social, warm, working-together feeling. In the past, I have felt like we spend the day just waiting around for MIL to finish cooking, already, so we can eat.

Somehow I don't remember her having appetizers. I think it'd be better if there were appetizers. Maybe I'll try to throw some easy dips together for the cooler.

(Now I can stress out like the rest of you.)