And So It Goes

Today our public school district announced that Fall 2020 will start out 100% virtual, instead of going back to school. 

I am so relieved.

I am also so sad.

Three weeks ago, they said we would have to decide on our own, whether we'd send our kids back or do online school. I knew that the right call was to keep Alex home, but he had said immediately he wanted to go back. I was reading all the advice saying "We have to be the grown-ups, we have to be the bad guys in this situation, for our kids' -- and the nation's -- health, and keep them home." ...but still, I was willing to let him choose. To order him to wear his mask, obviously, but let him go. His mental health and growth and development is a factor in all of this, too. He was looking forward to it.

But now we don't have the choice, and I'm sad for him. We're waiting for an email from the band directors to come tonight. Supposedly fall sports are still on (... ?? how is that feasible? football? are you kidding me? surely this will change soon, too), and we are supposed to start Band Camp next week. 

I am trying to stay calm for Alex's sake.

Kate's private school has been moving toward in-person school with an option to do virtual, and they probably have an easier time planning for it all, being exponentially smaller than the public district; but I do wonder if this will alter their plans as well.

I feel some legitimate sadness hovering over all of us; the kids are so bored, and starved for contact with their friends. They've both had one or two sleepovers and visits, but it's not enough. I know they're in contact with friends online, but it just isn't the same. I worry for their futures, their relationships, their mental health. 

AND on the other hand, I'm determined to do my best to help make it a good semester anyway. How can I do it better than in Spring? How can we be together more? How should we order our days to make them Good Days? What can we add that will be of value later? What can we subtract? It's our job as parents to give it our best shot for our kids. I want to do that. I pray I'll have the energy and means. I pray work will let me be here and work flexibly, and that I'll keep my job. 

One thing I think is sorely missing from all the leaders, is some hearty cheerleading for everyone -- you know, like, "Everybody come on, together we can DO THIS!" Maybe that's what I need to focus on most of all. Rallying the troops. Positive attitudes. 

Went to the Office!

Yesterday I went in to my office for the first time in almost exactly 3 months. How odd! A place I used to kind-of dread, now making me feel nostalgic and warm. LOL! 

When I walked in, my close-to-the-door coworker greeted me so kindly; I missed her sweet friendliness. Then the General Mgr. walked by me and said, "Lee! What are you doing here? Get the hell out of here!" (His 'humor' leaves a little to be desired, but I knew what he meant. He's a big germophobe, actually, and still wants people staying home. Thank God.) It was nice to be so enthusiastically greeted. In the old days, there were barely-there "good mornings" from the tired cube-land drones (including myself) as I walked by. 

My desk was dusty, and my monitor seemed enormous after 3 months of working on a laptop. I completed a lot of desk-tasks, though -- packing up some products to send out, printing some letters on letterhead, and dropping some things in the office of another coworker, to be picked up next time she's in the office. 

I only stayed until 3, because I wanted to take Alex to get a haircut and they close at 6; but since everyone is more tolerant of flexible schedules now, I didn't have to feel bad about that. I hope that will last. The guilt of not being "where you're supposed to be" was/is the worst part about being a working outside the home mom. Maybe I'll be okay with going back a few days a week eventually. For now, though, one day was plenty and I am relieved to be laptopping it at my kitchen table again this morning, and for the rest of the week, with Ash the cat snoozing on the notebook beside me. 

Garden (and other) Updates: Day 87

In late April, I planted a Better Boy tomato, cilantro, basil, chives, and flowers. Begonias, mostly, but some impatiens and Verbena as well, a geranium, and my 2 hanging scaveola plants. They all did so well through the spring! And it's thanks to COVID in large part, because for once in my life, I was at home and able to tend to them. But as summer hits, things are starting to deteriorate in the Gardening department:

• The tomato, mostly, just failed. We'd been so hopeful, with three green tomatoes actually growing and many other blossoms looking like the start of a bumper crop. But then yellow leaves appeared at the bottom, which I learned was likely a sign of too much water. I'd remove the yellow leaves (so they wouldn't be a "sugar drain," on the fruit), but the next day there'd be more. In the last week or so, the remaining blossoms have all withered and the 3 green tomatoes have not grown at all. And it's rained heavily the last 2 days. :( I've helped that plant to Jesus, I guess.
• UPDATE: 3 hours after posting, I went out to check the plants and there are 3 new babies on the tomato! It's looking okay! It might actually survive! hope hope pant pant hope hope
• The cilantro, which I was using so happily to make salsa every week, started to flower, and stopped making big pretty leaves. I could buy another plant at Publix to replace this one, I guess.
• The scaveola are doing okay. I try really hard to put them under a porch when it rains (they don't like overwatering, either) and to keep pruning them back. They're so pretty, and I want them to live.
• Begonias looks great. Some are getting leggy, but still lots of flowers.
• Impatiens look great. I'm really pleased because earlier in my adult life, I tried to grow impatiens and they didn't work out (I think they got too much sun). They're happy little flowers.

Ah, well. Shawn maintains that when we go away for a week, the plants always die anyway, and that trip is coming up. 

What we're doing on day 87:

I'm working, and working a LOT. At the beginning of this WFH deal, I had to tell myself it was okay if I only got 6 hours of work done in a day, or only completed one project. Emotions were high and productivity was low; kids needed my help sometimes with school, and we were all getting used to this. 

Now, the kids are out of school and work has really ramped back up. It's going okay -- one thing that helps is the tween & teen sleeping really late in the mornings -- but I'm tired by the end of my workdays. We still have lunch and a show together. I'm still exercising a lot more than Before, though I'm walking outside less because it's gotten hot. (My goal is always 150 minutes a week.) 

We're going out a little bit. To outdoor malls, with masks, and not every day, but we have to do SOMETHING. Stores are open. We needed books for beach week, for example, so we went to Barnes and Noble, which has been re-configured for social distancing (fewer shelves, more spread out, no chairs to read in-store).

Next week, Kate's doing a day-camp on a farm an hour away. If I were working in an office it would be impossible (day camps with their 8 to 3 schedules, I've always abhorred! Think of the working parents!!), but since days are WFH and flexible, I'm making it happen. The camp director promises social distancing, and all outdoor activities (hope it doesn't rain). The kids have to bring masks. I hope she has fun. 

What we're eating:

The same stuff, and some new stuff. This week's been a hodge-podge:

Sunday: HF pork carnitas tacos, one of our faves

Monday: Spaghetti with sausage meat sauce

Tuesday: This super-easy lemon-pepper chicken with green beans and Stove Top (pantry items FTW)

Wednesday: HF black bean enchiladas, which were delish

Tonight: a big salad with chicken leftover from Tuesday

Tomorrow: Baked potatoes, roasted broccoli

Saturday: is usually still take-out night. We haven't eaten in a restaurant yet as a family, but they're opening here in GA. I'm not ready.

I've cut back on coffee. A few weeks ago I had really bad reflux and an upset tummy for 2 or 3 days, and I started thinking about ulcers. Not that I had an ulcer, but when the mind gets going, sometimes.... you know. So I'm down to one cup a day, really, or a cup of regular and then only decaf if I want more.

How we're feeling:

Okay, really, besides the state of the world being a dumpster fire. (I don't want to talk about it.) I turned 46 and had a Zoom party and a delicious box cake. ;) We're glad that our time share is open and that the FL beaches are open. That will feel normal (although we're taking our masks, of course, and won't be doing some of the things we usually do, like the water park). 

Marching band had a boosters meeting via Zoom the other night, and that was hopeful. They're planning ahead as if the school year will begin in August, until they hear differently, and it was fun to see friendly faces and think about band camp next month. I did have a moment of worry that if we allow Alex to participate in it and they aren't as careful as they should be, and he gets sick.... but I have had to shake that thought from my brain and tell myself I can't live in fear.

I'm reading Angela's Ashes. I never read it long ago when it was The Thing, and I really like it, Talk about perspective and gratitude. Next up (for the beach), I've got Olive Kitteridge and Between the World and Me. Looking forward to both of those.

Updates on Day.... um.... 66, I think?

1. The refrigerator WAS especially dirty! I am so glad I cleaned it. 
2. The scaveola are hanging (ha) in there! They perked up, I've been VERY diligent about moving them under the porch when it rains, constantly watching my phone for weather alerts, and only watering them every other day, only if they need it. I am a farmer like my father before me. ;) But seriously, I am pretty proud of the success of these plants since I usually kill plants easily. I'm nervous that, if I ever have to go back to an office every day, they won't get the attention they require. 
3. I did, in fact, go back to work, from home of course, and it hasn't been all that terrible. Monday was a day of meetings, and I had to pick Kate up from a sleepover across town (let's talk about that below), so I felt like I got nothing really accomplished. But Tuesday and Wednesday were significantly more productive, and that felt good. 
4. The kids have all but finished school. Grades are in (all As). SEE YA, 6th and 10th grades. Alex has his AP Humanities exam today (!!) and Kate still has one "fun" Google Meet scheduled tomorrow, but all the other work is DONE. Kate had so many projects. Science (Google slides re: Hurricanes/Hurricane Harvey); Religion (some kind of family tree thing); Spanish (a menu for a ficititious restaurant); Social Studies (Google slides about Enlightenment thinkers - that was a tough one); and Literature (a paper about hurricanes - cross-class w/Science). Sheesh! Today we have to go to Kate's school to pick up her yearbook and the rest of her locker stuff, which the teachers have bagged up and labeled for every kid! There's a food pantry drop-off, as well, which makes me love our school even more, again. 
5. Both kids report they WANT to go back to school in the fall. 
6. I finished 4 books in the Women of Lancaster County (Amish) series and loved them all. I haven't read a full series in a long time. Now I've moved on to Sisterland, by Curtis Sittenfeld. 

So, Kate has had a couple of sleepovers. The first was Adrianna (neighbor nextdoor), and it was because A. asked me if she could sleep over. !! A little presumptious of her. She claims her parents have been fighting and she wanted to give them some space. (Her mom has told me they've been arguing a bit -- husband is home 24/7 and I think it's driving wife a little crazy, but it's nothing serious as far as I can tell.) I guess it's nice of their daughter but I hope my kids are not that bold to directly invite themselves over to other peoples' houses! No, ma'am. Anyway, we handled it (not without a little moodiness from 2 pre-teen girls), ordered pizza, made s'mores at the fire pit, set them up with a popcorn and movie night, served cinnamon rolls for breakfast, and then sent her home. 

The better sleepover was a meetup with her camp friends -- since she won't get to see them at camp this summer. And it was a surprise: Sarah Kate is from Kentucky, and her cousin Olivia lives here. I told Kate we were meeting O. but SK had secretly come down for a visit -- we met up with them for a hike and Kate had no idea SK would be there. Surprirse! It was so fun. They waded in the creek up to their waists, making memories for sure. And then they couldn't bear to part, so I let her go home with them. 

SHOULD we be having sleepovers, technically? Probably no. But geez, we've been isolated at home for nearly 2 months, and the kids have been SO good about not complaining. I absolutely couldn't say no. In my opinion, it's still social distancing as long as we don't do it frequently. The rules don't say, "Never ever see your friends again." They say to do things cautiously. 

In that same vein, I'm getting excited about our June visit to Pensacola. I think we might try to skip the condo in Destin; why haul all the stuff out there when we can stay at Mom and Dad's just as easily? We'll see. They might want to go, to "get their money's worth" from the time-share. I get that. But with a pool and enough beds, and cousins across the street, I think their house would be just fine. Still vacation-y! Getting to see my parents (we've missed 2 full times we should have seen them this spring)! Easier to get groceries in town than at the beach! 

Speaking of groceries, we've had some good meals lately. (I am still so sick of meal planning.)

S - Red beans and rice with sausage

M - Sloppy joes, sweet potato fries and tots (whatever was left in the freezer)

T - marinated pork tenderloin, wild rice, green beans

W - marinated grilled chicken, black bean salad (made w/cilantro and chives from the garden!!), cornbread muffins 

Th (tonight) - PW's creamy tomato fettucine and a spinach salad (will use basil from the garden!)

F - Hello Fresh (I restarted) bulgogi meatballs and jasmine rice, yippie! 

S - order in night

What I'm Doing Today: Day 57

It's Tuesday of the 2nd week of my 2nd furlough.

7:00 I've kept my alarm set and it goes off around 6:40, but I always snooze it or turn it off... I always intend to get out of bed and go downstairs with Shawn (who's still working at his office), but rarely do I, actually. Particularly with the latest cool front, it's been so warm under the covers and so cold outside them! (We really are having amazing spring weather here, I am not complaining. I've known many a May with temps consistently in the high 80s, ugh. This is bliss.) Today I got up, put on socks and pants, then got back into bed for another 5 minutes. So. Warm.

7:30 I've made coffee, Shawn's fed the cats and gone. I spend a quick minute in my planner, then step outside to see how cool it really is -- not unbearable. My weather app says 53 degrees. Since I have socks and long sleeves on, it's definitely warm enough to get my coffee and my book and phone and glasses, and sit outside on the porch for a while. I would sit out there all day with a book if I didn't feel guilty about it. At first, I can't concentrate; I've acquired two scaveola hanging plants that just won't perk up. (I think they were overwatered on their first day here, when it rained a good bit. So yesterday I refused to water them... but they're not better yet. I water them, but just a little, and say a prayer. Then curse a little at the plants. Perk up, ya jerks.) I sit back down and listen to the birds and read, until I hear Alex stirring inside.  I had scheduled myself until 9:00 to drink coffee, read the newspaper, do my journaling, and read. (And fret about the plants.) If I don't make a schedule I really will sit around and read too much.

9:00 Unload the dishwasher/do breakfast dishes. Used our last detergent pod last night so I'm thinking of a Target run this week now -- I'm also out of foundation (hardly need it, but you know) and almost of laundry detergent. Also, Kate will "need" to get out of the house here, soon. She hasn't complained in a few days about that, but I know her limits.

10:00 Head upstairs to do a video workout (weights) and then a short yoga one. I looooooove having time to do as much working out as I want to do. Yesterday it was a 30-minute walk with a podcast (I've been enjoying Mike Rowe's "The Way I Heard It."), today this. Tomorrow maybe I'll walk again. I take a long-ish shower after that.

Then I go out and nail some little holes in the bottoms of the scaveola pots. Maybe they aren't draining well enough. I'm tempted to water them some more (FORCE them to perk up!) but I resist.

11:30 I didn't eat breakfast so now I cut and eat a grapefruit, and read a chapter while I'm eating it. The kids are both working on today's assignments. Only 2 weeks left of schoolwork. I was asked to think about one work assignment over this break, but I don't have any good ideas so I decide to let it go. It's only Tuesday. I am Scarlett O'Hara -- I can't think about that today, I'll think about that tomorrow. ;) It's so nice not to be chained to work right now. (I could write volumes about this.)

12:00 Kids come down and we perform our daily lunch ritual. We all make something to eat and sit down to watch a Survivor episode. I love this part of our day. Today, we give in and watch the first half of a second episode, too -- we're at the end of a season and it's super dramatic.

1:35 I haven't made anything in the crock pot in forever, so I put frozen chicken breasts, salsa, black beans and corn in there and voila, dinner will be ready at 7:00. Taco Tuesday. Maybe I'll make a margarita to go with it.

2:00 Write a blog post (am doing this!). I scheduled it in, this morning. Haven't written in a while because there hasn't been much to write, really. After this I'm going to finish my oil spreadsheet, and shred some old documents. Then maybe I'll check that project off my list. It feels good to finally have it done, although there's much more I suppose I could learn about that stuff.

If I really wanted to use my time wisely this 2 weeks, I would try to paint a room. Problem is, I don't actually want to do the work, heh. Maybe I've said this already, but the less I do, the less I want to do. This... isn't great.

Instead, on my list for 3:00 is to clean the kitchen, including the fridge. Like, take things out and Windex the shelves and everything. It's not especially dirty, but a task that makes me feel like I accomplished something. Will probably also fold Alex's laundry for him, though I appreciate that he started AND switched it himself.

Tomorrow I need to call the orthodontist. They're opening back up, apparently, and Alex missed an appointment during Stay-At-Home. Kate is also supposed to have her annual doctor visit on Wednesday, but I think I'm going to reschedule that because it conflicts with Alex's clarinet lesson, which is Wednesday as well. (It's the one day of the week we have stuff going on.)

I'm greatly enjoying these days at home. I don't want to go back to my office, or even WFH. I will, of course, and will be grateful to have a job and a paycheck. But you know. A life of leisure is really not so bad. I'm afraid I've gotten used to it.

Book Rec: The Amish Midwife

I re-registered for the county's public library in the first few weeks of the stay-at-home order, because I wanted access to their e-books if I wasn't going to be able to go to Barnes & Noble. They were very kind to issue me a temporary library card, and told me to come by a branch as soon as they were opened again, to get a real one. (They're still not open, but the bowling alleys are! This makes no sense whatsoever.)

Anyway, the selection on Overdrive is not always ideal. The most current books are typically on a wait list for quite a long time. So for my first check-out, I found a book called The Amish Midwife, by Mindy Stearns Clark and Leslie Gould, authors I'd never heard of before. I took a chance. And I loved it. It was like the Amish version of the once-so-popular At Home in Mitford. A world that's so calming and peaceful you can almost smell dew on the grass.

And besides that, I simply love anything about the Amish. [Any faith tradition other than my own, actually. I am always drawn to fiction/historical fiction about the Amish, the Shakers, Judaism especially, the Mormons, and even going so far as the fundamentalist versions of those, up to and including all the seriously whackadoodle cults (well, not the violent or truly sick ones, but you know). I am equally creeped out and fascinated by Leah Remini's TV series on leaving Scientology, for example. I've watched the documentary about Jim Jones and the Kool-Aid thing more than once. I know it's weird but I can't help myself.]

Particularly in this coronavirus time period, but anytime, I find the Amish way of life so soothing to think about. Tend the garden. Raise the kids. Hang the laundry out to dry. Don't worry about looking fashionable. Rock the babies. Baking. Farming. Community. Sure, the lifestyle has its issues and problems (insular families, much-too-young brides, patriarchy), but we can skip past those. Slow-paced life working from home is suiting me right now, and intrigues me all the time. So anyway, this book was a total comfort. Lucky for me it's the first in a series of 4. I've already downloaded Book #2, because I'm not ready to leave that world just yet. I may get tired of it before reading all four, but we'll see.

Book #1, incidentally, tells the story of a 26-year-old Oregon girl, who discovers that she is related to an Amish family in Pennsylvania, and goes there to find out more about those family ties. There were things that frustrated me about both her character and the Amish family members, and one plotline specifically that was very obvious but kept a "secret" for the entire story -- but mostly, it was just great storytelling, well-written, with believable relationships and irresistable vignettes of Amish culture.

I think it falls into the category of "Christian fiction," which isn't always a good recommendation, but the spiritual stuff wasn't heavy-handed; maybe because the Amish way is gentle and non-confrontational. I recommend it if you think something light and comforting might be good for you right now.

We Are All So Sick of Meals

That title seems negaitve, but I intend this post to be a little more cheerful than the last couple! I haven't posted what we've been eating in a while. And I know that what to eat has been on everyone's minds ad nauseum -- aren't you so sick of meals? I am.

I'm so thankful my kids will EAT now, though. All of you with littles who are super picky, I salute you and stand in solidarity; I know this time must be extra hard with that complication. AND the unavailability of any frozen chicken nuggets anywhere! (At least that has been the case at my Publix -- the prepared chicken freezer cases are absolutely BARE.)

We are making do, and have yet to really tap into our now-fully-stocked emergency stash of Spaghetti-Ohs and dried beans. I've worked hard to build that stash up over the last few weeks, and have found plenty to eat with my slightly-less-than-weekly grocery runs. I used to go every weekend, but have been getting 8 or 9 days out of a trip, rather than just 7.

We just recently decided we are all kind-of over Hello Fresh, and the credit card was feeling the weekly hit. It was great when I couldn't find meats in the stores, but we're skipping the next several weeks and will have to rely on my own recipe books and culinary prowess (I won't say "talent") to get us through. Ha!

This week we've had, after our 2 HF meals:

Cereal/You're On Your Own - was it Tuesday or Wednesday that I just could NOT ...? I can't remember. I think Weds.

Bush's White Bean Chicken Chili - so easy, and really, pantry staples. We serve it over rice and had at least 2 helpings of leftovers.

Smoked sausage with tater tots, canned green beans - look, I didn't say I was winning any awards, here, just getting food on the table. We included a Texas Chocolate Sheetcake for dessert -- one of the things I make (learned from my Mom, hi Mom!) -- that my family does love. Our recipe is similar to PW's, linked there, but has a couple of secret ingredients, bourbon and cinnamon, which give it just a slight edge over any other Texas Sheetcake out there. We needed cake last night; it was our "Shawn had to buy 4 new tires AND has a toothache and Summer Camp Was Canceled" Cake. Medicinal Cake, if you will.

Next week's plan is currently being formulated. I may have to visit 2 grocery stores (ugh) so I don't take too many items from one section at any one store, eek. It's been at least 9 days and we're low on stuff. Here are some things on the menu:

Bacon Ranch Pasta with salad and garlic bread

Oven Cheeseburger Sliders, YUM, if I can find ground beef

BBQ chicken thighs, with roasted broccoli and butterered rice (I have had these thighs in the freezer for a while now; I don't like making this recipe because it smokes up the kitchen. Do you have a better recipe for chicken thighs? I would be open to suggestions.)

We will definitely order in one night this weekend, and I am also planning a pizza order on a weeknight. Of course, living in GA I suppose we could just join the other germy citizens and go out to eat next week, woooo!

JUST KIDDING. It is ridiculous to even consider it yet.

On Working During C-19

Okay, time for some real talk. I am, in my heart of hearts, so happy with this Temporarily Permanent Work From Home Situation. I looooooove working from home; I love being in my home, for me it makes working more tolerable. I'm saving literal hours a day by not commuting, and not having to pick up kids after school. Even with them here during the day, I'm happier than Before, because this is really an amazing quantity of TIME I wouldn't have had with them otherwise (never mind that we're in our rooms working or on devices a lot of the time).

However. This week, I have found it extremely hard to focus. Or, more specifically, it feels like my time working has been monumentally inefficient. I feel like I only work in fits and starts, and as a result I only really accomplish one or two tasks a day. Like, one e-newsletter composed and sent. One webpage created and published. Granted, both of those involve writing, finding and sizing photos, testing, editing, etc. - they're not just simple tasks. But still, it's a low number.

I'm trying really hard to plan my days carefully, like this:
7:30 - 9 work (do email newsletter + website update)
9 - 9:15 break - go outside
9:15 - 11:00 work (mtg, followup)
11-12 work (tasks)
12-1 lunch w/kids
1-3 work
3-3:30 break - walk
3:30-4:30 work (finalize tasks)

It seems like there are meetings nearly every day, which throw me off. 9:30 or 10 is smack in the middle of what could be deeply-focused "flow" time.

And then there are the personal interruptions. I will just sit myself down at the laptop and then the doorbell rings. Or a cat throws up. Or I have to go to the bathroom. Or a kid asks for help with a poetry report.

Maybe one accomplishment per day is enough to ask of myself during this weirdness. Maybe companies should lower their standards, and I should, personally, as well. I've seen the meme that says, "You're not working from home, you're at home trying to get work done." It's a subtle difference, but an important mind-shift. But as this becomes more permanent, I feel like I should be settling into making it as good, as productive, as before.

Probably not realistic. And again, it's fine, it's fiiiiiiiiine, this is absolutely the way I would WANT to spend my days if I could choose, but along with having been off for 2 weeks (and seeing a 2nd furlough likely in early May), it's reducing my motivation significantly.

This checks out.

Furlough Week Report

I am grateful for last week's furlough. Especially as I look back on it while staring at my work Inbox, with its meetings and tasks for THIS week. I am having a hard time returning.

Aside from the kitchen closet clean-out and finishing World Without End as "major accomplishments," it was definitely a quiet week for me. 

• I washed/changed the sheets on all the beds in the house. 
• Kate and I straightened up the front yard after an overnight thunderstorm. 
• I did some filing (but did not do the oil business spreadsheet). 
• I think I vacuumed, but can't quite remember.
• I worked out frequently, including a couple of lovely yoga half-hours outside in beautiful weather.
• I started another book, and nearly finished it.
• I hand-sewed myself a mask from some fabric scraps (it isn't too pretty but it works -- I've worn it 3 times already, and have become very determined to wear it when I'm out).
• Yesterday for some strange reason I decided I needed to Windex all the downstairs windows.
• I showered and put on makeup once or twice, oh, and I do have a very nice looking home-mani/pedi. 

I don't know -- I guess I thought those 2 weeks would somehow be more ....profound? Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed them immensely. I spent a lot of quiet time to myself, reflecting, experiencing the birds and breezes. Not having to think about work or sit at my laptop all day was very freeing, and I'm grateful. On Wednesday, though, I texted Mom and Jill and said I felt "unmoored." I cried that day -- not about feeling unmoored, but just about this whole situation, and the kids not knowing if they'll go back to school in the fall. My guilty conscience had something to say about that: You have 2 weeks off and you've found a way to complain about it! "Unmoored?!" You're free! Way to be the champion of whining.

But on Thursday, I practiced "acknowledging and accepting my feelings," and that was better. As a result I didn't accomplish much that day.

Ah, well. It's over now, and I'm back to my heating pad, my notebook, and Microsoft Outlook.

A couple of other important things I learned: 

1. It helps to open the window blinds every day. Let light in.
2. The less I do, less I want to do. 

Better get to it. Two meetings today, beginning at noon. Thank God it's still working from home. I really, really hope I can carry this into the Return to Normal, and WFH a couple of days a week permanently. I will argue for it, that's for sure. 

Pandemic Spring Break and other Random Things

Our Spring Break went about as expected; the kids were somewhat bored, but we found things to do I guess. The most memorable was a long walk we took, cutting through a couple of side-yards to get to the subdivision next to ours, where we commenced wandering. Following our noses. It was a beautiful day, sunny and warm, and such a different experience to see unfamiliar houses and yards, instead of the same 40 we see every day in our own small neighborhood. (It really is the little things.)

I dug out my square wooden plates/trays that were a wedding gift, and we used them to have lunch on the couch one day -- again, in "little things" revelations, Kate said, "This is so fun!"

We finished our 2nd puzzle (750 pieces), and now I need to order some new ones online, although I question whether it's a justified expense, not getting a paycheck and all.

We spent Saturday evening in the backyard, with a fire in the fire pit and some games of cornhole, complete with s'mores made using Easter peeps. (I now think it's the only way to eat them.) It was a lovely night. I still want to buy plastic Adirondack chairs, though.

And then we had Easter Sunday, subdued. I saw several people post photos of their families dressed up anyway. We did not do that, lol. For once, my tendency to wait until Holy Week to shop for Easter outfits didn't matter one bit. We watched Mass in our PJs (painful, again, since Kate fussed the whole time about having to do it), we opened baskets during the homily, and then had to get over being grumpy to enjoy the rest of the day. Ugh. I just can't, anymore, with video Masses. Felt I had to for Easter, but I'm out. I did make a traditional Easter dinner of ham, deviled eggs, mashed potatoes, etc. But our hearts weren't in it, I didn't think.

This week it's furlough for me and the kids are back to online school-ish. Yesterday I was really productive, cleaning out a closet in our kitchen that is where we keep recycling, cat food, and random other junk. It felt really good to get rid of things we weren't ever going to use, like silver chargers that are too big for my dining room table, a Captain America waffle iron, and about 15 old cookbooks that have not been opened since 2002. I did a load or two of laundry, and some filing in the office. 

Other notes:

• I'm currently out of half and half, so guess what? Using Redi-Whip in my coffee, and not even sorry.
• I'm using my old carafe coffee maker, not the newer Keurig, because those pods are more expensive than regular coffee, and I'm also drinking more than 1 cup (more than 2, even) these days at home.
• I have worn a scarf-as-mask at the grocery store only once. I'm not seeing everyone at my stores wearing them, not even all the staff. I feel guilt about not wearing one, but ugh, it's awful. I really hope we aren't forced to wear them all the time. I have some things I need to return at Target today or tomorrow, and I guess I'll wear it.
• I called our vet, who had advertised house-calls for annual checkups. That would be so much easier than packing our cats into their carriers! But they will charge a fee for it, and annual checkups are already pretty expensive.... so I don't know.
• The Archdiocese is holding out on cancelling the rest of the school year, even though the Georgia governor has cancelled public school. We got a letter yesterday saying Catholic schools will remain closed until May 8, and reevaluate at that time. I think they're being ridiculous.
• We (us, Jill, Mom and Dad) had a virtual happy hour last Friday, and it was fun! Planning on it again this Friday. We're trying to drink the same drinks -- last week it was White Russians -- but also use what we have on-hand. Doesn't matter, really, but it's fun to try. 
• Finished the 1,000-page book. It was great, but really strange to be reading about the Bubonic Plague from the 14th century, During These Times.
• My fervent prayer lately is just that things are back to somewhat normal by August, so the kids will be able to go back to school. I will grieve for Alex if marching band is cancelled. This week, he's applying for a leadership position in the band for next year. I've made peace with this year being called off. But if it extends into next... I just can't think about that. 
• We all need haircuts but we're too chicken to try doing it ourselves. Alex said he doesn't like his so long, but I figure it's as good a time as any to see what he looks like with longer hair, since no one of consequence is seeing it. It's definitely the longest it's ever been in his life. 
• I only have 2 Reese's eggs left in my freezer!

Pandemic Diaries: Day 26

We have been mostly at home for 26 days.

(Except dear Shawn, working hard for us in an office without much work to do. He said they're discussing a reduction of their hours -- not of pay, yet, but hours. Makes sense if there's nothing to do.)

What we've been doing on the homefront:

This past weekend was really lovely -- I'm finding that to be true during COVID-19, the weekends are so nice. Time at home, without extra obligations, really feels restful. Imagine that! I would like it to continue, please, after this crisis has passed, although who knows what kind of lives we'll lead by then. Or when. I really wonder when things will be normal again. Today I read a very optimistic email from one of Kate's teachers, saying, "[we'll do X] if the stay-at-home order is lifted by April 13," and... I doubt it will be, ma'am. Nice try, but no. 

Anyway, Saturday I feel like we were able to all do what we like. I read my book, Shawn played some video games in the daylight, Alex too, and I think Alex also practiced clarinet in prep for his lesson on Sunday, and Kate made TikTok videos and probably played with Adrianna. We've completed one puzzle, and we started a family game of Monopoly that I hope we'll finish tonight.

On Sunday morning, I reluctantly put on our parish's Palm Sunday Mass livestream. It was incredibly boring, I have to say. I mean, our church isn't known for being exciting, and it was our most boring priest, and the Palm Sunday Passion gospel reading, the longest of the year, took FOREVER, and there was only one musician, singing, behind the camera. It... doesn't make for the best television. ;) But we suffered through it to assuage my guilt. We watched in our jammies. The kids checked their phones a few times during the service. (Fine, whatever.) When it was over, I got out the Easter baskets and a few other small decorations. Yesterday I ordered 2 small items each for the kids from Amazon, and at Publix I found some candy to put in their baskets, and that's going to have to suffice. I also bought ham and asparagus, and I suppose I'll make them on Sunday and maybe even serve them on the good china at 2pm, to make it official. 

Sunday our one outing was taking Alex to his clarinet teacher's house. I wondered if we'd get "caught" doing something non-essential. But we didn't. And I let him drive us home. In another instance of bad timing, Alex's 2 two-hour driving lessons with an instructor were cancelled, and with nowhere we can go, it's hard to get him driving experience. I guess we'll have to start just taking a drive for that reason -- good thing is, the streets are empty.

We're also, of course, taking walks in the neighborhood.

This week begins the kids' Spring Break and my furlough weeks. I am finally a stay at home mom. ;) My fear about this week is that the days will all seem the same, and will go by too fast. We don't usually take big trips over Spring Break, but this year we had planned to go to Pensacola, to meet my sister's fiance's 3 boys and see Mom and Dad. It is a huge bummer not to get to do that. Maybe we should plan a FaceTime chat with them. 

For Spring Break Day 1, we watched 2 episodes of Survivor (don't judge, it's really fun), I went grocery shopping (Kate couldn't come with me since that is not recommended at this time), we had lunch outside on the front porch, played a card game, had time on our own for reading/whatever, and then the kids had to make dinner because I cut my stupid finger trying to slice onions. !! 

What we're eating: 

We've been trying to get take-out once a week, to help the economy but also keep our budget in mind, and on Saturday what the kids wanted was Culver's burgers. Meh. It was fine but not really what the adults wanted. Adults get to choose this weekend. 

Our home dinner menu this week includes:

S - Hello Fresh meal #1, which was a "southwestern" (debatable) sausage and rice casserole, basically. Delicious. 

M - HF #2, pork burgers with caramelized onions and roasted potatoes. Also delicious, moreso because the kids cooked it. ;)

T - Turkey Sausage, roasted broccoli, and cinnamon apples I made myself from some pink lady apples that weren't being eaten as snacks (am so proud, usually I buy those from the frozen section, lol)

W - Chicken Fried Rice

Th - Rotini with meat sauce, and salad and garlic bread. (lots of bread lately... I'd even like to make my own, but I cannot find yeast in the stores.) 

F - I think I'm going to make shrimp etouffee over rice (lots of rice, too), with a lonely little can of shrimp I bought at Publix. Sacrificial Good Friday dinner, you know.

I'm also having to think more about lunches, since we're all real sick of sandwiches. I bought some Lunchables yesterday and Kate said "they're so cute!" Lololol. Some other alternate things I might offer are potato soup, make-your-own pizzas in lieu of pizza Hot Pockets, which the kids are eating a LOT of, snacky lunch, and oh, hey, surprise, leftovers. ;) 

How we feel:

I'm still not really able to watch the national news. Or maybe I should say, I just don't want to. I'm reading the local newspaper (reduced number of print days), and mostly avoiding Twitter. Like I said, the main emotion is that these 2 weeks are going to go by too fast and I won't have made the most of them. So job number one right now is: Savor what we can. Breathe deep. Smile more. Spend time together. Make it count.

School's Out Forever

Georgia's governor finally decided to declare this a big deal and issued a stay at home order yesterday. I'm glad my county had acted ahead of him on that, and we've been staying home as much as possible (minus a few food runs). His order also included that kids will not go back to schools in Georgia this year. Boom.

It felt so sad and pessimistic to actually hear it for sure; we suspected this was likely to happen, but yesterday it became true and just felt heavy and final. Watching the press conference made me cry. There he was, trying to say things like "we'll be back, with strength and courage," when none of us really feels like that at this moment.

Oh well. I mean, we can't control what we can't control.

Today* I put on makeup, real pants, and shoes that were not lace-up sneakers (Skechers slip-ons, but still). I don't think it made a huge difference in my mood, but I felt like I at least needed to try. I did get a new pair of yoga pants, by the way. They're extra soft and we will become very close friends immediately.

Here's one thing I'm not doing well: faith/Catholicism During This Time. I mean, Lent was quickly out the window when it all began; I started comfort-eating sweets and desserts immediately, which was what I'd given up. The cliche of "gave up everything in Lent 2020" fits here, and I don't even feel bad about it. But, because the bishops of Atlanta lifted Catholics' Sunday obligation, I haven't been requiring that we attend any online Masses. Nor even wanting to. I skimmed this article today, but it didn't make want to livestream Masses. And Easter? No motivation, I gotta tell you. At some point we could get out the home decorations....Maybe. I haven't decided yet about an Easter dinner. All that fuss? There's some guilt building, because I know I shouldn't deny my kids the holiday, and more important, their own practice of faith, just because I'm not feeling it. But, ugh, it exhausts me to think about it if I'm honest. Do we mark Good Friday by being somber and fasting? We're already kinda down already, you know?

I'm doing plenty of prayer and gratitude by myself (this Catholic's preferred method), but I know I have some parental responsibility, too. It will be curious what these weeks (months?) will do for this generation of kids; will they decide that they can get along without churches/synagogues, as they grow older? Or will those buildings fill back up as soon as we're allowed, and people proceed with more fervor because everyone will have missed Community? I don't know.

Deep thoughts on a Wednesday.


*Wendy's for lunch, chili for dinner; working/watching Liv & Maddie reruns; and feeling fine-ish/whatever.

Pandemic Diaries, Week 3, Day 2

It's Week 3 at home. Who could have predicted this? It's crazy. I remain grateful; during Week 1 my password was about to expire, so I changed it and in it I use the phrase "work from home gift," becaue it really is one. I think the kids have settled in and found their schoolwork rhythm; I have, too... resigned to the fact that more than 7.0 hours of work is near-impossible, and that is OKAY. (I no longer count them up -- haven't at all, in fact, since this thing started.) Diligently working on the daily tasks, and actually grateful that there are new ones every day, like writing a COVID update email; someone's whim that we should post XYZ on social media; putting together a spreadsheet of gifts we can send our customers. It's good that even the pandemic is giving me some concrete tasks to do; I prefer them to nebulous "planning" and strategizing work.

Yesterday, though, our company announced temporary (I stress temporary) furloughs, and I was on the list. That's a stomach-sinking word, isn't it? Furlough. I remember when my dad changed his career and became a commercial airline pilot. There were, at that time, a lot of newer, start-up airlines. That was a blessing for him (the stalwarts like Delta wouldn't hire newbies like himself), and a curse, because just as soon as he'd get hired and trained, business would dive and they'd furlough employees... usually for good. I know it happened at least twice, maybe more. It didn't scare me as a tween too much, but there was some household uncertainty around that time, and I really feel for him, having to go through that. Probably wondering what he'd gotten himself and his family into.

And now here I am: starting next Monday, which was the first day of our Spring Break, I'll be fuloughed for 2 weeks. There are a LOT of blessings in it: the company will sign us up for unemployment pay, we don't have to do anything (apparently); we keep our health insurance; it's only 2 weeks in April (and possibly May, but that isn't decided yet); we can use PTO days if we want, and continue getting our full salary (I haven't decided yet); we keep our jobs. And the silver lining is: A 2-week break. A luxury.

Will I use the time wisely (paint a room? finally organize my dad's oil business stuff?) or squander it, is the real question. Gosh it'll be tempting to absolutely laze around. Finish my 1,000-page book and start the Jodi Picoult I ordered and picked up, curbside, last week. Watch Mrs. Maisel 8 hours a day (why can't I get that series going? I want to love it). Day drink. LOL Look what I found at Publix, speaking of:

Watermelon Rose? You'd better believe I grabbed that and its friend, Peach Rose.

Of course everyone knows being lazy isn't good on a long-term basis, and I guess the kids will still have school work to do (minus Spring Break, of course). So we'll see. I haven't told them yet, and am trying to figure out how to do that gently.

Eating:
We're fine on food. Eating mostly the same that we always do. About to run out of chicken breasts. Tonight is Taco Tuesday, if I can run out and get a tomato (or I might not, it isn't that critical). Health-wise, I am trying to not eat all the breads this week; I'm feeling bloated and like none of my shorts fit, and it's hot enough for shorts.

Doing:
We binged a season of Survivor; that is some good entertainment. Shawn and I used to watch it 18 years ago, and there's a reason it's lasted that long. The kids, especially Kate, really got into it, and it was fun and funny to develop feelings about the players. I think the Amazing Race would also be fun, if I can convince her to try it with me (Shawn and I also loved that one back in the day).

We've also been working on puzzle #1, and the kids are actually patient enough to have spent a lot of time on it. Color me surprised!

Neighbor-wise, we've been okay. Adrianna has a kiddie 4-wheeler, and wants Kate to ride it with her, and that's been a hard NO. We watched her drive it around the corner yesterday and nearly tip it over - she was going pretty fast - and now is not the time for a potetntial emergency room visit, (!!!) so yeah. No no no no no no and I don't feel one bit bad about it.

Kate and I went to Target yesterday for some necessities (like shorts that fit, ugh) and saw a dude there who was legitimately scary. I think because of coronavirus, he was dressed head-to-toe in black, with a long SKIRT (like a priest's cassock), black gloves, a wide-brimmed black hat, and a black mask covering most of his face, like a burka. !!!! What the What? BIZARRE.

Feeling:
Huh. Well, yesterday's aforementioned stomach-drop started a whole new set of emotions for me. We've all been saying "we're in this together," and now suddenly I'm not just praying for other people whose finances will take a little hit. I've been sleeping well, I think, but having some complicated dreams. Last night I finally think I got a really good night's rest; I can tell because I woke up with no dream memories.

Counting down to vacation, now... hope you're all well! xx

Dear Diary, again: Let's Go Shopping

I've enjoyed starting my days with a little journaling online, here. It falls into the "8 am - 9 am breakfast, email, planning" category on my calendar. Today I am BRISK CLAPping myself into a better mood.

I don't know if I will be outside as much: the pollen count has shot up in metro Atlanta, to 3,600 or thereabouts. Yikes. That is a lot of flipping pollen. So I have to decide which is worse, pet dander inside or yellow dust outside? We'll see. A puff on the inhaler may be penciled in for me this morning.

Right after I get up from the heating pad which is helping my lower back. I mean, sheesh, of all the injustices, working from home is the gift that's giving me back pain.

But I am not here to complain, for once. Today I will tell you about some things I have in various online shopping carts. Because what else can we do?

1. More yoga pants. Really, why do I only have 2 pairs, and both of them so old? This must be rectified immediately. I can't continue sitting around my own house (with a heating pad) in regular pants. (Any brand recommendations?)

2. More t-shirts. We are in a CRISIS, people, this is no time for Stitch Fix blouses.

3. Puzzles. When my family tried to do a puzzle 5 years ago, I went big with a 1500-piece. That was a mistake and we never finished it. Didn't even get close, and, defeated, we donated it. So I have a 550 and a 750 in my cart at Barnes & Noble; they're available for pickup at my local store (yay! maybe today!), and I happen to have a B&N gift card.

4. BeautyCounter "essence" and night cream. I love this set but they don't run out at the same rate, so I am needing a few things. These are totally unnecessary luxuries, but with a 10% off deal, I might just hit "Purchase."

5. Outdoor throw pillows. Since I only entertain my neighbors outdoors anymore, some pretty new pillows would freshen up the back patio nicely. I'd pair these with the 4 Adirondack chairs I've wanted for years, which I will buy for $20 each from Kroger, I hope.

6. My company actually makes these super-comfy tank tops, with the bra built in. No bra required! You need one (or 4). They're pricey, but worth it, believe me. They work for workouts, sleeping, or under Stitch Fix blouses. They run tight, so if you normally wear a size 10, I strongly recommend a 12.

What are you about to impulse-buy?

Week 2, Day 3 (I think. It's Wednesday, right?)

Nice things that have happened recently:

• I got a text from a friend asking how I was doing. It was just what I needed at just the right time and felt so good to be honest and say, "I'm not sure. I feel kinda sad today" etc.
• The rain stopped and it's around 68 degrees outside with lots of birdsong.
• I FaceTimed my Mom and Dad this morning at 10:15 just because I could.
• Hello Fresh brings groceries right to my door.
• Alex was part of this Virtual Band video - so cool! (You can't see him, but his name is in the credits and he did turn in the assignment for it.)

Some things that have not gone so great:

• Alex was frustrated about Algebra II (I don't blame him. That's a subject, IME, that you really do need a teacher for).
• Kate was frustrated about Social Studies AND Science assignments this morning, meaning she was talking (whining) to me about them and I couldn't get anything of my own work done.
• I feel scattered and unable to focus anyway.
• I am trying to set a schedule for myself each day; but then Shan pings me on Skype and it's during the time I was going to workout, so then I have to rearrange my schedule entirely.
• Ashley and kids were over here yesterday on the trampoline (I cheerily said last Sunday in a text message, after declining their dinner invite, "the trampoline is still open!") ... for one thing, it was so muddy out and I didn't want them tracking in mud, but then she offered to bring over wine, and I let her, and we had a few nice minutes on the back porch... but then her 1 year-old wanted to go inside (my house) and she assumed I wouldn't allow it, which (is mostly true, but because of the mud, too, not just the virus, and) made him cry, and then the whole thing was totally awkward and not fun.
• Nothing I want/need at the store is available for a pick-up order, so I'm going to have to go there in person and doing that lately makes me feel a little anxious. 

So. How are you? 

Week 2 Begins: The Same, But With Rain

It was better when the weather was good, last week. Yesterday it rained all day, and today promises the same, making us feel cooped up instead of on "vacation." I mean, of course it isn't a vacation, but you know.

I'm still super grateful for this time, whenever I think about it really. Yesterday was a tough one, though. Stress and discomfort are kind-of starting to pierce through, and it shows in arguments and frustrations with each other or with our work. But we'll get through it, I guess. Every day is a chance to try again.

What we ate:
Yesterday's fight was about lunch, because apparently I'd promised Chick Fil A drive-through. I did not recall ever saying that, and it was rainy and we have lots of food that needs to be eaten, so I refused. It did not turn out well. For dinner we made chicken tenders, green beans and roasted potatoes. We're not as snacky during the days as I thought we'd be, although we have plenty of snacks. However, we're dessert-y. ;) Yesterday since Kate didn't have much work to do, I asked her to make us Jell-O (orange).

We we did:
Not much. My workday was hijacked around 4:15 as my managers anticipated that the governor was going to shut Georgia down, and therefore we had to get ready. I scrambled to write a "COVID-19 update" email, then had to watch the press conference... then he didn't do what we thought. We decided to postpone until today. But even before that, my day was borked. Meetings in the morning, the CFA argument around noon, and then I couldn't focus after that. I didn't get much accomplished, I didn't workout really, and I felt meh. Alex worked more efficiently because he made himself a schedule. Shawn worked at his office. He's likely going to quit going to his gym for now, and Lana, who cuts our hair, called to cancel Shawn's appt this week.

How we felt: See above. I'm starting to wonder when we'll be able to go back to normal. Shawn brought up how the kids, at this time of their lives, are really supposed to be WITH other kids. It's going to mess with their development, we predict. And Alex's band director wrote a long email, addressing the seniors in particular. He wrote, "I hope we'll get to make music together again," and it made me cry.

Another thing: The world is providing all kinds of fun, free online entertainment and learning and "group chats" and stuff, but we aren't really taking advantage of any of it. I'm not sure why -- partly because it overwhelms me. Partly because I don't want to "impose" things on the kids by making them watch or do anything they don't want to. And then I think, "I'm not being a very good parent-leader." (Because maybe these things would help us all feel good.) So that's great.

Finally: I'm worried about my friend S., from Life of a Doctor's Wife! S., where are you? Are you okay?

One bright spot last night: AFV. People are still doing stupid things and recording them, and they (and their pets) make us laugh.

COVID Weekend 1

Gosh, I hope there won't be too many covid weekends. We had our first, though, and it was a relief.

What we did:
First of all, to put away my laptop in its bag, plus all of its wires and accoutrements -- a pen and pencil, my paper planner, my notebook, a box of labels I had used, the pillow for my back -- helped things look much more orderly. By Friday, I was itching to straighten up all the shoes and socks by the back door, papers on countertops, etc. With three of us here all day, that stuff just seemed to accumulate. Not to mention the dirt and fallen blossoms we kept tracking in from outside (we've been lucky to have good weather during this so far, so all of us have been outside and back in multiple times a day -- well, that's not true, Alex doesn't go outside as much as Kate and I do). So anyway, I cleaned downstairs first thing. I have been wiping doorknobs and light switch plates every day with a Clorox wipe, and will continue to do that, but a good full cleaning made me feel SO much better. Vacuumed, scrubbed the kitchen sink and counters, and put stuff away.

We signed our taxes and paid the CPAs. I took a nap Saturday after reading some of my book. I did a yoga video and painted my toenails.

The most memorable thing was a bummer of a conversation with my neighbor. She'd invited us to dinner. At first I said yes, but the more I thought about it, the more guilt crept in, and I felt like we really shouldn't be doing that. :( It was hard and I still feel bad, but she said she understood. I didn't mean that the kids couldn't play at all this week, but I think that's how she's going to take it. Maybe I'll have to send Kate over there at some point. It's just... all the articles say social distancing is not supposed to include dinner parties. Sigh. I don't know, maybe it was unkind of me - we humans need each other, after all - but it seemed like the right thing to do. I tried to let it go on my yoga mat, but apparently I'm still feeling bad about it.

On Sunday, Alex had his first private clarinet lesson. It seemed to go well and I'm happy he wants more instruction. We watched a couple of movies ("Big," and I will never again suggest an '80s movies to these kids, and "Dark Phoenix" which was pretty good). Sunday night after dinner we played a game of Carcassone.

What we ate:
On Saturday, we got take-out from Moe's for lunch, and Chili's for dinner. It felt like a little luxury. And on Sunday, instead of our neighbor's pot roast, we had a Hello Fresh meal (pork carnitas tacos, I liked them). We also made brownies. And Kate saw something online she wanted to try -- a frothy coffee cream (whipped by hand!) over a glass of milk. It was pretty yummy but took forever to whip! P.S. I have let any and all discipline about eating go out the window.

How we felt:
Mostly normal, and good. I think some of the stress of the work-week dissipated. Shawn got out in the yard and that made him feel better to Do Something; introverted me didn't mind being home reading at all!

I'm really not looking forward to work this week. I love working at home, but I'm not motivated on this Monday morning. We will see what the day holds. Kate supposedly won't have any new assignments until Tuesday (gah). She has been instructed to read a book and practice piano. I have a meeting with Shan at 9:00, and then a full staff meeting at 10:30.

Pandemic Diaries: Days 4 and 5

Yesterday was a busy one, and different; I met Shan at the office for some work we couldn't do from home (printing a mailing on letterhead that had been delivered to us there). It was nice to see friends, but I did feel weird about being with other people. We worked about 3 hours, then went to lunch - took it to go, sat outside.

Adrianna comes over in the afternoons. We haven't invited her, I mean - she just comes over and rings the doorbell. I still don't feel great about it. On Day 3, we all went on a hike together (except Alex, who was in the middle of clarinet recordings). We continue reading that "this is not the time for playdates!" but... I know the kids are bored, and I know the mom next door needs a break sometimes - they also have an 18-month old. Still, I don't like it and don't really want to host Adrianna every single day of this 2-week stint. But there's no nice way to say that, especially now that I've already allowed it to happen. They play outside a good bit, but also inside. I don't know. Probably someday soon the governor WILL order people to stay at home, like California has just done, and then it will be a given (I hope). I think sometimes Adrianna leaves the house without asking her mom. :/

What we've eaten:
All the usual stuff. Kate made pasta for her lunch yet again yesterday (I was at the office or I'd have stopped her). It's fine, it's fine, and yet... save the stuff that will keep, child. Today we should get a Hello Fresh box and i'm happy about that. But tonight we plan to order and pickup from Chili's. I guess to support them? I'm not exactly sure - Shawn's driving that. I guess that means Alex, at least, will eat meat, even though it's Lent. We're all forgetting about Lent. I'm eating cookies and not feeling guilt. Comfort food. Bah.

Activities:
Yesterday Kate had a poem as one of her assignments, and she complained like it was a 12-page math packet. I would have LOVED to have a whole day to work on a poem! (I think my dream job is POET.) But she just wanted it DONE. It was so odd to me, that she fought against that.

We've played some frisbee in the backyard (already getting mosquito bites from it, though, gah), and Kate took another walk with the neighbors. On Day 3 I think, we had lunch on the front porch, which was fun. Reminded me of days off when they were little.

How we feel:
Stress is showing itself in different ways. Mine is that I can't do all the housework and the work-work that needs doing. When I WFH for a day, I can tell myself I don't HAVE to do any housework. But home for a full week, that feeling starts to fade and the house looks a mess with all of us here. There was a small fight (and a large tantrum) about butter (we don't have much, and someone wanted to use it up to make Oreo truffles). Shawn is shopping at Costco with a coworker today and is instructed to look for it. I'm looking forward to stuffing envelopes today, finishing a movie, and sitting outside with my laptop for a while. My back still hurts, but I am trying to workout (already at 165 minutes for this week, if I include the hike, which I do even though it was slow). My wrists also hurt - the laptop keyboard isn't as ergonomically correct as the regular erg keyboard at the office. Boo for that. Oh, also, cat allergies are a little more apparent when you're at home with the cats all day. One reason I'll be outside more today.

It sounds like a lot of complaints, but we're healthy, we're fine, we now have MEATS because I braved WalMart yesterday. I feel much better, grocery-wise. And I had good phone chats with Mom and Dad yesterday.

So, happy weekend. I am eager to take a break from actual work-work, clean some surfaces, play some Uno, enjoy some wine, and just chill.

It's Day 3

The news continues: more cases reported in Georgia, every state now reporting at least one. Several states have closed restaurants/bars and entertainment venues. Ours hasn't; in fact, Shan told me she and her husband had decided to order food every day from a different local restaurant to try to help them out. Good idea, maybe, but I'd go broke and also gain 30 poounds if we did that.

I'm trying to eat the fresh things first, so leftovers and salads before making anything from the pantry. Because we are not having much luck buying groceries. We'd gone shopping last Friday, but there was no meat in the meat department. Still isn't. I picked up from Kroger yesterday and they didn't have any of the meat I'd ordered, not even canned chicken. WalMart said they had the product, but didn't have a pickup time available. I'm going to have to go there in person, I guess. Which is fine, but we just want to do the right thing and stay home as much as possible.

This morning I'm standing up at the kitchen counter for the first hour of work. The kids aren't up yet (they should be). My back is killing me from sitting in my unsupportive dining room chairs yesterday.

What we ate:
Breakfast - everyone was on his or her own yesterday, although I did bake banana bread late Monday.
Lunch - I made a plate of leftovers. Kate made herself mac and cheese, which is when I explained to her about eating fresh/leftovers first. She went, "Ohhhhhhhh." I think she got it.
Dinner - I thought I was going to make chicken enchiladas with some pre-cooked chicken I had in the fridge. But the chicken smelled bad, so it was black bean enchiladas instead. Pantry item, check. The enchilada sauce was too hot for Kate; Alex managed it. We also had some avocados that would have gone bad, so I made a really good guacamole... but we are out of Tostitos. Then, a stroke of brilliance! I made baked chips from some corn tortillas we had. They weren't great, but they scooped the guac adequately.

What we did:
School work for the kids. There was a 6th-grade math meltdown. Perfectly timed, too, while I was on a Skype call (my only one of the day yesterday, naturally). It got worked out, but there was also a Come To Jesus about me not being a teacher, but I will try to help you as best I can, and this is going to be strange and difficult for all of us, and your attitude needs to improve if we want to get through it. Sigh. I hated to have that talk, but it needed to be done. Someone does not take "help" very well. It was only the first (2nd) day! Gah.

Otherwise, I don't think we were particularly great about taking breaks and keeping a routine. I mean, I did... but I am trying to let the kids schedule themselves, and I don't think they did it right. Ha. Kate, I know, tried to do more than just one day's work - she wants to finish it early and then have free time. They both might have taken breaks yesterday, but they weren't mental health breaks, they were device breaks. So, an hour of work, and then a half hour of Tik Tok or reddit. Hrm. We might have to discuss that again. We did manage a trampoline session, and laughed a lot by trying not to laugh. ;) Best part of the day and the weather was perfect! Our neighbor's daughter came outside and she and Kate played for a few minutes. I was hesitant about letting her into the house (are we supposed to do that? not really, I don't think). I felt crazy to hesitate, but I did.

How we felt:
See above. We're trying to settle into all this, but there were a couple of hiccups and we're not quite there yet. I think Shawn feels nearly panicked about groceries. I don't feel like working; would much rather do long yoga videos and read my book ("World Without End," a gigantic novel by Ken Follett, perfect for a quarantine.)

Pandemic Diary 2020: Day 2

A lot changed between last Friday and yesterday; namely, my boss who was not that serious about all this COVID-19 stuff, got serious. So now we ARE on a 2-week Work From Home directive.

My first thought is, of course, Hallelujah! What I've often longed for, an expanded WFH schedule! And it will make it easier for me to keep tabs on the kids as they try to do school from home. But the reason for it feel quites a bit less like happy news. Ah, well, so be it. We try to be grateful in spite of circumstances, right?

We had a good day yesterday. I was quite productive, I thought, and it made it interesting to have the extra task of writing our COVID letter and then posting it and sending it in all the relevant online channels. I felt needed, and useful, and like I was Doing Something For the Good of Everyone Involved. That was nice. Got lots of compliments on the letter, too.

I thought it'd be easiest, going forward, to do a daily recap of these days, kind-of like so:

What we ate:
Breakfast - Kate made us Oreo waffles in her latest impulse-buy, a mini-waffle maker. She got it with birthday money. Actually they were very yummy and I appreciated having plenty that we could package up for the freezer in These Food-Strange Times.
Lunch - We had to go up to St. Joe's to get some of Kate's books; they had opened for that purpose from 1-3pm. So on the way home, we stopped at Subway. I felt like we were going to get in trouble for going into a restaurant, and tried to propose fast food with a drive-through window, but we'd had enough of that on our road trip, so Subway (vegetables!) it was. I had a stern talk with Kate, though, that all these days coming up were not "days off" and we couldn't have lunch out every day (or ever, maybe, depending on what our state decides as far as restaurants/bars closing, like some states have done).
Dinner - Spaghetti and meatballs, of course. Pantry food if ever there was. I presume lots of people also ate spaghetti on Day One.

What we did:
Just drove to get the books/lunch. Alex came with us, to get out of the house for a minute. Kate, after her breakfast making, started a tie dye project (gah with the messy projects!). She did a t-shirt and shoelaces, outside in the backyard thank goodness, while I was on my first conference call of the day. Later she painted her nails -- a big deal because normally she isn't allowed (Catholic school uniform rules). Alex worked on homework. For band, he's having to record himself practicing his clarinet. Every Day. We didn't do any board games or other group activities. Not sure we will. It's a little different with bigger kids, you know? I've told them (a thousand times, by Kate's estimation) that they're going to need to develop some kind of routine, to get through this. We'll see if they do. *I* need to develop a routine, too, or I'll sit at the kitchen table at my computer muuuuch longer than necessary/healthy. We also went outside and played a little basketball, until we broke our ball pump. It was kinda chilly out.

How we felt:
I actually felt like it was a great day. I was glad to have interesting work, the kids stayed occupied, it's all novel and new at the moment. My only complaint was Ash the cat walking over my laptop several times. He deleted a big section of something I was working on, at one point! Naughty! (I got it back.) Kate and I even did a Pahla B workout in the evening -- important for mental health. I like/recommend P. B., but not her "walking for weight loss" or her "31 days" videos. Those are boring. The ones with weights, or "cardio + abs" or "cardio + strength" are great.

Hope your days are going well so far. Today should be interesting as Kate starts having actual work to do.

Pandemic Diary 2020: Day 1-ish

I feel like this coronavirus shutdown of the U.S. is a prime opportunity for blogging! Blogs are all we'll have! When we're so sick of reading news and analysis and non-official social media posts making us think they ARE official, we'll need our bloggers to lighten the mood a bit, right? We'll need each other's voices, to feel like a community. We'll need to commisserate about being at home with our kids! Just like the original mommy-blog days! Also, it's the right thing to do to preserve these strange days for historians of the future.

I have about 15 minutes this morning -- well, I have more than that, I'm working from home -- to jot down a few thoughts, and then I have to get to work writing my company's COVID-19 letter to customers. This is how it is when you're a Marketing Communications Specialist in the year 2020!

So. Last week on Thursday, March 12, 2020, Cobb County, GA made the decision to close schools starting today, for an indefinite length of days. Kate's Catholic school (St Joseph Catholic School -- I feel like I need named details for history, even though this is an anonymous blog and private, but you know?) followed suit on Friday, although they already had Friday and today as holidays, so they won't "start" until tomorrow. Both systems declared there will be online distance learning and that these will not be "days off." We're lucky that our school is in an area where it's not a problem for most families (they have internet, and computers, generally), but the county said they would deliver equipment and materials to students who do not have access to them at home -- interesting).

I had already planned to work from home today but now I'm hopeful I will be working home all week -- we'll see, though. My boss hasn't said that, specifically. He has said he wants us to "feel comfortable," and if we don't feel comfortable coming to the office, that's okay, but I feel like that's a non-answer. I wish he would say, "If you have the means to work from home (a laptop), then please do that." It seems to be what most companies are telling employees. Shawn's already left for work. He doesn't really have a job that can be done at home much, or so we've thought all these years. Maybe they'll change their tune after this (but I doubt it).

Last Friday, we drove 4 hours to go visit my MIL in Savannah. The plans were on the books already, and she lives alone and we hadn't seen her in ages. And it was her birthday. I wasn't sure we should, but I also didn't feel like there was any serious danger. We wouldn't be in any crowds, just seeing family -- her, and also my BIL and SIL and their 3 girls. And that's who we did see. We went out to lunch on Saturday. Should we have? Don't know for sure, but there were plenty of other people out and about - of course it was St Patrick's Day weekend in Savannah, so some were tourists and others were locals who are used to this being a celebratory weekend. We did sit outdoors, on purpose, so as not to be too closed in with others.  (At least in my mind, that's why we sat outdoors.) It was a beautiful, sunny day and around 74 degrees, so that was pleasant.

Some of my questions about all this include:

• Will the kids at St Joe's finish their standaradized testing, which was supposed to be going on this week? 
• Will the schools try to add on a few days at the end of the year?
• Will the social distancing be over by then, or will our summer camp also close? 
• Will the online learning be successful, or will the kids finish all the work quickly and then do nothing most of these days off? 
• Will Alex get to take his AP exam on time, and will he do as well as he'd have done without the weird interruption in class-time? 
• Will Kate do better at home if I'm here, helping her stay on task, or if I go to my office? Sometimes she gets things done on days when I'm NOT here (no one to whine to)...
• Will we have enough food, actually? We did some shopping and stocking up, but need a few additional things (meat -- the store was completely out of meat last Friday when Shawn went).
• After 14 days, will we all be expected to go back to normal? Will this "work?" Will it actually be safe then, or will we have more cases pop up? 
• Do I have enough hand soap?
• Do I have enough coffee?

I need to get to work, but more to follow.

In Concert: A little update on our eldest

Last night, I was struck very emotionally about how dad-gum GROWN Alex looked on-stage:

Seriously, click to make larger and see just how handsome he is. ;) The new haircut helps, some, too, but this is a kid! A mere child! Okay, he's 15 and a half, but how and when exactly did that happen?! I just couldn't quite believe it. There was a sense of "this is what he will look like as an adult" and I did not enter that theater expecting such a vision.

I was so glad to go listen to him play, and gosh, I'm thankful for this school. Public school is AMAZING in our district/county. This music program blows me away -- the concert last night was thisclose to being as good as any symphony orchestra I've heard. The music was so difficult! It's just all kinds of impressive.

And it chokes a mom up, especially when she's sitting safely (intentionally) by herself and allows the little tears to well right up because no one is watching.

One other thing I want to remember: He was excited about the third piece on the program because he said, "It's just fun to play." And ahhhhhhh, that got me in the heart! To know the Joy of music is something I dearly, dearly wished for my kids. Afterwards he told me "I'll miss playing that one." Just.. sighhhhh. So happy. He actually practices these days. He wants to learn more, get better -- has even asked to start clarinet lessons, despite being worried about the cost (good-hearted). YES, that is happening. Spare no expense! Bring it on.

As a update from the last post, his braces are half on (bottom half comes next), and so far we cannot even tell he has them. He has a kind-of narrow-lipped smile, anyway, but I seriously forget because I NEVER SEE them (they're clear). Whew. Hopefully he isn't bothered by them and they will do their work and allow an impacted tooth to fall where it's supposed to, thus negating the need for mouth surgery. Eek. Please please please.

And in other facial news, he has his own razor now and has used it. What the what?! Yeah.

Two more driving sessions with the instructor to go; he still has to wait until at least August before getting his license, but he's getting better every time I ride with him. It still scares the heck out of me, but not quite as much as it did at first.

He's writing a paper on "Things Fall Apart" today, for his AP history/literature class. That first AP exam is coming up in a few weeks. I think he's somewhat interested in what's happening in politics this year. And he chose his electives for his JUNIOR YEAR.

Hard to believe. The days are long but the years are indeed so very, painfully short.

What's Up? I Don't Feel Like Working...

...even though I only have to work until noon today. I am having an afternoon off, yay, while Alex has a doctor's appointment (see below).

Our menu this week:

Sunday - Easy frozen chicken patty sandwiches, with fries and broccoli salad for me.

Monday - Totally stolen from S., we had Foil Pack Cajun Chicken and Veggies. (Thanks for the idea!) Except I used Baby Bella mushrooms instead of zucchini. Served with rice. This was mostly a hit, although the mushrooms were scooted to the sides of the kids' plates and left there, and Kate still finds anything with chili powder "spicy." It is NOT spicy, I swear. I was glad it was somewhat healthy and I LOVE mushrooms (and ate their extras, ha).

Tuesday - Crock pot Loaded Potato Soup, in honor of Alex who is getting braces on his teeth (again) today, and needs soft foods for a day or 2. Poor buddy. He'll likely be 17 by the time they come off, and we hate that for him, but he'll thank us later. I tell him he'll have beautiful teeth for the rest of his life.

Note: Jell-o for dessert, or King Cake for Mardi Gras, because it's my last day of dessert -- I'm giving it up for Lent. YES. Goodbye, dessert. It's a discipline, not a diet (she insists). ;)

Wednesday - Breaded tilapia (ha ha, frozen fish sticks) tacos for the grown-ups, served plain for the kids with mac and cheese and green beans (or applesauce if Alex prefers). Ash Wednesday meatless favorite! Get ready for more meatless meals on Fridays until Easter, woo. (If we remember.)

Thursday - Chili over rice. Alex's fave, and soft.

Friday - I'll be driving Kate across town for a 2-night church retreat with a friend of hers, so the boys will have to fend for themselves. Or perhaps I'll pick something up on the way home, who knows.

We'll receive our box of 2 HF meals on Friday, as well, which we'll probably have Sunday/Monday next week. I've chosen Crispy Mozzarella Crusted Chicken and Bacon and Cream Supreme Spaghetti. Sounds good to me!

Now that I think about it, I have very little time to get through a lot of work tasks this morning, so I'd better run! Gah. Work.

Before and After: Foyer and Upstairs Hallway

Nothing like having guests to make you clean-slash-decorate your house real quick. The very night that I wrote here about being anxious to hang stuff up, I went home and hung stuff up, because Kate's birthday sleepover was imminent. Not that the 12-year-old girls cared, but I did. And now I have photos to show you!

Before, foyer:

After, foyer (no new decor, just a much nicer color):

Before, upstairs hallway gallery wall. I never hated this wall, but I wasn't pleased with how unmatched and chaotic everything was.

After, upstairs gallery wall. Much calmer, matching frames (new floral art from Kirkland's on sale for $15!), lovely warm color.

 

I have since added 5x7s to that one frame that was empty: sweet baby pictures of both kids, that hadn't seen the light of day or been displayed, ever. 

Note our stupidly positioned light switches/outlets. The whole house is like this, with switchplates (even thermostats) in the middles of walls. We cannot understand why the builder did this. Note also the wreath: Ash the cat was verrrrry interested in it at first. From downstairs, we heard a loud, scratchy attempt to jump up and attack it. Only happened once, though, and thank goodness he didn't scratch up the newly painted walls, or he'd have been In Trouble (what does that mean, exactly, with a cat? Nothing). Finally, here's an example of, why we can't have a house that looks like Southern Living magazine: Nestled in the bottom of the wreath now is a Yoda figurine. Pretty sure that was Shawn's doing. It's fine, no one's going to see it but us, and it made me laugh. But still. I try and I try.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

We're in the middle of the week already, yay! Kate and I had Monday off, and I needed it, to continue recovering from her birthday party. Not to be dramatic, but it nearly killed me. Walking up and down the mall while the girls did their scavenger hunt was not what I had envisioned. I'd envisioned bringing a book and letting them go by themselves, and check-in with me every so often. But the little girl in Kate is not yet ready for full independence, so she asked me to walk.... behind them. Ha! Wants me enough to keep her safe, but not to actually BE with her! Anyway, I needed that extra day. 

Alex is in driver's ed this week, poor kid. He has the whole week off school, but is, in fact, going to school Mon - Thurs. It's a county program and has to be done, but I feel for him. 

Both kids were starting to have sniffly noses and sore throats on Monday-Tuesday, but I think we have sufficiently headed off anything worse (knock on wood knock on wood). 

And we're eating easy, but yummy meals - nothing I need a recipe for (skipped Hello Fresh this week):

Sunday - Angel Hair pasta w/meatballs, salad, and garlic bread

Monday - Burrito bowls with chicken, black beans, salsa, corn, etc. 

Tuesday - Ham, steamed broccoli, pasta salad and crescent rolls

Wednesday - I'm going to pick up a rotisserie or fried chicken, and make mashed potatoes and corn

Thursday - I think this is going to be a Leftovers on Parade kind of night.

Friday - Tetrazini (from the freezer), green beans and rolls

Twitter, weekend, and decor

I have been spending a lot of time on Twitter. I used to pooh-pooh it, having plenty enough social media and long-ago schoolmates to deal with, thank you very much, on ye old Facebook. But I don't know, over the last couple of years Twitter has become more interesting to me. And much more tiring. Of course I know it's where most of the angry bots live, and of course I recognize that the feed is curated mostly by Twitter's weird algorithm so that I don't see what I signed up to see, but instead the various Likes of other Twitterers that I may or may not even know I'm following.

It's awful, is what I'm saying.

But why am I drawn to awful? Why do I keep going back for more? Sure, there is some funny stuff mixed in, and some heartwarming stuff -- do visit @emrgencykittens, @alyssalimp, @facespics and @mecookiemonster for some completely banal entertainment. I don't follow any particularly volatile accounts, just people or entities that I like, such as TV shows and 2006-era mommy bloggers. And a little news (NPR, Dan Rather, my local NBC affiliate) to stay informed. Still, it eats away at my brain and makes me feel bad when I click away, and then an hour later, open it up again. WHY, dopamine? So stupid.

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Guess what? We did NOT have a so-busy-I-have-to-blog-it week, or weekend! No juggling whatsoever, except Shawn taking a half-day Friday to hang out with Kate who had a half-day. It was just regular: work, school, and that's it. No band events! No drama club! Shan was away Thursday and Friday, making my work time even more gentle. This weekend I got my hair cut and colored, long overdue -- while it snowed!! -- took Kate to watch the 8th grade girls' basketball game at CTK (I thought we were through driving for bball this season, but nope - actually it was fun), and we had dinner at Chili's, the ultimate in lazy weekend ideas. I was supposed to go to a friend's for girls' wine night, but it got postponed. I was glad.

Friday night, the kids both played piano in the annual Federation (of Music Clubs') solo and hymns competition, and scored all Superiors! YAY! More and more, I'm glad of these types of things that Alex will be able to add to his college applications. (Eeeeek. He hasn't yet begun talking to us about it. I only hope he's started THINKING about it, but I have no idea.) But also because working hard at something, feeling nervous, and then having to be brave and perform in front of a judge is just good life experience.

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Yesterday I got twitchy about my newly painted, but as-yet-unfinished walls. The new grays are beautiful, but I'd like to hang pictures back up at some point. However, it's too hard to make decisions about which pictures and where. We have SO many frames, but many of them aren't that pretty. And yet, I don't want them to "go to waste." We have tons of wall space, particularly in the hallway upstairs. But every time I start thinking about it, I get overwhelmed for some reason. I want it to look planned and lovely, not random and "college-apartment." It doesn't help that many of my friends here in the suburbs have professionally decorated homes. Bleh. Kate helped me, though, and we went to Kirkland's to buy a new "focal point" picture (they were having a great sale). I think we have at least one of the walls figured out, now we just need to do the hanging.

The wall going up the stairs is the hardest, to me. I can't figure out how high to hang things there. I know I need 3 new frames that match, for that space. The question is what to showcase there. Family photos? Or pretty prints/paintings? WHY is it so hard to commit to a nail in the wall?! SO. HARD.