...completely bitchy!
WHY DOES MY COWORKER EAT THE SAME THREE CRRRRRRUNCHIEST FOODS IN THE UNIVERSE,
every
single
day
??!?!???!
10:30, Bavarian Pretzels.
11:30, lunch with approximately 29 tortilla chips.
2:30, a nice, cold apple from the fridge.
He may as well be grinding concrete with a jackhammer, the way my ears react to it.
I miss walls.
P.S. Let me clarify this for everyone, just in case -- People should be allowed to eat apples. Others of my dear coworkers eat apples and it bothers me not. I ate an apple just yesterday. They're good for you and full of fiber. Eat! Fruit is a miracle and proof of God! But THIS particular coworker POPS! the big bite off with his top teeth, then peels the piece off into his OPEN MOUTH, then closes his chompers onto it. That is very different from plainly, *politely* enjoying a red delicious. Ahem. / rant
Wednesday, April 26
honestly, thankfully, attentively...
Those words, via Toni's old blog, have inspired me for more than a year now. They're taped to the cabinet in my little cubicle, right where I can see them. :)
Monday as I was going around my round, trying to squeeze in all the daily tasks like Swiffering the floors (sooo dirty with warmer weather and playing outside), dusting the furniture, folding little sockies (and sockies and sockies), paying bills (and bills and bills), I tried, really tried, to remain thankful. Thank You, for the fact that I HAVE these days at home when I really should be working 7 hours straight for WORK, but Thank You, that I sometimes don't. Thank You, for the secrecy of not being watched or made to post my time. Thank You, for giving me such a beautiful child whose socks I'm folding. Thank You, for the money to pay for a new bottle of Tide since I see we're running low today. Thank You, for a husband who isn't a slob, who motivates me just by being himself, to clean up my crap.
It's like a mantra. Or like that form of prayer, what's it called? Centering Prayer -- where you just repeat and focus on one word. Jesus. Jesus. Or, Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Saying it was a comfort Monday, even while I felt hurried, pushed to get all that home-caring stuff knocked off my list. (Also made me feel better while doing work-work.)
Honest about my feelings. Church Choir. Not happy. Not making me happy to go there anymore. After we break for the summer, I'm out. Finished. No -- maybe not forever, just... suspended for a time. I really need this time, every bit that I can soak up, to be with AJ and my husband. You just don't get time back, and if it isn't making me happy, I can't continue to spend it. And honestly? I do feel like I'm missing out on something. When DH and I were just starting to date seriously, we did go to church together. We held hands during the homily. We gave each other the Kiss of Peace (one of the major benefits of being married, I think, is KNOWING that you'll turn to your spouse FIRST for the Kiss of Peace, don't you think? Instead of wondering, "Do I go left or right? Is the person to my left alone? Because if so, I'll turn to the left." Hee.) I just value worshipping together; however zoned out we are on a given Sunday, at least we're there, next to each other, hearing the same message and breathing the same incensed air. And yes, we're still together if I'm in the choir area while he's in the pews... but it's not the same. It's not "family" time, in my mind. Instead it's me, Apart from them. No good. It'll be hard to tell my choir buddies and the director, but oh well. I'll just have to take a deep breath and tell him. He'll have to live with it.
Last night I had Not-Book-Club with 2 friends, Nancy and Jennifer (we were a bit disabled by illness and babysitter issues, usually we have about 8) and it was wonderful. Although, for the 2nd month in a row, I get an "F" in Book Club for not even BUYING the book. Sigh. I am going to be more dedicated to this from now on. Attentive. Because one of the best things in the entire WORLD is a good book discussion, and I want to help create those. Despite our BC handicaps (Amy Tan's Saving Fish from Drowning was determined to be not as good as her other books, and much too character-heavy -- we talked about it exactly 14 minutes I think), we had a great time. It is such a blessing to have friends you can count on, for advice and support and wine. :) And I'm not just saying this because I told them about my blog and they might be reading. (hi, guys!) I'm saying it because one of my great weaknesses is being inattentive to my friendships. And I need torememdyremedy that.
Edited: evidently another great weakness is typing. rememdy. Ha.
Monday as I was going around my round, trying to squeeze in all the daily tasks like Swiffering the floors (sooo dirty with warmer weather and playing outside), dusting the furniture, folding little sockies (and sockies and sockies), paying bills (and bills and bills), I tried, really tried, to remain thankful. Thank You, for the fact that I HAVE these days at home when I really should be working 7 hours straight for WORK, but Thank You, that I sometimes don't. Thank You, for the secrecy of not being watched or made to post my time. Thank You, for giving me such a beautiful child whose socks I'm folding. Thank You, for the money to pay for a new bottle of Tide since I see we're running low today. Thank You, for a husband who isn't a slob, who motivates me just by being himself, to clean up my crap.
It's like a mantra. Or like that form of prayer, what's it called? Centering Prayer -- where you just repeat and focus on one word. Jesus. Jesus. Or, Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Saying it was a comfort Monday, even while I felt hurried, pushed to get all that home-caring stuff knocked off my list. (Also made me feel better while doing work-work.)
Honest about my feelings. Church Choir. Not happy. Not making me happy to go there anymore. After we break for the summer, I'm out. Finished. No -- maybe not forever, just... suspended for a time. I really need this time, every bit that I can soak up, to be with AJ and my husband. You just don't get time back, and if it isn't making me happy, I can't continue to spend it. And honestly? I do feel like I'm missing out on something. When DH and I were just starting to date seriously, we did go to church together. We held hands during the homily. We gave each other the Kiss of Peace (one of the major benefits of being married, I think, is KNOWING that you'll turn to your spouse FIRST for the Kiss of Peace, don't you think? Instead of wondering, "Do I go left or right? Is the person to my left alone? Because if so, I'll turn to the left." Hee.) I just value worshipping together; however zoned out we are on a given Sunday, at least we're there, next to each other, hearing the same message and breathing the same incensed air. And yes, we're still together if I'm in the choir area while he's in the pews... but it's not the same. It's not "family" time, in my mind. Instead it's me, Apart from them. No good. It'll be hard to tell my choir buddies and the director, but oh well. I'll just have to take a deep breath and tell him. He'll have to live with it.
Last night I had Not-Book-Club with 2 friends, Nancy and Jennifer (we were a bit disabled by illness and babysitter issues, usually we have about 8) and it was wonderful. Although, for the 2nd month in a row, I get an "F" in Book Club for not even BUYING the book. Sigh. I am going to be more dedicated to this from now on. Attentive. Because one of the best things in the entire WORLD is a good book discussion, and I want to help create those. Despite our BC handicaps (Amy Tan's Saving Fish from Drowning was determined to be not as good as her other books, and much too character-heavy -- we talked about it exactly 14 minutes I think), we had a great time. It is such a blessing to have friends you can count on, for advice and support and wine. :) And I'm not just saying this because I told them about my blog and they might be reading. (hi, guys!) I'm saying it because one of my great weaknesses is being inattentive to my friendships. And I need to
Edited: evidently another great weakness is typing. rememdy. Ha.
Monday, April 24
Things I love:
- As mentioned in a comment I made TO MY OWN POST (I am so cool!): Jonathan Antin. Okay, so he's not a "thing," exactly, but his Image is. His "brand." His themesong -- which, incidentally, is "It's Your THANG" (Isley Brothers, go look it up at iTunes). Anyway, I could eat him up. He's delicious and so Uber-Self-Focused I can't even stand him... but somehow I'm also mesmerized by him. He is an Entity. Anyone else have an opinion about the EGO who's (humbly) "just a guy who does hair?" Or is it just me? I have to tell you, my husband wants to BE Jonathan. And yet he calls it, "One of those dumb shows you make me watch." Ha.
- Turn right, 180 degrees. On a completely different note! I love The British. We had a visiting bishop from England at Mass yesterday and I could just listen to him all day while he repeats the word "Ev-ah-laHHHst-ing." He was also SO very gracious and Thanked everyone at the end of the liturgy, including "the Choi-ah-MAHster and the choi-ah." We were so proud. Y'know, our pastor, as much as I like him, has been Pastor with a capital P for more than 8 years now at St. J's, and he's QUITE forgotten about thanking people. You'd think that after the 3-HOUR Easter Vigil, he might have said some itty bitty bit of thanks to the altar servers, Eucharistic ministers, lectors, and choir who all put sooo much into making the service nice for the newly baptized. But he didn't. Anyway, I LOVE English clergy. (I pretended I was in a little English church in the country. Episcopal, yo. It's a fantasy of mine.)
- Neat bedrooms. And by that I mean Tidy. DH cleaned up AJ's room this weekend since it was his turn to vacuum, and man, does it look great. Books all lined up nicely, with all the Little Golden Book foil spines together and all the Touch and Feel Series spines together... train-sets lovingly displayed and blocks stacked, changing table shelves masterfully organized... it's like before AJ was born! We're trying to teach him how to clean up before bedtime. Ha, ha. I wonder: when they get old enough to understand, do you have to let 'em have their mess until, say, the weekend? Or can you say, "Clean up this pig-sty RIGHT NOW!" every evening? Hee hee.
- Five-dollar stuffed animals. Is the Disney Store re-imagined? I thought all the Disney Stores shut down, but it appears they've revamped. We went to the mall on Saturday and we found one. In its window sat a $5-Bear (in the Big Blue House). FIVE! It was placed carefully at AJ's stroller level and I spotted it. DH was ahead of me so I called his NAME -- which I never say, I always call him "Honey." With that, he knew it must be Important, and he went right in and paid with Cash. AJ is in love. When I put him to bed Saturday night, I handed him is blankies and his pacifier as is S.O.P., but he reached instead for Bear's hand, and pulled the new best friend to him to snuggle up. So cute! I love the new Disney Store.
Friday, April 21
Gratitude Friday
Today I am grateful for ~ The time I took to work out yesterday. I'm once again motivated to get with it and get myself in shape, and the sore muscles all along my obliques and lower abs tell me that "Yeah! I did it!" I'm grateful that my knees only hurt a little bit when I go down the stairs, but it's not cool that they hurt at all, so, yay! workout! burn that butter! ~ Fresh veggies. I went to the market yesterday and bought yellow summer squash, red bell pepper, green bell pepper (which AJ called "gee app-ple" hee hee), and sweet onions, and grilled 'em with our steaks. One thing I realized about eating healthy is that it does take some time and effort. Time to chop the veggies. To cook the brown rice (vs. Minute Rice or... Pizza Hut). Time to Pack a Lunch instead of relying on Wendy's. I don't know how I'm going to squeeze those behaviors in, but I'm grateful for the hope of being able to. ~ Steady work. I've got a to-do list on my desk at the office and it's full, but not scary-overwhelming. I think it's just enough to fill 8 hours. ~ Rain the last couple of days, to water our gardens and keep the pollen counts down. Hubby is going through his annual bout of hayfever and he's been miserable! But, less so yesterday, because it was damp and the dust and pollen were washed away a bit. ~ Also grateful for Claritin. ~ A vacation to look forward to. It's just 2 days, but I've had an awful lot of fun thinking about it since Wednesday! As in, when I think about it I smile and my heart gets a little fluttery. Isn't that silly? But, oh, my Soul needs rejuvinating in that romantical way, and I'm so grateful for the anticipation. :)
Thursday, April 20
A meme of themes, on Shuffle!
This is pretty cool. You're supposed to put your iPod on Shuffle and answer the questions below using whatever title pops up as you read the questions out loud. Hey, heyyy, it's 21st-century Magic 8 Ball! No cheating! I found it at Laylabean. Go look at some of the other ones that she references: funny stuff!
So here goes nothing, let's see *exactly* who I am... shuffle... and... go!
1. How does the world see you?
Let Me Love Tonight (Harry Connick Jr). Hmm. Really? Then I need to get some new silky pajamas. Yikes.
2. Will I have a happy life?
HAHAHA! Lollipops and Roses (Herb Alpert & Tiijuana Brass) Awesome. :)
3. What do my friends really think of me?
Reach Up For the Sunrise (Duran Duran) Aw, thanks friends.
4. Do people secretly lust after me?
Mandy (Barry Manilow) Oh well. Can't compete with Mandy!
5. How can I make myself happy?
Surround (Dada) No kidding, y'all. That's how it answered me. (Obviously iPod wants me to surround myself with all you wonderful friends and family.) Freaky-deaky.
6. What should I do with my life?
Gloria (U2) SING! See! I should be a diva and Sing Gloria! I knew it! If only the church gig paid better.
7. Will I ever have children?
Whipped Cream (Herb Alpert) Um. What?
8. What is some good advice for me?
Where the Streets Have No Name. (U2) I'm thinking maybe I don't have as much variety in my listening library as I thought I did.
9. How will I be remembered?
Get Me Out of Here (Billy Pilgrim) I will be remembered for complaining about work. Heh.
10. What is my signature song?
Blue Highway (Billy Idol) ...at least my husband will be proud that I've chosen a Billy Idol song. Otherwise I have no idea. It's a song about riding motorcycles. Uh, yeah.
11. What do I think my current theme song is?
Weather With You (Crowded House) Nice. Probably true. "Walking round the room, singing stormy weather, at 57 Mt. Pleasant Street..."
12. What does everyone else think my current theme song is?
Always & Forever (My Dad is Dead) One of my favorite lines is this: "Maybe it's dumb luck, 'cause my luck has never been too sharp... things can change, they don't have to stay the same..."
13. What song will play at my funeral?
Night and Day (Esquivel) Cheesey on top of Cheese. I love it. Everybody samba!
14. What types of men/women do I like?
Are you With Me? (Color) Only the ones like me, evidently. I hope that isn't true.
15. What kind of day will I have?
Whipped Cream. Sigh. At least I did my workout today. All this whipped cream is getting kinda out of hand.
So here goes nothing, let's see *exactly* who I am... shuffle... and... go!
1. How does the world see you?
Let Me Love Tonight (Harry Connick Jr). Hmm. Really? Then I need to get some new silky pajamas. Yikes.
2. Will I have a happy life?
HAHAHA! Lollipops and Roses (Herb Alpert & Tiijuana Brass) Awesome. :)
3. What do my friends really think of me?
Reach Up For the Sunrise (Duran Duran) Aw, thanks friends.
4. Do people secretly lust after me?
Mandy (Barry Manilow) Oh well. Can't compete with Mandy!
5. How can I make myself happy?
Surround (Dada) No kidding, y'all. That's how it answered me. (Obviously iPod wants me to surround myself with all you wonderful friends and family.) Freaky-deaky.
6. What should I do with my life?
Gloria (U2) SING! See! I should be a diva and Sing Gloria! I knew it! If only the church gig paid better.
7. Will I ever have children?
Whipped Cream (Herb Alpert) Um. What?
8. What is some good advice for me?
Where the Streets Have No Name. (U2) I'm thinking maybe I don't have as much variety in my listening library as I thought I did.
9. How will I be remembered?
Get Me Out of Here (Billy Pilgrim) I will be remembered for complaining about work. Heh.
10. What is my signature song?
Blue Highway (Billy Idol) ...at least my husband will be proud that I've chosen a Billy Idol song. Otherwise I have no idea. It's a song about riding motorcycles. Uh, yeah.
11. What do I think my current theme song is?
Weather With You (Crowded House) Nice. Probably true. "Walking round the room, singing stormy weather, at 57 Mt. Pleasant Street..."
12. What does everyone else think my current theme song is?
Always & Forever (My Dad is Dead) One of my favorite lines is this: "Maybe it's dumb luck, 'cause my luck has never been too sharp... things can change, they don't have to stay the same..."
13. What song will play at my funeral?
Night and Day (Esquivel) Cheesey on top of Cheese. I love it. Everybody samba!
14. What types of men/women do I like?
Are you With Me? (Color) Only the ones like me, evidently. I hope that isn't true.
15. What kind of day will I have?
Whipped Cream. Sigh. At least I did my workout today. All this whipped cream is getting kinda out of hand.
Wednesday, April 19
R&R at a B&B
I'm so excited -- I've just booked our anniversary vacation in Asheville, NC. It would have been quite nice if DH had done it FOR me... last night when we FINALlY got online together to do some research, my PMSy self was kinda ticked that *I* was having to do this, and I was blaming him that it was this late date, even though I haven't made it a priority any more than he has. I mean, wouldn't it have been special if he'd whisked me away and said, "It's all planned, I'm taking you away to a quaint little inn in the mountains, and don't you worry about a thing!"?? Wouldn't it? But I'm resolved not to be such a whiny-butt because we have reservations, we have what appears to be the nicest room at our B&B, tickets to the Biltmore -- America's only CASTLE! and since I know I'll never get DH to Europe to see any real ones this will have to do -- we have double massages scheduled for Saturday morning, I've got my eye on a trendy restaurant, I plan to window-shop, and it's going to be grown-up fun, fun fun. We may even drink WINE like we did back in the good old days. When we were in Luv. :)
Now I have to figure out a gift for him. I'm glad for the massage: he's been working really hard and truly deserves to be pampered a bit, himself. And he's never had one before. But what should I get him for a present to unwrap? Any ideas?
Now I have to figure out a gift for him. I'm glad for the massage: he's been working really hard and truly deserves to be pampered a bit, himself. And he's never had one before. But what should I get him for a present to unwrap? Any ideas?
Monday, April 17
My circadian rhythm hurts
Ah'm tarred.
(My husband's grandfather, who displays that accent from the hills of Tennessee, turns 80 today -- happy birthday, Grandad!)
Easter weekend was a blur. My parents arrived around 6:30 on Friday, after I sent them on the longest short cut that ever was, to try and avoid Atlanta traffic. Oops. We had a great time together, although AJ was a little bit thrown off with extra people in his house and atypical meal/playtime/daycare schedules. He's fine now -- sleeping soundly -- but I'm dragging. I've juiced up with coffee AND tea, but still can't find my mojo. :) It could be that the Easter Vigil service, which lasted from 8:30 'til 11:30 p.m. Saturday night, and in which the choir sang about 89% of the time, wore me plain out. It could be.
(Self-inflating aside: Given the choice I'd still do this year's Vigil again, I think. I was in good voice -- I felt the most prepared I've ever felt for Easter, personally, and my big solo actually made me HAPPY. It was a beautiful piece, for one thing -- not a hokey-pokey hootenany guitar hymn -- and I managed, by the grace of God, to sing it well. It's rare that I'm really pleased with my own singing. I can always find my vocal shortcomings and I'm okay with having them -- but this once, it was nice to feel really GOOD about a song. It was an Easter present from God to me -- I sounded pretty. Yay, me! A girl's allowed to be proud of herself, right?)
What really got my circadian rhythm off was AFTER Mass. I had to go home and prep the Easter Bunny's props. You'd a-thought maybe the Bunny's Better Half might have done some of this while I was gone for 3 hours, but he didn't. And I guess his family tradition for Easter wasn't much "to-do," like mine was; he always woke to a basket of candy. My sis and I always woke to candy, stickers, small presents neatly layed out on the fireplace hearth, eggs hidden in the yard, dyed eggs from the day before... The Workz. So anyway, he was little help and Mom and I had to fuss over The Display all by ourselves....'til 1:00am. Then we got up at 6 to make sure the Bunny hid eggs in the yard like he's supposed to. And we went to the morning Mass Sunday, then to my cousin's house an hour away for the rest of the day. And I jumped on a trampoline! And chased my cousin's 8-year-old daughter, who wanted very much to babysit AJ. Whew. I never quite caught up from Saturday night, is what I'm trying to say. Ti-red.
But AJ enjoyed his chockie bunny for Easter breakfast, and strawberries for Easter dinner! He wasn't into the jelly beans, walked right past the Peeps, and BARELY cared about the crayons or the airplane toy or the John Deere playset. What he wanted most for Easter was M&Ms and
his new Glitter Play Doh.
It is ALL. He. Wants. To. Do. I gave him a star-shaped cookie cutter, so now, we open each can of Smooshy Goodness, one at a time, make a star, and stack the stars one on top of the other. Let me rephrase that. I make all the stars. He watches me do all the work. Then he's done. His interest departs and Mommy's stuck, literally, with her big butt in a kid-sized chair, and copious amounts of 'Doh that now need to be put away before they dry out. We seem to want to do this at least 3 times a day. I'll leave you with that since he's waking from his nap now (the Lucky Duck).
(My husband's grandfather, who displays that accent from the hills of Tennessee, turns 80 today -- happy birthday, Grandad!)
Easter weekend was a blur. My parents arrived around 6:30 on Friday, after I sent them on the longest short cut that ever was, to try and avoid Atlanta traffic. Oops. We had a great time together, although AJ was a little bit thrown off with extra people in his house and atypical meal/playtime/daycare schedules. He's fine now -- sleeping soundly -- but I'm dragging. I've juiced up with coffee AND tea, but still can't find my mojo. :) It could be that the Easter Vigil service, which lasted from 8:30 'til 11:30 p.m. Saturday night, and in which the choir sang about 89% of the time, wore me plain out. It could be.
(Self-inflating aside: Given the choice I'd still do this year's Vigil again, I think. I was in good voice -- I felt the most prepared I've ever felt for Easter, personally, and my big solo actually made me HAPPY. It was a beautiful piece, for one thing -- not a hokey-pokey hootenany guitar hymn -- and I managed, by the grace of God, to sing it well. It's rare that I'm really pleased with my own singing. I can always find my vocal shortcomings and I'm okay with having them -- but this once, it was nice to feel really GOOD about a song. It was an Easter present from God to me -- I sounded pretty. Yay, me! A girl's allowed to be proud of herself, right?)
What really got my circadian rhythm off was AFTER Mass. I had to go home and prep the Easter Bunny's props. You'd a-thought maybe the Bunny's Better Half might have done some of this while I was gone for 3 hours, but he didn't. And I guess his family tradition for Easter wasn't much "to-do," like mine was; he always woke to a basket of candy. My sis and I always woke to candy, stickers, small presents neatly layed out on the fireplace hearth, eggs hidden in the yard, dyed eggs from the day before... The Workz. So anyway, he was little help and Mom and I had to fuss over The Display all by ourselves....'til 1:00am. Then we got up at 6 to make sure the Bunny hid eggs in the yard like he's supposed to. And we went to the morning Mass Sunday, then to my cousin's house an hour away for the rest of the day. And I jumped on a trampoline! And chased my cousin's 8-year-old daughter, who wanted very much to babysit AJ. Whew. I never quite caught up from Saturday night, is what I'm trying to say. Ti-red.
But AJ enjoyed his chockie bunny for Easter breakfast, and strawberries for Easter dinner! He wasn't into the jelly beans, walked right past the Peeps, and BARELY cared about the crayons or the airplane toy or the John Deere playset. What he wanted most for Easter was M&Ms and
his new Glitter Play Doh.
It is ALL. He. Wants. To. Do. I gave him a star-shaped cookie cutter, so now, we open each can of Smooshy Goodness, one at a time, make a star, and stack the stars one on top of the other. Let me rephrase that. I make all the stars. He watches me do all the work. Then he's done. His interest departs and Mommy's stuck, literally, with her big butt in a kid-sized chair, and copious amounts of 'Doh that now need to be put away before they dry out. We seem to want to do this at least 3 times a day. I'll leave you with that since he's waking from his nap now (the Lucky Duck).
Friday, April 14
The best compliment
AJ's teacher told me yesterday that he is "such a sweet little boy;" ...that they "all wish [they] could clone him;" ...and that of all the kids in the class, he is the one who'll sit down when he's asked to, or help clean up after an activity.
I can't tell you how happy that makes me.
At first, I got all nonplussed at her compliments, and tripped over deflecting them as fast as possible. As if my saying, "Well, you know, he's not always an angel at home," would somehow "equal him out" to all the other kids. And I would feel less self-congratulatory because, you know, Husband and I don't always have the answers as parents. We're not doing any better disciplining/raising/loving him than any of the other parents, I wanted to tell her.
But then I had to stop myself, because Jiminy Cricket looked up at me from the floor and said, "Um, excuse me? That compliment wasn't for you, Swellhead. It was for AJ." ("Geez, Jiminy...," I responded. "Ya gotta be so snippy??") Butno, seriously... AJ, himself -- separate from me or anything I do to him, around him, with him -- has a gentle make-up, a well-behaved demeanor. It's him! It's biology. Nothing really to do with me at all!
It's the tiniest bit bittersweet -- it's so easy, natural, for us parents of the littlest ones to think they are "mine, all mine." That they're a direct result of US. And they are to a certain extent, but after a while, they actually do become real little PEOPLE, as my mother always says. And we have to learn how to release our grip from around them, and watch them BE. And be proud FOR them, but not OF.
I'm so pleased. Oh, I know... we're not finished by a long shot, and every good thing that we manage to do as parents will help shape the person he eventually becomes. But it looks like he's got himself a pretty solid foundation already.
I can't tell you how happy that makes me.
At first, I got all nonplussed at her compliments, and tripped over deflecting them as fast as possible. As if my saying, "Well, you know, he's not always an angel at home," would somehow "equal him out" to all the other kids. And I would feel less self-congratulatory because, you know, Husband and I don't always have the answers as parents. We're not doing any better disciplining/raising/loving him than any of the other parents, I wanted to tell her.
But then I had to stop myself, because Jiminy Cricket looked up at me from the floor and said, "Um, excuse me? That compliment wasn't for you, Swellhead. It was for AJ." ("Geez, Jiminy...," I responded. "Ya gotta be so snippy??") Butno, seriously... AJ, himself -- separate from me or anything I do to him, around him, with him -- has a gentle make-up, a well-behaved demeanor. It's him! It's biology. Nothing really to do with me at all!
It's the tiniest bit bittersweet -- it's so easy, natural, for us parents of the littlest ones to think they are "mine, all mine." That they're a direct result of US. And they are to a certain extent, but after a while, they actually do become real little PEOPLE, as my mother always says. And we have to learn how to release our grip from around them, and watch them BE. And be proud FOR them, but not OF.
I'm so pleased. Oh, I know... we're not finished by a long shot, and every good thing that we manage to do as parents will help shape the person he eventually becomes. But it looks like he's got himself a pretty solid foundation already.
Thursday, April 13
Spoken aloud, to no one in particular
...as I pulled my new guest room bedskirt from the warm dryer:
"Oh, no. Am I going to have to actually IRON you stupid thing?"
(It's one of those nifty flat-panel bed skirts. Ergh. I hate to iron.)
"Oh, no. Am I going to have to actually IRON you stupid thing?"
(It's one of those nifty flat-panel bed skirts. Ergh. I hate to iron.)
Wednesday, April 12
The "i" meme
i am: researching rice + chicken + veggie recipes. It seems that mixing with RICE is the only way to get AJ to eat. Anything. Lately. (besides fruit or Saltines).
i think: parenting is made harder than it ought to be, by all the stinking advice books.
i know: my husband loves me deeply.
i have: a nice home with a pretty yard, esp. in spring.
i hate: Atlanta traffic, and spending so much time fighting it.
i don’t: drink very much alcohol. Not that I'm a teetotaler, I've just never been interested. (Except that year or so right after college when I felt pretty grown up and thought getting drunk was fun.)
i can’t: stay awake much past 11:00 anymore. Sometimes 9:00.
i can: do a backflip off the diving board or on the trampoline.
i will: take out the garbage if I have to.
i won’t: mow the lawn until it is physically impossible for my husband or my son to do it. I know that's wimpy and 'sheltered girl' of me but that's the facts.
i miss: summers of my youth. The freedom of having WHOLE DAYS with nothing planned, no responsibilities; of saying "I'm bored;" of asking Mom, at, oh idunno, 1pm, "Can we go to the pool?" And her saying, "Ok."
i fear: the possible terrible things that could happen to AJ; seeing him in grave pain.
i feel: incredibly lucky sometimes.
i hear: typing and clicking of my coworkers; someone on the phone; hum of my computer
i smell: kinda like soggy corn flakes. I used Jergen's Natural Glow lotion today and that's what I think it makes me smell like.
i crave: vacations. peace and laughter, and lately, small-town life.
i wonder: if we will end up going anywhere for our anniversary. (We have yet to book a room in Asheville. Sigh.)
i regret: that I have a few little regrets, but sometimes I do. I sorta regret my useless college major, my 4-year dating relationship that went nowhere (wasted time when I could have dated plenty of other interesting people), that we live so far from our parents... but on the other hand, we might not be where we are without the decisions we made in the past...
i love: Oreos. Ice Cream. Brownies. Oh, yeah, people too -- family, friends, yadda yadda…
i dream: often. I usually remember them, too. I believe some dreams are meant to tell me something, and others are random neurons firing.
i long: to work part-time and have no financial worry about that decision. (plenty for savings, college fund, etc.)
i care: about my health, but still I don't get my recommended 30 minutes a day of exercise. Whywhywhywhywhy?
i always: sing. I try to stay in some sort of choir always.
i am not: tall.
i believe: (easy one) that things happen for a reason.
i smile: less often than I should. With my life, I should be smiling 100% of the time.
i laugh: out loud when I read and watch TV.
i collect: $100 bills. If you have any spare ones, send them my way.
i play: a lot of different kinds of solitaire. The old-fashioned way, with cards.
i write: fairly well, but not well enough that I think I could have a career freelancing.
i await: 4:00 pm every day.
i cook: on a 20-year-old Jenn-Aire with only 2 working burners. Argh.
i trust: that God is leading me on the path of my life, and that even when I'm ignoring Him, He's still with me.
i intend: to get back to work after doing this.
i search: using Google and wikipedia.
i look: at people's lips when I should look up at their eyes. I am constantly trying to fix this habit.
i shout: at the dog when he knocks AJ down or wanders into the ivy in our backyard.
i whisper: when I read "Mr. Brown Can Moo," on the 'whisper, whisper' page.
i conquer: mountains.... of laundry. (lately, all by myself where my husband used to help, but oh well.)
i listen: to easy listening artists (think '60s ooo-wah stuff) like Herb Alpert and Esquivel, more often than you might think.
i ignore: people who stand in intersections asking for money, whether they're "begging" for themselves or walking around with buckets for "charity." (I don’t know whether to mistrust or pity them, so I just pretend they aren't there.)
i live: day by day.
I found this in some of Madame Rubies' archives. Thanks, H! This was fun.
i think: parenting is made harder than it ought to be, by all the stinking advice books.
i know: my husband loves me deeply.
i have: a nice home with a pretty yard, esp. in spring.
i hate: Atlanta traffic, and spending so much time fighting it.
i don’t: drink very much alcohol. Not that I'm a teetotaler, I've just never been interested. (Except that year or so right after college when I felt pretty grown up and thought getting drunk was fun.)
i can’t: stay awake much past 11:00 anymore. Sometimes 9:00.
i can: do a backflip off the diving board or on the trampoline.
i will: take out the garbage if I have to.
i won’t: mow the lawn until it is physically impossible for my husband or my son to do it. I know that's wimpy and 'sheltered girl' of me but that's the facts.
i miss: summers of my youth. The freedom of having WHOLE DAYS with nothing planned, no responsibilities; of saying "I'm bored;" of asking Mom, at, oh idunno, 1pm, "Can we go to the pool?" And her saying, "Ok."
i fear: the possible terrible things that could happen to AJ; seeing him in grave pain.
i feel: incredibly lucky sometimes.
i hear: typing and clicking of my coworkers; someone on the phone; hum of my computer
i smell: kinda like soggy corn flakes. I used Jergen's Natural Glow lotion today and that's what I think it makes me smell like.
i crave: vacations. peace and laughter, and lately, small-town life.
i wonder: if we will end up going anywhere for our anniversary. (We have yet to book a room in Asheville. Sigh.)
i regret: that I have a few little regrets, but sometimes I do. I sorta regret my useless college major, my 4-year dating relationship that went nowhere (wasted time when I could have dated plenty of other interesting people), that we live so far from our parents... but on the other hand, we might not be where we are without the decisions we made in the past...
i love: Oreos. Ice Cream. Brownies. Oh, yeah, people too -- family, friends, yadda yadda…
i dream: often. I usually remember them, too. I believe some dreams are meant to tell me something, and others are random neurons firing.
i long: to work part-time and have no financial worry about that decision. (plenty for savings, college fund, etc.)
i care: about my health, but still I don't get my recommended 30 minutes a day of exercise. Whywhywhywhywhy?
i always: sing. I try to stay in some sort of choir always.
i am not: tall.
i believe: (easy one) that things happen for a reason.
i smile: less often than I should. With my life, I should be smiling 100% of the time.
i laugh: out loud when I read and watch TV.
i collect: $100 bills. If you have any spare ones, send them my way.
i play: a lot of different kinds of solitaire. The old-fashioned way, with cards.
i write: fairly well, but not well enough that I think I could have a career freelancing.
i await: 4:00 pm every day.
i cook: on a 20-year-old Jenn-Aire with only 2 working burners. Argh.
i trust: that God is leading me on the path of my life, and that even when I'm ignoring Him, He's still with me.
i intend: to get back to work after doing this.
i search: using Google and wikipedia.
i look: at people's lips when I should look up at their eyes. I am constantly trying to fix this habit.
i shout: at the dog when he knocks AJ down or wanders into the ivy in our backyard.
i whisper: when I read "Mr. Brown Can Moo," on the 'whisper, whisper' page.
i conquer: mountains.... of laundry. (lately, all by myself where my husband used to help, but oh well.)
i listen: to easy listening artists (think '60s ooo-wah stuff) like Herb Alpert and Esquivel, more often than you might think.
i ignore: people who stand in intersections asking for money, whether they're "begging" for themselves or walking around with buckets for "charity." (I don’t know whether to mistrust or pity them, so I just pretend they aren't there.)
i live: day by day.
I found this in some of Madame Rubies' archives. Thanks, H! This was fun.
Monday, April 10
Picnic moment
Yet another happy springtime moment that made me want to freeze time:
Sunday afternoon, freshly mowed grass, AJ, Mommy, snacktime... Peanut butter & honey, saltines, a bottle of water, and a blue and white dishtowel for a picnic blanket. He dipped into that PB over and over and over again. His first taste of honey. He kept focused on it, less interested in anything else, except maybe the occassional bee or a passing car. We just sat there dipping, crunching, not talking in the breeze and the shade. :)
Sunday afternoon, freshly mowed grass, AJ, Mommy, snacktime... Peanut butter & honey, saltines, a bottle of water, and a blue and white dishtowel for a picnic blanket. He dipped into that PB over and over and over again. His first taste of honey. He kept focused on it, less interested in anything else, except maybe the occassional bee or a passing car. We just sat there dipping, crunching, not talking in the breeze and the shade. :)
3...2...1... tornado
Here's the play-by-play. Friday night, DH and I did our usual camp-out on the living room couch, and got to bed by about midnight-thirty. The weather-man was predicting storms, which bummed DH out a bit, needing to mow the lawn Saturday as he did. But oh well, we said, we can take the car for its oil change and then just get some housework done if it rains all day. I guess in the back of our minds we knew the storms had caused some trouble in the mid-west and to be on alert, but we proceeded as normal.
3:45 a.m... I wake up to the delightfully creepy sound of the county sirens. I lay there and listen for the full five minutes, and no one else in my house stirs. There's nothing going on outside, so in my sleepy state I can't figure if they're just testing the alarm, or what. Five minutes more I lay there, all is still and quiet. And then, it starts raining. And then, it sounds like hail. Hmm. I get up to look out the bathroom window, just as I start hearing what sounds like branches and leaves hitting the house. DH wakes up, startled. And when I lift the shade in the window, our enormous poplar and sycamore trees (don't know quite how I could see so well, as it was the middle of the night) are absolutely bending IN HALF with the wind. I tell DH that the sirens went off, and he determines that we'd better make haste to the basement. I think his exact words were, "Get downstairs, NOW." I grab AJ and down we go. At the front door, we hesitated, because there seemed to be a lull... then we saw a flash of that famous green lightning. I've never gone down a flight of stairs so fast!
We stayed downstairs for about 30 minutes, with poor AJ going, "AJ room? AJ room?" What, standing under the staircase at 4 a.m. isn't your idea of fun, kiddo? So innocent. I kept thinking of my elementary school tornado drills, where they'd have us line up down the hall and crouch with our heads covered, facing the walls. If kids weren't scared of tornados before that, they certainly were after. Creepy. We just stood there waiting. Wondering if it was safe to peek out the window. Watching the power flicker.
After it was over? all quiet again. Like it never happened. I'm sure it rained more throughout the morning, but we went back to bed and slept pretty hard 'til about 7:30.
Y'all, the thing went right through our subdivision. Next morning, in the quiet rain, we learned that one street over, uprooted trees had fallen on homes. Cracked trees had crushed a few fences. We had plenty of cleanup, ourselves, but we were BLESSED to live on the right side of the hill -- no damage. They've been saying it was "just" an F-zero or F1. But Lordy, we spent all of Saturday grateful: 1) that AJ enjoys picking up sticks (ha), 2) that we have a basement, and got our butts down there, and 3) that we weren't on the phone with the insurance company trying to figure out how to get our life back.
3:45 a.m... I wake up to the delightfully creepy sound of the county sirens. I lay there and listen for the full five minutes, and no one else in my house stirs. There's nothing going on outside, so in my sleepy state I can't figure if they're just testing the alarm, or what. Five minutes more I lay there, all is still and quiet. And then, it starts raining. And then, it sounds like hail. Hmm. I get up to look out the bathroom window, just as I start hearing what sounds like branches and leaves hitting the house. DH wakes up, startled. And when I lift the shade in the window, our enormous poplar and sycamore trees (don't know quite how I could see so well, as it was the middle of the night) are absolutely bending IN HALF with the wind. I tell DH that the sirens went off, and he determines that we'd better make haste to the basement. I think his exact words were, "Get downstairs, NOW." I grab AJ and down we go. At the front door, we hesitated, because there seemed to be a lull... then we saw a flash of that famous green lightning. I've never gone down a flight of stairs so fast!
We stayed downstairs for about 30 minutes, with poor AJ going, "AJ room? AJ room?" What, standing under the staircase at 4 a.m. isn't your idea of fun, kiddo? So innocent. I kept thinking of my elementary school tornado drills, where they'd have us line up down the hall and crouch with our heads covered, facing the walls. If kids weren't scared of tornados before that, they certainly were after. Creepy. We just stood there waiting. Wondering if it was safe to peek out the window. Watching the power flicker.
After it was over? all quiet again. Like it never happened. I'm sure it rained more throughout the morning, but we went back to bed and slept pretty hard 'til about 7:30.
Y'all, the thing went right through our subdivision. Next morning, in the quiet rain, we learned that one street over, uprooted trees had fallen on homes. Cracked trees had crushed a few fences. We had plenty of cleanup, ourselves, but we were BLESSED to live on the right side of the hill -- no damage. They've been saying it was "just" an F-zero or F1. But Lordy, we spent all of Saturday grateful: 1) that AJ enjoys picking up sticks (ha), 2) that we have a basement, and got our butts down there, and 3) that we weren't on the phone with the insurance company trying to figure out how to get our life back.
Thursday, April 6
This day in the life
A couple months back, Sheryl at papernapkin suggested we all do these "day in the life" posts on the 6th of the month, since really, it's the 6th that is usually the MOST interesting day of any month. Hee. No seriously, I love reading how other people spend their days. So, here's my Thurs. Enjoy!
6:00 am Drag sorry ass out of the softest sheets in the universe. Seriously, I love these sheets. Rub eyes. Stretch. Hop in the shower.
6:20 AJ's stirring. DH's turn to retrive him from his crib, so I watch and wait, in my bathrobe, for the best moment of the day...
6:25 (after diaper-changing)...AJ arrives! Gives Mama a morning hug and kiss. Begins watching Jay-Jay Jet Plane. :)
6:35 getting me and AJ dressed. AJ fusses about having to take off his jammies. They must be soft like my sheets. I understand completely, but apply his khakis and long-sleeved Tee anyway. I'm wearing ripped jeans and a t-shirt, and no makeup, since I am fairly certain I'll be staying home today.
6:45 go downstairs (all 3 of us), get Napoleon fed and watered, argue with AJ (a little) that the TV is not coming on just yet. DH kisses us goodbye and leaves for work.
7:00 AJ's determined he's having "Pancakes? pancakes?" this morning, so after we record him saying that for about 4 minutes on the iPod (love that I can do that!), I pull out the Bisquik. Half a recipe outta do us. AJ runs around excitedly. Polie yelps. We think he's getting arthritic. Poor doggie.
7:10 While pancakes cook, call Daycare to make SURE that, even though he had no fever, and no other symptoms, and even had a less-runny poopoo this morning (TMI!)... he still can't come back 'til 24 hours of diarrhea-free living. Argh. Fine. Resign myself to the fact I'll get exactly 2.5 hours of work done today (minus the time it's taking me to type this, ha!). Cool. Sorta like a day off. Right here, I should have given a quick silent thanks for this little gift from God, but I didn't... I did later, though... :)
7:45 "Pancakes all gone." Rev up the DVD player and "Bear in the Big Blue House." Sit with AJ on the couch and watch a little bit. Make coffee because my eyes feel like they're filled with sand! I stayed up last night 'til 12:00am... why? ... stressed out a little. Argh. Need caffeine.
8:00-9:00 hour While AJ's playing and watching tv some more, I've turned on the computer in the laundry room and managed to check email. DH called to see if I was staying home or going to work. AJ and I play on the computer together at playhousedisney.com. He ADORES the page where you can make "Clay" change colors. He hits the mouse button and giggles and giggles.
10:00 - 11:00 Go upstairs to get our shoes, so we can go outside. When I go to change AJ's diaper, I ask if he wants to go potty.... he does! Yay! Carefully I take his bare-bottomed self into the bathroom (usually when he pees is on the way), and sit him on the potty where... (Today's momentous occasion ahead:) he pee-pees and poops!! On the Potty!! Like a Big Boy! I am uber proud of him as this is the first poo poo experience a la toilette. He is kickin' ass and takin' names with this potty training stuff! Woot! We wash hands, get our shoes, and go back downstairs, all the while chanting "AJ big boy!" And then he gets to eat his ONE m&m, which he S A V O R S. (It's his first m&m experience, too.) ....our playing outside is awesome. We hop like bunnies, chase Napoleon, pick up sticks, watch a cardinal for about 3 full minutes, and babble, babble, babble. (And I do give thanks for these moments.) :)
11:00 Lunch. (Whew, is it only lunchtime?) AJ eats applesauce even though I've made chicken nuggets and tater tots, as well. I eat (two) chicken burritos. *burp* Shouldn't have had the 2nd one.
11:30 ...bliss! NAP TIME! I sit myself down with a Coke (bad) and get to work making an agenda for the campus visit I'm making to Berry College tomorrow. And now I'm here.
(more to come... AJ's waking up. It's now nearly 2pm...)
2:00 pm We take Polie out, although he's not allowed to play ball, much to his chagrin. He's on ball restriction due to the limping and yelping. Then I realize I don't have much time 'til we need to leave to go visit with my sophisticated friend, Stacy -- she's great, and one of those people who ALWAYS looks Put Together, no matter if she's toting her three little boys with her or not. You can hate her if you like. Anyway, I...? might need some deodorant. And makeup. We go upstairs.
3:00 pm Time to leave for the park. Stacy'll be there at 3:30. Phone rings. Argh... my boss. (Does he not remember I am off the clock at 3 on WFH days? Evidently not.) He hears AJ throwing a mini-fit as I put him in his carseat, and he comments, nicely, "Whooooa, there, do you need to call me back?" I'm slightly embarassed (don't know why), but shut the car door and talk to him for 2 minutes -- work crisis averted -- then get in the car and we're on our way!
At the park, we meet up with Stacy (half-hour late, she took a wrong turn, making me feel slightly better about my lack of a hair-do and my stylish jeans/t-shirt/ dirty-sneakers combo). The boys play; we have I-KEEM across the street; we drink water from the water fountain... it was a really nice afternoon.
At around 5, we head home. AJ's received a package from Gammy in the mail! Fun -- Lady & the Tramp! I am WAY more excited about it than he is, but he concedes to watching it a while, as I get dinner started. Ham-Broccoli Crescent Ring and Stouffer's "Harvest apples." I am certain AJ's not going to eat this, though (there's Dijon mustard in the ham-broccoli mix). So I make him a ham-butter sandwich instead, and hope for the best. Well... by 6:40 it's obvious DH won't get home 'til 7, so I get AJ into the highchair, and hestarts his dinner refuses the sandwich. I remember there's rice in the fridge, and give him that instead -- he eats like a horse. (I am a wimp! He is going to grow up spoiled! Oh dear.)
7:00 pm My Honey arrives. Yay. AJ's glad, because his apples have been put on hold 'til Daddy gets here. We sit down, eat pretty quickly, and listen to AJ say, "AJ ay it awww." (AJ ate it all!) His longest spoken sentence at 4 words! Damn, we are proud of this kid today!
After dinner DH gives AJ his bath, we put on jammies, sit on Mama and Daddy's bed, as is our custom, and then he goes to bed. DH and I are now watching the hockey game trepidatiously (is that a word?), and getting ready to plan our vacation days for the rest of the year. Oh yeah, and I went to our printer downstairs and printed out directions to Berry.
It's 9:11 pm. Wasn't that fun? The nitty gritty; the very mundane. :) ...It was a good day.
6:00 am Drag sorry ass out of the softest sheets in the universe. Seriously, I love these sheets. Rub eyes. Stretch. Hop in the shower.
6:20 AJ's stirring. DH's turn to retrive him from his crib, so I watch and wait, in my bathrobe, for the best moment of the day...
6:25 (after diaper-changing)...AJ arrives! Gives Mama a morning hug and kiss. Begins watching Jay-Jay Jet Plane. :)
6:35 getting me and AJ dressed. AJ fusses about having to take off his jammies. They must be soft like my sheets. I understand completely, but apply his khakis and long-sleeved Tee anyway. I'm wearing ripped jeans and a t-shirt, and no makeup, since I am fairly certain I'll be staying home today.
6:45 go downstairs (all 3 of us), get Napoleon fed and watered, argue with AJ (a little) that the TV is not coming on just yet. DH kisses us goodbye and leaves for work.
7:00 AJ's determined he's having "Pancakes? pancakes?" this morning, so after we record him saying that for about 4 minutes on the iPod (love that I can do that!), I pull out the Bisquik. Half a recipe outta do us. AJ runs around excitedly. Polie yelps. We think he's getting arthritic. Poor doggie.
7:10 While pancakes cook, call Daycare to make SURE that, even though he had no fever, and no other symptoms, and even had a less-runny poopoo this morning (TMI!)... he still can't come back 'til 24 hours of diarrhea-free living. Argh. Fine. Resign myself to the fact I'll get exactly 2.5 hours of work done today (minus the time it's taking me to type this, ha!). Cool. Sorta like a day off. Right here, I should have given a quick silent thanks for this little gift from God, but I didn't... I did later, though... :)
7:45 "Pancakes all gone." Rev up the DVD player and "Bear in the Big Blue House." Sit with AJ on the couch and watch a little bit. Make coffee because my eyes feel like they're filled with sand! I stayed up last night 'til 12:00am... why? ... stressed out a little. Argh. Need caffeine.
8:00-9:00 hour While AJ's playing and watching tv some more, I've turned on the computer in the laundry room and managed to check email. DH called to see if I was staying home or going to work. AJ and I play on the computer together at playhousedisney.com. He ADORES the page where you can make "Clay" change colors. He hits the mouse button and giggles and giggles.
10:00 - 11:00 Go upstairs to get our shoes, so we can go outside. When I go to change AJ's diaper, I ask if he wants to go potty.... he does! Yay! Carefully I take his bare-bottomed self into the bathroom (usually when he pees is on the way), and sit him on the potty where... (Today's momentous occasion ahead:) he pee-pees and poops!! On the Potty!! Like a Big Boy! I am uber proud of him as this is the first poo poo experience a la toilette. He is kickin' ass and takin' names with this potty training stuff! Woot! We wash hands, get our shoes, and go back downstairs, all the while chanting "AJ big boy!" And then he gets to eat his ONE m&m, which he S A V O R S. (It's his first m&m experience, too.) ....our playing outside is awesome. We hop like bunnies, chase Napoleon, pick up sticks, watch a cardinal for about 3 full minutes, and babble, babble, babble. (And I do give thanks for these moments.) :)
11:00 Lunch. (Whew, is it only lunchtime?) AJ eats applesauce even though I've made chicken nuggets and tater tots, as well. I eat (two) chicken burritos. *burp* Shouldn't have had the 2nd one.
11:30 ...bliss! NAP TIME! I sit myself down with a Coke (bad) and get to work making an agenda for the campus visit I'm making to Berry College tomorrow. And now I'm here.
(more to come... AJ's waking up. It's now nearly 2pm...)
2:00 pm We take Polie out, although he's not allowed to play ball, much to his chagrin. He's on ball restriction due to the limping and yelping. Then I realize I don't have much time 'til we need to leave to go visit with my sophisticated friend, Stacy -- she's great, and one of those people who ALWAYS looks Put Together, no matter if she's toting her three little boys with her or not. You can hate her if you like. Anyway, I...? might need some deodorant. And makeup. We go upstairs.
3:00 pm Time to leave for the park. Stacy'll be there at 3:30. Phone rings. Argh... my boss. (Does he not remember I am off the clock at 3 on WFH days? Evidently not.) He hears AJ throwing a mini-fit as I put him in his carseat, and he comments, nicely, "Whooooa, there, do you need to call me back?" I'm slightly embarassed (don't know why), but shut the car door and talk to him for 2 minutes -- work crisis averted -- then get in the car and we're on our way!
At the park, we meet up with Stacy (half-hour late, she took a wrong turn, making me feel slightly better about my lack of a hair-do and my stylish jeans/t-shirt/ dirty-sneakers combo). The boys play; we have I-KEEM across the street; we drink water from the water fountain... it was a really nice afternoon.
At around 5, we head home. AJ's received a package from Gammy in the mail! Fun -- Lady & the Tramp! I am WAY more excited about it than he is, but he concedes to watching it a while, as I get dinner started. Ham-Broccoli Crescent Ring and Stouffer's "Harvest apples." I am certain AJ's not going to eat this, though (there's Dijon mustard in the ham-broccoli mix). So I make him a ham-butter sandwich instead, and hope for the best. Well... by 6:40 it's obvious DH won't get home 'til 7, so I get AJ into the highchair, and he
7:00 pm My Honey arrives. Yay. AJ's glad, because his apples have been put on hold 'til Daddy gets here. We sit down, eat pretty quickly, and listen to AJ say, "AJ ay it awww." (AJ ate it all!) His longest spoken sentence at 4 words! Damn, we are proud of this kid today!
After dinner DH gives AJ his bath, we put on jammies, sit on Mama and Daddy's bed, as is our custom, and then he goes to bed. DH and I are now watching the hockey game trepidatiously (is that a word?), and getting ready to plan our vacation days for the rest of the year. Oh yeah, and I went to our printer downstairs and printed out directions to Berry.
It's 9:11 pm. Wasn't that fun? The nitty gritty; the very mundane. :) ...It was a good day.
Wednesday, April 5
What poopy diapers make me think of
I'm doing better about accepting my "station in life," that is, my status as a full-time working mom. Actually, work's made that a little easier by virtue of the fact we've just launched a new Widget that is pretty cool, and interests me. (Imagine that!) So I haven't had the time or inclination to whine about waaaanting SAHM-hood lately. Today, however, I had a small inkling of it.
Daycare called and said AJ was sick. Poopy diapers, 4 of the kind that leak, in under 4 hours. Fabulous. Knowing my husband is swamped beyond swamped AS USUAL and he can't get away, I started packing up my stuff to go get the little guy. That's no biggie, takin' one for the Team. But the whole way there, you know what I thought about? I stressed about WORK. I mulled over papers and agenda items that didn't get done and my schedule the rest of the week. Isn't there something "off" there? I mean, if my kid is sick, shouldn't I spend the drive fully worried about HIM? Not worried about a client, or a document, or a web site? I don't know, it just struck me as skewed. I know, as a working mom, that my time is divided between the two jobs... it just seems like my mind and heart shouldn't be that divided; they should easily revert back to focus on the Mom-job when there's sickness or emergency involved. I can't quite verbalize what I mean.
On a related note, this morning I heard a country song -- clearly, I listen to all the wrong radio stations -- that made me think about leaving home, and how, when I left for college in 1992, little did I know I'd left "for good." I unintentionally never went back. I have never lived in my hometown, with my family, since then. And that doesn't feel right either. I got an incredible, teary-eyed urge to really, truly give it all up and go back home. Not because of the working-mom thing directly (although it plays a small role since I might be able to work part-time with a lower cost of living down there)... but just because People Should Stick Together. Families. Especially after my uncle's death, it's been on my mind. Home should be HOME. Simple as that.
Daycare called and said AJ was sick. Poopy diapers, 4 of the kind that leak, in under 4 hours. Fabulous. Knowing my husband is swamped beyond swamped AS USUAL and he can't get away, I started packing up my stuff to go get the little guy. That's no biggie, takin' one for the Team. But the whole way there, you know what I thought about? I stressed about WORK. I mulled over papers and agenda items that didn't get done and my schedule the rest of the week. Isn't there something "off" there? I mean, if my kid is sick, shouldn't I spend the drive fully worried about HIM? Not worried about a client, or a document, or a web site? I don't know, it just struck me as skewed. I know, as a working mom, that my time is divided between the two jobs... it just seems like my mind and heart shouldn't be that divided; they should easily revert back to focus on the Mom-job when there's sickness or emergency involved. I can't quite verbalize what I mean.
On a related note, this morning I heard a country song -- clearly, I listen to all the wrong radio stations -- that made me think about leaving home, and how, when I left for college in 1992, little did I know I'd left "for good." I unintentionally never went back. I have never lived in my hometown, with my family, since then. And that doesn't feel right either. I got an incredible, teary-eyed urge to really, truly give it all up and go back home. Not because of the working-mom thing directly (although it plays a small role since I might be able to work part-time with a lower cost of living down there)... but just because People Should Stick Together. Families. Especially after my uncle's death, it's been on my mind. Home should be HOME. Simple as that.
Tuesday, April 4
I'm sorry - more with the birds
Dudes. I'm all about seeing different species right in my very own backyard. It is cool. The colors, and the magnificent little chirping songs have to be evidence of God's goodness. Not to mention a pretty kickass nature lesson.
However.
THIS GUY??
SCARED THE EVER-LOVING CRAP OUT OF ME YESTERDAY when he jumped up out of nowhere and landed in my window frame. He has a wingspan of what looked like about 6 feet yesterday (but is only about 2.5, I learned upon researching,)... With that dark black coloring and ominous large beak though, capable of piercing small children's eyes out? ...seriously, give me the fat little tweety birdies. I can do without the red-crested fire-breathing ones.
However.
THIS GUY??
SCARED THE EVER-LOVING CRAP OUT OF ME YESTERDAY when he jumped up out of nowhere and landed in my window frame. He has a wingspan of what looked like about 6 feet yesterday (but is only about 2.5, I learned upon researching,)... With that dark black coloring and ominous large beak though, capable of piercing small children's eyes out? ...seriously, give me the fat little tweety birdies. I can do without the red-crested fire-breathing ones.
He's not angelic all the time
I want to clarify one thing from my post yesterday about our dinner with friends; AJ behaved like an angel and I was quite proud of myself, as you may have noticed. *wink* Please know that he is not always eternally fabulous, and I fully admit it. There are mealtimes at our house where he squirms and wiggles and WILL NOT sit down in his high chair, and WILL NOT EAT, EITHER, thankyouverymuch, and refuses to cooperate or shut up for one minute with the fussing. Just so we're clear. I have no delusions that AJ is better than anyone else's kid. Hope it didn't come out that way.
With that said, I do have to tell you about yesterday's sacramental moment, where he was EVERY BIT the angel. It was about 6:30pm, and I was anxious for DH to get home because I had committed to sing at a quick church service at 7:00. So I stepped outside to look for his car (because if you watch for it actively, you can WILL it to arrive), and AJ stepped out with me. He made his way decidedly toward the swing and I indulged him. It being the 2nd day of Daylight Savings, the evening light was just right; plus the breeze had died down, the birds were chirping, and AJ was pointing out every car that went by -- one of his latest crazes is "Dars!" and "Duts!" (trucks) -- and then, he got tickled about something. The kid laughed like he'd never laughed before, so hard he couldn't catch his breath, and it was heaven for me to watch him. Back and forth on his swing, kicking his feet, throwing his head back -- it lasted a good ten minutes. Beauty unfettered, I tell you, and pure, pure happiness.
This morning I heard a song on the Christian radio station that said, "I am in the sun, I am in the shade, I am in the Light Love has made." That's the Light we bathed in, that very one. God-filled. Glorious. I'm humbled to have witnessed it.
With that said, I do have to tell you about yesterday's sacramental moment, where he was EVERY BIT the angel. It was about 6:30pm, and I was anxious for DH to get home because I had committed to sing at a quick church service at 7:00. So I stepped outside to look for his car (because if you watch for it actively, you can WILL it to arrive), and AJ stepped out with me. He made his way decidedly toward the swing and I indulged him. It being the 2nd day of Daylight Savings, the evening light was just right; plus the breeze had died down, the birds were chirping, and AJ was pointing out every car that went by -- one of his latest crazes is "Dars!" and "Duts!" (trucks) -- and then, he got tickled about something. The kid laughed like he'd never laughed before, so hard he couldn't catch his breath, and it was heaven for me to watch him. Back and forth on his swing, kicking his feet, throwing his head back -- it lasted a good ten minutes. Beauty unfettered, I tell you, and pure, pure happiness.
This morning I heard a song on the Christian radio station that said, "I am in the sun, I am in the shade, I am in the Light Love has made." That's the Light we bathed in, that very one. God-filled. Glorious. I'm humbled to have witnessed it.
Monday, April 3
Observations and friends
(But first: JC Penney is having an online sale, dudes. Go check it out if you're in the market for toddler tees or jammies. I found items for $4.99 and that is not normal in this universe. I don't get the people who purchase clothes at adorable Hanna Anderson, paying twenty whole dollars for a kid's t-shirt. Insane.)
AJ got hit in the face last night. By another kid. We went over to our friends' house for a very casual Sunday afternoon and dinner, which was so nice -- getting home at 7pm and having no dishes to do, nothing to put away... bliss. :) They're our first official "church-friends," by the way. I mean, friends from church that we've socialized with OUTSIDE of church. I've always wanted church friends! I met the wife through choir, and she's super, super nice. Almost to the point of being TOO nice. But not quite. Anyway, we'd been there since 4:00pm and it was inevitable that the kids would get tired... so her 23-month-old decided it was time to smack AJ in the face a little bit. Of course there were apologies and protestations from his parents, since we were all sitting right there watching. And we all knew the kid didn't consciously try to harm AJ... but you should have seen AJ's look! He turned to me and, right before he started crying, his eyes were wide like, "OMG, Mama, did you see that???" It was rather cute. He got over it quickly.
It's funny to be with another family who totally does things differently than us. I don't mean to get judgey, BUT... they figured Matthew wasn't going to sit still during dinner with the rest of us, so he was put in the living room with Bob the Builder (video) while we all ate. ?! Nope, that doesn't fly at our house. You have to at least ATTEMPT to sit nicely with everyone and eat. If it doesn't work out, hey, whatever. Run off and play. But then you don't get your dinner. Sorry, way it goes. Number two, they said M's not quite eating table foods yet, anyway, and by that I mean... wait, what? He's nearly two, what is he eating, rice cereal? They might have meant, "He's not feeding himself with utensils at the table," because his Mom proceeded to say, "Well, he eats Cheerios, but dry, with his fingers, you know." I was confused. So, whatever. It takes all kinds, my Granny used to say. It just kinda made me feel good about what we're doing. I like our rules, and they seem to be working. AJ sat very nicely in M's high chair and fed himself rice and chicken enchilada. And he didn't interrupt or cause a ruckus, and when he was finished, he got down to go watch Bob, too. And mind you, I wholeheartedly believe, WHATEVER WORKS FOR YOUR FAMILY. You co-sleep? Fine. I don't. You cook 2 meals, one for you, one for the kid? (Whispers: I do too, occasionally. But don't tell anyone.) Fine. That works for you. I just find it interesting to see what other people do. And I think I needed the reassurance that we're doing it right, for us. I prefer my way to theirs. Of course I'm sure the day will come when she comes to my house and observes, and doesn't agree with it. I'm okay with that. :)
Also really interesting to observe two completely different little personalities emerging. AJ is quite content to explore the contents of M's playroom on his own, testing things out, going from one toy to the next. Matthew, on the other hand, was pretty darn excited to have people over, and he made it known by squealing, babbling, running around, demanding attention. He's a very energetic kid. I've never seen AJ do that, at our house or anyone else's. When he's over-excited -- and he does get that way, believe me -- but he goes inward, I think, instead of outward. Meaning, he cries or gets emotional. Which is somewhat outward... but not so, um, "wild" is the word that comes to mind. Not in a negative way, but you know what I mean?
It's fun to imagine the two boys maybe growing up together, since we're both wanting to send them to St. Joe's, the parish school. Wonder if they'll be friends?
AJ got hit in the face last night. By another kid. We went over to our friends' house for a very casual Sunday afternoon and dinner, which was so nice -- getting home at 7pm and having no dishes to do, nothing to put away... bliss. :) They're our first official "church-friends," by the way. I mean, friends from church that we've socialized with OUTSIDE of church. I've always wanted church friends! I met the wife through choir, and she's super, super nice. Almost to the point of being TOO nice. But not quite. Anyway, we'd been there since 4:00pm and it was inevitable that the kids would get tired... so her 23-month-old decided it was time to smack AJ in the face a little bit. Of course there were apologies and protestations from his parents, since we were all sitting right there watching. And we all knew the kid didn't consciously try to harm AJ... but you should have seen AJ's look! He turned to me and, right before he started crying, his eyes were wide like, "OMG, Mama, did you see that???" It was rather cute. He got over it quickly.
It's funny to be with another family who totally does things differently than us. I don't mean to get judgey, BUT... they figured Matthew wasn't going to sit still during dinner with the rest of us, so he was put in the living room with Bob the Builder (video) while we all ate. ?! Nope, that doesn't fly at our house. You have to at least ATTEMPT to sit nicely with everyone and eat. If it doesn't work out, hey, whatever. Run off and play. But then you don't get your dinner. Sorry, way it goes. Number two, they said M's not quite eating table foods yet, anyway, and by that I mean... wait, what? He's nearly two, what is he eating, rice cereal? They might have meant, "He's not feeding himself with utensils at the table," because his Mom proceeded to say, "Well, he eats Cheerios, but dry, with his fingers, you know." I was confused. So, whatever. It takes all kinds, my Granny used to say. It just kinda made me feel good about what we're doing. I like our rules, and they seem to be working. AJ sat very nicely in M's high chair and fed himself rice and chicken enchilada. And he didn't interrupt or cause a ruckus, and when he was finished, he got down to go watch Bob, too. And mind you, I wholeheartedly believe, WHATEVER WORKS FOR YOUR FAMILY. You co-sleep? Fine. I don't. You cook 2 meals, one for you, one for the kid? (Whispers: I do too, occasionally. But don't tell anyone.) Fine. That works for you. I just find it interesting to see what other people do. And I think I needed the reassurance that we're doing it right, for us. I prefer my way to theirs. Of course I'm sure the day will come when she comes to my house and observes, and doesn't agree with it. I'm okay with that. :)
Also really interesting to observe two completely different little personalities emerging. AJ is quite content to explore the contents of M's playroom on his own, testing things out, going from one toy to the next. Matthew, on the other hand, was pretty darn excited to have people over, and he made it known by squealing, babbling, running around, demanding attention. He's a very energetic kid. I've never seen AJ do that, at our house or anyone else's. When he's over-excited -- and he does get that way, believe me -- but he goes inward, I think, instead of outward. Meaning, he cries or gets emotional. Which is somewhat outward... but not so, um, "wild" is the word that comes to mind. Not in a negative way, but you know what I mean?
It's fun to imagine the two boys maybe growing up together, since we're both wanting to send them to St. Joe's, the parish school. Wonder if they'll be friends?
Thursday, March 30
She's a funny lady
Ooh, I found a contest I MUST enter. She's funny that way day is evidently approaching -- who knew? -- and so we are supposed to nominate our favorite funny ladies' blogs by tomorrow night. Woot! I have a nominee.
You'll never guess her name: Jennifer. Hahahahaha. Of course you guessed that. The poor kajillion Jennifers of this world. But don't feel sorry for her! She's got it good! To wit:
I nominate thee, Jennifer Piehole!
You'll never guess her name: Jennifer. Hahahahaha. Of course you guessed that. The poor kajillion Jennifers of this world. But don't feel sorry for her! She's got it good! To wit:
- Her very own pool-boy boyfriend;
- Her home in awesome Seattle, complete with gay neighbors;
- A pretty cool tween? teen? son, even though she calls him Turd-face, or Turd-head, or something eighth grade like that... she actually makes me fear that age a little less, if you get to act all silly with them like she does;
- The fun-est packs-a-punch blog title this side of Hawaii, which is simply, and elegantly, Piehole.
I nominate thee, Jennifer Piehole!
Taming the Food Lion
A bit of an interesting discussion is happening between me (so far) and my buddy Krissypoopyhands about weight loss and healthy food choices and getting into that mentality. For the last four or five days, I've been saying to myself, over and over, "I need to be putting healthy things into my body." And sometimes it moves me to actually do that; like now, when I'm having a whole wheat mini-bagel, light cream cheese (1 tbsp, not two or three like I'd prefer), and a few slices of tomato. I get all proud of myself for not having a Pop Tart. And then in the next breath I pour my second cup of full-strength coffee. I use Splenda and fat-free cream, so it can't be all bad, fat and calorie-wise. But still? Caffeine doesn't really fit into the "healthy things" realm, and I know this. So I'm caught in a balancing act between what I want (the coffee, yum) and what I know I should not have. I've gotten very slack about it lately. As in, last night when I came home from choir? Chips and cheese dip. Yeah.
My tactic is usually to count calories, and the way I ration them out is backwards from what most of the "experts" suggest -- I eat smaller, healthier breakfasts and lunches (when I'm being good and eating breakfasts), which are generally by myself so no one else has to suffer through the whole wheat or the bland veggies. I save my "points" or calories for dinnertime with my family, when I just make a regular casserole or whatever, which might have cheese or (gasp!) actual pasta. That's a Weight Watchers behavior, I guess, since they say you can eat what you want, when you want, as long as you're within your points. I can deal with that. It means if I want to have a buffalo wing with bleu cheese, all I have to do is save up. (A friend of mine, just after we got out of college, did that once. We were all gathered for beers, wings, and team trivia, and she was sooo excited about her ONE little measly wing that she had saved up for. I was proud of her and I've never forgotten it.)
Anyway, I need to do better with what I put in, as well as, you've heard me say this before, my output of energy. Yesterday I walked to lunch with 2 coworkers, and had a salad. Albeit a creamy-dressing-tortilla-strips-topping one. But still, I WANTED a regular Chicken sammy and waffle fries, so I count that as a victory. Yay, me! Here are my Standard Operating Procedures when I'm au regime; maybe some of these will be useful to you, if you're also on this body-image, weight-loss roller coaster that seems to be womanhood, for most of us:
Countdown to Beach Week: 12 weeks. Long enough for a visible difference, if I do this right.
P.S. It's interesting to me that for the first time, really, I'm determined but not desperate. I feel pretty calm about getting back "on the wagon." Wonder why that is?
My tactic is usually to count calories, and the way I ration them out is backwards from what most of the "experts" suggest -- I eat smaller, healthier breakfasts and lunches (when I'm being good and eating breakfasts), which are generally by myself so no one else has to suffer through the whole wheat or the bland veggies. I save my "points" or calories for dinnertime with my family, when I just make a regular casserole or whatever, which might have cheese or (gasp!) actual pasta. That's a Weight Watchers behavior, I guess, since they say you can eat what you want, when you want, as long as you're within your points. I can deal with that. It means if I want to have a buffalo wing with bleu cheese, all I have to do is save up. (A friend of mine, just after we got out of college, did that once. We were all gathered for beers, wings, and team trivia, and she was sooo excited about her ONE little measly wing that she had saved up for. I was proud of her and I've never forgotten it.)
Anyway, I need to do better with what I put in, as well as, you've heard me say this before, my output of energy. Yesterday I walked to lunch with 2 coworkers, and had a salad. Albeit a creamy-dressing-tortilla-strips-topping one. But still, I WANTED a regular Chicken sammy and waffle fries, so I count that as a victory. Yay, me! Here are my Standard Operating Procedures when I'm au regime; maybe some of these will be useful to you, if you're also on this body-image, weight-loss roller coaster that seems to be womanhood, for most of us:
- Log foods eaten and exercise done at Fitday.com. This is easy for me, since I'm at a computer most days already.
- Visit the WebMD Dieting Club for camraderie and accountability. I've been on that board since 2003 and have made a couple of really good online frieinds, one of whom I met in person (hi, Stacie!) last year. If you're into online communities, this is a great one.
- Workout. Three times a week is the goal; anything more is a bonus. (At least, 3x a week is the goal when I start out. And I'm usually... always... "starting out." Heh.)
- Swear off regular Coke. So hard!! Sometimes I allow *one,* if I have plenty of cals leftover. But Coke is really a big problem for me. Diet Coke? Meh. It's like room temperature water to me. No flavor, no refreshment. I suffer through it.
- Still pay attention, but take a break from the numbers on weekends. Partly because I don't really get online on the weekends, but also because ya gotta relax, once in a while.
Countdown to Beach Week: 12 weeks. Long enough for a visible difference, if I do this right.
P.S. It's interesting to me that for the first time, really, I'm determined but not desperate. I feel pretty calm about getting back "on the wagon." Wonder why that is?
Wednesday, March 29
What are you lookin' at?
I'm not sure if I ever told you, but I had a New Year's Resolution, supplied by my husband. He suggested that I try to stop seeing everything he does and says as negative. Exhibit A:
Him: Hm, I guess we need to hold the cord of the vacuum up, so it doesn't keep getting frayed by the brushes.
Me: Honey, you've said that before and I DO lift it up. Sorry, gees. Grrr.
Him: I didn't mean YOU! I'm the one who vacuumed last.
Exhibit B:
Him: (watching me as I tie a scarf around my waist)
Me: WHAT. Does this look stupid or something?
Him: Honey, I was just watching you do that. I didn't know you knew how to tie that knot. Relax.
Exhibit C:
Me: I'm sorry this dinner isn't very creative; I know you don't like Kraft Mac-n-Cheese but I just couldn't come up with....
Him: Why do you always assume I'm criticizing you in my head? This dinner is JUST FINE. I know you're busy. You do a great job.
So I really owe him an apology about this. Three months in to 2006 and I'm still doing it. I don't know if it stems from previous relationships I've had, where the guy was always out to tease me -- two different guys I dated did this, in fact -- but I always presume that I'm being made fun of (in the scarf example), or picked on. And the fact is, my dear husband is so kind and treats me so carefully, that he would NEVER be that way. I KNOW this... but still, I let that weird bit of low self-esteem get me every so often. Especially when I'm tired.
And there's your glimpse into the shadows of my psyche for today!
Him: Hm, I guess we need to hold the cord of the vacuum up, so it doesn't keep getting frayed by the brushes.
Me: Honey, you've said that before and I DO lift it up. Sorry, gees. Grrr.
Him: I didn't mean YOU! I'm the one who vacuumed last.
Exhibit B:
Him: (watching me as I tie a scarf around my waist)
Me: WHAT. Does this look stupid or something?
Him: Honey, I was just watching you do that. I didn't know you knew how to tie that knot. Relax.
Exhibit C:
Me: I'm sorry this dinner isn't very creative; I know you don't like Kraft Mac-n-Cheese but I just couldn't come up with....
Him: Why do you always assume I'm criticizing you in my head? This dinner is JUST FINE. I know you're busy. You do a great job.
So I really owe him an apology about this. Three months in to 2006 and I'm still doing it. I don't know if it stems from previous relationships I've had, where the guy was always out to tease me -- two different guys I dated did this, in fact -- but I always presume that I'm being made fun of (in the scarf example), or picked on. And the fact is, my dear husband is so kind and treats me so carefully, that he would NEVER be that way. I KNOW this... but still, I let that weird bit of low self-esteem get me every so often. Especially when I'm tired.
And there's your glimpse into the shadows of my psyche for today!
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