Taming the Food Lion

A bit of an interesting discussion is happening between me (so far) and my buddy Krissypoopyhands about weight loss and healthy food choices and getting into that mentality. For the last four or five days, I've been saying to myself, over and over, "I need to be putting healthy things into my body." And sometimes it moves me to actually do that; like now, when I'm having a whole wheat mini-bagel, light cream cheese (1 tbsp, not two or three like I'd prefer), and a few slices of tomato. I get all proud of myself for not having a Pop Tart. And then in the next breath I pour my second cup of full-strength coffee. I use Splenda and fat-free cream, so it can't be all bad, fat and calorie-wise. But still? Caffeine doesn't really fit into the "healthy things" realm, and I know this. So I'm caught in a balancing act between what I want (the coffee, yum) and what I know I should not have. I've gotten very slack about it lately. As in, last night when I came home from choir? Chips and cheese dip. Yeah.

My tactic is usually to count calories, and the way I ration them out is backwards from what most of the "experts" suggest -- I eat smaller, healthier breakfasts and lunches (when I'm being good and eating breakfasts), which are generally by myself so no one else has to suffer through the whole wheat or the bland veggies. I save my "points" or calories for dinnertime with my family, when I just make a regular casserole or whatever, which might have cheese or (gasp!) actual pasta. That's a Weight Watchers behavior, I guess, since they say you can eat what you want, when you want, as long as you're within your points. I can deal with that. It means if I want to have a buffalo wing with bleu cheese, all I have to do is save up. (A friend of mine, just after we got out of college, did that once. We were all gathered for beers, wings, and team trivia, and she was sooo excited about her ONE little measly wing that she had saved up for. I was proud of her and I've never forgotten it.)

Anyway, I need to do better with what I put in, as well as, you've heard me say this before, my output of energy. Yesterday I walked to lunch with 2 coworkers, and had a salad. Albeit a creamy-dressing-tortilla-strips-topping one. But still, I WANTED a regular Chicken sammy and waffle fries, so I count that as a victory. Yay, me! Here are my Standard Operating Procedures when I'm au regime; maybe some of these will be useful to you, if you're also on this body-image, weight-loss roller coaster that seems to be womanhood, for most of us:

• Log foods eaten and exercise done at Fitday.com. This is easy for me, since I'm at a computer most days already.
• Visit the WebMD Dieting Club for camraderie and accountability. I've been on that board since 2003 and have made a couple of really good online frieinds, one of whom I met in person (hi, Stacie!) last year. If you're into online communities, this is a great one.
• Workout. Three times a week is the goal; anything more is a bonus. (At least, 3x a week is the goal when I start out. And I'm usually... always... "starting out." Heh.)
• Swear off regular Coke. So hard!! Sometimes I allow *one,* if I have plenty of cals leftover. But Coke is really a big problem for me. Diet Coke? Meh. It's like room temperature water to me. No flavor, no refreshment. I suffer through it.
• Still pay attention, but take a break from the numbers on weekends. Partly because I don't really get online on the weekends, but also because ya gotta relax, once in a while.

That's it. Those are my strategies. They're very basic. But I believe it's a lifelong journey -- it's not a three-week marathon -- so I don't want too many rules. Of course, I'm lucky, I don't have any other food issues, like allergies or intestinal conditions. At my (non-pregnant) heaviest several years ago, I was 148 lbs, 5'1". Which is not pretty. Since 2003, I've come down to much closer to my "ideal" weight of about 130. I'm at 134 right now. What I need is to Tone the F Up. (With that exact adverb.) So today, Pilates/Yoga and a cardio workout.

Countdown to Beach Week: 12 weeks. Long enough for a visible difference, if I do this right.

P.S. It's interesting to me that for the first time, really, I'm determined but not desperate. I feel pretty calm about getting back "on the wagon." Wonder why that is?