Interesting Title Here

It's the week before vacation week, a.k.a. the Longest Week Of the Year, and I'm feeling it! Lots to do at work, and more interestingly, lots to do for my second "job" for the marching band. Unfortunately, a couple of those tasks are phone calls and require me to ASK PEOPLE for things, which isn't ever fun. I could never be in sales, ever. 

First is to set up a party, which naturally falls to the Events coordinators. I'm less worried about that call, except that the first time I tried it this morning, I was holding-slash-being transferred, and I heard someone pick up the line and then hang up before saying hello! Ugh. I gave them 10 minutes and then called back, only to go to Voicemail. So that creates an additional task: Follow up. 

The second call is infinitely more daunting -- it's asking for a Large-Dollar-Amount Sponsorship from a restaurant, so that we can then order food for the band from them. That will require all of my Girl Scout Cookie Sales skills, for sure. On the plus side, all they can say is, "No thanks, we're not interested." But on the minus side, then I have to call someone ELSE. 

Well. I'm trying to have a good attitude about the whole thing in order to keep from letting it stress me out. "This is just for fun!" and "I totally wanted this job!" and "I'm just a PARENT, if I do a mediocre job no one can fault me!" and also a bit of, "Come on, ANYONE can do this and I am a SMART PERSON, so it is no big deal." These are the cheerleader-y things I tell myself. It's all oooohhhhh-kaaaaayyyyyyy. Breathe.

 - - - - - - - -

Next week while we're at the beach, I think I am going to take a 100% social media break. I'm sure I've done it before, and definitely want to again. I find, so often, that I am seeing the same posts again and again. There's nothing NEW. Even if it IS new, it's not that interesting, and certainly not critical to my life. And of course it makes me feel deflated and unfocused and bleh, if I allow myself to think about how I feel as I scroll along. Gross.

Social media is so complicated, isn't it? I'm not one to post every day -- far from it. I figure that's the best way to get yourself unfollowed, so I try to keep it pretty sparse. I post pics of the holidays, the special events, the kids' milestones. On one hand, I do want to share and celebrate our life with our friends ("friends") -- but on the other hand, I don't want to exploit my kids, one, or be too braggy, either. (I HATE braggy on social media.) Or think that other people CARE if, say, Kate and I wore matching shirts or something. I mean, it's silly, right? I definitely will not show you my painted toenails facing the ocean. 

And now that my kids are both also ON Instagram, I can't tag them without their permission, and don't want to embarrass them (further). I can't figure out the balance there. I could share photos of inanimate objects (books, my coffee cup, my garden), maybe the occasional selfie, but I don't have a "persona" or a "theme"... I do like the idea of capturing small moments and remembering them, but when I'm 90 will I want to see coffee cups? I just don't know. 

Anyway, I need a break from it. So instead of picking up my phone for Faceblech or Twitter or IG, I'll pick it up to TAKE PHOTOS of my family. I will pick up books instead. I will pick up playing cards or the newspaper. Or I will take a nap! Go for a walk. Visit a cousin in the condo across the parking lot. 

This is the plan! 

47 in '21

I definitely should have taken today off work - my birthday. Because it isn't even 9:00 am and I'm dealing with 3 ANNOYING work situations already, and have a meeting scheduled to start shortly. BOTHER.

This is a mistake I won't repeat! Grown adults should always take PTO for their birthdays!

If I had my druthers, I'd be drinking my 2nd cup of coffee on the porch, and finishing my book. (It's a good one!) 

Instead, I will power through this stuff, and then go to Starbucks for my FREE birthday drink (at Kate's urging, of course, so she can have a drink, too), and then probably work on my grocery list and menus for the next week. Don't worry, I find that a fun task. The kids leave for camp on Sunday, so there's gonna be some SPICY FOOD on the list while they're gone! (Do you think about spicy food, and how our taste buds diminish as we age, so we like spicy food more when we're older, as much as I do? I think about it a lot.)

Swift subject change: I just had to do something unpleasant (on my birthday!). I have a friend from college, my "big sister" in the sorority, actually, who is doing a MLM jewelry business. She's been leaving me not only text messages in Facebook Messenger, but also voice memos, so it feels more personal, asking if I want to host parties or buy X for just $10, or whatever. I've been ignoring them for the most part. I did buy some jewelry from her a few months ago, because I was looking for something hypo-allergenic and that's what she sells, but... some of it turned out not to be exactly what I was looking for, and it's not cheap. It was fine, I'm not mad about that, and happy to support her once. Anyway, she had left me a salesy message yesterday (which I ignored), and then this morning sent a Happy Birthday. Argh. I couldn't ignore that, so I had to say thank you, and also "I'm sorry I haven't responded to your other messages. I'm guess I'm not that interested....? Don't want to hurt feelings and I wish you well in the business but I don't want to host parties or anything." Ugh. Makes me feel terrible to write it but please STAHHHHP. (Is it too mean? I'm having Send-button regret! Ack.)

The weird thing is, she's a lawyer. Her husband is a successful real estate agent. It isn't like she depends on this money (I don't think). I just wish she wasn't' so pushy. (She always was kind-of a big personality, though, it fits her.) 

ANYWAY: Fun spicy menu options, let's go! 

Nearly every year they've gone to camp, I've made one of our faves that we used to eat regularly Before Kids: Shrimp Durango. It's super good, but I might need a break from even our once-a-year tradition of eating it. Other options I might try....

Chipotle Shrimp and Rice Bowl -- wow, that looks good. With some guacamole on the side....? Heaven.

Baked Buffalo Wings -- YUM. Definitely a favorite of mine and Shawn's, and I could even make homemade Ranch to dip them in (and bleu cheese for me). Better if I can make them without full-fat butter, and not fried... Or maybe we'll just go to Taco Mac. 

Fish Tacos -- I don't have a good recipe although this one does look good. Usually I use fish sticks, which we keep in the freezer, and make a jalepeno tartar sauce by mixing mayo, diced pickled jalepenos and some of their juice, garlic, garlic salt, and lemon juice. It's always a trial and error recipe but when I get it right, it's excellent.

Sweet Pork Enchiladas - I have a can of green enchilada sauce just waiting to be used... this would be slightly different from the usual enchiladas... but only slightly. It's a maybe.

The dinner-planning funk has been verrrrrrry apparent this last couple of weeks at my house, so it's nice to think about different things to try. Allrecipes.com is so old-school, isn't it? One of the first websites I remember subscribing to, in 2000, probably. 

I might rather eat out all 5 days they are gone, though. We shall see! 

Happy birthday to me! Forty-seven, my goodness. 

That's a Wrap on Schoolyear '20-21

FINALLY, school is over in this house! It seemed to drag on this week -- especially because one kid was finished with his last exam on Wednesday morning, but the other kid had 2 more days to go. But today as of noon, they are both officially on summer vacation, woo hoo!

I can feel palpable relief in the air. Kate said, "RIP my bedtime!" with glee. (Me: "I... hope you won't stay up 'til 3 a.m. every night....?" Her: (stares blankly at me). Teenagers.

This morning Shawn asked me to water the backyard with our sprinkler (not an installed system, just the old-school revolving one at the end of a hose), and even that felt kind-of like summer fun, getting wet but not minding, when I moved it every half-hour. :)

At 2:00 p.m. I will drive her over to CVS to get her first dose of the vaccine! And THEN we will get some double-celebratory ice cream.

In the next 2 summer months, I'm looking forward to:

• Popsicles
• Quiet mornings while they sleep in
• More grilling and maybe even patio dinners
• Enjoying our backyard and my flowers (and tomatoes - looks like so far we're going to have a great crop from our one plant!)
• Fruit: Strawberries, melon, cherries
• Maybe a rewatch of Mrs. Maisel, which was My Show last summer and is just so fun
• Pedicures 
• Maybe some new clothes for myself - I spend so much time thinking about clothes for the kids
• A little bit of sun on my legs, face
• Going in to my office more (HA! Just a little joke!)
• My birthday!
• Our beach trip!

Picking Up

Do you remember when May was SO busy we couldn't see straight? End of year parties, weddings, graduations, Mother's Day, Memorial Day, packing for camp, recitals, awards receptions... Aside from the weather, I used to almost dread May.

Last year, of course, we didn't have any of it. I mean, people still graduated, but it feels like everything else was just skipped, and that was fine by me. I noticed that I only have one post from last May, and it was on a day when I was furloughed and the kids basically slept in and then did their assignments on their own schedules. Kind-of weird to think about it now, really. My company's business has picked up pretty well since then, and of course the kids are now IN school, and winding down to their last 10 days or so.

With the vaccines and the new mask guidance (which, yikes... a little premature imho), everything's coming back. We're grateful, right? Yes, of course. It is right and good and thank Science. 

And it's also pretty overwhelming. 

I did get voted in to the Band Boosters Board, and have since had 1 Zoom meeting and 2 in-person obligations (Kickoff Weekend), and I LOVE IT, but wow: I'd forgotten. 

Having to wash my hair and finish my coffee to be somewhere at 9:00 am on a Saturday is new! 

It probably follows that work will gear back up, too, and I'll have to commit to going to the office more days per week again. I wonder how long it will be until I'm asked to travel? Ugh. Conferences, site visits, global meetings....? How will those factor in to my volunteer schedule, haha... oh dear...? 

I am having trouble scheduling Kate's first vaccine, because her June is so packed full of camp and other activities already, that scheduling the 3-weeks-later dose is hard! But we will get there. (At least one conflict is our beach vacation.)

It's going to be GREAT. I am going to do FINE on the board, they are going to be glad they have me and things will fall into place. This is what I keep telling myself. And even when St Joe's Drama Club comes back in full force and Mrs. M. starts sending me requests to be the Business Manager (I kind-of already am), I can do that, too. It will all work out. Positive Attitude will Make It So. You need something done? Ask a busy person. It is going to be FUN, after a year of NOT FUN (or, a year to enjoy the quiet, at-home bliss...). 

'21-22 is our year of having an 8th grader, who graduates, and a high school senior! Oh, the places they'll go! Will we have 2 graduation parties? I'm thinking yes, probably... and what about a wedding in the family next year (my sister)?! When and how?! Well, I can't get ahead of myself there. Just roll with it, and keep eyes open to try to ENJOY everything. Yes, that's the ticket. Happy, proud and thrilled. 

- - - - - - 

And what have we been eating lately? I don't know how I got out of the habit of sharing that here -- I still love reading people's menus on other blogs -- but maybe mine just don't seem that interesting to me. (Of course not, duh.) I can't see NOT planning my menu and thus my grocery list, but gosh, am I tired of it. Even after creating a spreadsheet of all the meals I can remember, so I could literally just highlight 6 meals and the week would be decided. 

Anyway, I've been sick of it, but have PERSEVERED. This week, we are planning the following for dinners:

Sunday - Salisbury Steak with egg noodles, and steamed green beans. This recipe is so tried-and-true, and everyone in the family likes it. I made extra and we still didn't have any leftover. I highly recommend you double the sauce. It's good over mashed potatoes, too, but very rich.

Monday - Chicken Piccata. My kids have never tried this and I've never made it, but it does not look that difficult. And I love it, I order it at restaurants sometimes. I am also making a very fancy packet of Lipton/Knorr Parmesan noodles to go with it, and probably a salad. I seem to have lots of lettuce and cabbage at the moment.

Tuesday - Make Your Own Pizza (Flatbreads). 

Wednesday - My parents will be here! Their first visit in more than a year (SOB)! So I'm planning on Bulgogi Pork Tenderloin, Jasmine Rice, and broccoli. Hope I can get the timing right. (If not, we'll keep eating happy hour cheese and crackers, I'm sure. I have been somewhat resisting cheese, [except for the Rotel dip I made last week, oops] and so I'm pretty excited about this.)

Thursday - I slotted in a takeout night for ease of mind, but it's possible we'll think of something to cook. My Dad always suggests meatloaf, which I find funny. I don't get very excited about meatloaf.

Friday - BBQ Ribs. We've made them a few times this year and have found a good recipe, which I like so much I wrote down in my recipe book, and for which I then promptly lost the link. But they use a dry rub, cook in the oven for 2.5 hours at 250, and then you grill them for 5 minutes. They're perfect. I'm making corn, plus corn casserole, plus maybe baked beans to go with them. 

At The Office, Warming Up My Typing Fingers

Howdy-do. Today I must rewrite a few articles for our company's website. Ehhhh, I'm not feeling it yet. 

We had a busy weekend -- it felt like pre-pandemic times, honestly. 

1. We went out on a Friday night! Kate's bestie from summer camp was in a play, so we drove across town to see her. It was Once Upon a Mattress, which is a favorite musical of mine from loooong ago. I saw it in, hmmm, probably 1988 or so, in Pensacola. This one was a middle school production but was HIGH quality. They are lucky to have such a nice stage, and sets and lighting and costumes. Made our little program at St. Joe's seem a bit more amateur than usual, but hey, you work with what you've got. Creating something from nothing is part of the fun of theater. Anyway, the show was wonderful and Kate's friend was the lead! 
2. Saturday morning, we had somewhere to be at 9:00 am! It was pick-up day for the marching band plant sale. May 1 seems LATE for delivering plants in GA, as mentioned earlier on this blog, but it worked out well because it was a good day to be out in the yard planting. I even got slightly sunburned. Now my yard looks happier and I am, too. I've finally learned that planting/tending annuals isn't a chore; instead, it makes me happy. Puttering around in the dirt, adding color -- even deadheading ALL the pansies I ended up with. I'm not an expert or a green thumb, and maybe it makes me an old lady (along with my bird-watching habit, ha!) ...but I guess I don't care. Nataly Kogan talks a lot about doing things that bring you joy, and I'm always trying to FIND those things. 
3. THEN, friends: Alex went to prom! He and several of his friends, all girls, had made plans. One is his girlfriend (green dress), although we don't talk very much about it. ;) They had a photoshoot with all of us moms at the nearest botanical garden, which is where we got all these pics. They were driven by 2 moms, and driven home by the girlfriend's dad (!), and I'm told it was a happy evening. As it should be. I'm so glad he got to go. (There were masks "encouraged," but he said no one really wore them inside the venue. :/ Not surprising, but at least he's half-vaccinated, and I assume a lot of the kids are.)
   

   

   Looking so dapper. His first real suit, his first pocket square that I didn't know how in the heck to fold. I was in a hurry when I Googled it. 

   
   

   

   My favorite photo of the afternoon. These kids were so good to us, letting us walk them all over the park to find picturesque spots.

   
   

   

   Really loved her dress and how his grey/navy complemented it. She was wearing heels -- they are just about the same height in normal clothes.

   
   

   

   All us moms-turned-photography-experts love how this one turned out. 

    

After all that (plus Kate spent the night with a friend, as well, AND Shawn and I painted the garage!!), we were POOPED, but happy. And gosh, what a glimpse into how it's going to be as we all start returning to life as we knew it. My 2nd vaccine happens tomorrow, and then Shawn's and Alex's next week, and they're about to OK it for ages 12-15, which means Kate will be eligible at last.

Do I want this level of activity every weekend? NO. But do I want back the option? YES, INDEEDY.

Band Boosters News

The first time I went to a Marching Band Boosters meeting, I cried. The Boosters were, of course, enthusiastically telling us newbies that band is a FAMILY and how it was going to change our students' lives, and ours too, especially if we GET INVOLVED. They were really being honest and genuine along with their desperation to sign us up for jobs (I knew their ploy), and it got right to the core of me. I love stuff like that. I love thinking of young lives changed, forever friendships, and all that. 

I watched the co-president up there making her speech, and I wanted to be her. I already admired the directors from the little I'd heard them speak at new-parent meetings, and I knew I wanted to know them better, and them to know me. I wanted them to be impressed with my kid, yes, but some part of me felt like a student again, wanting to be seen (Please be my friend!!). I was bummed we'd missed out on a year of it already, since Alex didn't march his freshman year, but no matter -- I was going to get myself involved and meet the people and do the thing. 

So we did. Shawn and I helped with concessions at some events. I tried chaperoning at a game or two. I helped serve and clean up at a few banquets. I sold "shout-outs" at a color guard competition. Shawn was on the parking crew at football games. I tried sewing hems on uniforms at the beginning of the year. And by golly, we went on the big trip as supporters! I wanted to give everything a shot, to see what I liked. It was a really good testing-out year. I learned that a lot of it was a BIG No Thanks, like uniforms and game-day chaperones (as opposed to Band Camp chaperones). And then Covid struck, and this year there haven't been any volunteer opportunities to speak of. 

So imagine my surprise when last night, the outgoing co-president called me up and asked me to please serve on the Board, as co-president for next year! 

...Don't get too excited, I can't take that job. Not because I don't want it! I DEFINITELY wanted it! But they're looking for a parent of a junior or someone who has a younger band-kid as well, because they already have one co-pres who's graduating out in '22. So sad! I had to tell them that we, too, will graduate... so they immediately moved down the list of jobs to Co-Chair of Events -- with my favorite parent I've met so far in band (underclassman, so she'll stay another year after me). So there you have it: IF I was approved last night on the official slate of officers, I am about to be Co-Chair of Events! 

Daunting, for SURE. Besides once a week meetings, there are a LOT of Events to be in charge of. But the good news is, I can let myself off the hook a little for other things. No need to stretch too thin. (I'm sure I'll be suckered into everything, anyway.)

Hey, there is other, BIGGER band news: Alex was chosen to be Clarinet section co-leader! WOO HOO! He is going to be great at it and I'm thrilled for him. There used to be a Leadership Retreat -- a camping trip -- over the summer, but he thinks that's not happening this year. Still, a great honor for him. I can't believe it's going to be his senior year. It's a good thing I'll be busy. No time to think about it!

I do want to say that I'm banking on WFH Forever, here, to make this work. Most events happen after school of course, but flexibility is going to be the name of the game. 

Next weekend is the end-of-year concert. I'm on concessions duty and Shawn will be taking temperatures of attendees. We're IN IT, y'all. Doing the thing. 

A Day in the Life, Lately

My routine is pretty settled, lately, and I like it. I just went back and read a Day in the Life post from 2006, when Alex (AJ, when the blog wasn't private) was just barely TWO. Things are certainly different now, whoa.

Right now it goes like this. We wake up (Shawn first, now that I'm leaving the house Never, or at least Later than him when I do go in on Tuesdays), shower, get dressed, etc. I go downstairs by about 6:30 to start making Kate's lunch. During Covid-school, there's no Fun Food so it's a lunchbox every day, and I gotta tell you, I'm TIRED of it. I try to mix it up for her with a salad one day, a warm quesadilla another day, but otherwise it's a sandwich. And her veggies and fruit and something sweet and something salty. Some of that is for snack. 

Alex wakes later, as well, and arrives in the kitchen while Kate's eating breakfast, usually. We do the morning "ballet" of everyone trying not to bump into each other as we open drawers, fridges, cabinets, making lunches or breakfasts or coffees. Then Shawn and Kate leave for St. Joe's and Alex eats while I drink coffee and look at my paper planner, trying to pick my Top Three tasks (there's a spot on each day for them). I also like to start the day with gratitude which I write in the back of the book, but I don't like to do it while he's there because for some reason I'm a little embarrassed by it. So I typically sit at the bar if he's at the table, or I'll wait until after he leaves. He often practices piano before he leaves to drive himself to school (!!) around 7:40. 

By that time I've opened the laptop and checked email, made my Top 3 list (more like Top 5), and written any meetings on the page. I am finding it satisfying to include a couple of Home tasks in the top three/five. Like, today I really need to wash towels, so that's on the list. Yesterday I wanted to make strawberry sorbet, so that was a task to look forward to. (And it turned out great!)

And then around 8:15 I usually sit down on the couch with the Calm app and/or the Bible app for a little quiet time. I try to keep it to 15 minutes. 

Afterwards, I go around the downstairs opening the window blinds, and get to work. Because it's been nice weather, I've been opening actual windows lately, which the cats love. :)

I take plenty of breaks, but not long ones. Sometimes I step outside to see how the weather is, or deadhead some plants. I fill my water glass and take my vitamins. Switch the laundry. I have been using Pomodoro method for working when I have a big project to dig into -- setting a timer for 25 minutes of work, and then a 10 minute break. Some days I feel like I set timers all day long, but it seems to help keep me focused. 

I've been forgetting that my shoulders, wrists and neck will hurt if I don't go upstairs to the actual office chair, and use the actual keyboard instead of this tiny laptop one. But am TRYING to remember to do that around 11. This also helps later in the afternoon when Kate gets home, because she spreads her homework stuff out on the kitchen table and it's best if I'm not stationed there, if I want to get anything else done. So I go upstairs. 

The last few days I've been good about working out before lunch. I like this schedule. If I don't get it done then, I'll do it after dinner, or go for a walk with whomever wants to join me. 25 minutes or so is all I require of myself. It's enough.

2:30 is time to leave for carpool at 3:00. It's a nice time of day to leave, right before the afternoon doldrums. By the time we get back at 3:45 or 4, I will just need to do an hour-ish more of work, then call it a day. Have I really done 8 hours' worth? Probably not. Am I counting hours? Well, yes, I still do. But I don't get hung up on it, if I've made progress on tasks or projects, which I usually have.

By 5:30 I need to be starting dinner. It's so satisfying to close down the laptop and know I don't have to open it until the next day. Of course, if there's some big deadline or I've missed more than an hour or 2, I'll do a little more work, but that's hardly ever. 

We eat, we clean up, we either walk or not, change into comfy pants and sit down to relax. Sometimes Shawn practices cornhole in the backyard while I read my book. The kids usually do homework, take showers, go to piano lessons, or practice in the next room (always right when we turn on the TV, it seems, so we can't hear our show.... we try not to complain; it won't be forever... but we always glance at each other and sigh, lol). 

Kate's into The Office right now so we typically watch one episode at 9:00. It's so fun to revisit that show. And then bedtime! Kate loves to play this game where she blocks my way into my bedroom or bathroom by making me guess the password. It's SO ANNOYING. But I'm sure one day I'll remember it with a chuckle. She finds it funny that it makes me mad. Both kids always come in one more time after we've gotten in bed to tell us good night. I think of it as tucking us in. It's sweet.

These are good days. I'm really savoring working from home, as you WELL KNOW. I think we will start to have to be back in the office more frequently, soon. And I guess that will be okay. But I am just loving this time. Kids are very self-sufficient. I have work to do and home-care to do, and I GET to do it. I watch the birds in my backyard. I feel good. I just want to acknowledge it, here. Happy Thursday.

Thank you, Scientists! My Arm Hurts.

I had my first dose of Pfizer yesterday and today my arm is very sore. Hooray! My experience was super-easy overall. I waited until they opened the vaccines up to all adults 16+ even though I could have qualified earlier, with a BMI of 26, juuuust over what they consider "healthy." I didn't want to admit it, I guess. But no matter, yesterday was my day. There is a mass drive-through vaccination site about 15 minutes from my house. I got an appointment without any difficulty, drove over there, showed them my driver's license and the QR code I was given at registration, and they gave me the goods. I think it took about 40 minutes altogether, including the 10 minutes I waited afterwards. 

It WAS oddly dystopian to drive toward the white tents, stopping every few feet to consult with National Guardsmen and women in their camo fatigues while they checked me in. And yes, I did get teary right before I went into the line, thinking about the possible end to all of this pandemic drama, all the times (twice) it made me cry with worry, and all the people who had to die before we could get to this point. But I pulled myself together as quickly as I could, looked away, and took that jab. Thank you, scientists. Thank you, National Guard. Thank you, volunteers. My next appointment is on Cinco de Mayo and you can bet I will be having a Large Margarita to celebrate (if I don't have side effects, of course). 

* * * * *

Prior to that happy day yesterday, it was Spring Break. We took the kids to Asheville, NC, to visit the Biltmore. Shawn and I have been there before, but the kids hadn't, so off we went. I'll admit it was my second choice for Spring Break; first choice would have been visiting some colleges with Alex. But that was not to be, I guess, and may not have gotten us out of town, which was something I think we all needed, in a way. 

I found a cottage on VRBO for not too much money, and booked it. Notoriously bad with choosing hotels (because they're so expensive and I always try to go for less-so, and land us in sketchy areas of towns), I think I did okay this time. It wasn't fancy, and wasn't quite "charmingly tucked away in the mountains," but it wasn't too far from that and was nice enough. It had 2 bedrooms, 2 full baths and 1 half, and a deck on which to drink our morning coffee. It had bears! Shawn heard them knock over the trash cans during the night! It was less than 5 minutes from the Blue Ridge Parkway, and so we did take the time to drive up and back down windy roads, stopping for a photo along the scenic overlook toward those famous mountains. 

And we love the Biltmore tour. Our very own American castle. I would have liked to have spent the whole day there including some time hiking, and some sitting down in the winery (!), but with the kiddos the winery wasn't an option. Besides, we found them to be very teenager-y this trip, not so interested in really DOING things, kinda preferring to look at their phones on the cottage wi-fi, if I'm totally honest. But the positive side of that is, we had plenty of down time while they slept in, and before/after dinner both nights we were away. And down time is a good thing, especially away from home where you can't be tempted to clean or fix anything.

We came home on a Friday, another brilliant plan I must say, because then we still had a whole weekend before having to go back to work and school. Tip from me to you!

* * * * *

The kids are already counting down the days until summer break. I am, too, really, because it feels like summer will be the start of normality (fingers crossed). Marching band has released their calendar and it includes competitions and trips (normal!). Camp documents are due and camp (Alex's last!) begins June 6 (normal, although it's only 1 week this year instead of 2). We are planning our usual (normal!) week in Destin with the family. We're looking ahead to Kate going on a beach trip with her bestie's family, and possibly Alex going on the band leadership retreat (if he gets chosen, hope hope), as well as 2 weeks of (normal!) band camp in July. 

(This is also the 2nd summer in a row with NO pre-panic (about setting up a nanny and/or camps, etc.)! Last year it was because Covid gave us a pass, but THIS YEAR I have a teenage driver! If they're bored in the house they can GO DO SOMETHING. I can't believe this is a fact, but it is.) 

I don't want to jinx it, but this all seems like hope is starting to gain a foothold around us. :) 

Miss Independence

 I've just driven myself home after leaving Kate at the Marietta Square, a market/food hall 30 minutes from us (close to her school). She has the day off, and her girlfriends wanted to get together. There is one mom who plans to stay in her car, reading her book, because she lives even farther away than I do and it didn't make sense for her to drive home. For this I'm grateful.

I know that when I was thirteen, which she IS, however much I want to think she is still twelve, I was going to movies by myself (with friends), and to meet at the mall. I know that she is of the right age where this is acceptable. But it still felt very odd to drive away. 

My main concern, however, is that she will LEAVE something behind, as she is wont to do. I can't tell you how many times over the past several years that we have been out shopping, and she'll look up and realize she set her purse/iPod down in a store and left it there. Back to Justice or Claire's we would run-walk, hoping and praying they saved it. When we visited Nashville a few spring breaks ago, she left her Instax camera somewhere, and it was never to be found again. Argh. 

But THIS weekend was the worst. She went to a birthday party in downtown Atlanta (a friend's mom did the driving), and later realized she'd left her purse at the ice cream shop. The mom called he shop to confirm the purse was there, and told me they would stay open until 11pm. All of us live at least a half-hour from town and this was around 7 pm (I truly don't know WHY they chose this particular place for a birthday party, but whatever). So what did I get to do on Saturday night, before I had eaten? Drive into town. Traffic was terrible, and it took us muuuuuch longer than I anticipated. Kate asked me in a text beforehand, couldn't I just go get it and then pick her up from the friend's???? HAHAHA, NO, I texted back. You are going with me. 

And she did. Her utter silence the whoooole way there and back indicated she was feeling the proper amount of mad, whether at herself or at me is unclear. ;) Just kidding, I know she felt terrible; she actually offered to give me some money since I had to drive all that way (when I had planned a nice dinner for the four of us at home). Of course I didn't make her pay me, and I tried not to be mad directly AT her, but... I can't say I was 100% successful. 

Anyway, I believe she has learned her lesson. Nevertheless, I texted her just now: "Phone! Purse! Hoodie! Just your periodic reminder! xxx" 

She replied that she has them. Don't think I won't do it again in 30 minutes. 

Pandemic Diary, Day 365

 Whoa, y'all. One year. 

I remember in the week leading up to March 16, continuously refreshing a Johns Hopkins webpage with a map that had little red dots bursting when new cases popped up. And I remember feeling so bad for the people on the cruise ships that weren't being let off -- remember that? It was contained on cruise ships at first. I remember stocking up our pantry for the first time, not knowing if we would be able to go to the grocery store for 2 weeks (we were able to) -- I bought some EasyMac, ingredients for making chili, some canned fruit, extra soups, and, sort-of inexplicably, some packaged dry pizza dough mix. I remember sewing my first cloth mask, by hand, and tying it around my head with leftover pink shoelaces I had in my craft bin. I felt SO WEIRD that first time at the store wearing it. 

Then I remember the kids being extra diligent in those first weeks last spring, both in their rooms, figuring out Google Meet. They handled virtual school so well. I can't believe we did nearly that entire semester from home. (I know others have done so much MORE online school, with challenges; we really have been blessed that they could go back this year. For posterity, Kate went back in-person, masked and distanced in a very different classroom, in August, Alex not until November, with about 65% of his school opting for in-person.) 

I remember being temporarily furloughed, twice. How hard it was for my manager to tell me, and how I wasn't truly worried, because they said from the first breath that no one would lose our jobs, but that I still felt teary and like a big weight had just landed in the pit of my stomach, after that Skype call. I also still have a letter in my glove compartment -- one they sent out in the early weeks, in case I was ever stopped during lockdown while on my way to the office, which, because we deal with medical devices, was considered essential. We didn't know how strict "lockdown" was going to be. Of course, I never had to use that letter, but how strange to have even had it.

It seems appropriate that as I sit here typing all this, I hear a siren in the background -- an ambulance or police car on its way to do its normal work, but that "emergency" sound giving a perfect feel to all these memories.

I want to say I'm grateful for the year at home. I really am. I think I've tried to remain grateful through all of it. But I can recall at least 2 times when I felt sad enough that I cried about it in the middle of the day. What will this world come to, and what does it mean for the kids' futures... those kinds of worries. Questions that are still unanswered. However, I don't feel overly sad today. Just resigned. Weary of it. Ready to get back to what we know as normal -- with a huge caveat of NEVER going back to the level of busy that we collectively maintained, and never back to a full-time-required-in-the-office job. Ready to sign up for our vaccine slots, once they're available to us. Ready to visit my family normally, without worry. (Worried about the Spring Breakers, in the near-term. Don't screw it up for all of us, 20-somethings.) 

I do want to mark the anniversary in some way. 

I lit a candle today. And I hope the one-year mark is the beginning of the end of this long, long chapter.

Brain Dump: Plants, College-Planning(?) Kid, Covid-Guilt and Impatience

A lot on my mind today; having a hard time focusing or caring about work. (heh, I mean, that's every day, but seems worse today). So, here it is, in all its glory.

1. Want to buy a plant?

Both of our kids' usual activities, though they aren't really "on" this semester, are still doing their spring fundraisers. Both of them are plant sales. The drama club sells hanging baskets only, and the band sells both hanging baskets and flats of annuals. It works out well for me, I guess, because I don't have to go to the nursery or Home Depot and be overwhelmed with choices, which is what happens every time.

Had some success last spring, and I'm looking forward to many of the same successes. BUT: Delivery dates aren't until April 15 and May 1 -- and that's most of spring, including Easter! Bad planning on their part, I say. So do I buy Home Depot plants to tide me over? And then, what, not support the causes?? It's a conundrum. 

2. College planning is going to kill me

My darling Alex is a 2nd-semester junior, and has done the barest, barest minimum of thinking about what he wants to do after high school, and it is driving me crazy. This week he got his PSAT scores (I made him take it one last time in his junior year because I think he could qualify for National Merit Scholarships). He did QUITE well, better than I did on the SAT by more than 100 points, and so he really could take his pick of schools. The one he seems most "interested" in right now -- and by that I don't mean much, because he NEVER talks about this stuff unless I bring it up -- is Georgia State University in Atlanta. Which is a good enough school, and he can go for free because of in-state scholarships. But... I just feel like he could broaden his horizons a little bit. Yesterday I (he) got a recruitment email from Dartmouth. Maybe I shouldn't wish him away -- I mean, Atlanta is right here! He could come home on weekends! But... I'm praying pretty fervently right now for guidance on how to guide him. 

3. Social media is abuzz with vaccination announcements and it's making me feel both guilty and impatient.

Though I WAS quarantined like everyone else in the beginning, and we have definitely had a different year without school activities or church or seeing friends/going out... I haven't locked myself up in a way that "getting out" feels so huge. I see people say, "I got my hair cut for the first time in a year" and, well.... I have been able to continue having haircuts, masked, all along. We went to some football games last fall. I actually have had a few meals in restaurants since they reopened. Not often, but a few. We saw my parents a lot over the summer. (Not since then, regrettably.) I don't know, I just feel bad that other people have had it so much worse than I have. 

That said, I'm READY for my shot and impatient that I can't get it yet. Georgia has just opened up for teachers, medically disabled adults, and parents of medically fragile children. None of those descriptors applies to me. It feels like the longest waiting room ever and that this thing will NEVER, ever be over. 

Hello, March

Can't quite believe it's March already. I'm gearing up to be negatively affected by memory on March 13. I can't believe it's been a year. I just mean, I think I'm going to be sad about it. Alex wondered this morning if, in the future, there will be some kind of national holiday. Day of Remembrance or something. :(  Sad.

It's a Monday, and the first day of the month. That seems clean and tidy. Last night after dinner, the dishwasher was full, and I said, "I like when the dishwasher needs to be run on a Sunday night. It feels neat and tidy." Definitive, anyway, to wake up Monday morning with clean dishes; it's a new start. 

I have nothing particular to share today. We had a good weekend with nothing much on the calendar (as usual). I got my hair done Saturday morning. It took forever. I hate this about my stylist (or maybe it's my hair), but what can you do? When you've been going to someone this long, you can't just leave her and try someone else. You're friends now, you're Stuck. So, the couple of times a year that I get highlights, along with my regular color and haircut, I get to sit in the salon for nearly 3 hours. And she's nice enough -- she's chatty without talking my ear off the entire time -- but it really does feel like a waste of a day.  Later, Kate and I ran around town doing a few errands, but mostly looking for some stuffed animals she's currently obsessing about. She's 13, but I guess I'm willing to let her obsess about stuffed animals -- let her stay little, just a bit longer. ;) 

I also did the grocery shopping. This week, I went in person. It was nice for a change; I've been doing online groceries for a few weeks and I miss the fun of seeing something new, or on sale, and grabbing it. I've not been doing the "grocery store reports" that others are doing, but I enjoy reading them. Our store had breakfast Hot Pockets this week (good! I bought a large box) but no Sausage & Pancake on a Stick (Jimmy Dean). 

Here's a fun development: Shawn's drinking coffee now. When we met, he'd recently been diagnosed with Crohn's, and coffee did not agree with him at all. But he's had some liver issues lately (probably caused by one of his Crohn's medications, ironically), and he read that coffee can be good for liver health. And the coffee does not make his stomach hurt. So that's fun. He's trying all the flavors and now I have to share my Keruig and my half and half! lol I'm just kidding, I'm happy to share. I can't wait for a coffee-house date. 

Last week I had to go to my office THREE TIMES. That is three times too many! There was an issue with my laptop, and I needed to send out a package. But there is some official news: we are moving our office later this year! This is overdue -- the space we're in does not fit our needs anymore, and it's beaten up and pretty cruddy looking. Not that we're hosting clients or trainings or anything lately, but still. I'm a little worried I will lose the privilege of having an office -- I bet I'll go back to a cube or, at best, will share an office with someone else. But, if I'm working from home more, that's less of a problem. I do hope we get new furniture as well. Just a full refresh would be really nice. The only downside of moving the office is... moving the office. I'm sure there are some days of cleaning out and organizing and packing boxes ahead of me, and no one likes any of those things! Budgets are slashed so I bet we'll have to do lots of the work ourselves. I'll have to use the "what can we look forward to?" technique to get through that process. 

On the home front, here's what we're eating this week: 

Sunday - Turkey breast, stuffing, wild rice and green beans (and cranberry sauce). Why not?! It was delicious.

Monday - Hot dogs and chili, and fries and veggies/dip.

Tuesday - Pork Chops. Not sure yet how I'll cook them. I'm thinking about a Balsamic marinade. Also not sure what to serve them with. The item I wanted (Stouffer's Harvest Apples) was sold out at the store. 

Wednesday - Baking Sheet Nachos. I can't wait for this one. Kate claims she's never had nachos, and I intend to remedy that!

Thursday - Pasta with chicken and broccoli. Some kind of garlic/parmesan thing I will probably look up on the fly. 

Friday - Shrimp Etouffee (and fish sticks, for those who don't like shrimp). I will just need to pick up a loaf of French bread on Friday afternoon. OR maybe I'll get brave and try to make this miracle no-knead bread I keep reading about. ;) 

Backyard pics

When this all got finished this weekend, I couldn't stop telling Shawn how happy I was with it. Something so long wished for, finally done! We have an outdoor living space! Want the before & after?

Before, a sad-trumpet looking firepit that I have had for several years (5? 6?) -- a sweet gift, to be sure, one Christmas, but it has always been unfinished... and of course the trampoline:

Note that we are still in the depth of winter (not THE depth of course, we were one of the 3 lucky states spared from last week's snow and destruction)... but still, our grass is yellow and plants are dead, and grill is covered. In spring our porch umbrella livens things up, as well as annuals! This time of year sure makes it look dreary!

And here is the beautiful After! 

More space for annuals in the planters! It will be so cute!

I can just picture me out there with a delicious cider in hand, warming my feet by the fire. <3

A birthday party and a backyard project

Our Valentine's Day is always usurped by Kate's birthday on the 15th. Although I must give Shawn the credit he truly deserves for being a great Valentine. I cringe, reading about my bloggy friends whose husbands won't DO SOMETHING for them on Valentine's Day. It is literally so easy!! Why can't they just....? I don't get it, I hate it for them, and I am so lucky. (I do always feel some solidarity with the idea of buying myself chocolates, because YUM. However, with birthday cake in the house I rarely need/want to add more sweets.)

For Kate's 13th birthday this year, I had the idea of a backyard fire-pit birthday. It would keep things mostly Covid-compliant (with friends she sees at school already, and being outside), we wouldn't have to bother the girls (teens!), they could just do their thing, and I thought Kate liked the idea of a campfire, sweater-weather theme. 

I got that part wrong, apparently -- about 3 days before the party she told me she'd never "OK'd" that idea -- but it didn't matter because the weather was rainy and gross for the 3 days surrounding the party, anyway. So no fire-pit. 

In the end, 5 friends DID come over, and they did spend quite a bit of time outdoors in our driveway, and on the trampoline. The rain had stopped by the day-of, but the ground was still soggy/muddy. As for activities, instead of roasting marshmallows, they played a few indoor games, which Kate herself devised and created. She wrapped little gifties and then rolled them into a huge Saran-wrap ball, which they then took turns unravelling to the throwing of dice -- you know this game, right? 

She also put candy into a bunch of balloons and blew them up; these served 2 purposes. One, she threw them all over the floor of our living room for surprisingly festive yet easy decor. And two, the girls at some point loudly stomped them all to pop them and reveal the candy. Easy peasy! 

I was not needed to help with either of these activities. In fact, the rest of us were sort-of banished from the main area of the house. Hmph. Not sure how I felt about that, except this one feeling: A BASEMENT or media room would SURE BE helpful in times like these. We have neither. This was why I wanted the backyard situation. Oh well! I provided lots of snacks, and we were allowed to attend the present-unwrapping and birthday cake portions of the evening, and the whole thing was a pretty big success, I believe. She even thanked me. ;) 

In the backyard, we were planning to complete a long-wished-for project to make the party landscape just *chef's kiss* perfect. We have all the materials, now we just need a non-rainy weekend, to finish it up. It's going to look somewhat like this:

(Not our house; but we bought similar buckets, 4x4s and lights)

I can't wait. I'm grateful Shawn took this on and really think that it's going to make a useful, pretty "living space" outside. We're lucky that Atlanta weather is usually really good for outdoor living -- I'm hoping for lots of use of this area in spring and maybe even summer (haha, it will be way too hot in summer). I also bought 4 adirondack chairs (plastic ones, not the expensive kind), and am planning to have pretty, colorful cushions to liven them up a bit. I'll try to remember to take pictures. 

On to some dinner menus! My 2021 planner has a little area for each day, called "Tonight:" and it's a perfect spot to record what we've had. Some delicious ideas for you from our last couple of weeks:

Southwest Sausage & Rice Skillet (hellofresh) - My crew doesn't care for chicken sausage, so I used regular pork. 

Chicken Soft Tacos in the crock-pot - Couldn't be easier. A little too juicy, if I'm honest, but we used all of this in burritos and quesadillas in the week following, and everyone enjoyed it. 

This was a few weeks ago: BBQ Salmon Bowls w/Mango-Avocado Salsa -- and wow, was it delicious! Kate has recently discovered avocado -- the cool kids on TikTok made her want to try avocado toast, lol -- so it was a big hit.

Kate's Birthday Choice: Spaghetti Carbonara with a Caesar salad kit and garlic breadsticks: YUM. A little cholesterol-heavy, especially when finished with a piece of birthday cake (just a little)! The day after, I ate oatmeal, raw vegetables, and drank a ton of water to atone.

Tonight: Southern Vegetable Plate: Mashed potatoes, corn, mac and cheese, and these green beans. Yikes, I'd better start them right now. This meal brought to you by no-meat Ash Wednesday. Happy Lent! I'm giving up fast food. 

Grateful to have a job. So grateful.

But I'm going to complain for a few paragraphs. I'm sorry.

I just read through my posts from Days 1, 2 and 3 of the initial pandemic lockdown from last March. Wow, that's a mind-trip. First of all, that it's nearly a year ago. Secondly, my question from Day 1: "After the 14 days, will we be expected to go back to normal?" Heavy. Sigh. 

I'm having some trouble feeling productive, again. I don't even have the excuse of the kids being home to distract me, and yet I can't seem to focus. One work-thing the pandemic has caused is longer response times from co-workers. I can email a colleague to ask a question or make a request, and if they're working kinda flex-y time, like all of us are, or they're officially working fewer hours (as some in my company, in other countries, are), it takes at least twice as long to hear back from them than it used to. So projects take longer. Plus, I think everything happening over email causes log-jams in everyone's Inboxes, and things just get overlooked more easily than before. I've been waiting now for 3 business days for a proof to come back on our catalog, which is a massive book, and should have been published in January. I NEED the answers that only this one person can provide. And here I sit, without those answers. (Yes, I have sent the follow-up "Just circling back to this" email.)

Of course, I am also working flex-y time. Yesterday I had to go to Target for some supplies for this weekend's birthday -- baby Kate turns 13! -- and then there was, of course, carpool. Today, it's a kid's dentist appointment. Fits and starts. Never a long stretch of deep work, it seems.

So it's frustrating, because then my task becomes overdue and the "Completed" box never gets checked off. I NEED checked-off boxes! They keep me sane. 

January Goodness

I guess I haven't had it in me to post anything lately. Not that I feel significantly bad/sad/down -- I'm fine. Pretty good, in fact. Just busy. A lot of blessings to count: 

• Mom and Dad had negative COVID tests last week, although most of the rest of my Pensacola family, including my dear Aunt/Godmother and Uncle, were positive. 
• Subsequently, both my parents, I think, are now vaccinated x 1! A measure of relief. 
• Alex also had a negative COVID test this past Monday. Our family's first test! (I say that because I know people who have had to be tested multiple times. One family with 5 nearly grown kids, the mom told me she's waited in the testing line like, 8 times (maybe they should stop going out?).) Anyway, he'd had sniffles and sore throat for nearly a week, including loss of taste/smell for a couple of those days. Yikes. But I'd called his doctor and they advised just letting him wait it out if we didn't KNOW of a positive exposure, and we didn't... Until Monday morning. So off we went to the last available appointment that night, at the most random Urgent Care in town (not a "name brand," had a flashing neon sign in the window, "Covid Tests, $15"). And he's negative. WHEW.
• Shawn turned 52 and we had a very pandemic celebration of ordering his favorite burger for dinner (Ted's Montana Grill, the Green & Hot with guac and jalepenos and chipotle or sriracha aioli), and made a devil's food poke cake that was delicious. (Again, box cakes for the WIN - I don't think I'll ever order a cake from Publix again. We are converted!)
• I've had time and inclination to do 3 things daily, and they all help my mood: Read a little bit (I started Ken Follett's The Evening & The Morning); listen to a song or album that I choose, in iTunes (sometimes I just ...forget (?) about music so it's fun to be intentional about it); and do a Calm app meditation. Really liking the Daily Trip by Jeff Warren.
• I had two days of 5:00 am Zoom meetings this week. That fact isn't the blessing, really -- although it is fun, in a way, to meet with people in Germany, France, the UK, China, Australia, Poland, Russia, etc.(this is why it starts at 5 am Eastern). But I will say that starting so early means my workday is FINISHED much earlier, too! So that's kinda nice. Yesterday I did a long yoga video and took a nap afterwards!
• We did NOT get hit by the tornado that passed through here, about 3 miles from our house! We did get woken up by the county sirens at 2:00 a.m., went downstairs to our coat closet (the most interior room we have), and waited for the danger to pass. And no one really went back to sleep after that, least of all me who had to get up at 4:30 anyway. But we were SAFE. 
• Yesterday the high was 68! It was so lovely, after what feels like weeks of cloudy gloom. I mean, it's weird in January, and climate change is real and all that, but still. I'll take a day of sunshine once in a while, sure. It's supposed to be back in the 20s tomorrow morning, and is rainy today.
• I had a fun discussion with my cousins about spaghetti sauce. A family recipe calls for cinnamon, cloves and, as I learned from them, carrots in the sauce. I didn't use the carrots, but I made this homemade version this week, and it is SO good. So much better than the jarred sauce I usually buy, in my opinion. I'm not saying I'll make spaghetti this way every time from now on, because it is certainly more work than just dumping the jar over meat. And the jar is pretty delicious - we buy Newman's Own and it's quality sauce. I probably WILL, however, always add a lb. of ground pork to the beef, and it's worth making the cinnamon-cloves version some of the time, because I love it so much. My cousin described it as a "warmer," spiced taste, and that's exactly it.

What else are we eating this week? Well:

Sunday - Pork Loin Roast. Why do pork loins always take infinitely longer than I plan, to cook up to temp?? Argh. We didn't eat until nearly 8:00 Sunday because of it, and I was annoyed. We had mashed potatoes, corn and green salad with it, like a real "Sunday dinner," I thought.

Monday - the Spaghetti.

Tuesday - Black Bean Burgers (Morningstar Farms, in the frozen section) or Tyson Chicken Patty burgers, with roasted broccoli/onions. An easy meal, after a work-intensive one.

Wednesday - Tacos

Thursday - Southern Living Ham and Bean soup, a new recipe my mom tried and enjoyed, with our Christmas ham bone. It's been waiting in the freezer since December. 

Friday - leftovers. We have so much spaghetti. ;)

Saturday - I might make chicken fried rice. Haven't had it in a while and already have all the ingredients.

Since I've been in meetings all week, I have tons of actual work to do. Also going in to my office today at noon, but basically only to print something. These times are still so strange. Bye for now! 

Happy New Year - Let's Review

I read S's year-end review and, as usual, thought it would be so lovely to write one of my own. I do like that particular set of questions and have answered them many times in the past, though I can only seem to find 2015 & 2016. Last year I just did my own thing for 2019's review (also in 2018). And actually, I like to write my thoughts down on paper, if I've kept a paper planner, which I have the last couple of years after a long hiatus. My own format works for me, so here is what I wrote in the last few pages of my planner this year (I did this on Dec. 30 or 31):

The 2020 good stuff:

• Got what I've long wanted: nearly full-time WFH, with time for carpool pickups, not aftercare. 100% flexibility. Would have done extracurricular volunteering, if there'd been any to do.
• Grateful for the time - EXTRA - at home with Alex and Kate, that I never would have had otherwise. For walks in midday, for lunch breaks together and dumb/fun TV shows, for helping each other.
• Grateful for our health, through all of this year's pandemic; no one in my immediate family has been sick (let me add that Kate got over her sniffles after about 3 days, as did Shawn, who got them immediately after Kate. We didn't have either person tested and I don't know if that was right or wrong.)
• Grateful to still have our jobs, after collecting unemployment for the first time in my life this year during 4 weeks of furlough.

Goals accomplished (because I did actually have a few, back in January '20):

• Painted hall/entry, kitchen, & den, all lovely new shades of grey
• Bought a new (Sleep Number) bed like we wanted to do, and we LOVE it
• Spring gardening successes
• Visits to P'cola, Savannah (5, 2 -- more than usual)
• Bought a car for Alex (thanks, Mom and Dad!)
• Felt appreciated at work - made myself the best helper I can be
• Didn't stress about goals
• Made Christmas as fun/happy as we could
• Lost 15 pounds. Worked out an average of 134 minutes/week in an attempt to lower my cholesterol (which didn't work, thanks, Genetics, but at least I tried - I'm now on medication for it)
• Saved on groceries by setting a budget and shopping at Aldi/online
• Set a clothes budget (not sure if we saved anything, but at least there was the intent to save, lol. It's hard with a pre-teen girl, I'll say that for sure, but I'm working on my acceptance of it -- kids need to have clothes they like, after all)
• Read 30 books, although this wasn't a goal, just a nice thing I had time to do

Things that could be improved:

• Church attendance. Mixed feelings here. We've been under full dispensation since March, so really it's OKAY! No one would fault us for it and there's no need to confess anything! Ha! But am I neglecting my kids' faith formation by mostly ignoring virtual Masses online? I just can't stand watching the ones our parish livestreams. Should probably try other parishes but... meh. 
  Not singing in the choir anymore is still strange to me, but I think the right choice. I needed a reason to quit, because it was absolutely no longer bringing me joy, and the pandemic was a good reason.
• Taking care of my parents. Perhaps I'm not alone because of Covid, but I'm feeling a lot of guilt about this right now. I hate that we don't live in the same town as them, I can't drive them to doctor's appointments or heaven forbid, ER visits, which they had this year; and that they aren't in our Covid bubble. Same with Shawn's mom; she's living by herself, and her oldest son isn't there to help her out. I hate it. Christmas was nice, quiet, but caused a lot of guilt, if I'm honest. Logically I understand that our life is here at the moment, and I know all of our parents are okay with that. Thankfully, they're mostly healthy and doing GREAT without our help! Not to mention it was safer this year to stay apart at Christmas! But it's easy to feel like we're somehow neglecting our duty as children. I'm trying to remember that everything has a reason, and that God is not the God of guilt, and doesn't want me to feel bad. But it's what I'm wrestling with, especially as the pandemic goes on. 

So, how to sum all of this up? 2020 happened. We did puzzles, we made masks, we over-bought (hoarded) toilet paper, we did online school, we mostly stopped going to restaurants except to pick up food. I'm actually happier, thinner, and richer, and I never answer those questions that way.

I can't WAIT until we can all get vaccinated, and Alex can return to a normal marching band (senior!!) season, and Kate to a normal Drama club season, with all their godforsaken fundraising needs. I will raise the heck out of some funds if they can just have their fun back. I'll take what I learned and really appreciate things more. Incidentally, we watched Pixar's "Soul" on NY's Eve and it was the PERFECT way to wrap up a year when finding joy in the little things was the only way to function. 

I'm greatly looking forward to 2021, with a small spark of hope. Hope you are, too.

We Christmased!

For the 2nd year in a row, we Christmased at our own home, just us 4. This year, however, I really wished we could be together with family. Ah, 2020. Even though we weren't sick, we kept seeing the news and authorities advising people to please not travel, please... like, really, we beg you... (they were so desperate to convince us all, weren't they?).... and so we just decided we'd better not. Again, even though we would have driven, not flown or taken a bus or anything. 

And do you know what? On Dec. 26th, Kate developed a stuffy/runny nose and really didn't feel great. And how would I have felt if we'd been at my parents' house?? Not good, Bob. We will come back to this momentarily.

Christmas Week was a full week of PTO for both me and Shawn -- very rare, indeed. It began conspicuously, however, with Alex's oral surgery (part of his braces situation) Monday morning. He has recovered so well, with nary a whimper of discomfort -- only a little bit of having to eat carefully on his back teeth. He's still taking antibiotics but has come out the other side a total champ. Monday afternoon while Alex recovered, Kate and I met some of her friends for an outdoor park play-date -- more specifically for the girls, a photo-op, because this is what pre-teen girls do. Just take a million photos together. Selfies and Us-ies and filters and all that. The moms sat in our folding chairs in a socially-distanced circle and it was nice (though some of them are not my favorite moms, I'll admit. Mostly because some of them do not believe in the virus. I mean, that's an exaggeration. But, a lot of negative feelings about it, some talk about travel and big get-togethers, and some "We cannot let this stop us LIVING OUR LIVES" comments, and it was hard to keep quiet).

Monday night we watched "Elf," I believe. Classic. And I made myself an Amaretto Sour. I really wanted to have a different drink every night and this was an excellent start. Also, we went outside to view the planets passing! Did you? How neat was that? 

Tuesday we had to go to the kids' piano lesson - that was the day's excitement. I think otherwise we did very little, and what a treat! A day off, with no plans! Just what I wanted. Watched "Christmas Chronicles 2" from Netflix and I fell asleep, probably due to my White Russian drink of the day. ;) 

Wednesday Shawn and I VOTED! Woo hoo! Democracy -- an important runoff. I did some last-minute shopping at Target and I think Alex's movie choice that night was "Nightmare Before Xmas," always a good one. I forgot - or just maybe opted not - to make a fun drink. I'd intended to do hot chocolate w/Peppermint Schnapps. Oh well.

Thursday, finally, Christmas Eve. In the early afternoon I put the TV on "It's a Wonderful Life," much to Kate's chagrin, but everyone watched the whole thing in the end (a first for all of us -- I'd seen parts of it but never the whole movie start to finish). I bawled, then made appetizers. Pigs in Blankets, Sausage Balls, veggies and dip, and homemade salsa with chips. Our drink was a Merry Mojito, and delicious! Rum, Peppermint Schnapps, mint, lime and sugar. I made sure to WAIT until after we watched 6pm Christmas Eve Mass, though. ;) After that, we did take some family photos in front of the tree, and played the Brian Setzer Orchestra's Christmas songs - so fun and festive for our little "party!" AND it snowed! It had rained all day, but for about 10 minutes around 5pm, it was lovely and quiet, the way snow is, and we loved that!

One of Kate's favorite things about Christmas Eve is opening ONE present. But I think this year she didn't even ask about it! We stayed up late -- I finally had to shut things down and go to bed, and then luckily I woke myself & Shawn up around 1:30 to go play Santa. 

And Christmas Day, get this? They agreed to wait until 8:30 before coming into our room! Maybe even 9:00, I can't remember. THEY fed the cats breakfast (7:30 on the dot!) as a means to "peek," so I got to actually sleep in! 

One of the things I love about having older kids is their willingness to help lengthen the morning of present-opening. In our house, we now do a special wrapping paper for each kid, but there aren't any tags so they have to guess which paper is theirs. They guessed right on the first try, and in fact, Kate opened her Grand-Showstopper gift first (her very own iPhone11). I was worried it would all be a letdown after that, but it wasn't. They took turns, and I think really liked everything that was given to them. 

I was happy to receive an Apple Watch (and Shawn was happy to give it, because it is TECH) ;), AND AirPods, which I totally did not expect. And I got the birding binoculars I wanted, and a book I didn't realize anyone knew I wanted, and even a full stocking. I really have good gift-givers in my family (I just wish I was one of them). 

One different thing we did was to FaceTime Mom and Dad, and then Susan, my MIL, while opening their gifts. That stretched things out and made it feel more like normal, when they are here (or we are there). It kinda made me sad, but also happy. ?! You know?

This is getting long, but we made our traditional Christmas Crepes for brunch at noon, then had pizza rolls at 3:30 (ha, a family joke/tradition now), and then Honey Baked Ham, hash brown casserole, roasted vegetables and wine for dinner -- in the dining room with the Lenox and crystal. Somewhere in there, I made a red velvet cake with green whipped-cream frosting. So festive! And I drank another Merry Mojito, I feel sure. :) We Zoomed with Jill and Nils and Mom and Dad again. I didn't take a nap, but gosh, it was a perfect day.

NOW: Back to the matter at hand: Kate's nose. She was sniffly and tired on the 26th - she took a long nap - and got really nervous when she couldn't smell/taste. I tried to console her. That is, after all, a normal thing to happen when you're stuffed up. She never had a fever, so I'm trying not to be worried, and she is much better today (28th), so I'm hoping it was just a blip. I don't know if I'm supposed to report it to school, though? I don't feel like she needs to be tested at this point. I've Clorox wiped and Lysoled everything she's touched, as much as possible. Shawn had a bit of a sniffle today. I just don't know - I feel like I'm doing it wrong to not be panicked. I am grateful we stayed at home, that's for sure, and very wary. 

I went back to work today but have not been super productive. This blog post is the most productive thing I've done, aside from picking up a post-holiday grocery order! 

Licensed to Drive and other Atrocities

Alex is now licensed to drive and insured on our plan. Oh my gosh, that is crazy. I suppose he could drive himself (and Kate) to piano lessons tomorrow night. All by himself. In the dark. The state says he can, anyway. My brain short-circuits a little bit when I think about it, though. Just... he'll be out there! On his own! Making decisions that are, in fact, somewhat life or death. Nope, better stop trying to make this paragraph more descriptive with sentences like THAT. 

......

Christmas is close! I think we have nearly everything, except 1 or 2 items that are still in transit. Santa won't really know for sure until she does the wrapping. We always say that as kids get bigger, their presents get smaller and more expensive. That is proving true this year. I'm considering adding a package of underwear for each kid, just to make the Christmas morning pile a little more inviting, as sad as that seems. (But they need underwear! And it would be funny! Maybe!) It's so hard to resist the call of commercialism, telling me that more is better. 

MORE IS NOT NECESSARILY BETTER. LET ME TEACH MY KIDS THAT CHRISTMAS ISN'T ABOUT THINGS.

......

I have started taking cholesterol medicine in a very low dosage. I am happy/unhappy about it. Happy because I hope it will really help my stupid high cholesterol number to go down. Unhappy because it  makes me feel like a bad person, THANK YOU DIET CULTURE, that I "let" my cholesterol get so high. I mean, yes, for a couple of years I was following a diet plan that encouraged eggs and real butter/cream over "light" or "low-fat" options... that was probably not great for me. But still, some of it is genetic and I shouldn't have to feel guilt along with the bummed-out feeling of adding an old-person's medicine to my daily pile of pills. Ugh. Anyway, I am on it now, I have been working out pretty damn consistently for a year and a half already, and I am changing some food habits. There is Raisin Bran in my pantry, people. And Benecol in the fridge. Never heard of Benecol? Neither had I! We ate vegetarian black-bean chili last night, and I enjoyed some whole wheat spaghetti on Monday. This is going to happen, my cholesterol will go down and I am going to live a long, healthy life with only the occasional indulgence, so help me. I am mad and on a MISSION. My body had better cooperate. 

Stockings Stress

Okay, it's not really stress, but I am thinking about the kids' stockings today, and wondering if I have enough stuff, and an evenly-matched set of stuff, and and and. 

So after everyone left for school this morning, I went to the Christmas presents hiding place (which has been MOVED after someone [Kate] let on that she knew where the previous hiding place was) and arranged all the stocking things in two piles. 

For Alex, we have:

1. A box of Vandoren V12 size 3.5 B-flat clarinet reeds, which he knows he will get because obviously I had to ask him what kind he likes and would've had NO idea.
2. A travel-size after-shave lotion; he is only shaving every so often (crazy, anyway), but it was a "beauty" product and I was trying to match the type of things in Kate's stocking
3. A silly $1.00 back scratcher from WalMart
4. A mini-Lindor chocolates bag
5. Candy Cane TicTacs
6. A bag of mint-choc penguins (?) that I bought from the private school fundraiser
7. I think, a new AirPods silicone carrying case (if Shawn has bought that)
8. A school-spirit mask (womp womp, but will definitely get used)

For Kate:

1. A new mascara, slightly nicer than typical drugstore brands
2. A light pink lip gloss
3. An inexpensive clear case for her big present this year (an iPhone)
4. A mini-Lindor chocolates bag
5. Candy Cane TicTacs
6. The mint-choc penguins
7. A laptop sticker and a set of sparkly ponytail holders from a favorite store of hers
8. HP Sprocket paper refill
9. Razor blades for her razor (yes, she is also now shaving!)
10. Christmas themed nail files
11. A pair of hypo-allergenic earrings

So see? I have some work to do to balance them out, and they just don't feel very exciting to me. I'll definitely add a clothes gift card for each kid, (one is bought but not yet delivered, the other isn't bought yet), and cash. My mom used to put scratch-off lottery tickets in stockings, which is fun when you're a teen. Probably every stocking should have a hand sanitizer in it this year.... I just don't know. 

Alex kinda needs a non-logoed, adult wallet... Kate ooohs and ahhhs over the Burts Bees gift sets every time we see them... usually I do their favorite pens/pencils (boring, but useful)... maybe a funny bookmark?... Kate's newly into Harry Potter, should I do a chocolate frog or Bertie Bots Every Flavor Beans?... Alex is having oral surgery on the 21st (poor kid), should I stick some Aleve in there for him (haha)?... I feel like all my ideas are very meh. And it's almost too late for ordering anything -- the rest of it will have to be stuff I can find if I go TO the stores. 

Well, anyway, Christmas!