We're all so desperate to claim rights to the "Worst Mommy of the Year" title. Stories like the following are my MOST embarrassing -- I shudder to admit they've even happened. But we all do it -- we put 'em on out there, in the hopes that someone will say, "You're NOT terrible or neglectful. We WON'T call Family & Child Services. It happens to everyone."
I've submitted previous runs at the award, once when AJ fell off the bed at THREE MONTHS OLD, while I was holding him (and fell asleep)!!!, and another time, when he took a spill down the stairs So here's my latest entry. I guess I'm due for one.
Yesterday I kept him home with me in an official "sick day" because he woke up with an eye that looked like Rocky Balboa circa 1985. Like he'd been punched by his teddy bear while he slept. He seemed to feel fine all day, by the way, and the doc said it's just a sty. But I knew daycare wouldn't take him without a note, looking like he looked.
So. This was my first day trying to work from home *mit AJ* in a while. I needed to check email real quick, so I snuck into the laundry room, just one room away, and pulled the door closed while he feasted on Baby Einstein's latest serving of weirdness and puppetry. A few eensy minutes later, I heard Napleon bark at something outside, and then heard AJ -- from far away in another room -- start crying, and saying "Mama? Mama?" I raced out of there -- how long was I hidden? -- and found him at the top of the stairs! Polie had just startled him; he was asking for "mama, mama," repeatedly, as if he'd been doing it for a while. He had gone LOOKING FOR ME. He'd obviously been in all 3 bedrooms upstairs, because I saw the Baby Van Gogh video case, which he holds when he watches the video, lying on the floor outside my bedroom. Which means he'd carried it up the stairs. Now, he's GOOD, but still a bit wobbly on the stairs, especially when he's carrying something. :( :( :( So many sad faces! My little boy thought I'd left him all alone, and he was scared to pieces.
And then he climbed all the way up the stairs unsupervised. (He's so advanced and courageous!) But! Mustn't do that. Stairs + alone = a no-no.
See, I used to put the GATE UP, when I did this gig regularly. But even if I'd done that, the fact that he was so scared makes me feel obligated to resign my Mommy card and be declared "unfit." That's the kind of guilt these experiences induce. Instead, I guess I will just THANK MY LUCKY STARS and my guardian angels, and his, that they were watching over him.
1 comment:
I think you've got a LONG ways to go on the Worst Mom award. Goodness. It must be very hard and wearing to be always attentive and alert. When we lost Sunshine (it was really my fault), I said we could never have kids because I couldn't handle it (the guilt, the worry, the pain). Changed my mind later, of course.
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