Just another night on the town

We didn't go to the hockey game Saturday because why? BECAUSE ATLANTA TRAFFIC SUCKS SO MUCH ASS. (Oh excuse me, was I speaking French just there?) I swear, you leave your house in the suburbs, oh, 2 HOURS before the game starts -- on a Saturday -- and there's still a rush hour. We didn't get even close to downtown 'til 5 minutes before the puck was to drop. AND there was no parking at the Arena. Who the hell scheduled the BMX motorcross, skateboarding whatever convention this weekend? And who the hell decided it'd be a good idea to construct all of Atlanta's major event venues WITHIN 2 BLOCKS of each other??? IDIOTS. ARGH. We went to dinner instead, which was lovely. The stinking Thrashers lost the game anyway, and the restaurant, we learned, is known for its GUACAMOLE, made tableside. So clearly it was all meant to be.

(Stating the obvious:) A glass of wine also helps in these kinds of situations.It's even more fun when it's from somewhere special that you've visited before. Awww.

When we got home (early, surprise!), every DVD that AJ owns and all the corresponding cases lay on the floor of the kitchen. Evidently the babysitter let AJ do whatevertheheck he wanted while we were gone. Which is exactly what babysitters are for, I commend her performance. I really like this girl -- she's on the school's Academic Team. And she drives her own car, bumping her right to the top of my list.

I don't have a witty end to this. It was our Saturday night.

Doing

Everybody seems to be DOING something. I have pregnant friends, friends who are cleaning out their houses, friends who are planning weddings, looking at new houses, friends who are starting blogs, friends who are moving... I just feel stuck. I'm sitting here and not DOING or PLANNING anything. Waiting for something, but I don't know what. I talked to my friend Cantus the other day and she asked, "What's been going on with y'all?" I couldn't think of one single. damn. thing. We work, we come home. We feed the kid, we watch Lost and the Amazing Race. On weekends, we sleep quite a bit. Geezus, that's depressing.

It has a little to do with DH's job. He's kind-of in limbo, waiting for something that 'might' happen, but isn't certain. If it did, it might set off a whole set of THINGS. But he's been waiting for this something for 2 years now. I'm tired of it. Of stewing in this same grey dishwater. The endless loop. It might... oh, not now... oh, maybe in a month... oh, they say it's coming... (where'd it go?)... we'll see. It might.

It makes me want to... go spend a lot of money, just because it's something. And heaven knows I don't need to do that. We ARE planning to have a big old yard sale in the spring... maybe I need to start planning it. Or... and this has been on my to-do list forever, I probably need to schedule the siding replacement for the 2nd half of the house. Ugh. Not to mention getting our entire HVAC system in the house replaced. It's OLD. I'm praying it can withstand another summer (we had a service guy out a year or two ago and he said it might not). But those things are not fun things, or interesting. (Why am I blogging about them?!)

Of course I desperately want to replace the cabinets in my kitchen, and have my master bath redone -- seriously, I should take pictures to show you JUST how ugly they are. My mother-in-law is getting new cabinets this week, actually. DOING.

Yesterday I gathered up all my tax stuff, so there's one thing. And, we did go to Chuck E. Cheese last weekend. I can't get excited about any of it, though. We have hockey tickets Saturday, AND a willing and available babysitter. Do I care? Not really. What's with me? I'm not depressed, I'm just... bored.

Thursday Thirteen #8 - Lent edition

I can't help it. I'm addicted to the Thursday Thirteen. And then I find out today this is the LAST Edition! Waaa.

Thirteen Great Things about Lent A small display of my faith tradition today. I realized the other night at Mass, I feel guilty and 'unworthy' a lot: Catholicism still works! Hee. I'm joking. Anyway, I guess I'm "giving up" Starbucks this year, just for tradition of giving up something. But there's more to Lent than that. Here are some of my favorite things. 13. Ya can't have Fat Tuesday without Ash Wednesday, and Fat Tuesday is pretty darn fun! We used to go to New Orleans when I was a kid. 12. Praying Lent by Creighton U. I think I've used it for 3 years now to help me with the *prayer* part of the season. 11. The Thursday between Ash Wednesday and that first Friday -- you get to eat whatever you want, no restrictions. It's somehow a "relief" that you get this one day in between. 10. Going through the OCIA program in Lent is very meaningful; I got to do it as a sponsor for a dear friend who was being confirmed one year 9. Friday Fish Fry! All over America. We should go to our parish one this year. 8. Also: peanut butter and jelly, anyone? YUM. 7. Stations of the Cross on Fridays of my childhood 6. Running into other people with ashes on their heads on Ash Wednesday. (At my college there was an interdenominational Ash Wednesday service; so lots of people were showing their Jesus-spirit on those days!) 5. Seeing boxes of Matzoh and Passover foods on display in the grocery store. A special little bond with our Jewish ancestors and friends. At least that's how I think of it. 4. Speaking of the Seder, in my (Catholic) elementary school we had a whole-school Passover Meal every year. Picture "dinner tables" in the school gym, lights dimmed, candles. It was mysterious and interesting, and we read the stories and ate PARSLEY (bitter herb). :) 3. The good feeling you get if you go to after you go to Confession. 2. We don't have to sing the gosh-dang Haugen MASS OF CREATION for six whole weeks! HALLELU….. I mean, oops. GLORY TO GOD for that! (No Celtic Alleluia, either!) 1. Learning that Lent isn't supposed to be an entire 6 weeks of misery, but a time to deepen your relationship with Christ and prepare for his most Blessed Passion and Resurrection Day (grown-up Lent! I'm still trying to get there)...

Sun and Sand

I bought this votive candle yesterday (I know. I BOUGHT something. Frivolous!) -- it was called "Sun and Sand." Through the cellophane it smelled, hmm... fresh and... inoffensive, so compared to "Peach-Cranberry Pie" (too spicy) and "Ultra Vanilla Frosting Sugar," (possibly too sweet) it was a go... $1.79 wouldn't change my register total too much, since I was buying 3 throw pillows to replace the ones that recently smelled like puke. All about positive smells, yesterday's errand.

Anyway I got this candle home and unwrapped it, and y'know what it actually smells like? Y'know what its creators PURPOSEFULLY made it smell like? SPF 45. No kidding, it smells like steamy, lotion-y kids, and the inside of my beach bag. They probably tossed a bit of chlorine in there just to be sure they got it right. It's no "fresh air, zen-your-mind" beach fragrance like I thought -- it's the REAL smell. The 21st-century don't-get-skin-cancer smell. The where-is-my-kid-I-only-see-4-heads-above-water, and "has it been more than 60 minutes heneedsmoreBullfrog" smell. I wonder what they gave the guy who came up with it, after they slapped his back with hearty congrats over at the Yankee Candle factory? Maybe a day off... with a bottle of Coppertone, wink wink.

It's making me think about our beach vacation, which I was already dreaming about. June will be here in, let's see... 4 short months. Now, I wouldn't want to mention dieting, because Linda said that kind of talk on a blog is just beyond lame. (I trust Linda on this. She is very much to be trusted.) So I'll spare you. But yesterday I ate a vitamin-rich salad and a Whole Grain Lean Pocket for lunch. All I'm sayin'.

* * * * * * * * *
And now, from the I-Am-My-Mother's-Daughter News desk: I've ditched Fat-free creamer in favor of (skim) milk, warmed in the microwave, for my morning coffee. It's so much better. Simpler, more natural. Real Cafe au Lait. Thanks, Mom. :)

Gratitude time

Y'know what I haven't done in a really long time? FIVE THINGS.

1. I'm grateful for the weekend, with social plans. Even though they happen to involve a large mouse (I think?) named Chuck and a lunatic-bin named for him and his coagulated dairy product.

2. I'm grateful for a lunch buddy today, who didn't want to talk about anything deep or meaningful, and who appreciates a good salad bar as much as I do.

3. For jeans and a purple sweater.

4. For Diet Coke with lemon AND lime wedges. (it's the simple things)

5. For success and hard work, spurring me even now to want to complete a work project even if it means working a bit tonight. The fact that my mind is focused on this, and anxious to do it, helps so much... Since the deadline is coming fast and furious. Thanks be for all of that.

Being a responsible grown-up

Starbucks was giving away a FREE! EXTRA! SHOT! OF ESPRESSO! this morning so forgive me if I'm feeling a tad SPASTIC.

HI HOW ARE YA GOOD MORNING BOY IS IT COLD OUTSIDE AND OHMYGOODNESSIHAVE ALOTOFTHINGS TO TELLYOU!!

I am hooked on a new TV show that isn't nearly as funny as the genius Mac ads, but is equally compelling. I ran upstairs during a commercial break last night so I could hurry and turn on the "bedtime" TV and not miss a moment (sad, I know): MTV's "Juvies." Anyone else see this one? I'm probably the only 32 year old who actually watches MTV anymore but this one has edge. I never went to Juvie. (Surprise.) I don't even know where it's located in my hometown, or know anyone who went there. We were all quite boring and suburban and had supportive families who raised us right. So it's very satisfying, in a weird voyeuristic way, to see this side of young life.

I've always been highly annoyed by badly-behaved teenagers; even as a teen I thought, GAWD. What is the point, y'idiots? I feel the same about these kids, but it gives me some insight into "their side of it." And maybe as a parent, I see things differently. At any rate, Husband and I were talking last night as we watched, and we decided high school is just crappy no matter who you are. Pretty, popular, studious, party-guy, slacker. It's the Age of Rotten, no doubt about it.

I think it's incredibly smart of MTV to broadcast the documentary, not only because it paints the network as one who wants kids to BE GOOD (instead of as the Beacon of Bad Behavior (Jackass) and the Instigator of Fulll-On Drunken Hot-Tub Stupidity (Real World) that it has traditionally been since the 1990s)... but also because truly, kids need to see this stuff. They need to see that riding in the car with someone [who has illegal drugs] could actually get them in trouble. Not that it's showing anything violent or harsh "inside." The detention officers are actually quite caring. The kids wear sweatshirts and sit in a newly remodeled lounge (doing nothing). I loved the one security officer last night who was listening to an "inmate:" The runaway said, "I don't ever want to come back here." The officer, a mom-aged, tough-looking woman, responded quickly, "Well, ya shouldn't-a been here in the first place," and kindof shook her head & rolled her eyes sadly. Like, DUH. And the JUDGE is no-nonsense. You can tell she's had teenaged kids. She bangs the gavel heavily. Her judgements are very fair, and so far (3 or 4 episodes in) she's let most of 'em go home to their parents, but it's clear that her role is to put the fear of God in them, and she does it well.

personal disclaimer: watching MTV is Serious Market Research, thank you.

Meanwhile in my grown-up life, I've listened to Morning Edition all this week and their series on Shiite Islam, Iran, Hezzbollah, and That Situation. Have learned A.Lot. I hope to retain it. You just have to TRY to understand the history behind all of that mess in order to be an informed citizen in this world.

Heavy thoughts for a Friday, eh?!

Thursday Thirteen #8

Dude, is it Thursday again? I don't know how you people stay on top of things so much better than me.

In honor of my BEST FRIEND in the entire world, MARYB -- otherwise known as "larry" -- coming out of the dark and into the Light! of the Blogosphere! I present to you a list of my favorite blogs that maybe aren't in my links yet. (I am too stoopid just don't have time to figure out Blogrolling.) Tooot-toot-Ta-DA!

1. Playgroup Dropout. I am certain Beth thinks I'm stalking her, but I think more than one person reads both her ClubMom
gig and her "regular" gig, So the Fish Said. NB: Small Change -- it's time to re-up your charitable commitment to kids, go check it out. :) Love your smokin' a--, Mrs. H! :)

2. Purple is a Fruit. Also of "All & Sundry" fame. Her Riley could top AJ in the cute factor. Seriously, I am mom enough to admit that. And she is in Seattle, what could be cooler?

3. Procrastamom. One of the funniest Canadians I know.

4. Moxie. Best parenting advice on the 'net. Smart, sassy, (watches TV like me), and eloquent.

5. 4andcounting. Just met her, but I like her!

6. A Hole in the Fence. This is a delurk! Not sure I've ever even commented to this person but, she lives in GA and she's a working Mom = instant friend, right? (Hi, Sophie.)

7. Light and Momentary. Fantastic writer. Crunchy goddess! Model of goodness. Love, love, love.

8. Sam Jackson's College XP. I read this for work. Sometimes. He's pretty savvy at 18 years old, but then, he attends Exeter so that's not too surprising.

9. Amy. Met her through the T13! Howdy, neighbor!

10. a.k.a. Brandi. Met her through MaryB! They're real-live freenz. I'm tagging along.

11. Tomato Nation. Actually I haven't read Sars in a Loooong time but she is a witty observateur. Ann Landers she ain't and I love that!

13. The Advice Smackdown. AwYeah. Amy for the souuuuuul. And the slightly wrinkled eyelids. (beauty "advice")

So. Now you all have something to do Friday night. Linky, linky!

Valen-times, past and present

I'm sort-of borrowing this idea from Swistle, whom I've just discovered if you can believe that (Swistle, if you find this link, hello! you're neat!). Today is St. Valentine's Day and it means lots of things to lots of people. I wanted to share two of my favorite Valen-times. Bear with me as I fire up the old, rusty memory:

It's senior year in high school (right, larry? or was it junior year? you have to help me with this story!) and neither me nor my best friend is attached to any one guy. Thank goodness, right? Heh. So she came up with a brilliant plan to have a Valentine's Day dinner with two of our favorite guy friends, Mike and Alex. Both of these kids were "eligible" enough -- and by eligible I mean "cute," one moreso than the other -- but we never had the idea that we'd want to date either of them. And they were best buddies, as well. So we invited them over for a completely platonic, completely unromantic dinner at larry's house, which she and I would cook. At the time, she was already on her way to becoming a master chef, and I wasn't much interested in cooking... but we were lab partners in Chem and Physics, so I could follow her directions or read the recipe to her with no problem. :) We made it FANCY, because it was Valentine's Day: Cornish Game Hens with an orange glaze, (some side dish that I don't remember), (probably a salad, and tea), and Chocolate-Kahlua Cheesecake. We sat the boys down at the dining room table, with candles and everything, and they probably thought we were beyond weird for wanting to play happy homemaker for them. I doubt they've ever had a nicer Valentine's meal, even now that they're both happily married. That was a fun one.

This year, Husband decided and announced: "Let's not do the usual flowers for Valentine's. Let's do one of those Couples' Massages at that spa-place you like, okay?" To which I responded, ooooo-kaaaaayyyy... because he's had exactly one massage in his entire life and I didn't think he was that enthralled. But! I'm not one to turn down a dark room and a Swedish guy with big hands! And besides that I think we're going to take a Friday afternoon off to do it, which: ROK ON. I am happy about this gift. I asked DH, "Can we still give each other something small?" because I'd already bought him some chocolate espresso beans. (Extra-generous, I know.) This morning he answered that question by surprising me with a sweet little white-gold-and-diamond right-hand ring, fit to my middle finger, which I'd been wishing for. He is the best Valentine.

Blips

Around 11:30 p.m. I woke to loud sobs coming from the baby monitor. I went in AJ's room to find him comfortable, asleep, head on pillow, eyes closed, covered up neatly, but truly CRYING. "Mama... Mama..." Real tears had dripped down and his cheeks were wet. I stilled him with coos and my warm hand and "I'm here, it's OK"s, and that was that. It makes me so sad when he has bad dreams.

. . . . . . . .

Last night was Taco Night. (Ole!) I got all experimental in the kitchen and created for AJ a mini taco shell by cutting a smaller circle out of one of my 6" flour tortillas, and frying it up in canola oil. Then hung it over a wooden spoon, you know. You watch Food TV, right? It tasted like one of those edible Taco Salad bowls and he liked it. I figured something Tiny might entice him and I do believe my plan WORKED. Score one for Mama. (Never mind that he only ate the cheese and the shell. Score one for Fat, as well. But it's the PRINCIPLE of him eating the same thing we ate. I STILL WIN.)

. . . . . . . .

Kid phrases live on in family lore. I know this because I still think "maza-gine," for magazine, and "brek-swift" for breakfast. (Sis and I were so cute, weren't we?) One of AJ's latest goes along with his recent viewing of Scooby-Doo's various nemesises (word? Nemsii?)... He says, "I not scary of dat dhost." I hate Scooby Doo and I always have, but I just love when AJ says "not scary of dat." Preh. Shuss. Worth that stupid cartoon.

'Course, maybe cartoon monsters are creeping into his dreams. whoops.

. . . . . . . .

Last night hubby called to say he'd be home late. Then he called again "from traffic" which was supposedly very bad. I have a sneaking suspicion he was trying to fool me again. (Aren't I lucky?) :) I think it's more fun now for me to try and guess what his strategy will be, than to even receive the gifts. Hee hee.

Baby gift ideas

Since my next-door-cube-neighbor can't stop thinking about BABY, and since Julie has an announcement to make, and since Stacie asked, here are my five top most-favoritist baby gifts.

1. The "refresher" basket at the hospital.
One of my friends delivered to me, when she came to the hospital, a little decorative basket with "comfort" goodies. Since I had a blue baby (boy), nearly everything in the basket was packaged in blue. There were packs of peppermint Extra and Denteyne Ice gum, those little snack-size Oreos, I think a bag of Ghiardelli chocolates, some bottled water... Maybe there was a blue something for the baby, too. I just remember this being such a thoughtful thing. I clearly would have no inclination or time to go out and buy gum for a few weeks, so she did it for me.

2. A good quality classic toy.
One of my dear Book Club buddies bought AJ the coolest gift set of wooden blocks. I say "high-end" but I mean Pottery Barn, which isn't THAT out of the price range. (Much cheaper than some of these! Sheesh!) Ours came in this sturdy cylindrical canister, they're painted in solid primary colors (safe paint, of course), and building blocks are simply a must. Pottery Barn Kids doesn't seem to have those exact ones anymore, but you can find something similar.

3. Books A Million.
Of course, we started reading to AJ before he was actually born, which at first meant Reader's Digest jokes and sometimes a Southern Living. Oh, and DH read from Electronic Gaming Monthly. Therefore! When we started getting real books, some old favorites and some brand new, we were elated. We continue to read to AJ any time he asks (within reasonable limits, of course), and every night before bed. A couple first favorites: Jamberry, Owl Babies, and any books like this with the bright images and "learning words." LOVE!

4. Fluffy, cuddly things.
I know it seems cliche but we got some of the cutest little stuffed friends for Baby AJ. Sandwich was my particular favorite, because he was just about the size I imagined Baby would be, before Baby arrived. I'd tiptoe around the nursery and pretend, using that yarn-covered lovey. I've bought these for several new mommies and had great success. They're just so unique-looking. But this guy, too, proved invaluable. (Ours was a blue bear.) Soft and cushy, and AJ slept on him for many weeks in the beginning, in the pack-n-play. The head was perfect for propping Baby on his side to sleep (he was NOT a back-sleeper, ever).

5. The ever-wonderful "Meal on Wheels" gift.
I know you can't tote this to a shower, but I'm telling you the single nicest thing you can do for a new mom is make a quick casserole (nothing spicy or weird, just some delicious comfort food), buy a bag salad, whip up a pan of blondies (not chocolate 'cause some mommies don't want chocolate if they're b'feeding), and pop by the house. She's got to entertain, you see, while she's trying to recover. And even if it's her own Mom visiting her... well, just EVERYONE will appreciate an already-cooked supper. I received, for posterity: chicken pot-pie & lemon/blueberry pudding, which were divine, as well as a tupperware-full of gumbo, YUM. :)

I also condone and encourage:
anything from her baby registry
gift cards from WalMart, Target, Babies R Us
a box of diapers in any size (seriously)
a "mommy's brag book" small photo album (or daddy's, or both) - purse sized

There aren't any real practical gifts listed here, and practical is great if you've had success with something. But these things really meant something to me and have been cherished.

Thursday Thirteen! #7

Things I daydream about:

1. You can probably guess the first thing.

2. Having a clean car. My darling hubby keeps saying he's going to wash my car "this weekend" (for the past 4 weekends)... but it keeps being SO FREAKING COLD OUT that he goes outside, shivers once, then turns right back around to say, "Damn! Not washing the car today." I'd go get it done somewhere, but I hate to step on his toes. (He's really good at detailing.)

3. What heaven is like. Is it, where you sit in a glass-bottomed room and watch your family and friends try to continue life without you? A la The Lovely Bones? Or is it more of a feeling, a flying, warm, everything-that-ever-was-good feeling, a la Embraced By the Light? What about Purgatory, is that for real? Are there Pearly Gates? I've skipped Mass a few (dozen) times: Do I have any hope of getting to heaven, anyway?

4. Great gifts to get my husband. Like currently I'm thinking for Xmas next year, since we won't be buying season tickets to Thrashers hockey, I'm going to seriously try to get him some All-Star game tickets. That would be COOL. Of course I probably won't remember. When the time comes to get him gifts, I panic and wait until the last minute and end up disappointed in myself.

5. What AJ's going to be like as a school-age kid, pre-teen, and teenager. I love to picture him as just sweet and innocent, an A-student who gets along with everyone, even the freaks and the geeks, (and is devoted to his mother, NATCH). But I am not stupid enough to think that it's going to be all roses and scholarships. So sometimes I giggle when I daydream about silly "But MO-OM!" arguments, acne, surly pre-teen boy with his mouth agape (because there is that stage where, you know, they just hang their mouths open), and all that fun stuff.

6. My Oscars speech. Or really, how fun it would be to get all dressed up and parade down the red carpet. Not that I'll ever be a celeb! But that's the whole point, it's a daydream.

7. Currently, I'm daydreaming about baby gifts. Which ones I appreciated most, and what to get my friend who's due in May! I LOVE buying baby gifts, don't you? :)

8. Destin, FL. Week-long beach vacation. Delicious.

9. Geography and Genealogy: In other words, what it would be like to live next door (or down the street from, or in the same town as) my parents. And/or my sister. And/or my friend "larry."

10. Baby #2. And names for such.

11. A new iBook and Mac OSX-point-four TIGER. Raawwwrr.

12. What might've been. This is maybe something people don't admit, but I do sometimes catch myself thinking about the road not taken. There was a fella in college, for instance, upon whom I had a large crush, and he me, but we never pursued that for some reason. (Mostly for the reason that I had A BOYFRIEND at the time, and I treated that relationship in all CAPS like it was THE most important love of my life. Which it turned out not to be.) I often wonder what would have happened if we'd taken a chance. Is that bad? I'm perfectly, one-hundred-and-ninety-nine-percent happy in my marriage, and my husband is absolutely the ONE for me. But I still wonder. I guess (hope) that's just human.

13. Being a pro blogger. It'd be mighty cool to get paid for typing the nothing that is in my head. I can hardly beleive that exists, actually. Dream job.

Stalling

A play in one act.

Scene: Present-day. Post-dinner, Dad's calmly washing dishes and Mom's tidying up in the family room. A young boy stares at the TV. Or alternately, throws small plastic letters onto the floor.

Mom: "AJ, let's turn off our James and the Giant Peach DVD and go up to take a BATH!" :) :) :) [symbol represents the level of Mom's effort to make something fun! or happy!]

AJ: "Yah, and foost let's put dat James an-a Diant Peat DFeeDee in-a its TASE."

"Honey, we don't need to put it in its case; let's just leave it in the DVD player [because God KNOWS we'll be hitting the Play button the MINUTE we are both in this room again tomorrow]..."

"Tase?" [stomps little feet]

"No, honey. Time for Bath."

[tries new tactic] "May I pease toon off da DFeeDee player, Mama?"

"[OH you ask so politely so as I cannot refuse!] OK, turn it off. Push that off button. Good job."

"I did a dood job wif dat, Da-da."

"Come on, AJ. Let's go up the stairs. Move it, monkey, move it." :)

"You tarry me????"

"No, buddy, you can walk like a big boy."

"You hafta hold my hand."

"Okay, I'm holding your hand, here we go."

(insert whine) "Mama, you TARRRRRRY me. [I'm so forLORN.]"

"Nope, walk like a big boy. Or Ah-ma gonna GET YOU!" :) :) :)

"Aaah! Mama! NO, don't GET ME. [stops walking, pouts] TARRY ME."

"I will carry you halfway, then you have to walk by yourself."

"Otay. I goin' all da way UP."

"Up, that's right. [All 28 pounds of you. My poor knees...] [winces]"

"Tan I listen to a HeeDee in my room?"

"We will turn on a CD while we get undressed for your BATH. [Remember, the bath? THE BAAAATH.]"

[runs off] "I put dis HeeDee in my BED? OH! Dere's Woody and Jesse!"

"No, honey, CDs don't go in your bed. PUT WOODY DOWN and come over here, let's get undressed."

"I wanna be a DOGGIE [pulls shirt over head, halfway]. Arf! Arf! [crawls away]

"Which CD do you want, AJ? Come on, pick one [already, and get over here]."

"Mmm, whit one I want? [quizzical. also adorable.] Hode me up an I will hee, Mama. Hode me UP."

[opens and shuts each case]

[begins to lose her mind] "HONEY. Just pick one or I am going to put in the Wiggles one."

"NOOOOO MAMA! I don' WANNNNN A Widdles one!!!"

[ohnolordjesus, please not this now.] Okay, how about Pooh Bear?"

"Pooh. An maybe... Mickey Mouse? TWOOOO HeeDees, Mama? ...*I* will put it in. [long emphasis on I]

[mama debates addressing the 2-CD request at all, decides against] "You do that. Okay. There we go. Push Play. Very good. NOW. Bath time!" :)

"I tan't hear dat. I need a toon it UP."

[fortheloveofpete] "Turn it up. Now that's it. Into the bathroom."

[...much strife over Mama's soliloquy, "To Pee or Not To Pee"...]

[AJ runs to bathtub] "*I* wanna do da bubbles. *I* do it."

[Mama sits wearily on tub's ledge] "Yes, honey, you do it."

[pours bubbles]

"Now I haffa rinse dat (the bottle cap)."

[mama sighs]

"Now I haffa dwyyyy dat. Where my Mr. Frog...?" [goes looking]

[mama crumbles to floor] "AJ the bath is getting full. Let's go."

"Maybe Woody wan to take a baf wif me, Mama? Tan I go get him an' put him in?"

[mama looks up from the floor] [Have we even moved from ten minutes ago? Are we progressing? No? Okay, good. I'll just lie here then...]

:) :) :).... :)


Curtain. (The story-reading in Act II was equally entertaining.)

Yay, the little ponies won!

So, did ya watch the Game? We went to our friends' house and it was a bona fide PARTY. I mean, look at these cutie patootie partying kids:

In JAMMIES! My favorite kind of kid, now that ya mention it.

Everyone was rooting for Peyton, to no one's surprise, since one of the aforementioned kids (the middle one) is NAMED Peyton. Not for Mr. Manning, but coincidentally this family is a bunch of Tennessee fans. They'd picked the name because it would work for either gender, and then realized, hey, this will also showcase our team! The ultimate bonus in baby-naming, yes? Okay, maybe not. Anyway, it was fun to be together, and besides that we ate pigs-in-a-blanket(s) -- help! grammatically clumsy phrase! -- with honey-mustard sauce and PUFFY CHEETOS. My heavens, did AJ love the Puffy Cheetos. I was reminded of a boy named Cartman, whom I used to watch way back in the late '90s. ("Screw you gahs, Ah'm goin' home!")

Oh, sorry. Tossing out "South Park" lines used to be funny. Right?

I thought the commercials were SUB-PAR. Not a one of 'em, in my opinion, deserves to be in the hall of fame of million-dollar SuperBowl ads. Except maybe the KFed one, in which he totally gets points from me for making fun of his own craptastic public image. ("You need a dollah? 'Cause I got a wholllle stack." HA!)

It turned out to be a late night so I am more tired today than I should be, even though I've had my requisite two cups of coffee. What's with that?

Krissy called it

I need to learn to keep my trap shut. Remember this?

AJ development log

Geez, do I sound like a downer!

I've been neglecting the important task of keeping logs on AJ's development here, lately. But my mom brought me a dusty 3-ring binder this weekend with handwritten details about mine and my sister's developments -- what would have been her mommy-blog, had there been such a thing in 1974. :) In it, I learned that my sister had a pretty bad ear infection in late 1976, and that I was crawling by 9 months. My pediatrician typed up a little report at every visit, which Mom saved, and he always typed, "If all goes well, return in another year." HA! I love that. "If all goes well."

So anyway, it made me want to keep notes. I guess when they hit 2-and-a-half, it isn't that they're doing NEW things so much anymore (although the ability to find "Caillou" On Demand by pushing several different buttons, all in the correct sequence, is certainly a NEW skill), they're just doing the same things FASTER and BETTER and more smoothly.

1. We now speak in long sentences, like this. "Can I get it mylelf? If lou hold me up I will get dat, Mama."

"Lou (you) may put the CD in Daddy's CD player and then I will push 'Start.'"

"Let go play in Polie's room, Mama. Come on, follow me in 'dere and we will get my ambimals out."

2. We can take off a shirt all by ourselves and can almost push pants down, too -- getting undressed! Fun times! Especially fun if you leave your shirt half-on, half-off on your head, with the sleeves hanging down like doggie ears. Woof, woof.

3. We're learning how to brush our teeth. Or, more to the point, how to spit. I even got some Dixie cups and the classic dispenser for his bathroom. So far, AJ takes a little drink of rinse water, shakes his head back and forth, then spits it out. But it's a start.

4. We use napkins at mealtimes. Sometimes multiple napkins, but hey, better than none! Until about 3 months ago, he was still calling it a "nanny." Now he can say the actual word if he chooses to pronounce all those sounds. (Sometimes I think he's just being lazy.) He's also using his fork and spoon much more easily, learning when to scoop and when to spear something. Also learning that WE DO NOT BANG OUR FORK, AJ.

5. We like Mac and Cheese! I lamented when he was a bit younger that he didn't like the big blue box. What kid doesn't like this stuff? Is he demented?? Answer: Hooray! We ARE related after all. Other favorite foods: cinnamon oatmeal, fish sticks, gummy snacks in any form or fashion, and PB&J.

6. We love to push buttons and run MACHINES. And by that I mean, CD players and DVD players. Cars or dump trucks? Meh. Could take 'em or leave 'em. But this kid definitely wants his MTV. He carries his 4 CDs from room to room; whichever one we're in, he wants to play the music in that stereo, right now. And then when it's done, put the CD back in its case. Oh, the cases! The cases are going to be the death A bit tiresome for me, but I'm glad he has an ear for tunes.

7. Two and a half means the aforementioned tantrums are going strong. This too shall pass this too shall pass this too shall pass...

Molars I guess.

Oh, people, my head is SO not in the game right now.

My head is still spinning on the floor of AJ's bedroom, where last night he had a mental breakdown that should possibly have been recorded for use in child psycho-analysis classrooms, it was that out of hand. Out of his mind. Out of body experience. He threw himself back and forth, scratched at his own face, kicking and punching me, and cried, cried, cried 'til MY heart actually broke into pieces and I cried, too. I know that he's TWO and can't control his emotions or verbalize what it means to just feel crappy for no apparent reason. We have used every technique we can think of. Timeout. Speak calmly. Distract, distract, distract. "No more movies." Hold him tight. Pop his butt when he blatantly disobeys. Nothing gets through. It's "Hold me," then, "NOOOOOOdon'tHOLDmeIdiin'tWANTthaaaat..." Inexplicable. After a quick screaming bath I was down on the floor with him while he thrashed around; I suddenly took his shoulders in my hands, and looked into his eyes.... they were not his happy, sweet soft doe-eyed brown ones that I know. They were from somewhere else. He was heaving with raspy "WAah, wah, wah" sobs, and I told him, "You're scaring mama. You're going to hurt yourself." And I think it was as bad as any parenting day can get. In the end his blankie, the one that always comforts, helped him to take a breath, and we shut off all the lights in the room and I just held him close and whispered, and he finally lost his battle with whatever demon seemed to be inside him. I have to describe it that way, because that is how it felt. That bad. I try to breathe deep about it and say, "He's two." But it feels much, much heavier than that this morning.

It was maybe a tougher weekend than we would have liked. And yet, I really, really wish I were with him right now in case he needs me.

Thursday 13 number 6

Thirteen Things about This Ca-Razy Week Or: "Good GraciousSakesAlive I Am Tired." 1. Monday AJ woke up with fever of 102.7, so despite having stayed up late to bake a yummy Chocolate Ribbon Bundt Cake in time for our January office birthday party, I stayed home. (Sent the cake with Husband.) 2. Monday night I asked Husband to keep the baby monitor on his side of the bed since I had to leave for the airport before dawn the next morning. But I heard a teensy sick-baby sound at 1:47am, and after checking on him, didn't go back to sleep until at least 3:15. This mother's super-sonic hearing-thing sometimes amazes me. And what's with the father's lack thereof? I even turned the volume UP on that stupid monitor! 3. The alarm I had set (for 5:00pm, it turns out) didn't chime on Tuesday morning. Something in me jerked, and my arm flopped over and knocked into the headboard, which is what woke me exactly at 5:00am. Weird. 4. I chose to walk to Terminal A instead of riding the train in Atlanta's airport. To get my exercise, you know. At the top of the stairs I learned Gate 32 was ALL the way at the end of the hall, so I got to walk another half mile or so. Bully for me, and my feet hurt goshdangit. 5. My laptop is entirely too heavy to lug around airports. When are they going to make a REAL feather-weight one? 6. We met with close to seventy people, in thirty-minute increments, over the course of our 2-day visit. And can I just share with you? People are funny. Not so much ha-ha. 7. College cafeteria food, even when it's decent, is just never all that fantastic. 8. Meanwhile, back at the ranch, the dryer finally died its impending death. Husband was planning to wash the sofa cushion cover, which had been puked upon by AJ when he was sick Monday. That cover remains Febreezed all to heck, but unwashed. Eew. 9. Our 8:00pm return flight was slightly delayed. Go figure. 10. My dear parents are driving up tonight, bearing furniture that is meaningful to me from my Grandmother's home. I am anxious to curl up in my Mommy's arms and let her pet me and make it all better. 11. Mom, Dad? The house is a wreck and the couch smells like puke. 12. I haven't worked out in a week, even though I took my shoes on my trip for use in the hotel Fitness Centeryeahright. My knees hurt because of not exercising. I am officially old. 13. I (am a VERY good whiner, aren't I? And I) believe I am going to drink some quality beer on Friday night. :) Links to other Thursday Thirteens! 1. (leave your link in comments, I’ll add you here!)

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From the road

I think I could fill an entire notebook with my thoughts about traveling for business, here, for the first time since AJ was born. But I'll only bore you with the three topmost, distilled in my brain while I was taking a hot shower after a day that started 5:07am (alarm didn't go off, but something startled me awake, thank goodness).

1. There are nice people everywhere. One of the women we're meeting with announced she's 33, so I know she's in my peer-level-group-thingy, and she completely reminds me of one of my closest friends, Melissa. It's so comforting to have people like that when you're on a trip you'd rather not be on. (which is ANY business trip, don't you think?) She has the cutest round little East Carolina southern accent, and I'm thinking, they're picturing me as some "agency" person from big-city Atlanta, but really? I grew up surrounded by the love of people with a similar accent (West Texas). Kind, good simple people, just like here in Nowhere, NC (their words, not mine). My boss? Nowhere, AL. We're the same, all of us.

2. The Chicken Marsala was not the right dinner choice. I'd give it a C-plus. The chocolate mousse pie? Definitely the right choice.

3. Why am I in this hotel bathroom on a business trip shaving my legs, really? In a word, motherhood. Perpetuating the species. See, back when women started liberating ourselves and all that, getting ourselves careers... they also decided they should shave their legs in an attempt to woo the lovers/husbands with soft, silky skin, right? Wooing. For the purpose of what? (whispers) s-e-x. For the purpose of what? Besides it being all kinds of fun of course? Well, Babies. The biological, instinctive reason. Motherhood. Liberation allowed us to do all this, including shaving and cutting our hair short, but for what purpose? The same purpose women've always had. Survival of the species. (Did anyone follow that? I'm not sure even I did.)

Clearly, I need to go to bed.

A Musical! In Prime-Time!

Scrubs is without a doubt, one of my favorite shows, and last night it blew me away with its brand-new episode:

A MUSICAL.

Yes, I was a musical-theater junkie in high school. But who knew that all of these actors could actually SING? Even Dr. Cox, which was a shocker. (Not that I know anything about their backgrounds, I'm not that kind of uber-fan.) The music and lyrics were evidently written by the same folks who did "Avenue Q," which I'd never heard of until today, but, hello, a Tony winner? I'm a believer already.

My favorite part was, right before the first commercial, they ended with JD (Zach Braff) closing a blue hospital curtain kind-of in slow-motion. Get it? Curtain? Act One? BRILLIANT. (When I said that to hubby, he called me a Nerd.)

Here, take a look at this trailer. The quality's not great but you'll see what I mean.



(To top that off, The Office and 30 Rock were high-larious last night, too. Man, I love good TV!)

I am feeling :~|

So, to explain. Monday, I was told that I would be in North Carolina next week, for work. I was told, not politely asked could I please plan on this trip as part of my schedule. It felt a little like being suddenly handed a heavy, oversized box as the other person bends down to tie his shoe. Kind-of poorly executed, awkward. But the boss gets to do what he wants I suppose. It's happening a lot lately, I'm getting scheduled for conference calls or meetings without warning. I don't appreciate it.

It isn't that this particular one-night trip is a huge deal. But it is a shock to my system when I haven't business-traveled in, ohsay approximately 30 months. Since the day AJ was born, perhaps. Actually the company has very nicely let me skate by without travel, and I'm grateful. Especially to you, sdw. But I suppose it IS part of the job description: "occasional travel," and it's time for me to return fully to that responsibility.

I'm coming to terms with it. Maybe not in the way you think I mean. At any rate, next Tuesday night I will be staying at a Holiday Inn Express and making my very own coffee on the bathroom vanity, and I'm thinking that, plus an expense-account dinner, might help me feel better about it all. Might.

Wish I'd thought of this!

Man, the Internet is so cool. While everyone else was busy making resolutions to GET SKINNY, Beth was busy making resolutions to Do Good. Now, the imperative phrase "Do Good" speaks to me on a special level (Melessa! wink!), but it's so simple and kind and perfect that everyone should say it to themselves at least few times a day. Do good. Just, hey: do good.

Beth wants, specifically, to do good for kids, and she was inclined to ask everyone else to make this little bitty change in their lives, too. Now it's grown and... oh, just go over there and read this. Then think about what little thing you could do. I don't feel like I have a ton of extra cash floating around, but I did send some cards to some sick kids, and man, was it fun to draw little stick-figure cheerleaders on them and write, "way to go! I'm rooting for you! woo hoo!" in little bitty block letters. Made me feel really good, and hopefully it will do the same for them.

p.s. Somegeek, please explain to me how to make the badge over there to the right be a link. I can't get around blogger's widget tags to add the href code. Rrrrrrr! A programmer I am not.

Sunny, with a chance of sunshine

This weekend was gorgeous in Georgia ("Joe-Juh," AJ says). Seventy degrees or more, and nothing but sun in my neighborhood. Besides that, it was a tantrum-free zone: AJ managed to stay in his happiest mood, three days running. A miracle! He sat with us during dinner. He ran around the house and the yard, singing at the top of his lungs sometimes, playing his heart out. He entertained himself with his letters (fridge magnets), or colors and a coloring book, or Mr. Potato Head. If he did something we asked him not to and we responded, he accepted the "punishments" (No Blue's Clues, no story before bed, no dessert, that kind of thing). He was a dream.

Saturday was a lazy one. We watched two hawks playing in our backyard trees (likely pilfering from other birds' nests). We played a bit of basketball on the driveway. We ate lunch on the back deck, and talk-talk-talked all the way through it. While AJ napped, I played with my wedding china (re-organizing after Christmas), a hobby I adore. AJ had Batman-shaped Chicken Noodle soup for dinner, and slurped it all down. Then Mommy got to go out! A girlfriend and I went to dinner and saw "The Queen." I only fell asleep twice, and thankfully I don't think anyone noticed. Hey, the movie started at 9:50pm. WAY past this little girl's bedtime. The parts I did see were fantastic -- a telescope into the life of the royals. Helen Mirren is a wonder. I have loved everything I've seen her in.

Sunday we took the dog on a lovely walk, and then took a trip to Lowe's. Bought some new shelving for AJ's room (and put it together, whee!), so we could retire the Jenny Lind changing table. My big boy needs room to PLAY in his own space, and now he has it. We're convinced that toys will be dumped OUT of the trendy storage baskets, instead of stored IN -- that's the fun of baskets, I guess, at age 2 -- but maybe it'll be easier to clean up after him. Next steps in this "Growing Up" project: 1) the Potty Training and 2) the crib-to-bed transition. Not that we HAVE to, mind you. I'll keep him in that crib as long as possible. :) And I know, I know, I shouldn't be in a hurry to potty train him necessarily. Three. That's my goal. Poops on the potty by three. I need a strategy, though. He's not responding to our M&Ms offerings anymore. There will probably have to be a pants-free week or weekend in his future.

...sorry, where was I?

Last night we whipped up a quick Shrimp Fra Diavolo with a salad and it was delicious. Refreshing. Filling. Then we made fun of watched Jack Bauer return to glory... for 2 hours. And it's only half finished! More Kiefer Sutherland on tap tonight, and I am *just fine* with that!

I couldn't have asked for a nicer weekend. There was nothing special about it. But it was perfection.

Crowning glory

My tresses had gotten fairly long, so this is
a rather startling change:


AJ's, yesterday, was a
rather startling hat-head:

Be great. Delurk.

The Great Bloggers, they'll do something in real life and then write a fantastic story about it -- one with a beginning, middle, and end, interesting characters, maybe a banana peel, and a made-up phrase like "I guarandingdangtee you," (I'm lookin' at you, Amy) and all of it WORKS. Readers laugh, then line up to read you again. And you get AdSense and start rolling in ca$h. (Isn't that how it goes?)

And there are other bloggers like me, who WANT to do that but once the "new post" page opens up, that cursor blinking... blink... blink... blink... I got nothin'. So I babble and spit and then push Publish. ROCK ON!

But coincidentally, it's (International) DeLurking Week, so I can leave everything in the commenters' hands and not fret. Poof! (Don't you think it needs and deserves "International?" I do. More Oomph.) Time for all you darlings who're askeert of the "Comments" button to pop your heads up and say hello!

Clutter, be gone

Today I'm going to be straightening my desk at the office -- the fourteen slips of scrap paper with various notes & numbers jotted on them are KINDA getting in the way. I shove them around to find some projects sorted into manilla folders, and others just idly hanging around, stuffed into my notebook or the junk pile (code word: "Inbox"). It's a good month for clean-up. In fact, yesterday I chopped all the noggin-clutter that was my hair OFF. Kind-of a Clean Sweep move for the beauty regime. Took me exactly 3 minutes to do my new hair this morning, instead of 10. (It's awesome. Pics to come. Rawr, lurvh the Short!)

Do you like to start afresh in January?

On Epiphany

"Christmas says Christ is here, born into the world. Epiphany says it's up to us to find him, and it may not be easy."

Here's the whole article about Epiphany. Sort-of revises my previous post. :)

Church-going

For the love of, appropriately, GOD!! I submit the following complaints:

-- If AJ attempts to lift and lower the kneelers with an associated BANGING of the pew in front of us... one more time, I will most assuredly scream. Probably during the Consecration. (Today he whined aloud, as we all knelt down, "Noooo! Get up, everybody!")
-- If I have to leave the sanctuary and take AJ into the narthex, where all the other desperate parents are with their infants, 1s and 2-year olds (which AJ actually thinks is a real treat rather than a punishment)... one more time... there will probably be a public spanking right in front of the Fellowship Coffee display.
-- If I have to sit in front of a precious family of three, whose 3-year-old is sitting there in his perfectly tucked-in button-down (because he's being QUIET and STILL), feeling their eyes BORE into me and hearing their brains cluck, "She should really get control of her kid" (because I used to say the same in MY brain, before having a child)... one more time... I will have to slink under the pew myself and crumble into a big heap of embarassment.
-- If I have to spend one more entire Mass alternately hissing at AJ and pleading silently with my eyes for Husband to STEP IN once in a while, for gosh sakes... well. It all just makes me wonder when they tell us Jesus experienced the whole of being human. SURELY he didn't make his Mother Mary feel such things during Temple, did He?

This is why my parents went to Mass separately all those years when Sis and I were toddlers. This is why smart people take the kid to the nursery (not me). This is why mommies and daddies feel harried even in the hour of prayer and worship -- that special, quiet family time on Sundays (ha ha): we're busy chasing down God, and wrestling with the kids. Bargaining please, GOD make him be quiet for just TEN MORE MINUTES so we can sing this one hymn and then get my doughnut and get out of here. (Because surely I deserve it, and you better believe I will eat it in front of him-who-doesn't!) Lord, Have Mercy! Amen.

Thursday Thirteen #5

Thirteen things I like about my job.

(I never ever talk about the things I DO like, except in qualified terms like, "Well, it isn't SO bad..." So here, I'd like to put a positive spin on it, in an effort to be less of a whiny butt.)

1. All our bills are paid thanks to our combined income. I can generally go to Target and not have to worry that $100 is going to break us. (A cool hundy, just about every time! You too?)

2. We have great insurance, a savings account and two retirement accounts, because we both work.

3. Practicalities aside, I work with excellent people. They're like family to me since I've worked here so long. I remember last year's Thanksgiving potluck (2005); we sat down around our conference table and I just smiled to myself, comforted in sharing a meal with such good souls.

4. They let me work 2 days a week from home. I could choose any number of other jobs that absolutely wouldn't allow for that.

5. Our work is always a collaborative effort. You can say to a coworker, any day of the week, "Could you help me with something?" And they will. I like that; I need the good ideas and talents of my colleagues; wouldn't be able to handle it otherwise.

6. We produce some beautiful printed publications; I've always been very proud of our quality and our reputation for good taste in graphic design.

7. It's impressive that we do what we do with only 23 people on staff.

8. I know that if I really have something on my mind, something painful or difficult in my personal life for instance, I can sit down with one of, let's see... 1...2, at least 5 different close personal friends to talk about it. No one will say, "Listen, I've really got to get this proposal done... could we talk later?" Everyone values actual LIFE more than our work. (I think everyone. wink.)

9. They threw me both a wedding shower and a baby shower at those special times in my life.

10. Our office is clean and new, not old and crusty and rat-infested. (Hey, this wasn't true until a year and a half ago. We previously occupied a very crumbly building alongside some bonafide Filthy Rodents. We made it look good, but... this is much better.)

11. My husband works right next door. Handy when I arrive with a flat tire and need someone to help fix it (this past Tuesday)!

12. I've been doing webinars lately -- demos of some of our products -- and I think I'm fairly good at it. Nice to feel like I've mastered something. :) And they're fun products to demo. I've always said if you believe in your products, it makes everything easier.

13. A coworker introduced me to blogging, acutally. So I have to thank her for that!

Links to other Thursday Thirteens
1. Tink
2. Caylynn
3. Raggedy
4. Di
5. Leah
6. Aimee
7. (leave your link in comments, I’ll add you here!)

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The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

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Peppp...eroni Pizza

It's hard, after a long vacation, to focus this feeble mind. (Heck, it's hard for me any time of year.) The following thoughts are about as random as The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (which my husband has been trying to watch for about 2 weeks now).

...December 23rd, "Christmas Eve Eve," the men went to the Thrashers game, and us girls (me, Mom-in-law, and The New Girlfriend of my Bro-in-law) showed AJ how to have a Christmas slumber party. We made cookies together -- AJ did the red and green sprinkles -- snacked on crackers and spinach dip, and sang along with ABC's annual gift of The Sound of Music. His eyes widened when Do-Re-Mi began, since that is one of the main night-night songs I've used since he was an infant (it can go on forever if need be, and Mr. Colicky often needed-be). I was quite pleased that he recognized it. He also liked "Yo-lay-ee, yodel-lay-ee, yodel-lay-hee-hoo" with the goats. :)

...several times while we had company I declared it was time for my shower, and luxuriated in having 5 very capable babysitters who'd have to ENGAGE. (Sometimes it seemed I was the only one willing to actually play with AJ -- down on the floor, entertaining him. It's my instinct I guess, it's just what I do.) He can play by himself, but shouldn't have to if so many folks are around. Anyway, if I up and left, SOMEONE was going to have to get up from the TV, or put down the Zune, or the phone, and Watch.The.Child. They did. AJ got to know which ones would toss him around and make him giggle, and which he could count on to make Play Doh pancakes with syrup. I took great satisfaction from this. And really long showers.

...Christmas morning, AJ threw us for a (fruit) loop. He came downstairs, was slightly intrigued by his Santa presents, which were unwrapped, for about 11 and a half minutes, then declared he wanted his breakfast and a movie. This kid is nothing if not anchored by a routine. Never mind all the gajillion interesting wrapped presents under the tree. We watched him shuffle into the kitchen with his daddy, and then kinda blinked at one another in disbelief. (Don't fret, he came back later and got his paper-ripping on.)

..."Ma? Mo-mm?" Just a new word he's picked up lately, especially when I venture beyond where he can see me. I can't decide if I love it or hate it.

...STARBUCKS GIFT CARDS in my stocking. Plural. Squeeeeeeee.

...Is it me or is Bravo draaaaaagging this Top Chef series right out? Sheesh! Bring back Blow Out, I say. Actually it's really AMAZING the dearth of television worth watching these days. Last night I attempted to sit down with Inside the Actor's Studio. The guest was Matt Damon. Seriously? A total snore.

...Let's not even talk about how much food was eaten by me over the holidays. (See also: Title of post.)

Two-thousand-seven

I have so much to say, and yet, no desire to really say anything at all about our family-filled, crazy, long holiday break. I can't believe I had nearly two full weeks off -- let's see: Thursday afternoon through Tuesday... yep, that's right. Definitely the best gift I received, among lots of other lovely things.

AJ, of course, has been in hog-heaven with his new "ambimals" and Mr. Potato Head and Jesse and Woody from Toy Story 2. Not to mention eating cookies and potato chips more often than not. Hubby reported, however, that today's daycare drop-off did NOT go very well. I'm kinda mad at them because he is supposed to move to new classroom at age 2 and a half -- which he will reach NEXT week, the 8th -- but they made him go this morning. So, aside from having his vacation end like all the rest of us -- that which is HEARTBREAKING enough -- he doesn't get to go back to the familiar cushion of the Early 2s and kind, wonderful Ms. Martice and Ms. 'Nana, whom he loves. Sigh. I almost hope he gives 'em hell today.

Except... that's not on my list of things to do this year -- be spiteful. When I woke up on January 1, and took my first shower of the year, I prayed to leave behind doubt and fear, despair, and my poor attitude. I always like to pretend to wash away the bad things about the previous year, and instead, be washed in hope for this one. Calm. Togetherness. Happiness. It's a little bit hokey but it works for me, and we have an awful lot of those wonderful things.

Operators are standing by...

I had to pull out all the stops and CALL SANTA CLAUS on the telephone this morning, to stop the whine-fest AJ was having. It's been 3 mornings in a row that he's writhed on the carpet bemoaning the horrible state of his LIFE and how we never let him do ANYTHING FUN, instead of letting us dress him for school, and Husband and I had Had It. So I looked that kid right in the eye and said, "If you kick me again, I am going to CALL SANTA." And he flat-out kicked me. Toddlers, I swear.

beep-beep-beep-beep beep beep beep.

"It's ringing...." (pause for effect)

"Hello, may I speak to Santa Claus please? Thank you." (pause. hmm, 'magine that, AJ's quit fussing)

"Hi, Santa, this is AJ's Mommy. Yes, nice to talk to you. We're all fine. How are you doing?"

(pause)

"Mmm-hmm. Well... I'm calling with some bad news I'm afraid... AJ is being pretty Naughty this morning. Yes, I know. Mm-hmm, he IS usually a very good boy... I know. I hate having to tell you this, but you may want to consider skipping our house this year."

(pause as Santa protests)

(Meanwhile, Hubby's behind me looking at AJ clucking his tongue, "Oh, man... Oh, man, AJ...." All I could do not to burst out laughing. But, STAY IN CHARACTER.)

"Do you think so? Well, maybe he can try to be Nice until Christmas." (looking pointedly at AJ, who's gone silent and wide-eyed) "I don't know. But okay, we'll see. Yes, that's good advice. Okay, Thank you, Santa."

"You have a Merry Christmas, too. Bye-bye."

And then I told AJ that Santa was very disappointed.

He was still looking a bit glum when I dropped him off at daycare. Am I the meanest mommy, or what??! I have exploited Santa a lot this month ("You'd better not pout"), but that was an Oscar-worthy performance, if I do say so myself. Put the fear a'God in him. (Don't worry, we'll call him again tonight -- there's an 800#, did you know? 1-800-972-6242 -- and I'll let AJ listen to the happy recording.)

Tactics. It's all about tactics.

Gloom into Gratitude

...But there will be no gloom for her who was in anguish.

I just read this as the opening passage of Isaiah 9. I don't think I've ever heard that verse before, but wow, I really like it. It's from the English Standard Version, and the use of the adjective "her" is different to my ears. (Guess we don't read it in any of the regular Scripture cycles at Mass.)

I can think of several "hers," some bloggers, some not, who are experiencing a bit of anguish right here in the Christmas season. And last night, I got myself into a bit of a gloomy mood too. Sometimes reading all those 2-page Christmas letters about "Susie-Q, who made partner in her marketing firm in oh-six," and "our dear Johnny, whose self-designed business really took off this year," and "his wife, Mary, who's got her hands full with the 3 kids she's teaching at home," makes me a little depressed. I got 3 of those letters yesterday.

So I'm praying with HOPE that the gloom will be replaced, for myself (my selfish envious self) and especially for my friends. These next parts of the Isaiah chapter supply the familiar words:

The people who walked in darkness
have seen a great light;
those who dwelt in a land of deep darkness,
on them has light shined... (vs. 2)
For to us a child is born,
to us a son is given;
and the government shall be upon his shoulder,
and his name shall be called
Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. (vs. 6)

Some of my favorite words in all the Bible. I love that it ENDS WITH -- punctuates -- emphasizes -- PEACE. He will bring us Peace above all the other things.

Man, that is some good news.

Be grateful today for that Hope, and for the many blessings of this life.

Confusion

My son seems a bit confused about this whole "someone comes into my house and leaves presents" deal. We were talking last night about what's going to happen IN ONE WEEK, and I said, "Who's going to visit you on Christmas?"

"Lanta Caus," he replied.


"...and Tigger?"

Thursday Thirteen #4

13 Questions from an End-of-Year Meme

I've been wanting to do the whole questionnaire, but it seems that a portion is all I'm going to manage. That's okay.

1. Was 2006 a good year for you? Wellll... yes, overall "in the grand scheme of things," a phrase I use entirely too often, it was a good year. We are all healthy and have much to be thankful for. Work has been hard for both of us, and I'm trying really hard not to define 2006 as "the year of the funeral." Few too many of those for my taste. Few too many wonderful people we miss a great deal. But I think that's something to acknowledge; as we get older, we attend more funerals, that's just the facts.

2. What was your favorite moment of the year? I'm not sure. I'm thinking my favorite moment is going to be Christmas morning, because for the first time, AJ's going to be curious and excited about Santa Claus and PRESENTS.

3. Where were you when 2006 began? I believe I was face-down on my couch. I believe my husband tried desperately to wake me up for a mignight kiss, and I believe I mrrrffffled my way through it and went right back to sleep. (sorry, honey)

4. Did you keep your new years resolutions of 2006? Ha, ha, I WIN on this question. I refused to ennumerate my resolutions, but I did mention them briefly. Blessing my circumstances and yoga -- yeah, I think I did okay on those. Especially yoga. I did much more of that in '06 than in '05.

5. Did you make any new friends in 2006? If blog-friends count, then yes, I believe I did. I love blog-friends. :)

6. How many different states did you travel to in 2006? Oh, wow. Let's see... Oklahoma, by way of Arkansas and Tennessee. North Carolina. Florida, of course. New Hampshire (first time). Virginia. Louisiana. Sadly, I didn't travel to Minnesota like I'd wanted to. But I'd say 8 is pretty impressive.

7. Did you travel outside of the US in 2006? Nope.

8. What was your favorite movie that you saw in 2006? Did I see any movies in 2006? I remember the most recent one, "Stranger Than Fiction." Other than that, it was Cars, and Toy Story 1 and 2 about eleventy-million times. Of those I'd have to say Toy Story is my favorite.

9. What was your favorite song from 2006? Oh, hahaha. Like I know the current songs? I did love the new Keane album, so "Is It Any Wonder" would qualify. I listen to the "dave" station, dudes. OLD people music from the '80s and '90s.

10. How many people did you sleep with in 2006? (Hee hee. This meme must have come from MySpace.) Um, TWO. On a couple of our road trips, AJ shared the hotel bed with me and hubby. Heaven help my ribs those days.

11. Did you treat somebody badly in 2006? No, I don't think I intentionally treated anyone badly as a regular course of action. I will say, sometimes in the morning first thing, when I arrive at the office, I blatantly continue walking straight to my desk even when people begin to try and hold full-on conversations with me. (While my bag's still slung over my shoulder and keys in hand!) So that's probably not very nice.

12. How much money did you spend in 2006? Ouch. We spent a lot, actually. Bought a large furniture item, a couple plane tickets, too many restaurant lunches, a lot of EXTRA-EXPENSIVE GAS (remember that, 2006??), a new stove, and here at Christmas we've kinda gone hog-wild (for AJ!). *Sheepish grin*

13. What was your favorite book you read this year? I have to say The Poisonwood Bible by Barbara Kingsolver, because I had built it up in my mind so much for years, and it actually lived up to all that; even went beyond what I expected. I LEARNED from it, I was entertained, I was thrilled by it. In second place? Wickett's Remedy, by Myla Goldberg. Weird little interesting, delectable book.

That was fun! Happy Thursday 13! :)

An Open Letter to Harry Connick, Jr.

Dear Harry,

You're hot.

Wait, that just popped out accidentally... Let me start again. Dear Harry,

I want to thank you for recording your Christmas CD, "When My Heart Finds Christmas," long ago in 1993. That was back when you had kinda weird hair and before you started wearing your button-down silk shirts half open, but I liked you then anyway. This morning, like turned to love. Real, for-true, I HEART YOU love, and it's based not just on your looks (I swear), but on our mutual appreciation of excellent music.

You see, yesterday after a grump-inducing day at the office, I could not rebound from a very bad mood, for the life of me. Not even my darling son -- whom I know you would love, as he's got a thing for Red Beans & Rice, and the only beignets to ever have touched his lips were authentic Cafe du Monde ones during a New Orleans summer thunderstorm -- not even that perfect, precious boy could make me completely forget my stupid work aggravations last night. I went to bed dreading the wash-rinse-repeat that would become today.

But this morning.... oh, this morning! I thought that "I Pray on Christmas" was my favorite so I tried it first. But after that, I casually clicked my iPod to "Must Have Been Ol' Santa Claus," and I. ROCKED. OUT. in the car. All the way to work. Or, maybe I JAZZED OUT. Whatever car-dance style your song is intended for, I adopted it. In fact, I think I was possessed by it. HELLO, RHYTHM! It's really incredible the way you and your band can swing a syncopation. Bomp, bomp, bomp... a-BOMPBOMP. That rousing, happy I-V-I bass line. See? I'm a MUSICIAN, not just a little fan-girl. Man, my stereo was thumping. (I didn't even know Toyota Highlanders could thump.) I repeated it two or maybe even three times. I couldn't stop. Singing at the top of my lungs, sharing the beat with you guys. It turned me around.

So in this season of giving, I want you to know that I GIVE YOU a double thumbs-up. A super high-five. A big wet kiss on the neck. I mean, uhm... a hearty round of applause for your musical talents and your ability to change really bad moods. And maybe lives.

Happy Ho-Ho-Ho to you, too! My heart found Christmas for the day.

XOXOXO...xoxo,
(really.)
el-e-e

Hope upon hope

Yesterday AJ and I were sitting in the kitchen floor -- I love that expression, don't you? "In" the floor? It sounds like a playland -- paging through all of his artwork from November. Usually his wonderful teacher sends it home once a week, but I guess she's been busy. (Of course she has! I can't imagine being a daycare teacher. It blows my mind, what she does in one day.) There were orange pumpkins, and a spider made of two handprints pasted together with the fingers pointed outward (some October stuff, too), and a pilgrim that was colored all BROWN in long, swipey scribbles, and several letters and numbers which I will paste onto the dishwasher so we can look at them at eye level every day for a week or two.

AJ *loves* artwork. He calls it that, too. He actually seemed proud to be showing me all these things. At home, we have watercolor paints, a plastic smock, and an easel, and that has fast become his favorite activity other than watching videos. I just love watching him choose a color (always in succession, brown, purple, then green or blue, then yellow/orange/red, then black - the order they sit in the tray), then carefully choose a spot to paint (he always paints a character's eyes first), then he kind-of bounces while dipping his paintbrush in the water, dripping on the way back up to the paper -- it's so messy, and yet so purposeful. And magical.

Anyway, as we were sitting there and I watched him thumb through his pictures, I started to really hope that I am doing enough for him. Not in a down-in-the-dumps way, just because he is such a precious little person. Growing up so fast. I want to do everything, give everything, be everything that a child -- THIS particular child -- needs to grow and thrive.

I hope that sitting in the floor with you is good enough. I hope that canned vegetables are sometimes good enough. I hope that going to Publix after school is okay with you, and even fun sometimes. I hope that quiet weekends at home -- rather than family trips to children's adventure museums or the proverbial playdates -- are good enough. I hope that *I* -- me, the little person that I am, the nothing-more than my own small brain and my own heart -- am doing right by you.

Visions of sugarplums... poof!

A quick follow-up to my worry about my brother-in-law sleeping 'til 10:00am on Christmas morning. I shared this fear with Husband, who said, "Oh HELL, no, that guy will get up at SIX." Evidently the nine-year age difference between them meant my husband (the elder brother) was awakened repeatedly and unjustly on the Christmas mornings of his teen years. Four a.m. happened at least once, in his memory. Revenge is kinda sweet. :)

Shop with me, people

Please help me.

I'm flailing on husband's Christmas gift. Thankfully, he's fooled: two items sit wrapped under our tree with his name on them. Only I know that they are socks and t-shirts, and not "The" gift. It's come down to these two options:

1. Three 600-count CD binders that we saw at Best Buy when we completed all our other Christmas shopping last Friday. Now, while these are not exciting, he has been contemplating them for quite a while, and I'll admit, it'd be kinda nice to rid ourselves of the 1800 jewel cases which are DISPLAYED (yes, all of them) on the bachelor-esque TV stand in our living room. I'm torn, though, because I'd hate for it to seem like a self-serving gift... "Yay, now you have binders! Let's get new pretty furniture." But he did SAY he wanted them.

2. Nintendo's Wii. Now, he's only once said he might want this, but if I know my husband, I know that a brand-spanking-new game system is going to get high marks from him. And he hasn't had a Nintendo since the late '80s. (GameBoy and DS don't count. And would ya look at me, throwing out terminology like I have a clue!) He's a loyal fan of both Xbox360 and PlayStation, but I know for a fact he doesn't want (is not spending $600 for) their new PS3. So the Wii is the other latest and greatest out this season, and Nintendo is touting its motion-sensitive controller; you can flail it about like a tennis racket or a sword if you're serving or slashing, respectively. Even I think that's pretty cool. I think he'd like it, even if it's just to keep up with the current electronic goods.

The tough thing there is, when he wants a game system, he usually makes it very clear -- like, asks his mom for it outright. Or buys it himself. And he hasn't done either of those things. Second: His birthday is in January. So either gift is good; if I get the binders for Xmas and find out he really wanted the Wii... no problem. Birthday shopping done. But third, his Father's Day gift this year got completely botched and I feel like I owe him a good surprise. A watch or a bag o' socks just ain't going to cut it.

What say you??

Love Thursday

Love is sharing Mr. Potato Head with your cousins.

Get your Love Thursday on.

The Grandness of Imperfection

Work is kicking my tail end this week. This is probably a good thing. I'm sure I could use a kick or two. Lots on my mind, though.

I'm really enjoying the Advent/Christmas season so far, despite the fact that my first batch of cookies was a bust (don't substitute margarine for butter; it's Christmas for heaven's sake. Just... Butter.)... and despite that I haven't done my cards yet, or even begun to wrap/ship any presents. My house looks pretty with all its decoration -- I love thinking about why we decorate, by the way -- the old custom of decking the halls, preparing our homes for the coming of the Lord is so quiet and forgotten among the Clark-Griswoldness of modern decorating superfluousness (my neighborhood even has a contest) -- but it makes me happy to think about that kind of preparation, and try to focus on welcoming the Christ-child.

In fact, we're welcoming my in-laws, who are definitely coming. (Would be good if I could think about welcoming Jesus in each of them... *trying*) This means two things: 1) We don't have to travel! Hooray! AJ gets to have Santa come down his very own chim-a-nee, and 2) I'm going to stress out about Christmas dinner and have to practice patience when there are more than one of us bumping around MY kitchen using MY new oven. Heh. Let's see... there were Three Wise Men; maybe they all tripped over each other to give THEIR OWN gifts first. But all three gifts were important, yes? They each got a verse in the song. :) Perhaps a good metaphor to keep in mind.

I'll also have to fight the urge to orchestrate Christmas day. The thing is, I want it to be somewhat MY -- MINE and HUBBY'S and AJ'S -- new brand of Christmas, with our traditions and special things. Not just their usual Savannah Christmas moved to within my Atlanta walls. Ya know? My BIL and his girlfriend will be here for instance, and I'm sure that means the events of Christmas morning can't start immediately upon waking with AJ at 6:00am. At least not the "perfect matchy-pajamas Kodak moment all together with everyone," the way I'd like it. BUT. I'm hopeful that I won't let that bother me too much. The imperfection of family is what makes it family, what makes it REAL. So if AJ opens all his presents at 6:00, and then the others wander downstairs at 10:09, so be it. We'll wait and do their presents then. And if Pa-in-law turns on the (gulp) TV -- The Weather Channel like he always does -- then I'll have to just suck it up and change the channel when I get a chance to the Christmas music station. Then we'll all have breakfast (Second Breakfast no doubt, for some of us), and it will be warm and wonderful somehow.

Watch out. It's gettin' crazy over here.

Today I will be blogging working from a post on my pretty red sofa, facing the lighted Christmas tree, rather than my usual spot at the kitchen table (see right). Because it's Pretty and I Wanna.

If I were a normal person working from home, this wouldn't merit announcing. But I am a corporate drone who feels extreme guilt (and worries that OSHA might reprimand me) when I don't sit at some form of a DESK, with my hands and feet at 90-degree angles.

Nyah, nyah, I say today. And happy holidays. :)

P.S. From the sofa, I can see clearly the lower right-hand quadrant of our tree, heaviest of all with 14 "oh-na-mets" dangling precariously from the tippy-tips of their 6 saggy branches. (Yes, do the math.) Hee. So cute.

Easy, Breezy Recipe Monday

Look, diet or not, I like the cream sauces. Alfredo. Hollandaise. Bernaise. Mayonnaise.

Here's one I made the other night, using lo-fat versions of everything. It makes for a delicious chicken dish, with about half the guilt. ;)

Celery-Wine Baked Chicken see? right there, it's Celery. Healthy.

1/2 cup fresh sliced mushrooms
1 tbsp butter/margarine
1 (10.75-oz) can 98% fat-free cream of celery soup
1/4 c. chopped green pepper
1/4 c. diced celery
1/2 c. white wine
1/2 c. lite sour cream
4 boneless, skinless chicken breasts
pinch paprika
pinch garlic powder
pinch black pepper
1 add'l tbsp butter/marg

First you sautee the mushrooms in 1 tbsp butter (or cheat like I do and open up a little can of B&Bs). Add them to a large bowl, along with the soup, vegetables, wine, and sour cream. Pour into a 9x13" dish. Top with chicken breasts. Sprinkle chicken with the spices, and dot with butter. Cover.

Bake in preheated 325° oven for 45 minutes to 1 hour.

Serve over pasta or rice (egg noodles are great; whole wheat pasta works, too).

...That Radio Song!

I just have to post this because it is hilarious and SPOT-ON. My favorite Thursday 13 list from A Flyover Blog:

13 Christmas Songs I Never Want To Hear Again (HA!!)

1. My Favorite Things by Rod Stewart. This is just wrong. Rod Stewart bears no resemblance to Julie Andrews.

2. Rockin' Around The Christmas Tree by Jessica Simpson. Why is this girl still around? She can't sing, act or talk, yet she's everywhere! Go away... and take your sister with you!

3. Happy Xmas (War Is Over) by John Lennon. The most pathetic holiday tune ever penned. (Emphasis mine.) Guaranteed to induce severe depression. Makes me want to fill my pockets with heavy rocks and wade into the river...

4. I Wonder As I Wander by anybody. Just plain odd. Gives my a tiny chest pain every time I hear it.

5. The Gift by Aselin Debison. Can't sing. Can't sing. Can't sing. (never heard this one but I'm sure she's right)

6. The Christmas Shoes by Newsong. I detest this wretched song! Emotional manipulation on an unparalled scale. Whoever wrote this convoluted piece of Christmas drivel should be brought to the town square and flogged! There, I feel better now.

...click for more! It's worth it, I swear.

In response, and to shake those awful tunes out of our heads, I will list here my FIVE FAVORITE, pleasant-to-hear, happy-inducing Christmas songs.

1. "Sleigh Ride" by Johnny Mathis, Any Grant, or the classic orchestral version. I can't decide; I like 'em all.

2. "God Rest You, Merry Gentlemen" (choral). The poetry of the lyrics, the harmonies of voice, the minor-to-major resolution at the end...? PERFECT Christmas tune.

3. "Here Comes Santa Claus" (by I don't know who)... AJ's favorite, apparently. "Come Here, Santa Claus," he says. This cute-ism, I know, will live forever in our family lore. I'm trying to learn all the lyrics. I love the end, "So let's sing praise to the Lord above, for Santa Claus comes tonight." :)

4. In Dulci Jubilo. You're not going to hear this on 94.9 Lite FM. Too bad, because it's so upbeat and LATIN. Was my favorite performance in my college chorus (possibly because I had a small part in the special quartet).

5. I Pray On Christmas, by Harry Connick Jr. Not a traditional carol, but it's one of the 4 or 5 albums that I drag out every year.

"I pray on Christmas (Oh, sweet Jesus)
that the sick will soon be strong,
I pray on Christmas, the Lord will hear my song,
I pray on Christmas that God will lead the way...
and I pray on Christmas He'll get me through another day."

About all we can ask, right? :) (Boy, is it hard to just choose FIVE!) Oh wait. I have to put this one:

"Jingle Bells," by Herb Alpert. HA! What am I DOING with this album?? I don't know, but I love it. I wish I could attach a clip because it's so funny and loungey but I don't really know how to do that.

Anyway, happy holiday listening!