Before and After: Foyer and Upstairs Hallway

Nothing like having guests to make you clean-slash-decorate your house real quick. The very night that I wrote here about being anxious to hang stuff up, I went home and hung stuff up, because Kate's birthday sleepover was imminent. Not that the 12-year-old girls cared, but I did. And now I have photos to show you!

Before, foyer:

After, foyer (no new decor, just a much nicer color):

Before, upstairs hallway gallery wall. I never hated this wall, but I wasn't pleased with how unmatched and chaotic everything was.

After, upstairs gallery wall. Much calmer, matching frames (new floral art from Kirkland's on sale for $15!), lovely warm color.

 

I have since added 5x7s to that one frame that was empty: sweet baby pictures of both kids, that hadn't seen the light of day or been displayed, ever. 

Note our stupidly positioned light switches/outlets. The whole house is like this, with switchplates (even thermostats) in the middles of walls. We cannot understand why the builder did this. Note also the wreath: Ash the cat was verrrrry interested in it at first. From downstairs, we heard a loud, scratchy attempt to jump up and attack it. Only happened once, though, and thank goodness he didn't scratch up the newly painted walls, or he'd have been In Trouble (what does that mean, exactly, with a cat? Nothing). Finally, here's an example of, why we can't have a house that looks like Southern Living magazine: Nestled in the bottom of the wreath now is a Yoda figurine. Pretty sure that was Shawn's doing. It's fine, no one's going to see it but us, and it made me laugh. But still. I try and I try.

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We're in the middle of the week already, yay! Kate and I had Monday off, and I needed it, to continue recovering from her birthday party. Not to be dramatic, but it nearly killed me. Walking up and down the mall while the girls did their scavenger hunt was not what I had envisioned. I'd envisioned bringing a book and letting them go by themselves, and check-in with me every so often. But the little girl in Kate is not yet ready for full independence, so she asked me to walk.... behind them. Ha! Wants me enough to keep her safe, but not to actually BE with her! Anyway, I needed that extra day. 

Alex is in driver's ed this week, poor kid. He has the whole week off school, but is, in fact, going to school Mon - Thurs. It's a county program and has to be done, but I feel for him. 

Both kids were starting to have sniffly noses and sore throats on Monday-Tuesday, but I think we have sufficiently headed off anything worse (knock on wood knock on wood). 

And we're eating easy, but yummy meals - nothing I need a recipe for (skipped Hello Fresh this week):

Sunday - Angel Hair pasta w/meatballs, salad, and garlic bread

Monday - Burrito bowls with chicken, black beans, salsa, corn, etc. 

Tuesday - Ham, steamed broccoli, pasta salad and crescent rolls

Wednesday - I'm going to pick up a rotisserie or fried chicken, and make mashed potatoes and corn

Thursday - I think this is going to be a Leftovers on Parade kind of night.

Friday - Tetrazini (from the freezer), green beans and rolls

Twitter, weekend, and decor

I have been spending a lot of time on Twitter. I used to pooh-pooh it, having plenty enough social media and long-ago schoolmates to deal with, thank you very much, on ye old Facebook. But I don't know, over the last couple of years Twitter has become more interesting to me. And much more tiring. Of course I know it's where most of the angry bots live, and of course I recognize that the feed is curated mostly by Twitter's weird algorithm so that I don't see what I signed up to see, but instead the various Likes of other Twitterers that I may or may not even know I'm following.

It's awful, is what I'm saying.

But why am I drawn to awful? Why do I keep going back for more? Sure, there is some funny stuff mixed in, and some heartwarming stuff -- do visit @emrgencykittens, @alyssalimp, @facespics and @mecookiemonster for some completely banal entertainment. I don't follow any particularly volatile accounts, just people or entities that I like, such as TV shows and 2006-era mommy bloggers. And a little news (NPR, Dan Rather, my local NBC affiliate) to stay informed. Still, it eats away at my brain and makes me feel bad when I click away, and then an hour later, open it up again. WHY, dopamine? So stupid.

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Guess what? We did NOT have a so-busy-I-have-to-blog-it week, or weekend! No juggling whatsoever, except Shawn taking a half-day Friday to hang out with Kate who had a half-day. It was just regular: work, school, and that's it. No band events! No drama club! Shan was away Thursday and Friday, making my work time even more gentle. This weekend I got my hair cut and colored, long overdue -- while it snowed!! -- took Kate to watch the 8th grade girls' basketball game at CTK (I thought we were through driving for bball this season, but nope - actually it was fun), and we had dinner at Chili's, the ultimate in lazy weekend ideas. I was supposed to go to a friend's for girls' wine night, but it got postponed. I was glad.

Friday night, the kids both played piano in the annual Federation (of Music Clubs') solo and hymns competition, and scored all Superiors! YAY! More and more, I'm glad of these types of things that Alex will be able to add to his college applications. (Eeeeek. He hasn't yet begun talking to us about it. I only hope he's started THINKING about it, but I have no idea.) But also because working hard at something, feeling nervous, and then having to be brave and perform in front of a judge is just good life experience.

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Yesterday I got twitchy about my newly painted, but as-yet-unfinished walls. The new grays are beautiful, but I'd like to hang pictures back up at some point. However, it's too hard to make decisions about which pictures and where. We have SO many frames, but many of them aren't that pretty. And yet, I don't want them to "go to waste." We have tons of wall space, particularly in the hallway upstairs. But every time I start thinking about it, I get overwhelmed for some reason. I want it to look planned and lovely, not random and "college-apartment." It doesn't help that many of my friends here in the suburbs have professionally decorated homes. Bleh. Kate helped me, though, and we went to Kirkland's to buy a new "focal point" picture (they were having a great sale). I think we have at least one of the walls figured out, now we just need to do the hanging.

The wall going up the stairs is the hardest, to me. I can't figure out how high to hang things there. I know I need 3 new frames that match, for that space. The question is what to showcase there. Family photos? Or pretty prints/paintings? WHY is it so hard to commit to a nail in the wall?! SO. HARD.

January wins

The first win, I guess, is that I'm working at my kitchen table this afternoon ("working"), and this is the 2nd time this month I have done so.

The second win is that January is finally OVER, and I say that with love, but man, did this month pile on the Busy. It felt like it would never end, with the weekends going thusly:

• New Year's weekend, which we spent in Pcola and was lovely
• New bed delivery (Th), and middle school semi-formal for Kate (Fr), and basketball (Sa)
• Painters in the house (Th and Fr), and then JTF (Sa-Su, skipped basketball); thankful for MLK Day off (roofers)
• Aladdin, Jr. weekend and Mom and Dad's visit to see the play (loved having you!), plus basketball
• This current weekend will be basketball - hopefully the last game on Saturday but only if Kate's team loses (it's bad to want them to lose, right?)

Weekdays were rehearsals for all of that, of course. So, yeah. Stick a fork in me, I'm done. (Thank goodness the marching band is off in January!) All of those things were still wins, though. 

The NEW BED! We gave in to the Sleep Number pressure and I think we both like it! I won't say "love," because we're not hopping out of bed in the mornings with zero pain, but it seems to be significantly less pain. I love how, when I first lie down to go to bed at night, the bed pauses and then slightly adjusts to me. It's like a gentle hug: "Welcome to bedtime!" I wonder, will my Sleep Number need to go UP in the years to come, as the bed starts to wear (up is more firm, down is softer)? Probably. Still, it's a significant improvement over a bed whose springs were legitimately poking us in the back/sides while we slept. 

The Paint! Of all the rooms in our house, the entryway was going to be hardest to paint, because it's open to the 2nd story. So we hired it out. I went with Ellie Gray in the entry and Silverplate in the hall (both Sherwin Williams) and they look good together; actually there's barely any difference between them, but that's okay.  

Hello, Fresh. ?  I think this is a win. I'm certainly glad we've tried it. It isn't blowing me away, but it's good food and proper portions and it helps me not serve the same-old same-olds all the time. And helps me have an answer when Kate asks "What's for dinner tonight?"

One more tiny win: At work, I was given the [hokiest, dorkiest] "Kinda a Big Deal" Award for the month. It's supposed to come with a gift card which I haven't received yet, but still, it's nice to be recognized and the person who nominated me (I found out later) was not who I would have expected. I want to do my best at work, but I am having a hard time settling on what that looks like. I also got an adjustable desk so I can stand up twice a day for an hour or so! I love it -- something I've wanted for a long time, work-wise. I think I also got out of having to travel to an event in April, woo!

I'm reading "Where'd You Go, Bernadette." It's funny, but I really dislike every character -- they're terrible people, all of them! Still, a quick read that has felt light in an otherwise stressy month, is a WIN.

Happy Friday!

Look at Me

"I'm the king of New York...!"

I'm on a Newsies kick at the moment. Last February, I was reminded about how I love musicals, and this past weekend, I was given another boost to my system.

Sorry, no video, this is just a screen grab - but it wasn't that interesting, anyway.

Kate's drama teacher has always taken the kids to the Junior Theater Festival, and this year I was asked to chaperone. I DREADED it. I knew it would be a long 2 days, at a conference center, trying to corral 39 pre-teens who were full of adrenaline and Broadway Jr. enthusiasm, and it WAS long.

However.

It reminded me of when I was that age (and a bit older), when all I ever listened to was musical theater soundtracks over and over, and although I knew I wouldn't ever make it to Broad WAY (as one of the speakers this weekend kept saying), I loved being part of the chorus in the small-town shows I did. I loved being backstage. I loved Friday night rehearsals. I made my first best friends in those shows, and we had inside jokes and we weren't afraid to express ourselves, and that was HUGE for me, who was pretty shy as a very young girl. We were loud and full of laughter and didn't care what anyone thought. AND we knew how to sing and dance, and deliver a line (well, the ones who had lines did). ;)

The weekend was exhausting, as I predicted, but my girl was happy. Her troupe didn't win any awards, and gosh, were there some excellent performances from other groups. Ours, very amateur (but so sweet). Still, Kate said several times how much fun she was having. I don't know if she's been bitten by the Theater Bug (harrrr, a cliche I very much dislike), but I'm so happy she's trying it out, and I was so happy to be there to experience the fun alongside her. (And pay for her merch, of course.)

Anyway, I got on here to say that I'm now working hard to fill in the gaps in my knowledge -- this week it has been Newsies (LOVE) and Wicked (meh) in my Apple music library. On deck: Book of Mormon, Waitress, Rent, Matilda, Dear Evan Hansen, Children of Eden, and probably Tuck Everlasting (because I can see our school doing that one if it ever appears as a Junior edition).

This weekend I'll be backstage chaperoning again during Kate's 2 performances of Aladdin, Jr., singing along and clapping wildly for the next generation of musical theater kids.

Post something, already!

I have started posts at least twice, then abandoned them. I had an inkling to do the whole big 2019 Review post, but I guess I decided against, since I never did it. I did do a final review in my planner, in which I said these things:

• I enjoyed having a paper calendar/planner again
• I loved Golden Coil, but over-estimated how many pages I would need, esp. re: goal-setting.
• Goal-setting still makes me feel more shame/guilt than control/productivity
• I'm proud I was gentle with myself about the goals, but don't feel like I want to continue with them, at least not on paper so much
• Gratitude journaling remained constant, all year long
• I chose a Rifle Paper Company planner for 2020 and think it will serve the purpose just fine, for about half the cost

Best things about 2019:

• 10 years at my company (!!), which means more days OFF going forward
• Some workout success, both in January (30 days of yoga w/Adrienne) and July - Nov (150 minutes/week, 17 consecutive weeks)
• Marching Band Mom-hood! Discovered which volunteering I like and don't, made new friends, took a trip
• Quitting gymnastics (Kate) and choir (me)
• Experience gifts for the kids (a gaming "homestand" for Alex and Shawn Mendes concert for Kate)
• Gardening more thoughtfully
• Jilly's (my sis) happiness, engagement, and the family meeting her fiance last week in P'cola (New Year's Day and weekend)

In general I think I was more calm in 2019, refusing to let being busy stress me out so much. Relative to that, I didn't even want to consider the "worst things" of 2019. Didn't bother. No need to think negative thoughts. 

So, here we are in 2020! Twenty-twenty! Can you believe it?? We have a lot going on already. 

• Doctors, ahoy. Starting last month, I visited the eye doctor, my primary care doc, and this morning, the dentist. Kate went to a dermatologist and has a follow-up in 2 weeks. The kids both have dentist appointments as well, in January, and I get to have 2 cavities filled. Ugh. But thankful for insurance.
• We bought a Sleep Number bed and it will be delivered in 3 days. Shawn and I and our aching backs are very excited about this development.
• The painting crew is coming later this month to fix the hole in the kitchen ceiling and also paint the entry/walls of the stairs/upstairs hallway. Eeeee! Been wanting to paint those scuffed up walls since we moved in almost 5 years ago! Choosing a grey soon. Any suggestions are welcome.
• We also hope this will spur us to paint other rooms in the house, not to mention redecorating the guest room, but I'm not expecting it to happen right away.
• Kate's middle school semi formal dance this Friday, for which we are still looking for a dress and shoes, eek. Going at lunch today with fingers crossed.
• Kate's first drama club performance on the 24th-25th! So far she isn't in love with the preparation process, which includes rehearsal nearly every day for the next 3 weeks, but I hope the performance weekend will be fun for her. 

Posting our weekly menu is still so fun, somehow. It taught me last year that I am prone to taking the easy way out (hot dogs and fries, tra-la!) but also that the kids' palettes are slowly growing and more able to try new things. I have another Hello Fresh box arriving tomorrow, with Parm Crusted Chicken and Lemon-Tomato Spaghetti one night, and Cajun Blackened Tilapia with Red Beans and Lemon Rice the other. Yummy! Just noticed the 2 lemon sides, oops. However, those are probably not getting made until the weekend because my darling husband made the menu and did the grocery shopping this week while I was out of town, thank you, Shawn! and it's all of his family faves:

• Sunday: Spaghetti with meat sauce and garlic toast
• Monday: Cheesy baked chicken breasts, steamed broccoli, salad
• Tuesday: Chili
• Wednesday: Hot Dogs and Fries!
• Thursday: Pork chops (breaded) (okay, Shake n Bake), rice and field peas

Finally, I will tell you my plan for detoxing from the holidays, or should I call it All-Cookies All-The-Time. It is thus:

• WATER, lots
• 150 minutes/week (also good for carpal tunnel management)
• no second helpings
• no candy
• no sugar
• no dairy
• no extra bread (meaning, if pasta is on the menu I can eat some pasta, but no roll. And choosing salads for lunches instead of sandwiches, etc.)

Those last 4 are just for a week or two, hopefully to remove the feeling of bloatedness that has become permanent lately. Ugh. I was thwarted this morning: my coffee from home tasted terrible, so I went to the Dunkin drive-thru and ordered plain black coffee with vanilla flavoring (I know there's sugar in it). They handed me a full-cream, real sugar hazelnut latte. Oh well, I'm taking it as a loving gesture from God. :)

Even More Merry!

I just up and took Monday off! I had plenty of PTO days left, and Shan was suprirsed I was planning to be here Monday the 23rd, and she said, as she handed me a Peppermint Mocha she bought for me, "it isn't too late to request it..." So I did! And she approved. Yay! (Isn't she the best boss? I am very lucky.)

Now I get a whole week for Christmas and today is IT, and the last half of today I'm going to work from home anyway, because Alex, my dear 15yo Alex who spends so many of his half-days and days off at our house, without transportation or anyplace to go, just him and the cats.... was invited to "hang out with" 3 boys from his Spanish 2 class. The kid never asks for anything, and so even though we don't know the other kids, we are trusting him and trusting that their parents will be home (fingers crossed) and shifting our plans so he can go socialize for a while. (I'll stay home with Kate instead of him staying with her, as was planned.)

All this to say, I'm so happy we've finally made it to the end of this week. NOTHING is going on at my office anyway, or inside my laptop. No emails. Our German headquarters is already closed for the next 2 weeks, and our sales force, whom I support, has checked out. (I mean, Salespeople, they're on their own schedules all year round, right?)

Next Monday, Kate has scheduled a little lunch-date with her current group of girl friends, and I also have a lunch-date scheduled with my girl friend, and so it's starting to feel pretty festive slash laid-back around here.

We successfully prepared and ate our 2 meals from Hello, Fresh. The Bulgogi Pork with jasmine rice and roasted carrots was DELICIOUS. The Pineapple Chicken Quesadillas were, too, but less impressive since we eat quesadillas and pico often enough. But there's something I can't put my finger on about the HF meals... something about how "fussy" they seem to prepare. Maybe it's all the garnishing? (White sesame seeds AND lime zest AND finely chopped green onion? I would never do all that for my own recpies, although I guess the plates looked nice...) Or is it the packaging? When I cook with regular grocery-store bottles and boxes, things get put away back into the pantry -- but with HF, every time you use an ingredient, you have to throw something away. OR in my case, set it aside to be rinsed/recycled later, making the countertops seem messy and the whole affair unfinished... maybe it's that. I can't decide. Maybe I just felt rushed because they were planned for school nights. I liked the meals, though, and it's a good way to get out of a meal-making rut. I have skipped the next couple of weeks, but will plan to order at least one more time after the holidays. It is a pretty good deal, cost-wise. Thanks, Suz!! Anyone want a free box? I have invites.

I messed up a pot of ham and white beans the other night. HOW in the world I messed them up, I have no idea. I forgot to soak them overnight, but I know a trick for that: bring them to a boil, cover and let sit for an hour. Presto! Mom has done that for years. I've done it before. So that's what I did, then put them in the crockpot for 6.5 hours on low, as my recipe suggested. But they came out HARD! Not at all soft, even though ONE thing I messed up was I think I doubled the amount of water. Still, it doesn't seem like that would make a difference. Seems like it would even help! But no, the entire pot had to be thrown out, after we'd tasted and tried to eat them. At least beans are cheap. I bought them at Target, maybe they were defective? Who knows. Alex has been teasing me about "not even being able to cook BEANS." As if HE knows how. ;)

The Sped-Up Advent and Slowed-Down Christmas of 2019

Hasn't the month of December been a blur? With Thanksgiving so late it has felt like we arrived abruptly AT Christmas, and even though it's still 7 days away, time has already run out in my mind.

Our shopping is mostly done, thank baby Jesus, but very little of the wrapping. No Christmas cards have been addressed or sent. Nor have I attempted any meal-planning for the days of Christmas itself, because for the very first time, we have ZERO obligations and no family coming to visit. It's just US FOUR. I'm happy about that. I know I will probably feel a little bereft on Christmas Day, when Mom and Dad are alone in their house and we're in ours, 6 hours away, and Shawn's mom, too, by herself. But on the other hand, I have this cozy, slowed-down picture in my head of just a relaxing day, our little foursome and our kitties. I want to do my usual Christmas crepes for breakfast, and then I suppose we'll think of something a little more special than a weekday dinner, for afternoon Christmas dinner... but I also hope there's time for reading, movies, naps, games, hot chocolate, and maybe even PJs all day.

I DO NOT HAVE TO SING at any Mass this year! That's a first. Or, a first in a loooooooong time. It's my very best gift to myself, I'm so happy about it. Of course, it means we'll have to really work to get ourselves to a Mass at all... the 7:30 am is probably the wisest choice as far as crowds are concerned, but I can guarantee my crew won't want to do that. So 6:00 pm Christmas Eve is more likely. (Less wise.) Doesn't matter, I don't have to be there from 10 pm until 1 am and that is an amazing freedom.

Kate told me tearfully a couple of weeks ago that she knows, about Santa and the Elf and all. :( It was hard for her to admit. She was wandering around the house kind-of unable to sit still, looking at the Elf on the Shelf and acting like she wanted to say something, but not saying anything, while I was writing a grocery list. Finally, I asked her, "Kate, you seem like you have something on your mind, what is it?" And she said down next to me at the kitchen table, and said, "I don't want to say because I don't want to be sad..." and then I could guess what was coming. "I know," she said. I tried to comfort her and say that we'll still DO all the things -- I did get the feeling she was worried we'd say, "Oh welp, that's the end of that! Thank goodness, the jig is up!" -- and told her the "magic" of Christmas is that you're infinitely loved, and that families give gifts to each other to show that love and and and... and I think she understood, but still. big breath. It was a moment. The real end of an era. (I think she had her suspicions last year, truly, but wasn't ready to admit it.) And it's time, I mean, she's nearly 12.

Somehow, it wasn't enough to quell our parental desire to make Christmas special and... bigger than it needs to be. I mean, it isn't going to be "BIG" by some people's standards, but we still had to list out and chart all the gifts to make sure both kids' piles will be "even," and honestly I'd really like to be one of those families that does "Something you Want, Something you Need, Something to Wear, Something to Read," and that's it. Cut down on the consumerism of it all. Not quite there yet, but maybe one day. Jill's new family is apparently better at that; maybe they'll be a good influence.

We get our first Hello, Fresh box today! I'm excited! Tonight's dinner will be Pineapple Grilled Chicken quesadillas, and tomorrow's is Pork Tenderloin Bulgogi. Yay for trying new things! Thanks to Suzanne for the referral!

I have to work the rest of this week and Monday the 23rd, but it's already winding down significantly. I suspect I'll be doing some desk cleaning in the next few days, and not a lot of work-work. I'll take it! Merry Christmas!

Things I Don't Want to Forget, Fall 2019

• At one of the last marching rehearsals of the season, before Grand Nats, when it was inexplicably something like 36 degrees out and a night practice, Alex noticed his freshman clarinet buddy, Cooper, was wearing shorts, shivering with blue lips. Alex had prepared, thankfully (and somewhat surprisingly), by wearing two pairs of pants, one fleecy sweatpant and a lighter athletic pant underneath that. He gave Cooper the sweatpants. No fuss, just took them off and handed them over. No one noticed this, as far as we know, but Shawn happened to be watching practice that night and caught it. Our hearts grew three sizes.
• When I was sick over Thanksgiving (so sick! headache and cold for about 4 days straight, and I was stuffy enough that I couldn't taste any of the food I was making), my family was so kind to me. On Wednesday they let me nap for about 2 hours in the afternoon, and no one complained that we made it a pretty low-key Thanksgiving Day. They helped me cook. They probably did the hard parts for me. I took breaks. We used our regular, dishwasher-safe dishes, not the bone china I like to use on holidays - I just couldn't. I didn't even make any dessert until the afternoon of Thursday, which is when I finally started to improve, and even then only 1 dessert when I had been planning 3. I made the other one, the pumpkin bars, probably 2 days later. It was nice to be allowed to kind-of phone it in. Family is the best.
• Last week, high schoolers received their spring class schedules. Alex was called to the Guidance office to discuss the fact that they had moved him into 2nd period Band, which is the most advanced "Wind Ensemble" class. (He's been in the intermediate-level this semester, having moved up after his freshman year.) He went to the directors to check this. "Hey," he said, "I just want to make sure that this isn't a scheduling error." (Surely you don't move up after one semester, as a sophomore, into the highest level, right?) The head director responded, "Nope, that's not an error. Congratulations," in his very understated way. Heart bursting with pride (again)!
• My Kate has such a generous heart. While it sometimes drives me crazy, because she has all these "ideas" -- we joke that our most feared words from her are, "Mommy, I have an idea..." -- requiring us to go to Michaels to shop every weekend, mostly with my money instead of her allowance, it is so sweet, really. For her 4 best friends, she's decorated Mason jars with color-coordinated candies (Lindt chocolates), PuraVida bracelets, and lip balms, nestled into tissue paper or shredded paper/filler. And, not wanting to leave anyone out, she told me last night she'd also like to bake some cookies for 2 other friends, and put them in clear cellophane bags with pretty ribbon. Makes me happy to see her happy. 
• She also told me again recently, and I don't want to forget, that she desperately wants to be an interior designer someday. Have I mentioned this before? I think it would be perfect for her: spending someone else's money to do creative things. (And eventually, being her own boss.) It fits every aspect of her little (big) personality so well. 

Turkey Week

Hard to believe we have arrived at the end of the year and the holiday season! With Thanksgiving so late this year, everything feels like we're already late/behind, though. Not good! I am trying to envision a looonng December stretching out in front of me, to make me feel like there's still enough time.

Mom and Dad are driving to Atlanta as I type this from my desk at work. Festivities are about to begin! The kiddos are at home, sleeping in and, if Kate follows through with her plans, she's drinking coffee-milk (cafe au lait) and making a fried egg on toast. (This is her favorite breakfast lately.) She'll do her laundry this morning, and hopefully clean her bathroom -- Alex cleaned his yesterday. Such good, helpful children! Who are they? ;) wink wink. We were surprised that we didn't get any flak from Kate about being home "alone" today. Perhaps there is light at the end of that particular tunnel!

I put a chicken soup into the crock pot this morning. Creamy Italian Chicken Noodle Soup, to be specific. I've never made it before so I'm taking a risk, but it sounds delicious to me. Here's hoping! Will serve it with cheese and crackers, and French rolls. Because we have to eat something tonight, and tomorrow (Honey Baked Ham, salad, and homemade mac and cheese casserole), AND Wednesday (I'm hoping we'll go out)! Even though we are making a giant meal on Thursday! What's with that?!

I'm fighting a cold. Alex came home with it from Indianapolis -- I guess 8 hours on a bus with a bunch of grimy kids will do that to you -- and I guess he passed it on to me. I'm on DayQuil today, wishing I were at home under a blanket but hoping for the best. Thankfully I don't think it will be a difficult workday.

For one, we're having our office Thanksgiving lunch today. It's a concept I kind-of don't care for. It's turkey and dressing and sides from Cracker Barrel, and I'm sure it will be delicious, but... we're having that already, on Thursday, at home. Why duplicate it at the office? I would rather have an appetizers party/lunch at the office, I think, to mark the holiday but not RUIN the meal that we're all waiting to eat on Thursday. What say you? Oh, well, I should be grateful, and I am. I didn't have to make a lunch this morning.

For our actual turkey day, we're roasting a turkey (with sausage dressing inside) -- no fancy brining or any of that for us. I'm also having mashed potatoes (I realllllly want to try this), sweet potatoes, corn, green bean casserole, Sister Schubert's rolls, cranberry jelly from a can (and whole-berry, but also from a can), and an apple moscato wine I found at the store that looked festive. And I did buy ingredients for cherry pie and pumpkin bars! I can't wait.

There has been talk about seeing Frozen 2 (at least some of us), and we are proud subscribers to Disney+, are you? There will be some movie-watching going on this weekend! Also, I just downloaded the free (public domain) Kindle version of Jane Austen's Emma, because I realized I've never read it before. So I'm definitely looking forward to the "downtime" portion of the holiday.

Wishing you and yours a lovely time, too! Tell me about it! What are your plans?

So Proud

What a weekend we had at Grand Nationals in Indianapolis!

I have to explain: Our kids' show was entitled, "Restricted: Area 51," so early on in the season, parents started talking about tinfoil hats, and then some of them, including my typically not-so-spirited husband, ordered costumes. We were a pretty wild bunch of spectators, to be honest. 

...about to take the field... each band has 15 minutes total, to set up, perform, and exit the field. The show is 8+ minutes so it's pretty intense getting on and off! 

First set, before it begins...

Kate was over it by the end of the first day, and this pic was taken on the 2nd, so you do the math...

Clarinets section after their semifinals performance, I think

Because of copyright, we can't post the video yet, as far as I understand it. We did learn last night that each band's show is put to bed after the season, and won't ever be done or seen again, live. That's kinda sad, isn't it? But also, cool. Exclusive.

A few other memorable things:

• The drive up was fairly easy, and unlike when we take 5-hour road trips, I helped drive. I took the shifts that were closest to home, which I thought would make them easier, but actually I think there are more semi trucks near Atlanta and Chattanooga/Nashville, than further north into Kentucky and Indiana, so that was a mistake on my part. Whatever, it was fine. Scenic drive, morseo than when we go south. We even saw an Amish horse and buggy. 
• Our hotel was ...fine. It was a Towne Place Suites by Marriott, but it's hard to know what you're getting into when booking online. When we drove up at 4:00 on Friday, with Indy having had snow earlier in the week, things just looked kind-of dirty and sketchy. We were in a nondescript business-park kind of area, and there was at least one beat-up car leaving the parking lot as we arrived, and we were a little put off. However, our suite was completely fine with a mini kitchen and 2 bedrooms (we got upgraded). A little too much air freshener in the hallways, but otherwise acceptable. (I just realized no one cares how our hotel was, but I feel like I always get us rooms at these questionable places, because I'm always trying to save a little money. Ugh. Next time, I'm just going to have to be okay with spending a bit more, I have decided.)
• Lucas Oil Stadium is huge! Surprisingly, I have never been in an NFL stadium before! I am a fan of Peyton Manning and Tony Dungy, and liked the Colts back then, so I was happy to visit this particular venue. And what a feeling it must have been to perform there!
• It would (will) be verrrry easy for me to slip into being a total, unabashed marching band nerd. I have already been sneaking over to the hornrank.com discussion forums and following conversations with interest. ;)
• Our preliminary performance was good; however, there were some technical difficulties. The equipment crew couldn't find one of the tarps that are supposed to be laid on the field... one piccolo soloist's mic wasn't working... another tarp folded up accidentally during the show... and another prop had a door malfuntion, unnoticable to most, but not to those of us who were familiar with the show. STILL, it was enough to send us to semifinals.
• Semifinals was a SPECTACULAR run. Everything went smoothly, they found the tarp, it was heart-stirring and I sat there with my hands clasped under my chin the whole time, in nervous anticipation. They did so well. Left it all on the field, as they say.  ;)
• After both performances, it took me about a half-hour before I had fully calmed my nerves. 
• Thursday and Friday nights, we went back to our hotel and watched movies on Disney+. That was a nice way to wind down. We chose The Cat from Outer Space (ha!) from 1978, and then the new live-action Lady and the Tramp. Both were awesome. 
• Even with our stellar semifinals run, we didn't quite make finals. Our scores were so super close... but we just couldn't beat some of the enormous bands from TX and IN. It was disappointing, but what matters most is the heart with which the kids accepted that news, the pride they always have, and the memories they undoubtedly made. Those are the things we're taking away. In the end I think we finished 15th out of 90 bands. Not too shabby!
• I'm so, so glad we all went to experience this alongside Alex. It was incredible. It is an indescribable feeling to be a parent, watching your kid do huge things. 

Crunch Time: Grand Nats, Tgiving, Xmas Plans, and Books

Turned in 3 time off requests today, for the day before Thanksgiving, December 16th, and the 2 days after Christmas. I have one more I need to turn in, for a couple of days after New Year's, so we can go to Pensacola to meet my soon-to-be-new-BIL. :)

This is definitely crunch-time with fall activities and pending holidays. Whew, I mean, yesterday Kate had Drama rehearsal, which I chaperoned, from 3:30 until 5:15, and right after that, she changed her clothes and ran up to the gym for a rescheduled basketball practice from 5:30 to 6:30. We got pizza on the way home. No cooking on a day like that! 

I have found one trick that helps me feel relaxed during crazy-long days -- reading. When we're at home in the waiting-hour after we get home but before Alex does, if I sit down and read for a few minutes (I usually set a timer so I remember to get up and start dinner), I feel less stressed. Sure, I could vacuum or clean a bathroom, and probably should... but instead I read. Last night I tossed a book in my purse and read while Kate played ball. I guess it's the ultimate leisure activity for me, so it helps me feel leisurely, even when things are busy. Tip from me to you. 

Important to have a good book, of course. I gave up on The Shores of Tripoli because life's too short to read books that aren't captivating. Sorry, Mom, I hope you liked it (I gave it to her for Christmas last year and she passed it back to me). Instead, I'm revisiting something from my childhood: Homecoming, by Cynthia Voigt. This was my favorite book of all time, forever, until I discovered Jane Eyre, I guess. I got it for Kate to read since I was about her age when I read it... and she almost picked it up a few weeks ago, but went for a graphic novel instead. Not sure how I feel about that and I hope she won't skip it entirely. But I am LOVING IT. I remember nothing about it, really, except that I thought it was very deep and wise, back then. And it's a 3-book series, so now I have plenty to dig into slash take with me on our upcoming road trip...

to Grand Nationals! A phrase we knew not, until 6 months ago. Bands of America's final marching band competition of the year is held in Indianapolis, and this year our band is participating. Hoping to take home a trophy! And we decided to go to support them, as a family. I think it's a once-in-a-lifetime trip for Alex, since the band doesn't go every year. So yeah, I want us to be there. 

We're having quite a countdown, with flurries of messages and emails from the Band Boosters, events and practices and send-offs and goody bags and so much to do. Ironing the uniforms, gah! A full-day mini-camp for the marchers tomorrow, and a Parent Performance at the end of it. Not to mention a bit of drama from Kate about missing two days of school. Pfft, get over it, child, you get two days out of school! I can sense the beginnings of a small panic about packing, and about all the other stuff we have to do because the days leading up to the trip are just NORMAL DAYS... and and and... stopping to breathe now. 

I want to think about my Thanksgiving menu, and I have, a little bit -- mostly desserts. Really, I can't think about it until after this trip. Still, here are the three things I want to maybe make this year. Three desserts?? For 6 of us? Yes, maybe. 

1. A Cherry Pie. Because we don't really like pumpkin pie, and you know who likes cherry? My Dad. And me. 

2. S's pumpkin bars!! I am super excited to discover this recipe and definitely want to make them instead of p. pie. 

3. Maybe something chocolate. I can't remember if I have a trifle bowl. Maybe...? If so, this looks easy and yummy. Or possibly something more cake-like. 

The dinner menu is so defined, not much room to wiggle, you know? So desserts are what's up. ;) 

Okay, I really should get to work, eek. Happy Friday, people! 

Reminders

I don't want to get too personal about my own interior spiritual life on here, but I can tell you that the last several months, I have felt pretty off-kilter, and "what does it all mean," and "why do we even bother," and other despairing things. I wonder sometimes if my religious tradition is one gigantic sham, based on the various difficulties and news stories and politically-charged tweets and historical novels I read about it. Sorry, Mom, but that's what I wonder. And I believe that God gave us minds to think with and that it's okay to wonder such things, but then where does that leave me in the way of comforting faith? It's a circular story that I can't enter or exit with any definitives, right now.

So. I said I wouldn't get into it. But I just want to record here that, every week (or every week that we make it to Sunday night Life Teen Mass), when they sing their heartfelt, usually-written-by-Protestants (which I mention because I think it's significant), contemporary Christian songs for the Communion procession, I end up leaking tears (good ones). Something nudges me every time, reminding me that I'm not unheard. Making me feel, instead of think.

Kate looks my way every time, too, and whispers, "What's wrong?" I know it puzzles her. And probably embarasses her. It embarasses me. But it's something real that happens that I can't control. And so I keep thinking, keep trying, keep going.

Halloween is not my favorite, as a grown-up

...and yet, here I am at work, in my long black skirt, black shirt, spiderweb earrings and very tall witch hat (a leftover from one of Kate's costumes so it's small-ish around, and gives me a headache). The boss said "best costume wins a prize" and I don't know why I felt compelled to agree to it. Gotta show the appropriate amount of team spirit, I guess. There'll be pizza later, woo. But I have never really liked dressing up, as an adult.

When the kids were smaller, I also dreaded the walk around the neighborhood, trying to keep up with them. Plus, other peoples' kids acted like hooligans, running and yelling. Yuck. Shhhh. And back then, dinner was wrecked, bedtime was wrecked ... it was a whole thing. I usually end up having fun, but anticipating it, no thank you.

I mean, yes, the pre-party was/is usually fun(ish) -- moreso now that we like our neighbors -- and it's cute when they're little and everyone "awwwwws" at their costumes. Let's see if I can remember what mine dressed up as (somehow I didn't catalog it every year in the blog! What?!):

Alex's first Halloween... he was 3 months old, I'm not sure if we dressed him up. We did take him to a party.
Kate's first, she was a little gray bat.
at age 2... Alex was a brown doggie, and Kate wore a Braves shirt and a baseball cap.
3-4-5... I know there were Wolverine, HeatBlast (a cartoon character Alex loved), Blue the dog, and maybe IronMan in there. and Kate was a Princess, Princess, and a Princess. ;) (Belle, Sleeping Beauty, and probably Rapunzel.)
6-7-8... Kate was a witch one year, and then an angel the next, LOL so fitting. Oh, and a blue Power Ranger. I think Alex might have been a Power Ranger, too. He was a grim reaper once, but I feel like that was later, more like 7th grade. It's sad that I don't remember every year specifically. Sometimes, I do recall Alex would want to go as some anime character who wore a bandana and a blue hoodie.... and no one at all would know he was really dressed up. I was slightly embarassed for him those years. ;) Kate had me buy a $35 "Goddess" costume once... that one was a head-scratcher, too.

Last year, Kate went as a "vampire," but mostly she just put ugly makeup on, "blood" dripping and whatnot, and that was the whole point. This year she's making herself Mike Wyzowski from Monsters, Inc, and is going to be adorable. Alex wore a "This is my Costume" t-shirt last year, and I applauded that. He and Shawn bought alien heads this year (oh please click through, you won't regret it!), in honor of his marching band show theme, and I don't know yet if they're going to wear them tonight. (Alex has band practice until 7:30 anyway, so he likely won't trick or treat).

I agree with this blog post about letting them be kids just a little longer. I love that. But I have a feeling Alex will want to hand out candy instead tonight. Kate will go, with the other girls in the neighborhood, but they're all a couple years younger than she is. It's also supposed to rain, and that's another thing I dislike about Halloween -- when there's bad weather.

Anyway, boo, hiss, cackle cackle. At least we get candy!

Someone set the table (ha ha, it's always me)...

What's for dinner this week, peeps? Here's my plan:

Tonight (M): King Ranch Chicken Casserole and black beans on the side. Probably chips and salsa/queso on the side, too. This is a new-to-me recipe; I have a very old KRCC recipe - received from my aunt as part of one of my favorite bridal shower gifts, so many years ago. (It was a kitchen shower, and the gift was a recipe book where each guest had been sent a recipe card ahead of time, and brought them with them, to fill up the book! I cherish it.) But that recipe uses canned condensed cream-of soups, and that is so passe.

I think I did it wrong anyway by using flour tortillas, when I should have used corn all these years. It wasn't specified by my aunt. So anyway, it's Mexican fiesta tonight and I'm excited about it!

T: Leftovers on Parade, because we had a version of this sundried tomato pasta w/chicken on Friday night and there's a lot left. It was so yummy!

W: Soup and Grilled Cheese. You are starting to think, "She is really phoning it in this week, again!" And my reply to that unsaid thought is YES. I am bored with everything I make and tired of having to come up with new ideas. So soup and grilled cheese it is. Kate and I will have creamy tomato and Alex and Shawn probably will have Chicken Noodle.

Th: Baked Lasagna, salad, and garlic knots. The lasagna is currently in my freezer; I made it a few months ago and smartly kept half for sometime in the future. Thank you, past me.

F: Alex has band practice until 7:15 but the rest of us will be eating shrimp scampi pasta. However, I forgot to buy spinach, I couldn't find a small (mini) bottle of Chardonnay at the store I went to this weekend (Walmart, okay, it was Walmart*, and they had ONE Black Box Chardonnay but I couldn't reach it) ...and I just ate about 1/3 of the pint of cherry tomatoes I bought for this recipe. Whoops. So I'll have to shop again on Thursday for this one.


This turned out to be an extraordinarily pasta- and casserole-heavy week! Must have been the cold weather on Saturday when I made my grocery list! It was 50 degrees and raining allllllll day.

... reviews the list again...
... thinks about Friday, because Alex is going to have to actually eat with us, since it's a practice and not a football game...

Hmm. Yeah, I think the Friday shrimp is going to be postponed. Since it requires more shopping, and since pasta... I'm going to change that one. It will probably be hamburger patties, served with corn and mashed potatoes. Not that this is a healthier option, mind you, just an option.


*I officially hate doing my grocery shopping at Walmart, especially on a Sunday afternoon, but this weekend we needed a bunch of cosmetic-type things and some items for Kate's halloween costume idea, so Walmart it was. I hate everything about shopping there. Too crowded, nothing comes in regular sizes (food items, I mean), the cashiers use TOO MANY PLASTIC BAGS, and it generally puts me in a MOOD. I should say "Never again!" with vehemence, but Lord knows I'll have to go back there sometime. It's inevitable.

Little things I'm looking forward to today

This is a trick I've taught myself to get going in the morning: What am I looking forward to, today?

This morning:

1. Starbucks PSL creamer that I bought on a whim at Publix last night.
2. Setting a timer and working on the AdaptAir and Leyla product launch packages. One hour of focus at a time.
3. The lunch I packed. (My little things are often food things)
4. Taking a 10-minute walk outside, after the rain has moved on this afternoon.
5. Not cooking. (Tonight's dinner is either pulled pork leftovers or take-home pizza.)
6. The lovey kitties (both of them have been especially cuddly this week, which is fitting since it's almost their 2-year anniversary of coming home!)

I just finished one of the things I looked forward to earlier: my lunch. A salami, muenster and honey mustard sandwich. SO simple! But I rarely eat sandwiches and this was delicious, especially with a (this sounds so silly) bite of a Wheat Thin alongside the bite of sandwich. Perfect texture.

By the way, the PSL creamer wasn't as good as I'd hoped, but I think if I add a little nutmeg (and whipped cream, lol), it will be better.

Tomorrow's list will include:

1. Lunch with my buddy Susan at Panera.
2. Chaperoning band practice in the afternoon (leaving work a little early) with a new friend I enjoy
3. Temperatures in the high 60s/low 70s

Friday again, thank goodness!

Fall is rolling along so fast -- yesterday was the end of the first quarter of school for Kate, and here we are, nearly mid-October. Finally, the weather has shifted into "Tolerable" status; it was even chilly this morning, and I'm wearing jeans and long sleeves (3/4 sleeves, technically) with sandals, one of my favorite combos. I should be perfectly dressed for football tonight.

It has been one heck of a long week, starting last Saturday night. I had a work event downtown -- breast cancer awareness month, y'all -- at 4:00 pm. Alex had started his day even earlier with a mini-camp band practice from 8:30 until 4:00, and then they got into uniforms and went by bus to their first competition of the season. (We've learned there is such a thing as Band Competition Season.) I left my event early thanks to the kindness of Shan, offering to pack up our exhibit all by herself, and zooooomed up the interstate to make it for Alex's 9:00 pm performance time, and I made it, JUST.... and then they were delayed for possible weather. Ha!

In the end there wasn't enough weather to cancel, so they performed at 9:30... and were awarded the Grand Champion trophy around 11! (We didn't think we could possibly win! There were some other good bands. We (the band) didn't even do our whole show, and didn't use our full set of props!) IMHO, our band's musicianship -- they definitely sounded the best of all the bands -- and the level of difficulty of their show, gave them an edge. It was suuuuuper exciting when the awards were going out. I was all tense, hands clasped in front of me, eeeeeeeee..... and then yay!!!!

And that was just Saturday! The following Monday, another performance -- the county marching band exhibition (not a competition). That went until 11:00, probably, ending with a rousing performance by the guest band from Georgia Tech, which was awesome. Shawn took Kate home to bed, but I went to pick up Alex after the bus returned him to HHS, and after he helped unload the equipment truck (ooh, there goes my heart swelling again)... and we didn't get home from all that until probably 12:15.

Got up and went to school/work like normal the next morning, Lord have mercy and thank you for coffee!

So the week started out a little tired-y. We noticed a water stain on the kitchen ceiling on Tuesday or Wednesday. Something must be leaking upstairs, oh goody. Shawn and I have been showering in Kate's bathroom, because we think it's our shower leaking. The plumber is scheduled to come tomorrow morning (Saturday). I'm hopeful we can do some remodeling around the issue, for instance, removing the terrible flourescent light in our kitchen, like we did in our last kitchen, since our kitchen ceiling will likely be cut up and open anyway. We'll see. Fun stuff!

At work, it's been a week of management meetings, and me trying to make it appear that I'm making a difference. Sometimes I don't feel I am -- like I'm just here to help Shan with whatever she asks me to do. And helping is fine, being a helper is GOOD and worthy -- but I'd like to contribute in a bigger way, sometimes. This whole week I've been conflicted about not being invited to the mangement meetings. I'm not a manager, and don't necessarily want to be. But I do want to be considered more than just a general flunkie. Bah. I don't know. It's just background noise for my real work of Life With My Family, anyway. But it can make those 8 hours a day kinda challenging, especially when the task-load is light.

Tonight is a football game with our nearest rival, so it should be fun, and good weather for the FIRST time all season. I'm hoping to eat nachos LOL. Happy Friday. :)

Monday morning babble

My work trip to Philadelphia went well. I made some new friends, and because of what we do, they're all breast cancer survivors. Lovely ladies, making the best of a really shitty thing to happen to them. We enjoyed a delicious Italian dinner one night, 14 of us, which was a trip highlight. The other one was driving from suburbia back into Philly, and seeing this one HUGE, gorgeous bridge. And the third was, of course, Downton Abbey the movie. On a work-day. In a theater with its own brick-oven pizza and reclining seats. One of the best movie experiences of my life, really. ;)

After the trip I was finally motivated to schedule my annual mammogram. I had it this morning. It takes about 6 minutes, total, I don't know why I always put it off. (I mean, I KNOW why, but still.) Sad that it takes a breast cancer conference to get me to make one phone call. I do love my local hospital's women's imaging center, though. They make it easy. (I've been having mammograms for 10 years now! Milestone!)

Today is the last day of the month, and last day of my company's fiscal year, which means work will be abuzz. However, my manager is on vacation, woo hoo! As soon as I finish this post, it means I will be free to do what I need to do without too much interruption, and that always makes me happy. (Happy enough for a Monday anyway.) It's almost October, so I did my Q3 review and Q4 planning last week. I still love my Golden Coil planner. I hope I can afford another one next year; I paid $65 for mine and this fall they raised their prices. I saw a 39-dollar Rifle Paper Co. planner at a gift shop this weekend that would probably work just as well for me... we'll see. Anyway, after a couple of months without setting any real goals besides my 150 minutes a week workout goal (13 weeks in a row!), this morning I added a couple new ones:

1. Take more photos! I have a good iPhone, with a good camera, and I ought to use it more than I do. I'm super sad, for example, that the last time my parents were here I didn't insist on Alex standing with them in his band uniform and on his Confirmation day for photos. Sorry, Mom and Dad. But not even just special occasions -- the daily-round, not-that-interesting photos of the kids at breakfast, or studying at their desks, I never even THINK to take. So my goal is to take 3 photos a day, one in the morning, one at noon, and one at night. Whether or not I post this as a "thing" on Instagram..... no, never mind. I will NOT be posting every photo on Instagram. Maybe a few, but I don't think anyone is that interested. (And isn't this a commentary on the entire world?!)
2. Start thinking about HOLIDAYS. Eeek. We are low on vacation days as always, but we need to DECIDE where we're going to be, and with whom, and how, annnnnnd I need to get some gifts purchased before December 14th. I already have a few, but you know. It takes a while. 
3. Lunch with 2 friends this month, one being my very own husband. So DH, expect an invite soon. It will be nice to see you. ;) 

In the meantime, we're having some yummy dinnertime meals this week chez nous:

Monday: Oven-baked cheeseburger sliders, with fries/sweet potato fries (make both since the boys don't care for the sweet potatoes). 

Tuesday: Cilantro-Lime Skillet Chicken with rice and broccoli.

Wednesday: Ham and Potato Soup with crusty rolls. It's definitely NOT fall here yet, temperature-wise, but this soup is so good and I can't wait around on Mother Nature. 

Thursday: Some kind of chicken, haven't decided yet. With wild rice and green beans. 

Friday: Both kids have things to do, and I'll be a chaperone for band practice until 8:00, so...!

Travel Weekend

It's the eve of a travel day for this working mama, headed to Philadelphia for a Saturday conference. It is such a bummer when a work trip happens on a weekend! Ugh! Won't be home until Sunday afternoon. I'm grateful, though, that my manager usually remembers to tell me I get comp days when I work a weekend.

I might want to use a comp day next week, in fact, because Alex has his Fall Break -- a full week off -- but Kate doesn't. Such is the life of having 2 kids in 2 different school systems, but it kinda stinks. Last year, he didn't get to enjoy anything different about his Fall Break OR his extra February Break. The mom guilt is high. I want to fix it so he's not sitting at home for a week in all the breaks to come -- although to be honest, I think after his summer of all-band-all-the-time, he isn't too sad to have some downtime coming his way.

(Related: Last week I had a day of near melancholy as I realized we only have this school year, plus 2 MORE, with Alex at home. Yes. Two. The number stopped me in my tracks.)

Anyway, we'll be in Philly and I hope to eat a cheese steak! We have plans on the afternoon of Friday, to go see the Downton Abbey movie. It will probably be the best workday ever! For this particular conference, we aren't exhibiting, which means it will just be a non-stressful day of networking and learning.

I will for sure miss my family. (See above, 2 years left!) Especially in the fall, I prefer to be home on weekend mornings, sipping coffee on my back patio in the morning and baking something or making soup in the afternoons. But I will endure 3 nights in a hotel room all by myself, if I must. ;)

3 Reasons I Got Fired Up This Weekend

THREE different things got me well and truly fired up over the last several days. Let me tell you them:

1. An idiot kid posting threatening things on SnapChat, scaring students at Alex's high school so much that they were walking out of class immediately on Thursday. Supposedly, this was a kid who was expelled a few years ago from HHS, and was known as mentally unstable. He didn't mention HHS specifically, only warned "Don't go to school tomorrow if you know what's good for you," or something similar, and it spread like wildfire, scaring parents and kids alike. I saw some administration commentary indicating they had the situation under control with police, but: We had to have a family talk about "Do we send you to school and risk YOUR LIFE if a bomb or shootout is planned? Or do we keep you at home, needlessly interrupting your work if nothing at all happens?" We love him so much, and I know he knows that, but we decided, based on what we knew, that "we will not live our lives in fear" and sent him to school. He said, heartbreakingly, that he felt pretty safe at school in general, and the only thing he'd be a little worried about was his 2nd period class which takes place on a main hallway (the rest are in basement classrooms well away from doors). And I mean, GODDAMMIT. No kid should have to have that kind of understanding of how a shooting works.

It is unacceptable that this was our reality, even once. He went to school SCARED -- he might not admit it, but any amount of going to school nervous/scared is TOO MUCH. I went to work praying Hail Marys and "St. Michael the Archangel, Defend Us in Battle" and had knots in my stomach most of the day.

Nothing happened, ultimately. A lot of kids were absent on Friday. (The school admin had said it would be excused.) County police did contact the kid and I imagine he was properly intimidated. I hope they told him making threats is NOT OKAY. I'm glad we trusted our guts and the systems in place for safety... But STILL.

When administration finally emailed parents Friday around noon, saying they had increased security presence on campus and not to worry, the kid had been handled, I cried. Didn't realize I'd been holding so much stress in. I have a lot more curse words in me about the whole situation.

2. A possible schism: I don't know if you know this, but there's division happening in the American Catholic church. Mostly online, on Twitter, but I discovered it is spreading to "real life," too. There are Very Conservative "Rad Trads" (radical traditionalists, I think), and there are more progressive "Pope Francis/social justice" Catholics. One of the more well-known progressives is Father James Martin, a Jesuit priest who happened to write a popular book about how the Church should be welcoming and loving to our LGBT brothers and sisters. It's called "Building a Bridge."

We have 2 new-ish musicians at my parish, we'll call them Chrissy and Glen. I've enjoyed singing with Chrissy because she tends to love the 4-part harmony, traditional hymns more than the feel-good guitar songs -- and I agree with this, musically. She also really likes this young priest we have (that I can't stand) who is super rigid and preaches about Church Rules and nothing else. All the time. You're a Sinner and don't you forget it. (Barf. Not helpful. Give me something to hold on to, not more guilt.)

Anyway, Glen joined Chrissy and me in the music room this past Saturday night before Mass, and asked if I had met a new seminarian who has just arrived. (I haven't.) "Oh yeah, his name's Ben," Kate chimed in -- she had met him at a school assembly. Glen went on, with an obvious eye-rolling look toward Chrissy, "He's... building a bridge.... Have you heard of Fr. James Martin?" And I put it allllll together and realized these 2, G and C, are clearly part of the Rad Trad crowd.

It was such a quick little comment, and of course with Kate in the room I didn't want to get into it.... But YES, I know who James Martin is, I actually really admire him online. Are you saying Ben is gay, Glen?? Is what I thought to myself. I should have played dumb: "What EVER do you mean??" and made him explain himself. It was just a jerk thing to say. Who cares if Ben is?

Regardless, I don't like the idea that the schism is going to take place right here in my own tiny circle. Just.... No. Don't bring that crap here.

3. A Moms' text thread: Basketball is about to get started. Here's the backstory: Kate has played since the 3rd grade, and her little team of girls has won exactly 1 (o n e) game in all that time (she is now in 6th!). Sunday we got a note saying there were only 5 girls signed up for 6th grade bball, and the athletic director is recommending they "play up" with the 7th grade girls, unless they can get at least 3 more 6th graders registered. Fine by me. Sounds like good experience to play up. No biggie.

Well. One of the moms is all, "Our girls won't get any playing time!" and "We don't want to do this, we need a 6th grade team!" and I don't get it. WHY would you want to field a team with only 5 girls (or even 8)? It means they'll have to wear themselves out playing entire games with no subs. They won't ever win. They won't have a fighting chance! Who CARES if they play with 7th grade?!

I was so annoyed. I wasn't going to argue, but this 1 mom (whom I don't like anyway) kept texting. Finally I said my piece: "I'd like them to win once in a while. If they're outnumbered by every other 6th grade team, I feel like that's less likely." No one argued back. (SO THERE.) Maybe I should've kept out of it but I didn't think they were thinking straight.

All this drama!! Too much for one weekend!

Big Kids

A sophomore in high school, 15 year-old boy, who has a learner's permit to drive. And a sixth grader -- middle school, who does her own hair and definitely does NOT want to wear clothes from Justice anymore.

These are big kids living in my house and it's surprising sometimes. They take care of themselves (mostly). They manage their time and homework (pretty well). They shower without being asked to do so.

They both have such great personalities. You know what's awesome, with bigger kids? Joking around. When someone comes up with the perfect sarcastic one-liner, and everyone gets it, and it's FUNNY. We have some of the best laughs around the dinner table lately.

I have to share a photo that I just found on the Band parents' FB page: 

Newest marching clarinets C. and Alex

I just need to get one of him in his shako and plumes, with his instrument, so you can see the full pomp and circumstance. But THIS KID! I am so proud of him. C. next to him is a freshman, who looked like a deer in headlights the first few days of band camp. I think (hope) that Alex has been able to welcome and guide him along as he gets to know high school, just as a kid named Nick did for Alex last year. I hope that these two will be good friends -- the kid behind them is the only other male clarinetist, a senior. I bet the 3 of them have fun.

We have had fun. From the first home football game, when Mom and Dad visited and went with us, to the most recent Saturday band camp days with mini "performances" at the end for parents, to the first away game last week, we are learning the ropes and sitting on a lot of metal stadium benches. I've volunteered as a chaperone a couple of times, a seamstress a couple of times, and just last weekend, a concessions server (and Shawn was a Grill Dad). Hoo boy, it is a lot! But it's the best lot -- I'm having the time of my life. 

Guess what starts this week? Kate's middle school Drama Club. They are producing Aladdin, Jr. in January. I already have a volunteer title for that, too! And I'm feeling not stressed, but "BRING IT." I'm so excited for these two, and just love watching them do really impressive things.

New Routine, Fall 2019

We have settled in to the fall routine, I think, with a switch-up in our evening plan for most nights. Since Alex has band practice Mon, Tues, and Thurs until 7:15 (he arrives at home by about 7:45 after putting his instrument away and finding his ride), we are eating dinner like the Europeans!

And snacking a lot between 5:30 and 8. ;)

I haven't quiiiite figured out how best to manage MY time in-between, besides snacking and reading the daily newspaper/working the crossword and sudoku. If Kate has homework, she does that (or more likely, goes up to her room with her iPad to FaceTime a friend while supposedly doing homework). It's interesting that 1), she is in her room, away from me (she used to hate being by herself upstairs if I was downstairs), and 2) she is on the phone like a proper tweenager, right on time. She really gets most homework done in Aftercare, and that's fine with me. We have set wi-fi timers on her devices, so after 7pm she doesn't have access. But last night she wanted to learn a song on her ukelele, and the way she does that is via YouTube videos. I can't not encourage learning! Musical learning, at that! So I let her use my phone (after MAKING her practice piano first, which she was not happy about. I told her I PAY for piano, so that takes priority. She was unconvinced and will make a great lawyer one day).

It's a weird time-interval in the day, at any rate.

I have been known to get in a workout during that time, and it's useful to have an extra half-hour there, in case I just CAN'T get out of bed at 5:30 a.m.

What I really need to do is invite my neighbor over for WINE ON THE PORCH every evening. We've been wanting to do that for ages. Lately it's just too hot, but fingers crossed the summer will wither here shortly and we can enjoy the outdoors again.

I have had time to make meals. And banana bread. And salsa. This week:

Sun - Spaghetti, caesar salad, garlic knots
Mon - Sausage, broccoli, potatoes roasted on sheet pans
Tues - Taco night! with homemade salsa! We have friends who keep giving us giant bags of jalepenos and banana peppers
Wed - Baked chicken thighs, green beans and wild rice
Thu - gotta go with fast food - it's Meet and Greet night at both schools, plus band practice pick-up and one other thing that we're skipping!
Fri - first football game! Hot Dogs at the game, I hope! :)

Been working out...

I haven't posted anything in the "health" category in a loonnng time. But want to record here that I've been working out consistently for 4 weeks: 5 times a week, 30 minutes each time. The minimum that the health people advise, but the maximum I've worked out ... maybe ever. I had a high cholesterol lab result at the beginning of July, and it turns out that was all I needed to motivate myself to start getting out of bed at 5:30 again.

It's no fun. I have to convince myself EVERY morning by saying in my head, "You won't regret it. You won't regret it." But I'm doing it. I decided about a year ago that I don't enjoy walking for exercise. I mean, in a pinch I will do it, especially if I can listen to a good podcast while I walk. But I don't like making that my main activity. I did, for years. It was easy, no equipment required, it was outdoors (fresh air!)... but just like your taste buds change as you get older, so do your exercise preferences.

These days I'm doing videos. I think the Internet has been great for semi-introverts (read: no gyms!) who still want to work on fitness. I try to mix it up with low-impact cardio, some toning with hand weights and abs/core, and really only once a week doing a "yoga flow" that gets the heart pumping -- all from YouTube. If you're in the market for something new to you, I found Pahla B. Fitness, and am liking her. She's goofy, but relatable as a "real" person. She's not a skinny 20-something, and I feel like we could be friends. ;) And of course I still love Yoga with Adriene.

I'm not trying to diet or even watch the scale (much). Just working in hopes of lowering cholesterol.

That's it, that's the post.
(Hee, I love that recent trend in online writing: "That's it. That's the Tweet." etc.) 

All the wonderful things

Positivity: It's what's for breakfast. I started thinking just now of all the wonderful things we've done or witnessed this summer:

- Sent our kids to camp, where they enjoyed the wild and joyous life there, and we enjoyed two weeks of quiet, uninterrupted couple-time (TV -- What We Do In The Shadows made us laugh, and Chernobyl was disturbing and great) (along with our day jobs, of course). This is a luxury so many parents don't have, and even though we don't go on a lot of regular dates, we can count on this time in the summers. It wasn't fancy, but it was good.

- Painted a room! As well as clearing out a lot of clutter from that room, and from other rooms. I donated lots of books and clothes this summer, and that felt great.

- Continued to work, with the help of our nanny. Carli has come to our house just 1 or 2 days during the weeks when the kids are home; just enough to appease and entertain Kate. She's taken them to her neighborhood pool, done errands for me, gone to Target (just to look!) and this week, she introduced Kate to the art of thrifting, for which I will forever be grateful (Kate came home so proud of her Abercrombie shorts for $3! More of this, please!).

- Watched Kate's anxiety about being home "alone" decrease. At the beginning of the summer, she was very worried on the few days we left them without Carli. All my reassuring words weren't enough to convince her, Alex being 15 wasn't enough, and she would text me several times a day asking when I was coming home or saying she was scared of a noise. This week, she found out she had two days of "home alone," and didn't really bat an eyelash. It's just the norm now, nothing to stress about. I hope that will stick.

- Given both kids a measure of independence. Making their own breakfasts and lunches. Doing some laundry. Vacuuming for extra allowance. Today Kate's re-organizing her bathroom. I think those are good skills to have in their life-toolboxes, even if they aren't as spectacular as trips to water parks and Europe and Alaskan cruises, like some of their friends have had this summer.

- But we DID take a trip to the water park, in Destin! And spent a day on a pontoon boat. And long, lazy days at the beach and the pool. We spent 7 days together, smelling like sunscreen and doing very little productive. I'm so grateful for that week.

- Attended several pool parties at our neighbors' house. There's another one this weekend, and the kids will even get to attend. :)

- Shuttled Alex to and from Band Camp for the past 2 weeks! And that has enabled/required me to work from home more, leave my office early and go in late. This is a little blessing, and has made my summer feel more at ease, actually.

- Experienced a few band rehearsals and watched Alex be AMAZING as part of this talented group! Every time I'm there, my heart swells.

- Started planning a trip to Indianapolis for the Bands of America Grand Nationals competition in November! So we may not have traveled a lot this summer, but we're adding a trip to our schedule for late fall, and it's going to be FUN. And I'm hopeful we'll get to stay somewhere for free, stay tuned.

-  Celebrated Alex's birthday by buying him tickets to the Atlanta Reign homestand -- and next week, Kate and I are going to celebrate last Christmas again, because one of her gifts was tickets to see Shawn Mendes! Experience gifts FOR THE WIN.


Summer's almost over here, y'all. School starts NEXT WEEK for one kid, and we've already bought supplies. Hang on, we're in for a wild ride!

Journal-y

I'm feeling journal-y this morning. Band Camp starts in about 12 minutes for my boy. I'm so excited and happy for him - wishing I could be there to chaperone and watch, but knowing he doesn't really want me there, and that's how it should to be. (I think I will sign up to chaperone next week, though.)  I know it's going to be a great time. I know he's going to excel at this. I pray he will stand out to his directors and develop as a leader, too. I really want that for him. To find a place to shine.

We had a nice weekend, starting on Thursday when I was able to work from home all day (1 day a week, worked this out with Shan in May). Then Friday, I went to the office in the morning, but came home at 11:30 to drive Alex to his sectional rehearsal, and then worked from home in the afternoon again. Shan was out both days and no one noticed I was gone. Not that it matters. But it was so luxurious, and I even got some work done (not all of the work, but some). Kate sat alongside me and finished her summer homework. I think every working parent should have this option in the year of our Lord 2019. Laptops are a thing! VPN access is a thing! Even phones you can take with you, to your home, are a thing -- so even our Customer Service people could have the benefit of a work from home day once in a while. I told our IT guy that last week -- that if he got the technology in place, it would be a huge win for everyone's morale.

Anyway, I worked at home. Friday night went to the New Band Parents' meeting. LOVED IT. Had to try hard not to cry before our band career even begins -- I already feel the emotional part of it. Everyone who spoke said it's the "best decision they ever made" for their family; that their kid has grown so much; found his/her people, made lifelong friendships. Sob! I already adore the kids' director; he seems so honest, so sincere in his goals for all of the kids. I totally want to be Band Boosters President one day. Haha! Like I have time for that. But seriously, I am ALL IN already. Anxious to find my place. I will attend Chaperone training tonight, and hopefully chaperone a football game or two this fall, or practices or whatever. I want to work in the Spirit Shack selling t-shirts. I want to work with Special Events (dinners, banquets). I want to do it ALL. (Except fundraising, lol. Too much pressure there.)

Saturday morning, Alex and I were supposed to work at a (band) car wash. But it was cancelled due to rain in the forecast. Yippie! I didn't have to be anywhere or do anything until 2:00, and that was awesome. At 2:00 I took Kate to a sleepover which she was so excited for; it was a group of girls she really likes and a house with a pool, so she was in heaven. And that meant the rest of us could go to Mass and dinner and finish watching Stranger Things, and so we did.

Then Sunday morning, I did a long yoga video and worked on the NYT Sunday crossword (almost solved it completely but had to give up after I'd spent too much time on it, deciding I needed to turn my attention elsewhere) before going to pick up Kate. Groceries, a trip to shop for workout clothes for Kate -- gymnastics camp this week -- and then a lovely Sunday dinner of maple-glazed salmon and roasted potatoes and broccoli.

It was really great, somehow, because there was some ease in it. No rushing around, no real deadlines or must-dos. I need more days like those.

Here are my menus for this crazy week, in case anyone has read this far down the page:

M - Chicken patty sandwiches and fries, both from the frozen aisle, but this is how it is on a day when we have camp pickup at 5 and then an evening camp event at 6:30.

T - Band Potluck! I am taking pasta salad with peas and celery

W - Chili with rice

Th - Fettuccine w/ Creamy Tomato sauce and broccoli on the side

F - Leftovers or Whatever You Want night

Just point my car in the right direction

 * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *  First of all, Happy 15th Birthday to our Alex!  * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * 

It's incredible to me that he's 15, and coming into his own. I really love his teenager self. I thought nothing would be better than his toddler self, but I'm just constantly floored by what a great kid he is. He celebrated yesterday by attending a live professional video gaming day (I don't know either) and it was awesome, I'm told. He looked so grown up when he got home. There are great things ahead for him this year, I can feel it. 

-----------------

This morning, I have spent the majority of my time coordinating calendars. I hate having three separate ones, but there's a work calendar, our shared family Google calendar, and also my paper planner, which is slightly unnecessary, except it has journal pages and goal-tracking pages and those speak to my heart, so: three calendars it is.

Band Camp starts next week, so I'm trying to line everything up. It takes place here in town, so that means we have to drive Alex there and back twice each day (morning session and evening session), which is going to be tedious. I'm praying to meet a kind mom or senior band member who will share driving duties with me somehow. 

I thought it would be best to have Kate in a camp that week, too, so she's signed up for gymnastics camp. Naturally the pick up and drop off times are slightly different; luckily the two locations are 1 mile apart. 

(It would be so much easier to take the whole week off. And actually, for the first time in my life, I have extra PTO days to use. In fact, I could take the week of Band Camp off and still have days left for Thanksgiving and Christmas. But because we just did Destin week, my good Worker-Bee self says I can't disappear again so soon. Sucks to have a conscience sometimes.)

Well, anyway, juggling WFH days and drop-offs/pick-ups is pretty much our life now. And I guess I do appreciate the paychecks. 

We had a good July 4th weekend. Picked the kids up in Montgomery, and had a nice lunch with Mom and Dad. :) I'm so, so grateful the kids have that time with their grandparents in their memory banks forever. They had to re-calibrate this year, because Tommy took his kids on another trip, but I think it was probably good for everyone. Instead, they got extra time with Michaela and Josh, and I was delighted to hear that my two were really good with them (they are our even younger 2nd cousins, ages 6 and 3). Plus, they had time to work on a lot of summer homework. 

Today I'm feeling ranty about summer homework. While I appreciate the idea of summer reading very much, and can understand why math teachers would want there to be summer math, too, keeping minds sharp and all that... I really don't like it for the kids. Alex, particularly, is taking an AP Humanities course next semester so he's practically taking a whole course this summer, thinly veiled as a "pre-course assignment." Poor kid. He's hoping to finish it this week, before Band Camp starts and takes over his life.

We also need to make up several piano lessons that the kids missed while they were away most of June. So we're working those in. 

And my very first friend from Kindergarten, Melissa, is in town this week, so tomorrow we're meeting her and her family for dinner, unexpectedly.