House; and summer panic

One thing that makes me sad about our move back in 2014 is that we couldn't find a house with a finished basement. I mean, one never expects to find ALL of the things that one wants in a house, I know that. But we gave up a lot of our wish-list items because by the time we found our house/neighborhood, we'd seen SO MANY wrong houses already, and ours was under contract and time was ticking.

We had seen a lot of larger houses, with basements... but they all needed a lot of work. Like, old ugly kitchens, plus needing to renovate the basement, plus paint. Or, newish kitchen, but terrible carpet/floors/bathrooms. We're not very good at working on houses, as it turns out. We were wary of buying something that we'd always want to renovate (but never get around to).

So we are grateful for our house and neighborhood, yes. It was move-in ready and in good shape. But 1) a basement/media room (more space in general) and 2) the master or a guest room on the main floor were things we really did want, and still don't have.

Kinda a bummer. I'm not sure why I'm thinking about that today.

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One of the things I think I'm terrible at, is medium-term planning. Long term, we're finally doing okay, although we have some paperwork we owe our financial planner this week. But medium-term, the time it takes to, say, plan a trip -- or plan summer -- is hard. Summer 2019 is looming, and we have a teen and a pre-teen who don't need a babysitter but don't need to be sitting around on YouTube all day long. They're going to their 2-week, no-devices camp in early June. But what else? What will they do after that?

I tell you I am so weary of setting up summers.

One of my church friends is looking for a very part-time, like one day a week for a couple hours a day, babysitter for her grandson. I think Alex would be great at it; he's good with kids. Is he interested? That I don't know. Should he think about getting another, "real" job? He'll be 15, but not until July. Most things I'm reading say you really need to be 15 to be hired, and even then, it's slim pickings. So maybe babysitting is it? And what, pray tell, will I then do with Kate on those days?

I'm considering a request to work from home one day every week during the summer, for a start. Maybe I can find a pool and take the kids one day a week? I just seriously don't know. I can't deal with the thought of them doing NOTHING.

When I started thinking about summer, that got me thinking about driver's ed. Should Alex be taking that this summer? From what I can see online (today), in our county the 30-hour classroom course is only offered in April or May. He won't be 15 yet, so does he take that the following year, before he gets his actual license? But he has to pass a written test for his permit, at 15... panic panic panic I need a book to give him to study in the meantime, I guess, and how in the HOW am I supposed to teach a kid how to drive? What if I don't do it right? What the heck??? My kid is old enough for me to be thinking about this?

Musicals! Revisiting the me of my teens

I finally listened to "Hamilton" about a month ago. I'm about 4 years late, I realize. It is so good. I want to hear every. single. word. when I have it on. It has made me want to revisit all the musicals I used to love, so today I pulled out my London cast recording of CATS. Ha!! An oldie but a goodie. I had forgotten about the Jellicle Cats and Jennyanydots and Bustopher Jones. My other favorite soundtracks, from back in the day, included:

• The Phantom of the Opera (which I had on cassette)
• A Chorus Line (ditto, a recorded copy)
• Les Miserables, of course - any theater kid must
• Guys and Dolls (THE BEST musical of all time, imho)
• Little Shop of Horrors - dream role, Audrey
• Godspell - when I'm feeling spiritually moved
• Into the Woods - dream role, Cinderella, the end makes me cry 
• Sunday in the Park with George - also makes me cry

Maybe I'll listen to a few of those this week, too. The "well-being" challenge this week on the WLC is to listen to music, 1 song a day at least, that "moves you." Pretty fun.

Day to day I typically just listen to Sirius radio in my car, and a lot of times I prefer either the Symphony channel or Spa. Calming. No lyrics to get in the way of thinking. Sometimes I put it on the Broadway channel but I don't know a lot of the more recent stuff that they play. Then, once the kids are in the car, they flip between Hits 1, The Message, and Disney (Kate) or Alt-Nation (Alex). So having music on that's completely my own, my favorites, is somewhat unusual. I haven't really used my iPhone for music, ever. Had ripped all my CDs to iTunes once, 3 computers and an iPod Nano ago. I guess it's mostly lost to that tiny hard drive now; I've thought I should try to charge up the Nano and see what's still there.

Shawn loves to buy music, and still does, although he got us a family subscription to Apple Music last year, and I like it. I just stream whatever I want to hear (like Hamilton), and don't pay anything extra for it. I can't really understand how to "do" music anymore. I know I don't own the things I stream, and I guess I'm okay with that. Shawn also got a record player this year and is getting back into vinyl, which is fun and funny.

What do you listen to?

Edit: I popped back in to say that when it wasn't musicals, what I mostly listened to in my youth (heh) was light alternative (not the real hard grungy stuff, but REM, U2, etc.), acoustic-guitar singer-songwriter types and mainstream pop, and in the '90s I listened to a lot of country. ;) Once I got married I sort-of defaulted to whatever he listened to, because he has good taste in music. Sometimes I do miss my own music, but apparently not enough to do anything about it.

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We have a weird work week with some extra extra curriculars Monday/Tuesday, plus Valentine's Day, and then Kate's birthday on Friday, but here are 2 meals I have planned anyway.

Ranch Chicken Thighs with Rice - But I'm wanting to bake this instead of cooking it entirely in a skillet.

UPDATE: Verdict on this? A good, if a little bland, weeknight meal. I don't think there was a point in marinating the chicken in Ranch dressing; we couldn't taste it at all. Would use Ranch seasoning instead next time, or add garlic and onion powder.

Spaghetti and spaghetti squash with meat sauce - I have decided I'm not a fan of zucchini noodles, but spaghetti squash works. It feels more substantial to me under sauce. With a Caesar salad and garlic toast for the bread-eaters, lucky ducks.

...and here are some recipes I've pinned lately, that I want to try. Maybe you will, too:

This marinade, I did try already, and the fam concluded it was the best pork tenderloin ever. And even though I normally don't love pork tenderloin, I enjoyed it too.

This Pollo in Potacchio is SO not me! Chicken and tomatoes just don't go together, in my mind. But I'm curious about it, and it's compliant. So it's a maybe.

I used to watch Sara Moulton ALL the time when I was a new bride, newly cooking every night. :) Happy memories. This looks pretty yummy, once I'm eating flour again: Salmon Cakes w/Corn.

My lunchbox vs. your lunchbox

Since this blog is mostly private, I feel okay sharing my honest thoughts, and after spending a weekend with 8 other moms, I'm feeling ... I don't know, weird... about What We (Collectively) Pack Our Kids for Lunch. I hope this won't offend anyone.

I think I'm a normal mom, but I know I'm more lenient about food than most moms these days. It was so apparent to me this weekend.

One mom on our trip made a big deal of telling us, "I haven't bought Pop-Tarts since Ana was BORN." She had brought 2 big boxes of them to share because we were all assigned to bring something for breakfasts in the house we rented.

P.S. I make sure we never run out of Pop Tarts at my house.

Another mom, with whom I drove tandemly (is that a word?) made her daughter choose between getting a small soda at one of our road trip stops, or having any dessert after pizza that night.

I'm not trying to be a jerk, but... it's a road trip, isn't it supposed to be fewer rules, and little treats and snacks along the way? Isn't that what makes it fun?

I was just reminded about all of this, reading another mom's post about a school lunch. She wrote, "Seeing what was offered by the school -- chicken nuggets, rice with about 2 pieces of vegetable, chocolate milk (skim, filled with additives), juice, and cookies!? Yeah, we’re going to keep packing lunch for the foreseeable future."

Look, I get it, chicken nuggets are not that healthy, and vegetables are, but... they're kids. That seems like a pretty decent lunch to me. I feel like the school is probably also trying to manage its waste, and if they give a big serving of vegetables, it might all get thrown away. (I mean, I have no idea, I've never cooked for a school.)

So, in her situation, what is she going to put in her kid's lunchbox that's so much better? Kale chips? Carrots and dip, of course, but in my house that would be Ranch dip, not beet hummus (which one mom brought to the house this weekend), because kids don't eat hummus in my experience. Lightly salted nuts/raisins? My kids turn up their noses at the very idea and would trade that for chips if they got the chance. A sandwich cut into stars on 9-grain bread? Sure, go for it, but know that the bread might get peeled off and thrown away, and now you're headed into Bento Box territory, my friend.

I do/did try to make sure my kids have fruit in their lunch if possible (I don't pack Alex's lunch anymore, he's 14). Kate is a fruit lover, so she's all for it, apple slices, grapes, clementines, berries. She'll even do carrots and Ranch once or twice a week, and she loves a good Caesar salad. But otherwise, it's a deli-meat sandwich on Whitewheat bread, chips or crackers (usually chips), 2 cookies, and a drink, which is Gatorade these days, because juice boxes and Capri Suns are too babyish and they don't like plain water. We buy "Fun Food" when we can, and it's pizza with salad, or a burger with chips, or (gasp!) a Chick Fil A sandwich with a Welch's fruit snack. I don't feel bad about it.

I don't know, Kate and I had a talk after our trip and the Pop Tarts comment. I think if you deprive your kids of ALL the yummy snacks, you're setting them up to binge on them when they're finally independent. Freshman 15, anyone? We talk a lot about moderation, and I try to include veggies with dinners most nights, but it's difficult when they only like broccoli, corn and green beans. And while we're at it, my kids eat candy, and sometimes they sneak it up to their rooms and... I don't punish them for it. Do I wish they wouldn't do that? Yeah. Do I think it's worth fussing about? Not really.

Maybe I've got it all wrong, but I guess I'm not planning to change my lunchbox ways. I think we're fine. Guess what? When Alex buys his lunch at the high school cafeteria, he chooses a side of broccoli on purpose, to make sure he gets his vegetables. I just find it interesting that so many moms want other moms to know how very healthy they are.

Review of January, Preview of February

With my new planner I am finding that I want to do monthly reviews, and I've been working on it a little bit this last week of January. Here's what I've concluded about January:

• I accomplished four of my goals: 1. Host a party at our house, 2. Make an appointment with a financial planner and move our accounts to a local branch, 3. Yoga with Adriene's 30-day Dedicate series, and 4. Invite a non-work friend to lunch. 
• As a bonus, we recovered our kitchen chairs. I didn't even speak it as a goal, but it was one, and it got done!
  
  This is a LOT more "accomplishing" than I think I typically do! I don't know if having the planner had anything to do with it, but it makes me feel good at any rate.
  
• I/we did not manage: 1. Buying a new mattress (it was supposed to be our Christmas gift to each other... now it might be our Valentine's gift? Or Anniversary (April)? LOL, we'll get it when we get it, I guess) 2. Getting the cats to a (new?) vet for a yearly checkup. Although, after reading online I'm not sure they actually need one unless they are sick or really too fat for their own good, and I don't think ours are... kinda unsure about it but I also don't recall taking our cat to the vet once a year when I was a kid, so.... maybe I'll let that one go.
• I also did not do as much prayer/meditation time as I have in the recent past (pre-December), and I'll have to work on adding that back in. My quiet mornings at my desk have been supplanted by driving Alex to school on all these cold mornings, lately, instead of him walking to the bus stop (in his HOODIE). It's fine, and I like having time with him for sure, but when I get to my office (late-ish), I feel like I need to skip the excess me-time. So come on, Spring. (I think next week we're supposed to have 70s!)

I am also noticing that the "planning" mindset has me thinking about the future so much, it's hard to be mindful of the present moment, and I would like to do better about that. Interesting.  

In February, I'm looking forward to our Girl Scout Troop's weekend trip to Savannah (today!), having a half-day off for that and for Kate's birthday the 15th, and the Big Project at work being over on the 24th. I'm anxious about Alex having a week-long break from school when the rest of us don't. Not sure how to handle those, and I feel sad that he's probably going to be bored that week. :/

Meals have not been that great, I will say. The Whole Life Challenge is a challenge in that regard. My kids/family don't want to eat butternut squash soup, salads, veggie omelets, or plain chicken breasts, I can't imagine why. I planned next week's dinners super-quickly this morning, since I'm leaving town tonight and won't get to do the grocery shopping (darn). It's a mix-up of our usuals. Tacos, pork chops and field peas, one-sheet meal with sausage and chicken sausage. Easy, but completely unoriginal. Check back next week, maybe it'll be better.

Happiness is a Birthday Party

I hope Shawn enjoyed the birthday party as much as I did, and as much as he deserved to. I think it came off beautifully, thanks to all the help I had from kids, parents, mother-in-law, and the guest of honor himself.

I will admit to a bit of pre-party stress, just wondering how in the world I would get it all done before 6:30 p.m., the published start time. However, I woke up early enough to my yoga workout for the day, and to have coffee/breakfast in relative quiet, and I used that time to Make A List, which was critical. For sure it helped my mood, to start out in a peaceful way. But man, I had everything on that list:

• Publix - pick up cake and deli tray (and other food) 10 a.m.
• call in wings order - 11 a.m.
• yoga
• make taco dip
• make tea
• decorate dining room table
• cut vegetables
• move cats' food and litter box to upstairs bathroom
• sweep hallway
• unload dishwasher
• meatballs in crock pot 3 p.m.
• buy beer, wine, Ranch dip I forgot, and pick up wings - 4 p.m. SHAWN (thank you, honey!)
• makeup/get dressed
• clean bathroom downstairs (whoops, I just realized I never actually did this one)

It was so soothing to check things off the list. Alex went with me to Publix and kept me sane ("Don't you think we need another bag of another kind of chips??" ..."uh, I think we're good, Mom.") Sweet Kate helped me with decorating - she wanted so much to HELP. So I let her write the letters on the Pinterest-y banner (bought from Party City, definitely not crafty enough to make myself!) and it turned out super cute.

 

She also sprinkled confetti on the table after I'd put out the tablecloth, and hung up little golden spiral-y streamers on the ceiling with masking tape. 

After that she kept begging me, from about 2:00 pm until 6:00, to put out the food, and I had to keep fending her off. Bread and cheese do not sit well for that long, I had to tell her. Again. 

The weather was terrible. The coworkers, many of them, were sick and texted to say they couldn't make it after all. We joked that if it was just us 7, well, we'd have a lot of taco dip and beer to enjoy and we'd change back into our comfy pants and fuzzy socks. But then people DID show up, and even brought sweet and funny gifts, and said lovely things and ate some of the food (not all, we have a LOT of food leftover), and drank wine and beer and tea and water and had side conversations and told good stories. 

All in all, I was proud of us, and glad my parents and his mom came in from out of town, and it felt special. I hope it did for him, too. This was a fun moment, and probably a good indication:

Pre-WLC dinners this week, and party planning

It's a week of "Last Suppers" for me, before the Whole Life Challenge begins again next Saturday. Then it will be no bread, no cheese, no sugar for 6 weeks.

Tonight, Monday: Lemon Butter Chicken Strips, rice and broccoli. This is a super-easy, pantry items meal. I've made it once before and the kids even liked it. If I have time I'll throw together some cornbread muffins to accompany this.

Tuesday: Cheeseburgers and potato salad. In the dead of winter, but who cares. We don't have snow like a lot of the country, but it's been cold so a "dreaming of summer/backyard" kind of dinner sounds good.

Wednesday: Lag Liv's Mexican rice with Fritos Scoops. (See? I'm really getting into this celebration of the last junk food of January.) ;)

Thursday: Mini pizzas. I have Canadian bacon and pineapple, which I'm happy to report is Kate's favorite pizza topping. She has good taste.

Friday: Shredded BBQ pork in the crock pot, served on King's Hawaiian rolls with coleslaw and chips, and possibly fruit salad. My parents are due to arrive in town that day, again, because Shawn's 50th birthday party is the following night! My MIL will also be with us, driving up from Savannah. I hope there's enough food! I think there will be.

I have more shopping to do this week. Today, plates, napkins, utensils and other fun things you can find at Party City. I've ordered a deli tray and a cake (decided against cupcakes for fear they were too girly; silly I know, but that's the deal) and the guest list is just about confirmed with 19 attendees including us. Most are from his office, which seems appropriate.

Before on the left, After on the right

In other party prep, this past weekend we recovered our kitchen chairs! They were looking tattered and gross. Happy to report it wasn't a difficult project, once we borrowed a staple gun. If you're ever thinking you could try recovering chairs, you're right. It's easy. Thank you to Shawn for doing the hard work of pulling the thick fabric tightly. I was very impressed with his DIY aplomb and his willingness to go to Joann Fabrics with me. When it was finished, Kate asked, "I guess I can't wipe my hands on them anymore?" NO, darling almost-ELEVEN-year-old, you cannot. smh. (This is the child who's being resistant to attending The Social Class (manners, etiquette, social dance for middleschoolers in our area). Sigh. But she NEEEEEEEDS The Social Class!)

I'm trying to trust that Saturday will all come together as it's meant to, and that I'll be calm and efficient. That morning, Kate has a basketball game across town. Not ideal. I haven't decided if SHE will skip it, but I'm certain I will.

This Week's Wins

Something new... instead of calling out my complaints in the title, let's see if naming it positively shifts my perspective a little. (Oh, don't worry, I'll get my complaints in there, no doubt. Plenty for you to commiserate with, if that's your thing.)

1. First win of the week goes to MONDAY, because the kids went back to school, thank the good Lord. It was time. It was soooooo time. We humans thrive on routine, and my young humans were sorely lacking theirs. Naturally there are screen-time related details. I'm fully conflicted: It's our fault as parents, it's not our fault -- it's not going to kill them, it IS definitely going to kill them, or at least their developing brains -- I am top of it with rules/limits, I HAVE NO IDEA how to set and enforce limits -- he'll be fine and get into college somewhere, he DOESN'T DO ANYTHING BUT THE iPHONE and HE'LL DEFINITELY NEVER GET INTO COLLEGE!! -- et cetera. Today while driving Alex to school, he wasn't on the phone (a minor miracle). But he wasn't talking to me, either. He hardly ever starts the conversation; I always try, but it usually ends with a one-phrase answer. Is this simply because he's a teenage boy and they don't get chatty with their moms, anyway, or has his screen addiction (?!) ruined his ability to start conversations? That's my latest worry. #momlife

back to wins... 

2. Also on Monday, I went to Bed, Bath and Beyond looking for an iced tea/water server, you know the kind, big glass jugs with a spout on the front, in a little twin set? There was only one option, sadly, and it didn't have quite the perfect metal stand for my design taste, nor did it have the Pinterest-worthy chalkboard labels, but I don't have time to quibble and it was something like $29 which seemed like a good price, so I bought that sucker. I am hosting a birthday party in T-minus 9 days and every second counts.

3. Big win on Tuesday, and the accomplishment of one of my 2019 goals -- I had lunch with a friend. The official goal is to invite at least one non-work friend out to lunch each month. Tuesday I went with Jackie, a buddy from church choir, and we ate Mexican food and giggled about gossipy stuff and she told me some deep family stuff she's dealing with, which I felt privileged to know, and so. It was awesome. 

4. I got my car back from repairs. All better. Except it smells severely of new paint. I will not miss my rental car, a Chevy Cruze which was perfectly nice but it had that auto-eco-engine-off feature where the car just shuts off at stop signs or red lights. I know I could have probably cancelled that feature somehow, but I wasn't interested in reading the manual for a car I only had for a few (8) days. It was kind-of interesting, too - dead silence in the middle of a busy road - so I just experienced it. 

5. My company's president (US office only) resigned, after only 2 months on the job. Hahahahahaha! Nothing new at all, happens all the time. Gave us the little shot of office drama that we feel lost without. Ugh. I mean, it's not a win, really, except I guess he wasn't the perfect fit that we (really, truly) thought he was, so in the end it's probably better this way. And it will engender MORE office drama, probably, in the hiring of a new one. Woo hoo!  

6. 9 days of yoga so far! I haven't quit the 30-day program, although today my right wrist was not having it. But that's the beauty of a home practice, as Adriene would say - I can do (or not do) what I want and no one can even see me! Stupid aches and pains. 

7. Sunshine! After weeks upon weeks of grey, misty weather - which I enjoy, don't get me wrong - we have finally had a week of clear skies. Relief! It's nice to not feel like you're in a cocoon, or in a literal fog all day long for days on end.

Framing my memories

Surviving Midnight Mass, the first time for the kids. Singing Lo, How a Rose so well (the choir), and Christmas Communion Song, and Silent Night/Night of Silence (the best we've ever done it, I think). 

Ash and his fresh catnip, on Christmas Eve! Having to hide it immediately after taking it out of its package, AND hide their cat stockings, to prevent a potential crash of the stocking-holders in the middle of the night! Crazy kitty!

The happy feeling of seeing my sister when we arrived to pick her up at the airport.

Christmas dinner, a day after - the turkey was delicious, (cooked in the pan Ashley shared with me so generously), I remembered the cranberry jelly just in time, the dressing had red bell pepper in it, so it was bright and festive, the peppermint martinis were strong (and Jilly was honest about not liking them, which made Mom laugh).

Opening presents. Jilly spreading her books out for all of us to choose and unwrap, and the Theo chocolates. Mom stealing Dad's chocolates and not being one bit sorry about it. Mom's Librarian Super Hero that she read us the entire description of, haha! Kate's gift to Jilly: a YETI tumbler, and Jilly not having one (can't believe that)! Jilly really liking the triathlon necklace Shawn got her.

Shawn squeezing fresh juice from Dad's 3 bags (!) of tangerines using the old Jack Lalanne juicer.

Playing Exploding Kittens and Carcassone at the dining room table. Alex wearing the cone of shame. ;)

Making gumbo all together... then not eating it, and going to Macaroni Grill that night (we ate the gumbo the next night, of course)!

Oh, my goodness, the BEST memory: Playing piano duets with Jilly and laughing our heads off when we messed up so much! Clap, Clap, Clap, Clap while Changing Places. ALSO: Kate joining in to play Skip To My Lou! She did great!

The stupid Aquarium crowds. Ugh!! But at least the dolphin show was amazing enough to make me cry, and the OK Cafe lunch afterwards was delicious and very Southern.

Cherries Jubilee, our family tradition. 

Lots of bad football (none of our teams won) and The Incredible Dr. Pol on TV. ha!

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I write all of this out because I have been focused somewhat on the spaces in between these fun things. I'm not sure why - the responsibility of being the hostess, maybe, or all the dang rain bringing me down! But these things were perfectly lovely and sweet. Treasures.

My goodness, what a happy New Year

Well!

The holidays were a veritable BLINK, weren't they?? I'm sitting here, back at work for reals, on Jan 2nd, and it's all over already!

Thankfully, the days didn't seem to go by quickly when they were happening, just now in retrospect. Mom and Dad arrived on Friday the 21st and are still here (leaving tomorrow, sad face). Jilly arrived on the 26th and left on the 30th; the kids had a dentist appointment this morning and start back with piano lessons tonight, and I suppose it will be good to return to some kind of normal routine soon.

The highlights:

• FOOD: I did, miraculously, have enough energy for hosting and cooking and all, thanks for asking. ;) Our dinner menus were good (I chose The Kitchn's mac and cheese and it was delicious). One unplanned night I made chicken enchiladas, refried beans and a small salad, just using what I had on-hand, and was very proud of that accomplishment. At this point we have nearly exhausted every food supply in the house (we are out of Gatorade, sandwich bread, milk and squeeze butter (don't judge), just to mention a few staples). But we have nearly enough ingredients to make Sloppy Joes tonight. (Thanks, Mom, for making a quick grocery run today for the onion while I'm at work, and for cooking!)
• ACTIVITIES: I was most worried about what we would DO during the break, partly because Jilly was here and 2 years ago when she came, we barely exited the house (rain). We did a little better this time (still with rain): A lunchtime visit to Atlanta's Battery, home of the new Braves' stadium and Wahlbergers, where we had lunch. An Italian dinner at Macaroni Grill that felt special. Also, an ill-fated trip to the GA Aquarium because it was packed to Stupid levels with other people trying to enjoy their days off. Ugh. I am ... not sure I'm glad we went. Glad we made the effort; will know better next time. We did enjoy the dolphin show. We also convinced Kate that Midnight Mass Christmas Eve would be fun. She conceded anyway and we only had to go once that day. Went to a lot of Masses over 2 weeks, though, including yesterday's one for the Holy Day of Obligation (which I normally skip). We have watched a lot of Aerial America, Drain the Oceans, Dr. Pol (Dad's favorite) and football. I finished Pillars of the Earth.
• GIFTS: Everything was well-received, especially Jill's great idea to wrap up all the favorite books she read in 2018 and share them, free-for-all style. Now I have about 8 new things to read, woo hoo, without even trying! She brought the Michelle Obama bio, for one thing, and Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine, which I've already started and love so far. I also got a Keurig! Fun!
• ACCIDENTS: Just one. I stupidly backed my car into Mom and Dad's, forgetting it was in the driveway on their 2nd night here. Gah. My car is in the shop this week and theirs will go as soon as they get home, and my insurance will cover the brunt of it. I was so grateful to have hit the car of someone who loves me, and not a stranger. These things happen I guess. It does make you feel real dumb, though.
• NEW YEAR'S: I feel completely inadequate for New Year's. I don't know why it seems like I should have matching plates/napkins and streamers and noisemakers, and happy board-gaming until midnight and a festive atmosphere... but that's how I feel ... and that's NOT how we generally do it. By that time, I'm usually tapped out on ideas and energy I guess. We did stay awake, all of us, and we played Dos, by the makers of Uno and watched (boring) football... and had champagne/ginger ale to toast. But otherwise I'm beating myself up a little for not making it special enough. I mean, we'd had the same plate of cookies out for a week by New Year's, we just refilled it every so often. Kinda anti-climactic. Maybe next year I need to have a special dessert, I don't know. Even yesterday, our New Year's Day dinner felt more like a regular weeknight supper although it did include lucky black-eyed peas. Oh well. Can't win 'em all. 

I'm so grateful for my parents making the trip up here. One thing I want to resolve in 2019 is to make more effort to visit THEM this year (and my MIL). 

Other things: 

• I've started Dedicate, Yoga with Adriene's 30-day January plan. Got up at 5am today to begin, and glad about it.
• The Whole Life Challenge starts on 1/19 and I'll be doing that with Mom, woo hoo for healthy habits and a food re-boot.
• I'm planning Shawn's party - the Evite goes out today! 

This is already super long so no review this year. 2018 was really good: I accomplished a lot and learned a lot, and I'm ready to bid it good-bye and start fresh. Hope you are, too! xx

Ham Revelation

I've been trying to think about our menus for this Holiday Week since I'm hosting and having guests. I mean, FAMILY guests, and ones who want us to all relax and not feel stressed, but still... I have a built-in desire to impress even my own Mom and Dad (especially them), and to create happy memories of Christmas in the hearts of my children and husband. And include all the correct holiday traditions but not overdose on them, you know? And have it feel somewhat fancy and special, but not overly dramatic... so... no pressure.

:)

One thing that bugs me about having a "tradition" of serving a holiday meal to many, many guests -- because that was always my own family's tradition, both in Texas and in Florida -- is that at my own house we never have many, many guests. Serving a turkey AND a ham are truly overkill for a table of 6, two of whom are small-appetited kids. My solution to this:

Ham on Christmas Eve. Turkey/dressing on Christmas Day. BOOM.

Here's how I think this weekend is going to go.

Friday Dinner -- (21st, the day Mom and Dad arrive) -- Happy Hour, appetizers for dinner. Meaning: Cheeses and Crackers, maybe Smoked Salmon, and maybe some veggies. There's a neighborhood dessert party that I both want and don't want to attend, but will plan on attending (Shawn rightly said, "We have to go to these things, so that we continue to get invited to them." True.) Even though it's a Friday night after a LONG week and before a very busy long weekend. Anyway. We'll go for an hour-ish. I plan to take my Granny's Sand Tarts as my dessert contribution.

Saturday Dinner -- Undecided but my only two tasks for Saturday are 1) Pick up the Honey Baked Ham I pre-ordered, and 2) Get the rest of the Groceries for Christmas Eve/Day. The rest of the day I want to lay around reading and/or wrap the last of the gifts, and I hope that is OK with my family. Let's just assume we're going to order Chinese food and we'll see what happens. ;)

Sunday Dinner -- never mind, I don't know this yet. (Nor any breakfasts or lunches, you might have noticed.)

MONDAY Christmas Eve Dinner -- Honey Baked Ham! Homemade Mac and Cheese -- I may do two versions, one "regular" one that has become a weeknight standard (just milk, butter, salt, and sliced American cheese), and one fancy one, like this from The Kitchn, or maybe this one. I kinda want to do green bean casserole too....too much creamy rich food? Maybe too much. And a light (!) green salad because we must, for our health's sake.

Probably will have a cookie plate for dessert, with coffee so we can make it to Midnight Mass!

(Oh yes, I want to drag my family to Midnight Mass this year. I already have complaints so we will see what happens. I am ... not very hopeful, although I have to be there to sing. After eating loads of cheese. Awesome.)

Tuesday Christmas Morning Breakfast -- My tradition is to make crepes after all the presents have been opened. Usually I serve it with fruit salad, probably also leftover ham, and sometimes with Christmas punch.

Tuesday Christmas Dinner -- (presumably after eating a big breakfast, we won't need lunch) -- Turkey and Dressing, mashed potatoes and gravy, Caesar salad, roasted broccoli/sweet potatoes. I think...? I don't know if it's fancy enough. I know. We'll serve Wine!

- Should we fry the turkey or roast it? (Fry it! Yum. Is that possible? Can I get enough peanut oil at Publix?)
- Should we postpone this dinner until Wednesday, actually, after my sister arrives?

I am clearly planning to have tons of energy for all this cooking! Hopefully some of it can be made ahead... and I know I will have help, if only I can ask for/accept it. Hard to do in my own kitchen, but it's more festive if we're ALL IN THIS TOGETHER!

I love you, Mom and Dad, Kids and Sister and especially Husband! Forgive me in advance for my mood over those four days (just in case).

TGIF for the holidays

It's not really a stressful week unless I complain about it on my blog, so here goes: It's been A Week.

• One of the main reasons that this week finally got to me, yesterday (a Thursday), is that of course, I let any notion of exercise completely drop. First. The first thing I do is stop doing 10 minutes of exercise and 10 minutes of stretching. If I'm going to feel stressy, I am going to Go For The Gold of stressy and not even help myself. Duh.
• It hasn't been THAT much worse than our regular weeks, honestly. The kids have had after-school activities on T/W/Th of every week this semester. This week we added in an Alex band rehearsal Monday afternoon (requiring pickup), basketball team photos Tuesday at 5, concert Tuesday night, a holiday dinner for my office last night, and Kate's Christmas program tonight. Okay, well, maybe that is a lot of additional stuff. But we managed it fine, really, swapping pick-ups and drop-offs and what-not. I don't know why it felt so HEAVY. It just all happened in the same week, that's what.
• The weather's been crappy, that's another thing. When it is below 30 degrees, I don't feel right making Alex walk to the bus stop, call me crazy. (I WOULD, if the kid would WEAR HIS COAT, but he won't.) And it isn't a huge deal to drop him off at school, but it does push back my work-arrival time a little, which makes me eeeeek. I don't know why, no one cares but me.
• There's been a bit of hurried Christmas-gift-getting at the lunch-hours when I can get out, and the traffic on the street between my suburban office building and the shopping area is Stupid Traffic. I have been able to get most of what I need -- haha, "need", so that the kids have 8 gifts each from Mr. Claus and a few from "us" (does Kate still actually believe or not? The world may never know) -- and also to the UPS store twice, to ship packages to the family we won't see this year. I love the UPS store for how easy they make it, by packing AND shipping, but they do charge an arm and a leg, sheesh. 
• Work. I do actually have a lot of work to do right now, and it's the very definition of soul-sucking: I'm rewriting old website articles and basically keyword-stuffing them. It makes me sad to produce such ugly prose but I am being directed to by one of the 7 agencies that our boss has contracted with, to tell us everything we do wrong. Basically. Anyway, the days are FULL with trying to get all those articles re-worked before our Dec. 14 deadline. Oh, hello, it is today.
• At least I skipped choir this week. Did myself one favor. 
• I also made Kate skip singing in the children's choir at all this year, because I couldn't fathom how to fit it into the schedule. She told me the other day that her choir-friends have solos for Christmas. (And she doesn't.) So now I feel really bad about that, when I was just trying to practice SELF-CARE.

Oh well. It's nearly over. I'm ready for a reset with 8 days off in a row. I can think about holiday menus next week maybe! :)

For S., and because it's different this time, for once

This week's dinner rotation:

Sunday: Chicken Bacon Ranch Pasta (I like to call this "chicken spaghetti" instead, because the other recipe commonly known as "chicken spaghetti," to me, is actually "chicken tetrazini.") I used angel hair because that's what we had on hand. Served with green beans and everyone loved it.

Monday: Oven-Fried Chicken Cutlets, roasted sweet potatoes and broccoli. Yes, I know it's chicken two nights in a row, but I'm not sorry. Chicken is still Alex's "favorite food;" not prepared a certain way, just... chicken. (I don't get it.) I can't find the recipe online but it's simple: you mix 1 tbsp Dijon mustard, 1/3 cup melted butter, S&P and garlic powder in one shallow bowl, then crushed up Ritz crackers + 1/2 c. grated parmesan in the other. Dredge thin chicken cutlets in one, then the other, and bake at 400* for 25 minutes. So good! 

Tuesday: Planning on a silly little Tater Tots casserole that seems like it comes straight from the '70s. I'll pair it with a spinach salad to make us feel better about our choices. 

Wednesday: It's gonna be make-your-own mini pizzas, I believe. Yummy! Pizza is good any day.

Thursday: (I can't for the life of me remember what I wrote down for Thursday.) Oh wait, it was regular chili. Because it's cold outside! This is a staple for us year-round, though -- we serve it over rice, with Saltines usually. Possibly cornbread this week. I didn't grow up eating chili regularly, but DH did and it's his favorite. We make it very simply with a McCormick's seasoning packet, 2 cans tomato sauce, 1 can kidney beans, and a pound of ground beef/turkey. 

Friday is a perfect day/night for tomato soup and grilled cheese and I can't wait for that.

Pretty soon it's going to be time to plan all the Christmas menus...meals to serve house guests! Yay!

Just Say No to Meetings (Yes to Parties)

There is a sales meeting happening in my company this week and for the first time in a really long time, I am NOT attending! Woot! I have so much work to do here. I am not in sales, but marketing does indeed crossover with sales, so typically I am required to go, when it is held here in our U.S. headquarters city. However, this year they decided to travel to Orlando, and to keep the office staff travelers to a minimum, and that is FINE by ME. 

I also just declined a January meeting of the global marketing team, which will be held in Germany. WHY would I do that, you ask? I mean, free trip to Germany! I'll tell you why: the meeting is scheduled for the day of my Dear Husband's 50th birthday. And I am a loving wife. (It also happens to be a company holiday and who wants to work on a free day off??)

It's not that Shawn cares, actually -- he's told me several times that "it's just another day." But I care. Last time I went to Germany, I left town on Alex's birthday -- what is it with this company and my family's special days?! I hated leaving that day (although I feel like we might have had cake the night before, and he opened presents that morning before I left), but husband's 50th, I mean... that's a significant milestone. A few years back, he planned a very sweet surprise 40th birthday party for me, and I want to plan a party for him this year. I haven't done that since he turned 35 (!), because kids. Yes, we always celebrate adult birthdays as a family, but I'm setting a goal this year to host more dinners at our house anyway, so this is going to be the first one of Q1, 2019. 

Does Shawn even want a party? He says he doesn't need one, but if it were me, I think I'd want someone to have a to-do for me on my 50th. And besides, I know he ENJOYS a good party, if it isn't too much trouble to get there (check) and he has people to talk to (check, it will only be people he likes)! So I say it's a go.

I'm thinking about the Saturday before his Monday birthday, maybe late afternoon until ? -- and an all-appetizers, all-party-foods kind of menu. I'm very excited about that, and one of the things I've put into my new planner is a list of food ideas. Jalepeno poppers, chips and dips, wings, shrimp if I'm going "fancy." 

Here's where input would be helpful: 

• Should I do a cake, or cupcakes? Cupcakes would be infinitely easier if I could get them (make them?) fancy enough... (aaaaand I just opened another tab and clicked on Pinterest. I see a new Board in my future) 
• Should we have one special drink, or perhaps a vodka bar (his favorite spirit) with mixer options? Is that even a thing? I've seen bourbon bars, but not vodka.
• Do I have the right serving space for a vodka bar? 
• What will we do about kids? Should other people's kids be invited? Maybe not? But will their parents be offended if our kids are there? 
• I suppose I should take Christmas down before this party on Jan 19th... will we be able to manage that and clean the house?! Ha!

Well, I have a while, yet. A short while, and a busy one, with Christmas -- and guests at our house, yay! -- in the mix. Wish me luck.

Letting some thoughts flow

I probably have nothing to say but I feel like writing something, writing, writing, writing. To get it all out of my system. Get what out? I don't know. Cobwebs.

Yesterday was a really great day, for simple reasons. I:

• Had a 7:00 am global meeting -- am always allowed to do those from home -- but then it had technical difficulties so I didn't even end up attending it.
• Had a 9:15 am orthodontist appointment for Alex, so I hung out at home after the non-meeting. I rearranged one shelf in my dishes cabinet for easier access, and I petted my kittehs.
• Didn't have to do a single thing at the orthodontist, not even pay (we paid our full amount already and this was just a retainer check); I read magazines and Twitter.
• Voted! With Alex in tow, I went right after the orthodontist to the polls, waiting in line about 45 minutes with kind people, hopefully imparted to Alex the importance of his future votes, and voted without the usual internal struggle of choosing the lesser of 2 evils. 
• Put dinner in the crock pot (pork butt, for pulled pork later) and made my delicious lunch (a turkey/salami roll-up with lettuce and pepperocinis, yum).
• Finally, after essentially the entire morning off, went to the office. Half-days are the best days. :) 
• Had lots of proofreading work to do (my favorite kind - it's low-stress and high-result).
• Showed the CEO, who happens to be in town, a letter I wrote for her -- i.e., it will have her signature under it -- and she approved. Was very kind, in fact, and complimentary. And she gave me a hug. 
• Served the slow-cooked pork on slider buns with tater tots and salad. *Angels sang.*
• Watched "Manifest" with the family. It's fairly cheesy, but the kids like it. 
• Fell asleep while the election results started rolling in. 

It was nice, noticing throughout the day what a pleasant day I was having.

Today I have more proofreading to do, which will allow me to keep looking at election results most of the day since our GA races aren't fully decided yet. Plus, it's Wednesday, which is Shan and my regular lunch day. What will we eat? Mexican food? Sushi? Salads? There's so much possibility. ;) Tonight is a leftovers night at home, and then choir practice, which I want to skip but probably won't, because I'm reliable like that. We're starting Advent music, and singing Lo, How a Rose E're Blooming, one of my favorites. 

If you asked me "How are you?" today, I would say, "I can't complain," and really mean it. 

Planner planner planner! Excitement!

After reading all of SHU's careful reviews, and getting more and more curious about what setting goals would actually look like (what are ...goals?...) I have just clicked "Place Order" on a 2019 Golden Coil planner that I customized. I am so excited!

Really, what I like about SHU (Sarah Hart-Unger)'s goal-setting is the reflection afterwards. She sets yearly, monthly, quarterly (or quintile, this past year) goals, and then looks back to see how she did. Somehow she does this without judging herself as harshly as I usually do. That's why I stepped away from setting goals, years ago. I got too discouraged if they weren't met. But she's got me hoping maybe I could do it again, more gently. 

I've long used a notebook at work, for note-taking during meetings; for years, it was also my weekly to-do list. This year I switched to Outlook Tasks for work to-dos. I like it. And I think I've said that Shawn and I use shared Google calendars very successfully to plan our parenting lives -- I'll still use both of those online tools.

But I do love a paper planner. In fact, I was a Franklin-Covey user when that system was popular. I remember the actual store in Lenox Mall. Also, my Mom has forever used a desk planner/calendar and I loved it so much I used the same system in college (At-a-Glance Weekly). So this will be fun.

Maybe I'll do some planning/goal-setting during my first hour of work, when I'm typically doing stuff like that anyway. Maybe I'll carry it around with me in my purse and it will become my go-to. Maybe it will inspire me to work on improving my penmanship (one of my first Goals, actually)! (It has gotten even worse as the years have gone by. Sorry, Sister Anne-Mary. I also legitimately blame carpal tunnel.)

I think I'm also excited because it was a little gift to myself. I'm not always good at buying THINGS that are just for me. I see them as extravagances that I don't need. So this feels nice. It feels like self-care. Kindness.

Taking My Medicine

I was taking my 10-minute work-day walk just now -- gotta do it even if I'm not wearing running shoes -- and trying to encourage myself to take it every day, like medicine. What will we call it?

• malaise medicine, where malaise is just like 'asthma' so the meds are indeed necessary
• brain medicine, because a daily dose really does keep my brain from getting too squirrelly, if I'm consistent
• smile medicine, because it makes it easier to do so
• joy medicine, because I'm on a quest for joy

I suppose any of those will work. :) I forget to take it all the time, though. 

I'm feeling good today. I have a new sweater, because this past weekend, Saturday night in fact, I had uninterrupted shopping time all by myself at a department store. !!! And it was really quiet in there  because it was a Saturday night. I tried on things and bought two tops, two pairs of jeans, and a new purse I'm in love with. New purses are THE BEST. My only complaint about the trip was that I saw a mother-daughter duo in there together, showing each other cute things, and I wished my mom and I could shop together regularly. Darn me for moving to Georgia all those years ago.

Speaking of mother-daughter, shopping Not-with-Kate is also THE BEST. God bless her. I'd like to suspend shopping with her until she is a working adult and can afford her own stuff. Then, Shopping Dates, sure. Yesterday, on an errands-run to Target, she got a kick out of pushing my buttons just because. She knows I get frustrated when she stops at EVERY display and says, "Ooh, look, Mom, we NEED one of these (random useless things we do not need)!" She did it once or twice for real (she needs a new watch! (ok, fine.) She needs a new pencil case! (no she does not)) and then once or twice as a joke. Finally, I caught on. She told me later it's fun to mess with me. GIRL.  !!!

---- 

We're on Pain Watch 2018. Carpal tunnel, I believe, so it's Tingly Wrists but also Left Elbow this time. I can't turn my palms up with a straight arm, without pain. I've been on regular ibuprofin since last Thursday, and it's not helping much. Tonight begins a wrist-brace regimen while I sleep. (Remember when? Check out that baby belly and that old-school camera!) And no downward dogs. Sob! It is hard to do yoga without using your wrists/hands. Argh. Getting Old Sucks. 

----

Work has been better, I think. A big project -- our yearly magazine -- is going quite well; somehow the words have come just when I needed them to. In one instance, the article I couldn't feel inspired to write was miraculously replaced with a different article I wasn't aware was coming. Serendipity. There has been plenty of work to fill my days, so they seem to go by faster. We're not having High Drama, although that's always a possibility. And today I was informed I got a 2% raise and a year-end bonus (tiny, but still). 

All in all, a pretty good start to Halloween week. A neighborhood party to look forward to... I'm making hot-dogs in mummy-wraps (crescent dough) and I have a new witch hat to wear. I also bought the good candy (Reese's, Skittles, Airheads, Smarties, M&Ms)... You?

Things about Alex that bring me J O Y

His sweet temperament and personality. His gentleness.

When he dances or dabs after making the perfect comment.

That he's so self-reliant and responsible.

How he loves his kitties so much and just wants what's best for them.

How he handles all his allergies without much complaint.

His handsome face. He is and has always been such a good-looking kid. (I know biology makes me biased.) ;)

His ability to remember things he's studied and read. His mind. 

His quiet nature.

His desire that everyone just do the right thing, himself included.

How he's handling high school, with all its newness, as it comes. 

His loyalty to and friendship with Brandon.

That he goes at his own pace and knows his limits.

That he's stepped out of his comfort zone to try the rock climbing club, mostly because we made him pick SOMETHING, but that he chose this one, not the one we suggested. ;)

That he'll discuss good books with me. 

That I can use bad language around him now, and it doesn't phase him. (Not that I do it very much, but you know. When we watch a video and the f-bomb is dropped, it's okay.) Teens for the win.

That he's being cautious in high school, where kids are sometimes doing dangerous/questionable things like vaping and Juul pods. 

When he works really hard at a piano piece and wants to get it right.

That he's so sensitive to my feelings. 

That he is HELPFUL and if we ask for his help, he willingly gives it.

That he's frugal and wise about money.

That he'll still jump on the trampoline or shoot baskets with his sister.

He doesn't always understand her, but he tells her he loves her every night before bed. 

Things about Kate that bring me J O Y

Her hair, especially when she wears it in two little buns on the top of her head, like this morning. She is so. cute.

Her shoulder dimples.

Her beautiful face, especially when she smiles big or laughs.

Her desire to be funny (and her inability to deliver a punchline). Her "jokes."

The way she looks when she sleeps.

The way she still likes to sleep in my bed.

How fast she reads.

Cartwheels, when she was six and seven. Constant Cartwheels.

The fact that she can do both a back walkover and a front walkover (I never could!).

The fact that she wants so badly to get her back handspring.

Her beautiful singing voice.

When she sings in the shower at full volume. ;)

How grown-up she sometimes is, talking about purses or shoes or even friends -- especially how she handles friends who maybe aren't acting so grown up. Water off a duck's back... "whatever."

How she loves arts and crafts. Making things.

How sweet she is when she's with sweet friends like Olivia, Mary, and Ady Grace.

Her sense of fashion is all her own.

She wanted VANS. Black and white checkered Vans. (And the Vans sticker, this past summer.)

How she just wants the cats to LOVE HER.

That she'll try new foods and usually likes them. Someday she'll go out for sushi with me. And Thai food. And Greek.

That she is confident and strong.

Fall Fun

We had quite a big weekend here in Acworth, and I haven't blogged in nearly 2 weeks, so hello! How are you? I mean, it wasn't an epic weekend, there was just a lot of stuff to do. Thankfully, I didn't feel stressy about any of it, and I think we had some fun. At least I did. ;)

Football

On Friday night, we went to the last regular-season home football game at Alex's high school. That is, Shawn and Kate and I (and a friend of Kate's) went. Alex elected not to. He felt weird about that, and Shawn and I felt a little sad about it, but his (one) friend Anthony was sick and not going, and apparently Alex didn't want to just ... I don't know, sit with his family. ;) Teenagers. We had to talk through whether we are okay with him making his own decisions or if we need to, instead, say, "No, this is what we're doing as a family tonight," and make him go. But we didn't make him go this time. 

The game was completely lopsided in our favor (final score Home 56, Visitors 0!), but the two girls had a great time. The weather had turned cold that very day so it felt right to bring jackets and order coffee instead of Gatorade. I'm kinda hopeful there will be lots of playoff games to attend.

I had such a moment during the game, though. I happily spent many a Friday night at the football stadium when I was in high school, bopping around with ribbons in my hair, cheerleading and smiling big for the crowd and giggling about boys, and being PART of it all... and in the 3rd quarter I got wistful about it. Wondering, inside my head, where had that girl gone? And my head said back to me, "You're still her," and that's what got me going, because sometimes it doesn't feel like it, despite how good life is. Fourteen feels (and is) so long ago! My every wish came true, but those were good times, in my youth. :) Shawn said I was scaring Kate's friend, crying at a football game. That's probably true, haha. But the heart does what it does, and mine ached a little bit Friday night for the things that used to be. I laughed about it later. What in the world?! 

Photo Shoot

Saturday morning bright and early, we went over to a little park/walking trail near home, and met our friend Shelly who's a semi-professional photographer. And man, did we take some photos. It always feels weird to play "models" and have to move around, supposedly carefree and comfortable, while she clicks away. However, we endured it because I am TIRED of not having any pictures of the 4 of us. I'm bad about forgetting to take them, and the last time we did a real photo shoot was 5 years ago.  I can't wait to see how they turned out and I'm determined not to be fussy about how I personally look. I just wanted to capture us. 

Wedding Singer

I sang at a wedding at our church after the photo shoot. That's about it, I didn't know the couple at all (except I found out the groom's last name is Thrasher!) and the songs were simple hymns, nothing fancy or solo-like. It was easy, and easy money. I wish there were more weddings at our church so I could really call it a helpful side-gig!

Sunday Mall Trip

Kate doesn't believe it's a weekend (or a break or vacation day) unless she's gone shopping. So on Sunday, she and I went to the mall. I've come to accept it. She's learning to ask nicely and it's more fun when I just say "yes" if I can. Yes to going, Yes to buying her a $35 pair of shoes, Yes to a new phone case (for me) that she wanted to choose because it says, "Pumpkin Spice and Everything Nice." Why not. We change our phone cases now for the different seasons, apparently.

We were semi-accosted by a man selling facial cream. He asked us our names, used them too frequently, starting putting lotion on our hands (and my puffy eyes) without permission, and complimenting me about how young my skin looked -- I had made the mistake of not wearing any makeup, not even to the mall! I am that many years old -- and basically he sold me some snake-oil in the end. Kate was disgusted that I let him talk me into it. (Kate, who will buy anything you put in front of her!) And I felt guilty about it for an hour or so, but the truth is, I've been wanting to "up my game" in the care of my face, and have no idea how to do that, so it's fine. I got an exfoliating gel and a lotion that does actually smell nice. 

And then we rinsed the 'bad taste' of yucky salesman out of our mouths by going to Bath and Body Works and smelling all their fall candles.

Capped it off with an evening LifeTeen Mass and dinner at Panera while Alex attended his confirmation class, and I'll call it a great weekend. I didn't get to lay on the couch and read as much as I would have liked, but I think this was probably better.

Menus!

A chicken pot pie from last week turned out amazing, I thought. Shawn said, 'More chicken, fewer vegetables, please,' but to me it was perfect. This week:

M - Creamy tomato pasta w/broccoli

T - Oven-baked hamburgers, veggies and ranch, baked beans, BBQ chips

W - Burrito Bowls

Th - Meatballs in sauce, Pumpkin-Corn Chowder

F - I'm going to Book Club! You're On Your Own, Kids.

Happy Monday, people! Writing this has helped me enjoy mine. 

What's For Dinner? x Infinity

Been trying to plan better weekly dinner menus, with a few new recipes, the last two weeks. Now I'm reading LL's and mine pale in comparison (this is why you shouldn't compare yourself to other women) but still, I have felt pretty good about what we've been eating.

Last Week (and/or the week before):

Sunday: NEW Salmon burgers! These were delicious, I thought, including the avocado salsa. I tried to get the kids to try it. Served them with whole grain buns (trying so hard to be as food conscientious as I think I ought to be), but the family determined the bun flavor overtook the salmon a bit too much. I didn't eat one but I can believe it. I think we also had corn on the cob, and broke one of our little yellow corn handles that I've had since we got married. 

Monday: One-pan smoked sausage, potatoes, sweet potatoes and broccoli, all roasted. Actually two pans, because I made both regular and chicken-apple sausage, and a lot of potatoes. Everyone loves this meal.

Tuesday: BBQ Meatballs, with mashed potatoes (Steam and Mash!) and corn. So super easy. 

Wednesday: Teriyaki Chicken and Rice, with sugar snap peas that got overcooked and were not delicious. 

Thursday: NEW Lemon Butter Chicken, served with Uncle Ben's Wild Rice and probably green beans. I liked the chicken; it was even good as lunch leftovers with the rice, which is saying something. Usually I pack leftovers up and then end up throwing them away 1.5 weeks later.

(A few days are fuzzy in here, but I know one night I made a Pizza Ring using Crescent Roll dough, we had a Taco Tuesday at some point, and one night I made Meatloaf.)

On the menu This Week:

This past Saturday: On request, Shawn made Spaghetti and garlic knots for Kate and her sleepover buddy. I had a work event and didn't get to eat them, but I'm told the noodles didn't even stick together! Mine always do. (The sleepover buddy, however, was kind enough to tell me later that HER mom's noodles stick together, and she LIKES it that way. That kid can come back anytime.)

Sunday: Crock Pot Chicken Tortilla Soup. Easy go-to that I will enjoy the rest of this week at lunch.

Monday: Tuna Casserole! Another golden oldie. Still, I feel good about this because it's our Serving of Fish. With fruit salad (yummy, yummy).

Tuesday: Spicy Fried Chicken! Spicy for Shawn and me, only Garlicky for the kids. ;)

Wednesday: We are going out to Moe's, because Kate is spending the night out (she is off school at the end of this week). Nachos for me, I think. Yum.

Thursday: Chicken Parmesan over egg noodles, probably. I don't usually bread the chicken, but maybe I'll try this recipe this week.

P.S. Good grief, I just clicked the "menus" category and every single time I post a menu, it includes Crock Pot Chicken Tortilla Soup. I guess.... consistency? Maybe it will be the meal the kids request when they come home from college? hahaha! Oh, dear.

PTO tomorrow!

I've taken tomorrow off. For once in my life, I have a few days to burn before the end of the year. I took tomorrow in order to spend time with Alex, who's on Fall Break and has been mostly babysitting the cats, the neighbors' dog, and his PlayStation this week at home. Kate didn't have the same week off, so there was no impetus to plan a trip (and also we're not very good at that skill). But now his best friend is spending the night tonight, and they'll be busy all day tomorrow, and so. I have a day to myself, basically!

So much I want to do. First, yoga. Restarting a "31 Days of Yoga" challenge for myself. Need it. Next, coffee and the breeze on my back patio, of course. Must-do. THEN:

• Maybe Target. I have a list, including a PSL and some fun, new Fall decor. I think I even have gift cards to spend!
• Lunch with my buddy, Alvin (former choir director)
• Reading The Invention of Wings
• Cleaning/Organizing/Decorating for Fall (don't wanna, but want it done and should use my time wisely)
• Picking up Kate in carpool, I guess (don't wanna, again, but she'll expect it)

Can't remember the last time I had a day off, just because. 

This One's About the J-o-b

I never did write about my trip to London from August. Feels so long ago now! It was hard to go, but/and I got through it -- that's important to remember. We can do hard things, as Glennon says.

There were many wonderful things about the trip, but first in my mind is this: the hotel-room portions of my days, after hours, after big dinners with drinks, paid for by someone else, were like a mini retreat. THAT is what I was grateful for. I spent from about 8:00 pm to 11:00 pm every night (because I wasn't sleepy for time zone reasons) journaling, reading, doing long yoga videos (I took my mat overseas!), praying, and then FaceTiming the family, because we live in the future. Treating that hotel time so carefully, not turning on the news if I could help it, being quiet and calm, helped me get through the working part of the trip, which was Less Fun.

On the outside of the hotel room I also got to see a lot of the sights, thanks to my friend and co-worker, Miranda, who toured me around generously. We walked and we walked. In her small town of Winchester, we saw the massive Cathedral, ate fish and chips and vinegar, and then met her friend for afternoon tea. It was so lovely! Cream tea! The English ladies said the scones weren't that great, but I didn't know any better and thought they were delish. ;) I learned the difference between Cornish and Devon cream tea. I'm a Devon devotee, myself. I had to be schooled about what whipped double cream actually is, though -- it's not just sweet butter.

Clearly, it was the most adorable and fun afternoon I had there.

In London the next day, we tried to squeeze in a peek at every tourist site we could -- starting with Buckingham Palace, Trafalgar Square, Hyde Park, then Kensington Palace and Gardens, then over to the river bank where we glimpsed the Eye, and for some reason tried to walk all the way to get a pic of the London Tower and Bridge. We didn't quite get far enough -- it's a very long walk -- and by that point I was wrecked, physically, so we had a milkshake and made our way back, by train, to Winchester for the evening.

Also lovely -- the King's Head Inn in Winchester. Full English Breakfast was part of the service and I enjoyed it both mornings I was lucky enough to wake up there in the country. (English countryside, achievement unlocked!) Baked beans and black pudding and all. The 2nd day, I had about 2 hours to kill after check-out, so I happily sat outside on the "patio" (just a table in front of the hotel) reading a work-related magazine and chatting, through an open window, with the innkeeper. I mean. Wow.

The working was work, but the days went by quickly enough. We drove to Windsor Castle (the town surrounding the actual castle) for dinner one evening. It was like New Orleans, tacky and touristy, but I loved it. Ate a fantastic Thai green curry and drank 2 fruity prosecco drinks that night, so it couldn't have been bad!

One last note is that I got teary walking down the jetway onto my return flight. Who knew! London charmed me, and I knew that I may not ever get to go back (though I hope I will). Feelings are so weird -- didn't want to go AT ALL, then felt sad when it was over.

Today, as I sit remembering it, I'm grateful grateful grateful for the experience. I'm home in my comfortable routine, but today, disliking what's in front of me this week. Work, right? Sigh. There are so many projects and a few challenging people to have to work with. Earlier this morning I had a small crisis of, "I just really don't want to DO THIS anymore." Some days are like that, in any job I guess. Other days you're in London. I'm doing my level best to TRUST that I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be, for reasons unknown to me. To just get on with it. Do my best.

Good old Monday.

Heart Emojis

"Rock Climbing Club," says Alex, along with another important sentence: "My friend Brady is in it."

A friend I do not know.

A NEW FRIEND. 

= all the heart emojis! 

This makes me happy. Alex has done a little rock climbing at his summer camp over the years, both indoor and outdoor, so I'm also glad he knows the basics before he starts. I'm sure that gives him a little confidence going in, too. They climb indoors every other Saturday and meet some Friday mornings at school -- and they also do service projects together. 

And now I can relax. My job here is done. ;)

I can't tell you how relieved I am.

.....

I had a full day at work yesterday, meetings from 9 until 4, seriously, and then a mental crisis when I thought I had lost my debit card. Again. (Left it in a restaurant 2 years ago.) The worst part of losing it was that, not 1 week before, we had taken Alex to the bank to set up HIS first debit card, with all the accompanying parental speeches about keeping it safe and being responsible. 

The good news is, I ... uh.... found mine in my wallet this morning. I had looked there, I swear! It was nestled between a $10 and a $5. Not its correct home, obviously, within the wallet, but oh how stupid I have felt about the entire incident. (I had even called Chick Fil A to make sure I hadn't left it with them during Tuesday's drive-thru lunch.) So embarrassing. And stressful.

.....

Small Great Things by Jodi Picoult is an excellent book. I have loved so many of her stories. 

.....

I'm trying to be a student of Joy. I know I recommended the Sacred Space app, and I do still love that one. May I also recommend this Bible plan? I don't know if you have tried the Bible app by YouVersion, but how else would we read the Bible in 2018? On our devices, that is the only way. This particular plan of daily devotions was a really good one for me. And JOY is all over the Bible -- who knew?? But now I do. :)

Activities!

It has been so nice, this first month of school, without too many extracurricular activities to attend. SO. NICE.

Children's choir, first of all, is on a year-long hiatus, and all I can say about that is YIPPIE! Forced break and I will take it.

I had talked with Kate about maybe not signing back up at her gymnastics academy ("academy") this year, because... many reasons. Long story short,

1. She didn't always have fun or want to go.
2. She left class hurt several times. Nothing serious, but still. Back hurting. Neck hurting. Doesn't seem so good.
3. Lack of progress. 

Yes, she has learned to do a back walkover and her cartwheels have certainly improved since she was 5 years old. But to pay actual money every month and not really see her gain new skills or experiences from it...? I don't know. I feel like it has stalled out.

She and I had a kid-sized discussion about it earlier this summer, and I thought she agreed with me. So when it came time to register, I just... didn't. And now she has asked to go back. Luckily I guess, there's room in the class. It's not that expensive, and if she wants to do it, I want to encourage her. But when I asked if maybe she wanted to step it up and try a different studio (she'd mentioned cheerleading/dance as possible activities, too), she declined.

Anyway, that will start up again on Thursdays.

And basketball registration was this week, and practices will begin in October. I'm okay with basketball. It's school-sponsored and I do love Team Spirit. :)

Both kids are taking piano lessons, Wednesday nights right before bedtime (7:45-8:45). I feel like Kate's heart isn't in it. I think Alex's still IS. Neither one of them practices like I think they should. But let's talk about Alex for a minute...

Just how easy do I let him take things, now that he's in high school? I don't want to be a pushy Mom, but I need him to put in a little effort and get involved in something. (Not to mention those pesky college applications, which the high school counselors already won't stop talking about.) It's not news to him; we have told him all along that he'll want/need to join at least one club, simply to meet people. Well, we're a month in, and he hasn't really even thought about it from what I can tell. He sits alone at lunch, we've learned, and has come to some peace about that. But I am NOT at peace about it! Every time I mention clubs to him, though, I feel like a nag.

Parenting teenagers isn't as easy as it looks!

I just checked a couple of club pages on his school's website. So, okay, I didn't really see anything that was too interesting. He can be a Wrestling team manager. Or a videographer for the football team. Or a Young Democrat/Republican. (No.) Bother. What can I get him jazzed about? A/V production (the school 'TV' broadcast)? Service Clubs? History Club?

He's taking the Band class, but he isn't in marching band. Not sure I WANT him in that, frankly; it's super expensive and time-intensive, although the camaraderie can't be topped, from what I understand. We'll see, I guess, where this year leads. I know he's enjoying the challenge of it, compared to middle school band.

What did you do in high school? I was a cheerleader, and was lucky that tryouts happened just before school began, so I came in with a couple of new friends immediately. Also, my school was 72% smaller than his (gigantic public) school.

Insight

I have learned: Transitions = Hard for Miss Kate. Summer to school, for instance. We had ourselves a jolly little (big) meltdown last night over America's Got Talent. She put herself to bed - just fell asleep, exhausted. (She'd already been having an emotional day, crying at school during a thunderstorm, her teacher told me. This fear does not seem to be going away.) Nothing makes you more tired than a big cry, I know from experience.

Also. My PMS time is not a good time for her meltdowns to happen, sheesh-oh-pete. I had been having an emotional day for a variety of reasons, already, yesterday, too. Alex growing up. My job not fitting my parameters of work-life balance. Etc. But it is OKAY to not feel OKAY. And just because your feelings are fueled by PMS does not mean they're made up. They're the same feelings you'd have without PMS, only magnified. They're real, and they're allowed. Positive Self Talk.

I found a daily prayer resource that I like. It's an app called Sacred Space. I've been using it for a few days now.

This morning I read John 12:24 about the grain of wheat and unless it dies, it's just a grain. But if it dies, it bears much fruit. Never really understood that one, or cared to, just accepted it. But today, thinking about it, I finally get it. I FINALLY get that you have to be bruised and broken up, like the grain is at harvest, tilled under, in order to fertilize the ground and sprout and live. So all the intense arguments, the difficult relationships, the little sadnesses, the hardest burdens to bear - those are what give us life.

I'm not sure I am grateful for that fact -- like, still, why? Why does it have to be hard? -- but I see it now. I can accept it as true. 

I AM grateful for this time of insight and happy spiritual awareness lately. Possibly has to do with connecting in prayer more often (duh), but it's been good for my soul. Let the kids tell you about how I cried at Mass last Sunday! Woo, that was a doozy. From all my worry about Alex's first week of high school, all the crying out to Jesus that I did that week in prayer -- then to hear some really powerful music just broke me open. It was good, and right and cleansing and I needed it. They were properly confused by it... and when they kinda made fun of me, talking/asking about it, I got embarrassed and a little mad. So much crazy emotion. Gah.

Anyway. This is all over the place. Happy Friday. I'm so glad it's the weekend, and grateful for my life with all its grains of wheat.

World Traveler Goes To... London!

Up next is a trip to London for the world traveling working mom, me.

It's a weird arrangement that my job description, currently, is "50% Global marketing, and 50% U.S. marketing." Weird because that looks fine on paper, but how is a person supposed to equally divide her time? At first, I tried working on my Global tasks in the mornings (when the Europeans were also in the office) and saving my U.S. tasks for the afternoons. It kind-of works, unless you're a person who checks email first thing in the morning, because whatever seems most pressing is what gets attention using that system. Hint: I check email first. So I'm out of the Global Mornings habit -- in fact, I feel so far removed from the Global team that it's real hard to care at all about it.

But aside from the work aspect of it -- the trip is for a series of meetings about global content -- I'm going to London! And Winchester, south of London, where my colleague lives. It cost half as much to travel on a Friday night versus a Monday (the meetings start Tuesday), so I get to spend the weekend being a tourist. And when I look at the maps and the adorable hotel I'm staying at, I do start to feel excited about this trip. Praise God, they literally speak my language in England, and that alone makes it less daunting than Germany. My friend will pick me up at the airport, another bonus (and so kind of her), and she has planned out an entire itinerary for us, first in Winchester, home of the Jane Austen House Museum (!!) and then a big day in London seeing as many sights as I can see. :)

Some things to figure out:

• Where to park at the airport - I hate airport parking.
• Is it better to exchange money for cash, or for a Travelex card? At the bank or online? Or at the airport?
• What kind of shoes do I want for walking ALLLL over London? Do I want my old-ish out of style ones that I know are comfy-ish, or new ones? I think new, but, is that risky? Ouchy feet would not be fun.

It should be a good trip. My boss' boss, who called the meeting, said that "A lot of tasks will probably be created at this meeting, so it will be good if you are there." Ugggh. That takes a little of the fun out of it, haha, but I try to remember in these cases that the tasks don't have to be completed at the meeting -- it's just a first discussion of the tasks.

Anyway, I leave Aug 17 and will be gone nearly a week. (!) That's a long time.

Update: Not good. Then, better.

Wednesday dawned and we sent the boy off to high school, just as planned. It was raining. It has been raining for what feels like a month (really, 3 or 4 days), but I was incredulous -- come on, his First Day walking to the bus stop? That's just crappy.

Anyway, for all my nerves, he took an umbrella, found the bus, made it to school, (he texted me) and to his homeroom classroom, and things were off to a roaring good start. (Ok, honey, have a great day!!!) I worked from home a little, went to the office for 2 meetings and lunch with the girls, then came home to be there when he arrived home. My level of focus was extremely low all day, I'll admit.

I spent a lot of time on the Life360 app, following the bus. It's your basic "stalker" parenting app -- you can set up a "circle" or family members, and then you'll know where they are at all times, and what percentage their phone's battery has left (I guess if a kid's battery is low you can remind him to charge it, in case of emergency?) ... it feels slightly invasive, but also comforting. Naturally, on the first day, with rain, and construction going on at our particular school, buses were running really late. He didn't get home until an hour past when he should have. But that was okay, I understood it logically. It's the first day, there are kinks to work out. (So many parents online complaining! I laughed - really, people? Common sense says it's going to be rough on the first day.)

He came in the front door and graciously handled all of my questions (I tried to hold back), then went upstairs to start his homework. I was so relieved that the transportation logistics had worked out. That was one of my biggest fears/unknowns. Like I said, some glitches, but it was fine. (And even better the 2nd day.) Thankfully there was another kid waiting at the stop, so that helped Alex know he was in the right place.

Only later did we come to understand that things had been sad and lonely most of his day. He bent his head and had a little emotional breakdown under my chin. It is so, so hard to feel alone and unseen. He knows exactly 5 people in a school of 2,000, and guess what? It's hard to find those 5 in the lunchroom. So he sat by himself and ate pizza that he said wasn't any good.

Such heartbreak. So many things I could've said, but didn't want to overwhelm. Just, "I know, honey, it's so hard. I'm sure it will be better tomorrow. It's okay to feel this way." (In my mind: Think of all the positives. Count the blessings. We knew it would be a little unfamiliar. This is normal. Can you read at lunch? What can I do? Don't cry. You already did the hardest part. Everyone experiences loneliness, it's part of being human. Even Jesus. [Sooooo many things I wanted to say.])

I didn't sleep well that night. He woke up reluctant to go through a day like he'd had, again, but I tried to encourage him and say that every day, it will get a little better. Faces will get familiar. You'll be having conversations with people in class, and that will carry over into the social times of day, like lunch. I knew that to be true, but I know it's hard to believe it when you're the one feeling lonely.

Praise God, he came home yesterday (Thursday) with a smile. His words: "Much better." He actually FOUND his friend Will in the cafeteria. He also had another buddy that he was sitting with, from his homeroom. There's a sophomore in his band class and on his bus, who is Alex's height (unusual) and seems to be friendly to him. He likes his classes. He ate Asian orange chicken and it was delicious. Thursday when I got home, he was working on homework at the kitchen table.

He left today (Friday) with a little spring in his step. I pray it will really feel like a nice Friday.

And this morning, the rain seems to have ended.

The day in between...

Yesterday was a big day. Orientation for Alex at his new high school. HIGH SCHOOL. How do we have a kid in high school? A fourteen-year-old? I mean, it was NOT that long ago when I was fourteen. I remember it very distinctly, remember my first few days of 9th grade, where my locker was, what the combination was (31-1-15 whyyyyyy), all my teachers, the sounds and smells of the buildings... not long ago! Hahaha. Er, 30 years is short! A blink!

Anyway, I took Alex to Orientation and the first test of our fortitude was that the parking situation was terrible. Allll those parents and students, all at once, and guess what? It's a construction year! So half the parking places aren't available. Traffic was lined up to get into the lot, and even when we did, ten minutes late already, there were no spots. I had to let Alex out (good luck, honey! you're on your own!) and go down the street to find a grassy field with some room for my car. It all worked out, I think, and we got some good information during the morning's events. There was a moment later in the day when I could tell Alex was upset. It was after he stood in line and got his yearbook photo taken. He'd been waiting for his 8th grade friend to finish, as well (one of the three people he knows at the school), and waiting a long time apparently. I could see the very beginnings of tears in his eyes, and he said he was just "tired of having no one to talk to." Sigh. It's going to be lonely for a day or three, my boy. Until you meet some people and see them for a few days, and then know them. 

I have hope that his other known friend, Will, is going to have the same lunch period. There's a pretty good chance, and if that were the case, it would once again be God's hand giving us an outright gift. (There have been a few instances of that recently - other moms offering to keep Kate on days I just didn't know what we would do, babysitter-wise, etc.) I would accept prayers and crossed fingers on the lunch topic, from anyone who reads this. xo

Today is the day in-between. I'm at the office and I do hope he's working on his World History assignment -- naturally, the one summer assignment he did NOT complete yet, is his first period class. It's due next Monday.

I've been thinking about how nervous we all were when he started Kindergarten, and how that experience led us to this one. We've "started a new school" once before, and it became home. We can do it this time, too. 

Tomorrow's Day One. He'll take the bus for the very first time, and he told me not to walk with him to wait for it. He said it kindly, don't worry, and I get it. It may rain. :( More prayers for clear skies, at least at 7:40 am and 3:55 pm. He has money on his student lunch account, so he can buy something fun (pizza! nachos! chicken tenders! all the options we did not have in parochial school, for the low, low price of $2.60!). He has an idea of where to go. Shawn and I can't help but coach him; we both keep saying "just do..." and "just remember," and I'm sure it's driving him crazy. But here we are. 

Inside My Mind on a Quiet Sunday

I got myself into a little mental spiral yesterday, after leaving the kiddos at Susan's (MIL) for the week, and having 4+ hours of quiet time in the car trip back home. Here are a few of the things I was mulling over (and over and over and over):

1. When will it be our TURN, to live a more relaxing life? I don't mean winning the lottery  necessarily, or living a life of luxury. Because, as Shawn and I discussed last night, that would only lead to a different set of stresses. And we have a good life already. What I mean is, when will we be able to have a daily round that has more EASE? I feel like this summer has turned out to be very busy and slightly stressful day to day, after a school year which was also busy and stressful. I'd like to have the opportunity to just BE sometimes, and not always DO. To not have a tasks list. I'm grateful for this good life, but, you know?? Do we have to wait until we're retired? That doesn't seem fair.

1a. Am I allowing too many extracurriculars? Would cutting those back help me feel better? I have an opportunity to do so, here with a choir director leaving (again). Perhaps that's the first thing that should go - my choir commitment. And possibly Kate's. That's at least 2 nights of more ease, plus Sundays, so...probably. Yes.

2. Are we providing a good life for our kids? Is this life, which feels stressful to me, also stressful to them? Have they had a good, or a stressful, summer? (If it's been stressful for Alex, I can at least lay some of the blame on high school. He has an unreal list of summer homework and I'm mad about it.) We're doing our best. Is it good enough?

2a. Has leaving them at home alone so much this summer, so we can work, been the right thing to do? Has it made them feel abandoned? Or has it, on the other hand, helped them develop the skills of independence, time management, and self confidence? Taught them the value of hard work (seeing Shawn and I work hard) (and also helping with some chores every day while we're gone - simple things like litter box duty and laundry and loading/unloading the dishwasher)?

3. Do we need to move one grandparent or the other set up here closer to us? Will we, eventually? How will we even do that? How many weekends would it take to clear out and sell Susan's house? Or would she rather stay with her friends down there? I suppose the latter. I guess I started thinking about this because being in her house is so unpleasant, unfortunately. Wouldn't it be nice to get her into a nice, new living situation, for our sakes? 

4. How can we be better at communicating with family? We need to FaceTime with grandparents (and Aunt Jane) (and what about other aunts, uncles, cousins?) more often. We should do it during dinner, once a week, pick someone and call, so we all get to talk with them. Doesn't matter that dinner is supposed to be device-free. This would be better than NOT calling. Susan gave Shawn a little dig about not visiting more than once a year, and it hurt a little. We do the best we can. It goes back to #1, we're just always so busy. Even on weekends. When we do get a 3-day weekend, gosh, sometimes we just need a fricking DAY OFF. And I feel like this is not abnormal -- that every family with kids in school has this same schedule, this same level of busy. But I/we feel bad that we DON'T visit more often. (Nor do we visit Pensacola very often. Or, ever.) And it sucks that we NEVER seem have 2 full weeks -- or even one full week -- left at the end of the calendar year, for holiday trips. Never. We carefully ration our vacation days, and still, we can't get away for holidays in December. Also, we sometimes don't want to travel during the holidays, and then we're made to feel bad about it by some people.

I guess that's enough. My brain is tired. Overall, everything is fine, of course. Exactly as it's meant to be. But I got all thinky, and these are the things that bubbled up to the surface.