History repeats itself

The lovely and articulate Arwen posted yesterday about how we love our children differently, because they are different little people, after all. The part that rang truest for me was about how we, as parents, are in a different time in our lives when each child is born, so naturally we notice and appreciate the kids' traits in different ways. (Think I could use that word one more time?? Different!)

But ON THE OTHER HAND. Wow, are all kids the same when it comes to toddler tantrums. We've been seeing KT's dark side lately -- more specifically, I've been seeing it. She doesn't seem to wind up to eleven as much for her Daddy -- and it's eerily similar to when AJ was a whiny, fit-pitching 2 (and 3 and 4) year old.

Last night, let's see, what set her off first? I wouldn't give her an M&M before dinner. Right. And then it was, "Juuuuuuuice. I wanna juice." And 30 seconds later, "NO JUICE. [hits table for emphasis]" And then the wailing and whining began in earnest, for no reason, and continued all through dinner. We took her upstairs for a serious, In Your Crib Time-Out, but even that didn't stop her. It was just one of those nights, I guess. She got mad that I took her saggy, falling off diaper completely off. I think she wanted to do it herself. She got so pissed off during her bath that we removed her, barely washed, and put her to bed with no stories.

I know it's all minor, and thanks to my being in a different place in life, I have better perspective on it than 3 years ago, when I was convinced AJ was posessed by the devil. I mean, yeah I still get worked up by it, but it doesn't drive me to tears (or hasn't yet). Aside: I nearly melt after she's had a good crying jag and gets those hiccupy, short little sniffling spells. Hhhh-hhh-hhaaaaaaa. So cute. And sad.

But my, how history repeats itself.

Sorting out what's in my head

It's not wasting time when your brain needs the relief of blogging. Getting it all out, out, OUT!

I have one hour before I leave for my lunch break. During that break I'm going home to do a little cleaning. We have weekend guests coming (KT's favorite UNC SHAAAAANE!), and I haven't been to the grocery store yet this week, plus we're getting a new roof put on the house tomorrow (insurance is paying, score!) and have to prepare somewhat tonight, plus plus. Whatever other required tasks (plenty).

Such as: KT's class is learning about toothbrushing this week, and requested that we send it a spare clean toothbrush, and a photo of her brushing her teeth. Um. If I had time to go somewhere and print photos, I wouldn't be ONE YEAR BEHIND on my own albums. I opted NOT to participate in that activity, and I'm sorry about it, but Lordy. Make a big trip to Walgreen's to print one photo?! Can't do it. (Guess we need to get a photo printer for our computer now.)

So it's crazy, as usual.

I'm trying not to freak out and continuously note how crazy it is, but to just take these things one at a time and know they are part of a full, rich, blessed life.

(...Yeah, right. You all know good and well I'm flustered a little bit.)

But I'll tell you what I've decided: Having a T-ball schedule is somewhat of an anchor -- a comfort, even. I like looking at the practice calendar, which is planned out until MAY. In my own life, I'm never "planned" that far ahead! And at least on T-ball nights, we have a Plan. I can serve a quickie dinner and have a very logical reason --no guilt-- in doing so. If it's a game, I know I'm going to be on the bleachers for 1.5 hours. There is a nice grounded feeling with that -- and it rules out having to squeeze in chores. Sorry, can't - I'm at the ballpark! If it's a practice, KT and I will play for a while while the boys go out, then I'll put her to bed. Sometimes I have five whole minutes to myself, and I'm usually pretty sure they'll bring me a dessert or a drink from Dairy Queen when they come home.

In fact, as I was typing this, I got a call from the T-ball coach and it reminded me that there's a practice tonight. I had forgotten. ?!!! What was I saying about anchored, comforted? Hahahahahaaaaa.

Life just goes so fast, sometimes. Good THING I blog it, or it would be lost forever in a memory blur.

xo Kisses! xo

My fatal mistake was making it all public

That list. It's sitting down there mocking me. Stupid, stupid me to get so ambitious out here in the open where everyone can see! Monday was a fail, right? Then Tuesday morning, I woke up at 5:00 a.m. to puke. (Oh, hello there! Got your attention didn't it?) I felt better by noon, stayed careful by having broth and Sprite for lunch. Tuesday evening, KT puked all over the couch. And then twice in her bed. The parents' gold-medal event is always Puke Patrol in the middle of the night right? We went in there like a well-trained team -- he handled the sheet-changing, I handled the kid-clean-up, wham-bam, back into bed in 10 minutes or less. Annnnnnd... Wednesday, AJ's school nurse called and DH had to pick him up. Puke again! Which is how I find myself working from home with him today. What a week.

I guess the photo albums are going to have to wait, huh?

AJ and I are going to work for a while (he's on the Mac, I'm on my work laptop, on opposite sides of the kitchen table - cute!), I hope he'll do some coloring -- he's been really into coloring this little comic book lately -- and we'll probably head to Wal-Mart for a few essentials (LYSOL WIPES) later today.

I'm just thankful it's a little stomach bug that seems to go away, and not H1N1. Since we never did get our shots.

What're you doing today?

Monday fail

I did none of the things on my list. Wait, I read a chapter of my book. Felt crappy due to a lingering -- impending? -- cold, and just went to bed early. Hoping to make the salad quick-like tonight before dinner. Sock drawer, bills, and laundry... well, thank goodness for DH doing laundry. :) Still. Gotta have goals.

Just don't sit down

Monday
check bills
make black bean salad for Tues. dinner
yoga, book

Tuesday
bath night/vacuum downstairs
organize sock drawer (yes, seriously)
laundry
yoga, book

Wednesday
vacuum upstairs
put photos in photo album (1 year behind OMG)
yoga

Thursday
more photos/laundry
yoga?
Project Runway

Friday
yoga, book

If I can keep from sitting down on the couch all week, I'll be fine.

Lent again

I'm surprised that the only previous blog post about Lent that I could find was this one. I feel like I write about it every year, but I've been combing through my categories and finding nothing. At any rate, it's our first Lent with a child who is learning what Lent is. It means we have to actually practice it, ahem.

AJ came home on Mardi Gras saying his only homework was to choose something to give up for Lent. I thought it was odd that they're still mostly teaching the "give up" theory of Lent, when all we adults hear these days is, "It's not a diet; do something MORE, don't just give up chocolate."

Well, I gave up chocolate. AJ decided he's giving up his DS, which, if any of you has a 5 year old boy, perhaps you know what a MAJOR sacrifice this actually is. And did you also know that Lent is 53 days this year? We counted. I am already impressed with him for even thinking of it. I hope it doesn't come back to bite me this Saturday with a big WHINE FEST. I gave up the chocolate because I thought it only fair for me to give up something tangible, and DIFFICULT, that he can witness. DH gave up Vault, by the way -- his first "give up" too, as a lifelong non-Catholic who is now raising Catholic kids. Bless him.

But the other thing I want to give up is Wasting Time. It's directly related to my Monday and Tuesday -- I was feeling unusually listless at work, unable to start any of my projects, flipping windows in IE with plenty to do but no place I wanted to go. I know a lot of people give up the entire Internet, or Facebook, or blogging, but I can't really go there. I have to be on FB for my job, actually, and I think it would be impossible not to check on my own peeps once in a while. However, getting sidetracked to the point of reading the same status updates twice in one day? Not acceptable. Surfing Google Reader for more than 10 minutes during the workday (eek, yes, I do this) -- no longer. Blogging to say not much at all, when I have work to be done? Won't work in this scenario. All are poor uses of my time. (I sound like my second grade teacher, Sister Anne Mary! God Bless her!)

Does it help others? Is it a spiritual exercise? Probably not. Still. I'm posting here at 9:00 pm while I watch Project Runway. I won't be able to do that every night, but I also don't want to fall asleep on the couch at 9 every night. I should go to BED if I'm sleepy. Or stand up and go get a photo album organized for 20 minutes. No time wasting! I like it. Yesterday (Ash Wed.) and today, at work, with my plan in place, I got a lot done. Hoping the momentum will continue. It might be a little thin around here until Chocolate Day Easter, but I won't completely disappear. I would be interested in hearing if you have any Lent traditions or goals.

Butternut Squash Soup could cure a lot of ill in this world

Anyone out there have a fantastic recipe for butternut squash soup? Please send it my way. I just finished a lovely bowl of it at Atlanta Bread Company, which admittedly included a hunk of sourdough bread (not a loaf bowl -- I still have SOME dieting scruples), and probably also a lot of cream and salt. But it was sweet and thick and delicious, and I need to know how to make it myself during these cold winter days.

Winter seems different this year, yes? Sooooo cold! I know a lot of the country has had it worse than us. We've had it great, actually -- all of the "pretty" and none of the "power outage/no school for days on end" nonsense. Our snow was sticky and wet, perfect for the Georgia kids to actually get to build a snowman. For two days, us parents motivated ourselves to take them outside because we knew we had to -- kids need the chance to do this, at least once in their lives. So we did it, with all the subsequent shedding of wet clothing in laundry rooms. And just like that, it's gone again. Still cold today, but the sidewalks and trees look like nothing ever happened.

I love watching the Olympics, especially when it feels outside the same way it looks on the TV. Brrrr! Bring me my blanket and a cup of cocoa (who says "cup of cocoa?") -- and turn on the Men's Half-Pipe. Oh, okay, Figure Skating (who am I kidding). I do laugh, however, at the Visa commercial -- they're giving away tickets to the Winter Games "For The Rest of Your LIFE." Ummmm.... a chance to go stand in a crowd, 30 rows back, on a snowy hillside every year? In various Arctic locales? Doesn't sound like something I'm that keen on winning. You keep those tickets, Morgan Freeman. I will take my 40-inch HD view and Bob Costas' goofy fireside interludes any day.

Quick posty before worky

So much to doooooo! So much to doooooo! I miss blogging with purpose. That is, blogging other than just to "say hi" or record events for posterity. I remember when I used to actually WRITE here.

Oh well. Blog Guilt-Free! Moving on: I woke up today with 2 things to look forward to: lunch with 2 coworkers at a Mexican place (yum), and my parents' arrival tonight (and probably dinner out, as well). Yay! They're coming for KT's birthday weekend! She's TWO! So hard to believe, but on the other hand, a lot has happened in those 2 years, and she did say this morning, "I wannna wear Pink Dress," so she must be two, because babies can't say such adorable, grown-up things. Also, I would like to go shopping nowkthanks.

We're doing pink and yellow for the family-only party, due to KT's wish for a Sponge Bob cake. Perils of having an older brother, I guess. She is super excited about her "Bir-day com-eenup."

I feel like AJ has been getting ignored by me lately. I know it isn't true, and that 2 years ago I wailed things like, "When will he EVAR learn to play by himself so I don't have to entertain him?!?" I guess that's what has happened, Thank Heavens, and I'm certain I can look forward to more loosening of those apron strings as time continues to go by. But my Mom-guilt won't let it happen without saying something: I hope I pay enough attention to him. His Dad was army-volunteered to assistant coach T-ball this year, so that's some good father-son time he'll get, at least. DH said he really loves that they can sometimes hang out and just talk "like two dudes hanging out." I melted when he said that.

I think AJ's also getting taller. Finally! I mean, he's still a tiny little dude, but he's definitely growing some.

So, happy Valentine's weekend, and Birday weekend for us, and stay warm out there!

I'm stuck on water-related posts

Last night we had a chat about travel. We don't do a lot of it, unless it involves grandparents and kids. We drive to one of their houses, or meet them in Destin or DisneyWorld -- and that has been the extent of our vacationing since 2005. I've been absolutely cool with that. Traveling costs money, and requires taking time off work, and we haven't had a lot of either one to spare.

HOWEVER! Guess what is coming up in 2011? Our tenth anniversary. Here at the office, we've been doing some promos about a cruise, and my friend is going to Sandals in Jamaica next month, and my other friend is taking a honeymoon cruise this Valentine's weekend.

It's still a long way off, but we've always thought we should "do something fancy" for our 10th. We might be willing to try a cruise, although I'm hesitant about the size of the cabins and the motion-sick-inducing ocean. So if not that, it's going to be an all-inclusive somewhere, and I already can't wait. Granted, we beach-it every summer for a week, but not just the two of us. Not where we can lay on the sand and fall asleep, and then swim over to the pool-bar and get another daquiri. And GOOD LORD, SLEEP IN. And have Brunch.

Both Tess and Jess have mentioned having PLANS to look forward to, and I'm very excited to be joining them.

I'm posting it here to force it to come true. Because certain people hold me to the things I post here. For instance, last night DH rolled up his pants legs and GOT INTO THE BATH to wash the kids' hair. And lo, they laughed. Hmph.

And the devil will drag you under...?*

Do your kids have trouble getting their hair washed? Man alive, mine do. AJ has never liked baths -- not since his very first washcloth bath in the hospital, I don't think. Not when we got him home and carefully laid him in a terrycloth-lined baby tub, with honey scented Baby Wash and adorable towels that matched his very own bathroom decor. Not as he got older and learned to splash. He has always been too concerned that his head was getting wet, or his eyes, or any part of his face.

It has finally gotten a little better for him in the last year (he's now 5 and a half), and it's partly because he's such a good big brother. He lets KT dump water on his head, actually. It mostly rolls off the front -- I guess the way his hair is cut allows for that -- and thank God, because if it gets in his face he STILL says, "GET ME A TOWEL. TOWEL, MOMMY, I NEEDATOWEL." And he means a dry one. Only a dry towel will do. He won't wipe even one drop of water with his own hands, because they're wet and I guess that doesn't make sense to him.

KT hasn't been quite that severe about her displeasure in the bath, but it seems like when it comes to the washing-hair portion of our program, she always cries. I obviously use tear-free shampoo, and I try to be so careful. I ask them to lean their heads back (using a cup to rinse the shampoo out). I put my hand at the top of their foreheads to stop any drips from entering the facial region. I attempt not to get any water in their ears. AJ requires a (dry) towel over his eyes during the rinsing, and I comply with that.

I just don't understand what is the BIG DEAL? It's warm water, right? I would think it feels nice. They're not drowning in the ocean depths. I have tried singing, being silly, letting them "practice" on a toy/doll, letting them do it themselves... anything I could think of short of getting in the tub with them, which is NOT going to happen. My Mom used to lay us on the countertop with our heads hanging over the kitchen sink. Just like being at a salon. AJ likes that, but KT, so far, freaks out at the upside-down sensation.

So I need some parental advice. I'm wayyyy too late asking about this, but I'm finally tired enough of the bathtime drama, and some of our friends with 4-year-olds report their kids taking their own SHOWERS! I can't even fathom (heh). Before *I* drown, throw me a life-raft. Help!


*One of the boat songs I sometimes sing them in the bath is "Sit Down, You're Rocking the Boat," from Guys & Dolls. It's fun, useful (Sit Down), and I happen to know all the words. "Dreamed last night I was on the boat to heaven... And the people all said sit down, sit down you're rocking the boat.... And the devil will drag you under by the sharp lapels of your checkered coat! Sitdown sitdown sitdown sitdown, sit down you're rocking the boat." Maybe it's that one line that's scaring them??

Being Carried

The food doesn't have to be gourmet. No one's wondering if you used shredded Kraft versus a fancy Brie... they're eating.

The house doesn't have to be spotless. No one's inspecting every corner of yours... they're grateful to be out of their own for a few hours.

The back door doesn't have to be wiped down. No one's looking at the door... they're looking at your face as they walk in.

The house doesn't need redecorating or renovating, even if theirs have been. No one's coming to see your interior walls or your cabinets... they're coming to see each other.

I am so blessed and honored to have known these women this long. THIRTEEN years! What an amazing thing. A "club." Almost like when we were little girls, but better. Every time, I fuss and worry that my hostessing won't be good enough, but it is always fine, always complimented.

I adore my book club friends. I hope they all know that, and I'm not just writing it because they might come read me here today (*waving* Hi, S, G, M!). I may not be their "call on the phone every week" kind of friend (although I'd like that), but these dear friendships are absolutely carrying me through my adult life. They are hugely important to me. They are, I think and pray, for life.

7 Quick Takes for Friday

I have a grand desire to sit in this text box and type, type, typetypetype... all day, even, to make up for not recording the things that have happened in the past week, but even I don't like reading marathon posts. (I find that I skim down to the bottom, read the last few paragraphs, and then skim upward... until I HAVE read the entire thing, even though I didn't want to.)

This is too long already. Here, quick takes:

1. AJ. Reading silently, by himself! He got a Magic Tree House book from the library on Tuesday, read it during Library and after-school care, and by the time I picked him up he had finished SIX chapters! I was floored. He buckled himself in and read it some more during our drive back to the house. An entire new world has just presented itself. I am so excited, and thinking about The Bobbsey Twins (one of my first beloved book series) and other favorites. Must research! Also very glad to have an alternative to the Nintendo DS, although his prowess there is fairly impressive as well. Man, it's wild as kids get older and learn things.

2. KT. Potty training begins soon, I think. No other way to say this, but she is interested in doing her business there, as well as reading "Dora's Potty Book" every night. There is a tiny light at the end of the Huggies tunnel!

3. Date night. We're going to attempt, for the 3rd or 4th time, to see Avatar in 3D IMAX tonight. It was sold out during the holidays, so I'm getting tickets today at noon for the 7 pm showing. Fingers crossed.

4. When the Internet is down, it is difficult to do one's job as a web content manager.

5. I am pretty sad for Conan. I know that seems stupid, but when he was awarded the Tonight Show after all those many years of Leno, I was so relieved. And now they're giving it right back to Leno?? Ugh. The only good thing about Leno's show is when he interviews stupid Americans on the street. Conan's funny just standing there. His beady little eyes? Weird hair? LOVE. Not to mention Andy Richter.

6. DH was the parenting star last night with a disciplinary idea. AJ was sent home with a behavior report from Art class. Who knows why, but he was "cutting erasers off the pencils" in that classroom. ?! No idea. DH suggested that we make him use his allowance to buy new pencils for the Art teacher. Rock Solid. I am going with it. To Target we go.

7. Getting philosophical here at the end, last Sunday during Mass the thing I thought about most was wanting to feel God's presence more in my daily life. Specifically, I prayed to feel "carried" by God. For some reason those were the words. I don't want to feel like I'm slogging through each day. Picking up my feet in heavy boots, plodding over wet grass and stressful tasks. I want to be carried. Perhaps that makes me weak, but aren't we supposed to be, anyway? I already know that it happens -- for instance, this week with the Internet down at the office, I had to work from home 2 days. That allowed me to do some things (like prep for DH's birthday yesterday, and get posterboard for a school project for AJ) that I wouldn't have been able to do otherwise. So I know God's carrying me -- I just want it to feel tangible. So I'm working on that.

More Quick Takes at www.conversiondiary.com. Happy Friday!

Bored? At least you're not grouchy...

I am bored AND grouchy for a variety of reasons.

• My office building has put new hand soap in the dispensers in the restroom, and it stinks. One of the things I liked a lot about this job when I first started was its nice-smelling restroom soap. I know that seems silly, but when I smell strawberries it makes me less grumpy than when I smell the industrial "eau d'employees must wash hands before returning to work." Blech.


• I have a new cube neighbor. She is a friend, but her job requires her to be on the phone all the time and it's jarring, after having 6 or 7 months of quiet. She keeps her Blackberry at the desk, so when it rings (all the time) and she has stepped away for lunch HOUR, I hear the Island Shimmy. She also, EVIDENTLY, likes Corn Nuts (see: Loud).


• I want to be on a health kick, but I'm sick of health kicks. Bor-ing. I would also like to eat pepperoni pizza at least twice a week. Easy, and not boring. I would also like a glass of wine with that because I like the taste of wine.


• I am working on this project and have lost that healthy perpsective I hoped to have about it. WHO CARES? Apparently I do. Dammit.


• The news is depressing. I wanted to talk about the Golden Globes this week. I also have a coworker from Haiti and don't feel I will ever be able to do enough for her and her family (who are safe, but have lost everything).


• Why is everyone else cheery today?


• I went to Costco and was happier for a half hour, retail therapy you know, but I still need to go to the regular store. We have Taquitos and boneless chicken breasts at home.


• I knew blogging would make me feel a bit better, but it didn't finish my work for me. Rats.

Smileflakes

What makes Southerners so crazy about snow is the rarity of actually getting it. Yes, it's a crazy associated with our inabiliy to drive and our Worrying about Bread! And Toilet Paper!

But more than that we go a little nuts because when it begins falling, the little kid in all of us comes out, and -- as I just witnessed at the shopping center and the drive-thru -- we can't help smiling at each other.

A small wonderment, to be sure.

Here's one of the "laughable" work things

I'm part of a project team at work that received this instruction in an email recently:

"I'd like to ask the teams to critically reconsider the objectives and add until you think they cover your whole subject. The following criteria might help you:
- the objective is strategic (3-4 year scope)
- the objective is not country-specific
- the objective does not contain a measure
- the objective doesn't contain an initiative
- the objectives cover the 4 perspectives (financial, customer, process, innovation)."

HA!!! Ridiculous. Belongs here.

Whereas before, an assignment like this would kind-of stress me out, I'm trying to just put it in perspective. I'll do my part, yes, but not get flustered trying to over-work or perfect it. Because who cares!?

My 2009

It's been great reading everyone's Old Year recaps and New Year's resolutions. The Sundry meme is always a good template to organize those thoughts. I did it last year. It's too long, though, so I'm skipping the stupid questions this time.

I did have the glass of wine (and a half), and as I begin this, am cozied up in the covers at 10 p.m. I rarely bring my laptop to the bedroom, but we have a new laptop now taking the main station in our kitchen/den (thank you, Santa!), so I'm thinking the iBook G4, in its old age, will serve well here for reading and writing before bedtime.

Anyway, here goes.

1. What did you do in 2009 that you’d never done before? I started a new job. I've done that before, but never with this company. Lots of the new things I did this year were related to this job (which still feels new). Other new things: Traveled with two kids and both sets of grandparents to DisneyWorld (awesome); watched my first-born start Kindergarten, bought school uniforms, made school lunches), went to T-ball games, and rocked a Magazine Drive.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? Ugh. Is it funny to talk about failure on the heatlh/fitness resolution? No....? Darn. I exercised a bit more faithfully in '09 than in '08, thanks to the new job -- they had a lunch-hour walking program when I first started -- but it fizzled. See also: Various excuses. I received a Wii Fit+ for Christmas, and DH joined a 24-hour gym, so I'm hopeful there'll be some activity in this department. But frankly, I'm sick to death of making it a "resolution," and even reading of other people making it a resolution. It just needs to be a part of daily life, something that we Do, not something that we Start and Stop doing.

DH and I also hope to organize, declutter quite a bit, and PAINT this year.

4. Did anyone close to you die? DH's paternal grandmother died right before Christmas. We weren't close to her, but the times I'd met her I thought she was a really fun lady. I regret that we never visited her with our kids before she died.

6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009? Last year I said: Muscle tone in my abs, and lower cholesterol. (Um, no.) A pain-free back. (Check!) My side of the bed to myself. (Check!) In 2010, let's see... a fresh coat of paint on the den walls. New boots. New bath towels in at least one bathroom. A chair for our kitchen desk. It's the little things. And maybe that muscle tone, too.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Making dinnertime slightly more bearable. It seems small, but has made a big difference. Dessert happens on Mondays and Fridays only, and everyone gets dessert regardless of how much they ate at dinner. We're still fighting a few dinnertime battles (don't tip your chair back, don't play with your food), but infinitely fewer than before.

9. What was your biggest failure? Unsure if I want to quantify any "biggest" failure. Let's not get so negative. I'm trying to enjoy a little wine buzz, yanno?

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? I was ill when things in my former job started going all screwy and desperate. I was injured somewhat when, during Christmas break, my neck and shoulders seized up and wouldn't relax for a week or so (was it viral or muscular? hard to tell...) And how about this, I was ill when my coworker injured herself and worked from home for 8 weeks, because she shifted a lot of her busywork to me. Rrrrr.

11. What was the best thing you bought? iPhones.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? My parents' and DH's parents'. Each set has come up to stay with AJ as we navigate the novelty of a school calendar and random days off for "teacher inservice" and "fall parent-teacher conferences." AJ's behavior, for trying something new (T-ball) and doing his very best. KT's, because she's awfully cute. ;)

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? My own, on several occasions.

14. Where did most of your money go? We had quite a bit of car repair and maintenance going on this year. Thank goodness we paid the loan off in May, or even more would have gone to the "car" column.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? DisneyWorld and staying at the Animal Kingdom Lodge. Battlestar Gallactica. iPhones.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? Happier. No, really. Last year this time I was commuting an hour each way, every day, and not enjoying the work, either. This year, 6 miles. Better work. WOOT!
b) thinner or fatter? Fricking same. Same, same, same.
c) richer or poorer? Overall, richer, I think. But not much.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of? date night

19. What do you wish you’d done less of? Spanking. I mean, we don't Spank as in, "I'm getting the belt," but what I realized, and almost put in the "biggest failure" category, is that I definitely have a tendency to WANT to spank in the heat of a fight with the kids (AJ). I know kids sometimes do need a swat on the butt, but I am never proud of it, I try to avoid it. and the realization really stopped me in my tracks. Hard to admit that here.

22. What was your favorite TV program? Even I am bored by this question. We did start watching a new one, though -- Man vs. Food on the Travel channel. Love!

24. What was the best book you read? The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society. (I also loved Twilight and New Moon, and am not afraid to admit it.)

25. What was your greatest musical discovery? Pandora.com.

26. What did you want and get? Are you still reading this?? The new job, obvs. And Starbucks gift cards for Christmas.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? Worked. And sulked because a coworker forgot. Big, 35-year-old baby.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? More time to spend helping out at AJ's school, thus allowing me to make friends there. The "insta-friends" I was hoping for haven't panned out yet. I know it's early in our career there, but if I were able to go to volunteer in the classroom, the library, etc., I'd be happier with that situation.

35. Who did you miss? Same answer as always - my Sis and MB, and I feel we've talked even less the last few months. And my parents. You know, I think a lot about why we live here instead of there, and wonder -- desperately? hopelessly? -- about who's going to take care of them as they get older, if we're not there. We're not far, but still.

36. Who was the best new person you met? Actually, our new pastor is pretty awesome. :)

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009. I am getting very tired, here. But I wanted to write about something that inspired me recently. I tried to explain it to DH and it didn't come out right. It's the thought that "I am so much more than this job." Even though I'm happy about the job change, and about having a job at all in this recession, I have to work very hard not to identify solely as "Working Mom," emphasis on "Working." But the importance of my life is not wrapped up in this job. I learned this from watching a few (sour, grouchy) new coworkers who ARE solely empowered by their jobs, and also from a recent homily on motherhood. It's not so much that my calling is to motherhood, or that people whose lives don't include children are "less than." Not at all. It's more a realization that the trappings of office work and business are so miniscule that they're almost laughable; and therefore not worth getting stressed out about. Do good work, full stop.

That's it for me on this one. Lots to do in the year twenty-ten, that's for sure. Looking forward to sharing it here!

Beginning

Stopping by... hello... I didn't write a single thing over the holidays. I had an inkling, but instead opted to fully engage in the moments. I truly enjoyed my time off from work and my wonderful family, and kept up somewhat with all of you through the magic of the iPhone.

I hope to stage a cozy meeting in my bed this evening, with a glass of nice wine (or maybe juice, I feel a sore throat coming on) and my laptop, to muse about last year, these last few weeks, and 2010.

Meanwhile, please jump over and visit my darling real-life friend, the simple minded suburbanite. Her blog is new, and fantastic. You will love her.

Three gifts, all wrapped up

Another great weekend, man. I don't know what is different this year, but Operation December-Sans-Stress is really working for me.

Oh wait, I just remembered I'm not having anyone stay at my house this year, for the first time in, let's see... three years?! Instead we're descending upon my Mom, which is probably why she's unusually anxious this year. Sorry, Mom! Transferred all of my angst down to you, I guess.

Anyway, after a late evening -- my friend, her husband, and their 6-week-old stopped by on their way to Florida last night -- I had a lovely realization: I got to spend a grateful few moments holding each of the 3 members of my family yesterday.

AJ and I had gone to Mass together in the morning, and during one part while we adults were kneeling, he cozied up in front of me and let me put my arms around him for several minutes. I was so happy to have a moment to say prayers of gratitude just for him... my little man, my firstborn.

At naptime, KT pulled her usual and wouldn't sleep in the crib in broad daylight, so I sat with her in the rocking chair for an hour or so. I snoozed, too, but just watching her sleep, feeling her little breaths, smelling her hair... I had intended to be finishing up laundry during that time, but on the other hand... no. It was perfect, and such a blessing to just be in that moment.

And then at 10:30 when it was time for bed, having the perfect someone to curl up and get warm with, thankful for each other and our happy little life. :)

Three sweet hugs to cherish, all on one day. Best gifts I'll get this year, I'm certain.

Tough one

As usual, I should be spending my time posting stories to my work websites instead of this one, but eh. It's December 18th. The mind is not jiving with work right now.

Yesterday was our hardest day of the Christmas season so far. Everything piled up to land on that particular Thursday -- KT's classroom party at daycare, for which I had signed up to bring cupcakes, and no, I didn't allow myself to simply purchase them, I wanted to BAKE and FROST and even SPRINKLE ever-so-lovingly... (perhaps stupid?) plus we had to bring a wrapped gift. So that was to start. (And also the night before until 11... cooling, then frosting.)

My day at work started immediately upon arrival, with a "brainstorming" meeting for 2 hours. A "brainstorming" meeting is appropriately named. Everyone's thoughts were thrown into the middle of the room (well, screen, it was a teleconference), and the person taking notes didn't even do so in a linear fashion -- his notes looked like one of those "tag clouds" on purpose. Argh. That set my mind spinning and I could not stop for at least a few hours afterward. I worked through lunch, tried most unsuccessfully to focus until 4:30, and then...

It was the night of AJ's very first school Christmas program. He played a cow. An adorable one if I do say so, and thank the Baby Jesus there was no sewing involved. I zoomed over to school to pick him up from after-care, grabbed KT, who'd bumped her cheek, pulled out a large clump of hair along with her barette, and stained her cute Christmas sweater-dress at the party -- with my chocolate cupcakes! We patronized a drive-thru, stopped at home to potty, costume up, and let the dog out, met DH, and off we went... to "Penance." This, I learned, is the name the parents have given, over the years, to the 2.5-hour festival of song and narration that is the Christmas program.

I've been meaning to go to Penance all Advent, so that worked out. (har)

Naturally the Kindergarteners were the last to perform.

Also, to remind you, 22-month-old kids do not sit well for 2.5 hour festivals of song and narration. Wiggle Worm! At least she was mostly quiet. We did remember the paci (don't judge, we will wean her someday) and a snack-pack of Craisins -- the silver bullet.

It was not that bad, but sadly, I barely saw AJ during his song, and I was so tired by that point I mostly didn't care. I knew he was having fun, plenty of other paparzzi -- I mean, Kindergarten parents -- got photos, and I guess we'll have several years of this ahead of us! We'll sit closer next time, perhaps. Thankfully, there was no obligatory reception afterwards!

It was a long day, but worth it for the check-box in our Family Life category Christmas pageants. Check! Part of what Christmas is all about, indeed. :)

Observations

When I left the office for my lunch hour yesterday, another girl was leaving the building, too, with her Lean Cuisine already heated, fork in one hand. Her purse was slung over one shoulder, and she was eating as she WALKED. Now that's taking it to a new level. I've been guilty many times of eating while driving, eating "on the run," but never literally. Bizarre, no?

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There seems to be an office tradition of giving a Christmas card to every co-worker. So far the ones I've received haven't even been personalized. Not even a "Dear el-e-e." Just signed at the bottom: -Yatt. (Yes, she gave me one!) I find it odd. Sort-of like passing out valentines in the 5th grade. I can't decide if I'll join in or be a rebel.

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God has a sense of humor. There's a new priest at our church, and he's... well, let's just say he's very DELIBERATE (read: slow) about every. single. thing. he. does. His Mass takes at least an hour and a half. I thought, this past week, that SURELY he wouldn't be saying the 5:30 p.m. Sunday "Life Teen" service. Surely someone as Rite and Ritual-oriented would ask not to say the electric guitars and drums "Praise" service (read: surely we wouldn't have to suffer through his slowness). WRONG-O. We've heard him now 3 weeks in a row. I'm learning patience in yet ANOTHER way.

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All the things I was going to put into this post have flitted back out of my mind. Why does that always happen? If I think of them I'll come back to edit. (You: Wowww, thannnnks.)

A girl's best friend.

I can't quite get behind the concept of "trading up," when it comes to wedding jewelry. At least, not within my age group. I do understand the basic idea -- what woman doesn't want a big, sparkly diamond, right? My aunt got a beautiful (2-carat, I think) diamond after about 25 or 30 years of marriage -- I still remember her 1-carat original and it was lovely, but her new one does have a real WOW factor. And after 30 years, she certainly deserves something that nice. But my friend Pam is now wearing a beautiful diamond and sapphire band that her husband gave her on their 10th anniversary. She doesn't wear her original anymore (I don't remember it).

Maybe I'm entirely too sentimental, but we're closing in on 9 years and I simply can't fathom turning my wedding set in, just to have a bigger, fancier, more expensive one. THIS is the ring DH picked out for me all by myself. THIS is the one he took out into the natural light, to make sure it was high enough quality. This is the one he put on my finger when he asked me to marry him. It's the one the priest blessed on our wedding day. It always was my style, and just the right size. Sparkly, noticeable, without being overdone.

What I would prefer after 10 or 20 years, I think, is a right-hand ring. Or an extra band to nestle next to my current one. Like I said, what girl doesn't want more sparkles?? I just can't imagine wanting to give up all the sweet, young history of this particular left-hand diamond. Maybe that will change and I'll get tired of it someday. But I doubt it.

---------------------------------------

At AJ's school this week, the Kindergarteners visited Santa's Secret Shop. They were asked to "budget" what they wanted to spend on each family member -- and here, let me just interject that for ME, he budgeted "Less than $1.00" while for his Dad and his uncle both, he decided on "$9.00 and up." He was talking about "Nine hundred for Daddy" so I have a feeling he does not understand the concept of money very well, despite our giving him a small allowance when we remember. Some of the room mothers helped them shop and wrapped things up with nametags. "For Grandmommy, From AJ," for instance. Well, when he got into the car after this big event, he immediately pulled my gift out of his bag. He couldn't wait for me to see it, even though I protested every way I knew how. "It isn't Christmas yet, AJ, Mommy should really wait..." Eventually, though, I couldn't force him to wait, especially when he was so excited. He assured me it was something I needed before Christmas. I was convinced it was an ornament for the tree. What else could it be, for Less than $1?! Also, it was his first solo shopping excursion and he was high with the expectation of giving. (Don't you love that? When you've picked the perfect thing and you KNOW they're going to love it?) So, HE ripped open the bag for me. to reveal what I'm now wearing on my right hand:

(It's adjustable in the back.)
And I'm not ever trading this one, either.

Small Sacred Moment

I've mentioned before that Christmas tree decorating is never as blissful as I think it should be. This year ours seemed stressful even in the planning, because we decided to do it on a weeknight (last Monday), which of course got pushed to Tuesday because of an unexpected Book Club conflict. Add two parts kids -- one who wants to hang all the ornaments right now right now, and the other who wants to just take them all down -- and it's even messier. I did my part by giving DH The Look, after he griped at AJ to not put all the ornaments on the same branch. I didn't like him adding "Grumpy Daddy" feelings to my tree-trimming. Because I am so perfect, myself, (ahem). (Sorry, DH.) It didn't devolve too badly, and we actually got the ornaments hung in under an hour.

But the perfect moment occurred afterwards, during hot chocolate and cookie-time. Since we were all seated at the table, KT assumed it meant we were about to say the blessing like we do at dinner. "Bess-eeen!" she announced. AJ laughed, and I said, "Well, I guess it would be nice to ask God to bless our Christmas..." I didn't expect us to do it, but AJ quickly put his hands together with a "God, please bless our Christmas," and another giggle.

It seemed small and silly to him, but I found a spot of joy in that request. Yes, please bless our Christmas.

Cookies!

Sugar cookies (pre-made dough), "frosted" with peanut butter or Nutella, and decorated with white choc chips, mini choc chips, pretzels and M&Ms. Kid friendly (if a mess), Mother devoured three approved.

Thanksgiving 2009 - Report

It feels too late to post a Thanksgiving report, actually, since Christmas and all its materialism and crazy-making has already begun FULL TILT. I am headed to WalMart today, in fact, desperate to shop and not be "behind." (Ridiculous!) But I have to follow-up. Can't have a prelude without a post-, you understand.

Our Thanksgiving was lovely. Really nice. We spent the day snacking on a BLT cheeseball (divine) that was placed on a plate by me but planned, created and executed fully by my MIL, who is wonderful. I just have to say that. She really is a hero. We left the sliding glass door open to the back patio most of the day -- football was on, the kids were in and out playing and enjoying the freedom of that open door, splashing in a small fountain on the porch. To me, that was idyllic. Aside... Something different about our childhoods and our kids' -- I feel like we were allowed to "do our own thing" much more than our kids are. I remember exploring the porches and yards of several grandmothers/great aunts, just us kids, during holiday gatherings. So I was thrilled that we didn't hover (too much) while the kids splashed, giggled and got their Thanksgiving outfits all wet.

Neither kid ate one bite of Thanksgiving dinner. Too full from pretzels and juice all day, I suppose. I didn't much care and let them get down from the table early. Like, almost directly after "God is good, God is great." Next year, no dice. They're going to have to learn manners one of these days.

Our dinner was Yum. I ate a lot. Two things -- no wine or drinky was ever opened/offered, not that I needed it, but it makes everything more festive IMHO. Also, no dish was especially rich or decadent with butter/sugar/garlic or whatever. I missed that aspect. But all good, classic, delicious food (and sweet tea, mmmm!) for which I was, and am, very grateful.

I had a bit of a spiritual revelation while I was there, so if you're not into spiritual revelations, here's the paragraph that you may skip -- see you down the page. I was making my way through the weekend-with-the-in-laws, not feeling bad or put-upon or annoyed, just very NORMAL but slightly WORN from being there. You know how it is. You love your family, but you don't need to be around them 24/7, am I right? The thought occured to me (in the shower, naturally) that I shouldn't be concentrating so much on how I was going to endure the weekend/family members, but instead how I should be bringing Love/Jesus to them. Actually, I thought about Jennifer from Conversion Diary, and just knew that's something she would challenge herself with. (See how blogs are doing good in this world?) But a nice little wake-up call. I tried after that, in the smallest of ways (hugs, smiles, kindness), to be more Jesus-bringing and less "me, me, this is all about me." I wish I had time to write it more eloquently. There are things that will annoy you, when you're with relatives. It is not worth being annoyed. It IS worth showing the people you're with that God exists and love is apparent. Anyway, it's something I hope I can take with me and work on more often, with more people in my life.

Just two other small updates:

-- AJ is finally able to tie his shoes, using the "rabbit ears" method. I have never liked that one, because the resulting knot isn't as strong. But I realized it makes more sense to a kid because it's the same action as the first part -- cross the two sides and loop one under. DUH. I am anxious for him to gain confidence. His teachers refuse to tie anyone's shoes after December. (<--LOVE THEM.)

-- KT is playing like a little girl. I see her feeding her Little People bites of whatever she's eating, patting her doll's back to go night-night, "talking" them, and -- the most fun -- playing with Mommy's lipstick. She puts hers on (I don't really let her, it's twisted down into the tube) and then offers, "Mommy want some?" while putting it on me. What fun!

Thanksgiving 2009 - Preview

I have to admit, I'm feeling a little left out of all the Thanksgiving stress. We're going to my in-laws' in Savannah, meaning road trip, meaning I'm not even required to bring a dish, meaning I am totally sidestepping a lot of what makes the holiday, for women. Granted, it's the hard part, but still. I don't like to miss out, especially on stressy things. (They give me a reason to blog.)

I was at Publix Sunday to just grab a few items to get us through the week before we leave town (how that turned into $85, I don't know), and I walked by the filled-to-capacity frozen turkey bin. There were couples milling about, chatting about how many pounds they need, young moms calculating how long will it take to thaw the bird... it seemed like a pretty major event right there in the poultry aisle, and I just skipped right through to the cereals.

Sort-of a bummer.

I've hosted Thanksgiving at my house exactly once, I think, when AJ was 5 months old. We held his baptism that same weekend. I'm pretty sure I was stressed about the dinner; I may have even had an emotional outburst but I don't remember (no need to chime in and remind me if I did, family). But I LOVED getting out my pretty wedding china, finding a new set of placemats and napkins, and getting to make my Grandmother's famous dressing. When we go to my in-laws' I always think I want to bring some of that dressing -- maybe make it a week ahead, freeze it, and transport it down in a cooler -- but I've not done that yet. I don't really think far enough ahead.

The set-up of my in-laws' house makes it difficult to do what I consider the important part of the holiday -- socialize and work together. Houses that are good for those things have a "flow" through the kitchen. MIL's kitchen, through no fault of her own, has one way in/out. The kitchen's like a dead-end. You can't just easily mill about, chatting and drinking wine, you know? You also can't hang out on one end of the counter and help with cutting or peeling -- or at least I can't, because the kids tend to velcro onto my pants and the kitchen is also rather small. Someone is bound to get stepped on. Oh, I don't know. I really want to make it a happy holiday, and to be the helpful daughter-in-law, and to have all of that social, warm, working-together feeling. In the past, I have felt like we spend the day just waiting around for MIL to finish cooking, already, so we can eat.

Somehow I don't remember her having appetizers. I think it'd be better if there were appetizers. Maybe I'll try to throw some easy dips together for the cooler.

(Now I can stress out like the rest of you.)

Baby log

KT is talk, talk, talking. She's 21 months and 4 days today. Here are some of her greatest hits.

'eah. She doesn't say "Yeah," just "'eah." Whereas her brother was famous for "I do." (AJ, are you hungry? --I dooooo. KT, are you hungry? ---eah.)

Bah-bye, later. All one word. --bah-bye, Keh-see, 'ater.

Come payyyyy.

owwy, Ah-ex. (sorry, Alex) Always with a leaned-in hug.

Namek. (napkin)

Cay-tiss Boh. (craisin bowl) This means she wants her Craisins in a bowl, or wants Craisins in general.

Teeeef. This kid loves to brush her teeth. Well, loves to chew on the toothbrush anyway, and fill the landfills with 17 Dixie cups a day.

Po-yee-un. (Napoleon) We're amazed that she articulates his whole name, sometimes all four syllables, so well.

Mee-mouse. If you don't know, I can't be friends with you any more. Just kidding -- Mickey!

eee-behsss. (Three bears) One of our favorite books.

ah-piddahs. (The Very Hungry Caterpillar) Our other favorite book! When she's looking for it, she calls out, Ah-piddahs? Ah-piddahs?

Shoooess. Anna. (Suzanna). Just this past weekend she met her Aunt Suzanna and I love how she says her name. Like two words.

There are many more, and she's making little sentences, too. I love this age. The explosion of language is adorable.

7 Quick Takes

1. We've not been sleeping well.

2. On a happier note, we're going on a road trip this weekend. :) Well, it's a mostly happy note -- any road trip with two little guys is a hassle, to put it mildly. But we're going to my in-laws', and tomorrow MIL is going to take care of the kids while DH and I attend the Homecoming football game at his alma mater. I'm excited about the events. Not having attended a football school -- my college doesn't even have a team -- I don't really know what to expect. His school is not one of the BIG southern football schools, but still. We're playing a big rival, I'm going to meet a friend of his that I've heard about for YEARS but never seen in the flesh, and it's a full day of "Date-Night," with no cash-only bill at the end. Pretty awesome.

3. I think I mentioned we got iPhones 2 weeks ago. We're loving them. I downloaded a Grocery List app the other day and I'm itching to use it. Did you get that? I'm itching to make a grocery list and do the grocery shopping. Weird, no? It came in handy this morning when I used the last Equal packet, but didn't have time to write it down on the pad on the fridge (still transitioning from paper). After I got out the door and into the car, however, I quickly added it on the phone before I forgot. Anyone have a favorite App that I absolutely must get? Specifically a free one?

4. I tried Raspberry Zinger tea again this morning in reference to #1, and I just am NOT a tea person. Blech.

5. Okay, this is the epitome of DUMB: All this time, I've been operating under the assumption that my key-card for my office was NOT programmed with access to the workout room on the lower level of our building. I had heard you had to request it specifically, and never did. But today I was down on that level and thought, "Hmm...." Well, guess what? The door frakking OPENED, and I DO have access! There's all the typical equipment plus an ab ball and a TV. I am so damn excited (and forehead-smacky) about this I can't even tell you. The fire stairs thing hadn't been really calling my name lately so this will be a nice option. If I use it. No promises.

6. I am loving all of your NaBloPoMo posts. Thank you for entertaining me. I'm hopeful AT&T's 3G Network will accommodate me as we drive through Georgia tonight, so I can catch up with everyone. In-between seat-jumping and DVD-changing, of course.

7. By staying focused this morning, I've crossed 4 of the 5 main things off my list (work). Plus 2 blog posts. Here's to success. Happy weekend to everyone!

...more quick takes at Jen's...

(Untitled)

So, DH's doctor confirmed he has elevated blood pressure and I've ...turned to alcohol.

Do you think it has something to do with the kids?

YOU'D BE RIGHT.

...20-month-old girl (read: TERRIBLE TWOS) and a 5-year-old boy... what idiots thought this child-spacing arrangement would work out??

It's just the constant WHINING. Both of them. And yes, KT's been fighting a cold again, so I understand she feels yucky, and I understand she doesn't see us all day while we're at work, so when we're at home she wants to be with us -- I want to be with her too -- but for the love of JACK. Mama's hip is unavailable for sitting, sweetie. You are TOO BIG. (How did you get so big?) Can we please just hold hands? I know I shouldn't wish it away but...

And AJ. Sigh. I don't want to record it all here, because I want it to fade to a distant memory that I can't recall in 20 years when he asks me. I want to say, "Oh, honey, you were a handful... but all kids are. You outgrew it." It's about respecting adults and that's all I'll say.

This morning, as I was trying to swipe my face with Bare Minerals and wipe snot off KT's cheek for the forty-seventh time, and catch the weather report (guess what? Rain), and be understanding and patient but at the same time get AJ to please not squoosh his foot into his shoe while it is still tied, they are brand-new SHOES AND THEY'LL STRETCH OUT AND BE RUINED!!!.... Well, I don't think I got that mad, but thinking about it now I'm getting flustered again... I tried to look at it from 20 years out, knowing that it WILL fade to nothing in my mind, if I don't blog it. It will.

I hate --yes, Blogger, "strong and slash strong"-- the morning hustle, have I said that? I wish we could re-tool that process mightily.

I should apologize now.

(click to enlarge)




p.s. One other problem, I can't go back to edit, "Keyboard, ho!" to something less dorky.

More about happy

For those who don't know, my job is in e-business and PR. I do a lot of writing -- some web pages and articles, mostly short press releases, magazine articles, intro paragraphs, headlines, and e-newsletters about our company and our products, and related things. Health/wellness is a frequent topic, and something I'm personally interested in (though not good about sticking to my own self!). I do some hiring of freelance writers, some photography selection, and list/database maintenance of our subscribers.

In theory, I should love my work. Sure there's that database thing, but there are always administrative things about a desk job. Mostly the job is writing, and clearly, I like to write (blog much?). I always did well in school with papers, and studied languages so I should have a good command of the English one. (Save for that last sentence.) However, the writing doesn't always come easily to me. It's not like, "Oooh, today I get to write that article for XX magazine. Yay!" No. I procrastinate and fret over it. (When I finally dig in, I'm fine.) One important note,I LOATHE doing interviews, which is pretty much required for writing well-informed news articles. I never had any intention of being a reporter, and my work does require a bit of that technique.

Tess's comment yesterday got me thinking. Of course I love some things about my particular job. My company is Good. I work close to home. They're flexible and family-friendly. It allows me my lifestyle. Plus, I get to work with photography/design. But somehow I still don't love the work I do. But I hear of people who own a business - like, say, a lovely little bakery. Or who work with animals. Or... I don't know, actors?... who really get a rush from the actual WORK they do.

I would like to have that, someday.

So it seems I should be on the lookout for a different job. Really take the plunge and FIND what it is that would make my heart sing. I even know how to explore this: I've read self-help books before. Volunteer. Take a class. Network in my off-time.

Oh the other hand: Why can't I just be happy with the status quo? Why should I have to RISK things -- security, pay level, etc. -- when I already have such an amazing life? Shouldn't I just be GRATEFUL for what I have and not focus on the small details that maybe aren't so great? I mean, life isn't guaranteed to be 100% wonderful. And work requires work, otherwise they wouldn't call it that.

I think I'm going around in circles. But parsing it out is helpful, so bear with me.

I did contemplate some things that could be personal "Resolutions," if I were going to try a Happiness Project.

1. Breathe deeply throughout the day. (being mindful, stopping the "I don't like this, I'm bored" monologue in my head for a few minutes to just Be... etc.)


2. Listen to more music. Seriously, I need to fire up the iPod MUCH more often for a mood lifter.


3. Dress well. (Dress better.) This might seem silly, but since my company is so great, we don't have to dress up in heels and hose all the time. But when I wear pants that don't fit well, or a plain t-shirt that I bought at Target 2 years ago... it does nothing for my mood. (Duh.) One reason I work is so I can afford things, and nice clothes need to be one of those things. I've dressed better the last couple of days (IMHO), and I HAVE felt better. Not to mention more professional. (Own it!)


4. Connect with people each day. Including my husband. Sometimes we're just on auto-pilot, you know? We talk, but don't really engage. At work, too -- instead of a non-committal, "Hey, how are you?" I need to put some effort into it. ASK people about their families. Don't hole up in my cubicle, counting down 'til 4:30 pm.

It's time I really work on this, and I'm going to start with these little ideas. Everybody knows if Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy. ;)

Happy

I've been thinking a lot about happiness.

For one thing, on Sunday morning DH called me out for being generally "serious." Not a bad thing, just the way I am, he said. I pouted for the rest of the day about it. See, in my mind I turned it around so that serious = "no fun," which is not what he was implying, but just the way my mind sometimes works. (We talked about it and it's fine -- Honey, I only bring it up because it fits in with the story.)

Aside from that, I've been looking at a blog called The Happiness Project, for work actually. Gretchen Rubin, the blog's author, has done a year-long study of a ton of theories about happiness. She's read books, analyzed research, etc. It's interesting. Kind-of a self-help book, which I'm sometimes drawn to, but in a more detatched way. Like, "I'm studying these self-help (hippie-dippie meditation) principles... not applying them to my life necessarily."

Now. Exactly what I do NOT NEED is another Project to tend. (Speaking of which, someone throttle me the next time I bring up the 30-Day Shred, okay? Let's just put an end to those declarations once and for all.) And in reading Start your own Happiness Project, I get all flustered and overwhelmed because there's a Toolbox and you're supposed to make resolutions, captial R. In my experience, those are sometimes a recipe for failure, and for KNOWING your own failure, because you wrote them down and then if you don't get to check them off... Doom. FAIL.

So I may or may not sign up on her site. However... I like the idea of being more mindful and aware of my level of happiness. Not meditating, per se, but pausing to breathe every so often.

I have more to say (I think) about this -- part of which is that I find myself too often unhappy, and I can't figure out why. Hormones play a part, but it's mostly about my work. Earlier this week I was lolling the words "life coach" and "career coach" around in my head, because even though I like my job okay, I don't jump out of bed excited about it. I don't even walk into the building excited. It's just a job. And They Say...Theyyyyyyyy!.... that people really exist who LOVE what they do.

I want to believe that, but I'm not sure I do. I think anything you do as work -- repetitively, every day, and specifically in order to earn money -- will sometimes feel like work, not like fun. But I could be wrong. So I want to explore it a little more. Anyone with insight? Anyone reading this who truly adores their job? Please tell me about it.

I also wanted to share this post (read the comments too) with my fellow parenting buddies. It's got some great tips and tricks.

Good morning

Jillian Michaels and I are friends again thanks to Comcast's On Demand, and yesterday I did Day One, Level One of the Shred. ....Owwwww..... My shoulders, thighs and abs are making themselves known today. I saw Kristen Chase's amazing results -- note, that is 7 months' worth of doing the DVD, not 30 days -- and maybe I got motivated. With my jaw hanging open! Does she not look amazing??? I SO want to do 30 consecutive days, but GEEZ,it's hard to fit it in -- even just 20 minutes. I know, I know, get up earlier, and after the kids go to bed... what I did yesterday, actually, was to go home at lunch and do it, which might be the best option for me, thank you Job-Six-Miles-From-House. But still, time. TIIIIIIIIME. There's never enough of it.

Anyway I'm attempting, once again, to try. Stupid ten pounds.

Today I can't get home at lunch to work out, because instead I'm going to our photo studio for a product shoot. I love that I get to say things like that. Having art and photography as part of your job is pretty cool. In fact, since I began working, that part about it has always made me smile. I'm sure I've mentioned one of my early days in my first job, toting around a big binder of 35mm slides, from which I needed to choose some images for a brochure. I couldn't believe that a job really existed where I got to choose photos, using my loupe at a big light table, and get paid for it. Funny thing, though, I've never wanted to BE a photographer. The word "aperture" scares me unnecessarily.

Recap full of gratitude

Maybe the best way to start off a Monday would be in reflection. This weekend, as I announced on Facebook, was crazy-full of activities, and as it turned out, a record-breaking COLD one. So while my face is now raw from the wind, my heart, I guess, is softened and happy...? or something?

Thursday evening I took AJ to the school's monthly skating party. THAT was a flashback in time! My school did the same thing when I was in 7th grade. So funny. He had a blast, and I chatted with some other moms, who were nice. (BFF wasn't there, so I had to make do. Heh.) At our school they pair up each Kindergartener with a "Fourth Grade Buddy." It's a rather big deal -- they sit with each other during weekly Masses -- and so I was impressed when Kyle, AJ's buddy, came and introduced his mom to me. And she couldn't have been sweeter. This school makes me get teary every other day, I swear. It's such a community. During the dance contest, when all the kids were out on the skating rink in their sock feet, doing the Macarena, and little AJ was running/sliding/whirling/shaking and generally having the time of his life, I said to myself, "Is there anything better than a moment like this? Watching 100 kids laugh and dance?" There's really not.

Work sponsored a bike race on Saturday, and the best part about it was stopping at Panera Bread afterwards and having corn chowder in a sourdough bowl. (Man, those sourdough bowls -- a treat very rarely allowed! MMM CARBY CARB GOODNESSMRFHMMMM.) We were cold since we started at 7:00 am; the race wasn't as organized as it could have been, it eventually started to rain, and... just.. that soup was awesome. I did enjoy volunteering at an aid station, it's too bad about the weather.

Later, daycare had its annual Fall Festival. It's always funny for the little ones to see their teachers all dressed up in costume. KT was so confused. She thought, too, that the best part of the day was warm liquid fortification in the form of hot chocolate. She tried the moon-walk jumpy thing, giggled once, fell down, and promptly wanted out. I don't blame her.

We went from there to our friends' home for their annual Pumpkin Carving party and bonfire, where AJ and his daddy were awarded the Grand Prize for best jack-o-lantern. The hostess told me later it was because she asked AJ how he came up with the design and he answered, "I used my brain." HAAAA! Little smart-ass! Though I don't think he intended to sound like one, he was just being honest.

He's given me lots of opportunities over the last few days to be impatient, and I, unfortunately, have delivered. FIVE IS HARD. This morning I uttered a classic Mom phrase: "That child is going to kill me... or else I'm going to kill HIM."

So patience is what I prayed for during Mass yesterday. And I was glad to report that we made it to Mass. Bundled up, and everything. The choir is sounding better, I think, with their new director, and I'm still not ready to rejoin them despite lots of waffling about it.

(Oh, speaking of waffles, I hope I won the Breakfast Basket from the Fall Festival's silent auction -- it had a waffle maker in it.)

Anyway, patience. And gratitude.

Girl crush

On the heels of that post about my dearest friend from high school (and still today!), and how much I miss her, I can report that I have a potential new friend made through AJ's school. This has been on my to-do list, because long-distance friends are wonderful, but local friends are sort-of imperative.

I say "friend," but I guess we're still really in the flirting, getting-to-know-you stage. I sat next to her briefly at the very first classroom orientation in August and was struck by her adorable haircut and put-together outfit. Hee. I was like Tina Fey's character on 30 Rock, feeling like I looked studious, but probably disheveled. She was dressed like I wished to be -- a sort-of Katie Couric to my Tina. Hee. She told me that night where she works, and I thought, "Dingdingding! Another working mom - we can relate to each other, SCORE." Maybe she will be less able, like me, to meet people by volunteering from 8-3 at the school.

So at the Kindergarten Moms' coffee 2 weeks ago, we waved and sat near each other... but not too near, both of us wanting to remain open to other friendships, and not seem stalker-y. (At least, that was what I was doing.) I nearly emailed her that day after the coffee, but hesitated.

This past weekend, finally, the school had its annual fall picnic, and (hooray!) she was one of the first faces I saw when we arrived. We introduced our husbands and followed each other around the whole day, really. (Puppy love!) I'm being silly, but really, it does seem like she's as interested in being my friend as I am in being hers. (oh, how the heart flutters!) Her daughter sits at the same table as AJ. Fate! We both work in marketing. We have a mutual friend/acquaintance, it turns out. She even cries at Disneyworld like me. (You know how it is, the MAGIC and the DREEEEEAMS and all.)

This friendship is obviously meant to be. I have to tell myself to act natural. Smile. (Not too much!) Hi, my name is...

I miss you

I remember Fridays were when we wore our short skirts to school, and put ribbons in our hair. It was great unless we had to wear the bulky sweater with the big letter safety-pinned onto the front. Or the itchy wool green skirt.

Fridays were when we got out of afternoon classes a bit early in order to stretch and get ready for the pep rallies. (We didn’t need to be in classes, anyway, we were much too smart for them.)

Fridays we sometimes just stayed at school until the games started – although I can’t remember exactly what we did for dinner... Taco Bell?

Fridays we decorated lockers and stadium corners with balloons and posters (I know this because there is yearbook evidence).

Fridays as the sun went down, we glittered and smiled and jumped high into the air. These were the days before our knees couldn’t take that kind of punishment.

Fridays we looked into the stands, or onto the field, at whatever boys we were drooling over at the time. In between cheers we watched them and hoped they turned to watch us once in a while.

Fridays we shouted at everyone to “Come on, everybody, clap your hands!”

Fridays we -- you and I -- probably walked arm in arm, grinning, gossiping. We carried our sports bags and our pom-poms with pride. Or at least that is how I want to remember it.

Some Fridays we spent the night at your house. I don’t remember spending the night at mine, but surely we did, right? Those were the best times. What is more fun than staying up late, playing with makeup, and watching movies in the dark?

Fridays. Game days. Long-ago, happy days.

From the hallowed halls of FB Notes

Can you fill this out without lying? You've been tagged, so now you need to answer all the questions HONESTLY. To do this, copy this entire message, then go to “notes” under tabs on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, delete my answers, and type yours. Easy!

Next, tag people (in the right hand corner of the app). Click publish (at the bottom). Have fun! :)

1. What was the last thing you put in your mouth?
Coffee. W/FF half n half, Splenda, and a sprinkle of cinnamon on top.

2. Where was your profile picture taken?
In my downstairs bathroom, by me.

3. Can you play Guitar Hero?
Yes! And Rock Band, too. (Am I answering this HONESTLY??? It's very important.)

4. Name someone who made you laugh today.
It's early, no one has yet. Oh wait, I was skimming Twitter and @Sundry's photo link made me laugh.

5. How late did you stay up last night and why?
11:00. But I napped from 8:30 to 9:00... ;)

6.If you could move somewhere else, would you?
Depends on where. In a heartbeat I'd go to Pensacola if good jobs were available. And lately I've been wanting to move to a new house.

7. Ever been kissed under fireworks?
Yes. New Years Eve/Day (midnight) of this new millenium (2000). :)

8. Which of your friends lives closest to you on facebook?
Other than DH (obviously), it would have to be my neighbor J.S.

9. Do you believe exes can be friends?
It depends. I am (Facebook) friends with 2 exes, and not at all with one. Luckily they all live far away.

10. How do you feel about Dr Pepper?
I feel good about it. (What?) No, I like it. Reminds me of Texas. I wish more restaurants served Diet Dr. Pepper.

11. When was the last time you cried really hard?
Hmm. I don't know.

12. Who was the last person you took a picture of?
The kids, posing with their great-uncle this past weekend.

13. Was yesterday better than today? What happened yesterday?
Today is young. Yesterday was nothing special. I met with some new employees, went out to lunch with a friend, worked, and then our T-ball game was cancelled due to wet field conditions. I was somewhat blah-feeling, for no apparent reason. I had a headache. We ate tortellini for dinner, it was Bath Night, and I did a load of laundry. Let's hope today WILL be better than that!

14. Can you live a day without TV?
Yes but I normally don't.

15. Are you upset about anything?
Not at the moment.

16. Do you think relationships are ever really worth it?
Definitely. (Hello, teenage person who wrote the questions.)

17. Are you a bad influence?
Oh yes, I lead people right down the path to hell. (Oh, sorry, that's a lie.)

18. Night out or night in?
With DH I like both - can't decide. With the girls? In. I am not one for going out clubbing. *shudder*

19. What items could you not go without during the day?
Car. Coffee. Pen.

20. Who was the last person you visited in the hospital?
Knock on wood, I rarely have to visit anyone in the hospital. I guess it would be my Mom, when she came here in 2005 and got appendicitis.

21. What does the last text message in your inbox say?
I, uh... don't really text. (Am lame!) I'm sure I have a message...

22. How do you feel about your life right now?
I'm very grateful and trying to keep that in the forefront. Honestly I feel tired. And happy in my little family. And torn about working, always.

23. Do you hate anyone?
I dislike quite a few people but I don't use the word hate.

24. If we were to look in your Facebook inbox, what would we find?
Messages.

25. Say you were given a drug test right now, would you pass?
Yes

26. Has anyone ever called you perfect before?
Yes

27. What song is stuck in your head?
Viva La Vida by Coldplay

28. Someone knocks on your window at 2:00 a.m., who do you want it to be?
I'm supposed to say, "Edward," right? In truth, I don't want anyone knocking on my window, ever. That's creepy.

29. Wanna have grandkids before you’re 50?
No. Hear me, AJ, KT? NOOoooo.

30. Name something you have to do tomorrow.
Tomorrow (Thurs) I have to send out a marketing update to my entire company.

31. Do you think too much or too little?
Too much

33. Do you smile a lot?
Not enough.

The one hour that isn't full

It's hard to write a blog post without whining about how busy I am, so that's why I've been keeping quiet. It's like, NO DUH, right? We're all busy to one extent or the other, that's what makes it A LIFE. I'm trying to remember that and be more grateful.

I just find that I'm having a hard time accepting that "busy" isn't going to change. This IS the status quo. Too many to-do's is just the right number, I guess. How come no one ever told me? I have a college degree and 12... no, 13 years of professional experience, and have been fully unprepared for this one bit of information. Unprepared for having 2 digital and 2 paper calendars that I can't seem to sync into one Master Calendar. Unprepared for squeezing in grocery-shopping (last week we made do with little more than some canned green beans and Totino's... oh, and a KFC night thrown in for variety).

But I said I wasn't going to talk about it. Ahem. Backup backup backup.

...um... what's up?

Last night I watched Desperate Housewives for the first time. I was previously unconvinced of its worth, and last night didn't exactly change my mind, except... well, there were these small moments of excellent acting. Teri Hatcher and Felictity Huffman both, at separate times, gave the exact, subtle look to go along with whatever line they'd just delivered, and I was sort-of blown away by those 2 looks. And I don't know anything about acting beyond "chorus enters stage left, in silent conversation" (watermelon, peanut butter, watermelon, peanut butter? Oh? Ah! Watermelon. Peanut butter).

So that's what I've got, other than busy. Television.

Bullet points (the last one's the best)

• This morning AJ asked to wear his sweater to school because it was cold (55 degrees!) -- Fall, welcome back. I've missed you! I have nothing to wear.



• My uncle is in town on business and we had dinner with him at my cousin L. and her family's house Sunday night. He made me laugh so hard when we all started quoting his mother, my Granny. Sitting down at the table, L. said, "Well, haven't we got fun!" And after taking his first bite, Uncle A. busted out with, "L., this is really 'Iffa-fliff-igan!'" (translation: fantastic, terrific) -- I hadn't heard that one, well, since Granny was around to say it herself. There is nothing better than family memories and togetherness. Truly, nothing. Tra-la!



• We are selling magazine subscriptions like hotcakes over here. And of course I mean we, as in DH and myself, as the school-age child himself has done nothing but win prizes from our efforts. I can't wait until he's old enough to be apathetic about school fundraisers all on his own. (Psst, Wanna buy a magazine at 40 to 80% off?? CALL ME.)



• Sunday morning, my Darling Husband took charge and got out the ironing board, finishing a load of Wrinkled Items that have been hanging in our laundry room for weeks. I thank him profusely for this (but it is not the good part of the story). I asked him to leave the iron out because I needed to shorten some new pants of AJ's together with hem tape -- the only way to hem! I was busy doing that for about half an hour while he watched the football game and the kids scooted around underfoot, when I noticed someone tugging at my back. Hoping for some attention from Mama. No really, needing some attention. Come ON, Mama... All of a sudden... OW!! Did she just...? She... did!! KT bit me on the behind. BIT ME!! On the butt! And it hurt! I had a hard time telling her sternly that We Don't Bite, because I was giggling so hard!

Guess where I'm headed at lunch?

hairbrush for KT
hairbrush for me (one that doesn't hurt!)
new barettes/bows
bike shorts or bloomers for KT
socks for KT
cream/pink long-sleeved onesies for KT
nightgown?
look at brown/black sandals (on sale?)
new black dress shoes (critical! for a wedding this wknd!)
Lean Pockets
dark chocolate
Toys for kids (Xmas!)
-- Secret Saturdays Kryptid/action figs
-- Bath Magic Ariel doll?
New Halloween buckets

What she said!

RT @bessieviola Also, to hell w/feminism and having it all! Get me an apron!

She just Tweeted what I've been wanting to say for YEARS. :)

------------------------------------------

Hey, Atlanta is flooded! And therefore, we are also (or were) flooded, to a certain extent. I can't believe that some of the old rich homes near Peachtree Creek are the ones flooded out. The suburbs, where I live, were deluged as well. Roads are out and all the schools are closed. It's crazy. Flooding in other areas of the country (Ohio), without a hurricane association, has never registred with me. I've not understood how it works or what it really means. I don't know why. When it's far away you don't always take note. But when it rains for 4 days straight (or more? I lost count) you start to get it. When your backyard is underwater, it begins to register. Huh. This is a flood.

We're very lucky -- only our basement had, I don't know, an inch of water? -- and we've seen a couple of little water stains on the ceiling. I'm praying for the people who are in shelters today.

The myth of "productive"

I've decided that I'm never going to have a completely productive, satisfying day at this job. Just not gonna happen. (A coworker who's been here 5 years has confirmed this.) The days aren't terrible, but they're not AT ALL linear. There's not even a set way I can plan my time, say, to answer phone calls/emails in the morning, do my writing in the lunch hour, and update websites in the afternoons. So yesterday as I walked to the parking lot, I simply focused on the ONE thing I did get accomplished, and that was finishing one small story I was writing. Not the whole 2-page spread, just the one "mini" news item. And after doing that, mostly what I did was read new emails, add things to the list, get frustrated, shuffle papers around (to file or not to file?), and slowly lose the will to live.

(Maybe an exaggeration.)

Today I'm creating a new filing system right after my 9:30 phone call.

Thank goodness it's Friday, right??

Weekend (and very early Monday morning) report

All it took was a simple dinner at a simple restaurant in a strip mall. The anticipation all week helped, too; I was looking forward to it A LOT. Glass of wine, and linguini with pesto cream. Conversation. Met the manager. Paid our money. Walked down to Michael's, of all places, and bought new picture frames. Toys R Us was right there, too, so we went in to look at stuff FOR THE KIDS. We're pathetic, right? But shopping for them is typically 1 of 2 things: Rushed (lunch-hour) or Scattered (them clamoring for stuff). This was leisurely. A wonder. Got a Halloween costume EARLY, for once. (Hope he still wants to be Wolverine!) Then we made a conscious effort to switch OFF parental mode. Next stop, Bath and Body Works - just for fun. Tiny luxury. :) And topped off the night with a warm mocha at a small table at Starbucks. Laughed so hard I cried at one point, and was so happy to know that we still have that kind of good fun together, just talking. IT WAS PERFECT, I say.

Sunday's yoga event was also lovely. Truly lovely. I never take a full HOUR for yoga -- if I'm doing my worn out DVD I choose the 20-minute version. If I don't even bother with the DVD, I get distracted after about 10 minutes. So this was a treat. Also nice to share it with other women. Surprise! I've never thought I liked fitness classes. But in this case it was great to have other people there, at all levels of fitness, and to clap afterwards like we'd all accomplished something. Silly, it sounds now, but it was good. Being outdoors, in the cool grass with a breeze blowing, was good for the soul. I tried hard to soak that up as much as possible.

Early this morning the thought occured to me, "Wouldn't it be nice to teach yoga? The opposite of a stressful job!" I shook it off, telling myself how SILLY that is, me being a writer/marketing person/business-y person all my life. Not a hippie herbal-tea-drinking yogi. But maybe I do need to take a class again. I have already looked online for some yoga studios close to home.

Seven Quick Takes (vol. 6)

1. I have been living a little bit in the past this week because my Darling Husband bought me a CD -- a recent compliation of Chicago's greatest radio hits. Such good tunes there, from childhood/high school and before. I didn't realize the founders were DePaul University students, a school near and dear to my heart although I didn't attend there. And in the last several years I've come to appreciate the horn section more and more. Chicago, my friends, has horns.

2. Speaking of my DH, what a guy. :) He's been so busy this week at his office, but not too busy to 1) insist that I go to bed early the night before last, 2) send me a very sweet email on Wednesday, something that we both normally "are too busy" to do (shame on us), and 3) plan our date night tonight, even agreeing to maybe go to the mall with me. Hey, it's something we don't ever get to do by ourselves. I think it's going to be fun! I'm really grateful. I know that he read the blog post about me feeling sad and whatever, and he's taking actions that are so small, yet SO significant. Points for being Life-giving!

3. This Sunday I'm attending a work-related Yoga event at Atlanta's Piedmont Park. I haven't been to a group yoga session since... oh, this is embarassing... 1999!! The weatherman's predicting rain but I hope he's wrong. If morning temps are as nice as they've been lately, it's going to be an hour or two of pure BLISS. Breathe in... breathe out.

4. My Dad had hip replacement surgery this week. I am so glad for him. His hip has been giving him trouble for years. Talk about guilt: Our dumb 2-story house has been no picnic when he's been to visit us, I'm sure. I hope this is going to make him good as new! He'll likely go home today or tomorrow, and I know it's going to be a tough few weeks as he recovers (and can't sit/bend at a 90-degree angle)! So I'm praying for Mom and Dad both for strength and patience. And since I know a lot of good, praying people read Jen's Quick Takes, I'm posting it here! If you can spare a good thought, send it my parents' way!

5. KT ate turkey meatballs last night. Yum, yum! She didn't even get them in her hair, which is a minor miracle.

6. AJ started talking about Christmas yesterday. He said we need to make a wish list for KT. And then he whispered in my ear that what we need to put on that list is "A Barney toy." What a good brother!

7. Funny story that always makes me smile: A woman in my office wore a headscarf to the office one day. Another woman said, "You're so lucky, you can wear hats!" The first woman replied, "But... you can, too! You have a head, don't you?!" Hahahahahaha! Maybe you had to be there?

More quick takes at www.conversiondiary.com

Wonderful rambling post

I want to be able to write wonderful, rambling posts (that still feel literary) like Julia does. Or the informative, excellent history-keeping posts like Indigo Girl. I guess this will be an attempt to combine the two.

The kids are really showing some personality traits. AJ is exhibiting quite the capacity for art, specifically drawing, although that might just be part of the Kindergarten package. I remember last fall when I was teaching Sunday School (oh, did I not tell you? I am not teaching again this year. I didn't feel like I could commit to it. And then of course, a lovely man stood up last Sunday at Mass and gave his "testimony" -- as much as a Catholic can give "testimony", ha -- about teaching 7th-grade Sunday School, and how this year he really thought he couldn't do it again, but... turns out he couldn't give up his Calling... Guilt! Guilt! Guilt! But, oh well, maybe I'll return to it another year. I do LOVE running into my former students at church. They get all giggly.) ANYway, last year I noticed that ALL the Kindergarteners in my class could draw -- or at least, they weren't at all inhibited to think that they couldn't. I love that. But AJ seems to really enjoy it. He doesn't draw on every available surface or sheet of paper like one of his cousins, but he does love Thursdays when he has Art Class, and our driveway is full of chalk masterpieces. Robots, ships, and aliens mostly. He's always had a great ear for music, too, which makes Mommy's heart glad -- he has sung ON PITCH since he was tiny. KT, on the other hand, speaks her songs so far. Sprechstimme, it's called in opera and German -- a word my nerd music friends and I got a kick out of in college. AJ and I will sing "A, B, C, D, E, F..." and pause for KT to show what she knows. She'll insert a very deadpan, "Deee." It's so cute. So to sum up, AJ: Art(s), I think.

He's also worrying us slightly because he gets so wrapped up in his imagination sometimes that he fails to respond when people -- adults or kids -- talk to him. The other day at T-ball, 3 different teammates tried to talk to him and I think he plainly ignored them all. We're perplexed, and don't want him to be the Weird Kid. ;) The other problem is that he sometimes won't speak up when he needs something from a teacher. Example: if he needs help opening a lunch item like his milk. He'll say, "Well, Mrs. C. didn't see my hand so I didn't get to drink it." He reports this with a sad face. We're trying to tell him that it's not good manners to ignore people, and that if he needs help he needs to ASK. All these little learning curves.

T-ball has been fun, by the way. At least for me. Those batting helmets are YOOGE on the little kids, though. They bobble around while the kids run the bases. So funny. The scheduling hasn't really been troublesome, either -- a relief. On days when we have a 6pm game, we've managed just fine. Luckily the field is less than 10 minutes from our house. I really love being there, for some reason. All the parents and siblings, the concession stand, the lights when it starts to get dark, the crack of the bat... feels very "hometown" and comforting.

KT at almost 19 months is making so much progress. She mimicks every little word we say which gives AJ something to do: "KT, say, 'It spilled.' Say 'Band-Aid.' Say 'Tay-toes.'" I keep telling him it's going to confuse her to say "It spilled" when NOTHING DID, and to cut it out. But whatever. They're funny to watch. When they play together happily (usually chasing each other), it's the best thing in the world.

KT, however, is also a grumpy gus in the mornings. I said to DH the other day that I don't think she's ever, in her whole life, woken up happy. Always crying. And grouchy! Our morning routine is to go downstairs immediately and get her a sippy of milk, which she drinks while we all snuggle on the couch for a minute. That's been the routine since forever! But lately she fusses and whines and doesn't want her milk, doesn't want a snack, can't even be calmed with Barney – she loves Barney, and why haven't either of my kids chosen Blue's Clues as their first love instead?? She also loves Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, though, so that's good, we're indoctrinating her properly – it makes for a somewhat unpleasant start to the day (and a definite bummer during snuggle time).

She's also a FLIRT. Especially when asked for kisses. She plainly refuses with a distinct, "Nooo." And then a little sly grin as she runs away. Mischievous imp!

I need to get to work now. Except to report that tomorrow night (hooray for a short week, Friday is already TOMORROW!) we are having a Date Night. I am very excited to have dinner and wine and a babysitter. God Bless the babysitter.

I leave you with a photo that we had taken recently. I can't resist that portrait place. My walls are in danger of becoming swiss cheese with all the frames I want to hang.

First Diet

KT is subsisting exclusively on Craisins and ketchup.


What weird things did your kids declare the ONLY ACCEPTABLE ITEMS at this ridiculous not-eating stage?

Documentation

I don't think I want to talk about it much, but I've just been moody and sad the last 2 weeks. Some of it is typical job stress/blahs, and some of it has sunk to really wondering what things have made me truly happy lately. (Fact: plenty of things - T-ball, KT learning words like "tickle" and "it spilled," Kindergarten, reading, the visit from my parents. But still I've been wondering what things DO truly make ME happy? Do I even know? And do I get enough of those things?)

I don't know if it's the change of routine and I can't get a handle on the new "normal" yet (our to-do LIST seems a mile long), or if it's a mid-life crisis of some kind, or if it's just a particularly bad stretch of PMS (2 weeks? much longer than usual) -- or maybe it's because we've had OVERCAST SKIES for 2 weeks... Seattle, how do you do it?? -- but for some reason I want to document it here. So that when I go back and read this when I'm seventy, I can remember "that tough time in August oh-nine."

Blah. I hate when I write posts like this. They seem stupid and whiny. I'm sure it will pass.