Weekend balance

A few accomplishments:

I GREW A TOMATO!! A real-live wee green gumball of a tomato, which I'm hoping will grow to be red and juicy and delicious between 2 giant slices of white bread with mayo. I am super proud of myself. Yesterday I moved the tomato plants to an area that I think will give them more full sun than they've been getting. I don't know how long it takes for a tomato to ripen, but if it's during my vacation next week, and the thing has been mauled by rabbits or just plain rotted by the time we return, I'm going to be M-A-D. Super mad.

Do you know, I didn't even TRY, but now my saying, "AJ, I'm going to count to THREE... One, Two...." TOTALLY works? I'm not sure how this happened but I'm quite happy about it. He will drop everything if I say, "ONE..." Rock on.

We set up our (plastic, thank goodness) Thomas train set again this Saturday morning. Well, I say "we" but I mean ME. :) Thankyouverymuch. It is 8 feet wide and involves a lot of instructions-reading. Whew! AJ loves that thing. He will scoot Percy around on the road, and Catherine the road-truck on the train tracks, which is all backwards and drives Hubby crazy, but it is so fun to watch him play by himself and "talk for" the little engines: "Wait for me, Percy!" says Thomas. "Wheeeeeeeeeee!" says Percy as he goes down a hill.

Less than accomplished:

Still not done potty training, for those of you keeping score. We're definitely taking swim diapers to the beach, and the only progress is that now AJ love-love-loves going to public restrooms. We went out to lunch on Saturday and he went three times. Public toilet seats, my favorite. I did buy him some Spiderman Underwear, AND for attempting to poop the other day, he got to play Daddy's Spiderman game on the Xbox, which seems to be a BIG enticement. Now I'm not one to offer video games at this young age, but at this point, if it motivates him, I'm going to try it. He will not get to play it again UNTIL I see evidence of a bowel movement in the toilet. ("TOE-let," as AJ calls it, which cracks me up. It's exactly the same south-Georgia accent as his daddy. Cute!)

My Father's Day ideas, which I was so proud about, mostly flopped. :( I had hired a neighborhood kid, who'd sent around a flier a few weeks ago saying he was starting a lawn-mowing business, to come mow ours this week and again after our vacation. Now, our lawn barely needs mowing, since we haven't had rain in, Oh, I don't know, 2 MONTHS MAYBE. But the idea was that Hubby would get a break from it for the whole month of June, and even while we were away, our house would appear to be kept up. So thoughtful! So unique! Right? I mean, if someone hired you a cleaning service you'd jump for joy, yes?

Well. First of all, it was a fiasco. 12-year-old Matt brought over a lawnmower with its gas tank on Empty, and couldn't figure out why it kept quitting. He asked for 2 glasses of water and came in the house while the mower "cooled off" a couple times, which was fine but he chose to do the work at 6pm, when I was trying to get dinner and is typically AJ's potty-time so I was fighting with him about that... it was a Calgon moment when Matt asked me if I thought he should check the spark plugs on his mower, and did I have something he could use... blah blah. (KID, I DON'T KNOW OR CARE ABOUT SPARK PLUGS! MOW THE DAMN LAWN AND GO AWAY.) He made it a point of telling me he really needed to do this tonight, because he needed the money to go to the movies because there'd be GIRLS there. *eyeroll*

Second of all, Hubby's reaction to receiving this gift was not satisfactory. When I told him this was his gift, he said, "Okay." Not "Wow, thanks!" but, "Okay." And God bless his perfectionist self, but I could see he was just willing Matt to do it all wrong or run over something with his blade, or screw up somehow. I didn't want him to HELP Matt when it seemed the mower was kaput, so that meant *I* had to take on the hassle... &tc. and grumble grumble and that's quite enough about that.

So DH could actually "open" a gift, I also got him some Nautica dress shirts, both with stripes. He was appropriately thankful for those but mentioned that "When we get to Destin, to the outlets, remember to look for some SOLIDS and then my wardrobe will be all set." So I apparently did wrong there, too, by getting stripes. (I don't care, they're PRETTY stripes.) Sigh.

Best Buy gift cards is all he's getting from now on. And maybe tomatoes.

The Deal Is

Apologies to my friends and family who already know this and have heard it ad nauseum.

Remember how I said I was going to lay it all out, how I feel about my job, what I want to do, and when? Well, a conversation was already in progress over at All & Sundry, so I jumped in. She did the hard work for me, and our situations are similar. She likes her company a whole heck of a lot, and they're kind and easy to work for. Me too. She doesn't feel exactly fulfilled in her career. Me either. My own thoughts/plans, cut-n-pasted below, are number 90 in her comments.

I'm in a job I can stand, but never would have imagined for myself. I'd rather work part-time for the same company or just write full-time (I'd probably get most of my writing gigs from... the same company). But I just *cannot* decide. Or make the leap of faith.

We're trying for a 2nd curtain-climber, so I'm just praying that works out, and then I do plan pick one.

As for career aspirations? They pretty much went out the window when my son was born. Why would I want to be a "success" corporately when I can aim to be a success at parenthood? If I make enough to help us pay the mortgage (and the Internet bill), AND have time with my hubby & kid(s), that is going to be enough success for me.

Ideally I want to be a secretary at my son's school (read: summers off), and write/edit on the side. I think that'll work just fine. :)

So there it is. For some reason I need that second baby to justify cutting back; which isn't exactly fair to AJ, but maybe has to do with SAVING as much money as we can before the 2nd baby comes. And AJ's done just fine at his daycare, full-time.

(BTW, we just got internet "AJ-cam" installed at our daycare. Right now at the very instant in time, he's playing outside. :) I am going to be addicted to this.)

What I think about lately (besides having summers off), is whether to structure a part-time schedule like this?

M off
T work 8-4
W work 8-4
T work 8-4
F off
(total 21 hrs)

or like this?
M-F 8-12
(total 20 hrs)

For daycare purposes (for baby #2, mostly), the first option makes better sense, because if I got off at 12 that's right in the middle of naptime for all their classrooms. But once AJ's in real school, he'd have to have some sort of after-care because I couldn't pick him up until 4:30 or 5. So in that case, the 2nd scenario is better.

And, GEES, I thought I was really anxious to be pregnant the first time around! This time I think I want it even MORE. :)

Relative to my job, sort-of

Hee hee. The college admissions game is so much fun.

A high school teacher in San Francisco gives his students "rejection therapy."

And so goes my fretful mind

What makes me wince (and sometimes cry) when I allow myself to think about it, is being a working mom during the summers when AJ reaches school age. Right now it's fine I guess; he's in daycare every day of his life and he doesn't know, yet, that summers are Free Time. But once he gets into school, where will we be then? When the kids countdown that last week of class 'til the final bell rings, and they all run out the door flinging papers and books and singing, "No More Teachers...?" The next Monday, AJ will be headed to the daycare for what they so craftily call "camp." With Teachers. And probably books.

And no matter how hard I try to salve it in my heart, I just don't want that for him.

I want him to have lazy days without so many rules and schedules. Time to just wander the backyard. TO GET BORED. Days-in-succession at the pool. Books galore. Corn dogs and popsicles.

I suppose he CAN have all that for a time... I can send him to Florida to my parents' for a week or three, then we'll have our usual end-of-June vacation week, then he can go to Savannah to his other grandparents' for a while... maybe a week of Vacation Bible School because that never felt like "real" school to me...? And to round out the 3 months, the "camp" program at our daycare actually IS field-trip filled; I mean, I know they do fun things like go to the water park and the pool. But it's just not the same in my mind.

Puzzled

Oh, Melissa & Doug. I really want to be friends with you guys. You seem like people I would like.

But I think I might have to stop talking to you. What were you thinking with the United States puzzle?

Seriously, Melissa, why would you do this to me? Each state carefully jigged around its border, and they all fit FLAT on the flat flat board of the puzzle base (read: no 1/4 inch-deep "cradle" for the piece. You have to slide it up to its neighbor pieces. Hhhhate.) And Doug, what about New Jersey? I hate this New Jersey, all bunched up with DC and I think Rhode Island, but not making any sense as a shape. I almost always try to put it in (on?) upside-down. Did you guys chug a big beer before you cut Michigan? Come on, you can tell me, we're friends. Because I would love to love Michigan -- if it looked like everyone's favorite mitten. But nooooo, Melissa & Doug felt the need to include the same-named Lake, all in one piece -- so when all the little buggers are turned over like this:
I can't FIND Michigan! And that wastes precious seconds of my time. There is no way to do this puzzle quickly. I have a half-hour geography lesson every day after AJ dumps the thing, fruit-basket-turnover style. And yeah, you'll suggest I should be spending the time doing the puzzle WITH him, but lemme tell ya a little secret: after he's dumped it, he moves on to something else! And I am stuck with the Disheveled Union of itty bitty pieces of States.

I should note, AJ can recognize Texas, and "Camifohneeya," and "Loozee-nana," and probably a few others. So maybe I can thank you, my two friends, for when he skips first grade in a few years. (So Smart!) And I can thank you for not including the Virgin Islands. But still. With this and the dying-battery Animal Pet Sounds audio puzzle, which now bleats a few sad "Reeechebts, Reechebts!" when I turn off the light in the room (such sensitive sensors)... I just .... it's just over between us, guys. I'm sorry. I loved you.

Friday Thanks

My sister has taken up this project in my forgetfulness, and reminded me to do it. It's so good to be grateful.

• For music. This week I have rediscovered my iPod and listened to something other than Cookie Monster: Bruce Hornsby, Keane, Coldplay, Angie Aparo... the world is too full of depressing, complicated news and listening to that all day, every day (well, all-commute anyway) is NOT necessarily good for the soul. Rocking out, on the other hand, IS. :)
• For birthday cashola. I now have the means and the motivation to go out and buy some new, fun clothes that I've been wanting since forever. All for me.
• For an IDEA for Father's Day! Part of husband's surprise has already been put in place, and the other part will be executed shortly. Wheeee! (I never seem to have good gift ideas so I'm extra excited about this. Can't tell you now, though: Hubby reads the blog!)
• For long waiting times. Sometimes it's very good to have to wait, and I feel like I've been in a 'holding pattern' for change in my daily round, for a very long time. I rarely talk about it in explicit terms here, but I hint at it obsessively. I am working on a post that gets it all out on paper. There's no absolute conclusion in sight, but it's coming into focus I think, and to quote something I read yesterday, "I see a refining that God is working in me and until He is finished I am not going to see the end result." I really like that thought.
• For weekends. Sometimes DH and I lament that at age 2.5, AJ is already conscious of the fact that Friday is cooler than Monday. He counts down the days 'til the weekend, just like we do. I guess it's something that's always been part of our family, though: when DH and I were dating, we definitely counted down 'til Fridays-at-5, when we could be together again to relax and play and just feel the rotation of the Earth around its axis.

My brother-in-law and his girlfriend are coming to visit for the weekend, so I'm trying to think of interesting places to take them. I've proposed Pizza on the square downtown, and some time at the kiddie park there, too, if it isn't too hot. What're you doing this weekend?

Surprise

Can't blog... Playing with fonts and colors! I eventually want to add a pretty picture at the top, because Blogger lets you do that now. :)

In the spirit of clean-up, go look at Playgroup Dropout and see what Small Change we're all challenged to do this month.

Writing prompt for today

I just read a book about high school, and they played this game called "Assassin," much like my senior class played "Senior Tag" with water guns, back in the day. (I wonder if they still do that?) Kind-of fun remembering it -- I know I went out at least one Friday night with a group of friends, and drove to some kids' houses that I'd never have gone to, otherwise. Everyone had a "target," and once you "killed" that person, you got THEIR target, and it went on and on until there's only one person left - the winner.

Similarly, I've been tagged by Julie, with this! And it will go on and on until no one's left who hasn't done it. The rules are:

* Each player starts with eight random facts/habits.
* People who are tagged need to write posts on their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.
* At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.

1. Well, this is somewhat random (i.e., different) but not fun: Just as I was getting all comfortable and pleased about parenting, something comes up. The last 2 days AJ has given us nothing but trouble about going to daycare. We get full mornings of "I don't wanna go to schoooooool" whining, which is miserable. I thought it was because his schedule'd gotten jostled, with my parents visiting and all. But then last night in the middle of playing with puzzles, he told me, "Max bites me all the time." And I asked him "Where?" and he showed me his arm. It had two tiny little puncture scabs -- they didn't necessarily look like teeth marks, but maybe. And then I started thinking that he tells me he and Max play a lot -- he seems to love Max! -- but one of the games they play is "Ouchie, Max! Ouchie!" He says it that same way every time, "Ouchie, Max, ouchie." So now I'm all concerned and have to call up there in five minutes when the daytime teacher arrives, and say to her, What The Hell.

2. For my birthday yesterday, I received yet ANOTHER something sparkly from my husband! I think he is finally trained. ;)

3. There is some leftover "tater tot casserole" in my freezer that I doubt we will ever eat.

4. I spent my childhood summers wearing SPF 6 because people used to tell me my skin had "that olive complexion." I have since learned that I am anything but olive, and now I wear SPF 30 or more.

5. I had forgotten this, but since Dad brought me a sackful-a grapefruits this weekend, I remembered that a half grapefruit is one of my very favorite breakfast items. Too bad they are such a pain in the neck -- cutting around each slice, you know.

6. Our waitress last night botched my birthday surprise -- she never brought the sopapillas-with-candle that Husband ordered while I was with AJ in the restroom -- so he docked two dollars from her tip. I am very relieved that I didn't gorge myself with sopapillas, too, on top of cheese dip and chips and fajitas... but was feeling kinda sad last night that I didn't get to blow out a candle. Isn't that stupid?

7. I just called the school and feel better... in reality, if my kid is getting hurt, he's going to cry about it to the teachers. He is definitely A Crier. So I'm going to go on about my day satisfied that I've alerted them and hopeful that it's nothing. What's a little friendly biting between friends?

8. My Mom bought me some new red Crocs flip-flops on Saturday. I am excited because it's been four years since I've had new flip-flops. I've always avoided the ones with a thong between the toes, because I HATED that feeling! But not this year. I think I have finally grown up and can tolerate it. And a whole new world has opened up to me!


Tagsies: not 8 people, but MB, Beansy, Nicole, Melessa...? Do something fun today. :) On the house.

Weekend with the family

My parents visited this weekend, and I think the best part for me was having ample opportunities to be SO PROUD of AJ. Where did we get this well-behaved, actually-listens-to-his-parents, 2.5 year-old?

I have to say, when we asked him to sit still in Church, I truly didn't expect him to. But he DID. And earned -- really deserved -- the ice cream he had coming.

When he fell asleep on the couch right before dinner, thus creating somewhat of a meltdown when it finally was time to eat, all that we needed was for him to be taken out of the room, talked to a bit, and he actually COMPOSED himself and came back to the table, feeling all better. Even ATE dinner.

Maybe it was the addition of two extra adults -- ones he loves and wants to please -- that made it all go so well. I will certainly Take It. :) Sometimes, it's a pleasure to be a parent.

Just what I needed

Late last Wednesday, I got the dreaded phone call:

"Hi, el-e-e...? It's Darby at (AJ's school)." Darby's the front desk woman. I like her. But, "Damn," is always the first thing I think. The plan -- the working/office/daycare thing -- has failed me today. I cannot perform both as employee and as Mom. But then, "Ooh, I get to leave RIGHT NOW" takes over, and I usually find myself smiling just a little bit.

AJ had a reddened, irritated eye that day, and the daycare does not mess around when it comes to possible pinkeye. They wanted him out of there. I was not convinced it was something contagious, but the next morning he woke up pretty puffy, so I went ahead and called the doc.

To make a long story short, it was NOT pinkeye, and AJ felt perfectly fine all day... but I chose to keep him home. Meaning, we had a day off! An absolutely fine-as-a-fiddle "Sick Day." Those are the best kind, after all -- ask Ferris Bueller. I had been thinking, just the week before, that I needed to take a personal day already and just SPEND SOME TIME with the kid. For both of our sakes. It was nice that the opportunity presented itself, since I am so bound by guilt and loyalty and probably WOULDN'T take a free-day of my own volition. I told my office he was sick and they were none the wiser. AJ and I went to lunch at McDonald's (he DID have to endure a doctor visit, after all, and what better 'treat' than chicken nuggets and a stint at the PlayPlace?), had a "book picnic" in the front yard in the afternoon, complete with watermelon snacks, and played one heck of a lot of Hide-n-Seek.

Remind me to do this again in 6 months or so.

This is obnoxious, but I have to

You know what CRACKS AJ RIGHT UP, every time?

Going, "WHOA." in Joey Lawrence fashion.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=ZHOCyhdPmyU

The way AJ laughs when he hears me say WHOA, you'd think it was the only joke ever to be told on this earth. And it's not even a joke. It's barely a word.

On waking

Honey: I am certain you'll twist the blame to me for this, and I'm likely part of the cause, but I have to say, after spending the whole night with my one little square of comforter: What is the DEAL, man? Covers-hogging has never been your thing. ;)

* * * * * * * * *

For Memorial Day weekend, we visited DH's grandmother in Virginia, and it was the first time since bringing a child into this world that we traveled without the Pack-n-Play. OHMYSWEETHEAVENS, what blessed relief (for Husband) not to have to lug that monster up from the basement, over two state lines, into the guest bedroom, out of its vinyl case, etc. etc. I decided on a whim that AJ is plenty old enough to sleep on a palette on the floor. Husband claimed to never have heard of this "palette" method. He thought I meant a wooden skid. HA! But then again, he didn't have lots of siblings or cousins that he had to share his grandparents with -- we were always eager to spend the night at Granny's with our cousins, because of her floor palettes. (Also her pillows, which were fresh like air and roses and extra-squishy with down.) Even though she had plenty of beds, it seems like we always gathered on the floor of her den, on multiple blankets a la a sleeping bag, without the bag. Anyway, AJ was enamored of the idea and slept quite well the first night.

The second night, he woke up at what I thought was about 5:00 am, so I sleepily pulled him under the covers with DH and me. Turns out either I was wrong and it was more like 2:00 am, or THAT WAS THE LONGEST HOUR & A HALF of my sleeping life. Legs in my ribs. Feet in my back. Arms over my throat. Hello, edge of the mattress? Meet ME in my ENTIRETY. This was a full-size bed, y'all. I love that kid, but I'll tell you honest: I don't want to sleep with him!

* * * * * * * * *

A few weeks ago I said to Mrs. Flinger (avec newborn! so sweet!) that I was ready to tweak our work-daycare arrangement just slightly. This morning, when AJ woke up, he confirmed that we should try that out: he said, "Mama, is it a breakfast day? I wanna go downtairs and eat breakfast." See, typically we've had to leave the house at 7:00 am or before, to get DH to work on time for an 8:00 meeting. AJ has always eaten breakfast at school. But now, DH doesn't have to leave so early. He works 6 miles from home, HALLELUJAH. And especially on days when I work from home, I'm thinking it'd be really nice to have breakfast together, like a regular pre-big-traffic era family. Wouldn't that be nice? :) Tomorrow, I'm thinking Rice Krispies and juice, right in my own kitchen. I mean, the goal is for him to yearn to have his feet "back under Mama's table" after he moves away, right? So we should practice that.

A tribute to my seester!

Remember how we used to play "camping..." in the linen closet?

Remember how we played gymnastics lessons by "spotting" our dolls while they did backhandsprings?

Remember how your toy closet was always "the messy one?"

Remember how sometimes I would listen in on your phone conversations with Bri? (oops, I mean, haha, um. I did that.)

Remember how you were always advanced enough to play MY piano sheet music, even though I couldn't share like a reasonable person?

Remember your blue bike?

Remember fishing at the school carnival?

Remember when we got our trampoline?

...and our treehouse?

Remember James & the Giant Peach?

Remember playing Atari with our cousins?

Remember swimming under Mom's legs at the Country Club pool?

Ooh, remember their grilled cheese sandwich for lunch?

And SLUSH PUPPIES? :)

Remember listening to our records in my room - Sesame Street, Strawberry Shortcake and the PeculiarPurplePiemanofPorcupinePEAK??

Remember "cooking up a storm?"

Remember those awesome barrels on the playground?

Remember tennis lessons with cute Blair (Jill Pickle and Gol-Lee), and then cute (the other guy, with dark hair - whatshisname)?

Remember dancing the Indian dance ONE twothreefour ONE twothreefour at Camp Fire Camp?

and "stinging nettles?"

Remember how piano lessons with Mrs. H were never as fun as with Mrs. L?

Remember Psalty and the Kids' Praise musical?

Remember 10,000 frog jumps?

Remember posing for those fancy Christmas pictures, when our house was on the home tour (you, peering so adorably into that tall candle hurricane thing)?

Remember piggy-back rides from babysitters, and playing Mother May I?

Remember Sea-Wees?

The Snorks every Saturday morning?

Learning art history in the kitchen with Mom?

Making ice and lettuce concoctions in the freezer?

Making mud pies at Granny's?

Playing store with golf tees?

Getting ringworm?

The girl scouts sleepover in the Planetarium?

Irrigatin'?

Those one-piece summer outfits that tied over the shoulders?

JELLIES?

playing Ma and her Wild Horses?

doing a play in Betsy & Patrick's basement closet? (What was it with closets?)

Orphanage?

Work?

Library (in Dad's office)

School

House

(and my favorite) Friends?

Happy Birthday, Beansy! I love you!

Party Planner

Tonight's Book Club menu, chez moi:

Sangria Blanca*
Rotel cheese dip and chips
Taco Salad
Cool Blueberry Pie

and Prep, by Curtis Sittenfeld.

Should be fun! Only thing I still need are some flowers for the table. And to finish the book, but that may not happen. Oh well, hardly matters. Book Club isn't about the Book, dummy! It's about the:

*Sangria Blanca

1/2 c. lemon juice (RealLemon)
1/2 c. sugar
2 tbsp RealLime
1 bottle late harvest wine (this would be Riesling, yes? Wine smarties, please confirm for me!)
2-3 tbsp orange-flavored liqueur
soda water

sliced oranges, lemons, or fresh grapes and/or raspberries (garnish)

Mix the sugar and lemon/lime juices until sugar is dissolved. Add wine and chill. Garnish with fruit of your choice, and serve with a splash of soda.

Verbal avalanche, just because

Hey. It's been a long time since we just sat down to chat. Want to? Good. Me too.

First off, check out my pretty new shoes! I know. I got 'em at Marshall's for twenty bucks and I love 'em. They are replacing my favorite brown sandals ever (which have died a scuffy death), so it's good I found them. Marshall's has some good deals on shoes, dude.

I got a couple other items and I think Hubby and I are going to try to do some more shopping this weekend. He ususally finds much more during our co-ed shopping excursions than I do. But he's in need. New job = new clothes, right? He deserves some.

Oh, and how's his job going? Great so far, I think. He seems content with it, even though it's always hard to be the new guy. Thanks for asking. He's working with nice folks, and they tell him he's picking it up quickly (no surprise). I think it's a shock to his system to have so much less stress from commuting, and less from the actual work, too. His system is so glad of this change! (As is his wife.)

Yeah, there's not a whole lot going on at work for me today. Typical Friday, I guess. Tonight I have dress rehearsal for our concert tomorrow, and let me just say... I will be glad when it's over. I checked out of this one before it even started. Maybe it'll help to have the instruments there tonight -- one song we're doing is accompanied solely by harp, and that should lend a different feeling to it (with just the rehearsal piano, I loathe this piece). Harps are rather ethereal and I will need that to make it worth it, on a tired Friday night.

Then tomorrow, the concert... if I can JUST line up the babysitting thing. Garh. We have SUCH a hard time finding babysitters. It's ALWAYS last minute, I ALWAYS have to fall back on this one friend that I don't really like to bother... we thought Hubby's best friend would help us this time (Hubby has to go to a wedding without me, leaving AJ stranded), but the friend called last night to say he had a fever. Fabulous. Hopefully by Saturday night he'll feel better.... ? Am I crazy to still hope that? Shouldn't I just nix it to be on the safe side? Sigh. Hate. Finding. Babysitters. HATE. 'Specially this time of year with prom and graduation and all. (Mom, please just go ahead and move up here. Cool. Thanks.)

I need to work on my patience. Had a learning moment this morning when Hubby got exasperated with AJ, because AJ accidentally ground his little feet onto Daddy's clean dress shoes. After a bit of a reprimand, AJ said, "I din't mean to do dat," and it nearly broke my heart -- and I know, no one wants their shoes to get scuffed up, but what *I* thought was, they're SHOES. Who cares? He's two. It doesn't matter if you've told him before -- he can't even put ON his own shoes, much less strive to keep his and other people's scuff-free. BUT THEN! After I'd huffed to myself about it and curtly told Hubby goodbye like the little brat I am, my Jiminy Cricket said to me, "Is that a LOG in your EYE, missy???" Because, hello: PATIENCE. Hubby should be patient with AJ, but EL-E-E should be patient with HUBBY. So I mea culpa'd to God about that one the whole rest of my drive to work. (Also about impatience with the baby thing. Really. The one time I act like a good Catholic and actually allow God's timing to control that area, and I get impatient. Not good. Prayed silently for help with that, too.)

Have done pretty well with the diet this week. However, while at Marshall's getting my shoes, I blatantly IGNORED the "swim shop;" I'm not ready yet. I also don't know how fitday.com can log a crab cake as 93 calories; that can't be right. We had 2 apiece last night, but I logged it as four because I'm certain they cost more than 93. (Your recipe, MB! High score, as usual.)

Hey, you should come over and smell my plants. The tomato vines are HUGE - and precariously staked with dental floss, ha! Good thing no fruit yet because they'd fall over. My germinated basil seeds have finally started smelling like licorice, if I give 'em a little pinch! It's heaven. Hopefully we will be making lots of fresh salsa this summer, as well as basil-tomato pizza!

Okay, I'll let you go. Good chattin' with you. Have a good weekend.

The 6-wks-til-beach-week diet

I'm three days in (again) to a serious limitation of calories. That is, calories IN. I am trying extra-hard to increase calories OUT. Hoo boy. I'm hungry all the time. But trying not to give in. Trying to hit the healthy 1400-1500 cals per day intake, and burn about 1800-1900. (I am unable to calculate an exact 500-cal defecit in order to lose 1 pound per week. Absolutely unable. But I'll take any defecit and count that as a good day.)

Here's how I diet, typically:

7:32 am Coffee. A-number-one dietary staple. (very virtuous, with splenda and skim)

9:00 am Still reading blogs and unable to move from chair... no breakfast today. And that's cool, I can handle it.

9:15 am Kinda hungry.

10:59 am Maybe I'll have breakfast. Cottage cheese with peaches. 1 serving. Tastes great, really filling!

11:30 am Ooh, time for lunch. Let's see... leftovers? Salad? Salad. I'm home, I can make a (virtuous) salad.

11:32 am Bagged spinach, my favorite! So full of vitamins. Sign of the cross to ward off E coli. Hmmm. what else have I got?

Tomato. Except... this one's seeds are kind-of dark... Hm. Maybe just a few bite-size chunks. there, that oughtta do it.

aannnd... Protein! Very important for salad. Here's some chicken breast (virtue!).

And some cheese. (Protein! 2-3 servings of dairy! Perfecto.)

And who can enjoy a salad without THESE? Oh boy, do I love these. Protein! Good fat! Wheee!

2 TBPS, no more, balsamic vinagrette. (so tasty. and Vir.tu.ous.)

11:40 am Wow, that was the best salad. Too bad I'm still frickin' hungry.

11:41 am So I had veg, I had protein... carbs! Don't want to NOT eat carbs... Carbs are not the enemy. Scanning pantry... pretzels (snore)... Cheese-Its! Yes, Cheese-Its.

11:42 am
Wait, even better? Cheese-Its AND Pretzels. Just a half serving each. (Counting them out) 1... 2... 3... oh this is a pain. Handful. "Approximate" is okay.

Closing the box now (4 more "for the road"). Mouth full -- Oohmmff, guhd. Partially hydrogenated, and yet, so, so tasty.

12:30 pm
Ahem. Wow, that vinagrette stays with ya. Did you know chocolate, next to mint, is the best breath freshener? I read that somewhere.

.... aaaand so forth.

One of these days here soon, I'm going to have to shop for the year's new bathing suit. Every summer I pack a range of them -- a new one, a "last year's" and at least ONE "2 or 3 years ago" one. Wouldn't it be fun to have ALL NEW? Plus several new flip-flops and beach bags AND a cover-up? Utter Extravagance.

Anyway. Got any gum? I need about 14 pieces to tide me over 'til dinner.

Want to see my checkbook?

Target

Publix

Target

Target

[Name of Daycare]

Publix

Publix

Publix again (forgot something that time)


These are the places my money goes.

And don't get me wrong. I, personally, adore Target. And I'm not overly hateful toward Publix, either, because I sometimes like to grocery-shop. You know, Possiblity. Health. Cheeze-Its.

Where my MONEY wants to go -- that's entirely different. My money BEGS me to take it to Talbots. And the newly discovered Ann Taylor Loft. My money really enjoys being spent at Pier One and Barnes & Noble. (In fact, it jumps out of my wallet when we're in those places. Gleefully.) It sighs when I carry it through Macy's -- empty, beloved Macy's. Lately, seeing all the Lands' End catalogs in the mail, my money has asked to be spent there, online, in a swift, clicky motion. Pottery Barn Kids is also a place my money would really, really like to visit.

But I can't let my money get all picky and asky. I keep it quiet with the mind-numbing routine.

Target.

Publix.

[Daycare]

Publix.

The sweetest breakfast

Was your mother's day nice? Mine was. I think Hubby deserves mountains of credit for thinking of this one thing, especially:

Picture breakfast in bed, with (coffee, toast, sliced apples, and) 2 poached eggs -- my fave. They sat on either side of my plate, and in between? Two slices of bacon, arranged like an "X." Get it? O X O. Hug, Kiss, Hug.

Aren't you impressed?? I was!


(To top that off, he let me watch not one, but THREE episodes of "What Not to Wear..." during Prime Time! While playoff hockey was being played! I do love this man.)

Rocks in my... where?

Yesterday I got to AJ's school ready for my big Mamaaaa! hug, which I got, and savored.

They were all on the playground. He was sweaty and scrapey-kneed, with lunch stains on his shirt and red juice stains around his mouth... which I just love. Little boys! Adorable! Rough and tumble! Messy! It gets me right in the heart.

In the middle of this strange euphoria of mine, (!) AJ says, like it's the most normal thing in the world,

"Mama? Will you help me get this rock outta my ear?"

Me, me! I want something for nothing!

Everyday Mommy's offering her gorgeous art for free, for your blog, for Mother's Day. Wouldn't that be cool? :) Go ahead, you can sign up, too. Just don't cut in line in front of ME!

Our Good Fences should probably come down

DH and I joked this weekend that it's a good thing we like each other, because we are so picky about our local friends -- often getting annoyed with them, rarely asking them over, sometimes rolling our eyes when they call... we're awful, small-hearted people. So Saturday we installed our next-door neighbors' rolled-up carpet, 4 ceiling fans, 20 light fixtures, and (gorgeous) bathroom vanity in our free storage facility, otherwise known as the basement. They're investment real-estaters, and one of their properties is in foreclosure, so I guess we're helping out. (I'll admit, I had rude thoughts about it at first, since usually Mrs. Neighbor tells me all about the million-dollar deal she's about to close. Eyeroll.)

Later that day, they called and asked if we had a half-cup of red wine for a recipe they were making. We did, but the bottle wasn't open. Annoying. THEN they came over and rang the doorbell just when we'd sat down to dinner, which wouldn't be a big deal in many households, but in ours, the doorbell sets off the lab-chow (BARK! BARK! I'MGONNAKILLWHOEVERJUSTRANGTHATBELL-BARK), which sets off the child to both scared and thrilled. (Who could it be?? So exciting! MAMA!) They were bringing over a taste of the resulting recipe so we'd know our wine sacrifice was put to good use, and it was delicious. That made me feel guilty for saying, 5 minutes eariler when the phone rang, "If that's the neighbors, do NOT answer it."

I'm a terrible person.

BUT! The Neighbors -- I feel like they need an official title -- never give up on us. Yesterday they called to see if AJ and I wanted to go have dinner with them at T-Mac, the excellent pub/bar around the corner. (I WANT it to be a "pub," but it's really a bar. It does have an international beer list of thousands, so that gives it some character, at least.) Without so much as a Sigh, I smiled and took them up on the offer. We rarely, if ever, go out on a Monday night, and since DH had to go take his drug test for the new job after work, I just decided What the Heck. We met them and their 2 kids, shared some medium-hot, extra-crunchy buffalo wings (YUM), and had the nicest time. We "dined" al fresco. Daughter Neighbor, 6 months older than AJ, had to go to the potty TWICE during our meal, so guess who else decided he did? That's right! AJ pee-peed TWICE on a public potty! His first time doing that! Thank you, Kelsey. I even ordered DH his favorite po-boy to go, which he scarfed down the minute he got home.

It's like we have real friends now or something.

So many people we know really socialize with their neighbors. Almost to the point of what DH and I think is crazy, leaving the doors (gasp) unlocked and just entering willy-nilly without knocking on each other's doors. Like, ...family. The kids play together every day, they spend nights all piled up at one house or the other, they eat meals together more often than not. Even my Mom's parents probably considered their longtime neighbors best friends. So I know it's DONE... it just hasn't really been done by us, yet.

I kind-of like it. If I can keep my eyes from rolling, we'll be good to go.

Easy, Breezy Recipe Friday

Baked Garlic Chicken
(and a contest*)

Forgive me -- I don't have amounts. But you're smart people. Eyeball it.

boneless, skinless chicken breasts
softened butter or margarine (Squeeze P'kay is easiest)
garlic salt
shredded parmesan


Holy cakes, this is easy:

Put some foil on a cookie sheet.
Put the chicken on the foil.
Put the butter on the chicken. (Spread it as evenly as you can.)
Sprinkly garlic salt over the butter.
Sprinkly (good typo!) cheese --be generous-- over the g-salt.
(You can salt and pepper if you like)

Bake it at 375-400 for 15 to 20 minutes.

ENJOY. This always comes out juicy and wonderful for me. Usually when I bake chicken breasts I can only stand to eat about 3/4 of mine before I'm over it. But with this, I lick the platter clean.

*Now: bonus points if you can guess when/where I first had this recipe, which is near & dear to my heart!

A four-note chord

1. I finally finished my book, and enjoyed it down to the last morsel of footnotes, but I was ready for it to be over. I was starting to think of nothing BUT the subject matter, and that was grating on my nerves just a bit. Still fascinated... possibly a bit obsessed... and after the book and some additional Internet research, I am definitely more historically informed. But after reading that deep well of stuff about other people's faith, it sort-of makes me want to go pick up -- I mean, heave up, the thing is about 900 pages -- my Catechism book. You know, the comforts of home. I should possibly get a little more obsessed with my OWN faith. Heh. My last word on this subject: In many ways, we're all not that different from each other. And I think religion might be the number one most interesting topic for study, period. It is rich with the study of everything else -- history, politics, government, society, life and death. I can't get enough.

- - - - - - - -

2. My friend and frequent commenter, sdw, had her baby girl! I am so glad for them all. Say a quick prayer, though: they're stuck for a few more hospital days while Baby has a few more tests to ward off infection. And poor Mama was required by insurance (I thought we had GOOD insurance, sdw... WTF?!) to move OUT of her hospital room while Baby stays. Rrrr. I know that's hard on her. By the way: sdw? = sister-daughter-wife, and also my friend's initials. :) SO NOW, she's SDWM!! M!!!

- - - - - - - -

3. This is funny: The other night I discovered the meaning of this blog. :) My little scavenger. I was all worried, thinking, "Crap! We just BOUGHT that stinking dryer, why is it so loud?? Now I'm going to have to start reading yet another blog.

By the way, I have a question. There seems to be some unwritten rule that, even though we all blog, we don't really TALK about the blog in real life. Is that how you guys see it? I mean, so many of us blog in secret, not sharing our real names. I'm not one to hide my blog from friends or family -- in fact, my whole nuclear family and several buddies read me -- but I always get this quirky twitch when my Mom says on the phone, "I liked what you said on your blog the other day." It just doesn't seem like that's DONE. I love that she reads! And tells me she likes it! It's just odd that my eye goes all Quasimodo when I hear the words "your blog" out loud. It seems like we're only supposed to talk about blogging ON the blogs, or at BlogHer. :) Love ya, Mom! Don't you dare change a thing! I just wondered if anyone else gets this itsy discomfort. Maybe I'm just a weirdo.

- - - - - - - - -

4. I might have accidentally let my Dingbat show yesterday. Last week the daycare handed out a letter that said "Teacher Appreciation Week" at the top. I didn't have time to read it word by word, but I know it also said, "Wednesday, bring a flower for each of your child's teachers." So yesterday, after AJ helped me carefully select the most beautiful grocery store carnations (cheap! cheap!) we could find, we pranced into his classroom and he elected to carry them around himself until his teachers arrived (we get there really early). I did notice the morning teacher was non-exclamatory about the flowers, and there also weren't any vases around, which the letter had promised. Hmm. THEN, I took my lunch break at Target to find some little gift-baggy items like lotions and chocolates, to be prepared for Friday's gift-giving (couldn't do that with AJ or he'd want all the chocolates for himself, right?) -- I shopped proudly, thinking, "I am so smart to do this today." It wasn't until I was driving to pick AJ up at 5:00 pm that I realized... the letter also said "May 7 - 11." I was a full week early. DURRR.

(For you music nerds, that last note was a minor 7th.)

Glimpse my weekend

Things that are cute:

--AJ sitting in church, "reading" the hymnal and singing "All-lay-loo-lah" to himself, to the tune of "Where is Thumbkin?" I did not teach him the song, only the word. Long time ago. I'm surprised he picked up on it but he always notices when the Gospel Acclaimation comes around. And he put the word together with the tune, which actually works quite well.

-- AJ eating baby carrots, a food he has traditionally despised, and exclaiming, "I LIKE cawwots!" The actual crunching and mmm-mmm-chewing, head bobbing up and down as he chews, is totally awesome, too.

--AJ playing Frisbee in the driveway. He'd toss it in a very… um… backwards fashion, then immediately run to go get it. Repeat, repeat, repeat. He fell down at one point, but ran away from Mommy who was trying to comfort him and/or wipe the small "strawberry" on his elbow. Wouldn't have any of it. TOUGH GUY. Just got back up to play some more.

--AJ napping on mommy and daddy's bed. Sacked out. Zero movement. 1 sleeping position (head underneath pillow), 2 full hours.

--AJ slurping an entire frosted orange, bite by slurpy, icy bite. No sharing with his Daddy. Obviously, he's an Atlanta boy through and through.

This IS the news of the day

Or, more appropriately:

The news... for today.

Prefacing with: it's not really MY news to tell. Until about 30 minutes ago, there was still some shuffling going on, making our stomachs flutter and our heads hurt. Can I just say something?

Decisions? Are Hard.

I've always struggled with the grand ones, and it turns out my husband has a time of it, too. He and I aren't well-versed in how these Official Professional Negotiations are supposed to go, either. Offer, counter-offer... can you back out once you've said, "I accept?" Should you? I mean, SOMETHING told your heart to accept in the first place... Aw, geez, it's just all questions. So what can we do but keep praying for peace in his heart and wisdom in his mind. He's a dear, good husband. And I want HIM to be happy. Not just me. Not us, collectively.... Him. It's his career we're talking about.

We are very grateful for the good people in our life, who support us and encourage us. And also (reluctantly) thankful for the others, who sometimes make life and decisions extra hard with their toxicity and selfishness. Because they make us face the toughest questions, and learn what's right and wrong. We learn what we don't want to be. I love you, honey. You're doing the right thing.

(Sorry to be vague, folks, but dooce is a verb.)

* * * * * *

I'm telling you, one of my parenting strategies has completely backfired. COMPLETLEY. Or, maybe not a strategy, but a method. If AJ asks me for something that he cannot have, instead of flat-out refusing him, I've been saying, "Wellll, how about we eat that chocolate tomorrow after lunch, instead, okay? Okay." Or something along those lines.

AJ uses it against me now.

"AJ, it's time to brush your teeth."

"Wellll, Mama, maybe tomorrow we will do that."

"AJ, do NOT pour your juice onto the couch."

"Wellll, but I haffff to."

"AJ, we can't go play with Kelsey [neighbor] right now."

"Wellll... I think maybe we CAN. Otay? Otay."

This really is NOT the news of the day

Bloggers love to award themselves for being fabulous. There are many popularity contests but this one's by far the best, because? Anyone can nominate, and you can vote for everyone! We all win! Hooray!

Seriously, though, I did NOT expect to be nominated, but I WAS. Because Mrs. Flinger is RAD. Check me out! I can legally display this:



I am so NOT the best parenting blog! Not even close! My hubby even said, "Um, you don't actually give parenting tips or anything. ARE you even a parenting blog?" Hmph. Alright, fine, here's my parenting tip for the day: Go ask someone else. Probably Moxie. Ha-HA!

My goodness, to share the stage with this person? And this one? And this? Call me starstruck because I'm about to get out my autograph book. (Dudes, Zach Braff!)

Okay, sorry for name-dropping. Just go vote for all of your favorite bloggers and nominate a few, too. Share the love. It will postpone your actual work for at least a half-hour, I guarantee. And when you're looking to postpone work, a half-hour is perfect. Gets your mind away juuuust long enough, but doesn't look like more than a blip of "administrative" on your time sheet.

Theoretically... If you maybe fill out a time sheet.

I have a friend who told me that, I mean. (cough!) Hey, too bad there's not a "Best Slackin'-On-the-Job Blog." I'd have that one sewn up.


P.S. Just noticing that pretty much NO ONE else is waving their fancy Blogger's Choice banners... Am I a superdork? Is there a post-it on my back?

Mountains of excitement!

I think DH just accepted the job.

I think he's telling his bosses right now.

I think -- squeeeee! -- this is going to be so great.

(I think big exciting things usually come with a weeeee bit of an adjustment period... eeks... but still.)

I think someone is earning stars in her Heavenly Crown by being so kind to me early this morning.

I gotta run. More details later... Thank you for your prayers about the jobby job.

Product placement

I am such a sucker for fun, or sappy, or hilarious commercials. I grinned approvingly at the recent one by Tide, where the couple goes to bed pouty, but by the magic of Lavender and Vanilla sheets, billowing down around them, they cozy up together happily by the end of the 30 seconds. It's got a catchy tune and is memorable. (Can't find it on YouTube or Tide.com) I had seen those Simple Pleasures detergents in the store and thought, "Oh Everyone's got to be aromatherapy now. They can't possibly be as great as they claim to be."

But. I. Was. Wrong.

I am in love with Lavender & Vanilla. I am doing laundry today, even though there is still ample room in the bottom of the hamper to push down our dirty clothes -- which usually means 2..., okay, 3 more days 'til I have to haul that crap downstairs. But I LOURVH smelling delicious without even trying. I sniff my shoulder every few minutes and WOW. Do you want to smell me? Because I rilly smell good today. Last week L&V was on sale and I had a coupon, so I bought 2 bottles. I may use them up by Friday. I've thought about getting out all my tablecloths and washing them, just so I can flap them around the house. I'm even washing Napleon's bath towels today because why should he get anything less?? He's OUR BEST DOG.

In other news, there's an interview happening today (right now) that could change in a very positive way the standard operating procedure of my household. And by that I just mean, one of us might not have to drive a 1-hour commute anymore, hallelujah. So if you can spare a little moment, just juke a prayer up for my husband. I'm holding my cell phone very gingerly, waiting for it to ring. He's been at the same company for 15 years, so this would be a Big change for him, if it came to be.

Memed again! Fun on Friday

Got tagged by darling Krissy a week ago, and haven't been up to the challenge yet. This is a fairly involved to-do list, and sometimes I don't like setting goals. It means you have to, y'know. Do things.

Personal Goals:

* Ah, well. Let's start with the easiest one to name: Get pregnant. Easier said than done, in some cases, although we're just out' the gate, not worried or anything yet. Seems I shouldn't call it a Goal so much as a Hope. Although with all the TTC (trying to conceive) websites and ovulation prediction kits and "chart stalking" and making Fertility your Friend... out there, you'd think it was a task you can master just like baking a souffle. Temperature has to be just right, put it in (the oven)... then Ding! If you've done it right, voila. It all seems a bit much on the scientific end.

* Do I have to say this out loud (again)? Eat better. Exercise more. Same as it ever was. (Same as it evah was!) We've been doing a lot better, I think. I've made fewer cream-soup casseroles in the last month and more grilled or baked things. More veggies. I was psyched to find Linda's tips since she makes it look so damn easy. But yeah, even avec baby, eat better. Perhaps I should throw out the Nestle eggs still rolling around my pantry. Since yesterday I ate four. At a time.

* Spend more quality time with husband and child. I'm thinking Game Night! AJ's almost figured out "Concentration," (Memory for those of you who didn't play it the old fashioned way), and Candy Land seems like a classic 3-year-old birthday gift to me. This will be awesome. Warm summer nights, lemonade for everyone, healthy competition. Maybe even invite the neighbors. (High hopes, Mama, hiiiiiigh hopes.)

* Be a better communicator. Oh, I need to work on this every day. Better communication with my coworkers, clients, family, neighbors, and friends. Especially friends -- I need to pick up the phone once in a while.

*And then there's the spiritual. How have come to this dry-bones spiritual place lately? I've just not been able to CONNECT with myself, with God, with prayer, AT ALL. It's fits and spurts. I got real pms-y ONCE in the last few months, I think, and prayed a Novena fervently. It helped, but after I finished those 9 days? Nothing. I just stopped praying again. Sigh. Perhaps a retreat this year would be helpful. (I don't really DO retreats. On second thought, no.)


Business/Financial

* I'd like to do additional side writing projects. Haven't done them in a long time, or any writing, really, since becoming a project mgr, so it will take some good stretching of my writer muscles. GOOD THING I've been practicing the fine art here on my blog. (..snort)

* I got a little raise recently. The goal is to put it, the entire %, directly into savings. Got to build that account back up after spending it all on the siding! (So we can spend it again on the AC. The deck. Et-freaking house ownership-c.)

* I can just copy my annual review here. I have a little post-it up on Le Cube to remind me: Increase knowledge -- Entrepreneurial outlook -- Think critically -- Leadership growth. (SIGH. I hoist my heavy pack and keep on trudging up this mountain. Ladder. Whatever.)

* I've got to really stop abusing parentheses. See above. And above that.


Don't think I'll tag anyone except for Beans (hello? echo...echo...), but if you're feeling inspired to do your New Year's Resolutions again, be my guest!

Nothing like waiting 'til the last minute

Got my thinker on last night, didn't I? Didn't I?? Weren't you impressed? That is what happens when I blog past 9pm.

But today, TODAY I have a real question and it's important. (Although I do still want to hear what you're reading.) We have a wedding to attend Saturday night. 6 pm. It's not black-tie. I need a dress. It's spring, so... color? But it's nighttime, so... black? Style? Is the spaghetti straps w/thin cardigan too cazzhh for an evening wedding? I think maybe it is. But, fashion challenged here. I'd love to find a pretty, light suit, because I need one anyway, but... appropriate? Prob'ly not. Dress, yes?

I have to go to Talbot's & Belk (because they're closest) at lunch -- LUNCH! 3 hrs from now! -- and cross my fingers that they'll have the right thing (on sale).

Any suggestions?

Edited: FOUND a dress! Maryb wins -- Ann Taylor LOFT had the best selection and price. Thanks for the tipoff!! I think I'll be appropriately dressy, with the right jewels. :) Whee! So fun to shop like a real actual GIRL and not just a Mom (at Target/Marshall's). Wish you all could have come with me. We could've gotten LATTES.

Me and chick-lit: On a break

I have been reading the greatest book. I can't tell you the name of it, because it covers a specific, rather sensitive topic: the religious extremists of a particular faith community. As you know, it could be any faith community... Christianity, Judaism, Islam, a Hale-Bopp-type cult, my own Catholicism... there are always extremists. So don't go trying to guess, I'm not here to flame anyone. This book, however, is fascinating, history-filled, and satisfies just about every curiosity I've ever had about this particular faith. In fact, it's THE book I've always wanted to read on the subject. It's comfirming some of my raised-eyebrow suspicions, but enlightening me in other ways. I'm totally immersed in it, probably because I've searched for the very specific and detailed information within these pages for YEARS.

I remember once in college, going to my favorite of my university's nine libraries -- the Theology library -- and prowling the basement stacks. Really dark, under-the-stairs basement stacks. No one else was in there. It was a rainy Sunday, there was a 40-watt glow lighting every third aisle... it's one of the most memorable days I ever spent studying, and I cherish that memory. I did it for my own mind, not because I had a paper due on the subject. Such pursuit! To learn! However, I never really was satiated that day. I found some reference stuff, some doctoral theses... but not this.

WHY I'm so intruged by this story is kind-of a mystery; but I am, so there it is. All I can do is soak it up and be satisfied. AND BOY, am I. Really, I think the idea of ANY faith and its unique history just calls to my heart. (To illustrate, these 2 textbooks were on my Amazon wish list for several years. I finally got them for my birthday last year and I was elated.) I want to KNOW where all the millions of different faith stories come from. I want to imagine hearing the first sermons and speeches of one, feeling the persecutions of another, being moved in different ways than I, myself, am naturally moved. I want to know why and wherefore. It's mind-blowing that some people's hearts pick up on some aspect of Christianity, for instance, and that aspect defines things for them forever, and they've found their faith home without question. And others look at that one aspect and go, "Hunh? What? THAT is your salvation? Handling snakes (for instance)? Not cutting your hair (for instance)?" And just don't get it. Aren't MEANT to get it.

We certainly aren't meant to understand the extremists, and while I don't want to dwell on the often violent results of their unconventional behavior, which this book talks about, it might be appropriate to think about psychosis and tragedy this week. And about "inspired" writings or preachers or interpretations.... or possibly insane, emotionally-scarred, exceedingly tragic such items. They haven't said too much about the VA Tech shooter's faith, and it's not a faith-based crime. But it's senseless, that's for sure, as were other tragedies, many of them this week in past Aprils, like weird Koresh's heinous Waco crimes and the subsequent results. Not to mention all the jihadists who do it, they say, for their version of God. All are examples that pierce us because they're truly connected to matters of faith: that which is supposed to carry us, nurture our feeble little minds through this life. Well, sometimes the mind goes wrong about who's right and who gets to Heaven, and who gets unlucky or abused or worse. And I find that interesting.

What to conclude? We'll never know the answers, I guess, until whatever we believe comes true or doesn't. It's a riveting mental quest for me. I think when I start my next book club book, Prep, by Curtis Sittenfeld, I'll welcome the lighter subject. But for now, I'm thrilled to be learning.

What're you reading?

Hamburger Helper

On Saturday I took AJ to the grocery store with me, as I wasn't sure what to make for dinner. DH was going to be at the hockey game (Thrashers in the playoffs!) which started at 3:00 pm, so it was uncertain if he'd make it home for dinner. I wanted to have something prepared in case, that wasn't fish sticks or nuggets, but also didn't require me to use my brain too much.

(Thinks to self: "Don't I have ground beef in the freezer already? Yeah, I think I do...") Ding, ding! Hamburger Helper? Perfect!

So cliche!! So "MOM." So 1980s! Ack. Seriously? I'm almost appalled. But AJ ate it right up, so I can't call it any less than a success. Hey, there are leftovers if you're hungry.

Potty training update

The more I've been reading about potty training, including all of your kind advice, the more I'm convinced he's just not QUITE ready.

> Can he pull his pants up and down by himself? (Almost, but not quite.)

> Is he telling you when he has to go? (No, never.)

> Is he upset or uncomfortable when he has a wet or dirty diaper? (No, he doesn't care.)

So I am trying to just be patient. It's very hard. I think Hubby is a little more anxious than I am, and I absolutely don't fault him for it. I'm anxious, too. Our friends, whose daughter is 4 months younger, are all done with potty training, and I know it feels like we're "behind" now. (HA! the jokes are so easy!) I, personally, am really sick of diapers.

AJ's teachers say he does really well at school, and is dry nearly every time they check/change/potty him. So I'm taking that as a big success, and enough for the moment. I wish I could have a regular day, a Saturday or Sunday, to let him wear underpants and take him with me to the bathroom every 2 hours like clockwork. But we don't HAVE any long days that aren't punctuated with "We have to go to the store/car repair shop/church/friend's house." Weekends are when we have to get errands and socializing done. I feel like if I had a couple of long good days at home, then I could start to go every 2 hours with him no matter WHERE we are.

Argh. This is all SO uninteresting.

Big strong man, swallowing his emotions

Yesterday, I bought AJ his first backpack. I had wanted to find one before Easter, but didn't manage it, so even though I told him, "We're not buying anything fun, just stuff we need," I broke my own rule. He was thrilled -- it's dark blue with a menacing Spiderman on the front of it.

When his Daddy came home, he showed AJ how to put the now-heavy backpack on his shoulders. AJ had filled it with every book he could find downstairs, and several issues of Sesame Street magazine. He could barely walk. But he did. Stood up as straight as he could, and, arms out for balance, slowly came toward me. "WOW, AJ, you are just like the big boys at school with that backpack!"

This morning after we got him dressed, he put it on again and clunked down the stairs with it bumping each step behind him as he went. "I look COOL with my backpack, isn't it, Mama?"

And then. We had been telling him he couldn't take all those books to school. I think there's some rule about no toys from home. I'm going to check with his teachers today, but we told him all morning he had to take the backpack off, just for today. When it came time to load up the car, he wailed. Two big crocodile tears trickled down his cheeks and I thought we were in for it -- another difficult drop-off. "Honey, we'll ask your teachers and maybe tomorrow, okay?" He considered, then repeated that last sentence. "I will ask my teachers." Then he took a deep breath and put down the backpack. "Maybe tomorrow if I want to take it to school, I can."

And that was that.

Tag and I'm it

There are people I know who refuse to do memes. There are people who get tagged and forget to do them, leaving bunches of "you've been taggeds" cluttering their to-do lists. Then there's me, casually reading my favorite bloggers la dee da, noticing a meme here and there, and each time, scrolling every-so-carefully down to the end, hoping I've been tagged. Hee! Guilty pleasure.

It was with great joy that I discovered Swistle's kind pass-on. The Three Things Meme. (Haven't I done this one before?)

Three Things That Scare Me:
1. possibly not making it to Heaven
2. solo vocal auditions
3. big car wrecks

Three People Who Make Me Laugh:
1. Heather B. Armstrong
2. Brian Regan
3. My husband, even when he's being so stupidly stupid in order to GET me to laugh when I don't FEEL like it (hmph). He does, every time. No matter how much I pout and try to ignore him.

Three Things I Love:
1. new (inexpensive) purses
2. 73 degrees outdoor temp
3. warm coffee + solitude + a good book or the newspaper on a rainy Saturday morning (specifics!)

Three Things I Hate:
1. Laundry screw-ups (like drying a shirt all the way when it isn't supposed to)
2. moldy leftovers
3. Cadbury creme eggs! (Tried 'em again this Easter, and still a no-go)

Three Things I Don’t Understand:
1. How people can afford the $800,000 homes in my area. Or anywhere. What the hell do these people DO for a living?
2. (YET) the exact connection in the plot of History of Love between Leo and Zvi (Swistle, you were reading this, yes?) -- such an intriguing book!
3. AJ's need to dump things (baskets of cars, buckets of animals, entire toy boxes)

Three Things On My Desk:
1. digital camera
2. Target list (Tide, dog food, razor blades, Kleenex, so exciting)
3. spiral notebook 'cause I'm old-school that way

Three Things I’m Doing Right Now:
1. recovering from a bit of a crying jag this morning (AJ's pitiful not-wanting-to-go to daycare; my pitiful wishing we could both just stay home today; my regretting not doing just that because WHY NOT)
2. feeling my feet go to sleep as I sit with them crossed under me
3. dreading a conference call this afternoon even though it probably won't be any big deal

Three Things I Want To Do Before I Die:
1. have another child
2. have a really good friend who lives close, who can (and does) drop in any time
3. retire with enough money to enjoy it

Three Things I Can Do:
1. conduct conference call "webinars"
2. resize a photo in Photoshop, or brighten it (but not much else)
3. make gumbo

Three Things I Can’t Do:
1. make a gumbo that isn't watery (I thought I'd achieved it yesterday, but no)
2. drive a stick shift
3. remember to take the coupons I've clipped INTO the store with me

Three Things I Think You Should Listen To:
1. U2
2. your heart! (big talker)
3. (I don't know, this question and the next one are puzzling to me)

Three Things You Should Never Listen To:
1.
2.
3.

Three Things I’d Like To Learn:
1. how to maximize my savings/earnings
2. to accept and bless my circumstances more often
3. how to be a better friend

Three Favorite Foods:
1. pizza every day of the week
2. apples + cheddar + crackers (best lunch)
3. steak fajitas with guacamole

Three Shows I Watched As A Kid:
1. Sesame Street
2. Mr. Rogers
3. The Smurfs

Three Things I Regret:
1. the aforementioned not-taking-today-off
2. ever saying "dammit" in front of AJ
3. buying so many "hand-wash only" items of clothing

Three People I'm Tagging (no pressure, just if it seems like fun to do):
1. gina - mom of liam
2. 4andcounting
3. Marybeth

In and around the ATL

After yesterday's largest traffic snafu in a while, which I got to see from the very center of it (Read: radio station IDIOTS!), I can see how the state legislature might want to consider alternatives to alleviate the rush-hour...um... "headache" seems much too weak of a word. The rush-hour Needles-Under-Fingernails Experience, or the rush-hour Gun-shot-To-The-Knee Experience, seem about right. Nevertheless, I don't think that an actual 4-day-work-week suggested by the Guv-ment is going to help. Mister Perdue? From those of us driving on the roads, here's a leeelte hint: Traffic is snarled from 7am to at least 6pm. That's already ELEVEN hours. So thanks for the thoughtful solution, but your 10-hour work-day? Yeah. That's what we call POOR (GEORGIA) MATH. But on Fridays I-75 would be all-clear!

We're staying in town for Easter, instead of trekking to and from Hubby's parents' in Savannah. We both feel some measure of guilt about this, but larger measures of relief. We will be dying eggs with AJ tonight, making "sacrificial gumbo" if I can get the veggies chopped quickly after work, then doing some much-needed yard work tomorrow (gotta prepare for the Bunny, after all! He probably needs to see his way through the jungle of grass and dandelions to hide all those M&Ms-filled eggs).

(Sacrifical gumbo is family tradition, because it's Good Friday and so we can't eat meat. Must eat shrimp. In Gumbo. DARN.)

We will try to attend our Last Hockey Game ever on Saturday, since we aren't buying a package of tickets next year (so we say!! But if we do well in the playoffs.... it will be hard to resist). I hope we find a babysitter. AJ needs a new Thrashers t-shirt, I think. :)

We're hoping that the freeze warning for tonight doesn't mean that Atlanta's annual Easter GLORY -- azaleas, dogwoods, forsythia -- gets cruelly killed. I doubt there'd be any Sunday resurrection for the flowers, which is a shame 'cause it'd be a REALLY cool metaphor.

Small Change update

Hey, friends, head over to Playgroup Dropout and see what people have been doing for others this month. I feel that since I display her banner, I should talk up Beth's great initiative. She resolved, and recruited us all, to do just a little bit, each month, to help people. Specifically, kids -- and who can resist helping kids?!

This past month's challenge was to maybe give up something that you normally take for granted -- like lunch out on Wednesdays, or take-out dinners, or your weekly margarita, and donate that money to charity. Even if it was only $15. "SMALL" Change, y'understand. It timed out just perfectly with Lent, and I had given up GrandeNonFatNoWhipToffeeNutLattes at Starbuck's toward that cause. (THREE DAYS LEFT!) I added it all up yesterday -- 2x a week, times 6 weeks, times $4.00... Well, I'll be darned, that's $50 to St. Jude's! I've always wanted to support them, so thanks, Beth, for pushing me to DO IT. (But DURN those commercials, Marlo Thomas! I cannot watch them with a mouse, I cannot watch them in a house.)

It does feel nice to share. I'm not good at charity. We give to the church, but it's not as much as we could give. And we don't do Habitat, or soup kitchens, or any of that. I know I need to learn how though, and teach kindness and help-others-ness to AJ someday. So I think this Small Change idea is a good way to start that. I will say that sharing from my MasterCard is a little less painful than out of my actual pocket, but since another of my recent initiatives is to pay that sucker off, maybe it will be okay, and appropriately sacrificial and good. :)

It's Your Thing

AJ has this funny habit that I didn't think I'd ever blog about, to protect his little dignity when he's all growed up and has a girlfriend who wants to read this. (Eek! Ever think about that? A girlfriend??) So here I am, about to share too much.

When the little guy feels the, uh,... digestive urge he hops down from whatever seating arrangement he's in, sticks his little rear end out behind him, cranes his neck forward, and runs around. Awkwardly. WHILE he's, you know... Pooping. When he's all done, he'll come back to whatever he was doing, all casual. But during, he's like a little pinball, bouncing off couch and chair, or in and out of the room. Butt stuck out.

At first all we could do was giggle in bewilderment. "What in the world makes him want to run around?!" Then we started thinking, "If we encourage this, potty training could possibly be difficult." On the other hand, the books say if the kid is wanting to be alone, or get away, when all that digestive stuff is going on, that's a sign he's nearing readiness. So we thought maybe we should acknowledge it, and tell him "Good Job," ...or something.

So we'd say, "AJ, whatcha doing?" And he'd say, completely in stride, "I'm jes poopin'."

(This has been going on for weeks now (okay, months), and can I just say we are still pretty much confounded as to how to transition it into actual potty-time. Argh. It's still funny, but getting less so as he gets older.)

Recently, I was out on a Saturday morning, and AJ started prepping for his little constitutional jog. Hubby suggested, "AJ, hey, it looks like you're about to poop -- let's go try on the potty." And AJ replied, "Just lemme do my thing."


*blinking eyes*


Um... okay. Here's where I can turn it into a Blawg Entry and say, "Isn't he so independent and courageous? Wanting to march to his own drum." Or... "Isn't that how we all should treat each other? Just let your fellow man Do His Thing."

Instead, I'm stuck in the "How-To" part. So many theories and ideas about potty training. Which one's actually going to work? His teacher suggests, since AJ's such a big fan of movies, to put the potty in the living room and let him watch a movie, as long as he sits on the potty. I could do a chart, but I don't think stickers ON the chart would work for him (he prefers to take stickers OFF). I know of the whole Naked method, and I like the idea, but he can't very well run around naked at daycare, and I'm not sure if stripping down for the 4 hours we have between pick-up and night-night is going to cut it. MB, mother of 3 boys, tells me to just sit tight, and right at three (3 months from now?) is when he'll likely GET it.

I'm fixated on this next milestone. I can't find my peace/patience with it or just dig my heels in and push through it (heh). I know it's not as big of a deal as I'm making it, but just let me do my thing.

(Or, if you have advice, please to share.)

Sitting here thinking, with visuals

I have now missed Lost 2 weeks in a row. Last night I caught the very last 6 minutes, which basically gave me enough to go on, but I totally wanted to see last week's about Locke, and didn't, and we didn't tape it. Guess I'll be looking for it on iTunes or abc.com later. So I'm grateful for the Inter-web. But ticked at the television execs. 10:00 pm is not prime-time, you guys. 10:00 pm is bed-time.

They're finishing up the last of our new siding. Our house is all glorious and neat. No more rotted boards here! Now if I could just clear the yellow pollen off, the place would be lovely. Check out the allergy-fiesta:
Doesn't it just make you want to sneeze?! Ge-ross. I see people trying to wash their cars and I say to myself, "WHO do you think YOU are?"


Some other things on display at my house currently (get to know us!):


Construction-zone fodder. Pardon our Progress! AJ loves that there are ladders and tools lying around everywhere. And he loves The Men. He wants to find them and TALK to them after school every day. "Where Mister Alan?" he asks.



Dora the Bore-a. I mean, Explorah. I've just about memorized The Chocolate Tree episode. Definitely ready to move past this favorite. (Is it next week yet?)



Mr and Mrs. Kitchen Chicken, who lived at my Grandmother's house for so many years, and have been handed down to me (by request). I love them! (Please disregard DH's drill, with which we haven't yet installed the hold-backs for our new curtains. And I'm in no hurry for some reason. Sigh. We're such procrastinators.)



My newest little additions! That's Basil, Cilantro, Chive, and Parsley, germinating. They're a Ch-ch-ch-chia! product! Ha! I don't think the kitchen decor suffers any more than usual by adding these trendy Ziplocs to the mix. Note to self, turn the Texas tile right-side-up. (It fell over during the hammering-storm outside yesterday.)

I feel like I have a lot to do in the next few weeks. Did I mention there's an audition coming up Saturday, in my performance chorus? For a solo (Vivaldi's Gloria: Laudamus Te) that I really really wanted. I say "wanted," and not "want," because my heart's kinda not in it the last few days. I think I could conceivably GET this one, but... I don't know. Maybe the fact that Hubby won't be at the concert (it's the same night as a wedding we're invited to) is contributing. But it's not so much that, it's just one less thing I'd have to stress about. PMS maybe? Who knows. I may or may not try out.

Then there's Easter. I have not put out a single decorative bunny 'though I whined about ribbons yesterday. Maybe I need to do that. Maybe it will perk up my mood. I think we're traveling to Savannah for the holiday. Will be nice to take an extra day off and let AJ get spoiled by his grandparents.

Y'know what I really hate?

• The Yahoo! mail beta. It is so slllloooooowwwwwwwww and jumpy!! The old interface was butt-ugly, but at least it didn't feel like an e-ternity before I could see my e-mail. It was why I preferred Yahoo! mail to Comcast and Hotmail, both of which I have accounts for. I could totally send that "I've changed my email" message that everyone hates to get, telling my friends and family to switch me, thus becoming the pain in their ass for the 3 minutes it takes to open Address Book/Copy/Paste. (It really is a pain, isn't it?) But I didn't do that. Yahoo! I loved you! I stuck by you! But you're a poseur and I've decided I don't like you anymore.
  
• My inability to shop properly. I've mentioned this affliction before. My Mom knew, when I was a teen, that I could only go for a few hours before I was cranky and bored with it. And now, what with being in charge of my own money and all, I like it even less because it means PARTING with said money. Boo. I was in Old Navy recently, however, and I think if I could go in there once a week, and buy one item, I could have a pretty decent wardrobe lined up here by at least Beach Week. Except the thought of spending ALL that money (NOT! Old Navy's the cheapest of the cheap for heavens' sake!) gives me the shivers. Boo. I am so annoying. (Even when I have $260 in my pocket. That's right -- hubby said "Take it, it's yours." So now I've gotta muster up the courage to Spend It.)
  
• The complete lack of a Michael's or a Hobby Lobby or a dang JoAnn Fabrics around my office or my home. I mean, a girl's gotta get her craft stuff, peeps. EASTER IS COMING!!! I can't tell you how frustrating it is for me to not have ONE INCH of pastel grosgrain ribbon anywhere in my house, and no way to get it except on a Saturday with a 20-minute commute attached. On Saturday! (Why do I need grosgrain? I don't know. To wrap eggs with. To decorate. I just NEEEEEEED it. Shut up.)

I'm a little grumpy.

Yard sale take

I got in a tad bit of trouble for my comment about the Rusty Wallace print. We were moving the last of the stuff up to the garage Thursday night, and hubby lifted it up and said, "You know? Maybe I'm going to KEEP this print... I mean, it's AUTOGRAPHED. And I do really LIKE this frame." Heh. He got me there. I was all SORRYs and IT'S NOT THAT BADs, and he said it was okay, but if I EVER made fun of his Bill Elliott print... ! (Guess he DOES read the ol' blog!) But all's well that ends well -- someone gave him $10 for it. :) We made about $260 total which felt like a pretty good deal for other people hauling away our junk. It was a yard sale fiesta -- my next-door and across-the-street neighbors joined in, so we were shouting across the yards: "I can't believe you just sold a TOILET!" and "My Halogen lamp's in better condition than yours, nyah!" It was actually sorta fun.

.... ... .. . .... ... .. . .... ... .. .

Swistle wanted to create her own meme, and I say, GO HER and her 3rd-trimester self! So ambitious! So forward-thinking! :) Hee. It's about perfume. Name 3 (or however many) perfumes that mean something to you. I think this is ladies' perfumes only, but I am not certain on that. Here are mine:

Tommy Girl - I wore it when DH and I started dating. Pushed the "Pause" button for a couple years, but this Christmas I got a new bottle. It's my favorite, on me.

Cristalle by Chanel - My Sis and I used to be allowed to wear this when we were young. It was really HER first perfume, but I adored it. Haven't seen it in years, I don't even know if it's still being made. But it's young and fresh, and reminds me of sweet innocent childhood.

Jessica McClintock - This one means "Mother" to me. Mom's been wearing it for a long time and even if she changed her perfume and chose a new one (and you can, Mom, feel free), THIS one will always make me think of her. :) Want to play? Go ahead!

A new item for That Topic. Yeah, that one.

(The one that makes moms say what they think, then *duck for cover*.)

I heard something on NPR the other day that made me, personally, feel better about some of my mom-guilt. It was this:

New study shows working moms today spend as much time (or more) with their kids than SAHMs of the '70s.

So me? working mom? Doing as much for and with my kid as my mother, upon whose generous, wonderful example I would love to pattern my own mother-journey.

YAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYY!

Here I was, all pouty and "boo, I don't get to spend enough time with my ittoo bittoo wuzzums, isn't it saaaad?" when it's about the same amount of time (if you'll pardon the generalization) as I was given.

(I mean, I've known AJ was going to turn out fine, but this confirms it This lets me know "I'm OKAY.")

It's true my SAHM wasn't with us 24-7. I don't remember the toddler years, but the summers and holidays? No. We played. She did needlepoint. (I'm kidding, Mom!) But you know what I mean. What the report is saying, is that Moms of the previous generation worked super-hard at keeping house and cooking 3 squares. My generation? Has cut out a lot of that to make room for quality kid-time. Our Moms weren't told by Baby Einstein that they had to "engage" their kids and jump-start their educations with "learning toys" and such from age 3 days. So they maybe didn't.

Not saying our Moms didn't do enough! Just the opposite. And not to glorify fast- or freezer-foods in favor of Quality Time, of course. But it's just the way the world has turned. They didn't even MAKE Lunchables back then. ;) Lucky us, we have them now!

I'll certainly concede that TODAY's at-home moms are spending much more time with their kids than I am with mine. And more time than the '70s SAHMs, too. I'll also add that the last sentence from that article:

"...in general, I would agree that working moms put their children first, their jobs second, and themselves last."

shouldn't use the qualifier "working." All moms rank it that way. Themselves last. It's nature.

But just the fact that I'm doing statistically as well as my own mom did? Oh, you can't know how relieved that makes me feel.

(The NPR story was better than that article above, but you have to have RealPlayer.)

Exclusive Crap for Sale!

All items priced to move

... white Halogen lamp (barbequed fruit flies included, no extra charge!): $5 (you have to say "fi dollah!")

... matching set of yellow pencil-drawn Big Cats (1 cheetah, 1 lion). Brown wood frames. Testament to 1978: $5 for the SET!

... Wilson Tennis racket and black vinyl shoulder-strap case that I thought was OHSOCOOL when I was on the middle school tournament circuit: $2!

... RoomsToGo coffee table and end table in "brushed maple," no scratches (cough): $25 for both!

... Rusty Wallace SIGNED print, with "kick-ass frame" (acc'd to DH) -- not unlike this one, but about 15 years older and dustier. (Bless Hubby's sports-lovin' heart, but this thing is ugly!): $10 (Hey, we live in Georgia, it could happen.)

... Seven Denise Austin VHS tapes (from the poufy bangs and leotards era): quarter apiece

... Good Lordy, the MUGS. and the VASES. Get 'em while they LAST, people: quarter apiece!

... Xbox. Plain, not 360. SO three years ago: $40 (big ticket item)

... oversize Express blouses from 1989 (or so), peg pants, real (not faux) plastic rain slicker, couple of darling 'business suits' -- fashion savvy *not* included: ONE DOLLAH!


(... my pride: priceless)

Some endings

This weekend we found out that a couple we like is splitting up. That's how they said it, too, "splitting up." Not "divorce," because that word's much too hard to stomach. I've been warned before that the 10-year mark is when you sometimes see your friends' marriages start to break up; these friends had been married about 11 years. Right out of college. We thought they were actually perfect for each other; both talkers, both "refined tastes," (in their own minds, at least), both uninterested in having kids. So it's strange to hear the Mrs. say, "We were good roommates, but never got the marriage right." I took her phone call on the back porch where I could listen without the interruptions of my own happy marriage -- namely, AJ, in his Saturday-morning-excited voice. My mom put it well when she said that, even though it doesn't make me worried or overly sad -- I know they'll get through this just fine, they're 2 strong people -- they were part of mine and Hubby's "anchor to the earth." Jacques and Christina. They just Went Together. They were a fact.

Now comes the weird part of sorting out the friendships. Whom do we stay in touch with? Or, if both, does it have to be me with her (sorority sister), and Hubby with him? Because I actually love talking to Jacques -- he is passionate about cooking and food, he and I share Louisiana & Catholicism in our blood... so that'll be odd if some ties have to be cut. I hope not.

We also heard that another friend, who has battled cancer the last ten years or so, has been taken from the treatment center to her mom's house... and "she's being given pain medication." Two kids involved in that one, so sad. No telling how long she has, but her liver was mentioned, too, so I'm guessing not long. She's remained so strong and faithful throughout the whole thing -- I don't know her too well; her husband and I went to college together -- but... man. There's just nothing to say about it besides It's not fair, and not right and too, too sad.

It makes me, no surprise, appreciate the everyday goodness that is our life. I hate to have to be reminded that each day is precious. Each meal, each laugh, each glance. I hate to be too sentimental because it feels cliche. Maudlin. But there it is. I can't help it.

To counter, we have at least two weddings to attend in the next few months, and at least 2 babies are being born in our circle. I like a good balance.

I want to stick around and tell some funny AJ stories, but I have work that needs doing. He's cracking us up with his, "I rilly need some Spidey cookies, Mama." (Me: "You do? Really?") "...yeah, I lure do." (yesterday at Publix). After that it was a rather long evening -- he had about 4 mini-meltdowns, for various non-reasons. But these are the little trials and treasures we have to be grateful for.

Speaking of treasures: Yard sale this Saturday! Maybe later I'll tell you what we're unloading. Maybe we'll have a laugh. :)

This is my 500th post

I know! Do I EVER do my real work?! ha!

I'm pretty sure all of my secret 2-liners sitting there as "drafts" count toward the total, but I'm not going to count them all up to confirm. I am going to pretend I deserve some sort of glory for this random number and go ahead with ma bad self, reflecting. I could write a haiku, in fact:

five hundred blog posts.
Much ado about nothing,
but oh, my sweet life.

Much "ado" about every golden syllable that's run from AJ's mouth. (Lately: "I tooted.") And every squeeze of emotional juice I can get from the wee hours of the night. And happy sunshine times on the driveway. And good lord, the memes. (...this is getting to be like a "flashback" episode of a sitcom! Annnnnnd now you're changing the channel! Bye!)

I don't know, sometimes, why we all continue doing this. I don't know if my descendants (or even my husband) will ever go back and read every word I've clickety-clicked. But I like doing it. I like when it comes out good. I like when I make myself laugh, and think, "I can sorta be funny, how 'bout that?" I like sharing myself with some of my closest friends and family in real life. I especially like meeting the nice people who come here, not knowing me from Adam, and tell me, not in so many words, that they like me. It's nice to be liked. :) And then I get to read about their kids' golden syllables, and their wee hours, and feel a part of something. Plugged-in. Included.

It's not about a theme, or THE thing that sets me apart from any other mom-blog out there. It's just my journey. My book of days. We sang a (terrible contemporary) hymn the other day at Mass, and it went:

"...let no one walk al-ooooone,
The Journey makes us One."

Cheesy enough to make my chorister skin crawl, but it makes a point. This is about life. It is ups and downs and curves and arrows and dead-ends and hidden pathways, too.

Hello, self... (I do like to imagine I'm talking to myself) ...You are still becoming, my dear. But you're in there. You're living - working - playing - praying - singing - collecting - dorking around - reading - bearing - sharing -- a dandy little life. :) Pretty cool.