Things I am thankful for, re: our trip

• Because my brother in law was away, we got to sleep in his very comfortable king-sized bed (we usually have an older, floppy full-size).
• Emeril's Butternut Squash, Sausage and Wild Rice soup added a special touch to our turkey dinner (at least to me it did).
• We had a nice lunch with some family friends on Saturday, and got AJ and DH fitted for their wedding tuxes -- the mall was deserted by Saturday!
• My MIL really restrained herself, I think, with the Christmas gifts for AJ. We didn't have to rent a U-Haul to get them all home (an improvement over last year)! Also, am thankful that she's so generous and wants him to have one of everything. :) Also, am thankful that she didn't load ME down with Christmas tchotchkes ("Here, take this, it's so cute").
  
• While excessive, the 4 Xmas gifts he DID get to open from family friends were very cool and he's played with all of them a lot already.
• The bathroom remodel at MIL's house -- new counter and cabinets! Pretty!
• Staying up late Friday night to watch The Departed. I don't know why but that made me happy.
• Of course, turkey-dressing-cranberry-sauce sandwiches.
• AJ said he had so much fun, and was sad to leave Gammy's house, and that is how it should be for a kid. :)
  
• Traffic was not that bad coming or going.

How was yours? Did you survive your annual family drama? (I made my own, in my head, but I *think* I managed to keep my opinions to myself and my general demeanor pleasant. I hope so; I can be a brat and know I need to work on the demeanor thing. I likely won't talk about it here, btw. If you can't say something nice, and all.)

Welcome to the Christmas season! (My to-do list is a mile long!)

There is no one in my office but me

When I used to ride to work with DH, we came to the office really early, and sometimes arrived before anyone else. I always liked that "silent time" and was always slightly disappointed when the next worker-bee would trudge up the stairs. Today is the pseudo-holiday, so lots of folks are out and it's been a loooong time since I've been alone in the cube farm. (Or alone, period, really, save my commute-time.)

Alone is GOOD.

I used to relish time alone when I was a kid -- I remember going into my closet, flipping the light on and shutting the door, just playing by myself or reading, listening to a record, or rearranging my stuff on the shelves. It was like a whole secret room and no one else was allowed. (The cool thing about that closet? It was wallpapered and carpeted. Go my parents! Nice feature!)

This morning while driving I listened to "The Rosary is a Place," the CD I won from Et tu's Jen a few weeks ago. I was convinced that I would think it hokey, despite my great love of Christian music and such, especially the heartstrings-tugging kind that makes me cry sometimes. But the rosary, recorded? Hmm. I knew my soul probably needed that CD, and that's what I'd told Jen, but... I don't know. As Maggie says, I'd probably rather be watching TV.

However, the CD is... nice. It has a gentle-looking Franciscan priest on the cover, and I like the Franciscans. They staffed our parish when I was a kid so they feel like "home." And I like saying the Rosary once in a while during the ol' morning rush-hour. I don't know if that makes me odd, or a religious nut, but it's sure a heck-of-a-lot more calming than watching the cars around me, or listening to NPR talk about Pakistan AGAIN. (I love NPR, too, but I swear, sometimes they get a story and won't.let.it.go. coughHurricaneKatrinaVictims'Plightcoughcough! I don't want to hear any more about Per-Vez Musharraf or however you spell it.)

Anyway. So far today, that's been my theme. Quiet. Meditation. Nice music and prayer. And I think that's a fitting way to go into the Thanksgiving holiday, especially one that is so often about loud dinner guests who've had too many bourbon-and-Cokes, or the familiar discomfort of having a snarky great-aunt, or just COPING with those we love the best. Heh. Perhaps the least-treasured American Thanksgiving tradition, but tradition all the same. I'll be with my in-laws... and the three bounding dogs and the TV-always-on and the talky talky. It's just us, a small group of five, and I really love my in-laws: It's just not quiet there. (Is Thanksgiving quiet anywhere? I rather doubt it.)

Here's hoping you find your own hushed moment somewhere to give thanks, a full plate of side dishes (which we all know are better than the turkey anyhow), and laughter all the way around the table. Happy Holiday.

Experiment

In an attempt to survive Drought Watch 2007, I have initiated a little test at my household. (Not survive the drought, mind you -- just the drought watch. The guilt of the media blitz. No one's going to survive the drought. See below.)

Hypothesis: A little family of three can go three whole days (until we leave for the water-rich lands of south Georgia) without running the dishwasher at all.

Materials: Paper plates, knives/forks/spoons, etc.

Process: (Don't turn on the dishwasher, Einstein.)

Results: TIME WILL TELL.

Honestly, the whole thing has me so perturbed right now. I'm TIRED of not flushing the goll-darn toilet. AJ told me yesterday, "Mama, your pee-pee doesn't smell very good." THANKS, KID, NEITHER DOES YOURS. I'm TIRED of feeling like I can't shave in the shower (even though it's pretty darn hard at 6 months preggers and I'd be lying if I said I'd do it every day under normal circumstances -- hello, it's PANTS season.) I'm TIRED of driving a dirty car. Of having theh saaaame chalk drawings on the sidewalk that last 4 weeks because there's been NO RAIN (I like variety). Of squirting the tiniest bit of water into a spaghetti sauce pot, then wiping that DIRTY WATER around in an attempt to clean the pot -- all because I feel guilty about doing dishes PROPERLY.

I shouldn't joke but it's feeling like we're headed for third-world country status over here. Meanwhile, the Army Corps of Engineers is required to let, what is it, 28 million gallons? of water flow downstream every DAY to save the stinking mussels in Florida. (Sorry, Florida.) Now I love a good bowl of mussels in cream sauce, don't get me wrong! And I know, endangered species, circle of life, the more that die out, the farther up the chain the endangering will go. But seriously? It's about to already REACH the top of the food chain -- us little ol' humans. We are 20 feet away from crisis, here. I.E., they say no drinking water in 79 days. DISASTER! Y2K all over again! ALARM! ALARM! ALARM!

I'll admit the news is making it worse with their doomsday nonsense, but somehow the urgency does not seem to compute in the brains of the bureaucrats. Anyway, I'm sick of the whole thing. What I love best is that 79 days is approximately 2.5 months... and approximately the time I'll need to deliver a new human, water-consuming child into the world! Awesome! (Note to the governor: If I breastfeed, I will need to reserve at least 64 oz. a day for myself. Thank you.)

I'm torn between wanting to conserve, a la my experiment, and just wanting to live my life and use it all up -- the government morons are the ones who didn't plan this city right, why should *I* suffer for it??

SIGH. At least I have chocolate-chip-pumpkin muffins stored in the freezer. You know, for emergencies.

Taste of winter

Starbucks was packed this morning which tells me everyone wanted a hot drink to accompany them to work. (Mine, alas, was not the Toffee Nut latte I love, because they were out of toffee nut syrup. A combo of almond and hazelnut, however, almost matched. FYI.) I wanted to befriend, or maybe, lick!, everything in there, it was all so yummy -- I walked inside, versus the drive-thru route I usually take, hoping to actually FEEL the chill in the air -- the lime green and red combo they've chosen, the cool packages of "Christmas blend," the cute little coffee-cup-shaped ornaments (I want!)... it was all shiny and cozy and very inviting.

I wore my favorite red wool double-breasted coat, but it doesn't quite fit over my silhouette, so I think I'll have to purchase a maternity coat. I guess it'll be cold-ish until baby's born, and that's 3 full months away -- so, a necessity. I also wore a scarf that I won from this lovely lady way back in March, and I love it.

AJ wore his cousin's poufy ski-type coat, so generously given to us, and looked like a little Michelin man this morning, toddling off to school, hood and all.

It was in the 20s in our corner of the north Georgia suburbs.

Read-ums

I just LOVE being pregnant at the same time as 2 of my favorite bloggers, because sometimes they get it JUST RIGHT and I get to smile knowingly and say, "YEAH."

Please believe me and go read this, and this.

Fun, fun pregnant girl stuff.

ON the other hand of fun pregnant girl stuff: I am having some wicked carpal tunnel pain today, like a "click" in my wrist that won't click. Rrr. I never have carpal tunnel clickiness when I'm not pregnant. Also, I'd like some boiled shrimp and cocktail sauce, please. NOW. Just sayin'.

Eyes, flowers, socks, and more

I have a big fat list of things to do but I am SO procrastinating this morning. LagLiv tagged me and bless her heart! I seriously needed a bit of a distraction, so it's the 7 Things Meme, coming to you live from my cube in Atlanta. Surely I've done this one before, yes? Oh well, who cares.

Also: GoodLord, there are 31 entries in my "memes are awesome" category.

Here's the meme info:
- Share 7 random and/or weird facts about yourself.
- Tag 7 random people at the end of your post, and include links to their blogs.
- Let each person know that they’ve been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.


1. We'll go with random and not weird, to start with -- I have hazel eyes. I am just about the only person I know with hazel eyes, although my dad used to have them, I think. His have seemed blue to me for ages now; for a time he wore blue contact lenses, and then he had lasik... anyway I can't quite remember the story on his eyes but MINE are unmistakably hazel and one of my favorite things about my own appearance - you know, when I am doing a self-love exercise. :) I secretly hope that baby girl might get hazel eyes, too. AJ's are his daddy's deep gorgeous brown.

2. I just had to get up and go to the ladies room to check my own eyes out, after writing all that. This could be heading toward vanity; now I feel like I ought to confess it. Although I did also have to pee.

3. My favorite flowers are stargazer lilies. I just learned that besides innocence and purity, they are said to represent wealth and prosperity. I therefore think I should display them much more often, to call down these things straight from the heavens or flower gods or whomever.

4. One of my biggest pet peeves is when I'm walking around the house in sock-feet and get them wet. *SHUDDER!!* I have to take off the offending sock IMMEDIATELY because it makes me so mad. LAST night, and this gives me the willies just telling you, I was making dinner and sloshed a bit of... raw chicken juice (ew) onto the floor... and then stepped in it!! Aaaaaaghghghghghghghhgg! So. Grozs. Let us never speak of it again.

5. I am turning into my mother in so many ways. I've found a little pad of what I would call "scratch paper," and the other day I counted four or five different little notes, written on these 4x5-inch papers, crowding my purse. Heh.

6. Want to know some of the random things I'll do at work today? Fill out an expense report, create a project site for my new client, write-up an online survey, (check my blogs), sign up for MyRackspace, and order a 2008 calendar.

7. I can't decide which kind of calendar to get! I've had a big "blotter" for the past few years, but I think I want to go back to the old-style appointment book.... LIKE MOM KEEPS! I think these are the BEST kind of calendars and used them throughout college. I keep my Google calendar on this view, too. Yes, I keep paper and Google calendars. AND a "picture" calendar hangs in the kitchen at home. What? Don't you keep several? I'm always tempted to take the free ones they give out at church, too.

So now to the tagging... Devan! Marie Green! Electric Boogaloo! Majilla! Swistle! MaryB! and.... dang, I just can't think of a 7th (so many of you, I tag all the time!) If you want it, have at it. :)

It's my kindness, preventing me from posting

I know you all have too many NaBloPoMo participants to keep up with, so I'm posting light to keep your blog-surfing time at the appropriate (HA) time limits. (I know I'm behind in reading all these prolific over-achievers.)

I don't know that I'll EVER do NaBloPoMo. I hate feeling like I *need* to post, when I don't feel like I have the juice. I also hate posting, "I'm busy," because WHO ISN'T. Site launches, work trips, house stuff, holidays... blah blah... Shut up, self. Some people have five kids, you think YOU'RE busy?

But dude. I'm pretty much over this last 2 weeks. And the next ones, too, if you want to know the truth. We got some stuff done over the weekend -- dropped stuff off at Goodwill, Most Excellent Husband vacuumed -- but there's still more to do.

Let's change the subject. My MIL has been asking what I want for Christmas, so I've been thinking about that. DH and I find it interesting that we always give MIL ideas -- we feel like it's a courtesy, not greedy, and she asks, after all -- yet she never reciprocates with ideas for her, so we always end up buying her no-thought-required gifts like Yankee Candles. LAME. Anyway, here's what I want:

Some big (well, medium sized) silver hoop earrings.
Some Large or XL comfy pajamas (for the hospital, mainly -I'm vain, I want cute pictures).
Baby registry stuff -- diaper bags and crib bumpers are SO for the mommy! Not the baby!
iTunes, Starbucks, Barnes & Noble, and Target gift cards. Fistfuls of them.

I think it gets harder and harder, as you age, to give these sorts of wish-lists. I mean, yeah, I could always use a nice lotion or necklace, but those don't seem like things you ask your relatives for, do they? They should know about those things -- they're the "default" items. Hostess gifts. And I am just not watching DVDs lately or listening to CDs. (Nor do I get that excited to open either one, anymore.) Maybe *I* am just lame!

Okay, your turn: what wishes will you tell Santa this year?

Tidbits

-- I bought one Disneyworld thing for myself: a tiny pair of 12-dollar, graphite/rhinestone Mickey earrings. The kind without a back, that just hang in your ears. Then Monday? At my Publix? One of them fell out onto the black and white speckled floor. Even the deli counter girl came out to help -- but we searched in vain. SOB!

-- AJ got a Buzz Lightyear "Blaster" toy, and didn't seem much interested in it at first. But since getting it home, we have had shooting contests in the hallway every spare second. He says, "Ready?.. ain?... GO!" I think he's a Space Ranger First Class by now.

-- My manager has started having our Tuesday meetings at a brand-new Target! With a Starbucks inside! This is called Heaven.

-- Toasted cinnamon raisin bread -- or bagels, in my case -- will always remind me of my Grandmother. She used butter, I use Philly, but the warm, sweet smell is just the same.

Scattered, smothered, and covered

Where to begin? I feel like I want to capture every second (well, almost every one) from our trip because parts of it were really, truly magical, just like all those Disney brochures promise. We made sure to tell ourselves it was all about AJ, and that we would just endure the stress of travel and the long lines for rides, because that is what you do. So, to begin:

When we waited in the Atlanta airport and AJ behaved well, never running far from us, not being loud, EATING a CHICKEN SANDWICH (not something I thought was on his "acceptable" menu), I was proud. He wouldn't play on Delta's little plastic play-yard (a husky-style slide and whatnot) because it was pink and purple and he deemed it "girly." His exact phrasing. I was amused.

When we got on the airplane and he was fascinated by all the playthings like a seatbelt -- "How does this work, Mommy?" -- and the button for the overhead reading light (onoffonoffonoffonoff), and the tray table, oh dear, the tray table... I was worried. Thank goodness the clip was a little too hard to turn and he couldn't manage it very well on his own.

When our plane finally found the runway and geared up to GO FAST, his eyes grew wide and he knew something was happening, and he kept saying, "Here we GO, Mama!" louder and louder over the sound of the engines. I was choked up. Take-offs usually make me emotional, the daughter of a pilot, as I imagine my Dad in his own little-boy enthusiasm -- did his work feel like that every time? Here we GO! The RUSH and the WONDER of flight? If so, I'm very proud of him for spending his life doing something that he loved, and happy for him that he had the chance. It also usually makes me think of his brother, who died last year doing the same little-boy-love activity in an antique plane. So I was kind-of a mess there. But AJ kept me laughing. He wanted to tell his Daddy, too, who is NOT as keen on the miracle of flight, and was trying to just close his eyes and endure this rather uncomfortable part of his trip. AJ kept interrupting with, "WE'RE FLYING, DADDY!!" and Daddy, bless him, was all, "I KNOW, SON." I was torn. ;)

When we got to Orlando AJ thought that we'd see Mickey Mouse right away, so it was hard for him to wait a whole shuttle-bus-ride and dinner and nighttime until Saturday morning. But when we finally entered the park (we opted to just do the Magic Kingdom in the one day we had), we saw was MICKEY himself, on a stage, doing what I assume is the opening number every morning, or every Saturday maybe, complete with chorus dancers and Captain Hook and sparkly costumes and a shower of glitter at the final Hurrah!.... I was overjoyed. AJ was in awe -- he was really seeing his favorite friend, live and in person! I will not admit to you exactly how many tears I shed as the characters all convinced us that Dreams Do Come True. Seeing my child so excited and knowing what a great vision Walt Disney had, wanting kids to just be happy and play, and experience the whole of childhood in such grand fashion, just got to me. Maybe I was also a little nostalgic. Let's just say I needed a Kleenex or five. What a way to start the day.

The weather proved perfect (high 70s but cooler in the morning and the shade), the crowds were manageable, and the rides were fun. We found Peter Pan's ride, the PhilHarmagic 3D show, the Buzz Lightyear Ranger Spin, the Jungle Safari, and of course, It's a Small World. Dad and DH and I rode Pirates of the Caribbean while AJ napped late in the afternoon, in his stroller. We shopped and snacked using our meal plan from the Disney resort deal. It was all awesome.

The main event was seeing Mickey in the "Judges' Tent," which turned out to be very special for all of us. That's the first photo from yesterday. We went back there not knowing what to expect; in fact, several of us grown-ups intended to scoot out and skip it, but I'm so glad we stayed in the short line. A cast member took us back to a door and opened it, and there, in a small interior room, was MICKEY HIMSELF. Ready to greet everyone but only taking a few in at a time. It seemed like a private audience with the Pope or something. There was a reverence and excitement in the air -- this was IT. Our turn with the very most important guy in this particular world. :) AJ was appropriately quiet, but hugged Mickey eagerly, and I was floored. Speechless.

------

There's a bit more to tell -- of course we had a character breakfast the next morning and then a long day of waiting/traveling to get home, but every moment was worth it. The smiles that graced us were welcome and yes, maybe it's a materialistic place filled with chumps who'll pay out the nose, but there is Something there, too.

It's palpable, and I'm grateful. It sounds so hokey, really, but you just get swept up in all that magic. I never knew this about Disneyworld before having kids.

------

(I'm "scattered and smothered" like Waffle House has browns because of work -- trying to focus back in. I'm trying REAL hard not to dread the Thursday-Friday trip this week, and to feel proud of my skills set, since the company trusts me to make presentations and meet with university deans and presidents and such. After Friday, I hope to feel relief and pride on a job well done. We'll see.)

Two pictures are worth...

I have so much to say about our trip, but no time to say it! This will have to do for now.

Can't blog - working! (And giving a rip!)

Y'all, there is so much going on this week already -- I've already whined about it here -- and then God drops a surprise cool freelance assignment on me, for which I am so darn excited, probably unnecessarily so, that I was awake half the night jotting down ideas in the dark on a little notepad I keep by my bed. I'm even slightly juiced about an office business trip since my friend gets to come with me and I'll stay in a hotel with a king-sized bed all to myself!

So I won't be blogging as much for a few days because we moved a dresser from AJ's new room into mine so I've got drawers to fill and decor to create, I'm planning my business trip, I'm contacting some interviewees, I've still got to attend to my little Mickey Mouse tonight and the neighborhood boglins -- oops, I mean, goblins, but what a cool typo -- and then pack for The Happiest Place On Earth.

I will catch you on the flip side!

I am grateful for:
-- Dinner at Taco Mac last night
-- Ideas flowing freely, for once
-- Yellow spray-painted socks that actually look like Mickey's shoes, and the fact that my husband did the painting
-- Working at home a half-day today
-- Reese's Peanut Butter Cups :)

Olfactory

I'm sitting here enjoying the smell of burning dust -- we turned our heat on tonight. I love this annual ritual. I think, in fact, it should be a family tradition: Turn on the heat that first cold night you just know you can can't sleep through anymore, and everyone sit on the bed, or around the table with hot chocolate, and BREATHE IT IN. That dust smell makes me smile every year. Somehow the dust here in Georgia smells exactly like the dust from Texas, where I was a child. How IS that? There are two different heating systems involved, and very different vegetation and bugs, and even different PEOPLE living here than there, creating all those dusty particles of dog and skin and leaves and taco night and sweat and laundry detergent, and whatever other floaty goodness we've entertained ourselves with all summer. How is it they smell the same??

Who needs pumpkin patch photos

(Actually, I'm ashamed that we didn't take our camera to last week's pumpkin-carving party, and I totally bought this year's pumpkins at Publix. Lame.) But onward!

He'll gladly gather up all the dog toys out of friendship, but not return his own to the neatly specified toy baskets. What's with that?

Do you know my hubby does dishes for me nearly every night? Even on Book Club night, when I was being loud and giggly with the girls, he was in the kitchen scrubbing away. It really struck me as so kind, especially because all my friends witnessed it.

"I call this game fun in a box," said the Cat.

We're off to Helen, GA tomorrow morning, and lots to do to prepare for that and the subsequent events next week. I signed up for cupcakes on Halloween Wednesday at daycare.... WHY? Because I love an extra scoop of stress. Thank goodness for Publix bakery. Have a great weekend!

Six Items of Pregnancy Business

-- My hair is a cross between this chick, and Mrs. Brady. I don't know why I always let it grow out so much in between haircuts. I'm normally a person with thick hair that grows fast -- put me on extra hormones and my head feels like an 8-pound package of alfalfa sprouts or something. I've been avoiding my eyebrows and was mortified when the Book club started sharing funny stories about waxing last night. (Do I need to? OMG, are they hinting?) I must remedy these things Today.

-- This morning I wanted to eat eggs, and I swear I couldn't shake enough black pepper on them to satisfy me. Every bite, I peppered a little more.

-- I get the weirdest sharp-pain ligament-stretching sensations. Not all the time, just once in a blue moon one will catch me off-guard and make me say, out loud, "Oh!" Embarrassing when it happens within the cube farm.

-- Had my first middle-of-the-night, I might as well get up and go downstairs moment of insomnia. I ate 3 big pieces of French bread (starved), got under the blanket on the couch, and watched M*A*S*H for about 45 minutes.

-- Also have had my first supposed "man" dreams, which I never had with AJ. You know, where you dream about some hot man other than your husband? Lots of people I know talk about this but again, I never had one when pregnant with AJ. I would like to request a do-over, though: One dream was about a NON-hot guy I knew in college, the other was about Scott Baio. Seriously. He worked in this yellow deli next door to an apartment building where I apparently lived. I got all flirty. Scott Baio??

-- Last night before bed, this little girl went on a kicking spree. It was the Olympics of kicking. She must have been on her back, propping her neck up, wearing a sweatband and doing bicycles. I am constantly lifting up my shirt so I can WATCH the movements from the outside. (When we're alone, I mean, not in public!)

A rapper I can get behind

First it was Shreveport, then my own Atlanta tried to pass fashion police laws about this annoying little trend in young males. (And females, heck... remind me to tell you about the teenage g-string we saw last weekend at the local ice cream shop! Or don't, eww.)

Today -- and I heard this on NPR -- it's south Dallas, where the deputy mayor wants to do something about the kids' britches. But he's going about it the right way: He has help from someone they may listen to.


I truly don't listen to hip-hop, but I think the song is brilliant. It makes me laugh -- sounds like he's talking to a bunch of 4-year-olds. It doesn't seem quite right to pass a LAW about how people dress (there are already indecent exposure laws, why waste time and taxpayer money? Besides that, I think there may be more important crimes to be prosecuted. Maybe.) But taking it to the streets? Excellent idea.

Seriously, the words of the song. SO Funny. You can listen to the whole thing by clicking in the sidebar here.

*loud applause*

Supposedly No One Cares, but...

I had the BEST, YUMMIEST lunch today and it is still making me happy an hour later. I ate, at Jason's Deli, a big bowl of the Chicken & Sausage Gumbo, and served myself from their "famous" salad bar. Field greens, yellow bell peppers, cucumbers, cherry tomatoes, green olives, cheddar, and croutons, with a drizzle of balsamic vinagrette and another drizzle (superfluous!) of Bleu Cheese. And two pickled okra spears on the side! And a respectable little serving of potato salad!

I licked the platters clean. I don't quite understand why this experience has me in such a good mood. We've taken to joking, "My baby is happy" when we've had a good meal lately -- AJ, of course, says this of the baby in HIS tummy, too. Well, y'all, MY BABY IS HAPPY.

I can't: think of anything to say

i am: glad to have a day to work from home because we bathed Polie over the weekend and there is Dog. Hair. Everywhere.
i think: it is supposed to rain 3 days in a row this week (hooray!)
i know: we need it.
i have: a lot of things on the to-do list, including Book Club on Wednesday at my house. See "i am," above.
i hate: having feelings of dread about my office job, but sometimes I do.
i don’t: believe young mothers should have to travel for work, no matter how much a part of their job description it is, when there are perfectly capable SINGLE PEOPLE who can travel.
i can’t: think of anything to write for an "edgy" guest blog post at WorkIt, Mom.
i can: say I've successfully checked three things off my list already.
i will: RSVP (regrets) for a bridal shower and a Halloween party today.
i won’t: feel bad about regretting; I've got enough going on.
i forget: dumb things, like when I went to Publix yesterday and didn't get anything I'll need for the Book Club menu (2 different soups, fresh hearty bread, and a dessert).
i miss: having lots of free time to spend hanging out with my husband...
i fear: that it will only get worse come February.
i feel: mostly better -- my hacking cough is down to almost nothing.
i hear: good things about the Bumbo; do I need one?
i smell: Fresh Linen by Carpet Fresh. I sprinkled it on so now I HAVE to vacuum, once my neighbor, Mrs. Bumstead, returns our vacuum.
i crave: the chocolate Frosted Pop Tart in my pantry, just 3 feet away.
i wonder: How long I will resist?
i regret: that I let other peoples' bad moods define my own sometimes.
i love: my little family and our plain-jane weekends
i dream: of Jeanie.
i long: for a stretch of about 3 weeks off, just to get STUFF done. Also for a pedicure.
i care: entirely too much about how my house appears (outdated, not decorated) to some of my Book Club buddies
i always: try to shut this care up and just be a gracious hostess.
i am not: proud of it.
i believe: in Hope.
i smile: when AJ does his dance moves.
i laugh: (ed) when he asked me this weekend, "But why can't I have ALL the Skittles, Mama?"
i collect: dog hair, apparently, and I display it around my home.
i play: Triple-Berry Pies with my son, using a frisbee for a pie-plate and the top of an empty propane tank for an "oven." It's kind-of like mud-pies. Maybe you have to be there.
i write: poorly with a pen and have always disliked my handwriting.
i await: 2008
i cook: well enough that my husband, I think, is grateful, but I also cook: a lot of the same things.
i trust: that things will work out for the best in most situations.
i intend: to try, this week, to smile and be productive.
i search: for meaning in all the most ridiculous small places.
i look: like I could use a serious haircut. (Even AJ is telling me so, since he got HIS haircut last week.)
i shout: obscenities when I stub my toe.
i whisper: "I love you just the way you are," while AJ is sleeping.
i conquer: week after week, I guess.
i listen: to my mother.
i ignore: most of my desires for frivolous spending. Like, right now I really want new bathmats for every bathroom in my house. But do I buy them? Nooooo. Don't "need" 'em. This irritates me to no end.
i live: a very comfortable life, full of riches and happiness.

Booooo for The Holidays starting in October

(geddit? Booo?)

I am weary already of this long anticipation. No, not Christmas, although I'm shocked that Target already has an aisle with stockings and wrapping paper designated. (Daily Target mention!) I just mean Halloweeeeen, dudes. I don't remember there being a two-month period of "Is it Halloween yet?" when we were growing up. Maybe we thought about our costumes for a couple of weeks beforehand, but man! I have been having to put AJ off every day, telling him we're not going trick-or-treating TODAY, but "in a few weeks." There are Halloween episodes of Dora and Yo Gabba Gabba to get his little juices juiced, there are of course the displays at the stores... it's just crazy.

(Have you SEEN Yo Gabba Gabba?? Now there is a mind-bender. We have some serious SONGS stuck in our heads from that wacky show, let me tell you. There's one called "Don't! Bite! Your Friends!" Haahahahahahaha. I just love the host -- DJ LanceRock. He. Is. Awesome. and Orange.)

We have a busy half-month ahead. This weekend, you'll never guess: A pumpkin-carving party. Next weekend we're going with some friends up to Helen, GA (yay! road trip to the mountains! Something I LUST AFTER every fall) for hayrides, Oktoberfest, etc., and then the following week is H-ween and 2 days later, our quick-as-a-wink trip to Disneyworld. It's dizzying. Exciting, but dizzying.

Hubby said this weekend he'd help me work on AJ's big-boy room, which I am desperate to get going. It feels like it may never get done... because Thanksgiving looms. I don't know whether we'll be traveling for Thanksgiving this year, although we've been asked to go to Savannah. Sigh. I swear to goodness, next year, with TWO KIDS, there will be NO holiday traveling. NONE. I said that before AJ was born, too, hmph. But this time, seriously, Not.Gon.DoIt.

Abrupt subject change: Let's talk baby names! You (some of you -- maybe one of you) asked for updates, when we had some. And since I'm a giver, here you are: We are less inclined toward Jenna and Julianna this month, and more inclined toward something that I feel is getting dangerously close to being THE NAME. Eee! With a middle name and everything. We're even referring to her has Baby ____ when we point to my ever-expanding tum... and that said, I kinda... don't want to share it. I know, what a tease. How about this? I'll tell you some of the middle names I really like right now: Michele, Elise, and Elliot. <-- I know, Elliot! It's weird, it's crazy, it's trendy... my mother is turning it over on her tongue right now with her eyebrows significantly raised... but it's made its way into my mind somehow. And it would GO with the first name quite well, I think.

So you're just going to have to imagine all that for yourselves. Happy Friday! Happy Halloweeeeeeeen! (just 2 more weeks away!)

A small dilemma

I missed Blog Action Day on Monday. It's unfortunate because we're right smack in the middle of a terrible drought in Georgia, and for once, I am actually THINKING A LOT about the environment. Specifically, about water usage and conservation. Disclaimers: I haven't seen Al Gore's big movie and frankly I'm scared of it; I don't recycle because my garbage service swears to me that they separate everything at the dump; and I don't compost because it's icky and smelly.

HOWEVER! This water thing has me trying to make changes: planning a trip to Lowe's today to buy a lo-flow shower head, and washing my face in cold instead of waiting 15 seconds for the water to warm up. (The horrors.) I've also become a little less vigilant about flushing the toilet -- "If it's yellow, let it mellow..." -- especially when I'm the only one home on Mondays/Thursdays. It's a bit unpleasant, but hey, saving 10-20 gallons of water is worth it right now. They're saying we have 115 days left of water in North Georgia. I don't like the sound of that. Having plenty of drinking water later WILL BE pleasant, thank you. It greatly outweighs the inconvenience of a dirty potty now.

My dilemma is thus: AJ is a forgetful little soul, and oftentimes wants to leave the bathroom toute de suite after finishing his business, without flushing. Gotta get back to his shows educational toys, y'know. I don't want him to think that's okay! I want to march him right back in and say, "Flush it, mister." But in these desperate times.... I'm letting it mellow.

What to do? I shrug and try to explain to a 3-year-old that we need to save water. Ha. I hope he'll realize one day, when toilets are required to be lo-flow, that flushing is important. Don't want him to be one of THOSE kids, after all. Eew.

- - - - - - - - - - -

Seriously, though, even if you don't live in Georgia, conserve water. Your state may be asked to ship it down here when we're all parched and cracking come January! Here are some great tips. Surprisingly, most of these are things that Hubby and I thought of before having to read them -- we're just lazy Americans with too many blessings that we take for granted.

Ugh, Monday

I was out for the count this weekend. You know, Friday, how I felt all tired and helpless at the office? Well, Friday night I got home and performed the heroic feat of ordering a pizza for our dinner, then promptly put on my comfy pants after AJ went to bed, and curled up under the blanket as if it were 32 degrees in the house. (It wasn't.) My chest was heavy with that deep, rumbling cough, and although a bit of Tylenol helped me sleep, I woke up next morning feeling Crud-dy.

THANKS BE to my husband, who took AJ out for a doughnuts excursion so I could go back to bed 'til about 9:30. (AJ had asked me to take him outside at 7:30am, and as I sat on the floor velcro-ing shoes, I just nearly broke down with the thought of accommodating his innocent request. Hubby thought maybe it was time to relieve me. Heh. Yes.)

It's pretty hard to explain to a three-year-old that Mama doesn't feel well, by the way. They don't quite get it that MOVEMENT is uncomfortable.

Today I feel like I'm on the mend, but the coughing still lingers and sometimes makes my abdomen hurt, which is unpleasant. I'm sure Baby's fine and won't go to the doc unless this hangs on a few more days; I'm not miserable, and no other symptoms... just blah.

If you're looking for something nice and inspiring to read, look no further: Et-tu's Group Writing Project had loads of entries of things we think our parents did right. (And looky, I won the random prize drawing! Lucky me!) The exercise made me start my own list of Things I Really Want to be Part of Our Parenting Experience. Maybe I will work on it and post it later.

If you're looking for something absolutely TRAGIC to read, go here. This poor woman and her husband are dealing with something CRAZY involving their 12-week-old baby boy. Start at the end of September's archives to catch up. Wow. Pray for them.

....Zzzzzzzz...... *head hits desk*

I woke up every 2 hours last night with a cough and a serious headache.

(Oh, and the ever-present need to potty, don't forget that.)

PITY ME!

I am SO falling asleep at my desk right now.

*whimper*

Three things my parents did right

It sure is good that other people have blog ideas; namely, Jen at Et, tu.. There's a group writing project and if I hurry, I might make today's deadline.

1. They did (and still do) "family" right. Our nuclear family is one of four: Mom, Dad, me, and my sister. But we never lacked for cousins, aunts, uncles, or grandparents around. We lived in the same town as my father's side of the family when I was a child, and of course no holiday was complete without at least one gathering. But more than that: we'd see each other at Sunday Mass, or at the country club afterwards. Or get together for dinner. Maybe part of it was living in a small town. My mother's parents lived 7 hours away by car, but that didn't stop us from having plenty of occasions to visit them. We made wonderful memories there, too. I even know many of my second and third cousins, and am fully aware of what "once-removed" means. My mom is the official genealogist of our extended family. She has binders and software and family trees that are inches thick, dating back to Adam, I think (at least that's the goal!). I think that her love of that hobby, her emphasis on knowing your roots, makes a big difference here. Not to discount my dad, though -- he and his brothers have one of the strongest family bonds, despite their very different personalities, that I've ever known. Family is, and will always be, of utmost importance to me.

2. They taught us with every moment. My sister and I were both readers from a very young age, and still are, thanks to my parents' reading to us. We even read aloud when we were old enough to read by ourselves -- James and the Giant Peach is one book that we enjoyed aloud as a family, every night after dinner for a week or so. We attended our parochial schools -- good schools -- but we were also taught at home. I remember once my Mom ordered a set of art history lessons when we were about 8 and 10. She hung up different prints around the house -- by the greats like Monet, Modigliani, Degas, Cassatt, and Van Gogh -- and we learned them and their styles. It was just something fun to do. There wasn't any pressure (and let me say we certainly had our share of playtime and TV-time, too; we weren't "schooling" the live-long day). Dad taught us about how things work, about finances when we got old enough, about "career" by taking us with him to the office or the farm, and about following your dreams. He was a rancher, then a business owner, then a commercial pilot, and we've always been inspired by his willingness to learn something new.

3. Discipline was never hard. Currently this accomplishment of my parents' baffles me, since I am in the throes of learning to discipline a young person and it's HARD. I don't have a clue how my parents solved the magic equation, but basically, all they had to do was look at us wrong, and we KNEW when we were in danger of getting in trouble. In fact, I don't remember very many punishments in my life. A few, "Go to your rooms," yes, and I know of one time in particular when I stayed out too late as a teenager and Dad waited up to let me know how he felt about it... but even then, harsh words weren't part of our family's practice. He looked disapprovingly at me, said something about following the rules, and that was that. (And I was properly MORTIFIED.) They must have just served their early discipline with the exact amount of love needed to make it stick. I respected them (and still do) without reservation. Edited to add: OK, I'm sure it wasn't always easy, but they made it LOOK easy, that's what I'm trying to say. They trusted that we would act right, and for the most part, we did, because we didn't want to disappoint them.

Gosh, I could name so many other things my parents did well! We traveled, we had meals together, they have such strong faith, their work ethic... I am a very lucky girl, indeed.

Little joys, little tests

The great thing about avoiding online shopping is that when you finally do order something, you're GIDDY with anticipation of its arrival. I got a tracking number in my email this morning and it has put me in a really good mood. :)

I needed a lift, after listening to my iPod on the way to work. It shuffled over to the Indigo Girls, and I was reminded that I think the song "Power of Two" is one of the loveliest love songs ever written. It made my cry thinking about my sweet husband, (pardon my sappiness) especially the refrain that says, "So we're okay... we're fine..." I think marriages, even really good ones, need that little reminder every day. We're okay. :)

And once again: Horomones! All the crying, geez!

Speaking of... We've had 2 evenings now of screaming, kicking tantrums right at 7:00pm, leading to AJ's least favorite phrase: "Straight To Bed. No Stories." Last night the issue was a very simple request that the little monkey wash his hands after a dessert popsicle. (And the subsequent hitting of his mama that occurred when he got mad at me for insisting on the hand-washing.) WTF, dude?? It's water and soap, big whoop-dee-doo. Don't hit me.

The night before, hmm. I can't quite remember the issue. Oh, and what do you do when you say, "AJ, you can scream but you have to do it in your own room." And shut his door.... but he opens it right back up and comes out??

Installing a lock seems the logical choice, but "locking your child in his room" surely goes against modern parenting wisdom, yes?

I have found that letting him BE MAD and rage for about 5 minutes, and then offering to sit in the rocking chair with him calms his ass down to snuffling, hiccuping levels. But the door thing... I'm sort-of at a loss.

A kid-free, football-free Day in the life

Alternate title: Shopping

Over the weekend, I was given a glorious gift from my husband: On Sunday, he took AJ and drove across town to his fraternity brother's house to watch a football game. With driving time and extra for socializing, that was nearly 6 hours all to MYSELF. And I got teary-eyed (horomones) when I was thanking him, because, my goodness, all the things I hoped accomplish in 6 hours! Without spending five minutes at every stop buckling or unbuckling the car seat! I was pretty humbled by the idea of it and so, so grateful. I even promised him I'd "work," when I totally could have gotten away with bon-bons and a book. He's nice like that.

I got a lot done. Started at Babies R Us and wandered the aisles, looking for 1) a black turtleneck for our Mickey costume (CHECK), a plain white maternity tee (CHECK), pretty diaper bags, and ideas for crib sheets and bumpers and valances. Although I recommended GETTING the comforter to a first-time mom recently (because they're only young once, and yeah, they don't use it but YOU might, while you're nursing in the rocking chair in the middle of the night), I'm wanting to resist the $199+ 4-piece baby bedding sets. I just don't feel like I want to spend that much, and I certainly don't want someone else spending that on me. I'd like to find something in lavender and sage green, maybe toile and/or gingham sheets. A dust ruffle, a bumper, I don't ask much.*

After that I hit JoAnn Fabrics and found big, white Mickey-pants buttons, and some elastic for securing his ears. Score! Under $6.00.

Then to Ulta where I made up the difference in makeup brushes. Holy Lord, my face better look GOOD. $28.00 to put on some powder. Wow.

After all this girly time I was starting to feel tired, but still right on the schedule I'd made for myself. I headed to Publix on the way home, and spent less than usual on the week's groceries. Plus muffin-baking ingredients. Yum!

Put my feet up for 20 minutes and watched that stupid Ed Burns movie which I have never loved but somehow feel compelled to try again, every time it's on. Jennifer Aniston and Cameron Diaz, so it has to be good, right? Wrong.

My name is Lee, I pressed on (HAR): 2 loads laundry! A bit of Big-Boy-Room prep taking down artwork and ... sob... throwing away several old purses that have collected in the bowels of that closet. Loose photos neatly placed in a photo storage box. Crappy old frames tossed. It was a day for productivity, my friends.

....And then it hit me. MY FEET ACHED. MY BACK ACHED. I was jittery. (Forgot to eat lunch.) Hello, duh, you are growing a human person, might wanna slow down with the heroic acts of STANDING UP so much. So I took a bath and slept like a rock.

Pretty amazing how you can wake up the next morning and all that hurt is all gone. (Thankfully!)

*Postlogue: Late last night I started shopping for baby bedding online and oh, my! You'd best just settle in with coffee, your reading glasses, and a MAP. Who knew the Baby Linens community was so massive? And I'm so timid about (opposed to, as a general rule) eBay. Aye-yi-yi.

Also shoppping for a sling/wrap. Fun! I think these are gorgeous. I want the red one, on sale, but it's not available in my size. Or, what I think is my size. There are so many variables that it's hard to do their handy equation.

Drawback, and other rambling (some Halloween!)

One tiny drawback to the whole, "one of each" thing -- my poor sister will have to say,

"My nephew and niece,"

which is so much more trouble than, "My nephews" or "My nieces." Oh well. Price she pays for getting to buy Strawberry Shortcake presents, I guess. You're welcome, Sis. :)

Hey, just peeking at that link makes me excited to go into my Dad's attic and see if MY old Strawberry Shortcake dolls are still there. These new ones look a little more... sleek than I remember. Yes? Where is Blueberry Muffin's cute little square-ish hat? Where is the fat baby Apple Dumplin'? She must have been downsized for lack of competitive muscle with the Bratz or something.

Also? My husband is severely rolling his eyes right now, thinking these dolls are going to be invading HIS HOUSE. Heh.

It felt so good to get really emotional yesterday about this baby. FINALLY! And by "really emotional" I mean, driving home with my little purchase, I kinda sobbed a little bit. With joy, you understand. :) And probably relief, because running around with a 3-year-old and trying to maintain the household hasn't allowed for that all-consuming "Oh my, I'm going to be a Mommy" vibe, or the accompanying connection that one feels to the little tadpole. I've wanted to connect, just... couldn't, really.

Maybe it could also be the recent kicking storm that has begun in my belly. :) Anyway, connection = good.

AJ took the news well. But when asked if he'd help hold his baby sister, he said, "No, I tired of holding that baby." Ha! The darndest things.

[Transition sentence here.] Mickey Mouse costume, anyone? Can't they do any better than this? I don't find it all that cute, but it's easier than me going in to Joann Fabrics with less than a single CLUE about what to do (or how to sew). AJ seems wholly uninterested in the easy costumes Target has to offer. Hmph, Halloween was easier when his opinion wasn't involved.

...I wonder how many of my blog posts mention the word Target in, say, a month?

I also heard that this year's pumpkin crop is lacking. My neighbor said that the 1st harvest (in stores now) was good. The 2nd harvest was flooded and the third suffered from drought, so if you want a "good" pumpkin, go NOW. Alarmist. But... still. They keep if you don't open 'em up 'til later, so I'm buying one tomorrow morning.

Getting to know her

Dear Baby Girl,

I hope you will like the little pink blankie I just bought you. I wanted you to have something special to cuddle. It has butterflies and a flower on it, and it's the same pink my "boppy" was. Oh, I called my blanket "Boppy" before there was a name brand to usurp my word, and there's your first indication that your Mom is brilliant: I coined a NAME BRAND. When I was a BABY. Anyway, I rushed right over to Target this morning after receiving more sweet photos of you and your undeniably girl-self. I couldn't wait to add something soft and flowery to the household, and to think of you while cruising the Carter's aisle. Just imagine how many years of shopping we can do together; I had to get started right away.

You are going to have plenty of hand-me-down clothes even though you have an older brother, because there is a thing called SECOND COUSINS, right here in Georgia. And God Bless the three of them, and their mother's truly excellent taste and tidy storage bins. But I wanted to be the first person to give you something of your very own to wear. That's why I also bought the lavender polka-dot onesie, size "NB," and I hope you'll get to wear it at least one time. :)

It seems like you really should be coming any time now, although I know you still have a lot of growing to do before you're ready to see us. So stay in there and stay cozy, we'll wait. Everyone is going to love you, and I really think you're going to change us all in good ways. For myself, I know I'll have to really lead by example as my Mom did, and teach you grace and inner beauty and goodness, if I can muster them up myself. I'm trying to teach those things to your big brother, of course, but it's different with girls, you know? I hope we'll be good friends long into my old age. It makes me teary just to think about that -- having someone to girl-talk with.

Your Daddy isn't going to know what hit him when you arrive, I think. I can't wait to see how he cradles and protects you, his precious little girl. I know that the confidence he's gained with three years of parenting under his belt will make him your strong rock, your Giving Tree. You're just going to love him, and I pray that he'll always be your number one. Here's a hint if you ever want something from him: One smile, one kiss, and I bet you'll send him straight over the moon.

AJ has been speculating that you're a girl; I'm excited to tell him tonight that he was right, and he's going to have a sister. He may jump up and dance at the good news; he's very happy about things like this lately. He is planning to teach you all kinds of things, like which Mother Goose poems are the best (The House that Jack Built, naturally) and how to make a Legos Zoo. And how to run really fast. You're so lucky that you'll have a big brother -- something every little girl without one dreams of, I think. He's great -- vibrant, smart, and even sensitive. I bet you'll be able to tell him anything. Be friends, okay? Even if he tells you to go away sometimes. Big kids just say that; they don't mean it.

I have a lot to do now to get ready for you. There are paint schemes to choose and new crib sheets to buy (I had a hard time resisting one of each pink item at Target), and I'm eager to get started now that we are starting to know you a little more.

I love you, can't wait to meet you.
Mommy

(...You guys? POLKA DOTS.)

Highs and Lows

Our weekend, it seemed, was mostly a shitstorm of toddler attitude, followed by yesterday and these precious moments:

> We told AJ about the school's outdoor movie night this Friday, where we'll bring a picnic dinner and watch Happy Feet on a big inflatable screen on the playground field. He literally jumped for joy, saying things like "I'm so es-cited! It will be sooo fun!" He also came up to me, put his hands on my cheeks, and looked me in the eye to say, "Oh, thank-you guys! It so NICE of you to come to my school for a movie night."

> All the Friday movie talk put him in the Best. Mood. Ever. for dinner, and he talked and ate and was generally a pleasant person at the table, something we haven't seen since, oh, I dunno, he was 6 months old strapped in a highchair? Maybe I exaggerate. Anyway, he got to talking about his next birthday, and his NEXT, and THEN HIS NEXT BIRTHDAY!!... and got all the way to when he'd be TEN! And REALLY REALLY TALL! AND HE WILL TOUCH THE SKY BECAUSE HE WILL BE SO TALL! AND TEN! It was blowing his little mind, how gigantic he will be! Touching! The! Sky!

> "Who brought this Cherry Pie to our house??" he asked, when given the option for dessert. Mama did! I got it at the store. "You DID??? Wow, I LUHHHV PIE!" He tasted it and the perfect sourness of those big fat cherries made his eyes twitch just a little, before he laughed, kind-of startled at how good it tasted. Yum, PIE! And then ten seconds and half a bite later, decided he "doedn't really like this." And hopped down from the table.

I swear, Mother Goose was right about the little girl with the curl, and should have included a verse about a boy, too!

But I definitely want to remember and revel in the extraordinarily good times.

Stimulant!

I noticed this morning while contemplating my 2nd glorious cup of decaf with warm milk... that it wasn't decaf. BUMMER -- I mistakenly bought Seattle's Best Regular yesterday, so excited I was that it was on sale for $5.99. Not that a cup or 2 of real caffeine is going to hurt anything but I have been trying to avoid it. What's interesting is the immediate effect of being "off" caffeine -- the reason I knew it wasn't decaf was my heart beating so loudly as I sat here. You'd think I just sprinted upstairs and carried the laundry basket down.

BUT I HAVEN'T. Heh. (Perhaps I should.)

More later.

The Middle Name meme

Ms. 4andcounting tagged me for this challenging little meme.

The rules:
1. You have to post these rules before you give the facts.
2. Players - You must list one fact that is somehow relevant to your life for each letter of your middle name. If you don't have a middle name, use the middle name you would have liked to have had.
3.At the end of your post, you need to choose one person for each letter of your middle name to tag.


A -- I have Attitude. Usually it's a fairly good attitude, que sera sera and all, but *sometimes* it's the capital-A Attitude that your mother used to really dislike (and my mother).

N -- I really like Novels. I have tried to read non-fiction but it usually leaves me feeling very blah. I need a good story arc. Maybe a plot twist. Depth of character. Symbolism. And for me, that usually comes in long fiction (not short stories so much, either).

N -- Nutter butters. What can I say? I like Nutter Butters! My childhood friend, Nikki, used to bring them in her lunch a lot and I was so glad when she shared. I Never buy them myself, though (Nutritional value woes). [I was going to use "Naive" here, but that's so boring.]

E -- I attended Emory University. (You wouldn't believe how many E-words I scanned through and considered before settling on this Easy fact! Eavesdrop, Earrings, Exegesis, Editorial...Etc!)

Now, I think the tagging is going to be harder than the meme itself! So here I go: Amy, whom I haven't visited in Ages, Nancy Bond from Nova Scotia, Nancy S. Brandt (hi, Nancy, remember me? I'm sure glad your name is Nancy!), and Ellinetha.

Trying on some new phrases

I just published an article at WorkIt,Mom!, a site I read daily and very much enjoy. I have intended to publish regularly there -- any member can -- but have been devoid of any useful ideas. Until yesterday. And when the Muse appears, you have to put off your actual work to get it done use your time extra-wisely and pay heed to her.

Enjoy: Here's the goods. Ignore the big fat typo in paragraph 2. Argh. Very embarrassing that I can't get back in there and edit it out. Oh well.

------------------------

AJ has also been trying out new words lately, seeing what kind of reaction they'll produce. Such as:

Scene 1
Me: AJ, time to pick up those blocks and put them away.

AJ: I don't weally CARE about doing dat. I don't weally care 'bout it.

Scene 2
Me & Hubby: (talking amongst ourselves in the cereal aisle)

AJ: GUYS. Hey. Mama. (stomping off) I'm TIRED of dis!


Where did he learn these grown-up expressions? *looks around innocently* No, seriously, I am sure I don't say, "I don't care about that." Certain.

Questions for you, gentle reader

Thursday is my mom's birthday. Yesterday was my college roommate's birthday. Tomorrow is my best-theater-friend's birthday (from back in my theater days).

Throughout my life, many of the women I've been closest to (save these two) have been Libras, and although I don't put much stock into astrology, I find that interesting.

So I wanted to ask my blog pals -- are any of you Libras? Because I think that would also be interesting.

I happen to be a Gemini, if that means anything to you. :)

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I am wearing Bare Minerals makeup today. What can I say, LAURA INGALLS wears it, and if she isn't fresh-faced and PURE, I don't know what is. I actually really like the stuff. (Pregnancy hormones have been unfriendly to my face so I'm hoping this light-as-a-feather foundation will help.) I am super-lucky because my Libra mom had bought a lot of it several months ago, but decided it wasn't right for her... so this weekend she GAVE it all to me. Score! My sister, thanks to her husband, had a revelation a year or two ago, that she deserved to wear expensive makeup, darnit, not drugstore brands that cost less than $4, just for the sake of costing less. And I agree. I am WORTH the (Mom's) cash it takes to buy quality products. ;)

Question, though, for anyone who uses it -- what's the diff between 'face color' and 'blush?' Is one supposed to be bronzer? I may have to go into Ulta for a demo, although I'll feel funny about that when I say, "Thank you very much for your help, and no I don't need to buy a single thing today." Seriously, Mom hooked me up with PLENTY.

Ooh, maybe I can find a tutorial on YouTube. Gotta love the Internet!


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I asked MB this yesterday in her 5-question interview, and I thought it'd be fun for all of us to share ideas: What is one meal you will prepare this week? I want to know everything, down to the side items, drinks and condiments. You don't have to write the whole recipe, but if it sounds good I might ask you for it! I'll start:

Last night our dinner was a quickie: homemade pizza (pepperoni and mozarella, plus a little sprinkle of cheddar for the sharpness), garden salad (cucumber, bagged mixed greens, cherry tomatoes, and Newman's Garlic-Parm dressing). AJ had an ice-cream sandwich because he ate his ENTIRE slice, which is a rarity. Hubby and I drank tea and water, respectively, and AJ drank chocolate milk. Oh, and I made the pizza dough in the bread machine. Not very gourmet, but very satisfying and E-Z!

Now you.

Speaking of the breadmaker, I got to thinking about baking my own bread for sandwiches. To save us a whole $.49 every week, don'tcha know. If any of you smart, savvy cooks out there have a good sandwich bread recipe, white or wheat, feel free to share. I'm sure the breadmaker cookbook has one, but I thought it'd be more fun to hear yours.

Just what I needed

Blueberry pancakes and coffee.

That was this morning. What I also needed was a weekend away from our routine, and I got just that. We returned home yesterday afternoon after being at my parents' house for... let's see... approximately 35 hours. It was well worth it. Maybe the down-time of zoning out in the car was good for my brain. Maybe the change of scenery was good for my eyes. Maybe the good food was beneficial to my tummy! Maybe the retail therapy at the mall of my youth was comfort to my... um, soul. ;) Undoubtedly the extra love and kisses all around were good for my -- and AJ's -- mood. We got to see some cousins and aunts and uncles, too, and that was a good time. It's never long enough.

Last night before falling asleep, and I'm not making this up, AJ said, "Mommy? I wish I could see Grandmommy and Papa Joe EVERY DAY." Me too, bud. Me too.

Failed

If you were a good student in school like I was, the random fluke physics tests on which you did poorly felt like a huge gash in the smooth surface of your shiny new car.

They felt like a giant failure. And you might be disappointed all day because of that one grade. Unnecessary, really, because nobody's perfect.

Well, today I failed something. Maybe it's my particular kid, or maybe it's symptomatic of age three and a global thing, but there are times when.... well. I just feel so bereft about this morning that I don't even know what to say about it. The daily rush to get out the door, you know? Never a good place to begin with, but AJ picked something up -- a dinner tray from his booster seat -- and dropped it carelessly right in front of the door through which we were all trying to get out.

And then refused to pick it back up and put it away.

Such a minor thing, but his refusal was not minor to me. He's doing this a lot lately. I think I was calm about asking him the first, maybe even the 2nd time. But not the fourth or fifth. I swear, he looks up at me so CALMLY, and quietly says, "No." It's not like HIS emotions escalate when things like this happen, he simply doesn't feel like it. Then he sort-of whines no. And today I just lost it.

WHY CAN'T YOU LISTEN TO MOMMY AND DADDY? YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND ME, DO YOU? ONE... TWO....(I *WILL* SPANK YOUR BOTTOM...) AJ, you've GOT TO DO WHAT YOU'RE TOLD. OKAY, THREE.

And I've been resorting to threats and stupid discipline much too often lately. I believe that sometimes defiant kids NEED a swat on the butt, I really do. But I don't like doing it. Still, I have had this argument so many times now I just cut to that easiest, seemingly fastest solution, even though it's not a good one. I forget all those love & logic words about, "You can choose to pick up the tray, or you can choose not to, and (here is the consequence)..." Which doesn't even work since I have to delay it 'til after school in today's case, when he's completely forgotten the whole scene anyway. And why I won't take time for a Time Out, and just BE LATE to school and my job for once, I don't know. Punctuality is so meaningless. What am I thinking? The worst failure, after the swat on the butt and after he said NO to me again, and backed away knowing his butt was in more danger (breaking my heart for the recklessness of spanking at all)... the worst failure was this: "AJ, I AM SO MAD AT YOU!"

He covered his face with his hands and only then started to cry.

It makes me cry now, just typing it, even after moving on to talk about the stop signs and the sunshine -- happily -- before drop-off, knowing he was fine again, and even after a whole hour's commute to get over it myself.

Oh, I also yelled at my husband about it, did I mention that?

I feel like I've fractured our entire family this morning, instead of shepherding us through, and *I* feel the effects of it so acutely, I'm just a mess. I know I need to forgive myself and just try to do better next time. Nobody's perfect. But, oh. This red-hot gash is one I just don't know how to buff out.

Let's hope I do better than Miss Teen South Carolina

It's Interview Time! I willfully signed up for a hard-hitting interview by one of my newest blog-pals, typelittlea. She seems quite cool. I'm grateful to her for offering because y'all? I'm frrrresh! out of ideas, zapped of all creativity.

So here are the rules: Leave me a comment (you, yes you) saying “Interview me.” I will respond by emailing you or leaving a comment with five questions. I get to pick the questions. If you don’t have a valid email address on your blog, please provide one. You will update your blog with a post containing your answers to the questions. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

Here are typelittlea's questions to me.

1. What did you want to be when you grew up? How close/far is it from what you're doing now? Heh. I WIN! When I was little, I usually said I wanted to be a "Mommy." I am a sparkling career success, then! However, I also wanted to be a teacher most days -- in fact, I subjected my sister to a kafrillion games of "School," where *I* was the teacher because it was *my* chalkboard to begin with and also, I was older and obviously smarter. In my working-life, I am nowhere near a teacher. I sometimes email college professors, though.

2. What kind of eater are you? Are you picky? Or are you all, pan-fried songbird in a chocolate-asprin sauce, yum just like mom used to make! NOT PICKY!! Hear that, AJ? NOT PICKY. Picky eaters kinda get on my nerves, actually. (It is therefore very difficult having a toddler.) I, myself, am willing to try a variety of *normal* things, ethnic things, etc., but you won't catch me dead eating Fear Factor delicacies or some of Anthony Bourdain's crazy feasts. I will say this, I like food to taste good. And tofu isn't my favorite. Pretty basic criteria.

3. If you had a substantial amount of money to give away, where would you give and why? Give it away?? Wah-huh? No, I kid, really. I suppose first I would (finally) contribute to my parish's capital plan -- they're building new buildings, updating the school, etc. -- to be sure my son gets into Kindergarten! Eek. Got to work on that. Right after we fix the car and replace the upstairs air conditioner and have some trees removed from the backyard. And THEN, after that, I'd probably give some to the Delta Gamma Foundation (my college sorority which helps lots of causes, most notably sight conservation & aid to the blind), the Crohn's & Colitis Foundation of America (near & dear to my heart), St. Jude's (because kids just shouldn't have to be that sick, they break my heart), and the Special Olympics (added to my list quite recently - in fact, I'm wanting to volunteer with them someday).

It's really, really hard to choose just one charity, by the way.

4. Do you have any sore spots that you don't laugh at/make fun of? I have never been obese myself, but I really hate when movies, comedians, or TV shows make fun of fat people. Really. Hate.

5. Do you drive like an asshole? If yes, please NEVER come to NJ. My blood pressure is high enough. KTHKSBYE Whooboy. I was thinking about this just the other day because as I was driving through midtown Atlanta on the interstate, in difficult traffic, I realized I can be fairly aggressive on the road. I definitely follow too closely. I don't consider myself an asshole namely because I try to avoid talking on the cell while cutting you off, and I don't zip around you at 85mph like a teenage boy in a pimped-up Civic (hate those guys). I really try to be careful. But if you are from Po-Dunk County USA, you probably think I drive like an asshole. I've definitely been citified.

Great questions, man! So sign up and I'll interview you! And the US Americans, who... the Iraq and everywhere like such as...

(I actually played this little interview game once before.)

Brain dump of nothing much

I just don't have anything much to say today... so like a good little blogger, I am going to ....POST ANYWAY. Lucky for you. Let's see:

-- Yesterday I had one of those days at work where I couldn't have cared less about what I do for a living. I actually hoped that we won't get a few jobs that are out on proposal, just because I don't want to be the one to have to DEAL with them. This is, quite fundamentally, a poor business attitude. (I told a coworker last week that I need a nametag that says "Bad Attitude." Just to warn everyone.) Y'see, I'd spent the evening before with a nurse, an occupational therapist, and a mom who takes in 2 peoples' kids a couple days a week, and was thinking, now those are jobs that actually mean something AND bring a paycheck. Novel concept. Am continuing to mull this over with regards to my life, but likely won't change anything because I never do. If I weren't pregnant, this recurring mood would be blamed on PMS. Bleh.

-- We are going to Florida this weekend to visit my parents. It's going to be SUCH a short trip -- a tiring after-work ride down on Friday night (5 hours, but we gain an hour going from Eastern to Central, woo hoo), a full Saturday of shopping, swimming, and watching AJ bounce around his grandparents' house, a fun! new! venue! for exploring!, and then a quick Sunday morning and right back into the car... but still, in my mind, so worth it. I wonder if it's the maternal/pregnancy thing making me want to see my mommy and daddy. :) DH is a trooper for indulging me in this, not that he doesn't like going down there, but it's a bit of a hassle.

-- Speaking of the hero that is my Dear Husband: Last night as I was putting 2 frozen chicken breasts in the microwave to thaw, he said, "Oh, is that what's for dinner? Because I was thinking we could... maybe... go out. To break up the Monotony of the week." Isn't he great? :)

Knowing what's ahead

Friday afternoon I got all melancholy, anticipating our predictable nightly routine: eat dinner, bathe AJ, stories, bed, CRASH on the couch while Hubby plays Xbox. I made my feelings visible while I was cooking, enough that Hubby asked me a couple of times what was wrong. And instead of being a baby like usual and sighing, "Nothing," I went ahead and told him. It was probably horomone-related since I do seem to be having a surge of those going on (see: my blemish-ridden forehead), but I laid it out for him and told him I was just bored with the mediocrity. PitymebutnotyourfaultbutI'mboredwithlifeandsadaboutit.

And then what did I do right after putting AJ to bed? FELL ASLEEP ON THE COUCH, anyway. At 9:00 like a big doofus. My sweet DH came over to me during a brief wakeful moment, and we laughed and rolled our eyes at me. And then he leaned in close and whispered,

"Enjoy it now... in six months you'll be WISHING for this."

And, oh, we sighed and laughed again at the monumental truth of that statement.

Updates: a Thursday 13 list

It's been forever since I've done a Thursday Thirteen. Thought I'd take this opportunity to jot down a few updates for you.

1. I still have not received results of my second AFP test, if you can believe that. I'm choosing to remain positive about this and say "No News is Good News." update to this update! 12:45 pm: NORMAL. Normalnormalnormal. Sigh of relief, and thank you Mom, for all your prayers and petitions. :)
2. AJ has not had a Time Out in daycare for a week or more. However! Yesterday his teacher told me they'd had a little "issue" on the playground. I'm so embarrassed... evidently MY kid was the kid pulling down his pants and showing off his privates. ::kill me dead, seriously:: I realized later that I had dressed him in pants that are actually too big (STUPID me! I should have taken those out of his drawer months ago because usually when I put them on him, I take them right backoff in favor of clothes that FIT). The pants were falling down as he ran around outside. I don't even blame him for wanting them off, because how annoying! But still. I didn't punish him because it was really my fault, but we had a little Talk about keeping our privates to ourselves. !!
3. I ordered a maternity dress in black, for my brother-in-law's wedding. It will hopefully look much more acceptable than the Demi Moore bridesmatron belly exposé.
   
4. DH has informed me he does not like the name Justin! So that one's out. I'm okay with it.
5. I made another batch of mint-chocolate-chip cookies and this time, I'm keeping them all for myself. (Last time, I shared them with the coworkers.)
6. Some friends of ours got divorced in April. Last Friday, we had the guy friend over for dinner and he is doing great. In fact, he went on his first little date Saturday and reported that it went well. We are quite happy for him, as he seems to really have found himself in this whole process. Still, it's odd.
7. Remember when I started displaying the Small Change banner? Yeah. Um. I have not done so well in giving to my fellow man. I think it 8 months, I've done.... 4 of the monthly challenges. I sent greeting cards to some sick kids; had a yard sale; gave money to my church; and sent a donation to St. Jude's, I think. This month, the challenge is to pay it forward -- just do something nice for a stranger. Pretty cool! I am going to try it somehow. Especially if it means I get to go to the Starbucks drive-thru. (wink)
8. I've never mentioned this before so it's not really an update, but marybeth and I were discussing a girly getaway weekend for the 2 of us. I TOTALLY want to do this now. We need to do it STAT, before I'm too fat to see my feet (and our pretty pedicures that we're totally getting).
9. The Georgia heat has finally dissipated, I think, and signs of fall are beginning to show. In the mornings, it's nice and cool out. One of the things AJ does, that he came up with all by himself, is to greet the trees before he goes to daycare. We go out to load up the car, and he steps onto the driveway (this morning he said, "It's lovely out-hide!") and shouts, "Goo-Moaning, Tweeeees!"
10. On the topic of our new parental friends from daycare... the school has scheduled a Movie Night in October. On a Friday night, they're renting a big inflatable screen and a popcorn machine, and inviting families to bring dinner and chairs and blankets, and meet on the playground for a screening of "Happy Feet." I think it's going to be awesome, and is a fantastic idea! I can't wait to see what family we will sit next to on the lawn. :)
11. On the topic of updates... my sis has not updated her blog in a while. What's with that? ;)
12. I'm not getting much movement from the baby. Teensy little gas bubbles but nothing I can discern as real "kicks" yet. AJ is still leaning into my tummy and saying Hi every night, which is cute. He said yesterday he wants a sister, which is opposite of his usual request.
13. I'm getting my hair cut on Saturday which will be the most needed update of all! Hooray!

My decorating idea

Had a Brain Flash last night about possible decor for AJ's big-boy room! Am excited but need opinions.

• Red or black comforter
• Black tab-top valances, replace the default buttons with (or add) large yellow 4-hole buttons
• Cut out and frame a couple of DH's old Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck comic book pages, recently acquired from my in-laws' attic, with wide black mats in red frames
• Paint a Mickey ears silhouette about 4 feet diameter in black chalkboard paint, down low on one wall
• Maybe add one or two of these wall stickers
• If only I could find these sheets in a queen size!
  
• Commission my Aunt Kim to build and paint a Mickey and Friends growth chart/stick/thingie to hang on the wall...

Anyway.... ideas! I have always said I'll never decorate in "Disney" like the fanatics, but my kid loves his Mickey Mouse. Sleeps with him every night. And I'm thinking it's a very easy look to "grow up" just by painting over the chalkboard (that's easy to do, right?), and replacing Mickey with simple red and black things like lamps and accents.

Also, we're going to Disney world in November, so I can stock up on fun stuff maybe afford one or two items!

Whaddya think?

Lard?? You must be joking.

Okay, she could have probably chosen a different outfit. And her performance was certainly, clearly lackluster. I don't want to excuse Britney's behavior or her other flaws over the last 2 years. But if *I* looked like that after having my 2 babies? HELL, YES, I'd strut around in a black sequined bikini. And we would be MIGHTY IMPRESSED WITH MY ABS, too.

I can't believe the words people are using to describe her: Fat. Bulging. Lard. Paunch.

If that is a 'paunch,' don't EVER send the journalists to my bathroom mirror.

Give the girl a break, I swear.

Part of the crowd, and naming the baby

It's so fun to feel part of the crowd. Like, this weekend, AJ was invited to a birthday party for one of his schoolmates, Madison. There have been 1 or 2 parties since he started there (in infancy), but we've never gone. Well, scratch that -- I TRIED to take him to a McDonald's party once, but the not-so-bright mom just put "McDonald's" on the invite, didn't say which one, and there are 2 equidistant from the school... she also didn't put an RSVP phone number. So we attempted to guess and visited 2 McDonald'ses that day. The party was located at? Neither. But anyway, this Saturday we succeeded in attending a party at Monkey Joe's (hoo-boy, that is an energy festival for a group of 3-year-olds!), and I really, really enjoyed meeting the other parents. Some of them, I've seen going in or out of the classroom through the years, so I knew which Mom was Evan's mom and could see the resemblance in Megan's mom, for instance, but we're always in such a hurry to drop-off and pick-up that we've never actually exchanged names or talked. And it turned out that everyone was NICE people. Interested, and interesting. Kind. Funny. Good parents. There were a few dads, too, and DH had a good time talking with them. I was surprised because usually I get all nervous and introverted and don't talk to anyone. Maybe it was the venue; you can't really help ga-gah-ing over the kids as they bounce around having the Time Of Their Lives, and you want to help the parent who's kinda misplaced their kid for the moment, because it'll happen to you 5 seconds later. It's all just jovial and friendly. Wheee! So that was fun. I wish we'd traded phone numbers, in case some Saturday I'm dying to invite one of AJ's buddies over to play, but maybe next time.

I'm also loving the little following (well, HUGE following is more like it) that Swistle has gathered -- y'all know how much I've adored her myself -- and since there is someone else, jen, who's pregnant and in her circle, and recently revealed her list of Baby Names, I thought, why not? I'm feeling like an accepted part of THAT crowd, too. (You like me, you really like me.)

Now, DH and I didn't Tell last time, and it drove people crazy. We wouldn't even tell our long list. This time I'm not feeling so secretive, although yesterday my neighbor asked and I refrained from telling him, for some reason.

I've had real trouble coming up with boy names that I like. Our last name is one syllable and begins with "T" so my rules include No T first names because: "Tee-Tee." I also don't allow "S" first names because the first names of my in-laws, down to the bride-to-be, are all "S" names, and by darn I'm not going to be the ONLY one without an "S" name on that side of the family. I suppose I should tell that AJ is really A#le#X. So, for boys:

Carson -- DH's father's middle name, and one I liked a lot last time, but I'm only 'meh' about this time. It's trendy and that turns me off a bit. I typically pair it with Joseph, which is my dad's name.

Justin -- have always liked this name, since I was a child

Owen -- which DH doesn't like

Jonathan -- haven't even told DH I'm mulling this one over but I think he'd approve

William (Will) -- ditto this

DH likes Logan, but I wrinkle my nose at it a little. He also suggests Blade, but I wrinkle my nose at it a lot and hope he's kidding.

Marcus is another one I kinda like, but not Mark. Of course one of my best friends from college is Marcus (Mark) and so I hesitate.

For girls:

Jenna -- for me this is the top runner. Jenna Elizabeth, I think. Maybe Jenna Elaine.

Julianna -- DH's suggestion, and I love the sound of it, but our extended family includes a Juli-AH-na, and we prefer the other pronunciation. I think that would just get confusing.

I really was keen on Molly for a while, but we have some friends we see pretty regularly with a 4-year-old Molly, and maybe they'd be too close in age? I hate that argument, too, that someone ELSE named their kid "X..." but when it's people you actually SEE regularly or hear about in family news (Juliana), I think it makes a big difference.

Some other girl names I like:
Avery (LOVE this, although I'm not sure I care for the "A" alliteration)
Megan
Katie or Kate (not Caitee or Cate, but would probably be Katherine)
Brianna (too bad, another family name that *truly* can't be used; but I do like the way it sounds; didn't realize that 'til recently)

I mentioned to "my crowd" (hee) that I like Bernice; I do, and it's a family name. But when it comes down to it, I'm maybe not brave enough to really use it. (I do still think it was cute in Hope Floats.)

Kiddie Coaster

I got a phone call yesterday from the OB's office saying one of my blood tests had come back abnormal. >>Insert unnecessary medical information about what it could mean, here (coughdownssyndromecough), and why did you need to tell me that at this stage, Nurse Helpsalot?<< It made us a bit nervous that they wanted to schedule an ultrasound right away (today). But they wanted to measure Tummy to make sure that my due date was correct, because if not, the test results could have been skewed and maybe normal, after all.

So. I cried a bit. DH worried himself a headache. We prepared as much as we could for possibly having to do an amniocentesis if the gestational age WAS, in fact, correct. Went for the ultrasound this morning, and the first thing the technician said was, 'oh you can't be 16 weeks.' She said she thinks my due date should really be Feb 24, (15w4d) and that therefore they drew the blood too early and probably everything is fine.

They did another blood test and we should get those results next week.

What an interesting 20 hours it has been. I've always known truth in the phrase, 'Where much has been given, much will be required..." and I've anticipated that someday Much would be required of me with all my innumerable blessings in this life (...but really, God, I'm not sure I am strong enough to handle this, are you sure?...) And to start thinking, "It isn't that it's a BAD diagnosis, it's just different from what you were expecting..." (and then secretly cry when you think of it anyway)... So. I did my best to keep calm since there was not really anything to get stressed over yet, but emotions have been running rather high. Like a roller coaster, but not a really big one. A small one. Like, 2 or 3 hills, some jerky turns -- the Georgia Cyclone if you've ever been to Six Flags here. Not the Scream Machine.

Okay, now the fun part where your hair blows in the wind and you hope the ride never stops: The technician said she could GUESS the gender of the baby... but not to go shopping just yet, because it's still really too early to know for sure....





Her guess was a Girl. :)