Suh-weet!

My cholesterol just got checked -- first time ever, that I'm aware of -- and it was 172. And now, all together now, let's siiiiiiiiiigh with relief. It could be better, of course (thus, the workout regimen that began this week), but I'm just happy it's within normal levels. I fully expected it to be through the roof. Especially since I had a PIECE OF CAKE for breakfast! HA! I am of the "Bill Cosby, Himself" generation that fully believes cake has eggs, milk, and flour in it -- it's absolutely breakfast food. But I now qualify for lower health insurance rates because I took their little tests, right here at the office with all my coworkers standing by. One guy stood a bit too close to the scale while I was on it. Rude. (Can you believe they didn't have any curtained-off areas for this? I fully expected that, too, in this age of health information privacy and all. But as is the case with most of my company's procedures, this is the cheap seats, people. No frills.)

My friend J is moving in a few months, to beautiful coastal North Carolina. I am going to miss her terrifically but... last night she called me to her house to go through years' worth of her 5-year-old son's garage-sale-bound clothes. SCORE! I got jammies, long-sleeved t-shirts, the cutest mittens/hat set I've ever seen (like we need it), and a bunch of precious, preppy Striped Socks. She said I was preppy and that's why I liked the socks -- I was flattered but told her I think I only Aspire to be preppy. I think having a boy helps, though. What does a preppy girl wear, exactly, these days? I'm not sure. I think "classic relaxed" wins over "preppy" in current trends for women. I also bought AJ some jeans and cords the other day at Target, so we should be set for Fall. Of course, there's always room for more clothes (GRANDMOM). ;)

Tonight, DH and I will be poring over the loan papers for our mortgage re-fi. What fun. And then we'll talk about the health insurance we were tested for this morning -- enrollment next week. And then, if we're not trying to throw things at each other or cross-eyed with our tongues lolling about like CRAZY PEOPLE, we will revisit this vinyl siding situation and see just exactly how much cash we can afford to put into it. Don't you wish you had such an awesome Friday night planned? You know you do. Don't worry, we'll be having Stiff Drinks with a side of Alcohol for supper.

P.S. I love using the word "cords." I used to read it in books like "SuperFudge" but didn't exactly know what it meant. But it sounds so sturdy. And sort-of sophisticated. Next, I'll start calling AJ's jeans "dungarees," for that essential rough-n-tumble connotation.

Dig this...

I love reading old journals and previous blog entries. So I'm super-glad to get this meme and go digging around in my archives. Again, it's one that everyone's done before:
1. Go into your archive.
2. Find your 23rd post.
3. Find the fifth sentence (or closest to).
4. Post the text of the sentence in your blog along with these instructions.
5. Tag five other people to do the same.

He can't wait for kisses from Polie, through the spindles of the banister.

AJ had just discovered slobbery kisses from the dog. I'm reminded that this was before we'd installed the netting across all our upstairs banister spindles. Before the days of the baby gate, and well before the days when he could go up and down them all by himself! (He's finally figured out "down." We are a Tummy-Toes family. It's fun to watch him slide down! Such a big boy!)

No tagging this time. Don't want to wear out my welcome in that department!

Wish I may, wish I might

First of all, I wish I had the time to really write more, and I don't just mean my usual drivel, but I mean a good, solid, well-thought-out entry about something I care deeply about. Or a really impressive Blogging For Books entry. I feel like I'm squeezing time in for the blog between work stuff and of course, life stuff. What I'd do if I had my druthers would be to have a list of posts I'm working on, and come back to each one several times and get it right, and feel great about it. But that does not seem likely as I can barely start one before some other committment calls.

I also wish I would quit whining about my lack of time. There are 24 hours, that is that, I can't change it or fix it, so why am I so consumed by it? I apologize to you, my readers, for this constant grumbling. I resolve to do better. :)

Yesterday on the way home, I was driving next to this little old beat up Corolla, which caught my eye as I, too, own a Corolla (DH drives it), and it has a special place in my heart. It's My Little Car. My "Crayola," as Dad called it. Anyway, I peered into the window to see who was driving (I'm nosy like that -- always want to know more about the car next to me than its color and style -- and this way, in theory at least, if said car cuts in front of me, I can put a face to it and not just glare hatefully... of course it works the other way, too, if I get cut off before I see who the driver is, I glare in direct hateful proportion once I do see them). The driver was a little nun. I say "little" nun out of great respect, mind you. She looked about my age, was wearing a veil, and had a rosary hanging from the mirror and a little gold crucifix on her dashboard. And I got to thinking, what a nice life that might be. It was almost, "I wish I were a nun..." but not quite. More like I wish I had some of the benefits that go with it. I bet you didn't know there were benefits. ;)

I wonder why I never ever considered nun-dom seriously when I was at the "what to do with my life" stage. One might say it's not such an attractive option, what with the vow of poverty and all. But.... when I think about it now... with all this LIFE EXPERIENCE behind me -- it sure would be nice to have just a little bit of the poverty, by choice. Poverty's okay in a small dose, if it's by choice (and if the parish is paying for your meals and housing). If I were a nun, I wouldn't own a home, and therefore wouldn't have to worry about the fact that new siding is going to cost us $AnEnormousSum.95. I wouldn't have to care that the house will never sell without the new siding. No one has to sell their own convent and hope to make a profit! They just "live in community" within it, and let Someone Else handle the details. Quelle Bliss!

I would also sorta like to try my hand at teaching, but am not at all interested, right now, in changing my career direction and going back to school (especially not as I listen to my friend who's in grad school talk about all the crap she has to do). But if I were a nun, I'd have known teaching was in my future, and I'd have taken Education courses to prepare for it. And I'd be Expected to teach. So it'd have been an easy choice. (Of course, one of the reasons I wish to be a teacher is for their nice hours and to be with my kids while they're in school -- and that obviously wouldn't apply if I were a nun. But they still get summer vacation... they just don't get to wear their swimsuit at the beach for a week. Whoa, I'm derailing here...)

And oh, the wish for time to spend in prayer and contemplation! Those nuns probably get up early to do it, but having a Mass or chapel gathering at least a couple times a day -- right in your own house? -- that wouldn't be such a bad deal. (Plus, I am now GOOD AT getting up early! 4 days in a row, people, 5:30 am!!) I'd know the Bible backwards and forwards, and I'd know prayers and even know (better) how to listen for God in the silence. I'm not talking about being a cloistered nun, but I have to say, a silent retreat or two would probably do me a world of good, too. As long as I'm imagining this nun-life. I was even thinking, as I drove past her, "I bet she's praying right now, in the solitude of her car." And I've tried to do that, but it's not easy. I bet nuns are much better at it. Their Job is to pray, after all. It would feel like such a "sisterhood," the bond with all the other nuns. There aren't that many these days, you know. So we'd be rare and interesting -- and I can tell you, among Catholics, they're always held in pretty high regard, especially since there are so few. It's like seeing Santa Claus -- you don't get to very often, so when you do, it's special. Kids are in awe of 'em, parents remember having them as teachers, and the priests rely on them to help run the schools and churches. It might actually be fun to be Sister Mary Lee Cecelia Felicity Perpetua.

It goes without saying how much I'd be missing, of course, without my wonderful husband, and my days as a Wife and a Mother. I'd never give that up now. I truly love my life (siding issues notwithstanding). But it's interesting to imagine it. I do hope young girls out there are considering it for their lives. I'd hate to lose the nuns altogether. I have a cousin-in-law who really did consider it. Prayed about it. And chose marriage and motherhood, in the end. I think it's wonderful she was even that close to it, though.

Ah, the morning air

I have An Announcement to make:

I got up this morning at FIVE THIRTY to go for a walk.

I am so, so proud of myself. Krissy inspired me a week or two ago, but I am also constantly thinking about being 31. And not-getting-any-younger. And family history. And bad eating habits. And how you lose the ability to fight off the fat as you get older. I SO want to be a healthy example for my little man and his possible siblings. And, let's face it, I SO want to buy the cute outfits at Talbot's and not have to shop at Lane Bryant. (Vanity's perhaps an okay thing in this instance?) So I did it, I did it, I did it. I just can't NOT do it. I have to make this one of my non-negotiables, and get out there every day. Just, period. No questions or reasons, it's just one of those things I Must Do, like brushing teeth. (After a full week last week of Good Intentions, I just have to say, "Well, hooey," and get on with it.)

It was not as hard as I thought it would be to get my butt out of the house that early. For some reason I was awake today at 5, kind-of waiting for the alarm. My internal clock was beeping me stealthily, I guess. So by the time 5:30 rolled around I was actually bored, and ready to do something. (Thanks, internal clock!) I only walked about 20 minutes but I figure if I can make that a habit (would every day be too much to ask of myself?), I'll be good to go. No worries about cholesterol or heart disease for me (genetics be damned)! I will persevere and not back down and eat healthy things more than salty/yummy/sugary/tasty things. Yes, I will. (No, I won't, not all of that.) But I will, So Help Me.

I'm it

And by that I mean, someone tagged me! Chantal at Bread Crumbs in the Butter (and everyone else) is doing this meme and hey, I’ll admit to being a joiner.

Ten Years Ago:
In September, 1995, I was just beginning my senior year of college, for the first time living off-campus in a cute little apartment with my friend Cantus. It was an effort for me to ask my parents to let me do this, and I don’t know if by doing it, I was bleeding them dry, but I was also excited to have just started a work-study job that paid – get this -- $5.25/hour! I said in my diary, “But it’s about to go up to $5.75! Hope I can pay my bills!” Oh, the innocence. I “didn’t know from bills” back then! ...I was also dating, long-distance, My College BF (it had been 2 years by this point). He’d graduated a year earlier than me and moved home to Texas. I was whine-ily missing him in the particular diary entry I found for this date. *dry-heave* He wasn't a bad person, it's just that I'm realizing now what I thought was Love was really just a ginormous crush. I had a crush on him my whole freshman year, then he kissed me sophomore year, and I thought I'd died and gone to heaven. So I stuck with it longer than I should have. ANyway....!

Five Years Ago:
I was engaged to be married to DH, and had just moved myself into what would be our first little apartment home together. I had “split up” with Cantus and cried about it – it was the end of a long era of being roommates and best pals! – but was definitely enjoying having a place ALL to myself. What a treat! I was shopping for bridal dresses (I remember doing this all alone and feeling lonely), and working at the Job I Hated. That was possibly the oddest time of my life – I was living alone for the first time in my life, yet very much together with Soon-To-Be-Husband. I was thrilled and In Love, but Hated my job. It was All Paradox, All the Time.

One Year Ago:
One year ago, actually, I was counting out the last remaining hours of my maternity leave, grieving that 12 weeks -- what seemed like a lifetime of job-free days, at the beginning! -- could fizzle out so soon. I was making sure to sit outside in the cool early fall morning air each day, nuzzling the sweet little folds of AJ's creamy skin, and cooing at him, teaching him the difference between a cardinal’s "peep, peep" and a blue jay’s distant chirp. I was also walking, daily. That was nice. And I was finally comfortable with his feeding and napping schedule. It took me forever to get confident that whatever worked for us, was OK. I had read wayyyy too many books. I was sad, a year ago. Did I say that? I couldn’t imagine how to leave him.

(But we did it, and we managed, and look how far we’ve come.)

Yesterday:
I was at the office from 8-4, working working. And checking things off the list. I had lunch with DH in the lunchroom. Afterwards, I was at home with AJ, who’d had a bit of a rough tummy according to his Wonderful Teacher -– but he seemed just fine and dandy to me. I was making boxed Mac & Cheese (Gerah!) with broccoli and tuna -– a mighty delicious dinner if I do say so myself. Then I was briefing DH on the goings-on, handing AJ over, and sneaking out to choir practice. Then I was singing. Then I was rolling my eyes. Then, thanks be to God, I was home again, watching Lost and folding itty-bitty socks.

Five Songs I Know All The Words To:
The Morning Mambo, by Bear
Insomniac, by Billy Pilgrim
Livin’ on a Prayer, Bon Jovi
Lord of All Hopefulness
Another Suitcase in Another Hall, from Evita

Five Snacks:
Chips and Salsa
Chips and Guacamole
Chips and cheese dip
Chips and bean dip
Chips and I don’t know, what else is there?!… Um… Peach Salsa

Five things I'd do with 100 million dollars:
Lordy. Buy a new house. Well, first, fix up and sell this one. DECORATE new house. Buy husband a new car. (Or three.) Hire an accountant.

Five places I'd run away to:
Paris
Canada
Minnesota
Colorado
Episcopal Church

Five things I would never wear:
A wet suit
A Scuba tank
Gauchos
Leg warmers
army fatigues

Five Favourite TV Shows
Lost
Queer Eye
Amazing Race
Will & Grace
Ally McBeal

Five greatest joys
Husband
AJ
Family
Singing
Great food

Five favourite toys:
? I have no idea.


Current Reads:
Good Wives
Parenting magazine (I’m a sucker, I read it)
A Million Blogs
Real Simple magazine
My cookbooks

Five People I am tagging to do this:
I think a lot of my peeps have already done it. Krissy? Have you? SDW? Feel like a goof-off exercise? Beansy? Indigo Girl? Stacie? How 'bout it?

How he melts my heart

I think I stole that title from my friend at poop & suits. But hers was about Baby. Mine is about Husband.

Have you ever heard the theme song to Charlie and Lola? Go to that link right now and listen. It's not particularly sad, I don't think, but it is kind-of sweet, and obviously British, so it's different from the music of most of our US kids' shows. Well, AJ, in his love for Playhouse Disney, hears this theme song quite a bit as he waits for Breakfast with Bear. (I'd link it, too, but I'm lazy. Bear's his actual favorite.) As a result, Husband and I hear it quite a bit. We sing it to each other for a laugh sometimes, when we're not singing Elmo's theme song, or Bear's.

The sweetest thing is, Husband says this Charlie and Lola song makes him kind-of sad. When he thinks about it at work. When he's away from his little boy.

It isn't even Friday

...and yet, I'm playing stupid Internet games!

Your 80s Heartthrob Is

Kirk Cameron

Who's Your 80's Heartthrob?

Ah, Kirk -- I did have quite the crush on him at one time. He was always in my "M-A-S-H" lineup, along with Ricky Schroeder when he was Ricky. :) Too funny.

Bonne anniversaire a toi

And zat, my frennz, is how ve say Happy Birz-day En Francais.

It was my Mom's birthday yesterday. And many bloggers I know would have written a long, loving letter to Mom, a letter that would make readers weep with its beauty, and actually feel like they could hang on the strength of that bond of biological goodness connecting one to the other. My blog, however, sat dormant while I struggled to corral the papers on my desk. Those stinking papers would not be tamed. Every time I delved into one project, the guy from the other project called me to interrupt. And I couldn't sit for five minutes and DO something without having to get up to go do something else. Frustrating. I did call my Mom and tell her I love her (I do, y'know), and I sent a card. I didn't manage a present. It's hard enough for me to get groceries (sorry, whine) let alone get a gift, wrap it, and get to the post office to send it. WHERE IN THE HE** IS A POST OFFICE, anyway? I can't find one near our new office.

So Mom's either getting a belated (online) gift, or none at all. Terrible. I'm her first-BORN! It is I that MADE her a mother! And yesterday I failed her. ;) Luckily, she is very kind and said, "Oh, honey, you don't have to send gifts." When meanwhile I know my cousin and cousin's wife who don't even have the money to spend on presents, got her one, and went to her party. So, the guilt. Terrible.

Even WORSE: I completely forgot my friend's birthday on the 24th!! Cantus NEVER EVER forgets my birthday. She was my roommate in college and for 4 years after, until I met DH. She is a dear, dear friend even though I hardly ever see her anymore, since she lives Inside the Perimeter and I live OTP. I called her up on a whim yesterday and as it was ringing.... I remembered. So instead of a happy little "I was thinking about you" voice mail, I had to leave her a "I'm so sorry, happy belated" voice mail. Bummer.

It makes me mad, sort-of, that my life as a working mommy has made me so much LESS focused on my friends and family. I feel like, when I talk to Mom and Dad on the phone, it's so one-sided and "Here's what else we did. And then this. And then AJ did this cute thing, and this, and this one, too." And I also hate having to talk TO him while I'm on the phone with them, because Before I was a mommy, that was a serious pet-peeve about other Mommies I knew. (What can I say? I didn't know things then.)

"Honey, no no don't touch that cord... Hang on, yeah what were you saying about the wedding? Oh, yes, I agr -- no, NO, AJ. Come over here, let's look at your puzzle. Mm-hm, mm-hm, definitely wear the green one... good job, AJ! Yeah, with the strappy sandals."

I know my parents love to hear all that stuff, but it still feels different from how we used to talk. Mom and I (and Sis) can sit at the kitchen table All Day and chat about nothing much. But in that time we learn so much about each other, and share opinions, and often get very Philosophical. Used-ta could on the phone, too.

And I just hate forgetting someone's birthday. Because when it's MY birthday, I LOVE getting the phone calls and cards in the mail, especially from people other than family. Like Cantus. Or my cousins. I want to be the girl who sends (at least e-) cards, every year. Who thinks about Other People once in a while.

I need to set alarms, I guess, to ensure I vill remembah zeez tings.

It's not a brain-cloud

...it's a house-cloud. This weekend our refrigerator died. Or at least, fell on its back gasping. Clutching at its heart. I'm sitting here with Boris now, who's replacing the defrost mechanism. To the tune of $400, la-la-la. Our poor house. Can't get out from under this pox it's got.

Friday fives

Let's all give a high-five to the weekend! This week has crawled by. To celebrate: Friday's Feast:

Appetizer
Name something someone has done lately that impressed you.
My friend showed me something yesterday that she figured out all by herself. It was a workaround solution to a problem I had, and she saved me about 40 bucks and a lot of downloading time. Nice! She is entirely too smart and I sometimes wish I could figure stuff out like she does. It is impressive.

Soup
Do you have any relaxing rituals? If so, what are they?
I do love to take a nice bath. There's not much ceremony to it, I just soak and sigh!

Salad
If you could spend the winter season somewhere other than your current location, where would you choose to stay?
Oooh, the winter season! Well, my husband has a fascination with Colorado, and I did, once, go skiing there and stayed in a nice cabin in the mountains. I think it'd be fun to hole up like that for the winter. We might actually see some snow, and have a fire every night, and have to wear boots. The novelty would be just about right for a 3-month stay (although I know winter lasts longer out/up there!) Winter for us isn't much of a season -- just cold and sometimes rainy. There's absolutely no magic to it. We sometimes get snow but it's never until the end of March, when we're ready for it to be spring already. I'd like to experience the tall, silent pine trees, blanketed with snow and dripping icicles. Once.

Main Course
When was the last time you had dinner out, and what was the name of the restaurant?
My last dinner out... let's see... that would have to have been months ago weeks... no, wait, when we went to Savannah on the 9th-10th we went out to dinner at The Lady & Sons. Spent a boatload of cash, had wine, appetizers, desserts...y-u-m-m-y.

Dessert
If you had a boat, what would you name it?
(Great reference: Lyle Lovett's "If I Had a Boat." One of my very favorite songs ever.) I've seen so many great boat names in the marinas in Florida. Like, The "Her Diamond." The "Jack N A Splash" (ha!). The "Nograstomo" (get it?). People are so clever. However, being that I'm not much for sea legs, I'd probably have to name mine the "Lady Dram-a-Mine." Or else, the "Ku-ku Ka-choo" (from Finding Nemo, duuude)!


And now, let's get our grateful on:

• For my little man, who woke up so sweetly this morning and makes every day worth waking up for...
  
• For my grown-up man, who's making difficult decisions at work this week, but keeping his loyalites to our family and our quality of life....and still remembering to take good care of me with kindness...
  
• For getting things checked off the to-do list at work...
  
• For good music, and even the songs that get stuck in my head, because they make me think of loved ones, lately...
  
• For a life that's full and satisfying, if a bit overcrowded sometimes... this is the way it's supposed to be, isn't it? Family, work, dinner, singing, driving, rushing, cleaning, sighing, playing, reading, tickling, answering, striving, wishing, trying... living.
  
• Updated 10:25 am to add: Grateful for that We had pasta with fresh basil last night. Fresh basil that is planted in my (container) garden, which is something I've longed for, for many moons. So fresh! So sweet! So delicious with lemon and parmesan. :)
  

A-Brewin'

God in heaven, what is the meaning of the violent storms?? MUST WE? AGAIN? And of course, what's going to happen is the political bull---t; how, just because Texas is MOBILIZING and getting the HELL out of DODGE, everyone's going to say, "ohssshure, that's GEORGE BUSH's home state, no WONDER the federal government's taking care of the TEXANS..." and that is a bunch of CRAP. One of my co-workers already tried to start something like that this morning and I am telling you, I do not want to HEAR IT. I just about put my headphones on WHILE HE WAS TALKING. If the Texans are getting evacuated it is because no one, not one state, could possibly have missed the news in the last 4 weeks, and perhaps now we've all seen what can happen and We Are Not Stupid! If FEMA is sending water and supplies it is because, well duh! I mean, it's because they have to! They've already been roasted and raked, they can't afford to screw it up again, so they won't. I'm just sick and tired of all the politicizing, and don't tell me my head's in the sand. If the Prez HAD gone on TV the day of the last Incredibly Devastating Hurricane, what would that have accomplished? The people who needed his Capital-R Reassurance? ...They Didn't Have Power, Y'all. The people who began criticizing were, what? Sitting at their TVs waiting to see him on there? (Read: Also not helping.)

Anyway, forgive my rant -- I am SO against party politics it isn't even worth engaging me, because I'm not going to answer -- but can't we just for once, STAND TOGETHER and cluck our tongues at the severity of NATURE? Without having to wonder who caused it? And wouldn't it be nice if somehow, storms could magically Dissolve just the same way they appear (only backwards)?

Infinite possibilities

I present... my To Do list!

(AJ's at daycare and I'm WFH today, so I have grand delusions that I'll accomplish oodles of things that normally are left by the wayside. Shut up, I know -- less typing, more doing!)

1. at least 2 hours of content input make that 5.5 hrs -- SCORE!
   
2. at least 2 hours of content writing
   
3. go to the nursery (plants, not kids) and get pots, soil, and plants
   
4. two loads of laundry
   
5. make pie
   
6. plant new containers while AJ plays alongside me
   

See what I mean? Delusions. But a girl's gotta dream.

Same old

There are some great discussions happening on the 'net. Selkie's got homeschooling, Gerah's got full-time-working-mom questions, and I've got... the following.

blah blah blah blah not really feelin' work today blah blah blah blah the "Morning Mambo" is stuck in my head (from Disney Channel) blah blah blah blah at least husband told me I'm Pretty blah blah blah blah blah I definitely need new shoes blah blah blah blah neck still hurts blah blah blah blah blah blah blah am hungry for breakfast blah blah blah blah ooh, better put a load of laundry in blah blah blah blah blah some days I wish I was a novelist with really great stories that needed telling blah blah blah blah guess I need to get to work.

20 random things

Please tell us 20 random things about yourself. Keep track of how many minutes you take, and tag that many people to perform this exercise themselves.
8:05 am

1. My neck is very sore this morning, for the 2nd day in a row. I can't turn my head in any direction.
2. I drink coffee every weekday morning. 2 Splendas, Fat-free half-n-half.
3. I am doing CMS training today.
4. I'm still wearing sandals even though it's almost officially Fall.
5. I pulled a few weeds this weekend.
6. I've been reading a book for a month now and am only on Chapter 3.
7. I even like the book.
8. My watch battery has been dead for 3 weeks.
9. I'm getting used to going without a watch.
10. I took at least 1 music class every semester of college, but have no music degree.
11. I majored in French but can't speak it confidently anymore.
12. I only have 3 pairs of earrings that I wear regularly.
13. I have a U2 song stuck in my head.
14. I love yoga.
15. I forgot to get milk, of all things, last time I went grocery shopping.
16. I hate getting my feet wet in dew-soaked grass.
17. But I often go barefoot, when I go outside.
18. My favorite candy bar is Whatchamacalit.
19. I used to love going to the teacher-store (school-supplies store) when I was little.
20. I have green tea & aloe fragranced hand soap, which smells yummy.

End:8:11 am

I'm not tagging 6 people, but I finished this faster than I thought I would. I barely know 6 people on the Internet! Join in, if you like, in Comments or your own blog.

Radios should have a "replay" button

I had to do an aural double-take this morning when, after the local NPR affiliate's traffic guy gave me the low-down on the highways and byways, he said: "This traffic report sponsored by the WWE Friday Night Smackdown."

Something just not quite right about that.

Like the Tower of Pisa...

I'm leaning toward not singing in "Herod." As flattered as I am by the invitation, and as much as I think it'd be a fun endeavor, I am haunted by this: "They're only young once." I don't think it's unreasonable for me to crave as much time as possible with my little one. IF I were a full-time SAHM, the story would be entirely different. But three nights out of seven is too many to be away, and, I think, a big request to make of my spouse, and those nights don't even include Book Clubs and Date Nights. I just felt egocentric & bratty, wanting to chase my precious vocalist/soloist dream, and while I *definitely* want to teach AJ to pursue his interests and use his talents, I also want him to know -- to believe, deep in his bones -- that family matters most in this world.

Besides that, I have gotten just about NO work done today. It would behoove me to to be home tonight, WRITING. And not in my blog. :)

I really appreciate all your advices.

The Longest Post Ever Written, Ever

I’ve been composing this entry since about 5:00 p.m. today while in my car, so forgive me if it’s a bit disjointed, ‘cause there’s a lot of information in me that wants to get out. It’s been swimming around in my brain all afternoon and I’ve been saying, “hold onto it, just hold onto these thoughts,” because they’re good ones and I don’t want to lose them. There’s going to be run-ons and stream-of-consciousness, though, because all of a sudden today -- this week, really -- I am VERY conscious. Meaning I have lots of thoughts. That want to pour out. So pour, they shall. Forgive me in advance, it’s going to be Lo-Hong.

What I wanted to title this was The Navy Blue Girl with the Little Umbrella, and channel her because when it rains, it pours, and it has been pouring on me lately. In the form of:

…Work…
I mean to tell you, I am BUSY as a little bee these last coupl'a weeks. It’s going well, actually – much to my surprise I am enjoying the art of Project Management for two clients, whose websites are being produced in roughly the exact same time frame. With roughly the exact same designers and writers doing both. And meanwhile writing content for a third site. And meanwhile, needing to input content for a fourth site, that I wrote months ago, but all of a sudden after sitting, is hot-hot-hot. IT’s a little crazy. I send emails all day and coordinate this and don’t forget that, and schedule one thing right as I’m crossing another off my list. (And this is NOTHING, NOTHING in comparison to the work that some of my colleagues do every day who happen to read this blog; just want them to know I realize that my blip on the screen is their MAJOR PROJECT!, and I appreciate very much the idea that they do really hard work day in, day out.) But I’m rather swamped. Yesterday as I walked in my clicky high-heeled sandals to our weekly tech meeting, carrying my laptop with me and feeling a little bit self-important, I thought of my best friend MB. She’s been a SAHM her whole married life, and has often said how she envies me and my career. I thought, “This is exactly the kind of situation she probably craves –- got my hair all done, wearing a skirt and a new blouse, feeling all career-minded, carrying my laptop. So “Executive” am I. And she WANTS this. And that made me LIKE IT just that tiny bit more, yesterday. Not that I want her jealous, that’s not what I mean –- just that there’s someone out there in the world who’d like to do this, and I GET to do it. But then today, after sending the aforementioned emails and coordinating etc., it all bubbled up in my head and seemed so superficial and so unnecessary. All this random crap, paperwork, clients, office supplies, deadlines –- I don’t know what to do about it but because I was feeling overwhelmed, I guess, my brain started wanting to release it all –- just to scatter it away because it’s too much, too much stupid bogus rat-racing. Maybe that’s how this post got started. Anyway, those are my thoughts about work.

…Choir and Life…
Okay, here’s the real reason I got all “twitterpated” to use a word my friend used recently and I hadn’t heard in a hundred years, and love. I called my old choir director today. “Old” meaning former. He has recently asked me to be a part of (or at least audition* for, but I’m guessing I’m already guaranteed a spot by his tone) a holiday play called “Herod” that he’s worked on for years and years – it’s a very respected work in the Atlanta arts community, I think, (or at least by one woman I know who’s tuned into the Atl Arts scene), locally written I believe, and choral and plainsong (kinda chant-like but not quite so medieval). He’s complimenting me more than he knows by telling me my voice would be perfect for it. He’s told me twice, and each time my head swells a teensy bit. And he asked me to consider it last year and I had to turn him down ‘cause AJ was still so little. So, okay, what’s the big deal? AJ’s not that little anymore. It'd be GOOD music, something I enjoy singing, as opposed to the crapola that I mentioned last week. This Director, Director-K, we’ll call him, is a respected musician, Director of Choirs for the cathedral, the seat of the Archdiocese, the last 20 years, and he LIKES MY VOICE –- it seems to be a pretty easy decision that I’d very politely say, “Thank You, Mr. Director-Sir, I would LOVE to be in your play, thank you again, and see you on Wednesday!” That’s a no-brainer. That’s something you WANT to do -– sing gorgeous, ethereal music in a stone cathedral. Yes, yes, yes, no brainer. Except. Sigh..... Except it’s another 2 nights a week that I’d be away from my boy. At least two, in addition to Wednesday, when I sing in the St. J’s choir (the one that SU-hucks, but to which I’m feeling sorta committed and loyal and it hasn’t even been a year since I joined it). So what to do? I’m going to be out of town for Christmas anyway, so perhaps it’d be a great excuse to go “on sabbatical” from St. J’s this fall, since next week I believe we’ll be starting the Christmas music anyway. And then go right back and resume my position in January as if nothing happened, and everyone’s happy. Except in my self-important way, I’m thinking I’m kinda a decent soprano at St J’s, and that Director, Director-J we’ll call him, relies on me quite a bit. Not to carry the section, (not that I’m going to say that OUT LOUD), but just to be there, on time, when I’m supposed to be. You know. And besides that, I read music which is helpful. And which precious few other of the St J’s choir members do, actually. (ahem, meow, and all that).

So, (new paragraph, you’re welcome), does it become SELFISH and VAIN for me to want to do this other performance? OR is it me being ME, and taking the time to develop my skills and hobbies and be my best self, thus delivering me as a better Mommy and Wife because I’m happy with who I am and what I’m doing with my life. Or is it the selfish one? I just can’t reconcile the time away from AJ, although Husband has said emphatically that he’ll support me and do whatever he needs to do if I really want this. So Helpful, he is. And not that AJ is old enough to remember, anyway, but he’s still at the separation anxiety stage and I can hardly bear hearing him cry 3 nights a week as I walk out the door… even though I KNOW, I know he goes right back to playing 5 minutes later. But if this opportunity is of the “best self” variety, do I quit the other choir to lessen my own guilt? And how about that Husband? How about I spend a little time with him once in a while, huh? Oh, SIGH. And how many times will Director-K (the important one) keep asking me to do this, and hear me turn it down, before he stops? Sometimes ya gotta strike while the iron’s hot, y’know. Get while the getten’s good. Snap up that worm. Etc.

I could write another book about choir, and taking myself less seriously in the face of all this contemporary vs. traditional, good bad and otherwise music, and actually hearing the words of verse two: “Open my Ears, Lord, help me to Hear Your Voice…. And we’ll speak in new ways, and we’ll see God’s face….” – speak in new ways, that’s the line that got me -– that maybe with my ears and heart open and less focused on what we're NOT singing, I’ll learn that this contemporary stuff isn’t so bad, and wow, what a reward, to see God’s face in all that… and then another book about the crickets and tree-frogs singing their own (probably contemporary) music during my drive home through the National Forest, meanwhile I’m listening to Beethoven on Karl Haas’s show on NPR… hmm. But Lordy, this is getting longer and longer.

…AJ…
Ending on a fun note, I am LOVING the teacher in AJ’s Infant 2 room. Miss S. She has privataely told me AJ’s her favorite and I can only hope that she says the very same thing to all the other parents. But man, is she good. She really gives me the full report at the end of the day telling me who he played with and what he liked and didn’t’ like and how much or how little he cried. And… AND! Today that included he has a little GIRLFRIEND!!! Hee hee! I am so in love with this: she said that Anna has taken to him with a nickname and everything, and that today they walked around HOLDING HANDS. OMG is that the cutest thing you have ever heard??? They’re ONE!!! Year old, I mean! Bless her for telling me that. Husband said, “Son, they have COOTIES, don’t you know??” hahahaha. Precious. Precious.

Meanwhile, someone in the class has Stomatitis, from the Foot-n-Mouth category of highly contagious illnesses, ewww, so I certainly hope all of that hand-holding isn’t going to get him into trouble at such a young age! Of course they disinfected the whole place multiple times and kicked the sick kid out, but still. A mother worries.

My GAWD, does it feel good to have it all out. I told you it pours.

*Edited to add that the real obstacle is that the audition gathering is TOMORROW, at 6:30pm, which is of course AJ’s dinner-time and not the easiest time to be traveling to the center of town, especially considering Darling Husband can’t be home before 6:30 (especially not on short notice), and I can’t ask the neighbor because I still owe her from the dogs last weekend, and this is when it would be really handy to have my mother living across the street. So do I take him with me and pray to St. Cecelia (surely she was a mother as well as a singer?) that he doesn’t create holy hell and distraction while Mommy’s trying to sound like an angel? Do I give him a BOTTLE, from which he’s been officially WEANED, but which I know will occupy his mouth for at least 10 minutes and keep the noise levels down? For crying out loud. I guess it’s all I can really do, though...

Why iTunes makes it better

Tuesday again, the warmly welcomed morning at home alone, with coffee and my laptop. And this morning it's even more wonderful because I've been furiously ripping CDs to iTunes these last few days. My CDs. For Christmas, I have asked DH to get me an iPod. Yeah,yeah, behind the times, I know, but better late than never. I am forever indebted to my husband, mind you, for introducing me to a lot of great artists, like Liz Phair and Modest Mouse and the Judybats, but his collection is a little bit heavy on Unknown-Alternative, and sorely lacking in Cutting Crew and Amy Grant and Lyle Lovett (with his Large Band). So today I've heard all three of those, plus a little Norah Jones, and I'm purring like a little kitten with a dish of milk all to herself. Purrrrrr.

If only iTunes could toast a bagel, we'd be all set.

Entree, side dish, salad, dessert

Today I have made a new kind of list. It is relative to the never-ending grocery list, and certainly dependent on the weekly menu listing I always try to make. It is the "Dinner Guests" list. There are about 6 different families/couples that DH and I constantly say, "We need to have them over for dinner," and never do. SO -- starting this week I'm going to be inviting people. First, the next-door neighbors, whose dogs I said we'd look after this weekend, right before we made plans to be out of town. Ooops. I probably owe the across-the-street-neighbors, too, who ended up pinch-hitting for me. Let the stress fun begin.

I really like having people over, actually. I get that from my Dad, who'd have guests every night if he could. My Mom is not as keen on that idea, but she does an amazing job of being hostess when he plans a party of 15 without telling her first (asking?)! My DH gets a wee bit more stressed about entertaining -- he wants the house to be perfect and spotless before even considering letting the world in to see. Me? I mean, yeah, it'd be nice, but.... bah. If my dust bunnies scare you, don't look in the corners. Come be with us and laugh with us and eat our food.

Here are some yummy things I have made for guests:
Jerk Chicken on the grill. (Grilling is always a winner because it gets the husband involved and he shines at it). Side items: yellow rice, maybe "party broccoli," chips and dips.
BBQ Brisket. One of Mom and Dad's standards. With pinto beans and coleslaw on the side.
Gumbo. What could be easier? Throw it all in the pot. Cook up some rice. Done.
Chili. Especially good for Monday night football get-togethers.
Taco Salad. One of my favorites and easy as pie. -- Oooh, pie! That, too.
Lasanga, Ceasar, and Garlic Bread. Who doesn't cook this? I am not above Stouffer's, either. :)

You know, none of these things is gourmet. It'd be nice to get all trendy and do something with feta, but... well, maybe I have extraordinarily forgiving friends, because when I don't go nuts over the menu, I can relax and enjoy the company. So, this is one of my goals for the next few months (before the holiday craziness begins). To feast and fete and fellowship (v.) with friends.

Mini-break

We're off to visit the paternal grandparents this weekend, so they can smooch on AJ at will (and we can go out on a real live date). They haven't seen him in a while and I feel an eensy bit bad that my parents, semi-retired, get to see him whenever they want. Of course, it's just like when I was a kid -- my Mom's parents lived far away and my Dad's were in town. Luckily, you don't grow up loving one set any more or less than the other -- it all works out just fine. :) I'm blessed to have very nice people for in-laws. They're not quite like me, but easy enough to get along with. AND, they're providing some very superfluous new toys for AJ! Just what he needs! Let's hope that at least one of them has Elmo on it. (Mo-mo, our new best friend!)

We'll be sans Internet for the weekend and sans clean laundry when we return, so I bid you a temporary farewell -- I gotta get busy packing, and/or cleaning the dog cr*p out of the bottom of my shoe, thanks to this morning's "recess," during which I did not pay attention to where I was stepping, because I was busy talking to three different neighbors who popped outside to say hi. Eww. (The dog mess, not the neighbors. The neighbors are quite nice).

Get out the Twizzlers, we're goin' on a road trip. :)

And in entertainment news...

With their debut album certified platinum, country music's latest sensation is local Atlanta trio, Sugarland, and they aced the CMA award nominations yesterday -- that's Country Music Association for you non-believers -- with three, including Vocal Group of the Year!

The reason this is so exciting for me is that I feel like I know them. I don't, really, but see the lone guy in the group? That's Kristian Bush, and I've been a fan of his since way back when he played The Depot at Emory University in 1992 with his then-musical-partner, Andrew Hyra. They were 2 guys with guitars, folk-rock to the Nth degree, and I absolutely fell in LOVE with it, and with them. They wrote cutting lyrics and singable melodies -- my kind of tunes. I have every album. I saw them at least 8 times. My roommate and I shared this little fan-dom, and we weren't alone -- Billy Pilgrim, as they named their act, still has scores of devoted fans although they broke up several years ago. Some of their fans are annoyingly rabid -- to the point where they're still whining in emails to the list-serv, "Why doesn't BP get back together?!?!" (Yes, I'm still on the list-serv.)

Meanwhile, Kristian has taken this wonderful turn with his music and is SUCCEEDING! It's impressive because he's thirty-something. He has a wife and a little boy. He has played the local bar circuit and sold CDs out of his trunk his whole life. BP did well, and signed with Atlantic records at one point, but it wasn't the perfect management situation for them, so they gave it up. And how courageous of them -- the chance to be on a major label, but they didn't want it if they couldn't be in control of the music. And now lookee -- he's Platinum! He's going to win a national award! He is so cool. And yes, yes I did: I knew him when. Sort-of.

One of the band's managers/closest friends -- she's mentioned in the liner notes, right at the top! -- works here, at my company, during the daylight hours. So my degree of separation is ONE, direct to my musical hero (and, admittedly, one of my few celebrity crushes, hee). Guess that makes this entry less congratulatory and more "screaming girly fan." But really, I'm very proud of them. They deserve it, no doubt about that.

Summer beauty

This afternoon, we saw our Butterfly.

AJ and I have been noticing, when we play outside in the yard, this year's abundance of butterflies. Have you noticed them, too? I've never before seen such big, beautiful ones so often. Of course, I've never played outside so much, not since I was a kid. ;) So we've been watching for them. He seems to be intrigued, which is adorable. He turns his head and follows their scattered flight patterns, and calls out to me, "Buuuuhhhh---?" Which is his way of saying "Buuuuutter-fly!" like Mommy does. I have visions of a little boy with a white net on a stick, running after the butterflies in a glowy, hazy summer dream...me, watching him from the window, smiling, wistfully.... then I remember he's not quite there yet. But I am. If it weren't for needing to stay by him and make sure he doesn't trip on our uneven driveway and sidewalk, I'd run and jump and laugh with every one. The big, yellow and black and blue (gorgeous!) ones, and the little solid-butter-yellow ones, and even sometimes the brown moths, which catch my eye because I'm absolutely Waiting for something to flutter in my peripheral vision.

Lepidoptera, in case you were wondering the scientific name.

So today, we were coming home from work and from daycare, and as always, we trekked out onto the driveway with Napoleon and his tennis ball, all the way to the mailbox to get the mail. We have Gerber daisies and a perennial red dianthus planted there, so it's a good cultivating spot, I guess. I wasn't much paying attention, but very softly, she alighted in the dianthus and went about her work -- it looked like she was harvesting nectar, although I didn't realize they did that. (How dumb am I? I never took botany or horticulture, I guess.) And I whispered, as loudly as I could, "AJ!!! Come over here quick, and see the Butterfly!" It was hard to keep the environment safe and welcoming for her, what with a 65-pound Lab panting and smacking and pawing at his tennis ball, and at me. But she stayed, and continued her fluttering, for at least 10 minutes. She'd be off and about for a minute or two, across to the neighbor's yard, up, up into the trees, then back down again. And kept returning to our garden. I was so honored. So blessed. And AJ quieted down and really stood there and watched her with me, up close, her wings moving more slowly as she drank that nectar. My arms around his little waist, his mouth open in wonder, my heart racing with excitement.

I wanted to freeze that moment. Instead, I tried to get too close. My granola neighbor, upon learning that AJ is into butterflies lately, showed off his skillz last weekend and let one of the big pretty yellow ones sit on his finger for a minute. So I got all ambitious and tried to do the same, today, and she realized she was being watched. She wasn't as into us as we were into her! She flew far away. But I do hope she'll come back. I am sure, in my little personal fiction, that we keep seeing the same one over and over. Sweet, sweet buuuuuter-fly.

(Something about butterflies, and having a mini-obsession with them, strikes me as very '70s all of a sudden. Next thing you know I'll get a screen-printed t-shirt -- or better yet, a glitter decal -- of the Butterfly, the Unicorn, and the Rainbow all holding hands and singing "I'd Like to Buy the World a Coke." But I don't care. She's pretty. I like her. If I was a homeschool Mom, we'd have a unit on Leo...Luh....I mean, Lepidoptera.)

Mirror, mirror, on the wall

I'm as vain as Snow White's Queen, y'all.

I'm wearing my hair back in a barette today, for the first time in about 10 years (besides Sis's wedding). As a matter of fact, even 10 years ago when I had long-ish hair, in college, I rarely put it in a barette. I was a headband girl. But anyway, today, since it's still in the "growing" stage, there are bits and pieces that stray All The Damn Time and it's driving me crazy. As a result, I've been to the restroom about One Hundred Times to play with it. And re-position it. And re-do. And finger-comb. And gaze, gaze, gaze into the mirror. It's vanity in its purest form! How do I look?!?! I even went to Target to buy some new Hair Implements, since mine are from about 1989. Sis* says I can just play off the stray pieces as "Sexy-Messy," like Elliott on Scrubs. Great idea! Sexy-Messy. I can aspire to that.

*To whom I owe most of the content of this blog. She's awful sweet to let me gack everything she says and publish it here.

IM me

re: choir woes

Here's where I point out how much of a music snob I am, and how I wish I could find a traditional church choir that sings the OLD HYMNS like "Faith of our Fathers" and "Lift High the Cross." Instead, we have a mix of about 1/3 those old greats and 2/3 things like the following. Sigh. It's okay. But sometimes it gets to me, how we're ignoring the years and years of good music in the Catholic church... hello, things like Mozart and Beethoven and, who's that other guy? Oh yeah, St. Gregory of Gregorian chant fame.... music that transcends time and connects us with our forefathers and mothers. We've focused so much on adding the modern things from contemporary Christian radio because we're all very "open minded." Don't get me wrong, I love some of the CC things. On the RADIO. Or in the "contemporary" service. There's a time and a place. Anyway, without further adieu, my sister and I, talking about the contemporary song my choir studied at rehearsal last Wednesday:

MySelf says: (2:27:03 PM)
YES!! On to happier things!

MySelf says: (2:27:20 PM)
ummm...... *crickets*.....

Sis says: (2:27:28 PM)
hahaha

MySelf says: (2:28:31 PM)
My choir SUCKS! How 'bout that? We're singing "With one Vooooice, we'll pass the Word along! With one voooooiiiiice, bring justice to the wooooooorld!" CLAP CLAP CLAP --claps written into the Freaking Score!!!! Bllllahghghghg. I could die.

Sis says: (2:29:17 PM)
Ewwwwww! And you're actually doing the claps? Yuck!!!!! and cheesy words, too.

MySelf says: (2:30:30 PM)
NO way will I do the clapping. (she says resolutely, knowing she will). It's too much. AND --- ANNND! He's hired a DRUMMER for the 10:45am "traditional" Mass!!! Or else the guy volunteered. But I'm saying, "TRADITIONAL" does not mean Rock and Roll Drummer!!! Let him play ANY other mass but not this, this Last Vestige of Musical Decency!!!!

MySelf says: (2:30:51 PM)
(which isn't even that decent anymore!)

Sis says: (2:31:42 PM)
can't the choir argue that you can't CLAP and hold music at the same time? All clapping must be nixed. And oh, geez, a drummer? no other instruments, just drums and piano/organ? Horrifying.

MySelf says: (2:32:26 PM)
Probably flute and violin, too. It IS horrifying. What a perfect word. LOL

MySelf says: (2:34:05 PM)
Of course now that stinking song is in my head!

Sis says: (2:34:06 PM)
flute, violin, and frums. what a perfect trio!

Sis says: (2:34:06 PM)
drums

Sis says: (2:34:15 PM)
i'm glad I don't know it

Sis says: (2:34:52 PM)
we're going to go to the cathedral on Sunday and hear the big choir and fancy organ. I'll think of you, being miserable, clapping to the beat of the drum.

MySelf says: (2:35:28 PM)
I know! How divinely inspired, right?! Oh, and the worst thing is that it's for "nine-eleven," which is what Director calls the week after this one -- he refuses just to say Sunday, the 11th. It's NINE-ELEVEN. The ANNIVERSARY. Gggggag. "Bringing justice to the world.... (like Iraq?)."

MySelf says: (2:35:47 PM)
LUKCY YOU, going to the cathedral! I will listen from afar.

Sis says: (2:36:03 PM)
teehee! can't stop laughing

Sis says: (2:36:14 PM)
9/11. whoa

Sis says: (2:36:27 PM)
justice to the terrorists

MySelf says: (2:36:29 PM)
My pain, your laughter. No, I'm kidding. it's so awful it's funny.

Sis says: (2:37:56 PM)
good luck trying to keep a straight face next sunday

MySelf says: (2:38:23 PM)
seriously!!

MySelf says: (2:38:26 PM)
I may have to leave.

MySelf says: (2:38:51 PM)
It WOULD be inappropriate to be laughing out loud in the middle of such a MOVING presentation!! hahahaha!!!!!!

Sis says: (2:39:22 PM)
moving, yeah. moving folks out of the choir maybe

MySelf says: (2:39:47 PM)
lollolol!

Nicest things I've heard

Among all the severely depressing news about Louisiana and Mississippi -- which continues to make me cry every time I turn on the TV or NPR -- I have heard a couple of very encouraging things.

-- Governor of Mississippi, this morning, saying "...we're gonna 'hitch up our britches'..." and get things back in order as fast as possible. Makes me want to hug him. "Hitch up our britches."

-- Atlanta Falcons player Warrick Dunn, challenging every player in the NFL to donate (at least) $5,000.00 to disaster relief. The total would be in the 2 billions. I am now a big fan of Warrick Dunn. (And of the Falcons, who've ALL already ponied up, according to reports.)

-- In Houston, at the Astrodome, some guy who owns a pizza restaurant has his employees (and himself, I presume) over there making pizzas for the refugees. Now THAT is a great way to contribute. It's the little things, you know? But hell, FOOD is rather a big thing. Kudos to him.

It's a disaster down there (understatement of the year) and I can't imagine how in the world the relief organizations can even organize themselves, right there in the thick of it, to get anything accomplished. The name "organization" is sort-of a misnomer in this situation. They're more like "relief intentions." But there are so many local aid efforts going on, all around the country, that are going to make a big difference. Eventually. I hope.

Lullaby and good night

This is for posterity. I want to remember all the lullabies I ever sang to AJ. Don't bother reading it if you're not into lullabies. :)

Also wondering if any of you (besides my mom and sister) know any of these sweet songs.

Frog Went A'Courtin', which Grandmother (Mom's mom) sang to me:
Froggy went a'courtin' and he did ride, mm-mm.
Froggy went a'courtin' and he did ride,
A sword and pistol by his side, mm-mm.

He took Miss Mousie on bended knee, mm-mm.
He took Miss Mousie on bended knee,
Said, "Miss Mousie, will you marry me?" Mm-mm.

"Without my Uncle Rat's consent," said she...
"Without my Uncle Rat's consent I would not marry
The President," mm-mm.

Then Uncle Rat, he soon came home, mm-mm.
Then Uncle Rat, he soon came home.
"Who's been here since I've been gone?" mm-mm.

"A pretty little dandyman," said she.
"A pretty little dandyman
Who says he wants to marry me." Mm-mm.

"Where will the wedding breakfast be," mm-mm.
"Where will the wedding breakfast be?"
"Way down yonder, in a hollow tree." Mm-mm.

"What will the wedding breakfast be?" Mm-mm.
"What will the wedding breakfast be?"
"Three green beans and a black-eyed pea," mm-mm.

Then Uncle Rat gave his consent, mm-mm.
Then Uncle Rat gave his consent, and
That's the way the marriage went, mm-mm.

Froggy and Mousie went to France, mm-mm.
Froggy and Mousie went to France, and
That's the end of my romance, mm-mm.

The storybook sits on the shelf, mm-mm.
The storybook sits on the shelf,
If you want more, you'll have to read it yourself! Mm-mm.

In the Evening, which my Granny (Dad's mom) sang to me:
In the evening, when the daylight goes,
Little Flowers all begin to close.
Mama holds her little one
Quite close against her breast,
So that like the other Flowers,
He, too, may go to rest.
Angels, dear, hover near.
Watch o'er my darling boy tonight,
Stars so bright, shine your light.
Watch o'er my darling,
Keep him safe from fear.

The Angel Band/Harps of Gold (also from Granny)
"We come, we come
With our harps of gold,
From a far-off Summer Land.
The crystal River we've crossed again,
We've left the Angel Band
To bring to you on our harps of gold
Sweet Music from afar!"
With cadence soft, the angels sing
As they glide from star to star.

Rock-a-Bye, Baby, which my own Mom sang to me, and sings to AJ

(And here are some other songs I have sung when I'm tired of those top four:)
Do-Re-Mi
I Love You a Bushel and a Peck
Simple Gifts
If I Were a Butterfly
Slumber Song (Sleep, Oh My Darling)
Pirate Dreams (These last two were tucked into the far corners of my memory; I sang them in voice lessons when I was, like, 12. It was hard work to recall all the lyrics, but I did it in the deep, dark hours of those midnight feedings, when AJ was tiny.)
The Farmer in the Dell
Hush, Little Baby, Don't Say a Word (once I finally figured out all the words)

Overwhelmed

Hurricane Katrina aftermath. I can't stop listening to the news, and at the same time I can't bear to think about it. I want to do something to help, and I also want to distance myself far from the sadness and depth of the tragedy. A friend lost her father in Mississippi -- a falling tree killed him. That's so unreal. And yet it's not; it actually happened. To someone I know. My mom has elderly cousins in southeast Louisiana -- rural towns that no one's even heard from yet. These are people I know -- people I've spent holidays with -- people who tell wonderful stories with a natural, absolutely endearing Cajun accent. And we aren't sure if they're okay because they had called us beforehand to say they were going to ride it out. (In truth, it probably would have been difficult for them to pack up hurriedly and leave, so I don't even blame them for staying.) It's just too much; I am sad for our country, for the very special city of New Orleans, and for all the devastated victims. If you or your family are among them, I'm praying for you.

Fish tacos

Today is Tuesday -- the best day of the week as far as I'm concerned, besides Saturday of course. On Tuesdays, my team at work has a 10am meeting in Midtown. Since our new office is FAR and FAR from Midtown, our manager doesn't make us go in before the meeting, provided we check email and phone messages and generally get something done at home (as far as he knows). My Darling Husband drives AJ to daycare, and ergo.... I have the whole morning all to myself. See how that works?

I just vacuumed the upstairs, a quick little task of 3 bedrooms and two tile floors when I'm not using the hose on the lamps and bookshelves (which is never). DH is much more thorough. It isn't fun to vacuum, but the feeling of having it done is quite nice. Now I'm sitting down with a creamy, steamy cup of cafe au lait and my blog. Sweet bliss. Listening to the "O Brother, Where Art Thou" soundtrack. ("Keep on the sunny side, always on the sunny side, keep on the sunny side of life!") The dog's at my feet, snoozing quietly. It was rainy all night and still kind-of is, making for my favorite kind of weather.

Even better than all this is that, after our 10am meeting, I will drive the short distance to this restaurant, one of Atlantans' favorites, and I will order Fish Tacos and corn chowder and I will eat and be very satisfied. I will also remember to purchase a to-go order for my Darling Husband. And then he will be happy, which actually makes me happiest of all.

New clickies*

Two of my recent favorites have been added to the Good Reads list over there ...take your place of honor, ladies! [Trumpet fanfare! Tah-doo-doo-dah!] I have many blogs bookmarked, but only a few make the link-to-me cut. It means I consider your writing superior. Congratula-see-ons!

Indigo Girl is a woman of exceptional strength and vigor, as she is raising, in her words, "two Junior Mints." Twins, people! God loveher. She writes brilliantly -- and, a lot! of which I'm jealous -- and has spectacular insight into the ages and stages. (Also, her girls are about the same or a little ahead of AJ's age and development, so I'm getting tips and tricks from her! Bonus!)

And thatgirl, from Dance As if Nobody is Watching, observes gently, astutely and hilariously as her little ones grow; her youngest is 9 months (making ME look like the expert with tips and tricks -NOT-); she has enough archives to keep me busy on the off-chance I ever have a whole sick day all to myself; and she lives with a real-live Cowboy, how cool is that?? (being originally from Texas myself, I think that is very cool.)

Thanks for helping me procrastinate, new friends!

*Term stolen right from suburban misfit, who's inching her way right up onto my list, as well.

Oh dear oh dear oh dear

(Notice my overuse of three-repeat headlines lately? What does that mean, do you think?)

Nervous for a friend of mine who, at this moment, is having a Conversation. With her Boss. Who's also my Boss. Eeeeeeeeeek.

Music review: Foo Fighters' new album -- the 2nd acoustic disc -- is fantabulous. Dave Grohl has a really beautiful singing voice. It's too bad the 1st disc in the set consists of him screeching for 10 songs. I can't get into too much of that, although I've only listened once. We'll see if it grows on me. (I doubt you thought I listened to the likes of FF! Surprise!)

AJ review: Woke up coughing this morning. I am In Prayer that he doesn't have Croup, for which there is a sign on the daycare door: "A student in Infant 1 has been diagnosed with Croup." We're in Infant 2, mind you, but that doesn't mean we haven't been exposed. Still... hello, scare tactics. As if it's the Pox or Ebola. My faithful Dr. Sears says this: "Is Croup contagious? Yes, it is about as contagious as the common cold. Good hand washing is important to prevent spread." So, perhaps not a life-or-death threat as advertised. But, dear me. Don't be sick, Baby. I've got my cool-mist humidifer at the ready, just in case he starts barking.

Storm review: Good lord, we're all the way to K. Poor Pensacola, home of my entire extended family, is supposed to be bracing for another Fun Time Hurricane. I don't wish any harm to anyone, but... go to Texas, Katrina. They're tougher and less battle-scarred over there -- they can handle you, Miss Category 2-and-a-half. We've had enough of your kind in the Panhandle of F-L-A.

Wimpy, wimpy, wim-py

I think I remember that others of you out there in the universe do this, too: When you're having an "issue" with your husbands or friends or co-workers, sometimes it's easier to "confront" them with an email than in person. I just did that. Husband and I are dealing with an "issue" -- nothing to worry about and thanks for your concern -- but I wasn't brave enough to just bring it up last night. I had to write him an email. Is that so cowardly of me? It makes me cringe and, as the Genie in Aladdin once said, "I feel sheepish." But I hope it will spark just the conversation we need to have.

Waste time much?

Sometimes during the weekend, I'll think of all these brilliant things I want to blog about, but when I get to the computer on Monday morning, every idea has vanished from my brain. Lately the only things on my mind have been soooo mundane: What are we going to have for dinner this week, how did AJ get that scratch on his cheek, did I write the check to daycare, when will I ever have time to clean out that flower pot and plant something new in it, will this dog ever stop shedding... nothing too earth-shattering. You may have noticed, if you read with any regularity!

And so, to celebrate the season of Not Much Going On, here is a lovely little meme for you.

"Getting to Know You"
1. What is your occupation? Web producer and content writer
2. What are you listening to right now? My own typing skills and the hum of a flourescent light
3. What are you wearing right now? Red floral tank top, red capri pants
4. What was the last thing you ate? Wheat bagel with light cream cheese and peach salsa, yum.
5. Do you wish on stars? YES
6. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? I can't decide. RED, or Spring Green
7. How is the weather right now? Haven't been out yet but I bet it's hot and humid
8. Last person you spoke to on the phone? Probably my husband
9. Where would you go right now, if you could go anywhere? Bed.
10. How old are you today? 31
11. Favorite drink? Coca-Cola classic over ice
12. What is your favorite sport? Um, reading? I guess baseball, in terms of general sports. I also like the girly ones like gymnastics.
13. Have you ever dyed your hair? Highlighted, yes
14. Do you wear contacts? Nope
15. Pets? Napoleon, lab-chow mix
16. Favorite month? December
17. Favorite food? Pizza or Mexican (how many times have I answered that question the exact same way??)
18. What was the last movie you watched? "Must Love Dogs"
19. Favorite day of the year? Christmas Day
20. What do you do to vent anger? Whine aloud to whomever is standing closest. Write in blog. Call sister.
21 What was your favorite toy as a child? It depends on the year... Fashion Plates ranked pretty high up...my diary wasn't really a toy but I spent a lot of time with it... I guess dolls, in general. Ooh, and my chalkboard! Won it in a "toy walk" at the city "Jubiliee" one year and adored that thing! Subjected my sister to MANY games of "School" where I was the teacher (and thus, the only one who got to use the chalkboard)!
22. Fall or Spring? Fall
23. Hugs or kisses? Hugs
24. Cherry or Blueberry? Cherry
25. Living arrangements? House (3br/2ba) in a subdivision in a suburb
26. When was the last time you cried? Last time I had PMS! No wait, yesterday, watching AJ play (he was so cute and it just got to me, all of a sudden. And maybe there was some sappy commercial on at the same time...*embarrassed shrug*)
27. What is on the floor of your closet? Shoes, a couple of baseball caps, shoe boxes
28. Who is the friend you have had the longest? My sister
29. What did you do last night? Made dinner, played with AJ, cleaned up the kitchen, read a magazine, watched Anthony Bourdain's new show
30. Favorite smell? just-bathed AJ
31. Favorite day of the week? Saturday
32. How many states have you lived in? 3 = TX, FL, GA
33. How many cities have you lived in? Are we counting suburbs? Then, 6. Hereford Tx, Pensacola, Atlanta, Decatur, Marietta, and Paris ("lived" there for 6 weeks)
34. How did you meet your mate? At work
35. What person has inspired you the most in your life? Such a hard question. I guess, at one time, my friend Jenny inspired me a whole lot. She was very vibrant, a couple of years older than me, and I adored her. She helped me "find" my personality, I think (this was when I was a teen). Or if not that, she brought out a side of my personality that wasn't known to me -- my silly, extroverted, make-a-fool-of-myself and do-unexpected-things side. We had the best times together, doing anything from reading poetry to tap-dancing to having rainy-afternoon picnics to just driving around, or giggling like crazy while we brushed our teeth. Ah, to be young! We lost touch after college and since then, have communicated sporadically, but our lives aren't very similar anymore. She stayed in theater and played the lead roles and the quirky ones, and I moved more inside myself, started singing choral music and thus becoming more "unseen," as a blended voice rather than a stand-out. Funny how our hobbies mirrored our personalities a bit. Last time we were together we were clearly on two different planes. But I treasure what she meant to me, and how we inspired each other.

Hey, feel free to play along if you've read all the way to the end (and if you're bored like I was)!

[Evil laugh...] Grocery Success!

Ha, ha, ha, Child: I am sneaky and your vegetables are coming!

On the Side

Headline homage to The Amateur Gourmet
...but having nothing to do with food...

We got an estimate from the siding guy. Only $5900 to re-side the front and stage-right side of our house, in vinyl. We currently have a "composite" wood siding, which Siding Guy told us was not much more than compressed sawdust. You can read all about the many class action lawsuits against this kind of siding. Sadly, the statue of limitations has long since passed so we won't be getting any money for it. Which I'm sorta glad about -- the hassle of figuring THAT out would've driven me out of my gourd. Anyhoo, won't it be fun to spend six thousand bucks on vinyl siding?! Once this year, and again next year for the back and stage-left? I can hardly wait.

I went to see a movie on Friday night with a girlfriend. We had a good time and the movie "Must Love Dogs," was exceptionally girly. Not particularly good, but watchable. I adore Diane Lane. And who doesn't adore John Cusak? After "Say Anything," he can do no wrong in my eyes, and if anyone from my generation disagrees, I'd be interested to know about it. I can't imagine. He'll forever be stamped "Romantic Ideal" if you ask me. Which is why, I suppose, he chose to do this sickeningly romantic "post-divorce love story." Even as he gets older, (and fatter), his character's still got that charm and sensibility. Perhaps the same character every time, naysayers might cry? Probably, but this does not matter. Predictable? Yes. He gets the girl in the end? Yes. He blathers on "philosophically" in run-on sentences about kickboxing? No, he blathers about rowing in this one. But we don't care! We love ya anyway, Johnny C. The outing was just what I needed. The ice cream, I did not need. But it was tasty!

A veggie tale

Or, My Kid Eats Meat.

My darling child, no matter what I do, will not eat a vegetable unless it is a green bean. I have exhausted myself to try to figure out how to serve other vessels of vitamins and minerals so that he will think, "Delicious! Give me more!!" So far, it hasn't happened. Ketchup doesn't help. Cheese doesn't help. Butter and brown sugar (on carrots) doesn't help. Zesty Italian dressing, no (come on! It's Zesty!!). Ranch dressing, no. Disguising vegetables in vanilla yogurt, no (although it did work, back when he was too young to know better). I've tried broccoli, carrots, peas, Veg*All, creamed corn (yummy!), avacado, asparagus, zucchini, cucumber... all the baby-friendly veggies I can think of. I haven't tried spinach yet but he wouldn't even eat that out of the baby food jar. I fear no good would come of it.

I am about to have a cow. So to speak. (But dangit, he'll EAT cow.)

It's soooo frustrating to KNOW that toddlers can take a while to warm up to a food, and therefore, you have to try it many zillions of times before they might eat it. So instead, I keep trying NEW ones, all the while continuing to try the same old ones, and nothing works. I've been reading about how to disguise veggies in chili, spaghetti sauce, etc... but I want him to love vegetables for the pure love of them! I mean, who can resist a cool cucumber on a summer afternoon? The crrrrunch! of a bell pepper? The wascally wabbit's favorite carrot?? Perhaps, I'll admit, he's a bit young for that kind of gourmet sensibility, but I mean -- butter and brown sugar? How does one not love that?!

Of course he's also very adept at dropping vegetables onto the floor for the dog. He can even announce that he's about to do it, with his adorable, almost inaudible "Uh-ohhh." Deliver me from the constant cuteness!

Green beans it is, I guess, until I can figure this out. He is absolutely going to turn in to a green bean. Or... I've heard there is such a thing as a "Veggie Stick." In the frozen foods aisle. Not too sure how "real" that kind of veggie is, but it may serve us well until he's oh, fifteen, and can appreciate a good raw biome.

Why it's great to be a Mommy:

Because, when you forget that you have an 8:00 am dentist appointment and make your coffee in the programmable coffee pot the night before, but you can't drink it in the morning before the appointment (natch, and ewww), you can keep it warm in the car while you drive to the dentist's office using your Handy Bottle Warming Device! (And even though your baby has totally outgrown needing his bottle warmed, you're too tired and forgetful and busy (being a Mommy) to have removed that device months ago -- it's still conveniently packed in the backseat pocket.) :)

It came! It came!

My latest amazon purchase arrived today! Containing this:

Awesome Children's CD No. 1

and this:

Awesome Children's CD No. 2

I am like a kid at Christmas hopping around and dancing in my living room. :)

AJ seems to like kinda like 'em, too.

Aww, man

One of my favorite pals is quitting her blog. I am bummed about this because it's a good blog. It was the reason I decided I wanted one. She's a talented writer and I will miss learning from her way with words. She always seems to pinpoint the exact thoughts in her head with the perfect phrase, and it's never pithy or cliche.

She has her reasons, and they're valid. The powerful, friendly Internet has a sinister side, too, whereby friends (or enemies) interpret the written word in a manner most unlike what the writer intended. This happened recently in a string of emails from my parish's former choir director to the new choir director. If you can believe this, name-calling was exchanged between them, and of course those who were CC'd had to jump in to defend, or to add their rude commentary, too. It was all based on somebody's memo-gone-awry. So feelings were hurt, (immaturities proven), and a whole bunch of unbecoming DRAMA ensued. It blew over (after a priest who was CC'd chimed in with quite a reprimand), but it's an illustration of what can happen when our lives, and our dashed-off notes, are chronicled, passed around, filed away, and read and re-read. There's a term I've learned that also applies -- "assvice." I love when people preface their blog comments with "I have this assvice to give:" As if they know they're providing something without being asked, and that they will be seen as jerks for doing so. But... sometimes people don't preface. Anyway, I'm sorry for my friend. She seems sad to bid goodbye to a whole part of herself. But sometimes you just have to make a clean break and forget it.

Welcome, the Idiot Box

I am guilty: I watched the Teletubbies yesterday with AJ. He is finally starting to notice the television, much to my dismay, but I know that's a developmental milestone, too, so I guess it's good as long as we keep it on PBS or Disney, and not on the video game channel. At first I thought, "Whoa, maybe all the research is right, and kids really do like these (wacked-out, drug-induced) Teletubbie guys," because AJ was mezmerized by their weird little talking and the Baby-Head sunshine thing. He even danced once or twice with the music, and smiled and pointed. But every once in a while, he was obviously weirded out (as was I), because he'd let out a little whimper and screw up his face just the tiniest bit. So I think they're weird. I may not watch them again.

I will, however, let him watch Sesame Street, which he seems to be enjoying more and more, and buy him the Cookie Monster CD that DH and I have been craving for months now (we LOVE "If me knew you were coming, me'd have baked a cake." Now that is Classic Cookie). I will also let him watch "Clifford the Big Red Dog," because it is so funny to watch him "barking" at all the other dogs on that show. He stood there yesterday and went, "AAh.... Aah.... Aah.... Aah!" in rapid-fire succession. Which is cute because he doesn't ever "bark" at Napoleon, he just pants. But these dogs apparently needed a Talking To.

In the details.

This is long and has Bible quotes. You've been warned.

I have had a very big lack of faith-practice lately. And I don't just mean not going to church, although that has been a problem in and of itself since I was in college. I just don't really go unless a) I'm at home with my parents, or b) I'm bound by a choir gig. The Catholic "Sunday Obligation" isn't enough for me, I guess; I need a calendar-specific reason. So, I've been on the schedule as a cantor the last 2 weekends, but before that (and not including my sister's wedding Mass), I have just slacked about church this summer. It doesn't help that AJ is in a very squirmy stage and I'm using it as an excuse, nor that DH, for all his good intentions, doesn't really like the process of getting all dressed up and going to church -- he feels like it's interrupting his only relax-time on the weekend, i.e., he gets all dressed up 5 days a week for work. And I respect that. He works hard. It's okay to want 2 days off. So ANYWAY, this post isn't really supposed to be about that. (And here's where I have to throw in an apology to my Mom because I don't know that I've ever admitted outright to her that I don't attend church every week. Surely she knows that, though. Right? Shirley. Sorry, Mom.)

What this post is about is the very wide absence of any spiritual awareness in my life lately. I mean, usually I can see around me all the good things that are of God -- the breeze that cools me, the good fact that I have a job, even when I'm feeling down about it, the real love that I feel for Husband and AJ, and that LOVE = GOD, and there you go. Usually, I spend more time thinking on those things. Lately? Nothing. I'm wandering around without a compass, I guess. I don't read the Bible (cradle Catholic, I told you), I don't do daily devotionals, I don't even read Beliefnet anymore. I think part of it is that I'm just totally distracted by this child-raising thing. I mean, you parents know it is a CONSTANT activity -- one never gets a chance to NOT think about the child. To ignore him for a while. I know, I know, take time for yourself and blah blah blah... but it never really includes reflective time. If I do that, I want to read a book or get a massage or do some shopping. Or, you know, if I was feeling motivated, I'd workout. (HA.) Don't misunderstand, I am keenly aware, every time I look at AJ, that he is an extremely precious gift from God and my part in helping to create him is nothing short of a miracle. The fact that God would trust me with such a responsibility is pretty mind-blowing.... but my mind stays pretty much blown with "What am I going to feed the kid for dinner THIS time (turkey dogs and green beans, again)?"

So it struck me on Sunday, when I was sitting at church in the cantor's seat, trying NOT to listen to the reading -- trying, instead, to practice the next song in my head -- that all of a sudden God was finding a way to poke at me and say, "HEY! Listen up, you. Pay attention." He is very good at this, in my experience. It's all in the littlest things -- God is in the details, as they say. First reading: 1 Kings 19: (excerpt)
Elijah came to a cave where he took shelter.
Then the LORD said to him,
"Go outside and stand on the mountain before the LORD;
the LORD will be passing by."
...but the LORD was not in the wind.
After the wind there was an earthquake--
but the LORD was not in the earthquake.
After the earthquake there was fire--
but the LORD was not in the fire.
After the fire there was a tiny whispering sound.

Ahem. [God's booming voice, whispering:] "I am here. But I whisper. You have to work a bit harder to hear Me."

Second reading, which called me right out: Romans 9:1-5: ...my conscience joins with the Holy Spirit in bearing me witness that I have great sorrow and constant anguish in my heart. For I could wish that I myself were accursed and cut off from Christ for the sake of my own people, my kindred according to the flesh.

[me looking around] Who, me?? This is precisely it. I am kinda sorrowful and anguished lately, faith-wise. And obviously cutting myself off from Christ. (Or, at least from the Church, which is sometimes of Christ and sometimes... well, that's a whole other topic.) Hmph. Alright, what about the Gospel reading? Surely three in a row won't be so dang personal. And then...

[as God chuckled:] Matthew 14:
Meanwhile the boat, already a few miles offshore,
was being tossed about by the waves, for the wind was against it.
During the fourth watch of the night,
he came toward them walking on the sea...
Peter said to him..."Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water."
He said, "Come." Peter got out of the boat and began to walk on the water toward Jesus.
But when he saw how strong the wind was he became frightened;
and, beginning to sink, he cried out, "Lord, save me!"
Immediately Jesus stretched out his hand and caught Peter,
and said to him, "O you of little faith, why did you doubt?"

Ummm. Okay, wow. By this time I had hastily pulled out my hymnal to make sure they were reading the right ones for this week. "Ye of little faith." So you see? It's in the details and perhaps if I turn my mind toward them and pay better attention, I can get my spirit back.

There were other things, I think, the rest of that day. I can't remember them all now, but things like when I went into church, it was raining and gray, and so was my mood (childish bad attitude about having to be at church when I didn't wanna)... but when we came out, after all that revelation during the readings, hmm, surprise, the sun was shining again. And see? I think of that as significant. Or, at least, illustrative. Another way of God trying to say "You see what I can do? I can turn things back around if you'll just NOTICE."

So. I'm trying to be better about keeping my eyes open. Oh yeah, and my heart. I'm still not 100% there yet. But that's another thing I realized... that I think it's OKAY. This is the way the path has turned for the moment, and I'm still walking. And it may be this way for some time to come. Maybe I'm only going to get small inklings of God right now. He gives us what we can handle.

Visit from the 'rents

My parents are coming to visit this weekend. Yay! I love when they call and say "Hey, ummm.... can we come visit?" My Dad always adds, "I'm pretty sure AJ needs to see me." I love that. He is so stuck on this kid. First grandson, and all. I told him that AJ was playing outside a lot lately, and I think that's what did it. He just saw him 3 weeks ago but he can't stand it much longer than that. So cute. I am sure those 2 will wear their baseball caps this weekend! And, bonus... I now have a babysitter for Saturday! You know what that means. DATE NIGHT!

Boo-boo report

How cute is it that Daycare provides a Boo-Boo Report?? Since we're in the Big Kids' Room now, walking and talking and climbing and all, we of course have this danger. I love it. The teacher wrote, "We applied ice and gave AJ lots of love and he didn't even cry, but a small bruise might appear." He is becoming quite the little boy, with scrapes on his knees from toddling along the driveway, mosquito bites on his face because when he's outside, he's much too busy to bother shooing the bugs away, and now this lovely bruise/scratch in the middle of his forehead. It's very Harry Potter, actually. He was fighting off He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named, I guess. The best part is his 1-year portrait is supposed to be taken tomorrow. Lovely. Guess we'll be calling the studio today to reschedule! If I'm paying good money, I want him to be Porcelain.

The other night, he was taking his bath. Bathtime at our household is mostly an exercise in distraction. AJ does not like, nor has he ever liked, water in his face. He gets very upset. We're still hopeful that one day he'll figure out that it's fun -- and we're getting a few signs of that, like when he "tastes" the water now, smacking his lips, instead of screaming his head off. But as a rule, bathtime is not our favorite time. We get in, we get clean, we play as much as we can stand, and we're done. So this last bath, we were playing the body parts game. He knows his tongue, eyes, hair, feet, and is about to figure out his nose. We were trying out new parts... where's your belly button? Arm? Chin? Knees... when Daddy got the bright idea to ask, "AJ, where's your pee-pee?" (Leave it to a man to be sure and remember the MOST IMPORTANT body part of all.) Honestly, it was as if he looked back at us and said, "This thing has a NAME?" Of course, it is a pretty obvious part, easy-to-access and all. Well, ACCESS IT, he did, and then couldn't STOP accessing it. "HOW CURIOUS!" he must have been thinking to himself. Daddy and Mommy had the conversation about, "Should we call it by its actual name? ...Nah, "p*nis" just sounds too strange to say aloud all the time, right? Right. Pee-pee is an easier word for kids to grasp (so to speak)... etc..." while AJ continued "learning" it. He even looked up and sounded it out, grinning at us: "Puh-puh." As I said, the Art of Distraction comes in handy during the bath. We finally succeeded. Finally. "Hey, look, AJ, your BOAT! There's Captain Eddie! WOW, isn't that fun!?" And, "peek-a-boo! Hey! Look over here...PEEK-A-BOOOO!!" But it was no easy feat. "FEET! AJ, where are your FEET?!"

A wet riot, I tell you. Mommy had tears in her eyes from laughing, and Daddy just grinned and shook his head, guilty of starting this, and unable to verbalize the concept, this father-son thing, this brotherhood of man.

Amazing what a little B6 can do*

Today is a very good day. AJ and I are at home, and I'm working, although there isn't a whole lotta work to do -- the client phone call I needed to make this morning has been made, and I keep checking email but there's nothing significant. Therefore, much to my delight, I was able to clean the crusted green beans and oatmeal out from the tiny cracks and crevices of our highchair, and put the cushion through a looong wash cycle. I hope to be able to start the casserole I'm making for Book Club tomorrow night, and maybe even run the vacuum over the living room. Wouldn't that be nice?

We found, while cleaning the highchair, the Duck that's been missing for more than a week. Hooray! We wer sure it had gone out with the trash, as that's AJ's favorite activity of late -- putting things IN. Wish he'd find a different receptacle, but hey, he's learning, right?

And on an unrelated note, I have become determined to find a good park around here -- one with swingsets and things for AJ to climb on. He just LOVES being outside. On Saturday, we took him out for a while in our yard, and brought his plastic baseball bat and Daddy's glove. Got some cute pictures of that scene -- Daddy showing him how to hold the glove, him putting the ball in it. I wish we could do that every day, all of us together! It was a moment that will last in my heart, so precious and so fleeting (mostly due to the heat and the mosquitos -- we had to make a hasty retreat when it got unbearable). It's wet out today so the "park" project might be for another time. But I'm still smiling at the thought of future baseball games in the grass, and AJ learning to throw and catch and run.

*Vitamin B6, one of my best friends. Good for what ails ya. And for what makes you cry inexplicably (yesterday).

All grown up (me)

Just attended the latest 401k seminar at work. Ugh. Overall, things like that make me hate being a grown up. But at the moment -- truly just 5 minutes after the workshop has ended -- I'm a little bit motivated. What I want to do is take a day (or a week?!) off to focus on nothing but FINANCES. Husband and I have been wanting to sit down and "do a budget" for ages. We need to do that, plus all this retirement planning (we already save regularly, but not very attentively), plus college planning for AJ, plus just regular old savings plans. Like I said, we already do all of these, but I would feel better about it if I could FOCUS on it, and nothing else, for at least a day. I'm thinking it would really require more time than that.

Yuck. You can ask my Dad, I HATE talking finances. He usually catches my wrath when he brings stuff like this up. But while I'm somewhat inspired, I'd better take advantage.

(Attention coworkers, this is a good seminar... you'd be wise to go.)

My CIO post

This post is sort-of about Crying It Out. You're right -- I'm so five minutes ago. Blog history was made on this subject a full month ago, but here, it's the current event of the day. Not because I'm debating whether or not to try it. I'm all for it. (Here come the tomatoes.)

Starting at about 8 months, I got serious about putting AJ to sleep with a very specific routine. And it goes like this: (We usually change into jammies before time to go to bed, so assuming that's done)
1.Take Blankie and AJ up to his room, brush "teeth."
2. Sit in the rocking chair together and read 1 or 2 stories.
3.Sing a lullaby.
4.Say, "AJ, Mommy and Daddy love you.... I'm going to put you in your bed now. Sleep well. Have sweet dreams. We'll see you in the morning. Night Night."

Now that is one heckuva routine, right? I'm proud. Even though I've caved more often than I should, singing him to sleep instead of putting him down while he's still awake. But I BELIEVE in Crying It Out, and I wait for the day when he has learned, as all the theorizers and baby philosophers promised, how to soothe himself to sleep.

Except. That it hasn't happened yet. Or, at least I'm not sure if it has. Usually if I put him down awake, he pushes back up to his knees, mad that I'm leaving him. "Wha-- MOM! But we were having such a nice lullaby! Why would you leave NOW? WAAA." That goes on as I shoo the dog out of the room and close the door, and usually continues for about 2-5 minutes more. We listen intently on the monitor. All vocal noise ceases. He shuffles around -- I imagine him readjusting his teddy, Blankie, PJs, and the sheets, and flopping his head back and forth a few times just like his Mommy does -- and then, Wonderful Sleep.

So I ask you, dear smart people: Is he satisfactorily soothed? Or is he just giving up? I know of kids who go into their cribs quietly, lay themselves down, and tip-toe off to Dreamland. As if they're saying, "Wow, thanks, Mommy, I am pretty tired, and this bed feels so nice and cool and welcoming. Good night." That is what I would consider to be "self-soothed." Is what I'm getting a different version of that, or is my routine not working?

The thing is, bedtime works for us -- and when he stops crying, he's done. He sleeps -- well -- for 10 hours or more every night, and has, since about 6 months old. I guess I'm just curious.

I... have very little to share

I had weird dreams last night. Not bad dreams, just weird. I remember right before waking up, I was giving Hubby a $5 bill. Shortly after I did wake up, he asked me if I had any money. And I gave him TWO $5 bills. So the moral is, I need to start dreaming about winning the million-dollar lottery.

...

AJ had one of his best nights ever. GOD BLESS DAYCARE for putting him down to nap in the LATE afternoon! When we pick him up and he hasn't napped since 12:30 (may I add: What the...? No afternoon nap? Are they crazy?), he is a Holy Terror. Won't sit still in his high chair at dinner, whines to be held for 3 hours straight, cries during his bath. Argh. But last night, he was the Picture of Adorable. He loved the spaghetti I gave him for dinner, as well as the strawberries for dessert. Mmmm. He had his dessert while we had our dinner, which was almost like the Family Dinner Gold Standard which I dream of one day attaining. (This goal also includes getting DH to TURN OFF G4TV and converse with us during the meal! Um, hello?! We're over here, honey.) He later played with his Daddy's shoes, much to the delight of his parents, who thought watching him drag them around by the laces was the Height of Entertainment. (Even better than G4.) His little head got very warm with all the high-energy playing he did before bed. And then, he fell asleep with nary a whimper. HOOray! A happy family evening, all hazy with the warm glow of our simple bliss... and I managed to kick out a complete, balanced meal, to boot. (Ooh, punny!)

...

I luurrvh Comcast DVR. Or TiVo, whatever you want to call it. I love it because last night, Bravo decided to play the Blow Out Reunion show at ELEVEN P.M.! Why would they do this to me? Don't they know that I am worthless after 9:00? Especially after filling my tummy with angel-hair and meat sauce and garlic bread. Ooof. AS-LEEP. Eyes not opening. So anyway, no biggie, we "taped" it. Does anyone else say that? We can't stop ourselves, even though there is obviously no tape involved. Linguistic error. "DVR'd it" doesn't roll off the tongue, but we don't have TiVo, we have Comcast DVR. I'm guessing "TiVo'd" is slated to become the next "Xerox" or the next "Google." Proprietary Eponyms, they're called. I just learned that by googling.

...

(Edited 9:29am) One other thing I have on my mind. I think it is time to cut AJ's darling baby hair. He's getting dangerously close to mullet-dom, rat-tail-hood, whatever you want to call it. :) His bangs -- well, one bang, really -- reach down to his nose and I'm contantly brushing it back. It's precious as ever and I can't bear the thought of turning him into A Big Boy with four or five little round-scissor-snips! But it must be done. The question -- do I do it myself, or take him to a professional?